Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

PROVIDENCE — Add one part “Unleashed,” two parts “Passion of the Christ,” a little bit of cliff sexin’ and what do you get? That’s right folks, we’re talking about “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans,” the newest — and hopefully final — installment in the “Underworld” series.

January is always a slow month for movies, and “Rise of the Lycans” perfectly fits the bill for a poorly-made action movie that couldn’t make it come summertime.

The movie isn’t completely terrible, but don’t go into the theater expecting something amazing. All three “Underworld” movies need to be appreciated for what they are: cheesy vampire movies that give the studios a few extra bucks during the slow season.

The acting in this movie is surprisingly good. Despite the material, Michael Sheen was interesting as the character of Lucian and I’m glad they had him reprise his role for the third movie. Sheen is a great actor for a movie like this and I thank my lucky stars that he played the character of Lucian like an action hero instead of a lovesick puppy (pun intended), because frankly Rhona Mitra’s character, and her acting, just aren’t worth it.

I know that the casting directors were looking for someone who looked like Kate Beckinsale but they really sacrificed quality for looks here. Mitra is a bland actress, and something tells me she just couldn’t get a feel for those vampire teeth since her lips were puffed out the whole time. More than usual that is.

The brightest spot in this movie however — in the whole series, if I’m being honest — is Bill Nighy. Carrying himself through the film like a modern day Nosferatu, Nighy was seriously the perfect pick to play Viktor, and you have to love that he still does this kind of movie for the sheer joy of being creepy on film.

Patrick Tatopoulos took over the direction for this third installment for the franchise and yet he didn’t bring anything new to the look and feel of the movie. It’s still dark with plenty of chain mail and coven sluts. This saddens me just a tad though, I was kind of hoping that with all his experience in creature design he’d make the Lycans look a bit more badass for the prequel. Yes, they still look like they were torn from a bad 80’s horror movie. Too bad, maybe if there weren’t two other movies already he could have done more. Oh well.

All in all “Rise of the Lycans” is not a bad movie. In fact it’s perfect for what it is: a cheesy vampire flick. Go in there expecting chain mail, bad visuals and some cheesy lines and you’ll be all set. If you go in there hoping for the next amazing fantasy movie, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

And “Twilight” fans, just stay away from this one altogether. Nighy is too much vampire for you to handle.