The fact that Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year bodes well for people of all relationship statuses. Couples can spend all day together, or devote a good time to solitary preening in preparation for a big date that night. Singles, if they choose, don’t even have to get out of bed and expose themselves to the romantic bliss around them, but can instead spend the entire day watching schmaltzy movies with Ben, Jerry and a bottle of wine, or browsing through Craigslist Missed Connections “" without even having to use up a sick day.
Even those who fall into the awkward I-don’t-know-if-we’ve-been-dating-long-enough-to-make-a-big-deal-out-of-Valentine’s-Day gray area can fall back on any number of “previous engagement” excuses should the need for nonchalance arise.
But for some, it doesn’t matter on which square of the calendar the dreaded V-Day falls. For those of you unlucky ones still nursing a wounded heart, there’s nothing like a depressing love song to remind you that we’ve all been there.
As our Valentine’s gift to you, we at Blast have selected — in a completely subjective and non-scientific process — a smattering of songs to play alongside that montage of the bliss-heartbreak trajectory that you can’t get out of your head. And we’ve handily broken them down into categories based on the five stages of grief (some are more popular than others)! So, whether you’re pining over the one that got away or cringing over the one that never should have gotten to you in the first place, crank up your iPod and sing it out. Lord knows you’ve got nothing better to do this Saturday!
Denial: The shell-shocked stage of still believing your ex will come waltzing back through the door, begging for your forgiveness on his or her knees. Other symptoms may include keeping framed pictures, clothes, toothbrushes, etc.
“Maybe Someday” The Cure
“Strange and Beautiful” Aqualung
“You Really Got A Hold On Me” Smokey Robinson (or Cyndi Lauper’s significantly more melancholy version if you’re looking for the fast track to Depression)
“Against All Odds” Phil Collins
“Unchained Melody” The Righteous Brothers
“Cannonball” Damien Rice
“Still Loving You” The Scorpions
“Say It Isn’t So” The Outfield
“With Or Without You” U2
“Another Perfect Day” American Hi-Fi
Anger: Hey, you know what all those pictures and clothes are great for? A bonfire! At this point, it doesn’t even matter if that (insert vulgar insult here) comes back, you wouldn’t give them the time of day.
“Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart” Janis Joplin
“My Happy Ending” Avril Lavigne
“Long Way to Happy” Pink
“Before He Cheats” Carrie Underwood
Bargaining: But maybe if they radically changed their political views and quit talking to their ex you would.
“Sell My Old Clothes, I’m Off To Heaven” Saves the Day (Ed. Note: Blast does not encourage its readers to gouge their eyes out in order to win back a lover’s affection. If there’s anything that’s worse than being single, it’s being blind, permanently disfigured AND single.)
“Cry” Faith Hill
“Again” Janet Jackson
“The Scientist” Coldplay
“I’m Alright” Stereophonics
“Sleep Better” Pete Yorn
Depression: Oh God it hurts. People go through breakups all the time, but no one has ever experienced the searing emotional pain that you are feeling right now. No. One. (Except all the people listed below)
“Nothing Compares 2 U” Sinead O’Conner (Hey, healing through music sometimes comes at the expense of dignity.)
“Hide and Seek” Imogen Heap
“I Can’t Be With You” The Cranberries
“Somebody” Depeche Mode
“One Year Six Months” Yellowcard
“Picture” Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
“Breathe” Melissa Etheridge
“Sleep” Azure Ray
“Only Yesterday” Taken By Trees
“Back to Black” Amy Winehouse (If you’re stuck in a rut, just think “" at least you’re not Amy Winehouse.)
“For No One” The Beatles
“Country Feedback” R.E.M.
“Over and Over Again” Nelly feat. Tim McGraw
“You Were Meant for Me” Jewel
“You Were Mine” Dixie Chicks
“Title and Registration” Death Cab for Cutie (Let’s face it, 90 percent of the songs in their catalog could fit into one or more of these categories. Take your pick.)
“Everything Reminds Me Of Her” Elliott Smith
Acceptance:‚ Basically these are all female empowerment anthems. Maybe guys never get to this stage?
“I Will Survive” Gloria Gaynor (or Cake’s rendition if there’s still a little lingering anger)
“Survivor” Destiny’s Child
“Since U Been Gone” Kelly Clarkson
“Landslide” Fleetwood Mac
“Call It Off” Tegan & Sara
“Not Big” Lily Allen
“No More I Love Yous” Annie Lennox
“The First Cut is The Deepest” Sheryl Crow
Now it’s your turn, Blast readers! Which songs do you choose to be the soundtrack for your wallowing? Sound off below!