A man wakes up from a coma after almost 15 years. His friends, family and the world around him are vastly different than the world he remembers. The man makes a jokes about something no one remembers and everyone laughs politely. This, in essence is what the majority of Duke Nukem Forever feels like. Yes, it’s great seeing Duke after all these years, but he is truly a man stuck in time – and that’s not a good thing. Graphically inferior to most modern day shooters , Forever is filled with problems that make you wonder why Gearbox
even bothered.
They say that patience is a virtue, and using that logic, Duke Nukem’s fans are saints. By now, you surely know the story of Duke Nukem’s return to games. Announced nearly 15 years ago, Duke Nukem Forever has been shuffled from developer to developer before becoming virtual vaporware when it’s current studio, 3D Realms closed its doors in 2009. That is, until Randy Pitchford and Gearbox software swooped in and announced that they would be publishing and finally releasing the game. After all of this time, fans of the long running series deserve more. Much more.
Right from the get-go, Duke Nukem Forever looks ages behind most modern day shooters. Textures are messy and undetailed, there’s a ton of slowdown and screen tearing and the entire game just looks unpolished. Character models look robotic and outdated as well. Okay, I get it, Gearbox wanted to keep the spirit of the original game intact, they wanted it to look like it’s still from that era of gaming, but they better hope that the rest of the world, and not just the gaming public is in on the joke, and are willing to pay $60 for a game that looks like it’s decades old.
Just some of the bigger enemies you'll be facing in Duke Nukem Forever
Of course, the appeal of Duke Nukem has always been it’s take no prisoners in your face adult humor. It’s here (the first two minutes feature quicktime events of the game’s protagonist peeing and then ability to pick up poop and throw it), but unfortunately it too feels dated. Remember movies like Team America: World Police and the famous political scandals of the 90s? Because Duke Nukem and Gearbox sure do.
The game is filled with dated jokes and references that just feel so stale. Oh, there are references to modern day; like the time Duke walks past a suit of Spartan like Armor and mocks it, saying that he doesn’t need it, but they’re few and far between. Curiously enough, it’s this Halo joke that points out another one of Duke’s issues. It scoffs at mechanics from games like Halo, but that regenerating health bar seems awfully familiar doesn’t it?
For the majority of the game, Duke Nukem Forever feels an awful lot like you’d expect, a throwback that harkens back to the shooters of the early 90s. The good news is that this makes for some pretty cool moments; like the one that finds Duke Nukem racing around in a miniature RC car, but the bad news is that this too feels incredibly dated. After nearly 30-45 seconds of loading each time you load the game (the load screens are also filled with helpful tips like “Enemies sometimes drop weapons”), you’re treated to horrid enemy AI, awkward puzzles and terrible uneven aiming. The worst part offender by far though is the game’s terrible pathfinding and level design. You’re going to find yourself backtracking through levels and searching for objectives as the game employs no map, and very few levels feature an easy to identify path.
Of course, Duke Nukem Forever also has multiplayer modes, but they too are just as buggy as the singe player campaign – just with a lot of Dukes instead of just one. We setup a number of play tests with a few other outlets that got an early copy of the game and featured tons of lag, and uneven play. Hopefully this will be addressed via a patch once the game comes out, but for now it was nearly unplayable at times.
Strippers. The Duke's got 'em.
Blast Factor: After continuous delays and even a cancelation, Duke Nukem Forever is finally here and the results are unfortunately disappointing. The humor is lacking and the gameplay feels incredibly outdated. Want a modern day version of the classic Duke Nukem formula? Play Bulletstorm, not this disappointment.
LOOK ALL YOU DUMB STUPID REVIEWERS OUT THERE. IT’S A DUKE NUKEM GAME! ITS NOT COD OR HALO OR ANY OTHER SERIES. ITS A DUKE GAME, QUIT COMPARING IT TO OTHER GAMES OF NOW. YOU FORGET 3D REALMS IS WHAT LET THE GAME GO AND THE REASON IT TOOK FOR F#N EVER TO COME OUT. GEARBOX TOOK IT POLISHED IT UP AND MADE SOMTHING OUT OF IT. COMPARED TO DUKE 3D, GRAPHICS ARE FAR MORE SUPERB, AND LOOK TO BE JUST ON PAR WITH HALO AND COD LIKES OF GRAPHICS. THIS IS A DUKE GAME PERIOD, AND THATS WHAT YOUR GETTING, A NEXT GENERATION, NEW DUKE GAME FINALLY WITH AWESOME GRAPHICS. JUST LIKE THEY MAKE MILLIONS OF CODS AND CRAP LOADS OF HALO’S AND NINTENDO’S METROID. DUKE DESERVES THE RIGHT TO BE BROUGHT BACK IN TO THE GAME SPOTLIGHT AND TO HAVE HIS SERIES CONTINUED. FOR IF 3D REALMS NEVER DROP THE BALL ON THE GAME, THERE MOST LIKELY WOULD OF BEEN NUMEROUS DUKE GAMES IN BETWEEN. GEARBOX BROUGHT DUKE BACK TO LIFE, IN THE GAME COMMUNITY. WHAT YOU GET IS A ACTION PACKED, CHEW BUBBLE GUM-KICK ALIEN ASS AND TAKE NAMES LATER VIDEO GAME, LOADED WITH ONE LINERS, UP TO DATE GRAPHICS AND BABES OF THE DUKE WORLD WE ALL FANS OF DUKE GAMES LOVE. AND CLASSIC OLD SCHOOL SHOOT EM UP ACTION PACKED MULTIPLAYER.
English. You’re no good at it.
Anyways, you’re saying he shouldn’t be comparing it to games of the modern era even though its a modern game?
Oh, and the graphics better than Duke 3D? Wow, comparing it to a game that came out more than a decade ago. Hey, it also looks better than Clay Fighter on the SNES.
Wow, is all i havve to say that was the Best Review Ever. Fuck, these video game website should hire you for reviews. Mad Props
thanx man i needed that i was feeling like i blew away 100$ and im too young to have a job and i was getting that depressed feeling in my stomache but u reminded me why i pre ordered ballz of steal
These reviewers see the game getting famous and going to #1 and they have a fit! I don’t know what their problem is. It’s not like they are trying to help everyone. It’s like they WANT this game to fail so badly as they ride up and down on their COD dildo’s all night. I mean. I don’t get it! A game is an ART FORM, and every game is different. I’M SO GLAD THEY DON’T ALL LOOK LIKE COD OR HALO. OMG, I’ve played those, and I’m sick of them now! People should open their minds a bit and try new and different things. Not sit there with a sour face. Ever watch someone with a bad attitude try to watch a comedy? They pick everything apart? That”s what some idiots are doing with Duke. I’m gonna play this thing and enjoy myself. I already loved the demo.
Or maybe the game just fucking sucks? I played the demo it is just AWFUL! The only reason why people compare it to halo is because IT IS BASICALLY THE SAME FUCKING GAME! Now I know I can’t change your opinion, which sucks, but it seems like they did nothing innovative and just based their game off other popular shooters. They aren’t saying things like “oh COD does better at this and HALO does better at this…” They are saying that “Duke makes fun of other games in the same genre, but it deliberately copies these titles and calls it its own.” So get your head out of 1996 and join the era of new ideas and innovation.
sorry I made a wrong reply. I meant to reply to the PERSON WHO TYPES IN ALL CAPS FOR SOME REASON.
The thing about this game is that if it had just shooting like in DN3D, then it would get tedious and repetitive in the game market right now. I mean, DNF will be bad if you always say to yourself “It took 15 years, it better be the best game ever made!!!”. Quit being negative. The game is meant to be “fun”. I actually liked it alot. Its like a modernzied DN3D. Theres alot of interactivity and I know that the in the first hour, you don’t shoot many guns. Thats because the game is trying to “set the tone” so to say. DNF wasn’t meant to be a DN3D nostalgia trip, its a new game. If you want nostalgia, go play DN3D or wait for DN3D: Reloaded game to come out. Just saying.
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I don’t think he was trying to say it’s a shit game compared to DN3D, I think he’s trying to say it’s just a shit game…
The only thing wrong with that is that too many people have videos on youtube showing they LOVE the game and are having fun with it, me included.
POOF! There goes the “shit game” theory….
No that is what your saying.This is a comment thread, not high school. I’m not writting for a english exam.
You should only compare games to that of the series. If that is what it is, part of a series, like HALO 4 to previous halo’s when it is released and COD’s to previous COD”S. Madden to previous Madden’s
Otherwise your just comparing apples to oranges.
You did get one thing right though.
It is a “Modern Era” and it is a Modern Era Duke Nukem Forever Game.
The long absense is 3Drealms fault. Gearbox worked to bring it back to life.
True Duke Nukem Fans will Appreciate the game.
Duke is back, One Liners, Action packed, Alien Ass kicking, babes, better graphics, online shoot em up classic – old school Multi-player. Just what a Duke Game Should Be.
Wow, this review i think was expecting something like CoD or battlefield style. Seriously its DN, plus the loading screens take at most 10 seconds so idk wtf you talking about. It has great textures and models are very detailed. If you’re seriously expecting it to have CoD weapons and stuff like that then yea this game is not for you. Though I agree with some stuff on the review like no maps and stuff. Anyway i think this review its comming from somebody who is butthurt it wasn’t CoD or BF style.
Its funny how every negative review of an anticipated game is “wrong.” IGN, Joystiq and hell even the wallstreet journal are saying the same thing. Obviously something is wrong.
And its totally fair to compare it to other modern GPS games. They want to charge $60? It gets looked at just as the others. If you compare Duke Nukem to its last game, of course UT will be better.
The fanbois simply can’t put their fan side away to accept the truth.
I loved DN3, but this game is just bad. I mean, it’s really bad. I feel bad for anyone who waste 60 bucks on what feels like a half-way done homebrew game.
I was thinking that, kryptonite is a metaphor for vanity.. bear with me.. if you were truly invulnerable and super strong and get the girl and all that cool stuff, what is the one thing which could be your Achilles heal? vanity, self-love, hubris, arrogance = kryptonite??
Read more on: http://stardustchannel.com
This is duke nukem not cod or battlefield or any other shit this is probably one of the games that i have played in a while that actually play and feel like the classic shooters i thought that it was a fantastic game with no problems what so ever
I don’t understand why reviewers complain about the graphics. Duke Nukem Forever graphics look fine, just like in any modern game. What I don’t like about the look is the art direction which changes too much depending on the game section.
Another thing I don’t like about is that this is “Halo” not “Duke Nukem” when you engage in action. DNF also tries to be “Half-Life” at times. It works occasionally and occasionally doesn’t. Developers borrow a lot of stuff from others and sometimes that is executed extremely well but sometimes they fail miserably on doing it. There was maybe few turret sections too much or at least it should have been something else.
I pretty much like about everything else. Duke, the humor, graphics… Ok, I admit that NPCs and their voice acting is annoying. This game should have been in a development for at least one more year. But I guess this is the point where they just had to get it out so that they can start building another Duke game and get over with this.
“A man wakes up from a coma after almost 15 years. ”
This is where the piece of cow droppings of an article just fell apart, LOL. Sorry, but you sir are an idiot. If you say anything else negative I’m afraid I’m going to have to RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK! – That said, many of today’s games are rushed out the door and are currently junk! Sure some titles of today are good, but too many of them are COD clones! And THAT is BORING WITH A CAPITOL B! Duke represents THE FUN ERA OF GAMING! Not the un-fun. Duke is a game that is for mature audiences with an imagination. It also enjoys silly, scatological humor because humor isn’t something to take seriously.
I mean, I could write a big post, and support all the reasons, but what for. I think people are smart enough to see that DNF is a fun game. The OP, clearly missed the point of the game and has some mundane, stiff sense of humor. Who cares. Another thing I find amusing is that I predicted that Duke Nukem Forever would be the biggest target for journalists with wet dreams of something to knock down.
It’s funny how there are other games that are failures and no one really mentions them. But Duke Nukem? OMG, it’s everywhere! People really love it or are hate it and are scared it will sell a lot of copies. I don’t know why, but they are.
I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU SIR – But It’s #1 on Amazon in sales and has been for days now. I’m sure it scares the willies out of you “journalists” that so many people love the game. Too bad the writer of this blog doesn’t realize there’s room in the world for more than one type of game for us to enjoy. That said, I am ready to play Duke!
This game should of stayed vaporware.
It’s garbage and as a huge Duke fan, I’m embarassed to know this game will now forever go down in history as part of the series.
It’s like when Jordan came back for those final season with the Wizards and you saw him miss an open slam dunk. You just kinda lower your head and think “remember when he was the best ?”
That’s how I feel about this game. It’s probably the worse FPS to be released in the last 2-3 years. Tragic.
Wow. People think journalists actually want games to fail? Give it up fanboys, the game is a disapointment. And sales don’t matter, shit games sell too.
I dont get all the bad reviews on Duke Nukem Forever. At the end of the day its a f#cking video game. I found Duke 3D fun to play, and I never found the graphics for that time to be ground breaking.
I for one, like Duke Nukem forever, Im playing it now and own it. The multiplayer is a refreshing change to the mundane feel of the COD battlefields and halos that come out non stop for more money profits that have great repetitive multiplayer that gets old and a campaign that often falls short of expectations, and to what is shown in commercial.
I feel in DUKE NUKEM FOREVER, It’s campaign delivers and is fun and enjoyable. It’s not halo, It’s Not COD, Its a Duke game.
DUKE NUKEM GAMES ARE FOR THE FANS, AND MOST Likely if you never played a Duke Nukem game, You probably wont like it or get it or have nearly as much fun as you do with your non stop coming out one after another halo 1 2 3 4 and cod 12345 and battlefield games.
Duke is oldschool yes, its a classic.
a Throwback to Quake type games. If you want a Fun Action Packed Old School Classic Of a Game Then DUKE NUKEM FOREVER IS FOR YOU.
Graphics – 7/10
Gameplay – 10/10
Multiplayer – 8/10
DUKE NUKEM FOREVER – OVERALL RATING 8/10