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A Twilight review from an anti-Twilighter

About three things I am absolutely positive: first, I just saw Twilight. Second, there is a part of me - and I don't know how minuscule that part might be - that thinks it was almost okay. Third, it was unconditionally and irrevocably hilarious.
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A Twilight review from a pro-Twilighter

There was a lot of hype about making sure certain scenes were in the movie, or whether or not the characters were acted out properly or how director Catherine Hardwicke would be able to pull off making Edward's skin sparkle in the same beautiful way it was described in the book (which she didn't).