Seattle police recently released a note Kurt Cobain kept in his wallet that mocked his wife Courtney Love, twenty years after his infamous suicide.

The note calls Love a “bitch with zits” who stole Cobain’s money to buy drugs. This is in sharp contrast to his suicide note, in which Cobain called Love a “goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy.”

Cobain and his wife publicly had many issues at the time of his suicide, but this new note raises questions about Cobain’s true feelings toward his wife and the factors that were behind Cobain’s messy shotgun suicide.

In a shocking twist, it was revealed that Love wrote the note to Cobain herself. She gave it to him before their wedding in 1991 as one of many sarcastic notes that the couple allegedly wrote to each other.

Kurt Cobain is one of the most enigmatic and mysterious figures in popular culture. Revered by his fans, yet never fully understood by anybody, he struggled with many demons in life that would follow him up to the day he took an overdose of heroin and then put a shotgun to his head.

Whether for his role in Nirvana, or his infamous matrimony to Courtney Love, Cobain was constantly in the public eye. He harshly criticized fame in Nirvana’s music, even as his popularity grew. In an almost ironic twist, his suicide only served to immortalize him in history, turning him into a martyr for the grunge generation.

Much of the music in the 90s was created as a form of rebellion. Even the fashion was a grittier, simpler, more down-to-earth style. Rather than parade around the stage in spandex and sequins and lace, bands opted to wear t-shirts and jeans or cargo shorts and flannel. They didn’t want fame. They merely wanted to take their feelings, the feelings of an entire generation that didn’t know what to make of itself, and turn them into music.

Grunge music is a snapshot of a moment in time. The sounds are loud, the lyrics extremely dark and cynical, yet at the same time the music has a kind of insidious beauty that resonates with not only 90s kids, but also the youth of today. And I’m not talking about the random girl who decides to buy a Nirvana shirt at Forever 21 because she thinks it will make her look tough and edgy, I mean the kids who listen to Nevermind or Pearl Jam’s Ten and hear pieces of their souls in the songs.

And what about Kurt? It seems that no one will really know what went on in that chaotically brilliant mind of his, and the release of this note serves to only further confuse the situation. Even though it may have been Love who wrote the letter, it was Cobain who kept it in his wallet, presumably for a certain reason.

Courtesy of

Courtesy of

To Cobain fans, Love is a source of contempt and scorn- many people maintain that she helped push Cobain over the edge. But perhaps this note is a hint to the public that the relationship between Kurt and Courtney was and always will be a puzzling conundrum. There are layers to their relationship that no one will know, and maybe the truth of their feelings towards each other followed Cobain to the grave. Only one thing is certain: the public speculation is far from over. Maybe we will never know why Cobain bit the bullet, but as long as his music is alive, there will be those who will try to figure him out.

About The Author

Janine Eduljee is a Blast correspondent

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