Hi Neely,
I’m a 25-year-old guy dating a 32-year-old woman. We met, believe it or not, in line at a CVS. She’s a lawyer and very accomplished. I work in sales but am just starting out – I graduated from college a couple years ago. Perhaps my sales schtick helped me get her attention when we were in line together. We’ve been dating for 6 months now, and I’m really starting to fall for this woman. I’ve always been intrigued by older women – I love that they’re more sophisticated and secure (financially and emotionally) than younger girls that I’ve dated in the past. And while I feel I’m falling in love, I’m also not ready for marriage and certainly not children, but from certain things my girlfriend has said in passing, I can tell she may want to move along quicker. What do you think I should do? I don’t want to lose her but I also don’t want her to feel like she’s wasting time with me when she might be able to find a man who can give her what she needs in the next year or so.
Dating older woman, Boston
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Takeaways
- 30 seconds: Congrats on falling in love! It’s the best feeling in the world, but I understand why you’re conflicted.
- 48 seconds: Tip #1 – Tune in to hear what I have to say about choices and responsibility in this kind of a situation.
- 1:15: Tip #2 – Tune in to hear what I have to say about having a conversation with her about why you’re conflicted.
- 1:40: Tip #3 – My advice on how to look at your feelings and how to go from there.
- 2:25: Tip #4 – What you may (or may not) be feeling 6 months down the road and how that may change your perspective.
- 2:50: Tip #5 – Tune in to hear what I have to say about making compromises in relationships and how to decide if this is the road you want to or don’t want to take.
I agree with Neely! As always. The main thing I think is that women need to relax. even at 33. Unless her doctor somehow told her it’s a ticking time bomb and she better move along… then in that case, you have some information to set the stage for a qualified decision. Most of this – is on HER – but what’s on you equally or even more so is the need to communicate. Get on it. 🙂
I can speak from experience as the older woman… at least plenty of younger guys tried to date me when I was first single after my divorce at 35. Although in my situation, I didn’t WANT to have kids, but I wanted a relationship. So, in that sense it got in the way often, because I wanted the depth, with no desire to have more kids, but I knew most younger guys would eventually want kids. The difference? I chose not to even date younger guys because of it. You’ve got to discuss it with your lady and see what she’s really thinking and where she’s at. Period.