Hi Neely,

I started dating a guy a few months ago. Everything has been going well and I really like him, but just recently he interviewed for a job in NYC. If he gets it, he may very well decide to move there. I am sort of waiting to see if he gets an offer before talking about things, especially because we haven’t had the “relationship” conversation yet. I don’t know what to do, because I really like him but am not sure about doing the long distance thing. Plus, since we aren’t technically boyfriend-girlfriend, it’s an awkward conversation to have. What do you think?

Long-distance love, Boston

Submit your dating/relationship questions to [email protected]. And don’t forget to check out my Website: neelysteinberg.com.

Takeaway Points

  • 58 seconds: If someone you’ve been dating for a bit is moving far away and you want to be in a long-term relationship with him or her, you MUST have a conversation to see where you stand with that person. Don’t skirt the issue. And don’t let he or she leave without having the talk.
  • 1:08: Defining the relationship talks can be awkward but if one of you is moving far away that is the perfect excuse to broach the conversation.
  • 1:40: I’m not a huge fan of long-distance relationships, especially at the beginning stages of a relationship, but they CAN work.
  • 2:09: Three things to think about if you do get involved in a long-distance relationship. Tune in to see what they are!
  • 4:08: Long-distance relationships can work, but they take a lot of trust, communication, and effort. Also, consider my three tips. If it’s the right person, it’s totally worth giving it your all!

About The Author

Neely Steinberg is a Blast correspondent. Follow her on Twitter @NeelySteinberg She answers your dating/relationship questions in her Blast video advice column MP4 Love.

3 Responses

  1. Angie

    Neely you make some great points! I love your suggestion about committing to see each other. I think that is so important in long distance relationships especially as the time goes by. We often have a tendency to get complacent and not make it a priority because life just gets in the way. great article!

  2. Kelly

    You did make some great points Neely – for EVERY relationship, not just long distance ones.

    I’ve been in this situation too – I almost married the guy. The problem with long distance love is that a lot of the relationship is based on fantasy – not reality. You spend so much time thinking about how perfect he is and how great it will be the next time you get to see him; your heart skips a beat every time he calls or emails.

    When you do get together, neither one of you wants to spoil what precious little time you get to spend together, so you don’t bring up all the seemingly “little” things that bother you. – Again, fantasy. Not reality.

    Would I advise someone to never get into a long distance relationship? No, I know there are many who end up being happily married. But I think the reality is closer to many more women wasting years of their life pining away for a guy who is not quite right for them.

    My answer? If you are going to do this, go in with your eyes wide open. Go back to your list of your top 10 criteria for a life partner and your top 10 deal breakers – – does he match up? If yes, then move forward – cautiously, and with one foot at least planted firmly on the ground. If no – then he’s probably not going to change.


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