Hi Neely,
I’m always unsure about when I should have sex with a man for the first time. What are your thoughts on this?

First time sex, Boston

Takeaway points:

  • 56 seconds: Helen Fisher, famous anthropologist, says that no sex is causal. I agree.
  • 1:09: In my honest opinion, I don’t think many women are all that interested in or good at having casual, no-strings attached sex. Usually there are ulterior motives – it’s not just for purely physical reasons. And usually alcohol is involved.
  • 1:39: The questions to ask yourself to answer this question are: What are you looking for and how well do you know yourself? Tune in for more thoughts on why to ask yourself these questions.
  • 2:27: Women often sleep with someone to solidify a relationship. Doesn’t work this way. Women are often disappointed and hurt when man disappears.
  • 2:50: The one thing I say OVER and OVER to women. Tune in to find out what that is.
  • 3:10: If you’re the type of person that can have casual sex without getting hurt or disappointed and you’re not looking for anything serious, sleep with someone whenever you want…BUT BE SAFE!
  • 3:30: If you’re the type of person that doesn’t really enjoy casual sex and you’re looking for a long-term relationship, wait a few months with someone you’re dating. Tune in to find out why.
  • 4:22: Ask yourself the two aforementioned questions, be honest with yourself, and you’ll be in a better position to answer your own question.

Submit your dating/relationship questions to [email protected].

About The Author

Neely Steinberg is a Blast correspondent. Follow her on Twitter @NeelySteinberg She answers your dating/relationship questions in her Blast video advice column MP4 Love.

2 Responses

  1. Angie

    Neely, I completely agree. Most women are not capable of casual sex and have a hard time being able to identify when they are not. There is no harm in waiting, and two to three months is NOT a long time…. But you have to do what’s right for you. I know women who are totally capable of having sex without the attachment, and I know women who are not. Shrugs. It’s about knowing yourself and being honest with yourself like you said! Great video!


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