“Killer Elite” review

Sorry guys, the cast was great, the story was true, but “Killer Elite” was a snoozefest. It started slowly and it ended slowly. I literally had to fight to stay awake.

So we begin in middle-of-nowhere Mexico. Hitmen Danny (Jason Statham) and Hunter (Robert Deniro) are waiting for their target. They make an elaborate car bombing to take out their hit. Danny gets choked up when he sees a kid in the car, then gets hurt. He decides to leave the killing life for good. Meanwhile, Hunter still needs money, so he goes for another hit. He gets caught and used as leverage to get Danny back in the game.

Danny goes all over the world. The Middle East, England, France. All he has to do is track down and kill 3 British special agents that are responsible for other deaths. This is where it gets boring. There was too much planning, too much talk, and not enough action. I mean, come on! Director and writer Gary McKendry got three amazing action actors in one movie and nothing good happened. The most action packed scene in the movie was the opening. The cherry on top happened just after the opening explosion scene. Once it was wrapped up, a caption appeared at the bottom of the screen that said: “This is a true story.” I had to laugh.

With Deniro and Statham as he good guys, you probably guessed that Clive Owen is the bad guy. He’s an ex SAS. He is one of the members of a legion of doom of other ex SAS old men. Together, they take advantage of the British secrets act to try and maintain order. What order? I have no clue. They’re role isn’t really clear. All they did was kill some key people during a battle in the Middle East to gain control of an oil pipeline. But now, it’s not really clear what they do as old men.

The action was boring and calculated. There were really only about five real deaths, and none were creative or gut wrenching at all. Only one was at all interesting because there was a lot of planning. The premise for these deaths is that they have to look like an accident. With that in mind, Statham fashioned a mallet with bits of bathroom tile on it. Yeah…interesting. I’ll leave you with that image.

Other than that, “Killer Elite” was boring. I expect an R rated movie to have some R rated stuff. Appearantly, R to McKendry means mild violence and some blood. The only thing that can possibly classify this as an R movie was a little breast exposure. Not a sex scene, not a seedy stripper place, just a woman who lost her bikini top for one second. There’s another woman in the movie, but she seems thrown in. I guess Statham needed a gentle woman to teach him the value of life and family. She is a mild little love interest. If she were removed from the movie, no one would even notice.

The best scenes in the entire movie were with Robert Deniro. Unfortunately he was held hostage most of the time and we barely got to see him. But he was the only one who could get a rise from the audience. He won’t be marred by the horribleness of this movie. Deniro is always good. I love Statham too, but he might get a bit tarnished. And I barely even registered Clive Owen. This wasn’t his best.

I leave you with this thought. It’s not worth the money, unless you have trouble falling asleep. The commercials make “Killer Elite” look badass, but it was as dull as a letter opener. You can live a happy life without ever seeing this movie.