Four crackers stand the test of time: Saltines, Ritz, Club, and Town House.

And the silly thing is that I have always considered Town House the worst of the four. Saltines reign supreme for their simple goodness. The butter goodness of a Ritz can’t be topped, and the sturdiness of a Club Cracker makes it perfect for toppings and cheeses. I always saw the Town House as a poor mesh of the last two. The Town House butter flavor pales in comparison to the flavor and texture of a Ritz, and the Club cracker holds onto toppings, where a Town House will crack under any pressure.

Yes, I am a cracker snob.

Things are changing, for the Townhouse, however. See, the current “new black” in the cracker cuisine world has been to throw flavor combinations out there. Chocolate, pretzel, cinnamon, and even multiple flavors split between two sides of a cracker have appeared. Most of them are only worth a passing glance — and, to be fair, Kellogg’s/Keebler Town House brand has been the biggest culprit. There are Town House Pretzel Crackers, Toppers, Wheat crackers, Cheddar, Garlic, and two kinds of Multigrain branded crackers. Again, most are worth a try, but only that.

In walk these Town House Flatbread Crisps, with a big blue and yellow “NEW!” scrawled across the box. Whoa.

Whoa is all I can say, because they’re brilliant. They’re excellent.

Instead of rehashing an beloved yet overdone flavor like cinnamon or pretzel, Keebler went to the drawing board and created a bistro cracker with two entirely new flavors that please the pallet and do not overly enlarge the stomach.

The Italian Herb flavor blends onion, garlic, oregano, red pepper, and other flavors to create an almost “dry pizza” flavor without the fakeness of artificial tomato sauce or cheese. In fact, they go great with a slice of tomato and fresh mozzarella.

The Sea Salt & Olive Oil flavor has just the right amount of coarse salt offset by olive oil to make it taste like the bread dipping oil in a good Italian restaurant.

The crackers have virtually nothing in common with Town House crackers. They are not buttery, and are not the same shape or texture as a Town House. They also don’t break and crumble as easily as a Town House.

Here’s perhaps the best part: Flatbread Crisps have 70 calories per serving and only 2 grams of fat, with no saturated or trans fat.

The crackers are available in grocery stores for an average price of $3.99.

About The Author

John Guilfoil is the editor-in-chief of Blast: Boston's Online Magazine and the Blast Magazine Network. He can be reached at [email protected]. Tweet @johnguilfoil.

One Response

  1. Ralph

    Yea, these crackers aren’t good. I’ve tasted more appetizing stale bread, which is incidentally what they taste like. The flavor is so subtle its non-existant


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