- Taylor Swift: Best grace under fire
- Beyonce: Diva with the best video of all time!
- Lady Gaga: Most original resurger of pop music
- Kings of Leon: Best job at making a straight up rock and roll band with no gimmick cool again
- Miley Cyrus: Tween queen 2009
- Owl City: Best “what the fuck is this but we kind of like it”
- Cobra Starship: Best use of a cameo and catchy hook to make you famous
- Blink 182: Best reunion
- Drake: Most awesome transition from shitty teen drama to rap star ever
- Lil Wayne: Most money for being on songs that aren’t his (surpassing Lil Jon)
- Justin Bieber: Best “this would be adorable except you’re 12 so it makes me feel like a creep”
- Glee soundtrack: Best way to make covers totally awesome yet completely nerdy all at the same time
- Jay Sean: Best introduction of Bollywood flavor into American main stream
- Michael Jackson: Best comeback, it just sucks he had to die to do it
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