Will you please just get on with it already?

We get it. They’re in space. It’s dark. It’s a big freaking void.

But I’m so sick of the “Stargate Universe” crew facing imminent death at every foreseeable turn.

Can we start watching the show now? Please?

We’re three weeks and four episodes in, and they’re already recording the “Dear Home, If we die out there…” messages. They didn’t get to that until the end of the first season of “Atlantis.” Although we knew they would go there, because Brad Wright and company stopped writing new show ideas sometime around 2001.

I don’t mean to be bitter. I’m still glad that some semblance of Stargate is back on the air, even if it is just a semblance.

This week’s episode, “Darkness” felt too similar to the first three episodes. Maybe frustration is a good thing? I admit that I’m really looking forward to whatever enemy or actual plot will start to develop.

There’s also just — I never thought I’d actually say this — there’s too much sexual tension. It seems like any 10 characters are just going to drop down and bang at any given moment. Stargate Orgy, anyone?

We do have a genuine McKay/Zelenka between Rush and Volker.

Nothing else happened in this episode. They were dying before “Darkness,” and they’re still dying. They found some new planets, but now they might crash into the sun. They’re out of power. Etc.

“Darkness” could have been a 10 minute intro to a real episode.

Kinda waiting on one of those…

About The Author

John Guilfoil is the editor-in-chief of Blast: Boston's Online Magazine and the Blast Magazine Network. He can be reached at [email protected]. Tweet @johnguilfoil.

32 Responses

  1. Manuel


    I love Rush. Right now him, and Eli and Lou Diamond Phillips and the ‘captain limpy’ are the only ones that ‘feel’ like they belong in the SG:universe.


    So you’re already starting to fail from the get go. Then the first episode sets the bar super high, (hello, more sg1 stuff), now it’s just trying to distance itself, when it shouldn’t.

    BTW John, you know theres gonna be a virus outbreak that drives them crazy and has two people getting into sexual tension lameness.

  2. Adam J

    The show is about these characters and their struggle to survive, if you were expecting an overpowering cliché enemy to surface then prepare to be disappointed, the constant peril isn’t going to go away. This is a character drama, not a repackaged SG-1/Atlantis, it’s a completely different form of storytelling, so if tension doesn’t interest you then you might as well give up on the show now.

    ps. no main theme = win. They’re an outdated and unnecessary introduction that the show doesn’t need, just start the episode and get on with it already.

    • DemonCatcher

      Uh, no way dude. No main theme = me going to sleep halfway through an episode. Even if I miss half of the show, I’ll still know how it ends. They are still alive and still near death. Thats dull…its like hearing the same story over and over again from an alzheimers patient.

      When you stray too far from what made a show a hit, you have a failure. Why? Because your fan base that loved the goofy sci-fi show before. Part of what made Stargate a hit was the levity of the show. Now, scifi drama isnt bad… I liked Battle Star because it was a drama but not just character drama. There was one focused bad guy and they were not ALWAYS so close to death. So far, all we have seen is the same dull hallways of Destiny. Where are the away missions? The bad guys? Any scene other than destiny would be GREAT!

      We are 1/5th of the way through the season and we have yet to even get started on the true plot of the show. THEM FINDING A WAY HOME. If, and this isnt that big of an if, they only go one or two seasons then they better get this plot going fast. Who knows, maybe if they make it a bit more interesting they might run more than one or two seasons (but right now I’m betting it wont make it past season 1)

      NOT TO MENTION ALL THE PLOT HOLES! My god, at least pay some respect to the scifi science that was part of the old shows!

  3. mu

    But, Adam: unexpected arrival on a derelict Ancient vessel whose protective shields are failing is repackaged Atlantis. Sending teams to wander through dimly lit corridors full of wonders is repackaged Atlantis. Intimate, expositive video messages? See Atlantis episode 16, “Letters from Pegasus.” Atlantis’ premiere presented a “struggle to survive,” yet managed twice as much of a story in just two episodes.

    If the current generation of television sci-fi were not about twenty years old, entire episodes could each be devoted to a single aspect of the perils of spaceflight. As it is now, narrative clichés (“Life support is failing!”, “We’ve lost auxiliary power!”, “Helm is locked, heading is the sun!”) underlie interpersonal clichés (“You made your choice!”, “I don’t trust [you/him/her]!”, “Aw, man, I shouldn’ta been here in the first place!”). Rip Van Winkle, I suppose, would love Stargate: Universe.

    • stephen gibson

      I agree totally. For someone accustomed to the thrill of SG1 and Atlantis, Stargate Universe is downright boring. The writers don’t show the “Stargate” imagination. If things dont change with the next episode i’m going to helping my wife clean out the kitty litter or something.

  4. Joe

    It looks like this show is starting out much like Lost did in its first season. The basic theme of the first season will likely be survival. Thrown into a precarious situation, having to get used to new surroundings, learning where to get supplies, trusting in the foresight of the ancients who created the ship… I think the parallels are there. A meta-narrative for the show hasn’t emerged yet, but it will.

  5. Di

    The show is more like Battlestar Gallactica than Stargate. The only difference is Gallactica had some decent action. You could switch off every 5 minutes and still see the same thing. There is nothing original about this show. The word boring comes to mind. I will watch another few episodes to see if things improve then its Stargate black hole for me.

  6. Peanut

    This show is incredibly boring. I’m not complaining about the pace or the serialized style either; I enjoyed BSG, Lost, B5, The Wire, and other shows that frequently burned slow. The problem with Universe is that the characters are dull and cliched. Angry black man, angry traitorous scientist, soldier with a screwed-up past, little rich girl who lost her daddy and needs men for comfort, soldier who’s in over her head, chubby geek genius. I couldn’t give an eff about any of them.

  7. Manuel

    lol I agree with PEANUT, DI, and mu.

    (@Adam J: Intro songs are not outdated. It took SG:1 Nine years to ‘summarize’ their main theme. At least LOST has it within the show constantly. But Uni doesn’t have it at the beginning and has barely a soundtrack during the show itself. We need a theme that ties it together for the fans. ALTHOUGH, I am willing to except that it has no Main Theme.)

    I will go out on a limb and say that they are trying for a new direction in the way Stargate stories are told. I appreciate that; but ease into it a bit by giving us more old SG-1 people, to soften the blow. (frankly I’m just waiting for more Cameos in the slow parts)

  8. Michael Dubin

    Stargate Universe makes me ask, ‘What has happened to sci-fi?’.
    As a boy I turned to sci-fi, (mainly books), to get away from the more traditional stories which contained boring things, (particularly to a young boy), like love, romance, relationships, etc.
    Stargate Universe must be the worst example of how sci-fi has changed.
    It seems that many of us are now asking, ‘When will it start?’
    The story has been dragged out by repeated ‘ET phone home’ video sequences, sexual encounters, and similar dross: A potentially good story, wasted by bad storytelling.
    Is it worth watching?
    Not if it carries on like this. Although Robert Carlyle does make it more bearable.
    Most people watching will be long time Stargate fans: Stargate Universe should test their loyalty.

  9. Braky

    Putting SG Universe alongside SG Atlantis there is no contest. SGA had suspense, introduced both new allies and enemies, the main characters were captured, rescued and a whole quest was starting to unfold. There was the “ok were still alive” like SGU is focusing on, but total dread for what might happen in te future. Remember the Wraith queen “When I die the others will awake, ALL OF THEM” How can you take 5 (or more) episodes to get to the ship and get it up and running, I feel like it is eventually going to be like sliders where they have a limited time at a planet, overcoming an obstacle or situation before going into hyperspace to a new random planet. Oh and I hate that they have a communication device back to Earth but are recording dumb messages for posterity hoping someone will someday find it, did I miss something?

  10. Jean

    To think they cancelled Atlantis for this is beyond words. SG1 was a beginning SGA another direction into a world we always dreamed about but also wondered.
    SGU is boring and really a true waste of time, to the point even the actors seem bored so how are we, the viewers to feel compelled to go on the journey.
    They really should of kept Atlantis on line for at least a year before letting them go. Maybe the connection of Atlantis trying to find the SGU team would be interesting. The whole storyline and acting is really an insult to a true lover of Scifi. Oh and the change on the logo for the SciFi Channel is also an insult to ones intelligent.

    • DemonCatcher

      I agree… I think we should all call SyFy SighFy from now on because thats the sound most of the viewers make when they see their latest dribble.

      Warehouse 13 wasnt a bad show…I’ll give them that. But this new SGU is toilet floaters. Needs to be flushed. Its like they took all the drama scenes from BSG and cut them all into one dull, lame new show.

    • sgakaz s

      In fact Atlantis could go and rescue them, the way Atlantis finished it go, pick the up, take them home, the end then back to having Atlantis back on air.

  11. DemonCatcher

    The released names for the episodes from the first season.

    The title pretty much gives away what the episode is about. Doesnt paint a pretty picture for anyone who hoped the show would get better… at least I dont think it does.

    Air Part 1 – Nerds at a base are forced to evac to an unknown location which starts the show. *See note at bottom.
    Air Part 2 – They arrive on Destiny and find they are screwed. Running out of air, Death seems likely.
    Air Part 3 – They find some dirt and use it to breath. Yay for dirt. *See note at bottom
    Darkness – Ship runs out of power and everyone thinks they are going to die.
    Light – The ship gets some power from the universes greatest light source. *See notes on light at bottom.
    Water – Gee, I wonder what they do in this episode. Get water maybe? death from dehydration
    Earth – Most people use the stones to talk to earth. Lame. Too much drama…ZZzzZZzzZzz

    -from this point on, the plots are my guess but chances are, a good guess. We shall see-

    time – Likely Rush finds a way to pause or extend the count down timer for the stargate when death seems likely.
    Life – Perhaps they grow food or find new alien life. Death insues.
    Justice – One of the military men who has been stealing food or not following orders gets his punishment.
    Space – They go for a space walk to repair the ship. Perhaps one of them gets knocked off. Death.
    Divided – The crew is divided by some situation.
    Faith – Clearly, faith plays a role here. Perhaps after someone dies.
    Human – They either find humans or explain what humans are to another race that has never seen a human.
    Lost – The crew members that are lost on the 2nd episode show up again OR the crew of the destiny
    Sabotage – The military crew who was served his justice sabotages the ship. More death…
    Pain – Dealing with the issues from Sabotage. More drawn out drama. Death death and more death.
    Subversion – (another word for sabotage) Clearly dealing with the same issue as the last two episopdes…. Death
    Incursion Part 1 – An alien force invades the ship. Death…
    Incursion Part 2 – The crew fights back and kicks the alien force out.

    _ Notes from above_

    Air Part 1.
    -The Hammond is a much more powerful ship than a fleet of motherships. How could they be forced to run?
    -Destiny is a faster than hyperdrive ship. If this technology existed before Atlantis then why didnt Atlantis or any of the newer ancient ships have this technology? why didnt we see any Keno Balls in previous Stargates?

    Air Part 3.
    -They never really cleared up what happened to the two lost crew members who took the chance on going to the other worlds. No one cares that they are gone?
    -What was the pod that split off from the Destiny at the end of the episode? They snuck it in there for a reason. What was it?

    Light – If the Destiny can be powered by a sun then why did the ancients have to use ZPMs on their newer ships? That seems silly. Thats like switching from nuclear power back to coal.

    • danijelnik

      “Incursion Part 1 – An alien force invades the ship. Death…
      Incursion Part 2 – The crew fights back and kicks the alien force out.”

      So, we will see some alien enemies at last?


      Hope so…

  12. SGUFAN

    I think you all have valid points but I personally love the show even with all the plot holes and drawn out story lines. I’m just happy that the SG series is back and some way shape or form. I just want to see it continue and hope it continues to improve.

  13. SGUFAN

    I think you all have valid points but I personally love the show even with all the plot holes and drawn out story lines. I’m just happy that the SG series is back and some way shape or form. I just want to see it continue and improve.

  14. Chris

    My take….they’re trying to be ‘hip and edgy’, like some of the dramas on the wb (cw, or whatever its calling itself nowdays.) Whats ironic is that episode 200 of SG1 foreshadowed this. Remember the scene where they talked about making the show dark and edgy with a young cast?

    (Tealc starts talkin all gangsta to Jack when he’s near a female gou’ald and says ‘hell yea dawg, i’ma cap her but i still wanted to tap dat azz first) or something like that, lol.

    The lack of a theme and some sort of action-esque enemy is kinda boring to me. This reminds me of new coke. They need to stick to the formula that made them great instead of trying to do a 180.

    Now what COULD save this show is if they threw some distantly displaced Gou’ald in there. It’d be great to see the classic enemy again.

    The only character that seems REALLY SG’ish to me is Eli, because he’s like a real freakin person, with a SENSE OF HUMOR and some wit and a personality. The crazy doctor is up there too.

  15. Tom

    just watched ep 6 and.. OMG… It really doesn’t get better… This must be the most boring Sci-Fi show ever. It even makes Defying Gravity look good…

  16. Mike

    A-freakin-men! So old after already after only a few episodes. And now that they’ve flown through the sun shouldn’t they have enough power to dial earth????

  17. brendan

    remember when we had a badass with a heart of gold leader, a supernerd we can all relate to, a super-sexy yet fiesty chic, and an alien who draws on his own oppressed culture… i guess that made a good combination in sg1 and atlantis… but for gods sake, civillians taking into a diary room camera about their feelings, a video game playing nerd who overnight became an expert in ancient, the bloody dirt marks around the ‘keno’ [somebody should really clean that thing… ] , and whats with the stargate suddenly showing a visible effect when theres a time dilation?
    seriously… it’s turning into big brother meets the gilmore girls with some pratts meloncholie ipod playlist playing in the background. they’d want to get their shit together very soon, or at the very least, macgyver should distance himself from it if it keeps going the way it is.

  18. Ken Jason

    Talk about alienating your fanbase

    Stargate universe is worse than Galactica. The stories are poor, the characters unlikeable. In fact the producers have so much run out of ideas, that they have characters continuously returning to earth. Instead of saving the Universe we see these characters carrying on lesbian affairs and the like

    PLEASE dont let there be a second series, resurrect Stargate Atlantis or SG1. At the moment Stargate is is crashing and burning!

  19. Di

    Days of our lives eat your heart out, the soaps have gone “Universe al”
    The only similarity this crap has to the Stargate franchise is the first name.
    Please please put us out of our misery and ressurect Atlantis.

  20. reighost

    For me i think that SGU should have been a footnote or a passing mention during the series itself or MAYBE a movie.
    The whole thing is so boring its like a B-rated version of stargate. like the producers didnt have the money to hire technicians or storywriters. The only thing that makes this a part of the stargate world is the presence of stargates and calling the ship ‘ancient’ in design.
    Rush is the coolest character though…

  21. Roland

    Stargate Universe Watched a few episodes, but i have to say the show is really f*cking boring!

  22. Cookie

    BORING! It’s not terrible but the show is so predictable and each episode goes nowhere. I can’t seem to like any of the characters, except that geek with the red shirt. TOO much soap drama – wat too much.

    Where is the brilliant humour that SG-1 and SGA gave us? This is not Stargate – just because they stick on some jack O’Neill moments, doesn’t make it Stargate.

    This BSG raping Stargate!

    No aliens to fight or fear. ONly conflict is them shouting at each other for stupid reasons that is basically playground stuff.

    The whole Young and his wife and Telford made me laugh so much.

    This is so sad. I LOVE Stargate and this new show makes me want to cry.

    Brad and RObert have huge egos and I believe they want to be taken seriously in the world of TV and so they wanted to make a show that was dark and intense but instead, they are making Eastenders in space. lol. Shame. Such a waste of such a brilliant concept.

    The dialogue is so weak and laughable sometimes. Having watched Stargate countless times, I can now predict the story lines before the episode even passes 10min. They have no new ways of developing characters or plots which is another reason why I drift off half the time.


  23. japlha

    SGU. What can I say? I’m glad I have a PVR. The censor warning needs to read “This program contains scenes of extreme graphic emotionalism which may cause rolling of eyes to back of head. Viewer discretion is advised”.

    Get your finger on that fast forward button!
    I’ve fast forwarded multiple times in some episodes to get through the long drawn out “feely”, “touchy” drivel. Please don’t waste my time with this. However, to be fair, I have also paused or rewinded for an equal amount of time when Julia Benson or Alaina Huffman brightens the screen. I suggest more scenes with each of these beauties in place of the heart wrenching mini epics.

    I get it, we all get it. Everyone in SGU have deep 3D characteristics. We don’t even need those cool 3D glasses to see it. All have faced, are facing and will face complex personal issues that I can relate to. I feel a true bond with the characters. I will watch the show because it touches me on a personal level. Mr Brad Wright and Mr Robert Cooper you’ve done it. We are all touched emotionally to the darkest depths of our bowels.

    NOW BRING ON THE ALIENS! Let’s see some cool weapons, technology, explosions and mano-a-alieno action. Perhaps a powerful alien species bent on the destruction or subjugation of all free politically correct humans and aliens? I haven’t even heard any techno-babel like “the warp-fusion reactor needs an inverse flux capacitor”. Bring back those elements of what makes sci-fi great. My life is filled with enough drama. I don’t need to see a repeat of it on a space ship billions of light years from earth.

    The series has potential. Robert Carlyle’s character is great. It’s what the show needs more of. A character that is put in life threatening situations but faces them head on with his genius. He doesn’t whine about how home sick he is. He does what he thinks is right and everyone else be damned.

    I am hesitant but optimistic of future episodes. For some reason I really want to like this series. I want it to be successful.

    Less crying and whining more entertaining please.

  24. Fernando

    I thought I`d get some of the good stuff that made the stargate franchise so successful: likeable characters, good story and lots of action and special effects btu stargate universe has none of them…therefore it`s making the franchise lose its fan base ! hello??? it`s just sooo boring and full of unnecessary drama and sexual tension ! please ! give us a break and cancel this show… bring back Stargate Atlantis….

  25. Spirity

    The show is tuned towards women with its psycological drama shit, yet no women watches sci-fi = FAIL!


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