It was an innocent errand, a friend and I were wandering the grocery store looking for two specific items.‚ I had spent a good 20 minutes doing laps through every aisle, carrying a cantaloupe in my hands, looking for this item.‚
I know that grocery stores are designed such that customers spend as much time possible in them — the more time to notice some item you had no intention of buying, but with that clever display, suddenly it’s a necessity.‚ Usually I win.‚ This time, the marketing won.
The cantaloupe was getting heavy, and shedding tiny bits of its rind onto my shirt.‚ We just needed one more thing before we could escape the maze of Albertson’s.‚ Escape was on my mind.‚ Then I saw this:
The drink is called “Vacation in a Bottle”!‚ The palm trees!‚ “Happy” and ‚ “Relaxation” printed in bright, friendly letters at the top of a sleek aluminum bottle.‚ No stress about polluting with a plastic bottle.‚ Also in friendly letters, no caffeine and very little sugar in the drink.‚ No stress about polluting my body and mind with stimulants.‚ This drink is what stressed out Americans have been waiting for!!!
It was two for $4, so my friend and I each got a can.
My friend had Pomegranate Berry and I had Mango Lime.‚ ‚ I opened mine as soon as I got in the car.‚ Fizzy.‚ Tastes‚ familiar . . . like something I had a long time ago . . . reminds me of swimming in our pool . . . summer‚ barbecues . . . KOOL-AID!‚ It’s carbonated Kool-Aid!‚ Green flavor, to be exact.‚ The Pomegranate Berry tasted purple.
Feeling a little sheepish that I fell for such obvious gimmicks, I couldn’t help but admire the anonymous marketers who‚ took advantage of me.‚ I have noticed, as many others have, the prevalence of energy drinks in their fancy black cans with neon streaks.‚ Those black cans are intimidating.
Someone agreed with me and decided to make a more accessible drink, though I agree with this reviewer that the bottle design looks amateurish.‚ But why go through all the trouble of inventing a new drink, when you could just take Kool-Aid, add club soda and repackage it?
Fool me once ViB, but you won’t fool me twice.‚ I’m not drinking this Kool-Aid.