Tom Cruise’s Blackberry has been abducted by aliens.

Or at least, that’s one theory.

The Scientology star’s little black device went missing this afternoon after a taping of Entertainment Tonight Canada in Toronto. Cruise is visiting our neighbors to the north to promote his new‚ World War II thriller,‚ “Valkyrie.” Hollyscoop reports:

After he left the studio, his people called and asked if anyone had found a phone, but no such luck.

“A search was done, but, nada,” National Post columnist Shinan Govani reports.

Why doesn’t he just use the power of Xenu to summon it? Duh.

About The Author

Gaby Dunn is a journalist, comedian, and a boatload of other stuff. The 2009 Emerson College graduate lives in New York.

2 Responses

  1. des

    well sorta gotta be in scientology to enjoy this sarcasm see: citizens commission on human rights and the way to happiness too ok

  2. liz

    Not really des, nobody needs to be a $cientologist to get a kick out of the xenu nonsense. It’s all on wikileaks and nobody has to pay one thin dime to access that nonsense anymore. Yes, CCHR is a front group for the cult and “the way to happiness” says a whole lot of nothing about what the cult is REALLY about.
    You can visit XENU.NET for the truth about who they really are – you won’t find answers on any of the cult’s sites, just vague “feel good” comments and infomercial-style testimonials.


Leave a Reply