Despite the many weeks, months, that‚ Twilight‚ mania has engulfed the media it seems a countless number of people are still oblivious to this latest teen craze.‚ How is this possible?
Twilight ‚ is EVERYWHERE – there are posters at bus stops, book stores, cinemas and even on the back of public toilet doors (I kid you not).‚ Every day I see more and more hardcore “Twilighter’s” obsessively scanning the pages of one of the four books, sighing wistfully as they dream of being saved from a sadistic vampire by Edward Cullen.
Flick through any entertainment/film/teen magazine and chances are you’ll find a‚ Twilight‚ article more often than not accompanied by a photograph of Robert Pattinson doing what he does best – brooding.
So how can anyone truthfully say,‚ “Twilight? Never heard of it.”
I have become so used to declaring my allegiance to Team Edward and having friends automatically a) nod in agreement or b) hiss, pronounce me mentally unwell and then expound upon the virtues of Team Jacob, that to have others employ the hitherto unknown option c) stare back at me blankly, has come as quite a shock.
What is most frustrating, are those people who are completely unaware of the‚ Twilight‚ phenomenon but automatically hate it, simply because it is both popular and mainstream. (See Exhibit A).‚ ‚
The following conversation I had with two of my anti-Twilight‚ friends who, I can only assume, have been living under a rock for the past couple of months.
Friend 1: Have you heard about these‚ Twilight‚ books?
Me: Oh my god, yes I love them.
Friend 1: Urghh, my sister keeps going on and on about them. What are they even about?
Friend 2: (Interjects) I think they’re supposed to be kids’ books like Harry Potter.
Me: Geez, you guys know nothing! They’re a young adult series about….umm…well
Friend 1 &2:‚ ‚ Speculative glances
Me: Okay look the important thing is not to judge the books when I tell you the premise. I thought it sounded lame too until I actually read them. They’re really addictive.
Friend 1: Okay…
Me: Well,‚ Twilight‚ is sort of a romance story about a teenage girl….and a vampire…..
Friend 1:‚ Groans
Friend 2:‚ Snickers
Me: And it’s set in high school.
Friend 1 & 2:‚ Exchange a glance that indicates both extreme incredulity and concerns for my sanity.
Me: No, hear me out!‚ Twilight‚ is not like other vampire novels. These vampires don’t have fangs or anything.‚ ‚ So basically the girl, Bella, falls in love with Edward Cullen, who is pretty much the perfect guy. He also just happens to be a vampire. But even though he loves her too, a part of him always wants to drink her blood and so…
Friend 2: (Cuts me off) Don’t bother. You lost me at “vampires.”
Friend 1: You lost me at “romance.”
Me: (sulkily) You should probably know this though. When the film is released it’s going to be big*. And every teenage girl will be going nuts for Edward. They already are in the US.
Friend 2: Oh god no! Please tell me they’re not making a film! I hate those pissweak film franchises.
Friend 1: Who’s in it?
Me: Well, Robert Pattinson is playing Edward.
Friend 1: Who?
Me: The hot guy who played Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter film.
Friend 1& 2: ………..
Me: Okay, never mind.
What have I learnt from this experience? I need to trade these two friends in for a new pair that are more‚ Twilight-friendly.
*Twilight is released in Australia on Dec 11. Like nearly everything made in Hollywood it takes anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months to reach Australian shores. Maybe films are transported from Los Angeles to Sydney via carrier pigeon!