“Brooklyn” was unfortunately taken.

E! reports that Ashlee Simpson finally gave birth to the long-awaited spawn of Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz. The baby boy’s name is being reported as Bronx Mowgli Wentz, giving him the tacky as hell initials “B.M.W.”

The child may have been named after where he was concieved which I’m sure will make for great Thanksgiving dinner conversation right after the one about Mommy’s lip-synching fiasco and that time Daddy put his penis on the internet.

Skeptics and Wentz-enthusiasts maintain, however,‚ that Wentz, who‚ was born‚ the boring “Peter Wentz III,”‚ likes to screw with the media and just might be‚ monkeying around‚ about this atrocious moniker.

Let’s hope so. The kid has enough on his plate without having to outwit the King of Apes and‚ battle fire-fearing tigers.

About The Author

Gaby Dunn is a journalist, comedian, and a boatload of other stuff. The 2009 Emerson College graduate lives in New York.

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