Jacob Black is perhaps the funniest of all of the Twilight characters, and his and Rosalie’s verbal sparring in “Breaking Dawn” is a perfect example of that. In honor of its humor, Blast has picked out our top 10 favorite Jacob and Rosalie moments from “Breaking Dawn”. These scenes are only taken from book two as it was from Jacob’s perspective and far more cynical because of that. Feel free to post your own favorite Jacob/ Rosalie moments, but remember, this article is our opinion only.

10 – “Breaking Dawn” page 278

I groaned and opened my eyes. The skies were dull gray — it was daytime, but no clue as to when. Maybe close to sunset — it was pretty dark.

“About time,” Blondie mumbled from not too far away. “The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired.”

9 – “Breaking Dawn” page 186

“We’re going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately,” Edward said. […]

“Over my pile of ashes,” Rosalie hissed at him.

8 – “Breaking Dawn” page 178

“So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into jigsaw and take care of Bella.”

7 – “Breaking Dawn” page 247

“You’re scared of Leah, but you’re best buds with the psychopathic blonde?”

There was a low hiss from the second floor. Cool, she’d heard me.

6 – “Breaking Dawn” page 295

“Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?” I asked, and then continued on the same breath, “a golden retriever.”

“I’ve heard that one, too,” she said, no longer smiling.

“I’ll keep trying,” I promised […].

5 – “Breaking Dawn” page 294

“Enjoy, mongrel.”

It had once probably been a big mixing bowl, but she’d bent the bowl back in on itself until it was shaped almost exactly like a dog dish. I had to be impressed with her quick craftsmanship. And her attention to detail. She’d scratched the word Fido into the side. Excellent handwriting.

4 – “Breaking Dawn” page 294

“Rosalie, why don’t you get Jacob something from the kitchen?” Alice said. […]

Rosalie stared at the place Alice’s voice had come from in disbelief.

“Thanks, anyways, Alice, but I don’t think I’d want to eat something Blondie’s spit in. I’d bet my system wouldn’t take too kindly to venom.”

“Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality.”

“Of course not,” Blondie said in a sugar-sweet voice that I immediately distrusted. She got up and breezed out of the room.

Edward sighed.

“You’d tell me if she poisoned it, right?” I asked.

3 – “Breaking Dawn” page 271

“You know how to drown a blonde, Rosalie?” I asked without stopping or turning to look at her. “Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.” […]

“I’ve already heard that one,” Rosalie called after me.

2 – “Breaking Dawn” page 324

“Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde’s brain cells die?”

She didn’t say anything.

“Well?” I asked. “Do you know the punch line or not?”

She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.

“Has she heard it?” I asked Edward.

There was no humor in his tense face — he didn’t move his eyes from Bella. But he said, “No.”

“Awesome. So you’ll enjoy this, bloodsucker — a blonde’s brain cells die alone.”

Rosalie still didn’t look at me. “I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Remember that.”

1 – “Breaking Dawn” page 304

Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of my wrist, I threw it into the back of Blondie’s head so hard that — with an earsplitting bang — it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs. […]

“Dumb blonde,” I muttered.

Rosalie turned her head slowly, and her eyes were blazing.

“You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.”

Blast does not own “Breaking Dawn” or any other of Stephenie Meyer’s works.

About The Author

Terri Schwartz was a Blast Contributing Editor from 2008-2009.

30 Responses

  1. ANNE


  2. Savannah

    Haha That was my #1 too! “You.Got.Food.In.My.Hair.” Favorite part in the whole book.

  3. Laura

    The photo that accompanies the article is interesting. Especially since the blonde isn’t Nikki Reed who actually plays Rosalie in the movie.

    I have no idea who the blonde in your photo is, but it’s no one who is on any way connected to Twilight.

  4. ELY

    Amazing each quote made me like Jacob for telling Rosalie all the those things

  5. nyx

    if I didn’t know any better, i’d think there’s some sexual tension….haha….i love these moments

  6. Mrs. Edward Cullen

    I do agree, Jacob is the funniest character in the book. I was on the floor laughing when jacob threw the bowl at rosalie’s head…..lol…..classic 🙂

  7. Medea

    roflmao!!!GO jacob!*cheers* I’m still thinking of dumb blonde jokes that rosalie has’nt heard of yet!


    I love Edward but Jacob is really funny. I like
    Edward’s going to end up ripping Rosalie to peices,but maybe she thinks Emmett will stop him.”,Alice said.
    You can help with the ripping part,I’ll take care of Emmett, I said(Jacob)

  9. Lilora

    I loved so much readig Book 2 in Breaking Dawn. Jacob is soooo funny! XD
    and the jokes about Rosalie and everything between them was just hilarious!

  10. Kyra Ford

    i think that the whole series is super cool and i am just in love with jacob black and edward cullen i love them!!!! :)) :))


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