Editor’s note: I’m running this story because our sports duo of Micah and Perry is from Philly, and sometimes they need to be taken down a peg. — John

From our Posterboy sports blog:

If you have ever been down to Strip District and walked into Wholey’s, you know that the owner definitely doesn’t give a shit. Don’t get me wrong, you get the best and freshest seafood, (which is saying something for the city of Pittsburgh because it’s not exactly near the ocean) but they hack it up and dish it out right in front of your face. And now the owner of Wholey’s will be refusing to sell any octopi to Red Wing fans for fear of them throwing it on the ice at the Mellon Arena. From the countless songs to beer specials for shitting on Sienna Miller, Pittsburghers think a little bit differently than other sports fans and Mr. Wholey is just one more example. Here are a few reasons why Pittsburgh is better than some other sports towns:

Philadelphia: Pittsburghers only boo guys named Kordell Stewart.

Boston: Pittsburghers aren’t self-loathing and don’t want to slit their wrists after every loss.

New York: Pittsburgh news outlets do not report anything bad about the athletes, and lead broadcasts with player vacations to their homeland.

Dallas: Pittsburgh teams have a little respect for the game rather than bringing in guys like T.O. and Pac Man. Also, three more words, No Jerry Jones.

Oakland: Do not dress up like the Legion of Doom or have an owner that resembles a character from a movie based on a Roald Dahl book.

Baltimore: Pittsburgh has a hockey team, a quarterback and a football team that isn’t purple.

Cleveland: Pittsburgh has won a title in the past 50 years, and doesn’t lose franchises.

Everyone else: Jesus is on Pittsburgh’s side.

Jesus rocks the Terrible Towel

About The Author

Bill "Posterboy" Palmer is a Blast Magazine staff writer. He blogs at Posterboy.

10 Responses

  1. Chad

    As a Dallas fan I must disagree with your perception of the Cowboys. Unlike many other teams the Cowboys seem to be able to make players happy. When players are happy they won’t destroy a team by complaining and killing a team with their off the field problems. I believe that if Pac Man is allowed to play football again he won’t get in any more problems off the field. Jerry Jones, in my opinion, is one of, if not the best, owner in the NFL. Players seem to like to play for him. Also, we respect the game by winning Superbowls. Don’t worry, I realize that the Steelers have won many Superbowls also.

  2. Posterboy

    I’ll give you that guys like to play for him, but I would love for you to give me some examples as to how he is respected by the other owners. Also, rarely do his players show him the courtesy to stay out of trouble, and there is no need to go over that list.

    As for the second comment, thanks for telling me that teams lose games, good point.

  3. John Rocker

    Steelers fans are great. Some of the best in the league. I can’t argue that. However, it ends there.

    Let’s talk about the Pittsburgh Penguins. This is an organization that filed for Chapter 11 (bankruptcy) in 1998 and has faced numerous relocation issues in the 1980s and most recently in the 2006 and 2007 seasons because they weren’t getting any returns on their investments. Why? Because hockey fans are non existent in Pittsburgh unless their is a legitimate contender playing in front of them. Penguins’ attendance has been absolutely horrible and was even dead last in the NHL in 2003-04 season. If it wasn’t for Mario Lemieux and the local government, Pittsburgh would not have an NHL team.

    What’s your basketball team’s name again?

    Let’s talk about the Pittsburgh Pirates. They opened up PNC Park for the 2001 season and they were still under the average for NL teams in attendance. Since then, attendance has been horrible and they have been at the bottom of the league for the past six years. Out of 30 teams this has been their rank since opening up PNC Park. 2002 (18), 2003 (17), 2004 (23), 2005 (21), 2006 (18), 2007 (23), & 2008 (28).

    Pittsburgh Steelers fans are great, but it ends there. Pittsburgh is a football town. Nothing more, nothing less. This is a second, possibly third tier sports fan city. Pittsburgh fans can’t be compared to (or mention in the same sentence) as Boston fans, New York fans, Oakland fans, Dallas fans, Cleveland fans or Philadelphia fans.

    Pittsburgh fans are similar to Baltimore fans. Maybe Kansas City fans. And teams out West where fans are more casual.

  4. Posterboy

    To start off with this last comment, I’m not going to take the pussy way out of this and throw out the history and tradition argument because that is not the issue. I just want to say that comments such as these are boring and make me want to not dignify them with a response. Yeah, a lot of the things you said are true, but have a few Iron City’s and take it easy. There were a lot of comments that would have been legitimate. Here are some possible rebuttalsthat I would have respected.

    From a Boston fan
    We care more about our sports teams than your mother cares about you, plus we get twice as drunk. Jealous?

    From a New York fan
    Our local media does not include the weirdest voice in sports, Beano Cook. (however, Beano is my favorite member of the media establishment)

    From an Oakland fan
    We may have a different look but we will haunt your dreams worse than Sid Bream

    From a Dallas fan
    We have a football team with cheerleaders, have fun whacking off to Steely McBeam

    From a Cleveland
    You know you wish you were a “witness”

    From a Philadelphia fan
    Just be happy we allow you to be a part of this state

    Man, I just sounded like Eminem from the final battle in 8 Mile, “tell these people something they don’t know about me”

  5. Ben Y.

    Interesting read. The 8 Mile reference was pretty funny, but it should be noted that Eminem trashed himself BEFORE Clarence had a chance to rip him. John Rocker already ripped your argument to shreds.

    John Rocker did bring up some good points. Pittsburg is a football town. That is not a bad thing, but it is different than being a sports town. The Pirates have one of the nicest stadiums in baseball, yet they are one of the worst in attendence.

    If you were just trying to say in a joking manner that Pittsburg has some things going for its sports… great. If you are actually trying to argue that it is a better sports town than the others listed (except for Baltimore and maybe Cleveland)… you are a blind homer that needs to put the bong down before typing a post.

  6. Micah Warren

    Did anyone make the argument yet that 215 is simply a better area code to have than 412? If not, someone should. Dallas’ 214 is a joke of an area code that falls one short of being the best. 617? Lived there for four and half years and it was torture. I was made fun of constantly.

  7. Posterboy

    First off, I probably had a few too many High Life’s when writing that response. I just want to remind you that this was a blog post, not an article and I was not trying to be accurate in any way. My goal was to remind people from these other sports towns of how they are viewed.
    Since this was a blog post I would like to get comments back that at least try to be funny or blunt. Use the comment of fellow blogger, Micah Warren, as a template.

    Also, spell Pittsburgh correctly, we’re not talking about northern California of that college in Kansas.


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