The Philadelphia Phillies aren’t used to opening up the purse strings. But, as a result of Thursday’s arbitration ruling, they will have to pay super-slugger Ryan Howard $10 million this season. The Phillies had previously offered up $7 million a year.

Here’s the skinny on this: The Phillies might need surgery to remove their heads from their rear ends. Just pay the man. Howard is the fastest player ever to hit 100 home runs in their career. He was Rookie of the Year in 2005 despite playing for half of the season. He was league MVP in 2006, hitting .313 with 58 bombs and 149 RBI’s. What are the Phillies waiting for? Who deserves $10 million if not Howard?

Pitcher Cole Hamels is a stud in the making. Shortstop Jimmy Rollins was NL MVP in 2007 and the catalyst for their division-winning run. Chase Utley is hands-down the best second baseman in baseball. Those players are great and they do generate interest in the team. But, as we all know, America is infatuated with the long ball. Howard makes baseballs cry. People go to Citizens Bank Ballpark to watch Howard smash the cover off of the ball and make the Liberty Bell go “ding” in right centerfield.

Photo Caption: “I’m going to put my new gold-plated toilet riiiiight….there.”

Luckily for Phillies fans (and the Phillies), there are independent arbitrators who make sure teams do the right thing. The Phillies should thank the people who ruled in Howard’s favor, ultimately saving the Phillies from themselves. There are reasons that this franchise doesn’t have a great relationship with its fans, and it’s stupid shit like this.

About The Author

Micah Warren is a sports writer from New York and the founder of Blast's sports section and the Off the Record sports blog.

2 Responses

  1. Chad

    Micah Warren hit the nail on the head! The arbitrator did save the Phillies from themselves. As a Phillies phan(yeah, I did it) it’s phrustrating(yup, again) to hear them talk about wanting to win, but then doing nothing of signifigance to get there.

  2. M.S.

    I have been following the Phils this season (even though baseball is extremely boring), and this post season Ryan Howard sucks!!! He’s swinging at pitches that are so far off the plate the man practically falls on his face. A guy getting paid this much money should be able to perform, otherwise, he needs to be treated like the non-performers and made to sit on the freakin’ bench….wake up loser!!!


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