The top 10 rejected “Obama VP Shortlist Candidates”

Aug. 22, 2008   4 Comments  

Time is up, Senator Obama. It’s time to text message everyone and let us know who your veep is going to be.

In a rare exclusive, Blast Magazine obtained from credible sources a list of 10 candidates who were rejected as possible choices for vice president under the 2008 Democratic ticket.

No, we didn’t really, but we hope you’ll enjoy anyway

10. Bill Clinton

When asked if he would be interested in the VP position and have a shot at the White House after his wife’s failed candidacy, former President Clinton had this to say:

“Yippie skippie!”

He was quickly removed from the list.

9. Nancy Pelosi

Nancy Pelosi approached Senator Obama after he became the presumptive Democratic nominee, offering him roughly the same amount of looks but only half the bitchiness

8. Batman

Batman would have strongly bolstered the campaign’s anti-crime stance and popularity among 18-30 year olds, but Batman’s popularity crashed faster than Barack’s last two weeks in the polls after everyone that saw “The Dark Knight” then went out, saw “Pineapple Express,” got stoned and stopped caring.

7. The Rev. Jesse Jackson

Now wishes he kept his mouth shut

6. Darren McFadden

Senator Obama’s original logic was, “if the Raiders took a chance on him, why can’t I run with the D-Mac? Seriously, 1,800 yards on the ground last year.”

5. Abraham Lincoln

As if rumors of a Republican/Democrat ticket in 2004 weren’t enough, Obama saught to recruit one of the most beloved figures in American history.

4. Dick Cheney

A junior Obama intern was fired for suggesting: “He’s done it for the last eight years, so he must know what he’s doing, right?”

3. Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili

Obama figured he would be out of a job soon enough once the Kremlin decided to show Secretary Rice what it really thought of the withdrawal treaty.

2. Clark Rockefeller a.k.a. Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter

In the early days of the campaign, Rockefeller tricked a senior Obama official into believing he was Joe Biden

1. Hillary Clinton

Obama wondered why all of his death threats suddenly stopped when he started being nicer to Senator Clinton

Fiction. Duh


Comments

  1. amy says:

    Isn’t Medvedev the President of Russia, Putin having stood down to take on the role of Russian Prime Minister earlier this year?

  2. yup good catch sorry about that

  3. cherise says:

    i would just like to say fuck obama and hillary!
    it has nothing to do with race..even if he is of african american decent it doesnt matter i believe that both him and hillary would be the worst presidents ever!next to bill clinton.just stop with the bull shit
    you guys say they dont want us there in iraq but my friends mom was there and the kids and people said how they liked that they were there. you need to get your facts straight before you start running your mouthes

  4. *shuts his mouthes*

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