Something pale white and ice cold has allegedly been lurking the halls of Boston Latin, a prestigious Massachusetts exam school, and it’s not just the Bostonian students and faculty. In attempts to quell rumors and comfort parents, the headmaster of Boston Latin sent a notice out to all students, faculty and parents, stating that rumors involving vampires had spread through the school and that no one’s safety had in fact been in jeopardy. Notice that the administration never actually denied the presence of vampires at the school.

Fans of “Twilight” know what this vague, reassuring statement means: The Cullens are currently living in Boston. There is no other way to explain this situation. Obviously no one is in danger because they would never feed on human blood, and in fact, they are actually protecting Boston Latin from bad vampires. After all, the Volturi (the evil vampire equivalent to the mob) is from Italy and might be interested in a school named “Boston Latin.” Obviously, the police are still way off track, looking to “goth” students as possible sources of the rumors. We know better. If you want to find the vampires – look to the wealthy, good looking students who keep to themselves.

For now, Cullen clan, you secret is safe with us.

On a side note, it is actually refreshing to see that students these days are becoming more creative, because honestly, rumors about vampires are way more exciting than teen pregnancy.