So……I’ve been debating with myself for the last couple of months about doing something a little crazy, a little out of my own element, a little unlike me [the person] who has had absolutely no desire to ever be on TV. I am going to audition for a reality TV show.
I’m not talking about a show that just seems to have casting calls every week in your city about the chance to get skeletor skinny, finding out who your baby daddy is, showcasing how hard it is to be a teen mom (because sorry girls, it’s hard to be a mom at any age including 28 and it’s your own damn fault for getting knocked up while in the 10th grade like a dumbass thinking it was going to be FUN), the “Real World”, or proving you can design a house or a pair of boots but to be a race car driver. Not any race car driver either, an NHRA race car driver. Not that lame, round-n-round driving the same car as the one beside you but in different sheet metal bullshit either but all out drag racing. Guess who has always wanted to be a Pro Stock racer? ‘Tis me. Most importantly, who has always wanted to be a Dodge girl? That’s right, me again. Maybe it was the 1989 Gatornationals that hooked me, maybe it was Shirley Muldowney, or Darrell Alderman and Scott Geoffrion the original Dodge boys with their Wayne County controversy or maybe it was just the love of watching the cars over the years and hearing from my Dad that I could do it because I have mastered the art of rowing the gears. Or maybe I just want to see if it’s even possible to chase a dream and see if it can actually come true.
Does anyone know how hard it is to talk about driving? It’s not exactly as easy as I thought it would be. To do and then talk about it, are two very different things. I know I would bring something to the Pro Stock class much like Ashley Force has brought to Funny Car; youth, excitement and I’m not vain but I’m not too bad to look at either compared to a majority of the old fuckers who race every week. What would you as a viewer rather see, an old dude with no hair or a bubbly blonde who just happens to spew performance lingo with great hair and a nice grill with the occasional sailor slip? I don’t know about you but no matter how bad the pretty girl does someone still tunes in to see her face. Take Danica Patrick for insistence. ‘Nuff said.
This November I am going to make the 2 hour trek to Gainesville for an NHRA Unleashed event to have my mug taped for a 4 minute segment that will be uploaded to YouTube. Finalists will be determined based on how many views they receive so I might be putting some added pressure on some of you I don’t even know to at least view it once and then of course pass around the link to your mom, brother, dad, sister, cousin, boss, girlfriend, boyfriend, neighbor, dog walker, mail man, valet dude…get my drift?
If I don’t make it at least get to say I tried but if I do what a story that would be to tell when I’m in the retirement home.