Here’s what we came up with:

10. X-men meet the Seven Dwarfs

The X-men have always lacked just a little something, but by adding Dopey, Sleepy Grumpy and the gang they pick up seven little somethings in one fell swoop. And if you don’t think the dwarfs are mutants, you haven’t seen Grumpy eat soup.

9. Sub-Mariner meets The Little Mermaid

A couple of nights with Namor and Ariel would never pine for the surface world again.

Do you get the metaphor?

8. Donald Duck meets Howard the Duck

Oh, the (in)humanity!

You have heard of Howard the Duck, right?

7. Bambi meets The Incredible Hulk

Each an orphan in his own way, the purple panted one and the world’s most beloved deer would get along famously — at least, a helluva lot better than Bambi and Godzilla did!

6. Beauty & the Beast meet Wolverine

The two beastie boys battling over Belle? Put some protective covering on the furniture and an extra coat of scratch-resistant polish on the floors!

5. Deadpool meets Dumbo

Teleportation is so overdone. What better way to strike terror in the hearts of your enemies than to come swooping in on a flying baby elephant who cries if you criticize his ears?

4. Spider-man meets Aladdin

You gotta believe smart-alec Spidey and the jovial blue Genie would get along famously. Although with skyscrapers hard to find in the ancient middle east, the magic carpet could get a bit crowded!

3. Iron Man meets Wall-E

I’m sure each has a few spare parts the other would love to accessorize, and imagine the epic quests across the galaxy looking for a 220-volt outlet!

2. Daredevil meets Goofy

The blind leading the congenitally idiotic! At least Goofy could lighten the mood during some of those tense courtroom battles..

1. Captain America meets Toy Story

Could there be two more pompous crimefighters than Cap and Buzz Lightyear? By the time the two of them decide on a rallying cry/motto, all the super villains will have retired.

Reynolds, 32, also played Deadpool in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” He will reprise the character in the movie of the same name in 2011.

The BBC notes that Reynolds is now the first actor to portray characters for DC and Marvel.

Reynolds beat out short-listers Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake for the Green Lantern role. The movie is scheduled to begin filming in November.

Deadpool, a fan-favorite character played by Ryan Reynolds in “Wolverine,” is a (crazy) mercenary who peppers his stories with wisecracks and quips. He has a healing factor that supersedes even Wolverine’s and is one of the most formidable fighters in the X-Men universe.

And that’s all well and good except for the fact that the awesome Deadpool of the comics showed up in “Wolverine” for about five minutes before his character was summarily (and literally, apparently) chopped up into little bits.

Indeed, one of the great failures in “Wolverine,” besides the laughable writing, horrendous production values, pathetic dialogue, and all-around terribleness, was in fact the treatment of Deadpool’s character.

So what do I have to say about a Deadpool movie?

Let’s break it down.

PROS

1. Done right (key word), Deadpool has the potential to make a very cool movie, as well as one that will make money at the box office. His character allows for the gritty, edgy superhero movies that have come into vogue since “Sin City,” “The Dark Knight,” et cetera as well as the comedic factor – like “Spiderman,” except not as lame.

2. Done right (key fucking word), Deadpool would be a redeeming addition to the X-Men franchise that has gone from a gleaming beacon on a hill to a festering joke populated with evil Hollywood-types who like to destroy childhood heroes as they laugh and count their money. “Wolverine” proved that there could be an X-Men movie even worse than “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” and that Wolverine could star in a movie that people would compare to “Daredevil” in terms of suck. But Deadpool could change all that.

3. Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds caught a lot of flak when he was cast as Deadpool. Most fans had a hard time seeing Berg as one of the most badass mutants in the X-Universe. But frankly, the guy proved that he can do action movies in his five seconds of “Wolverine” screen time and in his role as Hannibal in “Blade III” (and come on, folks, let’s not pretend that the Blade movies were anything other than sweet sword-fights, shootouts and vampires). I’ll even go one step further and change his status from “competent” to “great choice.”

CONS

1. “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” made most fans (and people with brains) want to kill puppies.

2. “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” made most fans (and people with brains) actually go out and kill puppies.

3. Can we possibly trust Fox? Since Bryan Singer left the franchise to go fail at “Superman Returns,” the studio has clearly proven that they could honestly care less about the quality of the X-Men movies. I mean, who hires Brett Ratner for anything, much less for a huge, big-budget threequel with a big fanbase and fan anticipation? Who hires a director whose attitude is, “fuck the fans, we already have their money?” And it’s one thing to change the storyline or introduce new characters or ignore established comic book canon in order to make a better film — a comic book movie is still an adaptation. It’s another thing entirely to shit on comic book canon in favor of making a shitty movie.

4. Most people haven’t heard of Deadpool, including the studio zombies who make these decisions. Unless Wolverine is somehow involved (as most popular character in Marvel films and comics), will Deadpool a) get the budget (although a budget didn’t appear to help “Wolverine” any) and b) generate excitement (aka, will people see it because it’s an X-Men movie?).

5. LEAVE DEADPOOL THE HELL ALONE. LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM IN “WOLVERINE,” YOU MONSTERS!

So here’s what I think should happen. Drop the hokey and pretentious “X-Men Origins” business (Deadpool was NOT an X-Man, thank you), and besides Deadpool wasn’t in the original three X-Men movies. Don’t leech off of Wolverine’s popularity by making the movie some kind of “Deadpool and Wolverine, Duo Extraordinaire” and don’t even attempt to adhere to the (shitty) continuity in “Wolverine.”

Instead, reboot Deadpool in a movie of his very own, unrelated to the established X-universe on film. Sure, it can be an origin story, whatever. That’s what studios seem to be fond of these days. But make a movie for the character in his own right, not just because he fought with Wolverine a couple of times.

Most importantly, studios — read a fucking Deadpool comic. Seriously. Please.

And finally — for the love of Phoenix, don’t sew the character’s mouth shut. That’s half of what makes him awesome.

ENFIELD, Conn. — My feeling is this: the only possible way that “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” could have been spawned is if the following conversation took place, in some undisclosed location with a pair of undisclosed Fox studio executives. Let’s call them Character and Assassination.

Character: Hey, even though the third X-Men was a pile of cow dung, everybody still likes Wolverine, right?

Assassination: Please. The better question is, who doesn’t like Hugh Jackman? That guy’s awesome.

Character: So let’s make a movie about him, throw in a lot of gratuitous cameos of other mutants — but let’s twist their personalities and abilities to the point where they are unrecognizable.

Assassination: Great idea! And let’s the film the entire thing on green screens! Think Lucas will give us a hand? He’s an expert at ruining franchises.

Character: Pshaw, think about how much that’ll cost? Instead, let’s blow our whole FX budget showing Sabretooth’s fingernails growing in extreme closeup, accompanied by Liev Schreiber’s sardonic smirk.

Assassination: I like the way you think. Maybe we could add a couple unfunny pithy one-liners. But what happens besides that?

Character: Doesn’t really matter. We could just have Wolverine get into a lot of pointless fights that don’t advance the plot at all. And he could growl a lot, sort of like Darth Vader in “Revenge of the Sith.” That was the best part, am I right?

Assassination: Totally. But what other mutants should we include?

Character: Well, the fans have been asking for Gambit.

Assassination: The only way I’ll allow that is if he drops his Cajun accent five minutes into the film, and also appears out of nowhere several times.

Character: It’s a deal. Also, let’s cast Van Wilder and Charlie from “Lost” somehow. And that guy from the Yes We Can video. I’m thinking we could tell them they’ll play cool mutants from the comics and then make their characters about a hundred times more stupid.

Assassination: With pleasure! And let’s abuse Cyclops again. I really just can’t stand that guy.

Character: How will we keep continuity with the other movies? For that matter, Liev Schreiber doesn’t look anything like the guy who played Sabretooth the first time, does he?

Assassination: Don’t worry about it. Just call him “Victor” the entire time and give him less hair. The audience won’t even know he’s supposed to be Sabretooth.

Character: Genius. You ready to film this thing, then?

Assassination: Yeah. But should we worry about the plot at all?

Character: Are you kidding? We’ll have as many plot holes as the amount of bloodless stab wounds. Gotta keep it PG-13.

Assassination: Let’s do this thing!

There you have it, folks. Now, that might come off as the bitter ranting of a disappointed geek — which I admittedly am — but the truth of the matter is that this was a bad, bad film regardless of geek affiliation or lack thereof.

The production values were uneven at best and laughable at worst; there are scenes where I had to fight not to laugh, both at the bad CGI and painful dialogue. It was like watching the part in “Return of the King” where the hobbits are frolicking in bed together.

The plot was disjointed and frankly made very little sense. All the themes and questions that Bryan Singer and company developed in the first two X-Men films — and yes, even the abominable Brett Ratner contributed to those in the third X-Men — are completely absent here. Yes, it’s intended to be a different franchise, I understand that, but it is also supposedly set in the same universe. But no, the only continuity in this film was Jackman himself.

Ah! There it is: the film’s sole redeeming quality! Hugh Jackman is again excellent in the role, balancing the fan favorite “best at what he does, but what he does isn’t very nice” aspect of Wolverine with the human side. Jackman clearly has a love for this role and this character, and he played the different sides of the Wolverine beautifully. One such moment was near the end of the film, when Logan loses his memories. The change in attitude, in voice, was so perfectly on par with the Logan we see in X-Men 1 and 2 that I could only smile.

But unfortunately, one good performance doesn’t save a film riddled with inconsistency, stupidity, absurdity, and a lot of other nouns that end in “Y,” nor does that performance render the film watchable.

It’s a shame, really — and I do hate to say it — but the bottom line here is to stay away from “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.”

Stay far, far away.

SAN DIEGO — It’s coming out on DVD in January, but we got the chance to screen the upcoming Marvel/Lionsgate animated feature “Hulk vs. Wolverine” on Thursday.

Fans of the animated series will appreciate the spirit of the yellow-clad, “bub” shouting, canine-familiar superhero and the transformation between a meek Dr. Banner and a monstrous Hulk calling Wolverine “little man.”

The 40-minute movie opens true to the pair’s first comic book meeting, with The Incredible Hulk tearing up Canada and the military calling on Wolverine to put a stop to him. They square off before the story pans to some of Logan’s past and the origins of the Weapon X program, nicely paying tribute to the comic book roots.

The Weapon X program and its maniacle “Professor” are back, and they want Wolverine and the Hulk as weapons for themselves. The Weapon X crew includes Sabretooth, Omega Red, Lady Deathstrike and a hilarious Deadpool who steals the show.

It’s a bloody, limb-ripping feature that will surely please X-Men fans come January. It ship on one disc with Hulk vs. Thor.

In a surprise appearance at today’s Comic-con Fox event, Hugh Jackman arrived, “directly off the plane” from the set of Wolverine after the cast and crew finished filming the final scenes. He brought with him a first look at the film, which Jackman assured the crowd he taped together himself on his plane ride.

From what the reel showed, it seems like the film will follow a Wolverine (Jackman) /Sabertooth (Liev Schrieber) friendship-to-mortal-enemies-type plot line, from their first meeting in a prison cell, through their training in Weapon X under the tutelage of William Stryker (Danny Huston). And yes, from the reel of footage, their was visual proof of a Gambit in the upcoming movie, being played by Taylor Kitsch.

Hugh Jackman seemed just as excited as we all are after the resounding applause for Gambit.