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A chapter in the puzzling tale of “Two and a Half Men” its talented yet troubled former star has been closed.

Charlie Sheen and Warner Bros. Television settled Sheen’s $100 million wrongful termination lawsuit that the actor brought amidst a verbal tirade against the show’s executives and creator Chuck Lorre.

Warner Bros. confirmed that the two parties “have resolved their dispute” to “mutual satisfaction.”

“The pending lawsuit and arbitration will be dismissed as to all parties. The parties have agreed to maintain confidentiality over the terms of the settlement,” Warner said in a statement.

Details of the settlement were not released, but the Los Angeles Times reported that Warner would settle the suit for $25 million.

Judy Greer arrives at the Critics' Choice Television Awards at Beverly Hills Hotel on June 20 in Beverly Hills, California. (WireImage)

TV funnygirl Judy Greer has signed on for the revamped “Two and a Half Men.”

The actress will play Ashton Kutcher’s ex-wife and the source of his amazing depression that causes Kutcher’s character, an Internet billionaire, to buy Charlie Harper’s (Charlie Sheen) beach house and ask Alan (Jon Cryer) and Jake (Angus T. Jones) to keep living there, with him, to keep him company.

Greer, 36, is an “Arrested Development” alum and we really liked her on the short-lived CBS comedy “Mad Love.”

Greer actually appeared previously as a character named Myra who slept with Charlie in two episodes in 2007.

The new season of “Two and a Half Men” premieres at 9 p.m. on September 19.

By now, everyone knows that Ashton Kutcher will be replacing Charlie Sheen when the most popular sitcom on television, Two and a Half Men, returns this fall. But until now, CBS had been tight-lipped about Kutcher’s character.

On Wednesday, Entertainment President Nina Tassler finally opened up about the series revamp while on a press tour in Beverly Hills. Kutcher will be introduced over the course of the two part season premiere. He will play Walden Schmidt, a billionaire with a broken heart. Aww, poor Ashton!

Wait: A rich, single guy taken in by Duckie and the kid who got uglier as he got older? Perhaps it won’t be much of a revamp after all. Not to alienate any readers out there, but it’s not like the show could get any worse. Even if the biggest difference is a smokin’ hot lead actor instead of a wrinkly, pathetic old man with no comedic talent whatsoever, it’s a step up.

Said Tassler, “Who could have predicted that we would be here six months ago?” Um, everyone, pointed out one reporter.

The season premiere is ready to be shot this Friday, but don’t expect to get any more hints before the show airs. Tassler would not confirm the rumor that the season begins with the funeral of Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper.

If Kutcher can’t breathe new life into the show, it too may soon be dead and buried.

Kutcher joins the cast of Two and a Half Men

Sheen performs in Atlantic City during his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour

Fitting, we suppose.

Charlie Sheen’s rich jingle-writing character, also named Charlie, will be violently killed off of “Two and a Half Men” to start the next season, TMZ reports.

According to the celebrity website, “Men” executive producer Chuck Lorre is looking to make sure Sheen will never be back on the highly-rated CBS comedy.

Whether it’s jumping off a cliff or some other, terrible, end, Charlie Harper is going to die, and the show will go on without him.

Winning!? No. Dying! Yes.

TMZ reported Tuesday that “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre and Ashton Kutcher were meeting at a coffee shop in California this weekend.

Kutcher is going to replace Charlie Sheen on the hit comedy show after British actor Hugh Grant passed on the opportunity.

Kutcher said in statement Friday, “I can’t replace Charlie Sheen but I’m going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people!”

Charlie Sheen tweeted to Kutcher, “#Winning Congrats to the cast and crew…CBS & WB..! My best to @aplusk !! The show must go on… You got the right guy! c”

And, Kutcher replied, “#2.5 @charliesheen Thank man. Always been a fan, always will be! BTW you were “born big””

British actor Hugh Grant, who doesn’t have a work-in-progress film was in final negotiations to replace Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men” and Grant was offered $1 million per episode as Warner Bros. and CBS had commented they were pursuing “an A-lister” to replace Sheen.

Grant’s “Men” would be so much different from the Sheen’s. It is very interesting to see what would happen from here.

NEW YORK — One of the most important life lessons Charlie Sheen says he’s learned is to either love or hate things, rather than wavering in the middle. That certainly seemed to be the case among the audience members in attendance at Radio City Music Hall Friday night for the first of two New York City stops on Sheen’s one-man tour, “My Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option.”

When the actor strolled onto the stage a little after 8:30, he was met with the type of fervent applause and hooting usually reserved for televangelists or stadium rock acts.

“This is radical,” said Sheen, clad in a New York Yankees shirt and matching hat, jeans and sneakers. By the time his … performance, for wont of a better word, concluded approximately 58 minutes later, to say the mood had changed would be an understatement.

Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth” came in the form of a sit-down interview (think “Inside the Actors Studio”) that primarily consisted of the star recounting stories about trashing hotel rooms and bedding prostitutes in various parts of the world, while the interviewer, a man about Sheen’s age who was never introduced by name, either egged him on or tried to keep his ramblings on track. (“In my world, a simple question usually has an epic answer,” Sheen noted.)

For the record, Sheen seemed completely sober, but a passing reference to his professed teetotaling was met with boos. (“An AA meeting this is not,” he responded wryly, shortly before lighting his first cigarette of the evening.)

Noting that he was not staying at the Plaza Hotel this time around (the site of his infamous binge in October 2010), Sheen offered his recollection of that night, which he said began with thousands of dollars worth of wine at the restaurant Daniel with the porn star/escort Capri Anderson.

“Next thing I know I’m naked (in my hotel room), taking Ambien and fighting the cops,” he said, explaining that the entire fracas was started when Anderson locked herself in the bathroom with his $173,000 watch. “Did I throw a chair at the door? Maybe. Here’s the shitty part — I never even fucked her. Winning? Not.”

At first, Sheen’s anecdotes were welcomed with catcalls and catchphrases (anyone playing a drinking game that involved shouts of “Winning!” from the peanut gallery would surely have blacked out early on.) But after about 20 minutes, as the interviewer tried to veer towards serious questions about Sheen’s film career, the crowd’s enthusiasm took a turn as well, culminating in repeated shouts of “Boring!!”

Sheen visibly grew increasingly irritated, but managed to keep his cool. “I thought when I spoke, everyone else would listen,” he said after a particularly enthusiastic round of boos. (He has a point. It makes one wonder what exactly attendees, many of whom shelled out more than $100 for tickets, were hoping for.)

The whole thing was not unlike that awkward, cringe-y feeling one gets when listening to an older relative or acquaintance reminisce about his riotous “glory days,” thinking his exploits are impressive, when they’re really just sort of pathetic. “This is a really good story, trust me,” the interviewer told attendees more than once — a little desperately, it seemed.

Sheen’s two girlfriends, a.k.a. his “Goddesses,” also made a brief cameo onstage. The term “goddess,” the audience learned, was actually coined by actor Nicolas Cage in 1990 when, according to Sheen, he and Cage were met with federal agents after they repeatedly cracked jokes over the PA system on a flight to San Francisco. Though Sheen was carrying an ounce of cocaine at the time, the two actors walked out of the airport unscathed. (“All the federal agents were ‘Platoon’ fans,” Sheen explained. “They were also fans of ‘Raising Arizona.’”) As they were leaving, Sheen said, Cage turned to him and said, “How about that blonde stewardess? She was a fucking goddess.”

Sheen also name-checked his half-brother, Emilio Estevez, and their father, Martin Sheen. Freud would have had a field day with the comments about the elder Sheen.

“How ‘bout my dad?” Sheen said, seemingly without sarcasm. “He’s fuckin’ gnarly. He’s still the fuckin’ coolest guy on the planet.”

It was his father, Sheen said, who made him want to get into show business in the first place. Not be a serious actor, mind you — merely to be famous and take advantage of all the trappings that came with it.

“He always had cash in his pockets and he was always surrounded by hot chicks,” Sheen recalled.

And the “tiger blood” Sheen claims to possess? Apparently derived from a scene in “Apocalypse Now,” where Martin Sheen’s character has a run-in with a tiger while searching for mangoes.

Towards the end of the show, a video was played that mocked Sheen’s pull quote-spawning “20/20” interview and concluded with a sequence of Sheen and three friends romping around and playing air guitar to REO Speedwagon’s “Take It On the Run.” It was met with tepid laughter from the audience.

The loudest applause of the night came when Sheen expressed his desire to return to his sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” from which he said he was fired for merely “having too much fun.”

“What did they expect when they gave me all this cash?” he wondered. (Again, coming from a known drug and alcohol abuser who was earning about $2 million per episode, he’s not entirely off-base.)

Sheen issued a public invitation for writer Chuck Lorre to join him onstage during his second performance, on Sunday, so the two could hash out their (very publicly aired) differences and bring the show out of its current limbo.

For his final “act,” Sheen rattled off his bucket list, which included feats like hitting a home run in Yankee Stadium, jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge wearing a parachute (“Not opening it, just wearing it. I’ll live.”), adopting Nick Nolte as his son and killing the shark from “Jaws.” And lastly, in what was clearly a rehearsed line, Sheen said he wanted to “play Radio City on a Friday night. (pause) Oh wait, I just did. Good night!”

I’m willing to speculate that when Sheen practiced that line in his head, it was probably met with thunderous applause. But in reality, boos drowned out the clapping as he exited the stage and the house lights came on with a promptness that likely broke the existing record. Cries of “You suck!” and “You’re a joke!” rained down from the balcony.

Though the first night of Sheen’s tour, in Detroit last weekend, was a certifiable bomb, the negative response from Friday’s crowd had to have been especially irksome for the New York City native. Sheen’s delusional sense of ego and self-aggrandizement will come in handy for the remainder of the tour, if Friday night was a harbinger of his future appearances. He may believe that he’s still “winning,” but it’s quickly becoming apparent that most people have lost interest in the game.

The top 10 “Sheen-ius” quotes from Charlie’s Radio City show:

10. “I got Weinstein-ed twice. Those fucking guys are warlocks.” (In reference to “The Three Musketeers” and “Scary Movie 4.”)

9. Recalling an encounter with a prostitute in Hong Kong: “We started smoking cocoa puffs. That’s kindergarten for crack.”

8. On a prostitute he met with Estevez on a visit to Mexico, who was eight months pregnant and had Caesarian scars: “Did I fuck her? Well, yeah. Was I awesome? You betcha.”

7. “I always confuse marriage vows with the Miranda Rights.”

6. On “Wall Street”: “I didn’t understand the language. I might as well have been speaking Aramaic.”

5. “I haven’t had a speeding ticket since 1985. I haven’t driven since ’84.”

4. On filming “Platoon”: “I had diarrhea the whole time. I had Vietnam coming out of my ass.”

3. “Anyone see ‘Wall Street 2’? Was I in that movie?”

2. From one of his hotel stories: “I performed CPR on a supermodel in a heroin coma. She was in the coma, not me.”

1. On his sobriety: “Sober Valley Lodge: Population, one. Success rate, perfect.”

Charlie Sheen just sued Warner Bros. for $100 million. This is getting ugly. How does it work out? When Warner Brothers rehires him and “Two and a Half Men” restarts next season.

This might seem crazy. Like, Charlie Sheen-crazy. But think about it — why did they fire him anyway?

Because he bad mouthed the studio and his boss? Pssh. There are plenty of divas around Hollywood. And there is one reason people are allowed to be divas — when they bring in the money. Like Charlie Sheen does.

“Two and a Half Men” has been the number one comedy on television for seven of its eight season. NUMBER ONE. Not “The Office.” Not “30 Rock.” It’s had critical acclaim in the form of Outstanding Comedy nominations and Emmy nominations for Sheen. But all that matters is that number one designation.

It’s one of the most-watched shows on television. Because of this, it brings in fairly substantial advertising revenue, money needed to offset all the unwatched shows on CBS in the demo (like “Blue Bloods,” “The Good Wife,” etc.).

And since its not a drama or a serial, it repeats really well. So well, that for the last two Mondays, even in repeats, “Two and Half Men” has been one of the top programs for the night.

It does just as well in syndication. Most weeks, “Two and A Half Men” is one of the most-watched syndicated programs. And that’s where Warner Bros. is making its money: syndication.

Warner Bros. foots the bill for the show. It’s the one paying out nearly $2 million per episode to keep Sheen — and the studio that just fired him. Warner Bros. sell each episode to CBS for its first run airing. Given that its one of the top programs, CBS probably pockets some nice advertising change ($200,000+ per 30 second commercial) for the show, and in turn, pays a hefty price to Warner Bros. per episode — likely several million per episode, off setting the cost of production for Warner Bros.

Warner Bros. then banks on syndication to keep “Two and A Half Men” money running forever. Successfully syndicated shows are monster — “Seinfeld” has earned more than $2.7 BILLION in the 13 years since it went off the air. Every episode canceled represents millions of dollars lost to Warner Brothers.

Since “Men” repeats and performs so well in all these aspects, it makes the most financial sense to keep Sheen. This lawsuit is going to cost everyone involved, millions of dollars. Sheen wants the money. And as his lawsuit alleges, Warner Bros. knew what he was like when they signed him to a $90 contract extension last year.

How does this all end? The only way that makes sense for everyone: with Sheen returning to “Two and a Half Men.” 

Charlie Sheen has filed suit against his former employer Warner Bros., along with Two and a Half Men showrunner Chuck Lorre for $100 million.

“Chuck Lorre, one of the richest men in television who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, believes himself to be so wealthy and powerful that he can unilaterally decide to take money away from the dedicated cast and crew of the popular television series Two and a Half Men in order to serve his own ego and self-interest and make the star of the Series the scapegoat,” reads the opening of the lawsuit. “Charlie Sheen is not only seeking payment for his own compensation for the Series, but he is also pursuing claims for the benefit of the entire cast and crew to get paid the balance of the season’s 24 episodes.”

In the lawsuit, Sheen claims that Warner Brothers had no problem signing him to a two-year extension last May (worth $90 million) even though he was facing felony charges and had known substance abuse issues.

“None of these resulted in Warner Bros. suspending Mr. Sheen. What did?”

According to Sheen and his attorney, is the actor criticizing Lorre “after years of Lorre humiliating, harassing and disparaging Mr. Sheen.”

The lawsuit cites the recent closing card on “Two and a Half Men” that referred to a “Hooker in the Closet” (referencing Sheen’s Plaza hotel trashing), and Lorre advising people watching Men to “avoid degrading yourself by having meaningless sex with stranger in a futile attempt to fill the emptiness in your soul”.”

“Because of his financial leverage with Warner Bros. and CBS by having two other profitable series with them [Big Bang Theory and Mike & Molly], Lorre convinced Warner Bros. to conspire with him and attribute the suspension of the Series and termination of Mr. Sheen’s contract on Mr. Sheen’s alleged statements, conduct and condition, despite the fact that Mr. Sheen is in compliance with his contract,” the suit reads.

The suit goes on to accuse Lorre of refusing to produce scripts when Sheen was ready to return to work on Feb. 14 — a key point, since it suggests that Lorre, not Sheen, was responsible for production being halted. Warner Bros. insiders have maintained that since the original idea was to give Sheen a month off to get sober, when the actor  suddenly pronounced himself cured and said he’s ready to come back to work, it was unreasonable to expect scripts to be ready so quickly.

Warner Bros. has released no comment.

Welcome to today’s Charlie Sheen news installment.

Sheen has been officially fired from his starring role in “Two and a Half Men.” His latest comment that he will be back on the show appears to be not a reality anymore.

Warner Bros announced in a statement, “After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men’ effective immediately.”

However, if you want to work for the “Winning” star, now there is a chance as Sheen tweeted Monday, “I’m looking to hire a #Winning INTERN with #TigerBlood.” The tweet is a paid-for endorsement from Internships.com.

Charlie Sheen called into Philadelphia-based Wired 96.5 Friday morning and confidently said that “Two and a Half Men” will return to CBS. CBS hasn’t released any comment regarding this.

Sheen said on the radio, “Absolutely the gig’s coming back, and I have absolute faith in that. Not hope, because hope is for suckers. I see us back on the air with a few adjustments, and giving the people not only what they want, but what they deserve, which is loyalty.”

He added, “It feels like we’re getting close to something. I don’t want to say what. But it just feels like the worm is turning, it feels like all parties myself excluded are finally waking up. It’s like some hot springs in Middle Earth are finally ready to explode outward and say, ‘Here is it, here it is, embrace this man, embrace this man.’”

Sheen was asked if Chuck Lorre would be glad about his return since CBS canceled the remaining eight episodes of the high-rated comedy show after Sheen’s controversial statements about its show runner Lorre. Sheen answered, “Well, hello, duh. Figure that one out.”

This interview might be only the beginning since Howard Stern recently appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” and said that he had proposed the idea of “Charlie Radio, 24 hours a day,” and now it’s happening. Sirius XM is actually launching a station devoted entirely to Charlie Sheen. According to a statement, they confirmed Friday that the channel will “take listeners behind the headlines, exploring the media frenzy/media reaction, as well as the medical, psychological, psychiatric and pop-culture and celebrity angles. Additionally, through a recap of news coverage, it will offer a timeline of recent events” and includes “breaking news, facts, fallout and career implications.” The channel is called “Tiger Blood Radio,” a 24-hour, limited-run channel dedicated to Charlie Sheen, which will run from Saturday at 6 a.m. ET to Sunday at 6 a.m. ET on Sirius channel 108 and XM channel 139.

*Our TV Renewal/Cancellation scorecard has been updated to reflect these ratings!

While not exactly a shoe-in for renewal, “The Chicago Code” was even with last week with a 2.1 in the 18-49 demo. Given Fox’s many other woes, that could be enough to earn the show a second season. House was up to a 3.8 rating, leading all shows for the night.

“The Cape” aired its season, and most certainly series finale, drawing a 1.1 in the demo. News wasn’t much better for “Harry’s Law” or “Chuck,” which drew a 1.8 and 1.7 respectively. While those would be cancellation-worthy numbers, both remain tossups for survival given NBC’s overall woes.

ABC led the evening, thanks to a potent one-two punch of “The Bachelor” and “Castle, which led the 10 pm hour.

CBS had a decent night: “How I Met Your Mother” was down, while “Mad Love’s” 2.7 demo may put it in danger. Obviously Charlie Sheen’s antics haven’t hurt the show; it drew a 3.2 in the demo for a repeat. “Mike and Molly” is the bona fide hit of the 2010-2011 season; it increased viewership from a repeat of “Two a Half Men” to a 3.4 demo.

I don’t really know what to make of the CW. If the entire lineup is equally bad, will they cancel the whole network?

* repeat

8 pm

House: 3.8 demo, 11 million viewers

How I Met Your Mother: 3.4 demo, 9.2 million viewers

The Bachelor (8-10 pm): 3.4 demo, 11.2 million viewers

Chuck: .1.7 demo, 5.3 million viewers

90210: .7 demo, 1.4 million viewers

8:30

Mad Love: 2.7 demo, 7.9 million viewers

9 pm

*Two and A Half Men: 3.2 demo, 11.5 million viewers

The Chicago Code: 2.1 demo, 8 million viewers

The Cape: 1.1 demo, 4 million viewers

Gossip Girl: .7 demo, 1.3 million viewers

9:30

Mike and Molly: 3.4 demo, 11.4 million viewers

10 pm

Castle: 2.8 demo, 10.2 million viewers

*Hawaii Five-O: 1.9 demo, 7.2 million viewers

Harry’s Law: 1.8 demo, 9.1 million viewers

Calling into the Alex Jones Show radio program according to TMZ, Sheen referred to the executive producer and creator of “Two and a Half Men” as a “clown” and said his real name is “Hymie Levine” (Lorre was born Charles Michael Levine).

“I didn’t care about that vanity card, I went straight home and dispelled that, that was actually one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin’ almost a decade,” Sheen says of the vanity card Lorre ran after the Feb. 14 episode of Men, which read the creator he would be pissed if Sheen outlives him. “I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that this un-evolved mind cannot process. I’ve spent, I think, close to the last decade, I don’t know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin can into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write.”

Apparently referring to the long list of women Sheen parties with, he said “If I bring up these turds, these… losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there.”

Sheen also called AA a “bootleg cult” with a five percent success rate.

“I have a disease?” he said. “Bulls—. I cured it… with my mind… it’s all good guys. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment… You can kill be but you do not have the right to judge me … I can’t use the word sober because that’s a term from those people, and I have cleansed myself. I have closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous … It’s just the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. You know? This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as AA now supports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math! … One of their stupid mottos is ‘don’t be special, be one of us.’ News flash: I am special and I will never be one of you. ‘Oh, we have to all sit in here and touch ourselves and frown.’ Well, you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun. I’m going to hang out with these two smokin’ hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.”

“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second,” he continued. “I’m not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every f—ing turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man — I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets.”

At one point he also refers to himself and the interviewer as “Vatican assassin warlocks.”

“Two and Half Men” has held up very well in the ratings despite Sheen’s much publicized antics; it remains to be seen if his latest attempt at acting out will hurt it.

TMZ reports that Charlie Sheen, 45, is going to pay the “Two and a Half Men” crew a portion of their salaries for the two weeks the show has been down due to his ‘not-so-great’ behavior. Warner Brothers and CBS will pay the remaining portion.

Also, according to the source, “Men” star is ready to come back to work next week to complete the season although a CBS executive told the source that no one on the show is ready to go back to work on Monday and no one has asked the network to pay a third of the crew salaries for the downtime. A Warner Bros. executive added: “We sincerely hope that Charlie’s rehab is going well. We hope that he is healthy in the very near future and we look forward to the return of production of ‘Two and a Half Men.’”

The show is reportedly scheduled to be produced again at the end of this month, based on the assumption that Sheen can handle it.

Capri Anderson enters a Midtown Manhattan office building on November 22 in New York (WireImage)

On Monday, “Two and a Half Men” actor Charlie Sheen, 45, sued the porn star, Capri Anderson, who was found locked in the bathroom of his Manhattan’s Plaza Hotel suite last month, hours after she accused him of abuse in a “Good Morning America” interview.

The suit accuses the woman of extortion, saying she sought $1 million to remain quiet.

Earlier Monday, Anderson alleged Sheen used racial slurs and grabbed her by the throat on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

The lawsuit claims the allegations are false and that Anderson lowered her price to $500,000 on the eve of the interview. The lawsuit also accuses Anderson of taking a $165,000 watch from the actor and locking herself in the bathroom of the hotel to conceal the watch.

Anderson originally planned to file against the actor for battery and false imprisonment.

Sheen was temporarily hospitalized after hotel security reported he was disorderly and had broken furniture in his hotel room. Also, he voluntarily went with authorities for a psychiatric evaluation and was released from the hospital the same day.

ABC won Monday night with the 1-2 punch of “Dancing with the Stars” and “Castle.” From 8-10, “Dancing” averaged 19.7 million viewers and a 4.2 rating, to lead the night. “Castle” logged good numbers at 10, with a 3.1 rating and 12 million viewers.

NBC was in fourth for the night, and its Monday night slate keeps getting worse; cancellation looms for “Lost” wannabe “The Event,” which drew only 6.5 million viewers and a 2.2 rating, and “Chase,” which fell to a 1.5 rating and 5 million viewers. “Chuck ” is also on its last legs, with a 1.9 rating and 5.3 million viewers and 8.

CBS had a good night for second place. At 8, “How I Met Your Mother” averaged 8.5 million viewers and a 3.4 rating, while “Rules of Engagement” drew 8 million viewers and a 3.0 rating at 8:30. “Two and A Half Men” was still Monday’s top scripted show, with 13.2 million viewers and a 4.3 rating. “Mike and Molly” stayed strong with a 3.5 rating and 10.7 million viewers. “Hawaii 5-0″ fell a little bit, drawing 10.5 million viewers and a 3.1 rating, to tie for first at 10.

“House” was typically strong for Fox, with a 3.6 rating and 9.5 million viewers, but the network was again brought down by “Lie to Me,” which fell to just under a 2.0 rating and 5.5 million viewers–a sure sign the show is in trouble.

So much for all those rumors that he was done and it was done.

Charlie Sheen has signed on for at least two more seasons of the comedy “Two and a Half Men,” according to reports.

And not only is he not leaving the show, he’s being paid more than any other actor. Variety reports that Sheen will become the highest paid person on television when he gets $2 million per episode next season.

“To put a fitting end on the 2 1/2 months of whirlwind speculation, I’m looking forward to returning to my CBS home on Monday nights,” Sheen, 44, said in a statement.

Yesterday’s 61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards ceremony really got us excited about the fall TV season, and tonight is going to triple that feeling.

“House” premieres at 8 p.m. on FOX, alongside “Heroes” on NBC, “Dancing with the Stars” on ABC and “How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. Your DVR can usually only record two shows, so good luck.

At 8:30, check out “Accidentally on Purpose” on CBS. The jury’s still out on it, so let us know what you think in the comments section.

Then at 9 we have “Two and a Half Men.” Comedy Central is also starting to show “Scrubs” season 8.

“The Big Bang Theory,” has its season premiere at 9:30 on CBS.

Things get going again at 10 with “Castle” on ABC and “CSI: Miami” on CBS. Travel Channel’s “Madventures” also starts up at 10.

Also, tonight at 10, we have the premiere of a 5-part miniseries on The Sundance Channel. “Brick City,” is executive produced by Forest Whitaker.

Finally, don’t miss The Late Show with David Letterman tonight with special guest (actually) President Barack Obama.