Warning: Oh Crave Entertainment … I’m so sorry. This a complete rant. I’m glad you put Pinochle into your game, but you failed to account for house rules. And Pinochle players take their game very seriously.

Normally, the chance to play Pinochle on my PlayStation would make me jump up and down and recommend the game no matter what the shortcomings.

But no. They messed up the rules.

Well clearly the integration with the PlayStation 2 Eye Toy and challenging others over broadband would just be awesome.

But no. I don’t think anyone actually owns the game.

Then, surely a challenging computer opponent and feisty computer teammate would result in hours of addictive entertainment in your game package, which includes Spades, Hearts, Rummy, bridge, Crazy 8′s and 10 kinds of Solitaire, right? No, no, NO, god dammit, NO.

How on Earth do you muck up CARDS? CARDS? It’s one of the most basic principles of video games. People have been doing it in computer games forever, and I have been reviewing card games since I was 13 years old. (The awful, awful writing is evident.)

Pinochle. It is my family game. I’ve been playing it since I was 4 years old, and I’m escatic to see it in a PlayStation 2 video game, but there are just two problems. The first problem is that the artificial intelligence is not intelligent, usually just throwing out cards without much strategy. And forget about online play.

Second of all, the rules are different and can’t be changed. Yes, I know there are more house rules and family rules in Pinochle than Monopoly, but I play a pretty standard (I think) game. Min. bid is 150, single deck, no passing cards, no auction bidding. In some games, I’ve seen players use two decks and teams pass cards around, but I’ve only seen card passing with double deck.

In World Championship Cards, bidding starts at 15 instead of 150, (manageable) and four cards get passed between the teammates who take the bid (stupid). Still, it’s Pinochle getting some sort of commercial recognition. I think it should be an Olympic sport, personally, or at least on ESPN with million-dollar tournaments.

Here’s the bottom line before I shut myself up finally. The AI isn’t smart, some of the rules are different, like no jokers in the game spades, but there’s enough of a variety to potentially justify spending the $7 that Amazon’s sellers are asking for the game. That is, of course, if you need another video card game product. Of course you do.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, folks. We’ve been very, very nice to Electronic Arts lately, particularly giving them high marks for their E3 lineup, but this is just off.

Electronic Arts’ Casual Entertainment Label announced the release of Solitaire For Dummies, the second “For Dummies” game themed on the popular books. The game, available on Pogo.com, lets you play 10 different solitaire games like Klondike (Windows Solitaire), Pyramid, Scorpion, etc. It also gives you how-to, practice and play modes so you can learn the basics.

Cool so far.

They want $20 for it.

Come now. You already have Klondike on Windows, and there are literally hundreds of similar solitaire games out there for download and web play, mostly for free. This should be no more than $4.99.

The first title in the series, Poker For Dummies is also available and lets you play Texas Hold’Em, Omaha and Seven-Card Stud, with learning modes included also. This is also great, but you can still do that on FullTiltPoker.com and Pokerstars.com (Well, .net anyway) for free.

A DS title, Travel Games For Dummies, features crossword puzzles, Sudoku, and solitaire, and will be available in November.

I just think price is the kill factor with the solitaire game.

But we still are in love with Lightbox, so here’s a gallery: