With anticipated season premiers debuting on rival networks, USA network had its work cut out for it this summer.  However, with its dark horse cult classic "Burn Notice" returning for a fourth season, apparently the network decided to rest on its laurels and let their other original programming fall by the wayside in terms of wit and plot quality.  This is most noticeable with the Season 2 premier of “Royal Pains.”

The season 2 opener starts off by reviewing the mediocrity that took place in season one:

I couldn’t cut it as a doctor for the working class, guess I’ll just have to work for the R.A.H.‘s (Rich As Hell’s) in the Hamptons.  But here’s the kicker…I make HOUSECALLS!!!! Now that’s what I call a twist!  But uh oh, the Millionaire who is completely funding my career doesn’t completely have faith in me! What do I do? Hope I can get enough clients to pay my medical expenses out-of-pocket so I can keep this hoax of a career going! (Question: Who the hell has a 4 million dollar home in the Hamptons, but doesn’t have an HMO?)

In case you’re new to the show, it stars Mark Feuerstein who plays Hank, the main character still questioning his skills as a doctor after he loses a patient. Hank must find a way to support his struggling new "House call MD" business, pay his phenomenally gorgeous Physician’s Assistant, Divya played by Reshma Shetty, and somehow keep his frat boy brother/Chief Financial Officer in check.  Hank’s brother, Evan played by Paulo Costanzo (yeah, the stoner from “Road Trip”) does an adequate job in the series portraying himself as the lovable scam-artist, who can talk his way into anything (except a decent series).

There isn’t a large, cliffhanger form season 1 to resolve, making the premier somewhat lackluster. The biggest unresolved problem is that Hank and Evan‘s Dad has ripped off whatever working capital they had in a shady transaction for an EKG machine. Hard-hitting stuff. The financial blow sends "Evan" into a whirlwind of emotions and naivety, culminating with a reuniting of father and sons at the show’s conclusion.

The episode’s sub-plot is focused around a man who has inherited a mansion from his father, an inventor of innovative products.  The son, Spencer, an infomercial spokesperson, (think: a younger, fatter Ron Popeil) hires Hank as his personal doc.  Spencer experiences a series of curious symptoms but only has them while in the basement of his newly acquired multimillion-dollar estate.

With the first episode under wraps, the acting is promising, but if the writing continues to be a watered down “Burn Notice” knock-off, then I’m sure it will go the way of “White Collar” What’s that? What’dya mean, “White Collar” is still on the air?

The first season of Royal Pains is coming to an end and in celebration of the finale next Thursday at 10 p.m. the cast and crew produced a music video. Here’s “THE ROYAL PAINS WRAP RAP” by TWO LIVE JEW & THE RP CREW

Lyrics to the Royal Pains “Wrap Rap”:

Spoken: Yeah girl… I’m gonna examine you good. This Divya and this my opthalmascope…

Ahhh!
No signs of papilledema,
No increased intracranial pressure.
Say AHH stick your tongue out.
AHH!
No abnormality of the soft palate muscles,
The uvula is midline. Midline!
Glossopharyngeal nerve is intact,
No masses in the neck or thyroid,
Lungs, heart, abdomen are normal,
Repeat the words: ball, flag, tree!
Cat box cup…
Ball, flag, tree!
Car bell juice…
Ball, flag, tree!
Pen shoe jar…
Ball, flag, tree!
Count backwards from 100 by 7′s.
93, 54, 62, 63…
No neurological abnormality,
No explanation for her hallucinating.
Let’s take it up a notch!
Repeat the words: ball, flag, tree.
Ball, flag, tree!
Car bell juice.
Ball, flag, tree!
Pen shoe jar.
Ball, flag, tree! x 15
Let’s take it up a notch!

There’s a new doctor in town. We’re talking the Hamptons “" Easthampton and Southampton, two seaside towns comprising the south fork of Long Island. Known as a playground for the rich and famous, the Hamptons are a place to see and be seen, where the wealthy go to flaunt and mingle.

Meet Hank Lawson “" a talented young doctor in New York City. Hank is a do-good kind of man who finds himself unemployed after an unfortunate incident in which he chooses to treat an injured basketball buddy over serving the needs of a haughty hospital board member who ended up dying as a result. Meet Evan Lawson, Hank’s younger, and completely opposite, brother. Accountant by day, Evan is an opportunity-seeking, lady loving schmooze determined to pick Hank up from his recent defeat.

“Royal Pains,” debuting June 4 on USA, chronicles what ensues after Hank and Evan land in the Hamptons and Hank’s professional expertise takes on a whole new life. In a recent interview with Blast Magazine, executive producer Andrew Rauch and writer/co-executive producer Michael Lenchewski detailed the creative process and inspiration behind “Royal Pains.”

A friend of Rauch’s hired a “concierge doctor” and thought it might be a decent idea for a television show. A perfect idea, in Rauch’s opinion, and shortly thereafter the pilot was written and picked up by USA.

Mark Feuerstein, whose credits include parts in “What Women Want” and “In Her Shoes,” brings Hank Lawson to life. With great sensitivity and depth, Feuerstein is able to depict a relate-able and down-to-earth character, yet also fashions this unfamiliar notion of a concierge doctor into what seems like an idea that has existed forever.

“When you have great writing, honestly, there’s no challenges” says Feuerstein. “You just try to serve the material”¦ relax into it, and pronounce words like xanthochromia.”

With gentle force, Evan, played by Paulo Costanzo, persuades a slightly depressed Hank to accompany him to the Hamptons as an escape. While there, the two are at a party thrown by “Boris” a mysteriously powerful character played by Campbell Scott. During the evening, Hank inadvertently finds himself as a hero as he saves the life of a fashion model. As a result, Lawson becomes the Hamptons’ newest on-call doctor and, with the enthusiasm and brains of his brother, develops “HankMed.” Serving both the wealthy and not so wealthy, Hank negotiates the blurred moral line of moneymaking and doing good.

Lenchewski deems medicine “the great equalizer” giving us the notion that, even in the Hamptons, wealth is nothing if you don’t have your health. Rauch describes “Royal Pains” as “much more than medicine”¦ in that it’s not just about healing sickness, it’s about healing people. It’s also a relationship show and, because it’s on USA, it’s very strong in character.”

Not just another doctor show, “Royal Pains” brings the hospital to the patient, and in this manner the viewer gets glimpse after glimpse into the personal and not always glamorous life of the rich and famous. Described as a “medical McGyver” Hank Lawson never fails to surprise, even himself sometimes, and in doing so brings fresh air to a somewhat stuffy Hamptons’ environment.

Costanzo delivers perfect comedic relief in the form of Evan, and makes the viewer yearn to jump on the Jitney, don some party clothes, and tag along. Throw in several strong female characters “" a love interest, a physician’s assistant, and a woman nicknamed “New Parts Newberg” “" and USA has developed a cast and story line certainly not lacking dimension.

Tune in to USA at 10/9 central on Thursday, June 4 (immediately following “Burn Notice”) to watch the premiere of “Royal Pains.”