I’ve always had this theory. In the beginning of every year, there’s that strange lull until we get new quality games, and perhaps it’s a bit unfair, but those games set the tone for what the rest of the year will be like. Terrible games are relaesed first? Get ready for a dissapointing year, but if we get good quality games within the first major release week, then that’s a different story.

If The Darkness 2, the new shooter from 2K games is any indication — we’re about to have a great year. Now, don’t get me wrong — it’s not perfect, but it’s fun, over the top and gory fun layered on top of quality writing and fine tuned mechanics. The Darkness 2 sets 2012 off to the right path.

The Darkness 2 is of course a direct sequel to the 2007 shooter based off of the Top Cow comic book series of the same name created by Marc Silvestri, Garth Ennis, and David Wohl. If you haven’t experienced either here’s a bit of a primer; the titular Darkness is an ancient mystical force that allows the one who posseses it access to a mysterious dimension and control over the darkling creatures that reside there.

The Darkness has currently chosen low life gangster and hitman Jackie Estacado as its host, and he’s parlayed that into a full takeover of his mob family — but of course things aren’t that easy. The Darkness 2 starts off with an attack on Jackie and the mob family, and a mysterious man trying to control the Darkness.

So what does that mean for you? Mainly lots of killing, maiming and shooting — luckily it’s all done so well. You’ll start out just as you do with any other shooter, but when The Darkness starts to beg Jackie to let it out again, that’s when the game starts to retain an identity all its own. The Darkness portrays itself mostly as two giant snake like creatures that portrude from your back, and proceed to make your enemies lives a living hell. 2K and Digital Extremes has done a great job making the actual Darkness abilities make you feel like an unstoppable force, which goes a long way in making the game feel so incredibly rewarding.

Take one of the game’s earlier levels, which finds you traveling through a subway system battling a litteral army of thugs. Not only can you use your average guns to take them out, but The Darkness adds a slew of cool abilities to your repertoire. Slash at them violently, grab them, literally rip them apart, take objects as cover — you can even summon darkling creatures to attack your enemies, and apparently they speak with an English accent.

The Darkness 2 also features an RPG style leveling system which allows you to use dark essence from your downed enemies to make your Darkness abilities even more powerful. One of the first abilities you’ll unlock is key — the ability to eat the hearts of your downed enemies to regain health, but I found that if I wasn’t led to a powerup that I absolutley needed, I never really really found myself going out of my way to level up these abilities. The Darkness 2 often felt like it could be finsished without even touching some of these abilities.

Perhaps that’s the Darkness 2′s biggest downfall — there’s just not a ton of content here. The single player game can be finished in a matter of hours, and there’s not really any reason to jump back in after you’ve finished it. Strangely, the multiplayer suite from the first game has been scrapped, but there is a respectable co-op mode, still though, it could turn a lot of online gaming focused players off from an otherwise entertaining shooter.

The visuals of The Darkness 2 though are remarkably well done. Rather than go for a phot realistic look, the folks at 2K and Digital Extremes have gone a route that makes The Darkness 2 look like the living embodiment of a comic book. The environments are all created as you’d expect, and then given a cell shading-esque top layer, which works very well for a game of this style.

Blast Factor:The Darkness 2 might not be a perfect shooter, but it’s an absolute blast and a great start to 2012. It’s violent, fun and performs well in some of the most hectic situations — we just wish there was more of it. If you like shooter, pulp and gratious violence, do yourself a favor and unleash The Darkness.

Julia (Lizzy Caplan) reluctantly represents the cutesy Jessica Day (Zooey Deschanel)

A show’s longevity can often be a testament to the respect for the fan base. Writers with their ear to the ground earn the privilege of long careers for being flexible, maintaining the ebb and flow between art and viewer. Nowadays, audience feedback has exponentially increased with the advent of blogs and message boards. Opinions don’t go unexpressed by the internet generation. Trends are cooked up in mere minutes and memes become notorious within just a few clicks.

So it should come as no shock that the folks at “New Girl” are privy to the cyber-rage being leveled at their leading lady. To be frank, Zooey Deschanel has done nothing to directly warrant the diss-heavy rhetoric of these incensed commentators, but the persona she embodies ruffles some feathers. She’s the eternal optimist. She’s the girl who bakes cookies and cupcakes “just ’cause.” As she confesses in tonight’s episode, “she’s probably touched glitter in the last 24 hours.” It’s sickening just how cheerful she can be and that provokes intense hatred among cynics and pragmatists the world over.

Tonight, creator Elizabeth Meriwether and writer Luvh Rahke fired back. Meta-commentary, or the act of referencing a show’s flaws/quirks/distinct qualities within the show itself, has become an integral evolution of the sitcom, especially with the new advent of the the single-camera comedy. When you can poke fun at yourself, you earn not only the respect of your detractors, but you embolden your apologists. Lizzy Caplan, introduced last week as Nick’s “we don’t like labels, but we have sex” partner, Julia, served as the mouthpiece for those disgusted by Jess’ sunny disposition. Eager to have another female in the apartment, Jess tries to befriend Julia. She asks the competent lawyer for her counsel in appealing a traffic violation. When they sit down to discuss the parameters of the incident, Julia draws first blood.

Jess recalls the incident, stating that the violation occurred when she stopped in the middle of the road to rescue an injured bird. In disbelief, Julia remarks to Jess that her “whole thing” might just help in court. Here’s a Girl-speak refresher course for you: “whole thing” is code for a defect in another’s girl personality, potentially a front for a more preferable personality type. She also adds that the big eyes resemble a “scared baby.” In laymen’s terms she passive-agressively told Jess, she thinks she’s weird. To combat her guilt, after she read Jess’ pained expression, Julia then confides in her, asking if she can share about Nick’s activity with other girls. When Jess takes the high road, deciding to not violate her trust with Nick, it begins a tale as old as time. The Girly Girl vs. The Smart Girl. Ring the bell.

Now, I too have been critical of Jess, but I never directed that frustration at Ms. Deschanel. Her charm, and magnetic screen presence should make other envious, and her sense of humor is unique and she owns it. My problem is as written she often acts so naive, she should be dead. But as this episode suggests, I believe her behavior is a lifestyle, a decision to embrace the loveliness in the mundane, to elevate the pretty to a level of equal importance with the substantial. This can be an interesting route to go comedically, because you can play with how her world affects her perception, and how she reconciles the inevitable conflicts that call her idealism into question.

Along with these ambitious efforts, there was also some silliness spread amongst out male trio. Nick was essentially entangled in the Jess/Julia standoff, but he had the privilege of backing off and letting it play out. However, he encountered some struggles of his own when Jess in a moment of atypical spite, deliberately told Nick that Julia inquired about his recent sexual activities. When he confronts Julia, they both try to maintain leverage, each one-upping the other’s claims of copious amounts of sex. By episode’s end, both have conceded they wish to be exclusive, dissolving their facades. Nick delivered many of his patented “trying too hard” non sequiturs, but he drew the most fervor from Schmidt when he admitted to using his towel unintentionally. Though he doesn’t understand the outrage. “Oh come on, I don’t wash towels, the towel washes me!” “You guys don’t share underpants either? That’s what roommates do!”

Schmidt, still my vote for new comedy MVP, launched a crusade on dampness. His theory is that with more girls in the apartment, his towel has gotten damper, and his fortress of cleanliness had been disturbed. At first, I was weary of this plot. I love me some Schmidt getting flustered, but I didn’t want this minute conflict to diminish the progress made two weeks ago where Schmidt opened up about what he really wants. Alas, my faith was rewarded, and we get a stellar scene where Schmidt in attempting to traverse the living area, sans towel, slips, exposing himself: his junk and his true feelings. In a fit of consternation, Schmidt voices his unmet expectations about living with Jess. He thought he would be having way more sex! Ha! Oh, New Girl, just when I thought Schmidt was going to level with us again, he rips a page out of Douchebag 101. I think the balance between these neurotic, douchey, and more vulnerable characteristics are superb, and should be all means be encouraged in the weeks to come.

Even Winston, gets a spotlight. I still feel as though we know far too little of who Winston is outside of a man without a country. That country used to be Latvia, where he was a humongous star with several endorsements. But now, not only is he jobless, but he must confront his insecurities. Without the glamour of his pro ball career, he has no game with the ladies. In an attempt to relive his glory days, he calls up Shelby, former booty call. In a bit of comic genius, it’s slowly revealed to us that Winston has broken all the cardinal rules of dating. First, he met up with her at HER OWN RESTAURANT, he made her get her own drink (water), and he talked about himself the whole time. Mad rusty. Shutting out any advice from Schmidt, Jess serves him some humble pie. She demands he listen to her, that he swallow his pride and realize he has no game, and admit that he was an idiot for using her before. The apprentice then shines by insisting Shelby tell him all that he has missed, and he fully claims responsibility for being a jerk in the past. The humility angle works and he scores a second date. His victory dance is so disturbing (and hilarious)that it almost alarmed her to point where she thought he might be having a seizure, but baby steps. That goes for the series too. It’s proceeding cautiously with Winston, unsure of what his identity can be apart from how he relates to his buddies and who he once was, but by humbling him, they have opened the door for post-Latvia Winston.

So who come out victorious in the showdown of frills vs. wit? Surprisingly, the winner wore a ribbon hat. Reluctantly fulfilling her obligation, Julia showed up to represent Jess, but it was during the post-trial recess where Jess began her defense. Once Julia made a smarmy remark about her “bird defense” Jess pulled no punches. Self-assured, she takes pride in her propensity for cuteness, but strikes the final blow, announcing that she hates what her pantsuit represets, Julia’s feelings of superiority. She can be just as smart, and tough and strong. If Meriwether backs up Jess’ swagger in the episodes to come, then I believe we can look forward to a whole new reservoir for material.

The only worry moving forward might be that they won’t find a better anti-Jess than Lizzy Caplan’s Julia. Of course she is Nick’s squeeze for now, but when they inevitably break up (Nick’s nowhere near secure enough in himself to have a big boy relationship) we’ll lose the springboard for many great contentions. Even when they resolve their tensions in the end, and Jess invites her to crochet, Julia becomes incensed about her imprecision with the craft. Jess’ response: “If you are making a hat for a baby, you are done!” Where else can you find that kind of chemsitry? Let’s hope the well doesn’t go dry any time soon, because top-form New Girl is a thing of equal parts beauty and whimsy. For showcasing all the roommates, approaching the ambition task of meta-humor with grace and executing with tremendous payoff for Jess the character, and maintaining a level of pound-for-pound, joke-for-joke excellence, the fresh and ever-evolving “New Girl” has nearly established itself as a prizefighter in comedy circles with the back-to-back A-.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines:

- “He doesn’t believe in mail, which has to do with his views on government spending.”

- “I’m gonna smack that lawyer learning right out of her mouth.”

- “I’ll be putting my dehumidifier and my towel in my room, where nothing gets wet.”

- “Did you just hear the words ‘lesbian community’ and come rushing out of your room?”

- “I’m like a mailman. Except instead of mail, it’s hot sex I deliver.”    Wow, two mail jokes!

- ” If I acted like you at work, my students would turn in weird, really dark dioramas.”

- “I’m about to pay this $500 fine and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch.”

- “As a lesbian gynecologist, perhaps we should sit down and talk about our OSI….oh, our shared interests.”

My dad loves football, but he finds football video games too complicated. I can’t really blame him either; I’ve tried to get him into Madden, but when you really break the 800 LB gorilla of a gaming franchise down, it’s tough to explain; even if it is second nature when playing. That’s exactly why NFL Blitz works so well — it’s America’s favorite game (Yeah, that’s right, I said it baseball) boiled down to its most basic elements.

Now, after years of being absent, the arcade style footballer returns; in all of its glory — well, sort of. It’s still just as frantic and fun as you remember, but it also comes during a turbulent time in the NFL, once that changes the very landscape and identity of what NFL Blitz is. Still, if you have even the slightest love for NFL Football, Blitz is a blast, especially played with friends.

If you’ve never played NFL Blitz, it’s basically a suped up version of Madden. The players are bigger and ripped with muscles and the plays more explosive. The game nixes strategy and philosophy for over-the-top action and adrenaline. In Blitz, there are no penalties, teams can catch on fire and it takes 30 yards for a first down rather than the standard ten yards.

The action in Blitz is fast, fun and in-your-face. It’s not uncommon to have score upwards of 30 points in the first quarter, and you’re bound to jump off your feet at least a few times. This is where Blitz excels, there’s never really a dull moment, and it gets even better when you’re playing against friends. This is the type of game that friendships are tested on, as it’s extremely fun to play against your friends in Blitz. Think throwing the game winning hail mary in Madden is fun? Imagine the thrill of doing it in Blitz, complete with players on fire and jumping clean over their opponents.

The most impressive aspect of Blitz is how much it retains the original arcade feel. Games are quick and easy for anyone to jump in and pick up and play. Perhaps more impressive, they’re also just as easy for anyone to win. It’s this accessibility that seems to be missing from most other current gen sports games. Blitz even features the old school Midway style codes to be entered at the versus screen for effects like different stadiums, characters and effects.

This isn’t however, the NFL Blitz of old, not completely anyways. The NFL is a much different league than we saw when the last entry in the series was released and that’s something that Blitz both falls victim to and benefits from at the same time. This season, the NFL has been tougher on late hits, and as a result, you won’t be able to stop your opponent’s touchdown celebration with a late, bone jarring hit. Sure, the hits in Blitz are ferocious enough, (come on, I delivered a piledriver to a Quarterback during a sack) but the late hits were a big part of the original games.

Aside from the Play Now option, you’re bound to get the majority of playtime from the game’s Blitz Gauntlet mode. Similar to modes found in games like NBA Jam and Mortal Kombat, you’ll face off with teams in a ladder format, with bosses mixed in. These bosses range from fictional characters (zombies) to team inspired creations (my Packers for instance had to face off with guys in overalls, Packer Jerseys and cheeseheads). These boss battles also feature powerups spread throughout the field, which makes them feel different than your standard games. There’s also a trading card game similar to that found in Madden, but I didn’t like it there and I don’t here either.

Tim Kitzrow from the original Blitz and NBA Jam games makes his return, and is just as entertaining as ever. Him and his announcing partner openly mock pop culture, including games, which includes Blitz. My favorite was when the two said that next year they’re going to audition for Madden because it pays more. Visually, NFL Blitz is on par with what you’d expect, though I was a bit disappointed at the lack of detail in some of the player’s faces. Sure, sometimes Aaron Rodgers looks like himself in the game, but others he just looks like another nameless, faceless NFL Quarterback.

The Blast Factor:NFL Blitz proves that arcade style sports gaming still has a place in modern gaming. It’s a blast to play, especially with other human players, and its accessibility makes it easy for just about anyone to jump in and play. . If you’ve got even the most slightest affinity for the sport or multiplayer gaming — you owe it to yourself to check out this modern day revival.

Tagging alongside the massive undertaking by Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson, “The Adventures of Tintin: The Game” attempts to capitalize on the undeniable hype surrounding the blockbuster film. It may be easy to categorize this game in the same spectrum as the unavoidable horrible movie tie-ins that come with nearly any marketable film. However, by shrinking its audience down to the younger fans of the film, Ubisoft has produced a not so terrible game tie in that may just please some of the more devoted fans of the Belgian journalist.

As is the case with many of these games, the story mimics that of the movie it is based on. There is no deviation from the plot and no interesting spin offs in order to show any further development of the characters. Worse, the game actually expects you to have seen the film before playing it, skipping over some not- so-important plot points in order to get you back in the action. It can feel heavily rushed at times.

Nonetheless, where the story fails to develop past the established base, the gameplay takes in interesting twist on how it captures the events of the film. The bulk of the game places Tintin in a 2D plane where he is able to ascend and descend levels at designated areas in order to avoid enemies. When they do spot you he combat is moronic at best, with the majority of enemies being taken down by a simple shake of the Wiimote. Certain bad guys will be more heavily armored and will require the use of projectile items to defeat them. When everything is working it plays like a simplified Metroid with some Metal Gear Solid elements, yet fails to craft the same level of challenge as those games. Bringing in another partner for co-op only makes the experience easier.

At about half way through the game, vehicles start coming more into play, with extended segments placing you behind the wheel of a biplane, motorcycle, and human torpedo. Unfortunately, the vehicles control like a blind whale with horrible turn angles and unnatural handling. The small joy you feel when the game sends other biplanes at you for some dogfighting action is quickly subdued as you have to fight with the plane you are controlling more than the actual enemy.

There is some rudimentary puzzle solving included as well as small segments where you play as Tintin’s trusty dog, Snowy. While entertaining, they wear thin by the end of the game and fail to add any more replay value to the already short adventure (clocking in at about 4 hours).
Another method of breaking up the action is by means of a flashback sequence in which you play as the Captain of the doomed Unicorn. In it you have a rudimentary, on rails swordfight against some pirates. Here is where some Wii Motion Plus action comes into play as the sword you are holding is highly responsive. It is a shame, then, that you can easily beat most bad guys by shaking it frantically. However, if you are willing to take it seriously, it can be a bit of fun.
In the end, after setting aside all the negative praise, you find yourself with a rather charming little game. It is functional, and the animations are pretty to look at. There seems to have been some genuine effort put behind this project, unlike most movie tie-ins. When it comes down to the grind, this is not worth forty dollars, but any kid who loved the movie will find certain enjoyment out of this title.

Blast Factor: Despite its unavoidable flaws, “The Adventures of Tintin” for the Wii is a functional game. The gameplay is enjoyable and varied and the environments have some charm. It is not made for the average gamer, with the challenge present being minimal for anyone who has played a game in the past ten years. However, it is sure to please any young Tintin fans as they find it wrapped at the foot of the Christmas tree.

In the past, THQ and Volition’s Saints Row series has been the equivalent of the Scary Movie films. They take something successful and loved, in this case the Grand Theft Auto series and mock it for all its worth. Sure, it’s passable, but it never sets its sights higher than being a goofy version of something that came before it. Until now that is.

With Saints Row: The Third, Volition has thrown caution (and pretty much everything else to the wind) and carved out a brand new identity for its goofy open world action game. Sure, you’re still going steal cars and run amok in a large virtual city, but the heart of the latest Saints Row comes with its new over-the-top action move direction that’s created some of my favorite gaming moments of this year. Perhaps it’s fitting that Saints Row’s defining moment came in its third game, just as it did for the series that it once emulated.

At the end of Saints Row 2, the Third Street Saints have defeated all of their rivals and have thus turned their once little street gang into a media empire. They’re spokesmen for Japanese Energy drinks, they’re on billboards – they’re targets.  It’s in a routine bank heist, with an actor looking to “do some research” for the upcoming Saints movie that things go awry. The bank tellers begin to fight back and it’s not long before the Saints find themselves in jail. Just when the Saints are beginning to doubt what they’ve become, an organization known as The Syndicate bribes the cops and lets the Saints out and the organization’s leader, business man Philippe Loren attempts to make a deal with the Saints; give up two thirds of their revenue and he’ll let them live. Of course, that doesn’t sit well with the our anti-heroes, who stage one of the most off the wall escapes in gaming history and Saints Row: The Third begins proper.

Well, to be honest, any Saints Row game before this one would have began there, but the moments before this scene set the stage for some of the game’s big changes. You’ll start by creating your character, and while not all of your options are open to you at first, throughout the game you’ll be able to create some truly out there characters. I started out with a well dressed and dapper Spaniard with a unibrow and several moles, but as the game worse on he became something else entirely; a cross dressing clown with pigtails and blood dripping down his face.  Saints Row: The Third truly lets players create whoever they want to be their lead character, including zombies. Yes. Zombies.

The core gameplay of Saints Row: The Third remains the same, take cars and run amok in an open world city while trying to make a name for yourself, and it’s deeply satisfying – for the most part. The new city of Steelport is a large one filled with vastly different sections of the city, like the bustling downtown filled with lights and illuminated billboards, the residential section and the industrial section. I often found myself just finding cars and driving around the city, just to see what I could find. Handling is more forgiving like Grand Theft Auto III and it’s spinoffs than the realistic Grand Theft Auto IV, so you’ll be able to have a lot more fun driving around and not have to worry quite as much about taking those turns as 90 MPH.

Where Saints Row: The Third really makes its mark though is with its new over-the-top action sequences. Finally carving out its own identity, Volition has presented a number of high octane moments that are a complete blast to play. Take for instance that scene where the Saints attempt to rob the bank, it starts off as you’d expect, going through and shooting everything in your path, but it soon turns into something that like nothing you’ve ever played before.  Before long you’re jumping from building to building Uncharted style and hanging from a safe that’s being hoisted from the building via helicopter. You’ll also parachute into a crowded party and much more. It’s almost impossible to play through these missions without a smile on your face – or much more, laughing loudly.

Perhaps that’s the real genius of Saints Row: The Third, even while creating its own identity, the game never loses sight of its roots and never takes itself too seriously, keeping its comedy fully intact. The game manages to mock not only games like Grand Theft Auto but movies, music, pop culture and even itself. Throughout the game you’ll catsit a lion, take out furries and even visit a Tron inspired world. I firmly believe that the real appeal of any open world game like this is to be the biggest douche-bag you can be, and Saints Row does that perfectly by allowing me to summon an airstrike against an entire city…while being completely naked.

It’s also remarkable how Volition has managed to integrate the music into the game’s core experience. Parachuting into a crowded party would be exciting enough with a royalty free guitar riff behind it, but when you put Kanye West’s “Power” behind it, the scene becomes something different entirely, it becomes a spectacle. The game is filled with these moments, in fact one of my favorite moments of the year comes early in the game, if you turn your car’s radio to a specific station, the characters will sing the entire song “What I got” by Sublime. When it happened, I had to stop what I was doing and just watch the game, it’s an even bigger feat when you take into account that the game allows you to choose between three different voices for your character.

Aside from the game’s main missions, there’s tons to do in Saints Row: The Third. You can commit insurance fraud, surf on jet planes and even get a sex change. The game also features a number of different modes including the aptly titled “Whored Mode” (yes, you read that right) and a pretty fun multiplayer suite.  Saints Row: The Third is an adult playground that drops you in and lets you do well….pretty much whatever you want.

The Blast Factor: In the past, it was easy to cast off Saints Row. It’s just a funny Grand Theft Auto clone. It’s uninspired. Now though, thanks to a series of improvements and most importantly the series finally carving out its own identity, it’s almost impossible to ignore Saints Row: The Third. It’s a tongue-in-cheek thrill ride that gives the player ultimate freedom. It may not be perfect but it’s easily the best game of the series.

Most racing games flaunt their cars. They flaunt the insane amount of rides, how realistic they are and what it feels like to drive them. Need For Speed: The Run is different though. The cars seem like an afterthought in favor of…the ability to get out of the car.

Yeah, you can see where this is going.

In a year with two quality Need For Speed games and a slew of other high quality racing titles, Need For Speed: The Run feels like a step back, a fraud almost. The actual racing mechanics themselves feel lackluster when compared to similar games and even the Hollywood blockbuster style storyline feels boring and uninspired. The Run could have been a quality action romp, but instead it’s one of the most disappointing games of the year.

From the get-go, The Run could have been great. The game, which finds you as a contestant in a cross country race from San Francisco to New York, is basically a rehash of the 1981 Bruce Willis movie  Cannonball  Run. In truth, there’s nothing wrong with that – the game takes you on some pretty cool trips, from the hills of San Francisco to the fields of Middle America, the tunnels of Chicago and finally the bustling streets of New York City.  The game recreates these locales in pretty impressive styles and most looks just as you’d expect it to.

To the developers credit, they manage to get some pretty varied (well, at least early in the game) missions into these locales. In some stages you’ll be pitted against a clock because you’ll need to make up time against other racers, and others you’ll have to avoid cops and gangsters in Hollywood style action sequences.  They’re really well done, but odds are you won’t notice; these sequences are presented as QuickTime events, so you’ll be more focused on pounding on the button that appears in the corner of the screen to fully enjoy what the developers have done here.

It’s a shame then that this Hollywood style treatment isn’t found throughout the entire game; namely the plot…or lack thereof.  Everything in Need For Speed: The Run feels incredibly scripted and as a result, less than thrilling. There’s no room for error in this incredibly linear tale as you’ll always need to complete each of the game’s objectives in the right order to move on or your trying again. Cops and other NPCs all behave and speak the same way, and in some sections it doesn’t matter what you do, the game shoehorns you into quicktime event action sequences.

The most disappointing aspect of The Run is just how few of options there truly are. You can’t fine tune your car or buy new parts for it; hell – customization is completely gone here. You’ll pick up new cars along the road and in gas stations, but if you don’t like them, your only option is to wait until you find a new one. This takes a lot of the replay value out of the game when compared to other Need For Speed games, and is especially apparent in the online mode. No longer are you racing against player’s own creations, you’re just racing against pre-made cars with attributes set by the computer. Where’s the fun in that?

Of course, this would all be forgivable if The Run was a great driving game, but it’s not…it’s not even a decent one. Gone are the fine tuned machines and mechanics from previous games in favor of arcade style controls that feel tacked on. Cars often feel floaty as if they don’t have any weight to them and handling can be incredibly frustrating.  It’s often that you’ll be chased by a group of pursuers, making good time, but be screwed over by one curve and have to start the whole race over again.

The Blast Factor: Need For Speed: Shift and Hot Pursuit served as rebirths for a racing franchise that had gone stale. They introduced new mechanics and were a blast to play through. In that sense The Run can only be seen as a major step back. It’s built on shoddy mechanics, goofy premises and a horribly bland story. There are plenty of great racing games on the market and this is not one of them.

For the better part of five years, I worked as  Disney cast member. I spent day after day learning the biggest secrets of a company that protects that to no end and as a result, I lost what Disney and its fan know as “the magic.” The extraordinary became mundane,  and in a weird way, I began to step away. Who knew it would take a virtual trip back to reignite my love.

In that sense, Kinect Disneyland Adventures does its job, and it does it very well; you’re constantly reminded of just what’s right about the Disney company and its brands, especially if you play with those familiar with the park. As a game though, it’s more of a mixed bag. It’s really fun and a cool demonstration of the tech behind Kinect to interact with the characters, but basic mechanics like moving around feel incredibly complicated, and will make you practically hate the experience. Still, I can’t help but recommend Kinect Disneyland Adventures for all of its charm, especially if you’re big on the park itself.

The idea behind Disneyland Adventures is simple, guide your avatar through the Disneyland park and go on adventures and quests as given to you by Disney characters. Now, this is a very idealized version of the famous theme park, there are no lines, the cast members all speak English, it’s not crowded, and you’re able to walk directly up to any of the characters at anytime. Curiously enough — there’s always a crowd around the characters, but no one — but you, ever goes up to them.  To the game’s credit, the Disneyland in the game is pretty accurate compared to the real deal; I was able to run around, without looking at the map, and get where I needed to go just based on my memory of the parks. Of course, some changes have been made for the sake of gameplay, but those are few and far between. The permanent popcorn carts and stands are even in the right place, impressive for a game that basically serves as a commercial.

The characters are also impressive in their recreations. For instance, we found Captain Hook outside of Peter Pan’s Flight in Fantasyland, and one of the options is to extend your arms in a hug motion to interact in that way with the characters, and while everyone from Mickey and Donald to Cinderella and Buzz Lightyear was happy to give a squeeze, Captain Hook (along with the rest of the Villains for that matter) were unsure of what to do and seemed very confused when we tried. Of course, this is a Disney game and every villain has a heart of gold deep down inside, so we eventually got our hug. There’s a fair number of interactions with each character, like dancing and signing autographs. The autographs are one of the game’s coolest feature, as you’ll gain points for collecting different autograph books (there’s one for heroes, one for villains, one for Princesses and so on) and getting the right characters to sign them. I was at first a bit annoyed that I had to do so much backtracking, but it became incredibly fun to dash around the parks with different books.

Each character you find will give you a different quest to go on in the park, whether it be giving something to another character, tracking something down or going to one of the attractions. The attractions are where the Kinect capabilities really come in. The rides and shows take the form of motion themed mini games, where you’ll interact with the attraction and its story. Much like The Disneyland park itself, these are idealized versions inspired by the attractions, so instead of actually going on the Matterhorn itself, you’ll be bobsledding down a hill and trying to evade the Yeti. A lot of these worlds are pretty cool, like the Haunted Mansion inspired world, which finds you hunting ghosts with a flashlight while the famous Ghost Host narrates your adventure. The worlds are given a more cell shaded look than the rest of the game, which lends a classic animation feel to them. The best part of all of this again is just how right they got everything, with the Ghost Host in the Haunted Mansion, Captain Hook and Smee in the Peter Pan levels and even the corny jokes in the Jungle Cruise section.

Now, it can be pretty hard to walk in a Disney park because of the crowds, but even though they are pretty much non existent in the game, it’s an incredibly frustrating experience just to walk. Kudos to the developers for trying to not just making it an on-rails game like most Kinect developers, but there’s simply got to be a better way. You move around the game by holding your hand up; holding it straight causes you to move forward while moving to the left or right has you moving in that direction and putting your hands to your side to stop. When it works, it’s great, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work a lot. The slightest movement will cause your character to shoot off into another direction — just hope you don’t get into a corner, as it’s going to be hell to get out of it.

Things get worse when you start unlocking different items to use like a magic wand or a megaphone. You gain these items by lifting your hand up and selecting them from a pop up wheel. While it may sound simple, the game has a hard time registering whether you’re trying to pick an item, or run forward and it’s incredibly frustrating. At one point I had the wand equipped, and saw the same teacup animate probably 20 times because the game wouldn’t register that I was just trying to put it back. On that same note, the voice controls are pretty superb. While they weren’t perfect, the game was incredibly responsive a good portion of the time.

The Blast Factor:  It may be a pain to get around, but Kinect Disneyland Adventures does its job of reminding you just why you love the  Disney parks. You’ll interact with your favorite characters, go on your favorite rides (sort of) and even find some secrets hidden around the park. The game is at its best when its played by families and kids get excited when they see their favorite characters. At the very least, it serves as a running commercial for the Parks.

Everyone’s heard the old adage “if you want something done right, you better do it yourself.” Nintendo, running out of options for its embattled 3DS system as the Holiday season quickly approaches, seems to finally have understood that as Super Mario 3D Land is not only the most impressive game on the handheld, but it could spark a revival for it. Aspiring 3DS developers take note — this is how you truly take advantage of the console’s power.

Of course, Super Mario 3D Land starts off like almost every Mario game before it; Princess Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser and its up to Mario to save her. The key here is that when she got kidnapped, she was checking on a special tree in the castle courtyard which contained the leaves that give Mario the Tanooki suit. It’s a simple story really, one that you’d expect from the franchise but it’s told via charming cut-scenes that really take advantage of the system’s 3D capabilities. In between worlds, Mario will receive photos from the Princess, detailing her predicament. These letters could be the most impressive use of the 3DS screen yet; they pop with color and vibrance.

From a gameplay standpoint, 3D Land is everything you’d expect from a Mario game — but it’s also so much more. Interestingly, it’s tough to figure just what Mario game it borrows from the most. It feels an awful lot like Super Mario 64 or Sunshine, but it also borrows a lot from NES classic Super Mario 3. Super Mario 3D Land feels like Nintendo picked the best pieces of the entire Mario history and blended them together seamlessly.  The level design is incredible and perhaps most interestingly encourages users to experiment and explore. Take one of the castles found early in the game, there’s an unassuming torch that most will just run past, but interacting with it will prove valuable in your quest. Sure you could just go from one end of the level to the other, but you’ll be missing a good portion of the experience.

On that same note though, that sense of exploration could annoy some. The goal of most Mario games has always been get from point A to point B, and for the first few worlds I did just that. Sure, I would get the occasional star coin on my way, but I was never too concerned with getting them. It was quite a shock then when later in the game I found that I needed fifty of those coins to even advance through the game. As a result, I went through the game…each level and collected the coins. While this backtracking may seem a bit annoying to some, it was here, with all of the “Aha moments” that I truly fell in love with Mario’s latest adventure. By going off the beaten path you truly get an appreciation for the amount of work Nintendo put into the game.

To be honest, for a game in such an established franchise, Super Mario 3D Land is quite the deceiving experience. It’s easiest to think of it this way; this is a game with two different sides. The first is world 1-8, almost laughably easy, you’ll get a lot of extra 1-ups (by world two I had 60 or so without even really trying) and move fast, but then after world 8 (yeah, there’s more than eight worlds), things change drastically. The platforming is tougher and you’re going to have to have to be incredibly precise in your jumps and timing. Telling you about these worlds would be a major spoiler, so you’re going to want to experience them yourself, but just be ready for the swift shift in gameplay.

Super Mario 3D is a game that is meant to be played using the system’s 3D capabilities, in fact you could go as far as to say that this is the first game for the handheld that truly takes advantage of the 3D, without it getting in the way. Using the 3D effects, you’ll be able to experience Mario’s world in a way you’ve never done. Here, it’s easier to judge the distance between blocks, jumps and it even helps get a better feel for the level design. There are certain sections (mostly near the end) that are nearly impossible to pass without using the 3D, but what’s great is that not only can you adjust the game’s 3D using the slider on the system, but during certain sections a simple press of the d-pad will adjust the d-pad even further. There is one portion of the game where the 3D does seem to get in the way though — in each world, there are binoculars somewhere and looking through them will enable you to survey the map using the 3DS’ gyroscope and if you’re one of those that gets headaches when not staring at the 3D dead on be warned, you’re going to want to turn it off before using them.

What would a Mario game be without power-ups? In Super Mario 3D Land, you’ll of course have the standard mushrooms, power stars and fire flowers, but the game introduces a few new(ish) items to the game as well.  The most prevalent of course is the returning Tanooki tail, which allows Mario to flutter and float in the air (no, it doesn’t do everything it did in Mario 3). There’s also a new boomerang suit, which allows Mario to toss a boomerang at his enemies. While it was helpful, I found myself shying away from the boomerang suit when I could in exchange for the fireflower, which itself is improved and can take out multiple enemies at once.

For a 3DS game, Super Mario 3D Land is easily the best looking on the system. Everything from the shading to the wonderful animations and crisp textures makes for an incredible sense of production. The world of Super Mario 3D Land is a bright and colorful one filled with breathtaking visuals and they all fit in the palm of your hand. The sound is just as charming as you’d expect from a Mario game, and the soundtrack is a mix of classic tunes and new mixes that are so catchy it’s damn near impossible to get them out of your head.

Most charming about the game though is the sheer level of fan service it packs. The game is full of references to previous Mario games, from the Toad House from Super Mario 3 to having to cross a bridge and jump on a switch to defeat Bowser and send him to a fiery pit below.  It’s not just Mario games that get nods here; there’s a much talked about Zelda inspired world early on in the game, and there’s  even a few instances where standing on a certain spot in a hidden room makes the Zelda discovery noise. Perhaps most impressive is just how all of this, the fan service, the excellent production values, and the fun gameplay work together to create one impressive and unforgettable experience.

The Blast Factor: Super Mario 3D Land illustrates a very important point — never count Nintendo out. After nearly ten months, a ton of disappointing games and a massive price drop, the 3DS not only has it’s first must have game, but it has one that defines the system and what it can do. Super Mario 3D Land may not be perfect, but it is the most impressive 3DS game to date, and one of the best Mario games in a long time.

I’m what you call a wallflower. Born with two left feet, it’s a hazard to many when I’m dragged on to the dance floor. Let me let you in on a little secret though; when the curtains are drawn, and mood is right — I’ve been known to cut a mean rug in front of games like Dance Central with the family. You’ll probably never see it, but it’s quite the strange site to see a grown 240 lb man shaking it to Poker Face. Dance Central and its sequel are easily the standard in the newly forming dancing genre, but Sony’s new entry Everybody Dance is a more than capable challenger to the throne. With a slick presentation and a few new bells and whistles, it could be the most surprisingly fun guilty pleasure you’ll have this year — be warned though, the more you play, the more you’ll start to pick apart its flaws.

By now you know Everybody Dance’s deal, hold the PlayStation Move controller, and shake it to a bunch of awesome music while diagrams on the screen show you what your next move will be. It’s a simple formula, but Everybody Dance may have found an incredibly simple way to improve upon it. The upper left hand corner of the screen features the song’s music video, and while it may sound distracting for the dance steps, it serves quite a useful purpose. Odds are that the majority of the people playing games like this and Dance Central aren’t the best dancers, but are looking to have a fun time. Adding in the music video seems to make those apprehensive to join in the fun a bit more since not everyone’s attention is focused directly on them. In general though, the presentation in Everybody Dance is top notch. The on-screen display is crisp and unlike games like Just Dance, they’re quite easy to follow.

Of course, any dancing game is built on just how good its track listing is, and Everybody Dance delivers here too. While other games in the genre clearly focus on one genre while throwing occasional love to others, Everybody Dance’s track list is an eclectic one to say the least. At one point you’re jamming to Rihanna, then the next you’re getting nostalgic with New Kids on the Block or even a bit romantic with Barry White.  Personally, I really enjoyed my time with Elton John’s “I’m still standing” and The Chemical Brothers, “Hey Boy, Hey Girl.”

In Everybody Dance, you can dance alone, compete against a friend or alongside them in co-op, but where the game really takes off is with its dance creator mode. Here, you can skip the game’s choreography for the game and record your own, then challenge others to dance it. This is extremely fun and novel in a number of different ways — first, people like me can record the strangest dances in the world and laugh as friends try to copy them, but it’s also great for those who can actually dance and want to show the world their choreography skills. If Everybody Dance has legs, it’ll be here.

Really, the only thing that bugged me with Everybody Dance isn’t an issue with the game itself, but the platform it’s on and its limitations. The PlayStation Move requires the controller and the Eye camera, so it begs the question — if I’m doing all of this work, trying to match up with the choreography perfectly, is it just monitoring the controller itself? Could I get by with just moving the controller somewhat similarly to the way the dancers are? Yes…and no. Most songs don’t allow you to cheat, but there were a few times when it felt like I was just able to take the easy way out. Take for instance a few cases where I was given good scores after I know I screwed up the majority of my body.

The Blast Factor: Everybody Dance is the perfect game to bring out at parties. Everyone is bound to have a good time since they’re not paying that close attention to the game’s mechanics. It’s bright, loud and so incredibly fun that even wallflowers like me are going to find it hard to resist. It may not be perfect, but Everybody Dance could be one of the biggest surprises of this holiday season.

Sonic the Hedgehog’s gaming career sounds an awful lot like an episode of E! True Hollywood Story. When he debuted for the Sega Genesis in1991, he quickly rose to super stardom; spawning everything from TV shows to action figures and even breakfast cereals – but then it all went wrong.  After a steady stream of games, some of which changed the very appeal of the character, Sonic and his growing cast of supporting characters began to wear out their welcome with the gaming public. It wasn’t long before the once proud console mascot was reduced to making cameo appearances in his one time rivals games.

Of course, even the worst True Hollywood Stories have some sort of a happy ending – and Sonic Generations is just that for the Blue Blur. Of course Sega has gone back to the well and revisited Sonic’s heyday before – but never to this level.  Not since his original 16-bit debut almost twenty years ago has Sonic felt this fast, fun and imaginative. Be warned though, much like Sonic crashing in to a wall, Generations ends with a disappointing thud and reminds you why Sonic went away in the first place.

Sonic just can’t catch a break. While celebrating his birthday with his friends, the Time Eater, a n unfamiliar enemy appears and begins to send everyone into time holes, scattering them throughout different points in history. Sonic finds himself in a bland, colorless area known as White Space where he encounters a younger and more pudgier version of himself. The two blue blurs decide that their best option is to race throughout their shared history, restore order and rescue their friends.  Naturally.

What follows is both a love letter to the Sonic universe as well as an epitaph for it. The game is split in to two sections; classic Sonic races through 2D landscapes just as you remember, and its loads of fun. There’s no question that this more than anything is where Generations shines. You’ll race through re-imagined stages from the original Sonic, like the Greenhill Zone and it all feels so natural, and so pure that it’s almost impossible to resist – and this is coming from a guy who’s childhood was heavily dominated by Nintendo consoles.

Perhaps most impressive about the classic Sonic reimagining is the amount of detail and effort that the Sonic team put into its recreation. This isn’t just an HD cleanup of the original visuals; this is a whole new look inspired by the classic. Take classic Sonic himself for instance, inspired by the spirte-based design used for the original, the Sonic Generations features an almost clay-mation like appearance and it feels an awful lot like something straight out of our childhood should feel.  To that extent, the game does suffer from a noticeable amount of slowdown when the game gets up to its top speed, an issue for a game like this.

Then there’s the other half of the game; featuring the more modern sonic levels. While still built for speed, this half of the game channels the 3D versions of the franchise, also known  as where the series went downhill.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are moments (and there always have been these moments) where 3D Sonic games work incredibly well, but they lose a lot of the original charm in the translation. Whereas classic Sonic games were built more on pure speed, games like heroes and colors feel like they really heavily on thunderous velocity, which puts the emphasis more on being destructive than the originals. Also much like the originals, the 3D iteration doesn’t do speed quite as well as its counterpart, as even the slightest error (and even sometimes without an error at all) will cause Sonic to come to a screeching halt. Most disappointing though is that these modern Sonic levels outnumber the classic ones as if Sega is trying to force us to come to terms with what the icon has become.

Regardless, the dynamic between the two Sonics is interesting to say the least. The character has always been built on an in-your-face attitude, but it’s quite fun to watch the two spar. Though he seemed very edgy at the time, classic Sonic seems tame compared to the more modern version. New Sonic seems grizzled, and hardened. He’s less edgy than he is cynical and it’s fun to see how both react to situations, especially when that dynamic shifts about midway through the game.

As you play through Generations, you’re sure to want to go back and play through levels over again to unlock extra challenges or better your time, but those who are going to get the most out of the game are those who have stayed with the hedgehog throughout his entire career as there are tons of unlockables that are sure to make you make you feel all sorts of nostalgic. These won’t really entice any non fans of the series to jump in, but it’s great for those who are dedicated.

The Blast Factor: Though half of the game is a reminder of why an icon fell, you can’t dispute just how fun Sonic Generations truly is. It’s fast, fun and everything else a Sonic game should be. Most importantly, it’s proof that Sega still cares about its biggest star, and knows how to handle him. Those who grew up in the 16-bit era will love the throw back, but really everyone should check it out.

In the coming weeks and months, you’re bound to hear a lot about the big things that make Uncharted 3 so special. You’re going to hear about the thrilling set pieces, the over the top action and the multiplayer. While these things are impressive and go a very long way in making the game what it is, they’re not what makes the game truly great. What separates Nathan Drake’s latest adventure from other action adventure games is the little touches. It’s in the way that Naughty Dog made the worlds and characters so believable, how through a combination of wonderful music, writing, pacing and gameplay, you’re going to care more about these characters than most.  

Simply put, Uncharted 3 is one of the best games I’ve ever played.

Once again you’re dumped in to a globetrotting adventure with Nathan Drake, Sully and the rest of his pals. Trying not to give away much, you’re on a quest that deals with Drake’s ancestor; Sir Francis Drake. While this may seem like business as usual for the franchise, it’s truly anything but. For the first time in franchise history, things aren’t as black and white as “we’re going here to look for treasure,” sure those moments are here, but the story is built around developing the believable relationships between characters like Drake and Sully or even the game’s new villain Katherine Marlowe. Key here is that for the first time ever, we’re actually doubting Drake’s intentions, and each of the game’s characters instantly feels much more real, and watching that story play out is incredibly interesting.

Perhaps what makes the game so incredibly riveting to watch is just how well every part of the game works in unison. The story features absolutely brilliant pacing that rivals that of Hollywood movies, and the top notch voice acting combined with the stunning score and remarkable visuals makes for a great experience. With Uncharted 3, Naughty Dog has cemented their reputation as one of the best storytellers in not just the industry, but all of popular culture.  It’s seen in the relationship reveals, the stunning plot twists that make you rethink the entire strategy, and perhaps most importantly, the game’s feeling of resonance players are sure to have each time they step away.

Gameplay wise, Uncharted 3 takes a lot from its most recent predecessor, but here, things have been fine tuned. You’ll still jump from ledge to ledge, shimmy across pipes and escape from certain death at the last minute, but somehow – it still feels fresh and new. Perhaps it’s because the game at times challenges what you think you know from the series. Take one of the game’s early stages where I was trying to follow the game’s villain, Katherine Marlowe. To get a better vantage point, I jumped on to a pole protruding from the side of the building, but before I knew it, it snapped in half, sending me to my death. It’s moments like these that caused me to stop and rethink my choices for most of the game.

The majority of Uncharted 3’s campaign is centered around gigantic, over-the-top action movie style set pieces that even outdo those of the previous game. Whether it’s clinging for dear life to a chain on the outside of an old tower or escaping a burning chateau in France, Uncharted 3 is full of moments that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.  What makes these moments so memorable is just how human Drake feels during them. Now, I’ve heard a lot of complaints about how Drake feels less human this go-round, how he can seemingly survive anything, but do you really want the opposite? Do you want to have to start over after every gunshot, every grenade toss. Drake is remarkably human and relatable because after these events, he’s huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath; amazed at what just happened.  He shows true emotion. He seems to be just as surprised at what just happened as I did. If you ask me, that’s much more human than most action games, which feature heroes who don’t even flinch in the face of danger.

I may be in the minority here, but I actually loved the melee combat in Uncharted 2, so I was a bit apprehensive when I learned they were changing it for the new game, but after only a few minutes, I found myself enjoying myself every bit as much as in the previous game. There’s now a dedicated reversal system, which goes a long way in helping change the rhythm of a fight, along with a context sensitive grab mechanic. Say you’re standing by a window, you can grab a guy and toss him out of it, or slide him down a bar you’re next to. If I had to compare it to another game, it would be that of the recently released Arkham City, which also had a stellar melee system.

Uncharted 3 is at its best when it’s doing two things, keeping me on the edge of my seat and making me care about what’s happening to its characters. The game succeeds most in both ways about midway through the game, when (hoping to avoid giving too much away) Drake is alone in the desert and you feel like you’re right alongside him. Naughty Dog does this by using a number of camera and control tricks that bring the player even more in to the game.  Go into a cave with tight passageways and the camera zooms in and stays tight on Drake, so you feel like you’re there.  Another great example is in the opening bar scene where Drake rests against the bar for a second, it’s an extremely believable animation, and doesn’t progress until the character allows it to. Nathan Drake feels less like a character, and more like a believable person.

 The Blast Factor: I play most games in a predictable fashion. I sit down, play for a few hours and then I walk away. I do anything else. I let the game brew in my head. With Uncharted 3, I couldn’t do that, every time I tried to walk away, I was pulled back. I needed to know what happens next; and that my friends is the mark of a truly excellent game. Uncharted 3 is sure to wow you with its fantastic presentation, thrilling gameplay and all around complete package. This is a game that I can’t recommend enough, and your PS3 library is not complete without it.

Regular readers here are no stranger to my strange obsession with Disney. Of course, we’re not talking the High School Musical Shake it Up version of Disney, but the old school, classic animation, Walt variety. I’m also a huge fan of Media Molecule’s Little Big Planet series of games, so when I first saw Disney Universe, which looked like a cross between the two properties, I was instantly excited – turns out I should have reigned that in a bit.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that Disney Universe is a bad game, it’s mix of platforming and collecting is great for its intended audience, but the game’s biggest problem is that it’s just simply too much; the game often feels like it’s too many ideas going on at once, and as a result, it feels overly hectic and poorly guided. Disney Universe is good for young gamers, but older fans will get frustrated quickly.

Disney Universe casts players in an admittedly unique story. Disney’s most famous worlds have been recreated in a virtual setting so people can experience them in real time, but as it seems happens with every “virtual world,” someone has hacked they’re way in and filled the worlds with dangerous creatures and hazards. Enter you – a weird looking non descript Sackboy-esque looking thing with a penchant for Disney cosplay. It’s your job to go in, eliminate the dangers and turn everything back to the way it was.

Disney Universe is broken up into worlds inspired by some of the company’s most well known movies and cartoons, like Pirate’s of the Caribbean, Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. The majority of these worlds require little thought and are of the, run around, break stuff and collect stuff variety, but there are a few interesting twists, like the Lion King stage which has you running from left to right escaping a fire. Regardless, pretty much all of the worlds are impressive in their design, as they don’t borrow directly from the properties but are inspired by them. For instance,  I had a lot of fun in the Monstropulous section of the Monsters Inc level, which featured a somewhat new take on the classic “door hopping” scene.

Perhaps Disney Universe’s most glaring issue then is how misguided it is. More often than not your goal isn’t easily laid out in front of you, and what’s going on in the game at any given moment is so hectic that you’re bound to give up and just start smashing things until it becomes more clear. This becomes even more of a problem when using four players – though that can also be the game’s most endearing quality, playing with three other friends can lead to some hectic and fun gameplay moments.

The most endearing lasting piece of Disney Universe is unquestionably the costumes and suits of classic characters found in the game. Similar to Sackboy from the Little Big Planet series, your character can don suits from a literal who’s-who in Disney history. Everyone from the fab-5, Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Pluto to lesser known characters like the Sushi chef from Monsters Inc (no, really) are here and are a blast to collect. My only gripe was that there’s far more costumes from newer properties than the classics, which is understandable given the target audience, but do we really need characters like Angelica from the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie? Throw me some Roger Rabbit or Chernobog instead. This an issue that can easily be fixed via DLC, and I’m hoping Disney Interactive offers it.

The Blast Factor: It’s easy to see the appeal for a game like Disney Universe, it’s platforming and collecting that everyone can easily jump in on. Unfortunately though, it’s ideas never really feel feely thought out, and as a result, Disney Universe often feels like a mix of a lot of good but unfinished ideas. Still, you can’t knock it’s easily accessible gameplay, especially for the little ones.

Perhaps the most telling tale of Battlefield 3’s complicated existence comes before the game even enters your system. Certain versions of the game come in multiple discs, one for the game’s multiplayer suite, which comes first – and the other for the single player. After more than a decade,  EA and DICE  surely know their audience and have justly put the majority of their time and development into the game’s online gameplay, but as a result, the single player suffers and you’re left with a mixed and uneven shooter that fails to deliver on all of the hype it’s generated since being announced. No, Battlefield 3 is not a bad game – it’s just not as good as it could be.

Before you go any further you should know something about me — I’m a single player campaign first kind of guy. Before I even touch the online multiplayer I want a game to tell me a story, I want the game to take me places, to make me care. Quite simply, Battlefield 3 failed to do that for me.  That’s not to say that there aren’t any edge-of-your-seat moments; when Battlefield 3 fires on all cylinders, it’s great action, just not great drama. Take for example on sequence early on in the game where you’re asked to take out an enemy held up in a hotel balcony. It was thrilling to run up to the top of the building and strategize with my squad-mates as to how to take them out; but for the life of me, I can’t tell you just why we were doing it.  The uninspired story of Battlefield 3 feels less like a fleshed out plot, and more like a device to move you from set piece to set piece, and they’re just not all thrilling enough to make you care. You can only take so much military jargon before you just find yourself just pointing at something and shooting.

It’s almost impossible to write this review without mentioning the 800 LB gorilla in the room – the rivalry that’s played out between Battlefield and Call of Duty over the last year. In the midst of the verbal sparring; a strange thing has happened, Battlefield has become everything they’ve spoken out against. Modes from previous Battlefield games have been removed (where’s my commander mode EA?), and the team at DICE seems insistent on making this feel like a Modern Warfare game. All of the plot points are here, the stolen nukes, the gruff commanders and the stereotypically evil Russians; hell there’s even a few missions that feel like they were lifted directly from previous editions of the rival series.  What’s most disappointing about the campaign experience is when it’s clear that they didn’t do the necessary research. In fear of spoiling some key moments, I won’t get into much detail, but there are some moments that defy military law that are sure to take you completely out of the game.

That being said, I can’t deny the sheer enjoyment I had when the campaign worked. When Battlefield 3 fires on all cylinders and gives you frantic action, it’s hard to argue that it delivers.  Lessons are learned quick in the world of Battlefield 3, like the time I was facing down a sniper and mistakenly got up from my cover in an effort to get a better vantage point, only to be instantly shot down. It’s moments like these that make Battlefield enjoyable, where you’re forced to make split second decisions in the face of a coming onslaught. These edge of your seat moments don’t come often in Battlefield 3, but when they do, they’re more than worth it.

Let’s be honest though, myself aside, the majority of gamers are going to jump in to Battlefield 3 for its online play – and this is where the game undoubtedly shines. On the PC version up to 64 players (24 on console versions) can load out in nine different maps which vary from industrial to urban and even some jungle locations. What makes these maps so interesting is not their size (though, they are quite large), but how varied in scope they are.  One map for example had me dodging sniper shots from multiple roofs, while the other had me scurrying between tunnels to try to get an advantage. Of course, this is a Battlefield game, and that means you’ll have access to plenty of vehicles, which can be a great addition to the game, but can also be a pain in the ass. Getting a vehicle, like a tank or a helicopter can turn a battle around completely, but they’re so powerful that each game becomes a mad dash to occupy each vehicle, and if you you’re not the lucky one, you better turn around and run. We also experienced a slew of issues with the EA servers while playing Battlefield online. These issues mostly cropped up with the console versions, and they’re likely to be fixed via a patch, but it was incredibly frustrating to not be able to get in to a game on launch week.

The entire Battlefield package comes together with the new Frostbite 2 engine. There’s no denying that the game is nothing short of gorgeous; from the detail on characters and buildings, to the views of the city around you. Most impressive perhaps is the level of detail Frostbite allows for in its destruction. Remember that scene early on I was talking about? The one where you’re trying to take out the enemy in the hotel? It’s extremely satisfying to watch as the entire building rumbles, smoke starts to billow out and pieces start to fall off. At times its almost impossible to not marvel at how well it all comes together. It’s not all perfect though, as we did notice a few oddly muddy textures and a bit of slowdown – especially in the console versions.

The Blast Factor: Battlefield 3 may be the toughest game I’ve yet to review; it’s majorly flawed, but at the same time, it does so much right that it’s almost impossible not to at least enjoy your time with it. After all the hype and the name calling, Battlefield 3 is here. Was it worth the wait? The easy answer is an emphatic yes; it may not be the end-all-be-all first person shooter you’re looking for, but it is a remarkable one, that you’re going to want to play – especially if you’re into multiplayer.

Battlefield 3 is available now for the PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 from EA and DICE. The Xbox 360 and PC versions of the game were used for this review and provided by the publisher.

As a kid I wanted nothing more than to be Hulk Hogan, in fact there are probably more pictures in the family album of me wearing a Hulkamania shirt than anything else –  and why not? He was the guy who made a room pop when he entered, he stood up against the bad guys for what was right, he showed no fear in the face of adversity. He trained, he prayed and he ate his vitamins.

Fast forward a few decades and much has changed. Hogan is arguably no longer the immortal icon he was before, he’s a failed reality star, slinging everything from energy drinks to grills and what’s worse – he seems to be clinging to fading glory. It wasn’t until this week that I felt his legend had hit rock bottom.

Enter Hulk Hogan’s Main Event, the Kinect based wrestling title (for lack of a better word) that makes you the protégé to the biggest name in the history of sport’s entertainment.  Long story short – it’s as bad as it sounds, in fact, it’s worse, much worse. Utterly broken and uninspired in every way, Main Event easily takes the championship as Kinect’s worst game, and that’s saying something.

The problems with Main Event start before you even pop the disc in. The game brands itself as a wrestling title, but it’s far from it. There’s no mat work, no ring psychology; no, this game is all about the entertainment aspect of the “sport.” You’ll create your superstar, who will oddly enough be noticed by the Hulkster at a backyard wrestling event, and from there you’ll work on showmanship, personality and eventually throw a few punches. This might be acceptable if you were allowed to show any spark of creativity when creating your wrestler – the entire creation suite is severely lacking; there’s no even an option for long hair. How the hell am I supposed to tease my hair ala Rick Rude to make the ladies in the crowd swoon?

The story mode in Main Event finds you attempting to climb up the ranks of a wrestling organization but being held down by an unfair booker, who is named….booker (no, really). This is told to you through a series of comic book panel like cut scenes, complete with speech bubbles. Why they didn’t just have Hogan record the lines is beyond me, but perhaps they realized how annoying the majority of the lines he did record can become. During any match, Hogan will randomly yell “inspirational” phrases your way like “You’ve got to believe in yourself” and “Nice finisher brother!” It’s important to note that Hogan seemed to yell that last one regardless of what move I was doing or what portion of the match I was in.  Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer is training to climb the giant mountain and his trainer just stands behind him and yells promotional slogans? To the Max! Push it! Yeah, it’s kind of like that, just not nearly as funny.

Yup, that's a winner.

So here’s how your typical match in Main Event goes; Your character is introduced and from there your goal is get the biggest reaction out of the crowd by posing how the Hulkster tells you to. Now don’t get too excited, this isn’t a free-for-all, you won’t be making your own poses, that’s what you have Hulk Hogan for, and you’ll be doing such thrilling maneuvers as raising your right arm (ohhh) and puffing out your chest (double ohhh!). From there, you’ll enter into a food dodging mini-game and yes, you read that right. The crowd seems insistent on pelting you with their nachos and beverages, which would make sense if you’re  a bad guy that’s getting over, but it happens every time. Every…single…time.

The game’s in-ring action finds you doing a lot of punching and kicking while throwing in a few actual wrestling maneuvers (if you count clothes lines and simple throws) for good measure. Your basic goal is to repeat your moves until your opponent is finally on the ground and ready for the pin, upon which you’ll have to do the strangest motion for a pin – moving side to side wildly. The most infuriating part of all of this is that your opponent’s health bar is constantly regenerating, so if one of your moves gets blocked, it’s back to square one.

It could be easy to forgive Hulk Hogan’s main event if the damn thing worked at all. The game is a perfect example of how not to make a motion game. Less than half of your moves are actually registered by the game, but it’s not like you really have to try, the game doesn’t really require you to do any certain moves. Oh, it tries to tell you that it does, but at certain parts I got so frustrated with the game that I began to wildly flail my arms around, and the game picked it up as whatever it wanted me to do. Air guitar? That’s a punch. Moving around like an airplane…that’s a punch too.

The Blast Factor: It’s tough to say just who Hulk Hogan’s main event is marketed to; it’s not really a wrestling game, nor is it a good Kinect game. Hell, it’s not even a good game at all. It’s broken, uninspired and cheap. They say you should never meet your heroes, apparently you should never play their games either.

The apocalypse fascinates us. Tales of a grim future of desert wastelands, horrible mutations, and rampant violence have long proven to be a successful formula for movies, novels, and, especially, games. Id Software’s long-awaited Rage certainly seems to have been crafted with an exacting eye for wasteland standards. It’s a game that definitely succeeds on a technical level, but from a design and gameplay perspective might require players to lower their expectations.

Rage opens in a familiar manner. Just before a giant meteor strikes Earth, a select few are given a reprieve in the form of cryogenic status chambers in protective “Arks”. Fast forward a hundred years, and it’s clear this plan wasn’t bullet proof. The player awakes from cold storage to find themselves the only survivor of their ark, and is immediately thrust into a violent world of dusty landscapes, burned out structures, and well-armed buggies.

Comparisons between Rage and other wasteland games like Borderlands and Fallout 3 are inevitable. How Rage distinguishes itself however, is that it is undoubtedly an Id-made game. There are no role-playing elements here and no greater strategy beyond kill-or-be-killed.Anyone expecting another Fallout will be disappointed by the sheer shallowness of the gameplay.

Rage also lacks the deeper cooperative play experience of Borderlands and the sense of humor of either game. It seems to be a game that takes itself too seriously, even though players will be hard pressed to discern why. There’s no cliché left unturned and despite the initial appearance of an open world, even this is merely an illusion.

Players have no control over even the basics of character development. You can’t change the look, gender, or any physical aspect of the ark survivor, and the only real commodities in the game are money and race tickets. Both of these currencies are used to buy weapons, equipment, ammo, and vehicle parts.

Rage is divided between two distinct play styles. The standard first-person shooting elements will make veteran gamers feel right at home. The indoor levels have a distinct Doom feel to them, with tight corridors and much the same imagery and design techniques used in the developer’s past games. Even the horror elements are cribbed from so many other sci-fi horror games. Despite the apocalyptic mutant theme, the game throws in the whole growing biomass cliché that makes little sense in such an environment.
The driving portions will delight fans of arcade-style combat racing. The physics are over-the-top with an eye for fast action not realism. So, you can still steer in the air, for instance, and there’s a decided focus on making crazy jumps. There’s plenty of opportunity for extra points by destroying objects in mid-air and skillfully dispatching foes.

So long as you understand exactly what kind of game Rage is, however, there’s no denying that it’s fun to play. The whole game is just one errand run after another. Talking to the various non-combative denizens of the wasteland frequently leads to a new task (usually either a fetchin’ or killin’ mission), which you just go and do. It’s not deep, creative, or complex, but this formula provides plenty of action, which has always been Id’s design focus.

Enemies have decent AI and tactics, with excellent movement abilities. Bandits and mutants will use free-running skills to leap over things, run along walls, and be generally hard to hit—frequently too hard to hit, since the game’s auto-assist is suspect. There’s a wide array of bad things to shoot, including some impressively large boss creatures.  Bandits are divided into themed tribes. There are redneck cannibals, technologically-advanced soldiers, and British punk-rocker wannabes. Ultimately, their specific look and dialogue is irrelevant, since outside of the few “safe” towns, everyone is merely fodder for your guns.

Beyond bandits, there’s the so-called “authority” that make life in the wasteland a nightmare for anyone who crosses them. To go along with these tyrannical would-be rulers, there’s also the pre-requisite resistance for the player to join. The story is just there to service the shoot ‘em gameplay though, and it’s clear that the minimum amount of effort was put into the writing and non-shooting and driving mechanics.
Thankfully, as expected, the shooting and driving is satisfyingly entertaining. There are enough missions to occupy hours of violence and, for action lovers, that’s a fine reason to enjoy this romp through the wasteland. The other major draw is the multiplayer, which brings multiplayer car combat front and center.

Id definitely has a handle on great death matching and Rage’s vehicle-centric online play is terrific. Totally ignoring the first-person shooter elements, the competitive play is fast-paced and well-designed. There are a handful of entertaining game modes fought in superb and spacious arenas. The downside of the multiplayer is the four-player limit, which is too small given the expansive scope of the maps. There are also two-player cooperative “legend” missions, which are fun, if shallow, but not really a replacement being able to play the main single-player game with a friend.

Id Software has always been known for their technology, and the latest iteration of their graphics engine takes the core visual style of Doom 3 and expands it to vast open spaces. Despite some graphic glitches on the console versions, Rage is a beautiful game with a solid frame rate and nice variety of indoor levels. The audio is also superb, with powerful surround effects, solid voice acting, and a decent musical score.

Blast Factor: Ultimately, the best way to sum up Rage is shallow, but fun. There’s virtually nothing here that hasn’t been seen before with more depth. Even when the game threatens to evolve beyond its own shallowness, it just can’t make it. Taken as a straight-forward, mission-based shooter, there’s plenty to like. Yet, after so long in development, the game has an almost half-baked feel. The presentation, the environment, the combat… almost all the parts are in place to make Rage an epic post-apocalypse adventure, but the sum total is ultimately less than these pieces.

In their second installment of the series, Signal Studios made their best attempt at successfully translating a popular online game genre into the console business. If you’re a fan of “defend the castle” gaming genres and you are looking for a few hours of entertainment then this game could be for you. If you are looking for a game you could play repeatedly both by yourself and with friends until your thumbs blister, then steer clear.

The short campaign, which roughly took 5 hours to complete, is repetitive and rather boring. The poor attempt at a storyline is based off the cold war between Russia and the United States, taking a fictional approach to the physical combat that could have been. The storyline is virtually non-existent and you don’t even follow a unit or soldier through the campaign.  Besides the short briefings before each level, which in many instances is shown too quickly to actually read in their entirety, there is little continuity in the game. While the game focuses primarily on a single player option, a multi-player option is also available, although not developed anywhere near its’ full potential.

Like every other of its kind, as you successfully progress through the levels, both the computers and your own units increase in strength, although the layouts of the levels remain relatively unchanged. The overall game experience doesn’t change much other than the upgrade in units you achieve. There is the occasional boss but they don’t offer much of a challenge or any inventive twist.  They have a big gun or two and spout troops like they would if you weren’t playing a boss.

The graphics are acceptable, but nothing to rave about. The levels themselves are relatively small when compared to games like Halo wars and Civilizations for xbox 360, but they fit the necessary size for the game style. They could have been bigger in order to give you more turrets and the computer more insertion points. This could provide the need to be more strategic and increase difficulty or fun. While they do incorporate some physical items, such as other dolls and children’s toys to make it feel like you are playing in toy world, the overall experience differs only slightly from a traditional cartoon-like battle game. When the units are destroyed, they break apart into plastic pieces with no blood, which along with the toy theme makes this war game a little more kid friendly.

There are a few positives to this game. Unlike its online counterparts, you are able to control the turrets individually and vehicles such as tanks, helicopters, and a fighter jet. This allows you to make the difference in battle instead of depending on the AI to fight your battle. Since the AI is only a moderate help, it is necessary for you to assist in the victory.  This feature is one of the few saving graces of the game, but again a flaw arises as vehicles run out of power, limiting your ability to use them successfully for the duration of each round of attacks. The turret control is quite an entertaining feature.  Mortars and artillery can be pretty difficult to control due to terrible view options, but the rest of the turrets can actually be pretty fun.  Another non-unique feature are the bonus kill streak awards.  These involve bomber runs, nuclear missiles, and a special forces GI (which dominates all). These are both useful and rather entertaining when you are able to achieve them.

Aside from the main campaign, you can also sharpen skills and spend a little time playing mini games.  These also leave something to be desired. Though it is fun to have unlimited ammo and countless enemies to shoot at, without the worry of your base getting destroyed, the short time limit of 30-60 seconds fails to give you enough time to really enjoy it.  The Survival mode can provide at least 20 – 30 minutes of fun, although with the same premise as the main campaign, can lose its’ entertainment factor quickly.

Blast Factor: At $10, I don’t consider Toy Soldiers to be a waste of money; however, buyers beware, you are getting a game worth $10 and not much more.  I do consider it to be a great way to pass a snowed-in winter afternoon, without having to dish out $60 for many other mainstream games.  Although this genre can be found scattered through the virtual bins of Internet free gaming websites, the Xbox controls and mediocre graphics add a little something extra that cannot be obtained in the PC realm. The fun wore off too quick to even spend the $10, but the hours playing Toy Soldiers can serve as an excellent placeholder waiting for the newest release of your favorite game. My advice is to spend $1 on a bin of toy soldiers, gather up some of your friends and host your own Cold War fictional combat reenactment.

Every year, I have a very distinct way that I play the NCAA Football series. At any time I have no less than two different dynasties going. I always start with the Wisconsin Badgers and continue my home state’s yearly dominance over winning countless national titles, but the other is a bit more interesting. I take a random small school and through recruiting and old fashioned coaching slowly turn them into a national powerhouse; then after a few years I change schools to see if I can do it again.  This usually means giving up my numbers and record and starting over, but thanks to the coaching carousel, a new feature in this year’s game, I’m able to play in one continuous game that allows me to think and more importantly react as an actual NCAA coach.

The coaching carousel mode is just one of many additions that makes NCAA Football one of the series premiere titles. Though it has its fair share of flaws and the majority of the gameplay hasn’t been changed much, there’s still much to like here.  From a slew of new presentation improvements to a notable amount of customization options, NCAA Football  2012 finally steps out from the shadow of its big brother, the Madden NFL series and it does so by celebrating the spectacle of college football and not just the product.

The addition of the coaching carousel to the Dynasty Mode is an interesting one. You start by creating your coach from style to alma matter and of course look (admittedly though there are some curious absences here. You mean I can make my coach wear a 3 piece suit but can’t give him a 60’s era hat?) and then you pick your first coaching job. Where you go and what role you take will have a massive impact on your experience: pick an offensive or defensive coordinator and you’ll only have control over that side of the ball; but if you pick a head coach you’ll have control over the entire team. At the beginning of each season you’re given a set of goals and these are how you’re judged at the end of the season. Once your contract runs out you’ll have the option to stay with your current team (if they don’t fire you) or testing the waters otherwise.  It’s an interesting twist and a brand new way to look at a mode that had become somewhat stale in recent years.

The mode isn’t without its flaws though. Key among them is the fact that regardless of what position you choose, you’re going to be responsible for the entire team’s recruitment process, thus giving you pretty much the same responsibilities and making the feat of getting a head coaching job seem that much more trivial. What’s more, it’s entirely too easy to pull of the game’s biggest feat – landing your “dream job.” Simply create your coach and set his alma matter to whatever team you want, then make him the head coach of that school, and you’re in (interestingly enough it’s also a way to get a 30 point achievement on the Xbox 360).

Coaching carousel isn’t the only notable addition to Dynasty mode as for the first time ever you’ll be able to change around divisions and NCAA rules to your liking. The impressive customization suite was included as an answer to last year’s talk of super conferences and a dramatic realigning and is a college football fans dream. Want Norte Dame to play in the Big Ten? Go for it. Want to move a small southern team into the SEC to play with the big boys? It’s all up to you.  What’s more, you can even change bowl bids and where the bowl games happen. For instance, you can make the winner of the SEC and the winner of the Big Ten play each other in the Orange Bowl if you’d like.

Another mode that’s grown stale in recent years but given an overhaul in the 2012 game is the Road to Glory mode.  The mode, which puts you in control of one single created player now starts you back at the beginning of your senior year of high school (teams are either automatically created or you can import them using the impressive team builder). Once you choose which school you’ll be playing for, the game becomes almost more like an RPG as you’ll earn experience points to level up your player through in game play and mini games like practice performance. While you’ll start as a simple backup, you’ll eventually work your way up to becoming a trusted starter that can call his own plays and audibles at the line.

As you’d probably expect, save for a few new animations and tweaks, not much of the game’s core gameplay has been changed from last year’s installment. Unfortunately, this includes a few key elements that desperately needed tweaking. Some of the game’s physics are still a bit strange (there were several times where the ball went directly through my receiver), and the AI still has a tendency to become unbelievably good towards the end of the game especially when trailing. Come on, it’s a bit strange when you’re dominating for three and a half quarters only to have the other team suddenly become experts at interceptions and sacks.

Not all of the game’s tweaks are of the gameplay variety though, as the game features an updated presentation aspect this year.  Key among the updates is the stadium specific introductions. While not all teams have big introductions, the key ones are here like Florida State’s Chief Osceola and Renegade running on to the field and the LSU Tiger. They’re great to watch the first few times, but what about the rest of the game? If you’re going to capture the true spirit of college football, why not do something special for the end of the game?  Why does it feel the same when I beat a no name opponent as it does when I upset a top ranked team? Also notable is the fact that the game’s crowd noise has been improved dramatically and you no longer get the feeling like you’re listening to 50 fans amplified to sound like 100,000 fans; you’re actually listening to the right amount.

Much like the gameplay however, the game still suffers from some of the same visual flaws that have haunted the series for years. At random times half of players will vanish and the ball will completely go through whole objects. The new presentation aspects are great, but I almost would have rather had them wait on those until they fixed these lingering problems.

Blast Factor: Though it has its fair share of flaws, NCAA Football 2012 is easily one of the best of the franchise. With its new customization suite and revamped modes, college football fans are sure to find enough to enjoy for some time to come – or at least until next year’s game releases.

California-based rapper/producer DJ Quik just released “The Book Of David,” his eighth album. The title comes from his real name, David Blake. As such, there is a personal concept through the album.

The album kicks off with an elegant intro track “Fire and Brimstone,” backed by jazz piano melody lines. Therhythmic track “Do Today” sounds dreamy and sharp simultaneously since funk music really helps the rap be outstanding and vivid. “Killer Dope” has the same effect, the combination of hip hop, funk, and sort of jazz is the huge factor.

As one of the guest singers, Jon B. does an excellent job in the album. He participates in several tracks, particularly “Real Women,” the second single from the album, which significantly highlights his soulfu

l vocals. As he beautifully hits the high notes along with solid rhythm, the track gives the listeners a sense of excitement.

A fun tune “Hydromatic” combines effective dynamics throughout the track; its dramatic and entertaining.

With straightforward strong lyrics, “So Compton” definitely has a similar vibe to 90’s Hip Hop.

“Time Stands Still” completely changes the entire mood with its romantic mellow love song featuring Dwele’s sweet vocals. This sexy tune makes female listeners fall in love with how DJ Quik is telling the romantic story here.

The last track, “The End” is extremely groovy with Garry Shider’s guitar. The tune is somewhat reminiscent of  Sly and the Family Stone. The first part consists mainly of a bunch of vocals, then DJ Quik is gradually dominating the tune with his powerful rap.

The creative album gives listeners a new perception of West coast rap by serving hip hop as its main dish with a lot of other music condiments to taste each track. It definitely has something unique.

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*Track list*

1. Fire and Brimstone

2. Do Today (featuring Jon B. & BlaKKazz K.K.)

3. Ghetto Rendezvous

4. Luv of My Life (featuring Gift Reynolds)

5. Babylon (featuring BlaKKazz K.K. & Bizzy Bone)

6. Killer Dope

7. Real Women (featuring Jon B.)

8. Poppin’ (featuring BlaKKazz K.K.)

9. Hydromatic (featuring Gift Reynolds & Jon B.)

10. Across The Map (featuring Bizzy Bone & Bun B)

11. Nobody (featuring Suga Free)

12. Boogie Till You Conk Out (featuring Ice Cube)

13. Flow for Sale (featuring Kurupt)

14. So Compton (featuring BlaKKazz K.K.)

15. Time Stands Still (featuring Dwele)

16. The End (featuring Garry Shider)

The Blast TV Renewal/Scorecard has been updated to reflect these ratings.

What happened to people watching television on Sundays? Once anchored by “Survivor” and the mighty “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy,” it’s now just headlined by reality television, aging CBS dramas, and the seventh season of “Desperate Housewives,” which hit a 7-year low last night with a 2.7 in the demo, and 8.8 million viewers. That’s way down from its season one days when it hit 15.0′s in the demo, and drew nearly 30 million viewers.

“Brothers and Sisters” made its case for why this will be the final season (according to Blast’s own TV Renewal/Cancellation Scorecard), drawing a series low 1.7 in the demo and just a hair more than 6 million viewers. The five-year old drama was last in its timeslot.

“Celebrity Apprentice” did well for NBC, averaging a 2.5 in the demo over two hours, one of the nets best performances of the week and top for the 10 pm hour.

“Family Guy” was strong, hitting a 3.0 for a new episode, while “The Cleveland Show” drew just a 2.3. Like most of Fox’s Sunday lineup, it’s been renewed next year. But the whole slate has been down, further raising the question, what happened to watching network television on Sunday?

Hey, follow me on Twitter. You’ll get news breaks, ratings commentary, and my opinion on who should win the midwest regional adults 18-49 ballroom competition this season.

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7 pm

America’s Funniest Home Videos: 1.6 demo, 6.5 million viewers

60 Minutes: 1.3 demo, 10.6 million viewers

*The Cleveland Show: 1.0 demo, 2.4 million viewers

Dateline: 0.9 demo, 4.6 million viewers

7:30

*American Dad: 1.1 demo, 2.7 million viewers

8 pm

Amazing Race: 2.3 demo, 8.7 million viewers

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: 1.9 demo, 7.5 million viewers

*The Simpsons: 1.7 demo, 4.1 million viewers

America’s Next Great Restaurant: 1.2 demo, 3.7 million viewers

8:30 pm

American Dad: 2.2 demo, 4.7 million viewers

9 pm

Family Guy: 3.0 demo, 6 million viewers

Desperate Housewives: 2.7 demo, 8.8 million viewers

Celebrity Apprentice (9-11): 2.5 demo, 7.5 million viewers

Undercover Boss: 1.9 dem0, 8.6 million viewers

9:30 pm

Cleveland Show: 2.3 demo, 4.7 million viewers

10 pm

CSI: Miami: 2.2 demo, 9.8 million viewers

Brothers and Sisters: 1.7 demo, 6.3 million viewers

In 1603, Tokugawa Ieyasu rose to claim the title of Shogun in Japan after leading his clan to victory in the Battle of Sekigahara. That battle was the culmination of the Sengoku period, a time when the clans of Japan grappled for supremacy and the power to rule over the entire nation. Total War: Shogun 2 recreates the Sengoku period by providing control of a single clan in an attempt to rewrite history by unifying all Japanese territories and claiming power. It succeeds resoundingly in its goal to recreate the experience of a daimyo’s rise to Shogun by delivering a fun and historically accurate war game.

What has separated the Total War series from other strategy games since the original Shogun: Total War was released almost 11 years ago is the unique blend of turn-based and real-time strategy elements. The campaigns are played out in a fashion similar to those of theCivilization series with territories and armies being managed in a turn-based system. However, in a significant departure from the detached battles of other turn-based games, Shogun 2 provides the opportunity to resolve each confrontation in real-time which functions as a game within the game.

The campaign begins by selecting one of nine different clans. Each of the clans comes with different special abilities, such as bonuses to a specific unit type, and a unique starting location that determines how difficult the early stages of the game will be. The game uses real clan names, symbols, unit art, and city locations which provide an authenticity that resonates throughout and is evidence of the attention to detail used by The Creative Assembly in development. A thoroughly encompassing in-game encyclopedia that provides information on every unit, person, and location in the game also speaks to this.

Gameplay focuses on becoming Shogun by acquiring and controlling various provinces of Japan and, ultimately, Kyoto where the Emperor keeps his home. To accomplish this task requires turn-based management of the clan, armies, and occupied territories.

Each province has a central city which is where buildings for production are constructed and military units are recruited. Capturing foreign provinces requires military force to besiege a city so the core emphasis of the game is on building an effective army. A wide variety of units are at your disposable including samurai, archers, cavalry, naval ships, and many more. Agents like the ninja and metsuke can also be recruited and used to assassinate enemy leaders or to bribe armies. Both agents and Generals gain experience which lets you tailor their skills to your preference.

There are a number of other tasks that require attention such as leveraging diplomacy, stimulating economic growth, and religious direction. Diplomacy has some particularly nice new touches beyond the usual treaties and trade agreements such as the ability to arrange marriages or provide children as hostages. More depth and noncombat victory conditions would have been welcome but the turn-based systems as they stand provide a fun, alternative strategy aspect beyond army building.

Commanding the real-time battles is a pulse-pounding experience due to the frantic action that comes from managing hundreds-to-thousands of warriors. Despite the massive quantity of soldiers taking part in each conflict, combat is manageable because of the elegant unit system and user interface. A unit of samurai warriors may contain 50-150 soldiers but are manipulated as a single entity by clicking on their banner.

Battles can get a bit hectic when managing 10-20 large units but the interface helps streamline the process. Multiple units can be grouped together with a single keystroke, hot groups can be assigned, and formations can be established that work to the strengths of the group makeup. Also, control of the game speed is thankfully provided which allows for pausing, slowing down, or speeding up the action. Pausing the game to issue orders is a great way to handle situations that have become too frantic.

One drawback to the large real-time battles is that it can sometimes be hard to accurately order melee units when more than two or three are clashing. The banners have small, similar icons that can be tough to distinguish and they also have a tendency to overlap in heated skirmishes. This can cause it to be difficult to order a unit to attack a specific enemy and often requires camera manipulation for a better view. The battle camera has been improved with WASD-style controls but these moments can still be rough.

Shogun 2 sports land, naval, and siege battles. Battlefields reflect not only the current season but also the terrain on the campaign map where the armies meet. This presents opportunities to use the land as an advantage or to surprise enemies. Naval battles make their return from Empire: Total War with slight tweaks to combat due to the different style of ships used. Most of the Japanese ships are oar-propelled making them easier to maneuver. Naval combat features new options such as laying mines but is primarily a mixture of ranged combat and boarding enemy ships and is generally a lot of fun. Sieges, which take place when either attacking or defending a city, are particularly thrilling. The greatest sense of fulfillment in the game –other than becoming Shogun, of course—comes from holding out in a siege against a force that largely outnumbers your troops.

While the conflicts in Shogun 2 are superb, the greatest strength of the campaign is the way in which it effectively portrays the balanced responsibilities a daimyo had. The game works to recreate the harrowing experience of a ruler solely responsible for all decisions affecting his clan and territories. Constructing massive cities and conquering armies is gratifying but the more subtle emotions that the game evokes make it shine. There is fear for your daimyo and his heirs as the threat of assassination from lowly ninjas is constantly present. Sadness when a General that has served long and well falls in battle. There are also moments of shock such as the appearance of pirates raiding trade lines or a tsunami striking a province; the latter is especially poignant in light of the previous week’s real world events. Political intrigue is a constant source of anxiety as allied clans may declare war at a moments notice and Generals can defect if their loyalty falls.

The Creative Assembly is able to pull off this experience with help from consistently outstanding game presentation. Nice artistic touches include the campaign map which appears hand drawn until fog of war is revealed, rice paper texturing on all interface menus, and unit cards done in the cartoonish feudal Japanese character style. The tech tree in the game is divided into bushido (warfare) and chi (growth). Even the loading menus contribute with painted Japanese scenes and quotes from classic texts such as The Five Rings and Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.

Total War games have always been impressive in their ability to render thousands of units in combat and Shogun 2 ups the ante with even more unit and terrain detail. Visuals look very good even at the ‘Medium’ setting and are stunningly beautiful on a machine powerful enough to run everything maxed out. One particular graphical highlight is the water rendering which is by far the most realistic looking I’ve seen in a game. The campaign map visuals have been improved by utilizing a combination of 2D and 3D which causes the terrain and units to stand out. Less impressive are the daimyo and advisor models whose low quality makes them come off as an afterthought. Also, some texture and geometry popping is noticeable in close-up shots such as during Generals’ pre-battle speeches but the issues are not show stopping.

The sound design conveys everything in Shogun 2 as expected but is not outstanding in any one sense. However, the music is quite good with appreciable variation. Drums pound during intense phases of battle and beautiful flowing samisen pieces provide a mellow background for more peaceful times.

One of the biggest new features in Shogun 2 is the online Avatar Conquest mode which lets players create a character to take part in conquering a persistent online game world. The avatar is fully customizable and can gain experience and bonuses as online battles are completed. Avatar Conquest mode interacts with the single player campaign in two innovative ways. First, there are a large number of achievements that are shared between on and offline play. Completed achievements provide a piece of armor and when a full set of armor is acquired a new bonus that the avatar can use is unlocked. This provides a tangible asset for achievement completion beyond pride which is a welcome gaming advancement.

The other intriguing multiplayer inclusion is drop-in battles. Players choosing to take part in drop-in battles will be matched with someone starting a battle in their single player campaign and then take the place of the enemies that would normally be AI-controlled. Drop-in battles should keep single player campaigns fresh for even the most seasoned Shogun 2 players.

Multiplayer campaigns can be completed either competing against or cooperating with a second player. It would be nice if more players could be incorporated into the online campaigns but the limitation is reasonable due to the turn-based gameplay. Rounding out the online features are team battles, clan implementation, leader boards, and custom battles while a lengthy tutorial, custom AI battles, and historical battles complement the single player campaign.

With the lone campaign map of Japan, one concern is that Shogun 2 might get old sooner than games which can randomly generate new maps like Civilization. However, with a good selection of clans to experiment with, a nice set of single and multiplayer modes to keep things fresh, and the unique new Avatar Conquest, there is plenty to keep busy with for a long time.

Blast Factor: Shogun 2 delivers on its goal of providing players the chance to experience life as a daimyo in pursuit of total power. The turn-based gameplay may not be as deep as other genre stalwarts but it is quite fun and more than made up for with superior real-time battles that are a blast to play. Anyone who enjoys strategy games should give Shogun 2 a look and players that have even a passing interesting in feudal Japan or samurai culture should pick up the game immediately.

The past few years have seen a resurfacing of the entertainment industry’s love and fascination of aliens and the possibility of extraterrestrial life. Aliens have been popping up in kid’s movies, television shows, revisited franchises, and even in an Oscar-nominated film just last year. And it doesn’t seem like they’ll be fading from the spotlight anytime soon – on the horizon are Mars Needs Moms (opening this week), Cowboys vs. Aliens, Paul, Transformers: The Dark of the Moon, Prometheus, and the TV show Falling Skies hits this summer. With such an E.T. overload, these new movies and shows better bring their A games or suffer the consequences of simply blending in with the rest of the alien pack. Unfortunately for Battle: Los Angeles, it does nothing to set itself apart from its predecessors. The film has enough gunfire, explosions, and mass destruction to make Michael Bay pee himself, but don’t expect much more. The action is fast-paced and intense, but in the end Battle: Los Angeles leaves you wishing there was something else to it.

The movie begins just as you’d expect – 24 hours before the invasion, the residents of LA are going about their daily lives without any premonition of the chaos to come. The main character, Staff Sergeant Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart), is on the cusp of retiring from the Marines. We catch a glimpse of the supporting ensemble’s lives: a man kisses his pregnant wife goodbye in the morning, another soldier shops for flowers for his upcoming wedding. All is well until an initially normal report of a meteor shower escalates into worldwide confusion and chaos. When the meteors turn out to actually be hostile extraterrestrials, the Marines are activated and Nantz’s retirement is cut short. His new assignment is to lead a team of soldiers into the war zone and rescue a group of civilians before the air force carpet bombs the area in an attempt to wipe out the aliens. The bombs are set to drop in three hours, and if Nantz’s team and the rescued civilians aren’t out safely by then, they won’t be spared.

What ensues is an intense two hours of firefights, alien encounters, heavy casualties, and of course countless explosions. There is very little time to take a break from the visual and audio onslaught, as any period of silence is sure to be quickly followed by deafening blasts, crumbling buildings, and the distraught screams of wounded soldiers. Battle: Los Angeles is sure to satisfy adrenaline-junkies looking for awesome special effects and edge-of-your-seat action from start to finish.

Sadly, the film has little to offer besides it’s sensory-overload of whizzing bullets and mass destruction. The number of clichés in this film is utterly amazing and makes so much of it downright laughable. Everything we see has been done before. The aliens are invading because they want Earth’s water supply. Nantz has a checkered military history that makes the soldiers under his command doubt his ability to lead them. But after the difficult loss of a comrade, Nantz gives a heartfelt speech and wins the trust of the group. Almost every soldier is a stereotypical character we see in films depicting military personnel: the scared young kid, the foreign bad-ass, the strong woman who can hold her own, the Southern boy. And some of the one-liners are so bad that you might actually laugh out loud.

These things would be forgivable if Battle: Los Angeles was going for an Independence Day sort of vibe, but it clearly isn’t. Besides the upfront absurdity of invading aliens, the movie wants to be taken seriously. The characters share many moments that are obviously meant to be emotional, but these scenes just don’t work. Maybe it’s because you don’t care much about the characters or maybe it’s because the ridiculous amount of clichés throughout the movie make it impossible to connect to them. Whatever the case, the subplots and characters fall flat and are bound to have you rolling your eyes.

The bottom line for Battle: Los Angeles is that, if all you’re seeking is intense action and an onslaught to your senses, you’ve come to the right place. But if you’re hoping for a feature that somehow differs from the typical invasion movie, you’ll probably leave the theater disappointed. Unless you’re ready to drop ten bucks on explosions and gunfire alone, I’d say wait to see this one on DVD.

Several people asked me over the past few weeks what “The Adjustment Bureau”, the Matt Damon vehicle directed by “Bourne Ultimatum” director George Nolfi, is supposed to be about. Sadly, the best way to describe it so everyone could understand was to tell them, “You know, it’s a little ‘Inception’-y.”

“The Adjustment Bureau”, with its morose grey tones, quick-paced chase scenes and pseudo-spiritual focus, is doomed to be compared with “Inception”, though the plot actually has little in common with last year’s Christopher Nolan extravaganza. Instead of pudgy, defeated Leo DiCaprio, we have Matt Damon as David, a chipper, up-and-coming politician, who stumbles onto the knowledge that his entire life has been engineered by a group of men who claim to work for someone called “The Chairman”. They alert him that his “Plan” entails that he not hook up with a feisty ballerina (the wonderful Emily Blunt) which would derail him from his career.

From the get-go, it’s made clear who/what The Chairman is, as well as his workers. These are bureaucrats from the Other Side, who fascinatingly seem to have the same type of business hierarchy as a large government office and are very fond of snappy fedora hats. It’s a strange, slightly silly conceit, but perhaps that’s what makes it brilliant. (It also gives an excuse to quote perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious line of the year: “The most important thing to remember is that everyone wearing a hat is a threat.”)

Nolfi is smart not pretending that his story isn’t a little silly, and a little on-the-nose. Rather he embraces it, so the chase scenes with Damon being followed by ten men in $600 suits and fedoras duels between being charming and actually a little frightening. Nolfi isn’t afraid of fun- something Christopher Nolan could maybe take a lesson from.

Damon and Blunt display some of the best chemistry on-screen that I have seen in a long time. Though their relationship is based on only three chance meetings, their slow-burning yet jovial banter makes it seems credible that they would be willing to take on God to keep it intact. John Slattery (who for the rest of my life I will always call Roger Sterling) is also terrific as a cosmic middle manager. And as David’s “case worker”, Anthony Mackie takes what could be a small, exposition-heavy character, and turns him into a melancholy, disillusioned soul with every turn of phrase.

Nolfi may not be afraid of fun, but he seems terrified of his audience not getting his concept. His script explains far too much. He doesn’t trust his cast members, many of whom are excellent non-verbal actors, to tell the story for him. More insultingly, he doesn’t trust his audience to “get” who The Chairman is, and why The Plan is so important. And worst of all, the focus group-approved ending kills the lovely spontaneous and slightly madcap quality of the rest of the movie. It’s only good sense, or sheer luck, that gave him a cast that work their butts off to elevate the average writing.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that “The Adjustment Bureau” has much more in common with the “Bourne” films than “Inception”. The movies are about Matt Damon being chased- The Chairman is just the guy who’s chasing him. It’s silly and over-the-top- and altogether not a bad way to spend the weekend.

Stacking is the latest game from the minds of industry veteran Tim Schafer and Double Fine Productions. It is the second downloadable title released by Double Fine inside of six months following their new business model of developing smaller, creative games. Stackinglegitimizes the viability of this strategy as a unique and fresh puzzle adventure game that provides plenty of enjoyment for a reduced price.

The world of Stacking is one where all of the characters are wooden Russian nesting dolls called matryoshkas. The story follows Charlie Blackmore, whose family of chimney sweeps is kidnapped and forced into labor by the evil Baron. The runt of the family, Charlie is left behind by the Baron’s henchmen along with his mother because he is deemed incapable of labor. Charlie sets off at once on an adventure to free his siblings and father in a straightforward tale of the underdog against an evil tyrant. There is little in the way of character development however the underlying issue of child labor lends the narrative some gravity despite the humorous tone.

Gameplay in Stacking is a nice blend of puzzle and adventure elements where the player must guide Charlie through each location besting various challenges to rescue the members of his family. As a matryoshka doll, Charlie is capable of stacking into larger dolls that populate the world. The stacking can be repeated multiple times into increasingly bigger dolls with the sole restriction that Charlie can only stack into a doll that is the next largest size.

Each puzzle in the game is solved by stacking into other dolls and using their special abilities which is an ingenious mechanic that puts a welcome twist on traditional adventure gaming. Stacking is at its best in puzzles that require using a combination of doll abilities but, unfortunately, these don’t occur until late in the game and are the exception, not the norm.

The highlight of Stacking is the well-designed challenges that are entertaining to solve and feature multiple ways to go about them. Unlike other puzzle adventure games that force a player to discern the exact solution the developers intended, Stacking provides several different possibilities for tackling each problem; this helps avoid the frustration of getting stuck. Players can advance after discovering a single solution which keeps the game moving. Most of the solutions are not difficult to discover but do require some clever thinking. There seems to be at least one blatantly obvious way to handle each puzzle although hints are available if needed.

In addition to solving challenges, there are numerous Hi-Jinks to complete and a collection of unique dolls and sets to find in Stacking’s four locations. Hi-Jinks are smaller side tasks that can be completed independent from the story progression such as using a purse-swinging doll to whack five mimes.

Stacking does not take much time to finish –it can be breezed through in about two hours by finding just a single solution to each challenge. As such, it feels a bit short even for a $15 downloadable game. However, much of the fun of Stacking is in discovering the various ways to hilariously solve each puzzle so working out all of the techniques is encouraged. Finding all of the solutions and going for total completion pushes the length to around five or six hours which is more reasonable for the price point.

Handling a group of nested dolls with different abilities may sound like a difficult task to manage but the elegant control scheme makes it simple to execute all actions. One button stacks a doll, another unstacks, a third uses a doll’s special ability, and the final face button talks to other dolls. There is also an objective locator that is taken straight out of Dead Space making it easy to navigate from puzzle to puzzle.

Interacting with the other characters in Stacking is not only useful for finding clues but also provides a lot of the game’s entertainment. Each character will offer several responses that change depending on what doll is currently being used. The dialogue can sometimes be lowbrow –as can the game, what with farting and vomiting dolls—but generally displays the witty writing that is to be expected of a Tim Schafer creation. In addition to the humorous dialogue and cutscenes, some of the dolls’ actions are quite funny such as the geriatric man who falls asleep as he begins to tell a story.

Stacking won’t win any awards for its graphics but uses blurring and edge filters to good effect to create a stylized presentation. Many of the areas are wide open and colorful but often feel a bit too sparse. The artwork for each doll shows a better attention to detail and does well to bring the characters to life which is no small accomplishment considering they are essentially painted wooden cylinders.

An impressive musical score does a wonderful job at highlighting the action throughout the game. This is particularly important as all of the dialogue is text. The symphonic pieces, heavy on the piano and strings, work well to convey the mood in the cutscenes that have a 1920’s silent film style.

The Blast Factor: Perhaps the greatest strength of Stacking is its near-universal appeal. From children, who will enjoy the colorful worlds and silly antics, to grizzled adventure veterans, who should appreciate the fresh take on puzzle solving, there is something for everyone to like. The story, graphics, and length have room for improvement but this is such a fun game that those criticisms seem like quibbling in the end. Stacking may not be the greatest downloadable game ever created but its combination of inventive gameplay and great sense of humor make it one that everyone should play; at only $15 it is hard to find a worthwhile reason not to.

Some things just seem to be made for each other; peanut butter and jelly, popcorn and movies, Marvel and Capcom. Yes, for the last 13 years (15 if you count the very first coin-up  Japanese release of X-men VS Street Fighter) the unlikely series pitting characters from Marvel’s comic book universe and Capcom’s lineup of games has kept fighting fans up at night and arcade stinks clanging. Now, the highly anticipated third game in the series is finally hitting retail, was it worth the wait?

Hell yes. It may be missing a few fighters compared to the last game, and the online is surprisingly lacking, but Marvel VS Capcom 3 is the ambitious and fun fighting experience that gamers have been waiting for. If you have even a passing interest in the worlds of Marvel, Capcom or fighting games in general, you can’t pass up Marvel VS Capcom 3.

Marvel baddie Dr. Doom has assembled his world’s most dangerous villains and formed an alliance with Resident Evil’s Albert Wesker in an effort to control both universes.  Sounds like a great plan right? Except for the fact that doing so has awakened an ancient evil that could potentially destroy each world. Of course, it’s up to both the Capcom and Marvel heroes to stop it from happening. Okay, so it’s not the most original story but it’s unlikely you’re going to pay much attention to it anyways. Of course, the core of the game is the fighting mechanic, and it’s sure to not disappoint.

The first thing you’re going to notice when popping in Marvel VS Capcom 3 is the eye-popping sensational visuals . Borrowing much from Capcom’s Street Fighter IV, the game features a dynamic cell shaded visual style that balances well with the 3D fighting on a 2D plane, and just wait until you see the vibrant and dynamic super moves. Much of the same love has been given to the game’s sound, all of the one liners and music from the past of both universes is well represented.

Let’s not waste any time and get to the elephant in the room right away, Marvel VS Capcom 3 only features a total of 36 characters, a far departure from 56 in the second game. It may seem like a big deal, but each of the characters in Marvel VS Capcom 3 is genuinely fun to play and unique. It’s also the most diverse of the rosters yet, with Capcom including less Street Fighters and more oddball characters like M.O.D.O.K., Deadpool (the cool comic book version, not the lame Ryan Reynolds movie one) and even Arthur from Ghosts and Goblins who fights in his trademark heart skivvies.  Of course, your favorites are still here, like Wolverine, Ryu, Captain America and the Hulk. With the promise of upcoming DLC, the strength of the roster will only get stronger.

As much as the Marvel VS Capcom series has been popular, it’s also been one of the most difficult series in recent memory.  That core experience is still here for veteran players, but Marvel VS Capcom 3 is unquestionably the most accessible of the series thanks to an intuitive training experience. You’ll start at the most basic step, having each of the attacks mapped to one button and working up to taking off the training wheels with the game’s more robust and difficult features. The game is enjoyable with a controller, but it’s downright heavenly with an arcade stick.

Much of the framework for Marvel VS Capcom 3 was borrowed from Street Fighter IV, or more specifically, Super Street Fighter IV, it’s just a wonder why they didn’t bring over the robust online engine from the game as well. As it stands, the game features only ranked and player matches, plus custom lobbies to recreate the arcade experience.

The Blast Factor: To put it plain and simple, Marvel VS Capcom 3 was more than worth the wait that the franchises dedicated fan base has suffered through since its announcement. Retaining much of the formula from the original and adding a slew of new characters and visuals – it’s the next logical step in the evolution of the franchise. Even more, Marvel VS Capcom 3 is simply the best we’ve seen of the series yet.

Channing Tatum’s stock has certainly been on the rise in the last two years, with a major blockbuster (“G.I. Joe”), a romantic drama (“Dear John”), and a comedy (“The Dilemma”). So naturally, all that’s left to do is the period epic.

Unfortunately for him, this won’t be a great addition to that budding resume. While Tatum and co-star Jamie Bell deliver solid, if unspectacular, performances, neither one is able to stop the film from collapsing around itself.

Tatum is the Roman centurion Marcus Aquila, stationed at the end of the Roman empire in 140 AD — Britain. Twenty years before the film, the Ninth Legion, under his father’s command, disappeared in Northern Britain past the reaches of the Empire. In his disappearance he shamed the family name by losing a prized Roman totem — the eagle. Aquila sets out to find the eagle and reclaim his family’s honor, along with his inexplicably obtained slave Esca, who harbors a dark past related to Aquilas.

The film suffers from a convoluted and poorly executed plot, and a weakly drawn script giving way to dialogue. Kevin MacDonald, who previously directed Forest Whitaker in the Oscar-winning “Last King of Scottland,” delivers the same washed out colors and imperialistic tone, but can’t seem to sustain an engaging plot or a cohesive direction for very long.

The film’s only redemption comes from sporadically entertaining fight scenes, as Tatum and Bell kill just about anything in their way in their quest. The chemistry between the two main characters is also somewhat redemptive, but still suffers from the sorely lacking script, making it difficult to truly care about their relationship.

Ultimately, there is entertainment value in “The Eagle,” and one can sit through it without too many boring periods. If you’re looking for some sword-and-sandle period-flick action, this is a mildly entertaining film with a miniscule budget that shows. If you have the time and the desire, check it out; I’d recommend Netflix though, which this film should be arriving on fairly soon.

At the end of every year, we in the video game journalism world have a habit of making lists. We write about the bestgames, the best console, and yes – we also write about the worst games of the year. Mark my words, in December of this year we’ll be talking about Mindjack, the new futuristic third person shooter for worst game of the year.

It didn’t start that way though; in fact Mindjack started as an impressive idea. Built on the framework of modern day third person shooters, Mindjackallows players to leave the bodies of their character, and take control of an enemy. It’s not the most unique idea (last generation we saw it in Battlefield 2), but we don’t see it much in this genre so it still feels a bit fresh.

In the year 2031, government as we know it has all but dissolved, and in its place stands resource controlling corporations. Throughout most of the game you take control of Special Agent Jim (no, seriously. The dude’s name is just Jim) as he and his partner Rebecca as you try to infiltrate the compound of the NERKAS corporation for some reason. The whole thing plays out like a really bad Sy-Fy channel weekend movie. Plot points are introduced, but never wrapped up, characters come in, but are never seen again, and worst of all, the game never takes the time to fully explain just what’s going on. It’s like we’re just supposed to accept that the technology to jump into someone else’s mind is now possible.

Much like Vanquish before it, the gameplay of Mindjack could best be described as an eastern take on the Gears of War formula. Hell, if you’re playing on the Xbox 360, the controllers are mapped to the exact same buttons; you shoot with the right trigger, aim with the left and roadie run by holding down A. The only difference, while in Epic’s flagship shooter they worked – here, they’re unquestionably broken. The biggest problem is that even the most civilian actions like moving to cover, reloading and shooting, come off as cumbersome and incredibly slow. Even the “Mindjacking” itself comes off as slow. Combine that with the fact that your enemies seem to be on a permanent caffeine binge and jump around incredibly fast and you begin to get an idea of just how frustrating of an experienceMindjack can be.

One of, if not the most memorable aspects of Gears of War and its sequel is just how memorable and satisfying the action is, yet another feature this game is missing. Take for instance the seemingly simple act of snapping to cover and firing at an enemy. Somehow, even if you line up the reticule exactly on your target, more often than not you’re going to end up shooting slightly off where you wanted. It’s incredibly frustrating and defies the basic principles of shooters. What’s more, there’s pretty much no logic to any of Mindjack‘s action (seriously, if you just ignore a boss for long enough, it seemingly defeats itself).

There’s a decently enjoyable multiplayer suite that essentially turns the entire single player campaign into one large death match, but it too suffers from the same problems as the main game. To be honest, with games like Bulletstorm, Dead Space 2 and Killzone 3 on the horizon, there’s pretty much no reason to play Mindjack. Flawed in nearly every way, Mindjack is the definition of a frustrating gaming experience.

World renowned creator and visionary Walt Disney and his Imagineers had a policy to not change the attractions hiscompany built, but rather to plus them. This is, rather than completely take away from the original; they would take the experience, and add to what made it so good in the first place. Similarly, Little Big Planet 2, the highly anticipated sequel to PS3 DIY platformer feels an awful lot like a plussed attraction as Media Molecule has taken the formula set forth by the first game, added a ton of new content and created a wonderfully inventive world that still feels as familiar as the original.

On the surface, not much has changed between Little Big Planet and its sequel, as the core game remains mostly unchanged. Swing and platform jump across arts and crafts inspired worlds in search of stickers and prizes. A closer look though will showcase just how much work has gone into improving Little Big Planet 2 from its predecessor. Everything here is much more dynamic and rendered impressively well. The franchise is known for its distinct arts and crafts DIY inspired world, and here’s it’s much more imaginative than you’ve known from the first game. What’s cool is that even the levels and objects from the first game can be used in Little Big Planet 2 and they too are given the upgrade.

Little Big Planet 2’s campaign mode, which finds Sackboy aligning himself with a mysterious group known as “The Alliance” after a mysterious vacuum sucks up most of the world’s residents. It’s a cute little story, but much like the first game, you’re likely to ignore it as you progress through the game. What you’re not likely to ignore though is the phenomenal level design throughout the game. One minute your platforming from gap to gap like you’d expect and the next you’re navigating a segway like vehicle through a room with reverse gravity. Throw in some rather unique and ingenious (giant possessed cupcake anyone?) and you have a picture of what Little Big Planet 2 has to offer. The genius of the game and the franchise even is that the dynamic is always changing so you’re unlikely to ever get bored.

Of course, playing through the 30 levels of the campaign is barely even scratching the surface of Little Big Planet 2, as the real heart and ingenuity of the game comes in the game’s robust creation system. Diving head first into the game’s creation mode can be a bit daunting or even intimidating at first, but  luckily there’s fairly large number of tutorials (all voiced magnificently by Stephen Fry) that will get you caught up on how to use the game’s suite of tools. To say that Little Big Planet 2’s creation modes surpass that of the original is a gross understatement.

Literally everything in Little Big Planet 2 is larger than the original

When talking about the game, Media Molecule co-founder Alex Evans quoted Henry Ford, saying “If I asked them what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse, I gave them a car.” This quote is perfect for the improvements made here, as everything has been made easier. Take for instance the action of creating movement, in the original it would take a multitude of calculations and different pieces tied together, here, it’s as easy as selecting the tool, tying it to the object and watching it go. There’s a slew of new improvements, including sackbots (a huge help to make created levels seems more populated), and the ability to record your own music assign specific movements to different buttons on the controller seamlessly.

This seamlessness translates well into the game’s community as well. Sure, you can send your level out to the masses with the click of a button, but the fun really starts when you start perusing the works of others. Play through their levels, rate them (on a simple frown or smiley face scale) and compare pins with others.  Sorting through levels is a ton easier as well; as you’re now able to search by a number of new descriptors (including the infinitely handy ‘Media Molecule recommends’) as well as the ability to create a cue of levels you’ll want to play on LBP.me.

Of course, Little Big Planet 2 isn’t perfect, and most of the problems are the same that haunted the first one. As a platformer, it’s a bit lacking at times, including a few curious button glitches and issues (come on, double jump?). It can also be said that some of the tutorials still leave you scratching your head at times, but given the depth of the game, it’s almost expected.

The Blast Factor: Depending on how much you want to put into it, Little Big Planet 2 can be either a small and fun platforming romp with friends or an extensive creation suite that you’ll spend hours on. Either way though, you’re sure to have a smile on your face as you play through one of the PS3’s most innovative and fun titles. Little Big Planet 2 is simply a stunning exercise in creativity and video games.

Just in time for the holidays, Namco Bandai Games brings us a heartwarming tale of one man and his quest to bereunited with the woman he loves. It’s a tale of love, determination…Oh, and blood – buckets upon buckets of blood.

There’s a lot wrong with the re-imagining of the classic game Splatterhouse – it’s shallow, and it features weak combat,  and a slew of embarrassing technical flaws but hey – you can use your own severed limbs as weapons, so it’s got that going for it. Splatterhouse may be enjoyable for a few moments, but when the novelty and nostalgia wears off, you’re not likely to go back to it much after.

The 2010 version of Splatterhouse loosely follows the plot of its 1988 predecessor, but takes several creative liberties in the process. In both you’ll play as Rick in search of your girlfriend Jennifer who has been kidnapped. In the original, the plot begins when the two take shelter in an old mansion, here she’s summoned to the Dr. West, who practices necrobiology (sure, whatever). Long story short, Jennifer is kidnapped and you’re mortally wounded. When you awake, you find that you knocked over a sarcophagus and have awakened and ancient and magical mask – with a potty mouth. Together, Rick and the mask must brutally maim the nightmare creatures of the mansion in an effort to save Jennifer. It’s kind of like 48 hours, but here Eddie Murphy is a demonic mask.

For what it’s worth, Splatterhouse seems to know what it is, and plays its tongue-in-cheek card decidedly well.  It never takes itself too seriously amidst the blood and gore. The story is told in almost a pulp-comic sort of way. Yes, it knows it and the content it’s bringing is silly and the game handles it well. Truth be told, there are a few interesting story turns to be found buried within Splatterhouse, but none of them are anything you wouldn’t.

You’ve already played Splatterhouse, even if you’ve never touched the game. It’s the same as every other depth lacking beat-em-up you’ve ever played. Walk into a room, maim some killer clowns, demons and other atrocities, rinse and repeat. As you progress, you’ll rip off limbs, decapitate and splash the blood of your enemies on your screen, they’re pretty cool the first few times, but get old fast. Some of the splatter-kills (the game’s idea of really violent attacks) will make you giggle with gory glee, but those two will be repeated on an almost laughable scale. Combat is mostly of the button mashing fare, and you’ll be able to upgrade your moves or purchase new ones with the blood you spill (yes, Splatterhouse uses Blood as currency).

Technically speaking, Splatterhouse is an embarrassing mess. Save for a few visually interesting moments, the game is filled with muddled textures, boring backgrounds and broken animations. These few interesting moments, which are unsurprisingly some of the game’s more gory moments make it even more difficult to stomach the rest of the game’s muddled visuals.

The controls of Splatterhouse too are disappointing. The game features loads of classic horror weapons from chainsaws to machetes, but getting to use them is a complete pain in the ass. It should be easy, walk over to it and push a button, but it’s just not that simple. All too often, the game won’t recognize that you’re trying to pick up the object and you’ll be left grasping at air when you know that the item you want it right there. It’s made all the more frustrating by the fact that when you’re trying to do this – there’s always  a ton of bad guys ready to dish out damage to you. The controls are made all the more worse during the game’s disappointing and out of place platforming sections.

The Blast Factor: Horror diehards may find a bit of enjoyment in the love letter Splatterhouse writes to their genre, but after while it’s pretty obvious that it’s a rather thin experience. All of the blood in the world couldn’t hide this game’s embarrassingly technical flaws, broken mechanics and inconsistent gameplay. If you’re a fan of the original, or off the wall violence, you may like Splatterhouse, but everyone else should stay far away.

Southpeak Games’ new off road racer Nail’d is a definite  product of the times. Take one part ATV VS MX, add in aheaping helping of tongue-in-cheek humor and a ton of Red Bull for good measure. Recreating an incredible sense of speed superbly, Nail’d is a to the point, full throttle, little innovation arcade racer, but it’s also damn fun. It may not be the deepest, most complex racer on the market, but you can’t help but smile as you freefall off cliffs or dodge trains. Nail’d is the perfect game to kick back and share a Saturday afternoon with your buddies with.

Nail’d is an arcade racer – plain and simple, and the developers over at Techland (most well known for the Call of Juarez series) aren’t afraid to show it. While other games have you swapping out parts and modifications, Nail’d has one goal – to create an amazingly fun racer with a blistering sense of speed. You’ll be going off ramps, dodging obstacles from speeding trains to rock walls and even hot air balloons. The trick, and what makes Nail’d so damn different than the other games like it is that the developers have included the option to steer your ATV in mid-air. While it may sound like a small addition to an already established formula, it adds a ton of cool moments to the game that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat. Imagine launching yourself off of a giant ramp, as you hit the peak you notice that you’re headed right into the side of an unforgiving rock wall and you frantically attempt to steer your way to the ledge on your left.  What you do in these next few seconds could be the difference between placing first or last. This in essence is the Nail’d experience.

Complementing the frantic action quite nicely is the game’s fantastic track design. Most races start off with your typical straight away, but rest assured, it’s only to build up speed. Before you know it, you’ll be banking off intricate twists and turns and launching into gorgeous set pieces. Though you’re

Going to be whizzing past them incredibly fast, you’ll be missing a major part of the game if you don’t take a brief second (even if it’s just the pre-race movies) to admire the incredible level of detail in the environments. The same detail isn’t carried over to the entire game, as some of the player models and animations can come off a bit lacking, but you won’t see them much because the game is moving so fast.

Nail’d  is a game of decisions both big and small. Many of the tracks feature multiple pathways you can take. Do you pull up to try to get more air and tae the higher path or should you dive down to avoid getting smacked and cut to pieces by a wind turbine (no, really)? Either way proves to lead to an exciting outcome, but you can’t always judge the situation easily thanks to an unreliable camera.  All too often you’re looking like you’re going to make a jump, only to meet a fiery crash at the edge. Another issue with the camera is the game’s  camera is that it randomly seems to darken the screen. This happens more often than not in tunneled in areas, and leads to you crashing on unseen obstacles, meaning you’re bound to do it again because you can’t see exactly what caused it.

As mentioned above, Techland does a great job making Nail’d a fast and fun racer, but it doesn’t do much for the overall depth of the game. You have career mode, which of course tasks you with coming in first or restarting races, along with  time attacks and stunt modes. The odd thing about the game’s stunt modes is that there’s not really a stunt trick system in place, and in truth – you can’t really do much other than pop wheelies and land on other racers.  The day one DLC included with each new copy of the game puts a bomb and racers ATVs and tasks you with having to boost at the right time to defuse it is good fun and a decidedly different way to play Nail’d.

The Blast Factor: Nail’d would be right at home in the arcade scene of yesterday, what it lacks in innovation and depth it makes up for in blissful speed and unabashed fun. Best played with others (you’ve got to trash talk you know), Techland’s dirty racer is an unexpected favorite of the year. Go out and get Nail’d, you won’t regret it.

“Black Swan” operates within a genre that’s defined less by the kind of movie it is, and more by the kind of directors who make it. Aronofsky, who directed “Requiem for a Dream” and “Pi”, specializes in nightmares- the kind created by Lynch and Kubrick. His nightmares are dirty affairs, full of sex and blood and casual hostility.

If it’s nightmares you want, “Black Swan” delivers them in spades. Aronofsky’s tale of a dancer who may or may not be going insane, is a flawed creation, but also an exhilarating and quietly insidious one.

Natalie Portman plays Nina, a ballerina on the cusp of fame within her company, who dances with precision and technical strength but without passion. She’s stuck emotionally at about 13 years old- she still lives with her overbearing mother (a divine Barbara Hershey) and her pink bedroom is full of stuffed animals and lace. Her life is well-measured and structured, until she’s picked a both the White and Black Swans in her company’s performance of “Swan Lake”. She is suddenly faced with a a rival name Lily (Mila Kunis), and begins to (possibly) lose her mind. To tell you more would both make this review chock-full of spoilers, and, more importantly, make assumptions about what actually does happen in “Black Swan.” Suffice it to say, there will be blood, and a series of icky scenarios involving peeling skin and things growing out of Nina’s back- those who are squeamish would do well to go see “Harry Potter” or something.

A lot of people will go to see the movie for the sex- yes, fellas, there’s a sex scene between Portman and Kunis, and the fantastic Vincent Cassel also gets some play as the lecherous ballet choreographer Thomas. But the erotica involved is less titillating and more vaguely unpleasant, like a wet dream gone wrong. Far more important is Nina’s body itself, both a tool she uses within her work, and a palette on which we see the transformations (real and imagined) she’s going through. Her body is a map of the demands of a ballet career- the normality of anorexia and bulimia, the cracked toenails and jammed joints and nervous tics.

Vincent Cassel can chew the scenery all he wants (and he does), but this movie belongs to the women. Portman is getting a lot of buzz around her role; I don’t know if it’s the best performance of the year, but her focus and control within this role is stunning. Portman’s Nina is a raw nerve, her eyes perpetually full of terror. In a climactic dance sequence she simply owns the camera, and her energy is intoxicating. Kunis is excellent; unlike some of the other plot points Lily is diabolical in a completely realistic way. She throws off her prey with over-friendliness and relaxed energy, hiding ugliness beneath the surface. Winona Ryder is also lovely as an aging ballet star. But it’s Barbara Hershey who steals the show as Nina’s slightly mad and frustrated mother. Hershey’s scenes throw you off-balance in a way that the other admirable performers just can’t compete with.

Despite some terrific performances, “Black Swan” is far from perfect. Aspects of the movie are a little Film Analysis 101; there are broken or fractured mirrors, denoting Nina’s shattered psyche. Nina’s always dressed in white, while Lily dresses in black. A ballerina music box gets thrown across the room, and the little ballerina inside loses her head. The symbolism is a little too on-the-nose, too clever. It looks like Aronofsky is trying too hard, and he doesn’t have to. If he had let the movie fly on its own merits- the acting, the excellent representation of life in a ballet company, the absolutely gorgeous lighting and camerawork- it would come off more polished than it does now.

“Black Swan” is a strange work of art, and I still can’t tell whether it will be the biggest movie of the season, or a total flop. It is cerebral and pessimistic, and God knows such things generally don’t do well at the box office. But I’m pulling for “Black Swan”- it isn’t perfect, but it has power and soul. Everything else are just details.

I’m what you might call a cynic. I’m not one for handing out praise and gooey words to games unless they really deserve it. Yet, I can’t say enough about Donkey Kong Country Returns. It’s epic, it’s fun, it’s gorgeous – it’s the best platformer you’ve played in a long time.

Strangely enough, Retro studios didn’t look to new technology or fancy new features for their attempt to restore faith in the once prominent franchise, theymerely returned one of Nintendo’s oldest heroes to his roots and in the process have surpassed everything Rare has done with the original.

Life is hard for Kong, he’s finally gotten rid of those pesky Kremlins, but now he’s got to worry about his fellow jungle animals running off with his banana horde. You see, the animals are under the control of the evil Tikis known as the Tiki Tak Tribe. As you’d expect, your goal is to traverse the jungle, defeat the Tik Tak Tribe and get yourself some potassium goodness in the process.

In essence, returns is the formula from the original Donkey Kong Country boiled down to its most simple assets. Anyone who remembers the last few games in the series will remember that they were filled with increasingly annoying King family members and stale gameplay. Save for our ape protagonist and Diddy (along with a few appearances by Cranky Kong), the extended family sits this one out in favor of a more streamlined story and classic gameplay.  Everything you remember is here, from the vine swinging, to collecting the gold K-O-N-G letters, the key here is that Retro Studios, the same team that revitalized the Metroid series with Metroid: Prime was able to make the gameplay feel fresh, without adding too much.

What’s most striking about Donkey Kong Returns is just how impressive and creatively brilliant the level design is throughout the entire experience. From striking set pieces like riding on the back of a whale to the series trademark mine car sections, every second of Kong’s latest adventure seems lovingly crafted to get the absolute most entertaining experience. Sprinkled throughout are clever nods to the original series, like characters and hidden rooms. It’s clear that Retro were fans of the original game.

That level design though isn’t just for show though, it also adds a world of difficulty. While it may not look as menacing as it is, there are sections of Returns that are unforgivingly hard. Much like the original, you’re going to gain a lot of lives, which will lure you into a false sense of security, but you’re likely to use them all during these punishing sections. More often than not, these sections will either be the boss fights or include them. Strangely enough though, the game feels instantly accessible and inviting even for those without an emotional attachment to the big monkey on the cover. Also aiding in helping frustrated players is the Super Guide. Much like in New Super Mario Bros, dyeing eight straight times leads to the option to see a prerecorded run through of the level.

For the first time in the series, Donkey Kong Country Returns includes co-op simultaneous gameplay, and while at times it can be a bit frustrating in the same way the multiplayer of New Super Mario Bros was, it mostly works. As you’d expect, Donkey Kong is more of a brute type character who uses mostly melee combat, while Diddy is quicker and uses projectile weapons. Undoubtedly, my favorite part of the co-op experience was the ability to have Diddy jump on Donkey Kong’s back, so it’s easier for less skilled players to advance while playing with a stronger partner.

The biggest letdown? Why no classic controller support? No don’t get me wrong, the Wii controller works fine in most cases, but growing up playing this very franchise on Super Nintendo and N64 and not being able to use a similar controller just feels wrong. There is some motion functionality in the game, by shaking the Wiimote, DK will perform a ground pound, but in some cases, the game confuses this motion for an attempt to get DK to roll, and it’ll likely cause you one of your lives.

The Blast Factor: With Donkey Kong Country Returns, Retro Studios proves that its talents aren’t just limited to first person shooters. The newest Donkey Kong adventure is a breathtakingly creative and fun instant classic that everyone will be able to appreciate. Whether you hold an emotional attachment to Nintendo’s monkey hero, or your experiencing the franchise for the first time, Donkey Kong Country Returns is one of the best games you’ve played all year.

Picking out a racing game is sort of like ordering a pizza. Do you want a high-speed realistic title heavy on the realism? How about a fun and lightweight kart racer, light on the realism? Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit is sort of like the cheese pizza of racing games; it’s extremely enjoyable, but depending on your taste – you could be left craving more.

In all honesty, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit is one hell of a racing title. It’s built on break neck speeds, high risk, and dangerous collisions. Regardless of which side you play on, you’re sure to enjoy your time with Criterion’s interpretation of the long running racing franchise. Be warned though, those who are looking for a deeper experience, complete with customization and story may want to look elsewhere. Though it may not be perfect, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit is still one hell of a ride.

Though it bears the name of the long running franchise, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit isn’t like any other in the series. Rather, it feels much more like Criterion’s other well known franchise, Burnout. If you’ve played Burnout before, you’re sure to feel at home with Hot Pursuit, the cars control the same and there are even some of the same effects in use, but there’s more at steak here. You play as either an illegal street racer or one pissed off cop trying to bring said racers in. Regardless of which side you play as, the game is incredible fun. In true Criterion fashion, you’ll gain rewards for driving dangerously and performing specific maneuvers.

As you progress through Hot Pursuit, you’ll unlock new equipment to use against your opponents. Mapped to the d-pad, this equipment – which includes spike strips for the law and more powerful NOS tanks for the racers – are available only in limited supply, which goes a long way in making the game even throughout. Think about it, how many times have you been playing a racing game with weapons online, only to be cheesed out by an opponent who uses them persistently? What’s even cooler is that as you play through the game you’ll require bigger and more impressive upgrades to your ride, like longer spike strips and bigger barricades. This, combined with a truly remarkable and unpredictable AI system makes for game that’s different each time you play.

Let’s be honest though; you’re dodging in and out of traffic but deep inside, you’re yearning to see some kick ass crashes, and Hot Pursuit delivers in spades. When you wreck, the game slows things down (yes, like in Burnout) so you can see every detail. In truth, the entire game is full of incredible detail. Environments are strikingly realistic change depending on the action on the screen. Criterion are known for fantastic looking racing games, but they’ve outdone themselves here. There are a few quirks though, like a bit of slowdown when the online action gets too hectic and a quirky series of camera cuts that throw off your driving (which can be incredibly unnerving when you’re desperately trying to shave a few seconds off your time).

You’re unlikely to run out of things to do in Hot Pursuit thanks to a rather impressive feature set. Though it doesn’t support local multiplayer, the online modes are incredibly fun. The online races support up to eight players and don’t feature weapons, so pure racers will enjoy it, but most will spend the majority of their time in the Hot Pursuit events which breaks the eight players into four cops and four racers. the cops job is to stop the racers from crossing the finish line. It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s one of the best online games you’ll play this year.

As impressive as the features in Hot Pursuit are, they won’t please everyone. There’s no story here, and while that may please some, I did find myself questioning why I was going on at certain points. Yes, it’s cool to upgrade your car, but there’s really no real motivation to go on during the game’s second act.

The Blast Factor: Quirks aside, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit is simply the best racing game this year. The gameplay is fast and fun and the crashes are incredibly wicked. Most importantly, the game features plenty of content and awesome features that are sure to keep players coming back for more. This isn’t just a reimagining of the Need for Speed franchise, this is a new series entirely.

You know what really annoys me? Those episodes of TV shows where something huge happens, that’s sure to effect the entire show’s cannon, only to reveal that it’s all a dream at the end. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2 feels an awful lot like one of these cheap TV moments. Spoiler alert – Starkiller, the protagonist from the original Force Unleashed game and Darth Vader’s secret apprentice, takes his own life for the better of the rebellion. Yet, there he is as we open up The Force Unleashed 2. Yeah, apparently, Darth Vader’s got clones.

Ultimately, The Force Unleashed 2 is a similarly disappointing experience altogether. Though it starts off with a bang, and features some amazing art direction, the tale of one of Starkiller’s clone’s quest seemingly hits a brick wall before it really starts to gain any momentum. Still, you can’t deny the fun you’ll mindlessly killing fleets of storm troopers and abusing your force powers. The Force Unleashed 2 may not be The Empire Strikes Back, but it’s no Phantom Menace either.

Taking place about seven months after the events of the first game, and a full year before what we ultimately know as the first Star Wars movie; a New Hope, The Force Unleashed 2 opens up with Starkiller ( or quite possibly a Starkiller clone) escaping from captivity on Kamino. You take out the Storm Troopers guarding your cell, and set off on a quest to find out the truth about your existence and who you really are. Of course, it won’t be that easy, as you’ll not only have to take on the entire Empire, but deal with the fact that Darth Vader has hired Boba Fett to track you down.

If Force Unleashed 2 succeeds at one thing, it’s the game’s ability to make you feel like a badass Jedi master. It’s insanely fun to wind-up a huge force push and let loose on an entire squad of Storm Troopers as if they were bowling pins. That’s really just the start though; you’ll be able to let loose an entire array of awesome Jedi powers, including Force Lightning and levitation. If you’re like me though, you’ll find the most fun out of using the awesome Jedi Mind Trick ability.  Call me sadistic, but it’s just plain fun to watch an enemy Storm Trooper dive head first to his doom into an energy field. Of course, these powers are almost exactly the same as the ones from the original; they just feel a bit more powerful in the sequel.

These abilities still have their downfalls though, namely with the telekinesis ability.  Much like in the first game, you’ll often be tasked with picking up an object or enemy with this ability, but will have a  frustrating experience thanks to a shoddy targeting system. Yes, it seems easy to pick up that bin over there to tae out the control panel, but the game seems incapable of doing such pedestrian tasks.

As fun as these abilities are though, they don’t offer much in terms of gameplay, as the Force Unleashed 2’s core mechanics wear thin incredibly quickly. To boil the game down to its most basic description, you’ll find yourself laying waste to storm troopers, walkers, droids and the occasional boss fight. Repeat ad nauseum. I couldn’t help myself but be reminded of old games like Final Fight and Double Dragon as I fought off the hordes of nearly identical bad guys. It’s mostly disappointing because the original game featured everything from wookies to Jawas. Why not include them in the sequel?

Save for a few moments, The Force Unleashed 2 is a pretty linear experience, and you won’t have much variation from the path the game wants you to take. A few of the quicktime events and boss battles are a bit tricky, but nothing was incredibly taxing and there’s no upgrading abilities here, so the Starkiller you start with, is the same that you end with – luckily though many of the enemies feel exactly the same throughout the title, meaning you’re not going to have a ton of trouble clearing it.

One standout area for the game though is clearly in its production values. Save for Darth Vader ( I couldn’t help but think of the Chad Vader series of viral videos when he was on screen), the voice acting is top notch, and you’ll be treated to one gorgeous set piece after another. The best moments of these set pieces are found in the game’s quick time events, which often require you to use force push to dodge enemies and debris. These moments are easily the best of the game, and the will keep you on the edge of your seat, even if the rest of the game doesn’t.

Blast Factor: Star Wars the Force Unleashed 2 isn’t a better game than its predecessor, nor is it a worse one – it simply is. Star Wars fans looking for a true saga experience are encouraged to wait for The Old Republic next year, but if you’re just looking to feel like a badass Jedi Knight who kills nameless enemies and asks questions later – you can’t go wrong with this uninspired, but fun sequel.

2007′s Call of Duty: Modern Warfare changed the way we looked at war in the medium of video games. Infinity Ward’s acclaimed shooter brought the genre to modern day with gritty realism and an unapologetic look at what it meant to be at war in the modern age. Think of it as the video game equivalent of Apocalypse Now.

Now, EA’s Medal of Honor reboot has the potential to do it all over again. While most war titles tiptoe around the current conflicts in the Middle East, EA has chosen to dive in head first. Sure, the name may have been changed (EA changed the Taliban in the game to the “Opposing Force” in certain parts of the game amidst a sea of controversy from soldiers and activists), but the sentiment is still there. Sadly though the title never does the source material justice and what you’re left with is a paint-by-numbers first person shooter that shows only glimpses of what it could have been.

Right from the start, Medal of Honor shows immense promise; opening directly after the events of September 11, you’re a member of an elite American military squad given the task of finding – and eliminating the Taliban force. What starts off as a promising tale of modern conflict though, quickly descends into a ham fisted display of army stereotypes. There’s the cigar chompin’, grizzled sergeant issuing orders; and of course there’s the team’s wildcard that disobeys them because he knows better. Undoubtedly though, the game’s worst transgression is with how it treats the conflict it uses at its setting. Gone are any gleams of humanity that has come with this war in favor of the “kill all the bad guys” bravado we’ve come to expect from modern first person shooters. EA was traversing risky and unexplored territory with Medal of Honor, but they chose to take the safe route, and the game suffers as a result.

For what it’s worth though, Medal of Honor’s campaign is paced exceptionally well. Playing through, I never got the feeling that missions were dragging on, and straight forward first person shooter moments are often broken up at just the right time by tense and cinematic moments that will keep you on the edge of your seat. EA has done a great job creating a cinematic tale here that seems to move along at just the right pace. There are moments however where that cinematic quality gets in the way of gameplay. Medal of Honor’s mission structure is built firmly on the chatter you’ll hear between your squad mates and yourself, but sometimes you’ll find yourself unable to progress through certain points in missions until you hear the entire conversation carry out. This can be even more frustrating when you’re having a problem clearing a section and each time you load you have to listen and let dialogue you’ve already heard play out. The game itself is strikingly linear, and the AI will go to remarkable levels to get you to stay on the path laid out for you. There’s definitely a way that the developers want you to experience Medal of Honor – and they’re not afraid to show it to you.

Unless you’re playing on the highest difficulty, Medal of Honor’s roughly six hour campaign shouldn’t be much of a challenge for most familiar with the genre. Enemies seem to be proficient at shooting and taking cover, but they’ll often stick out their head from cover at the most inopportune times. Those looking for more of a challenge are encouraged to try out Tier 1 mode, which tasks players with completing missions against an always ticking clock that freezes, or gets time added to it when you perform specific tasks, like melee kills and headshots.

Of course, this is still a modern first person shooter, which means that where it will earn its salt, and write its legacy is in its multiplayer suite. Playing like a mix between the multiplayer modes of the Battlefield series and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, Medal of Honor online features small maps and big weapons, ensuring each game is frantic and fun. Much like other similar games, you’ll be able to earn rewards including new weapons and armor for your success in the game’s multiplayer suite. Medal of Honor’s online component is exceptional and will likely become a highlight for gamers with itchy trigger fingers.

The Blast Factor: There’s a lot to like about EA’s Medal of Honor reboot if you’re able to look past some of the more disappointing aspects of the game. Though the game never truly reaches the potential its source material allows for, you’re going to want to experience the superb pacing and visuals – not to mention the distinctly addicting multiplayer suite. Sure, it’s not everything it could have been, but given the expectations, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Ninja Theory, the developers behind the PS3-exclusive Heavenly Sword, is a developer seemingly obsessed with fusing movies and games. Heavenly Sword was semi-successful at making an interactive Asian-flavored saga, though bogged down by its own heavy-handed drama and gameplay flaws. With Enslaved, the developer has reached a far better middle ground. There’s nothing earth-shattering or innovative about any of the individual concepts and features in the game, yet the overall sum of Enslaved manages to be a good deal more than its mere parts.

What holds this third-person action/adventure together is its two protagonists—Monkey and Trip. Monkey is an amazingly acrobatic brute of a man who unleashes hell on heavily armored robotic adversaries with his armored hands and energy bo staff. When not battering down foes, his climbing skills are what really earn him his moniker, and while he’s not quite a superhuman, he’s certainly close.

Trip, on the other hand, is a beautifully demure, lithe young woman. She can climb well enough, but must rely on Monkey to, of all things, toss her up or across expanses she can’t reach, and she almost never engages in combat. She’s a decided step forward in the evolution of feminine heroines in video games. She’s lovely and wears tight-fitting clothing to be sure, but on the other hand, she’s not built like a porn star. She’s vulnerable and not particularly strong, but a whiz with hacking.

The relationship between the two starts on a slave ship where both are trapped. Trip hacks her way out, while Monkey uses his brawn. In an interesting twist, Trip has no interest in helping anyone but herself get off the plummeting ship. Indeed, she almost kills Monkey in the attempt, and when the poor bastard wakes up, he discovers that she has implanted a device on his head that forces him to follow her commands.

As it turns out, Trip wants to get back home, some 300 miles west, but knows she can’t make it on her own. So, she needs Monkey’s brawn. It’s through this remarkably adversarial start, that Enslaved manages to create one of the most intriguing, well-written, and—yes—romantic relationships you’ll find in gaming. Monkey acts and looks like a Neanderthal, but as it turns out, he’s one of most sensitive and understated male action leads ever.

The dialogue between the two is often subtle, and the animation from head to toe is so refined and detailed that much of the story, emotions, and communication between the two is carried through facial and body expressions. In a genre full of dialogue and events that hit players over the head and wooden, mannequin-like characters, this makes Enslaved surprisingly distinctive.

But enough about all the touchy-feely stuff. Enslaved might be completely story-driven, but it’s still an action game at heart. You take the role of Monkey through the entire game, and as far as bad-ass action heroes go, he’s got kicking robotic booty down. Combat in Enslaved isn’t complex—it’s the usual two-attack-button fare. Monkey can upgrade throughout the game by finding glowing “tech” orbs, which can then be used to purchase new abilities.

As you progress and upgrade Monkey, combat gets more interesting, but even right from the start bashing ‘bots is fun. The game manages to make the dismemberment of its blood-free foes feel as visceral and violent as your average God of War-style game. There’s a real heft to Monkey’s attacks that make it feel especially satisfying to perform a final brutal smash on the hulking metal masses. Boss fights aren’t particularly frequent or even varied, yet the combat remains consistently engaging for these larger battles as well.

Beyond battles, Monkey spends the bulk of his time climbing things. The game starts off in a New York City that has so long since been gutted and abandoned that’s it a bizarre mix of skeletal skyscraper remains and beautiful lush greenery. It’s a view of the apocalypse that has never been seen before, and aside from the sheer visual splendor, such landscapes provide ample opportunity for Monkey to act like his namesake. The game makes climbing easy enough—it highlights features that Monkey can use to negotiate his surroundings—though hardcore players will likely find too much hand holding. Monkey literally can’t miss or fall while climbing.

All the controls are intuitive, mostly because none of the gameplay is anything that gamers haven’t seen many times before. The levels are mostly linear, with only a modicum of exploration options, and there’s pretty much nothing in the way of branching paths. At times, the controls feel unresponsive as well—Monkey can get frustratingly stuck on small steps, and the game gets finicky at the worst times when letting you jump freely. The camera can also be frequently troublesome.

As mentioned, the game is a visual stunner. The levels are varied and gorgeous, with a color palette that defies the grim nature of the world. The voice acting is superb, and the musical score is amazing—evocative and subtle, while always suiting the action. It’s somewhat annoying that the story which builds the relationship of the two leads so well, manages to almost completely skirt around any explanation of what happened to the world. The ending, while satisfying, doesn’t quite mesh with logic either.

The Blast Factor: For single-player gamers, Enslaved is a surprising treat. Despite its flaws, the characters really make this an experience worth having. The relationship between Trip and Monkey is one of the deepest and involving you’re likely to find in a game. Combine that with the brutally fun combat and exploration of the beautiful levels, and Enslaved is one of the best games of its type since Uncharted 2.

If you’re a gamer who was born in the late 90s, chances are you ask your older brother one question. “Why does your generation like that stupid blue hedgehog ?”.

Yes, indeed Sonic is now considered a flop, but there was once a time when Sonic was the arch nemesis of Mario, both of them were the most successful characters in the video gaming industry, Sega even created a subsidiary development team called Sonic Team, Sonic was on fire!

Nowadays though, it seems that Sonic is on life support, the shift from 2D to 3D wasn’t too kind to the hedgehog, with SEGA releazing one terrible Sonic game after another, and creating many useless characters along the way, such as Silver the hedgehog, and that dreadful Werehog in Sonic Unleashed. The quality of Sonic games have declined considerably over the years, the blue hedgehog no longer felt on par with Mario, but rather felt like some generic, mediocre mascot.

However, that was then and this is now, SEGA have decided to take Sonic back to his roots, and have released Sonic 4, the sequel to Sonic 3, and a game that fans have been waiting 16 years for. The question that many people will ask, is it good? And the answer, finally, is a “Yes”.

Sonic 4 Episode I is the best Sonic game in a very long time, it took SEGA over a decade, but they finally got it right. The gameplay in Sonic 4 feels like that of a true Sonic game.

The game starts out fairly simple, you find yourself in Splash Hill, an almost updated replica of Green Hill Zone, you play the first level in the game and pass with absolute ease, and then you are taken to the screen where you get the complete freedom to choose which zone you want to choose, and which act you want to choose from that zone.

While Sonic games usually didn’t let you choose the zone or act you wanted to be in, this feature doesn’t exactly give or take much from the game, just like past Sonic games you take on the boss of each zone after finishing all three acts.

The graphics in Sonic 4 are gorgeous, the game stays true to the Sonic 2D formula while updating it with HD graphics and a constant framerate that never drops, the great news to Wii owners is the fact that the game looks exactly like the PS3 and X360 versions, only in 480p, which isn’t a dealbreaker at all really. In fact, the game felt more at home on the Wii than the PS3 and X360, having the game next to other Sonic titles new and old in the Wii library made it feel like this is where it truly belongs.

Some fans have wondered what Sonic’s appearance is like in Sonic 4, does he resemble Sonic of yore? Or does he resemble the modern day Sonic? While playing Sonic 4, we played Sonic 3 and Super Smash Brawl alongside it, seeing how the best 2D sonic models of past and present are featured in said games. Sonic’s model resembles the modern day Sonic more than that of the old Sonic during SEGA’s golden era, with his long legs being the most distinctive feature.

The music in Sonic 4 is a step in the right direction, it surpasses the music in the majority of the 3D Sonic games, the downside is the fact that the music sometimes doesn’t feel like that of a Sonic game, the music is slow, and at times it’s too slow, it just doesn’t mesh with the sprinting hedgehog at times.

The gameplay in Sonic 4 adds nothing new to the franchise, and that is probably one of the greatest things in this game, seeing as how every time SEGA adds a new element to the game (like that God damned dreadful werehog), the game turns out to be a disaster. The new feature in the game is the homing attack, while this feature isn’t new in the Sonic 3D games, it’s new in the Sonic 2D ones, when Sonic is in mid-air and near an enemy, a lock-on appears and Sonic can attack that enemy, this feature actually fits in with the gameplay quite well, and is also crucial at times to progress through a level.

While the gameplay is solid, it does have some issues of it’s own. For instance, the only power ups available are the temporary invincibility and the ability to breath under water, features such as the fire ball and electiric ball were present in Sonic 3 almost 16 years ago, SEGA not including them now is an awkward strategy on their behalf.

Another issue that is noticed almost immediately is the speed of the game. It is obvious from the get go that Sonic 4 is slower than previous iterations in the Sonic franchise, especially in 2D sonic games, add the fact that you will be stopped from progressing in certain levels later on in the game until you perform some minuscule tedious tasks, and the sense of momentum in the game falls flat. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but it stops the game from being truly great.

The final, and perhaps most annoying aspect of the gameplay is the difficulty settings. Usually in video games the game becomes harder gradually, helping the players adjust to the gameplay and introduce new enemies and challenges at a reasonable pace. Sonic 4 throws this strategy right out the window and disorients you in a way like no other.

You spend the majority of the game unchallenged, quite literally breezing through the leves, by the time you reach the final zone, you’ll have around 20 lives and the only real challenge you’ll have faced is the boss of zone 3, during the three acts in the final zone, you will die around 6 times (assuming you get lucky and pass certain frustrating parts of the game quickly), then you will face the final boss of the game. Here you will die over and over again, in one of the longest boss fights in a Sonic game, at times the fight will be hard, and not in a modern day game hard, but in a Mega Man hate yourself kind of hard. And the most frustrating part about the final boss, is the tempo of the level. It is so slow it hardly fits a Sonic game.

The biggest downside for Sonic 4 isn’t the game itself, but it’s the price. Sonic 4 Episode I is priced at $15, the game can be finished in less than 3 hours if you’re dedicated enough to finish it in a single session. It has good replay value, and you can even unlock Super Sonic, but it’s not enough to slap a $15 price tag, especially when there are games like Castle Crashers, and Lara Croft and The Guardian of Light that offer mad replay value and multiplayer gameplay for the same price.

The Blast Factor: It’s almost hard to believe this, but this might the first time in over a decade that Sonic fans get two great Sonic games in a single year (assuming all goes well with Sonic Colors), this could be the year Sonic fans celebrate after all. If you’re a Sonic fan who’s been dying to play a great Sonic game, Sonic 4 is well worth the 15 dollars, if you’re hesitant and wondering if it’s worth the investment or not, you might wanna check Other PSN/XBLA titles first, like Castle Crashers and GoL, or Wii Ware titles like Cave Story.

Another Halloween means another slew of scary movie sequels and remakes. While gore-mongering franchises like “Hostel” and “Saw” have aimed to make audiences squirm in their seats over the last few years, the makers of “Paranormal Activity” and its prequel take a more suspenseful, low budget approach.

Like last fall’s surprising box office smash, “Paranormal 2” is shot in one location with a cast made up of entirely unknown actors (with the exception of “Katie” and “Micha,” the couple who were terrorized by a house-invading demon last year). Those left with questions after seeing the first “Paranormal Activity,” will be glad to know that this installment clears up many discrepancies regarding exactly why an ancient evil spirit would choose to stalk of perfectly normal young couple. Though these links to the first film are tenuous and a little too convenient, they serve the purpose of allowing audiences to concentrate on being spooked instead of worrying about gaps in plot.

In this prequel we meet Katie’s older sister, Kristi and her family that is made up of husband, Dan, stepdaughter, Ali, and infant son, Hunter (who the demon has a particular penchant for hassling). Performances by most of the cast, none of whom are yet credited on any Internet databases, are pretty natural. “Dan,” in particular fills the role of skeptical husband rather charmingly and is given some nice comic-relief-fulfilling lines. The female contingent of the cast is, at times, guilty of some fairly hammy examples of acting terrified. The number of times that “Ali” and “Kristi” perform petrified runs up the stairs or fearful treads over to a suspicious door borders on the comical.

Director, Tod Williams does a fine job of building suspense by using six stationary shots from cameras whose presence in the house is explained by a new security system “Dan” has installed after an apparent break in. What’s clever about these repetitive wide-frame shots is that they draw audiences into to every detail of a room. Rather than turning away in disgust every five seconds, as with other horror films, viewers of “Paranormal 2” find themselves searching every inch of a frame to spot a moving door or sliding toy. Unfortunately, though this kind of filming might be the movie’s biggest triumph, it also becomes its greatest downfall. After using this technique in the first “Paranormal,” and hammering it home in this one -excruciatingly long shots of a baby’s bedroom or a kitchen begin to parody themselves and the film as a whole. Giggles amongst the audience, during a sped-up sequence of the family dog sleeping, signal that making a “Paranormal” trilogy might prove to be a fairly futile endeavor.

That said, the beauty of this franchise for Paramount (the studio that has produced both films), lies in its financial turnover. Costing just $3 million to make, “Paranormal Activity 2” is expected to gross around $25 million at the box office. Even if profits proved to be much lower for a third film, Hollywood big wigs will still see sense in continuing to make these low-budget thrillers until people stop going to see them all together.

“Paranormal Activity 2” is not a revelation, it might not even give you nightmares, but it does, at least, have some form of filmmaking credibility. If your sick of watching people gruesomely tortured in absurd ways — this is the horror flick for you this Halloween.

In the two years since its release, Bethesda has kept Fallout 3 relevant thanks to a steady stream of downloadablecontent that expanded the game universe. Now however, it seems to be hurting the franchise more than anything else.

Fallout: New Vegas is a difficult beast to review. On the one hand, it adds to the experience first seen in Fallout 3 wonderfully, but on the other, that experience is nearly three years old.  The world is as massive and creative as ever, but playing through the latest chapter in the critically acclaimed franchise grows incredibly familiar and tiring all too quickly.

As you’d expect, New Vegas takes place in the year 2281 in a post apocalyptic Las Vegas, Nevada. Much like the Washington DC setting of Fallout 3, the map of New Vegas is incredibly large and impressive. In fact, the wasteland setting in New Vegas is easily one of the game’s best features. Actual landmarks like the Hoover Dam and the Helios Solar Energy Plant dot the landscape, which is tons of fun to explore. Playing through and exploring the world New Vegas presents is incredibly rewarding and the more you play, the more you’re sure to appreciate. Case in point – when you get to the actual Vegas area and see swing entertainers and the lights of the strip – it’s a truly awesome sight when you realize that up until this point you’ve been staring at a barren wasteland.

As a living  artificial world, Fallout 3 is nothing short of fascinating, but as an interactive experience, it’s a bit more thin. What worked so well before, often feels old hat here, and rather than feeling like you have complete control, it’s not uncommon to feel like the game is limiting what you can do.  Everything you’ve come to expect from the engine is here, just in a different form – while Fallout 3 began with you choosing your traits at birth, New Vegas does so after you regain consciousness after being brutally attacked and forced to dig your own grave.

While much of New Vegas’ gameplay is showing its age, the citizens of the wasteland are a different story altogether. In previous Fallout games, the factions were easy to navigate; one was good – one was bad – and so forth. Here, many of the factions come off as neutral forces, perpetuating ideas rather than stereotypical responses. This makes the game incredibly more fun to navigate, as you’ll have to really identify and choose which faction you want to align yourself with.

Each time I would get into the action of New Vegas, a technical glitch or troubling design choice halted any interest I had in the game. Several times, I had to restart my game as it caused the entire 360 to lock up. Furthermore, when the action starts to pick up, you’re left with a chugging framerate and some embarrassing textures. The worst aspect though by far is the game’s obscenely long load times. Even those wouldn’t be much of an issue if they didn’t happen so frequently. Going into a building? Load screen. Leaving a building? Load screen. It’s obviously annoying and has a tendency to take you out of the game, especially when your quest has you going through different buildings.

Those looking for more of a challenge with Fallout: New Vegas are pushed towards the new hardcore mode which severely amps up the difficulty and realism.  In Hardcore mode, stimpaks (the  game’s health system) heal over time rather than instantly, severe injuries require additional medical assistance and players must eat, drink and sleep to avoid starvation, dehydration and exhaustion. Yes, it’s as hard as it sounds, but it’s incredibly satisfying for dedicated Fallout players.

The Blast Factor: If Fallout: New Vegas were an expansion pack or DLC, it’d be instantly worth the money, but asking gamers to put down $60 for a title that adds almost nothing new, yet is chock full of technical issues is a bit much. Still, those who love The Fallout games are sure to find much to love in the Mojave Wasteland. Fallout: New Vegas isn’t the masterpiece many thought it would be, but fans are sure to enjoy one more romp with their pipboy.

There’s a scene in the new Bruce Willis spy-action-dramedy “Red” when everything is just about perfect. It comes about two-thirds of the way through the movie, and without giving too much away, it includes Bruce Willis and John Malkovich in trench coats and fedoras, Morgan Freeman bitch-slapping Richard Dreyfuss while wearing the cartoonish military costume of an African dictator, and Helen Mirren spraying FBI agents with an automatic weapon, a steel glint in her eye.

The scene is cool and funny and smart, with everyone acting at their best, and if director Robert Schwentke had filled the entire movie with that scene’s vibe, “Red” would have been a great movie. As it is it’s an occasionally very funny movie that wants to be too many things at one time.

“Red” stands for “Retired and Extremely Dangerous,” the categorization given to ex-CIA agent Frank Moses (Willis at his signature laconic). Moses is living out his days in a nice Cleveland suburb, pretending to lose his pension checks so he can call the cute customer service agent at the pension office (Mary Louise Parker). His quiet Golden Years are ruined when he realizes that someone wants to kill him, and reunites with members of his old team to figure out why he’s being targeted.

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

I’m not even going to talk about how silly it is when Frank’s nice neighborhood in Cleveland is shot to hell by black operatives without any of the neighbors noticing, or that an 80-year-old man with Stage-4 liver cancer could look as spry as Morgan Freeman (playing another retired operative with said disease), or any of the other types of madness that occur during the movie. “Red”, based on the graphic novel by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner, is a fantasy. It’s meant to be silly, and there’s a lot of charm to the plot’s stringent anti-realism.

But the silliness is tempered by too many other things- plots involving war crimes in Guatemala in 1981, corrupt politicians and Russian counter-intelligence agents. I was all ready, based on the misleading trailers, for a shit-blowing-up comedy- something fun and frothy to leaven the Oscar film season depress-a-thon. But this jerking between Willis pulling out one-liners, and discussing the murder of civilians in a Guatemalan village becomes awkward. It doesn’t help that the action scenes, though very good, are punctuated with meandering bouts of dialogue where the characters talk about “what it all means,” or “how they need to live a normal life” or whatever. It’s lazy characterization, it doesn’t lead to good comedy and it means there’s not nearly enough shit blowing up.

This wouldn’t be so frustrating, except for the wasting of a truly phenomenal cast. In addition to the considerable talent already mentioned, Helen Mirren plays a former “wetworks” agent from M-I6 (meaning she used to be an assassin) and John Malkovich plays a paranoid former agent who was given too much LSD by the CIA. These are not floundering starlets or brick-headed action stars. This is the woman who played Queen Elizabeth, and the man who, among other impossible feats, made “Con Air” an awesome movie. But even they could not save a film which changes moods like I change my socks.

That brings me back to that one perfect scene, where everything comes together and everyone does exactly what they’re good at. The music is good, the shots are beautiful, and, perhaps most importantly, it’s funny. I wonder if they shot this scene first, perhaps, or for some reason everyone was in a different frame of mind. If the rest of the movie had been like this scene it could be an outrageously funny form of escapism. As it is, the scene simply illuminates what could have been.

The scope of the video game industry has been evolving dramatically over the last few years. We now have sweepingepics, with storylines that will (well..mostly) resonate with gamers everywhere.  One thing hasn’t changed though – gamers love big friggin’ robots with machine guns.

Enter Square Enix’s Front Mission Evolved, the latest installment in the long running, cult mech series. To boil the game down to its most simple form, you control and pimp out a giant killer robot and blast others doing the same to bits. Everything sounds great right? Not when you take into account that the bulk of the game feels much like its robot protagonists – empty, cold and soulless.

In the year 2171, the world is a different place. War has broken out between rival factions working out of airborne military bases (whatever, just go with it). As you may have guessed, these factions carry out the majority of their battles in giant robot mech suits. The mech suits (this isn’t Transformers, there’s actual people in there) are truly the coolest part of the game, and you’ll get an opportunity to pimp out your mech with a ton of different armor, mobility and weaponry options.

It’s this customization that adds a ton of depth and strategy to the mix. For instance, if you add a lot of guns and armor to your mech, you’re going to be moving slow and probably won’t last long. Sadly, Square Enix doesn’t seem to understand how big of a draw the game’s customization suite could be as too often in missions you’re forced  to load out with what the game wants you to use, and not what you have equipped your mech with. Why give us these customization options if you’re going to task me with doing something completely different.

Previous iterations of the Front Mission series have been turn based strategy fair, but Evolved takes the series in a different direction with an action heavy third person perspective. Most levels operate the same way, suit up, blast the level clear of bad guys, defeat a boss, repeat. Then there are the levels that take you out of the mech suit and have you running through the level defeating easy baddies and collecting money to use on your mech. On the surface, these levels should be a nice change of pace, but they come off as sub-par third person action sequences that you’re just going to want to get over with.

Presentation is an issue throughout Front Mission. The mechs themselves are detailed nicely, but the world around them is in total contrast. The levels are uninteresting and uninspired blurs of color and faint detail and the voice acting is some of the worst you’ve heard in quite some time. The biggest issue though is just how the game feeds you information. Throughout the game, blue boxes will appear on your screen with updated mission and story information – and these aren’t small boxes, they’re large and obtuse and do their best to block out the majority of the action. What results is a frustrating experience that sees you having to start an entire section over simply because your vision was obscured by the game itself.

As large as the entire game is, the whole thing feels like practice for the surprisingly fun multiplayer suite. The modes here are pretty standard, you’ve got your deathmatch, team deathmatch and domination modes, but it’s well the game handles some of the issues of the single player game that makes it so special. Gone are the limitations and worthless requests on just what you can use on your mech, in fact – giving your mech the coolest upgrades is the biggest and most rewarding experience in the game. The mode isn’t without its flaws though, chief among them is the fact that some games have some pretty incredibly high demands. Take the dominion mode for instance, you have to play to 1000 points. That’s a pretty high level, and I often found myself just waiting for the match to end.

The Blast Factor: Unless you’re the type of gamer that salivates at the thought of giant mechs; you’re not going to find much to like about the latest Front Mission. Evolved is much like its robot protagonists – a lot of cool ascetics but no real spark of imagination.