The news that Steve Jobs is leaving Apple has rocked the tech world over the past week. Beyond that, Apple’s momentous rise over the past two years has made it one of the most valuable companies (and stocks to own) in the US.

But that success hasn’t been going on forever. Sure Apple gave us the iPod, iPhone, and iPad, but here are five products that just plain failed. Rotten apples, you could say:

5. Pippin (1996)

Ah the Pippin, with its AppleJack controller, 14.4 modem, and $600 price point.

Nintendo 64 it was not.

This gaming console PC cost way too much back in the day, and it’s modem made things impossibility slow, even by 1996 WWW standards.

Considering that N64 was about $200 back then, the Pippin never stood a chance.

4. Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh (1997)

There were some innovations here. The TAM was one of the first desktops to use an LCD screen. It also had a Bose speaker system that sounded amazing, and its design was futuristic and playful. For that reason, it was not a total failure.

But its $7,000 price was unheard of, even by Apple standards, even in the 90s.

When you throw in the fact that the TAM was just a Power Mac 6500 with speakers and a monitor for more than $4,000 extra … yeah …

3. QuickTake (1994)

If the QuickTake came out in the late 80s or even 1990, it would be marveled, up there with the Apple II, as something revolutionary, that helped usher in a new generation of tech toys.

But it came out in the mid 90s, when a dozen other companies were racing to put out much better products.

The QuickTake was one of the first digital cameras.

But it only took pictures in 640×480 resolution, had no focus, and only stored eight photos.

The camera was also designed to work with a Mac, instantly limiting its market share.

2. MobileMe

The technology is there. The clouds are there. There is and was nothing revolutionary or impossible or really even that difficult about what MobileMe was designed to do: allow users to access and edit their photos, files, contacts, and calendars from a remote location.

The problem was simple: It didn’t work correctly when it launched. The buggy launch of MobileMe helped usher its demise, along with a 50-cal slug from iCloud.

1. The Apple Lisa (1983)

Reportedly named after Jobs’ daughter, who was born when development started, the Local Integrated Software Architecture computer was Apple’s first try at a GUI-driven computer.

The computer was marketed at businesses, but it’s $10,000 price tag drove away even the hungriest greasy-handed IT department computer nerds.

Some would say the Lisa was a success because it helped usher in the Macintosh in 1984, but that wasn’t the case at all. Businesses and home users flocked to IBM’s cheaper personal computers in the early 80s, cementing the PC as the dominant platform. Apple would never recover.

For that reason, we name the Lisa has the biggest failure, in our minds, in Apple’s history. The company rules the tablet PC market and a good chunk of the mobile phone market. It has a monopoly on the portable music market. But it has never, and will never, dominate the desktop computer market, and part of the reason is because IT departments almost always buy the same “type” when they upgrade, partly because of software costs. Therefore, WINDOWS is still what’s in nearly every office and most homes.

Purposefully not on the list

The ROKR.

OK, so nobody likes the ROKR. They still bought it — a lot of them did.

At least 16 different Motorola ROKR cell phone models have been built since 2005, with the latest coming out in June 2009. It is a phone designed to carry your iTunes music. If that’s all you want, and some phone calls, then the phone worked fine. No reason to add any additional hate. No matter how lame the piece of crap is.

NeXT

Not an Apple product, but it was a Steve Jobs product. Apple bought it eventually. The computer didn’t sell well, and the platform it was built on was short lived, but this product is not a failure for one simple reason: In 1991 it was used to create the first web server.

Newton

Can’t call the Newton a failure. It was the first PDA ever. Apple CEO John Sculley actually coined the phrase “Personal Digital Assistant.” So what if it cost too much and the Palm Pilot would soon demolish it?

According to Larry “Major Nelson” Hryb’s Twitter account, Perfect Dark, one of the definitive releases in Rare’s (formerly Rareware) history, will be coming out on Xbox Live Arcade this winter, and will be in 1080p.

I have been hoping for a long time–basically since the arguments started–that both Nintendo and Microsoft would come to an agreement so that both the Wii and Xbox 360 users could relive this wonderful title, but as of now, it looks like just the 360 crowd will have it. Still, it’s a good first step.

I’ll let you in on a little fanboy secret here, the kind of thing I normally like to hide while writing. I have spent days of my life (literally days; the game keeps track of your days, hours and minutes played) playing Perfect Dark’s multiplayer mode. I still play it now, even in 2009–I have a smaller HDtv that my Nintendo 64 and Dreamcast are hooked up to, and I play a bit of Joanna Dark’s finest hours when I get the itch (in 16:9 widescreen no less, since Rare implemented that in a game from nine years ago). Unless something horrific happens between now and the game’s release, I’ll be buying this, and hopefully, I’ll see you online, where we can tag-team hordes of Dark bots. Horribly unfair Dark bots.

Hat tip to Kotaku, for publishing this story first.

This article originally appeared on Reviewcenter.com in 1999. Why haven’t we seen anything like it since? EA/VW — let’s get a game going!

By Tom Carroll

You would have to live in a cave in Northern Siberia to not know there was a new Beetle on the scene. Volkswagen pulled out all the stops in publicizing the debut of the ’90s Bug. In fact, there still may be a waiting list to own one. That’s why it’s good that Electronic Arts introduced Beetle Adventure Racing (BAR) In BAR you have the best of all worlds: a racing game that is truly worth paying cartridge prices for, and no waiting for the test drive.

BAR lets you leave the road behind and drive anywhere you want, well, almost anywhere. The game offers Single Race (good for beginners or lonely people) but it’s much more fun to take on a friend in Duel Mode, then jump into a Championship Season to uncover hidden tracks and bonus surprises. If you prefer smashing to dashing, duke it out with up to four players in a Beetle Battle where the fun is in total free-for-all annihilation.

Naturally, the cars are cool. They’re Beetles; what more do I need to say! But the game allows you to choose one that suits your own driving profile. I wanted one that was reasonably fast but would stay put on the road and not skid all over the place. That’s what I got. If I had wanted more speed and less traction, so be it (or vice versa).

The tracks are littered with bonus crates. Smash ‘em for points or to borrow a kickin’ nitro boost for a mile or so. By the way, the crates look like they should slow you down, but they don’t. Smash them with complete abandon.

Giant jumps launch your car into the stratosphere. If you keep yourself reasonably lined up with the road just prior to the jump you should have a happy landing. If not, you’ll wind up at the bottom of a ravine or under water. Glub, blub! Naturally, drivers who can’t stay on the road incur a time penalty in exchange for becoming road worthy again.

The games designers lavished time and talent on BAR’s tracks and they are what I loved most about the game. In fact, the circuits in BAR are so richly detailed and spacious that they resemble environments for racing more than just tracks. There are short cuts all over the place. Entrances to exciting detours are often hidden by foliage or obstructions; have fun, explore, smash through stuff! Oh, if you’re worried about time penalties then use the Time Trial mode to explore without fear.

I docked BAR points for Cost. Naturally, I always think that N64 cartridges are too expensive (I can just hear Nintendo suits muttering, “What does he want us to do, give ‘em away?”). I also dinged the game for sounds; although I liked the music tracks (they tend to stick in your head) they are a little too cute, tame and predictable.

Beetle Adventure Racing is an amazing racing game and a must have for any N64 owner. Although it is going out on a limb so early in the year, I nominate Beetle Adventure Racing for pole position in the race for 1999 racing game of the year.

Ups
Superb graphics
Spectacular racing tracks and jumps
Extra smart track designs

Downs
Music tracks lie somewhere between 808 State and Lawrence Welk

Quick hits:

Publisher: EA Sports
Developer: Paradigm
Platform: Nintendo 64
Genre: Racing
Players: 1-4
Launch Date: February 28, 1999

Playability: 5 out of 5 stars
User friendly: 5 out of 5 stars
Sound: 5 out of 5 stars
Graphics: 5 out of 5 stars
Overall: 5 out of 5 stars
Ratings were determined in 1998