Varys (Conleth Hill) and Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) plan for the impending siege of King's Landing.

I recognize that the following critique may seem hypocritical, considering I gave such high praise to last week’s “downtime.” But as much as the cunning and contemplation continues to enchant me, a consecutive week of the proverbial “calm before the storm” antics just didn’t cut it. The writers are stalling. Granted, it’s some of the most charismatic and enthralling diversion you will find on TV today, but when epic battles lurk in the shadows, my lust for blood grows.

Stannis is on the high seas about to thrash King’s Landing. Tywin hurries out of Winterfell’s gates to ride for Robb Stark’s camp. And Roose Bolton’s bastard Ramsay Snow, boldly approaches the Theon-occupied Winterfell. Last week had me licking my chops, awaiting the fall of these dominos. This week, I moaned and groaned as Daenerys dawdled outside the House of the Undying. Huge, seismic shifts in power and influence are dangling in front of us, it’s hard not to get stir crazy. To the show’s credit, “Prince of Winterfell” wasn’t just a cheap opening act, a place-filler. While some plots advanced at a snail’s pace (I’m looking at you Jon Snow and Daenerys), some story lines had startling shakeups—Cersei’s cruelty toward Tyrion and Robb’s romantic dalliance among them.

Part of my impatience might also come from the tonal shift. Ominous warnings of an otherworldly dark force descending upon Westeros to unleash chaos never came to fruition. My intuition insists it will, but when one’s hopes are launched into the sky, it’s hard to fall softly down to earth for an relaxed endeavor into stories and c-words. And that’s really what this episode came down to. Chiefly our new arrivals, sat back and told us their sob stories, and some familiar faces dropped c-bombs in frustration concerning the deception and ruthlessness that surrounds them. I’m not one to be squeamish about vulgarities, but it was odd to hear three different characters curse their loved ones and the gods above for being stupid and vicious Cs.

At any rate, while any time spent in this world with these tragic pawns on the “Game of Thrones” chessboard is splendid, I felt the foot easing off the gas when last week suggested that steel and sorcery alike would strike down the weak-hearted and the feeble-minded. There’s still that gloomy fog threatening, but the quiet hum of the thick air almost lulled me into a peaceful slumber before the booming drums of war.

Winterfell

C-word #1 is Theon Greyjoy, a dumb C according to his sister, Yara. She arrives at the Northern capital he conquered and berates him for his slew of decisions. First, Winterfell is too far from the sea. They are an island people, what purpose would land 100 miles in have for them? Also, now that she presumes he’s charred up the princes of Winterfell, he’s the most wanted man in the North. She mocks him and calls him out as a petulant child, branding him as weak and stupid. When he tries to “warn her,” she doesn’t flinch. She has many brutish Iron Islanders who would gladly dispense of the twerp if need be.

Yara takes some pity on him though when she dismisses her soldiers and speaks freely, not putting on assertive airs for the troops. She implores Theon to come home or he will die alone when the Northern bannermen come for vengeance. But stubborn and prideful as he is, he wants to stay and stake his claim as the new lord of Winterfell. He did a sloppy job acquiring the land, clinging to excess and showmanship instead of taking what he needed and commanding respect. His sister leaves him with a touching anecdote about how he was a terrible baby, bawling all the time. But one night when his screams made her want to strangle him, she stood over his crib and he looked up, and stopped. The metaphor is a delicate one, and I believe received it. When you were small, you respected me and knew I was looking out for you. You didn’t make a fuss, you listened. Do the same now. Know that I want you safe, that’s the only reason I’m standing over you. This is an instance where the sharing of stories between characters illuminated the situation. We learn more about the dynamic of the Greyjoy family, and his internal conflict is further elucidated.

Just as this location kicks off the proceedings, it wraps them. As Maester Luwin wanders the grounds, overhearing Theon and his first mate discuss paying the farmer for his “troubles,” he witnesses Osha smuggling food. He follows her into the underground crypts. They discuss never telling Bran about how Theon killed the farmer’s two boys to make the townspeople believe he’d been brutally murdered. Cut to an awake Bran absorbing the whole conversation, likely torn up about how his royalty has endangered others. This is supposed to be a big reveal no doubt, one the episode hinges on, BUT I was sure those were the farmer’s kids from the jump. Therefore while it’s a somber scene, it’s not one that made my heart leap to see Bran alive. Truthfully, Bran’s survival solves nothing. Youthful lives were still erased in the name of intimidation. Theon is still a sociopath who willingly had children burned alive to send a message. He’s a miserable leader, but he’s succeeded in proving he’s not beyond atrocity. And while I’m thrilled as a viewer to see Bran safe, I can’t help but mourn for the less fortunate, the non-Princes who were deemed a necessary expense for the security of the noble born. Doesn’t seem fair.

Beyond the Wall

One of the stagnancy victims this week is Jon Snow and his Night’s Watch brothers. As we know, he’s captured. Ygritte throws him before the feet of the Lord of Bones, who looked like the lovechild of an eskimo and a Juggalo. He wants to “chop his balls off,” since he already has a “crow” prisoner—I guess “crow” is a derogatory term for men of the Black? Ygritte has his life spared though by revealing that he is the son of Ned Stark and that Mance Rayder, King beyond the Wall, might be interested in speaking with him. Even in death, Ned Stark’s name has meaning.

Jon Snow is guilt-ridden to learn that the other men on their expedition were killed all because of his carelessness in not decapitating the gorgeous Ygritte. Halfhand tries to dispel that fault, but he does acknowledge he has a debt to pay, and that if he were to infiltrate the wildlings, that would be worth it. So as they trek along a mountain ledge he fakes an argument and pushes him off. The rest walk ahead and Ygritte falls behind to assist him. Is Halfhand suggesting that by getting in the girl’s pants he can attain vital intelligence? That sort of espionage doesn’t seem like Jon Snow’s forte, but I’m also shaky on what Halfhand’s plan after so little time beyond the wall.

We do get a brief scene, however, back at the main camp where Sam Tarly is digging a latrine pit. While shoveling, his pal (I believe named Grenn?) stumbles upon some markings that Sam suspects were made by The First Men. Underneath the markings, an assortment of ancient obsidian daggers is stowed away. Sam refers to as “dragonglass.” Intriguing, but I’m clueless since that’s the extent of our drop-in. It seems that because the writers wish to spread out all developments until the finale, so we only get this teaser. I’d rather do as they did earlier in the season, neglect a few locations an episode, and then come back there in a week or two. I won’t forget Jon Snow exists for a week, I swear.

Robb Stark’s camp

While not much happens in this episode, progress is made on a couple of loose ends. As Robb and Talisa stroll to whatever or wherever The Crag is, Robb mythologizes his father with a couple exceptional quotes: “He said being a Lord is like being a father, except you have thousands of children to worry about” and “He woke up with fear in the morning and fell asleep with fear in the night. I asked him, ‘How can a man be brave if he’s afraid?’ That is the only time a man can be brave, he told me.” Ah, Ned. You were an extraordinary human being. Too good for this here game.

Suddenly, a messenger gallops toward them with the news that Jamie Lannister has escaped again. But this time, he was let out. It’s a heartbreaking scene when Robb learns it was his mother, Catelyn Stark who released him. She sent him off with Brienne to trade for her daughters’ lives. Robb knows this is foolish to expect a fair trade, and that with Jamie in custody they had the upper hand. He has her locked up so that there isn’t more dissension among his bannermen who wanted Jamie executed for his crimes.

Then we get a cut to possibly the greatest idea for a GoT spinoff besides the Arya Stark and Tywin Lannister talk show. Brienne and Jamie, on the road to King’s Landing. The comedy gods have smiled upon us. Brienne, is stoic and loyal and steadfast. Jamie is manipulative, selfish, and loudmouthed. But both are respected warriors. Jamie tries to goad Brienne with taunts that she is as boring as she is ugly, and he questions whether she could hold her own if she undid his chains. While Brienne is fierce, as a swordsman Jamie is among the best in Westeros. Brienne is not stupid. She tunes him out, throws him in a canoe and paddles out. This duo could provide multiple possibilities for tension in the remaining two episodes.

Another instance of stories as distractions from the impending war is provided courtesy of by the bombshell nurse, Talisa. But with her ethical fortitude and killer bod, she may have endangered the North. She tells Robb the story of how her brother drowned on her watch, on a hot day in Volantis. She had thought he was gone when a slave with a fish tattoo on his face (to distinguish him as a lower class member) pushed her aside—a crime worthy of death since she is a highborn girl—and performed CPR, reviving the young boy. This event made her realize two things. One, she wouldn’t waste her life planning masquerades like a typical lady. Two, she wouldn’t live in a slave city ever again. As mentioned this exhibited why Robb has been so drawn to her.

Her conceptions of justice and righteousness may sometimes rival his own, but her convictions are strong. And that turns him on. He blurts out that his doesn’t want to marry the Frey girl, the one he is betrothed to. Robb then rips her clothes off and they to the floor with her aggressively mounting him, geared up for a rigorous love-making session. This is a complication to say the least. A commander with his mind on a woman, one whom he cannot marry, is asking for trouble. Maybe the idea that much of this episode felt like a distraction from doom ahead is actually a commentary on the characters themselves. Robb doesn’t want to face battle anymore. He confides in Talisa that he wants to go home. Maybe, the writers aren’t wading in the shallow end, maybe it’s the warriors of Westeros who aren’t ready to take the plunge into bloodshed yet.

King’s Landing

Since Cersei and certainly Joffrey seem inept, the preparations for Stannis’ siege are left to Tyrion, Bronn and Varys. Bronn has rounded up all the known thieves, which appalls Tyrion, but Bronn cleverly persuades him that they are the greatest enemies in times of siege, where those who aren’t fighting are starving as thieves scrounge up all the food for themselves so they come out rich when the warring’s over. Tyrion the searches his books some more for a solution to their lack of strategy.

Then we get our obligatory face-off at the dinner table between Cersei and Tyrion. She corners Tyrion about Joffrey’s insistence that he will suit up, and Tyrion says he approves. Men will fight valiantly with their king beside them. But Cersei’s aware that Tyrion would love for the runt to be killed as a result. She insults him saying, “You know why Varys is so dangerous? Because he doesn’t have a cock. That little worm between your legs does half your thinking.” When Tyrion makes the smart remark that it’s not that little, Cersei smiles deviously (and man does Lena Headey do that so well). She proclaims that she has his whore. He tries to act unaffected, joking that he thought she preferred blondes (only in the family) and that whores are just for rent, but Cersei knows that he cares for this whore, maybe even loves her. She threatens that if Joffrey is hurt, she will suffer every wound he does. “And if he dies, there isn’t a man alive who can devise a more painful death for your little…” and there goes C-word #2!

Tyrion asks to see her, and thankfully it is Ros that is whisked out, not Shae. Tyrion doesn’t allow much relief on his face, and he even promises to free Ros. Then he turns to his sister and declares his own war. “I will hurt you for this. The day will come when you think you are happy, and your joy turns to ash in your mouth.” If this episode has one saving grace, it’s that the dialogue kicked serious ass. Tyrion then runs to his quarters to make sure Shae’s still there. When he sees her at the balcony his “You’re beautiful,” is genuine. He vows he would kill for her and has her promise she is his. She consents and we see that Tyrion, who we thought was the baddest mofo in Westeros, is just as vulnerable as Robb. As Arya would say, any man can be killed. And love will likely be his assassin.

Tyrion and Varys then spend another calm reflection scene looking out over the city. Joffrey appears to arrogantly dismiss Stannis by implying he’ll give the unsmiling man a red smile, slicing him from ear to ear. Tyrion is not impressed. Varys then compliments Tyrion by saying that he is a great Hand to the King. He adds that while Jon Arryn and Ned Stark despised the game, Tyrion enjoys it. Tyrion wholeheartedly agrees, and he wants to keep playing. This open talk among the characters about their lives being a game with rules fixed to struggle and ambition reminds me a lot of “The Wire.” Then he jokes that all they gods are “vicious…” c-word #3! He asks, where’s the god of tits and wine? Varys informs him that the Summer Isles worships a fertility god and Tyrions playfully commands they sail there immediately. Tyrion just wants to enjoy life, and live it to the fullest. But to love women and sip sweet nectars you must pay a hefty toll.

Harrenhal

Tywin looks to catch Robb off guard and marches for his last known settlement. Arya wants to kill Tywin to save her brother and searches for Jaqen, who owes her one more death. Unable to find him before Tywin rides off, she asks him hours later if he can still kill him. He says he cannot, and asks for another name. She goes cutthroat rogue (the Arya I love) and says his own name. He begs her to say another and she says she will if he helps her, Gendry, and some fat kid named Hot Pie (no joke) escape. He abides, by telling them to simply walk through the gates at a certain time and the path will be clear. Lo and behold, the guards are all brutally slain and Arya and the gang just mosey on through.

On the High Seas

In this inexact location we visit Stannis as he nears King’s Landing. He shoots the breeze with Davos who explains that he’s not ashamed of his history of an onion trader and a crabber’s son. Then Stannis describes how they met, a gruesome situation where his brother Robert had him hold Storm’s End, and he and his men nearly starved before Davos’ ship snuck through with sustenance that Stannis then promptly pilfered. He’s still disgruntled over Robert giving Storm’s End to a young Renly and feels his services were taken for granted. But this is his time. He’s got a hell of a fleet, the Lord of the Light in his corner, and a tattered opposition. He assures Davos the position of Hand to the King is his once he seizes the throne, which seems all but a formality at this point.

Qarth

Nothing really happens here. Honestly. Jorah says it is too dangerous to stay and rescue Daenery’s dragons when he has a ship now that can take them across the Narrow Sea. But she resists, saying they are her children, and she strokes Jorah’s cheek retelling the tale of the night she walked out of the fire. The lovestruck man submits and says he would die for her. Could you imagine if she spread her legs for him? He’s be a mess! So, there you have it. After a pointless argument, Daenerys has Jorah’s support to enter the House of the Undying, but we don’t see it nor venture in there yet.

This feeling of disappointment was palpable for the first time this season. The ending revelation was not one for most, and several strands were left undone, leaving room for an epic penultimate next week. And while looking forward and creating anticipation is admirable, any sign of a letdown does not result in a net gain. While I still fully support a show with characters this vibrant, and with dialogue this electric, swapping stories is not the substance this show is built on. This show is about living legends, about unraveling myths firsthand. I’m ready for a clash of kings to occur soon, as much as I revel in a war of words. A lower grade for “The Prince of Winterfell” does not mean marked decline  (like the one Bronn incited in crime at the capital). It means we’re a wandering horde of warriors, awaiting our fate on the battlefield, and instead we watched our fearless leader drag his feet and say, “Did I ever tell you about the time…?”

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

Arya (Maisie Williams) and Gendry (Joe Dempsie) try to keep a low profile as the City Watch searches for them.

Any given “Game of Thrones” episode is chock-full of resonating material. Despite its medieval setting, a familiar undercurrent of gender dynamics, power, class structures, honor and nobility, political mistrust, and family all cross the temporal gap. These themes amplify our intrigue illuminating the modern truths within the fictional Westeros. But while these issues offer dimension and texture, they’re often pushed to the back burner as the plot dominates our curiosity and captures our imagination.

This week differed in that no party advanced much further towards their goal of seizing the Iron Throne, and mostly only talked about what needed to be done. Despite this stagnancy though, the episode was thematically unified. From North of the Wall to The Iron Islands, from Dragonstone to King’s Landing, their struggles shared the common thread of adjustment to new environments. Whether it’s Theon returning to his homeland of Pyke, Stannis giving himself to a new God, or Tyrion trying to learn from Ned Stark’s mistakes as the new Hand to the King, all of them saw their worlds shaken. And how they handle their change in station will determine how well they can survive the impending winter—in the literal and figurative sense.

Last week’s trek around the realm worked well, so let’s continue our quest. This week saw the introduction of The Iron Islands and most of the focus was spent on King’s Landing and Dragonstone, but we checked in on Arya and her Caravan to the Wall, Jon and Samwell beyond the Wall, and we mourned a bloodrider in The Red Waste with Daenerys.

Caravan to the Wall

We ended last week with Arya and Gendry hitching a ride on the wagon to the Wall. Gendry escaped his fate of slaughter after Joffrey ordered the execution of all of Robert Baratheon’s bastards. Arya is also on the lamb from the most slap-able face in the Seven Kingdoms—she is the Lannister’s would-be leverage in a trade for Jamie. She’s doing her best to blend in as a boy, but despite her heckling of criminals and brash banter she isn’t fooling Gendry. She fervently denies until Gendry asks her to “pull out [her] cock for a piss.” Obviously when she doesn’t comply his suspicions are confirmed, but he is shocked when she tells him she belongs to House Stark.

Mortified for speaking a Lady with such vulgarity he apologizes, but Arya isn’t interested in his pleasantries and pushes him to the ground for using her proper title “Milady.” We’ve known that Arya rejects a destiny as wife to a powerful Lord, and her father even encouraged her to train in sword fighting, but we’ve yet to see how she can handle real combat. Sure she stabbed some oaf who tried to hand her over to the Joffrey the Jerk, but she needs to prove herself beyond taking first blood. I have a hunch that the closer the caravan gets to the North and Castle Black the more her gall will be tested, and I know I’m rooting for Arya to transcend the expectations of Westerosi womanhood and become a revered soldier.

Yoren also gets a badass spotlight as he wards off a couple Gold Cloaks (the colloquial term for men of the City Watch in King’s Landing) who are sent on orders to apprehend Gendry. Quicker to the draw, he aims the pointy end right at the knight’s crotch and threatens him to turn around or bleed out from his man parts. The watchman chooses wisely and rides off, promising to return with more men so that he can leave with Yoren’s head. Something tells me his wish won’t be granted and Yoren will get the last laugh.

King’s Landing

My man Tyrion takes care of business this week, trying to stake his claim as a formidable member of the court. Varys discovers that Shae has accompanied Tyrion to the capital against his father’s wishes, but Tyrion does not react kindly to the eunuch’s veiled threat. Peter Dinklage delivers some gems this week, chief among them the much-quoted posturing from the TV spots, “I am not Ned Stark, I understand how this game is played.” And when Varys asserts that Ned Stark was a man of honor, Tyrion simply rebukes, “And I am not.” Despite his stature, Tyrion’s words sting like a blade and it channels the underdog in all of us. As the title credits suggest, Tyrion is the star of this season, and although his morals are planted in unstable earth, we’re all hoping he uproots the status quo.

Meanwhile, Cersei is still undeterred by Robb Stark and his conditions for surrender. She rips up the letter her cousin delivers and tells him to deliver back their non-reply. She also declines to aid the Night’s Watch by providing more manpower as she believes the talk of white walkers is unfounded. We as the audience know better, so it will be a nice bit of zombie karma when she’s bitten in the ass.

Tyrion continues to undercut the Queen regent’s authority by replacing Janos Slynt as commander of the City Watch. Though he’s asking for trouble, you can’t blame him considering that Janos betrayed the last two Hands to the King. He inserts his personal guard Bronn into the role, but I can’t help but wonder how loyal Bronn is. Though he has developed an affection for the imp and his silver tongue, he’s easily bought. When Tyrion asks him point blank if he would murder an infant on his orders without question (as Janos did for Joffrey) he responds, “Without question? No. I’d ask, how much?” Good to know where he stands, but can you really trust a man whose loyalty is first and foremost to gold? I suppose since Tyrion belongs to the richest family in Westeros it’s a non-issue, but this still might be troubling Tyrion.

When Cersei gets word of Tyrion exiling Janos to the NIght’s Watch she’s infuriated by his insubordination. But Tyrion diminishes the Queen’s methodology of leadership. “You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead.” Cersei’s retort cuts deeply though, as she compliments Tyrion for being funny, but reminds him that his entire existence, killing his mother in childbirth and coming into the world a dwarf, is his greatest joke. It was unsettling to see someone else verbally slaying Tyrion for once. Maybe he’s not yet the wrecking ball we’re hoping for, but I bet that jab will serve as major ammunition in episodes to come.

The Iron Islands, Pyke

As promised, Theon Greyjoy sails his way home to request a fleet from his father, Balon. Robb will need a navy if he wants to sack King’s Landing. Though my grasp of Theon’s past was shaky last season we get a brief tutorial in the form of GoT’s infamous “sexposition.” This is when the writers unload backstory while the character is the act of intercourse with a prostitute. I mean if whores are good at anything, it’s listening, right? Basically, Theon has been held as a prisoner of war by the Starks after the Greyjoys rebelled against Robert to become a free nation. As a condition of their surrender they took Balon’s only male heir as insurance. Now after nine years away, he’s returning to his homeland, and when he arrives he seems to have been forgotten.

Although, one woman does appear to remember her Lord and offers him a ride to the castle on horseback. Thus begins the eepy-cray interaction where Theon hits on this woman hardcore, even groping her during the ride. Turns out he was pulling a Luke Skywalker and was putting the moves on…yup, his sister, Yara (Gemma Whalen). Balon (played with steeliness and menace by Patrick Malahide) has evidently replaced his son with his daughter, naming her commander of his powerful navy. She’s fought men, and killed men in the Greyjoy name, which is more than he can say for Theon who has fought alongside Robb and the Starks. Therefore, Theon holds little sway with his father, and Balon refuses to be handed his former crown as Lord of the Iron Islands and wishes to pay for it with “the iron price”—winning it in battle. it will be interesting to see the power struggle between Theon and Yara now as he tries to gain back his father’s favor. But how can he ever be seen as a Greyjoy when he has called Robb brother?

Dragonstone

Another aspiring king and his subjects also must cope with changing tides, as Stannis prepares to take on all comers, including his younger brother, Renly. We gain some more insight into the man who is Stannis’ right hand, Ser Davos Seaworth. Seaworth, a former smuggler, negotiates with pirate Salladhor Saan (played the first major black actor of the series, Lucian Msamati). Like Robb, Stannis will need a formidable navy if he wants to challenge the Lannister forces, and Salladhor can provide that. Davos promises all the Lannister gold and loosely promises the queen as well. Davos’ son, who has drank the Kool-Aid about Melisandre’s fire god, is appalled that he would treat a woman as a prize, but Salladhor cheekily observes, “The only true God is between a woman’s legs.” Kinda sketchy, but is he a pirate. Plundering is his thing. Davos also seems skeptical of Melisandre’s God, saying that the only loyalty he pledges is to men who win in battle. Therefore, Stannis is his God.

Davos might have reason to question his faith though as Melisandre asserts herself into Stannis’ inner circle. The fiery-haired priestess convinces Stannis that if he wants to better his odds in battle he must give himself completely to the Lord of the Light. Aggravated, Stannis complains that he’s already burned the idols and recited the chants, what else does he have to do? Well, apparently it please the Lord of the Light for him to make love to his prophet on his war room strategy table. And as the wooden ships fall to the floor, you can’t help but chuckle at the obvious metaphor that Stannis’ military prowess will diminish now that he’s been seduced by not only Melisandre but her faith as well.

The Red Waste

Things are looking bleak for our Queen of the Dragons as she and her khalasar are wasting away in the desert waiting for word from her bloodriders. Just when Ser Jorah thinks he spots hope on the horizon, it turns out it is Rokharo’s horse returning with his bloodied head in a satchel. Jorah surmises that it must have been one of the khals sending a message that they do not approve of a khaleesi leading a khalasar. Daenerys promises to build him a grand funeral pyre so that his soul may pass to The Night Lands, the afterlife that gives the episode its title.

Beyond the Wall

Still lodging at Craster’s home, Samwell Turly admires his daughters as they walk away. He’s even bold enough to put the moves on one of them, Gilly, as the direwolf Ghost growls at her. She calls him brave and Samwell’s immediately smitten. He runs to Jon Snow and asks for his help in sneaking her out with the Watch. She fears for her child who will either be born a daughter and become another trophy wife, or be born a son and…well we’re asked to fill in the rest. Jon smartly replies that it would be impossible and too much of a risk considering they’ll need Wilding support going forward. However, the episode ends with Jon detecting a baby wailing in the night. When he goes to investigate, he sees a baby being sacrificed to a white walker by Craster himself. I figured sons were sacrificed, but that’s just about the coldest possible way to dispose of them. Then before he can turn back, he’s grabbed from behind by Craster and we’re left to mull of over the potential implications.

Across the Seven Kingdoms and elsewhere, friends and enemies alike are confronting their fates and staring death, a.k.a The Night Lands in the face. Some, like Stannis, are signing away their souls to mystical entities, some like Theon must prove to their House that they are worthy, and some like Arya and Gendry and Tyrion must prove that they have the wherewithal to use their unique set of skills in gaining the upper hand against the forces that oppose them. Who will be most equipped when winter comes? My instinct tells me it is whoever can inspire the most men to join their cause. As Tyrion tells Cersei, “her people” may not mean much to her, but it is through their adoration and allegiance that they can establish their legitimacy. Whether by the sword, or the tongue ,or by magic, whichever king has the most men backing him will win this epic clash. Though it may have cost Ned his life, honor is valuable currency in times of war. Tyrion recognizes this when he insults Janos, “I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.” The ability to win over hearts and minds seems to favor Tyrion, but already we see how quickly circumstances can change as pieces slowly begin to move along the board.

Despite a lack of forward momentum, this was another great episode including a cohesive message of adjusting to the changing political climates and superb writing—save some laughable “exposition”—that produced a ton of quotable material. The richest characters get richer, and new characters feel like old buddies as they swiftly change the game. For expanding the universe without getting bogged down in the details, GoT continues its ascendancy towards greatness.

You can ring in the new year with this hottie at Revolution Rock Bar's NYE 2011 burlesque celebration

Let’s face it: It’s pretty lame to spend New Year’s Eve in PJs watching a disco ball drop on TV at some cool celebration you’re not at. Even though 2011 is only days away, it’s not too late to make plans for a night on the town. Blast has put together a list of our top five spots to ring in the new year, each offering a unique NYE experience. Cheers!

A red carpet celebration

Calderwood Pavilion

Guys, dust off that tux and ladies grab that dress you’ve been waiting for an excuse to wear and attend the ultimate NYE celebration, which just so happens to be the official NYE event of Blast Magazine! The James Bond-themed event, hosted by Miss Massachusetts 2010 Lacey Wilson and Miss Maine 2010 Katie Whittier, will feature a red carpet entrance, professional photographers and videographers, live music and DJ entertainment, party favors, complimentary appetizers from 10 to 11 p.m. and prizes awarded to the best dressed party-goers!

Where: Calderwood Pavilion, 527 Tremont St., Boston

When: 9:30 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Tickets: $85 for general admission, $140 for VIP, VIP table for five $999. A portion of the profits will benefit The Home For Little Wanderers charity. For tickets and more information, go here. 21+ event

A sexy, scandalous soirée

Revolution Rock Bar

Enter 2011 with some va-va-voom! The world-famous burlesque group, Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce, wants to celebrate the new year with you! Enjoy the sultry and scantily-clad ladies’ performances along with complimentary appetizers, a champagne toast and party favors.

Where: Revolution Rock Bar, 200 High St., Boston

When: 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Tickets: $60. More information and tickets available here. VIP tickets also available. 21+ event

A soulful and stylish night

The Beehive

This hip spot, known for its live jazz, old school-style cocktails and fabulous food, just might be the coolest place to ring in the new year. Choose from over 69 champagnes to fill your glass, nosh on a buffet of hors d’oeuvres and desserts and feast your eyes on shimmying belly dancers while listening to live funk music.

Where: The Beehive, Boston Center for the Arts, 541 Tremont St., Boston

When: 9 p.m. to 2:30 a.m.

Tickets: $65 without food, $95 with food. Cash bar. For tickets and more information, go here or call 617-423-0069. 21+ event

A casual, inexpensive experience

Kings Lounge

Tuck that cash back in your wallet and enjoy a cover-free evening at Kings’ Back Bay and Dedham locations. There will be bowling, music, party favors and a menu available all night long. Looking to add a little romance? Then order from the three-course pre fixe menu, complete with a champagne toast, for $45 per person.

Where: Kings Back Bay, 50 Dalton St., Boston and Kings Dedham, 600 Legacy Place, Dedham

When: Doors open at 8 p.m.

Tickets: None needed; no cover charge.

For more information, go to KingsBackBay.com or KingsDedham.com or call 617-266-2695 (Back Bay) or 781-329-6000 (Dedham). 21+ event

A high-energy, club-atmosphere

The Estate

Dance your way into the new year with music from award-winning DJ Buddy Costa at this swanky, celebrity-studded night spot. Get party favors and join in a champagne toast with all the other hot, young partiers you’ve been grinding against all night!

Where: The Estate, One Boylston Place, Boston

When: Doors open at 10 p.m.

Tickets: $75, $60 in advance. For tickets and  more information, go here or call 617-351-7000. 21+ event

Guys, you can breathe a sigh of relief: your manhood can officially be recovered after your girlfriends and wives drag you to the mall for some serious wallet-denting, crowd-pushing, sale-chasing Black Friday shopping.

Thanks to Kings, a retro-inspired bowling alley, pool hall and bar, you can relax with a beer, watch the game, play some pool, eat some grub and forget the retail-induced trauma of the day. And ladies, you can avoid traumatizing your boyfriends and husbands in the first place by dropping them off at the “sitter” while you get started on that Christmas list.

Details

Friday, Nov. 26, 2010

Kings Back Bay location from 11:30 a.m. to 2 a.m.

Kings Dedham location from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m.

No cover; must be 21+

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Not true, at least in the case of these brilliant TV shows. We all know the pain of falling head-over-heels for a new show, only to realize that you are the only one in the world who understands its true brilliance…before it’s too late. Here is a list of eight of the best shows to be cancelled before their time.

1. Arrested Development
No TV family has ever been so dysfunctional to such comedic effect in the history of television. The Bluths were a successful model home dynasty, until shady government dealings left them bankrupt and their patriarch in jail. Now it’s all up to Michael, the one sane member of the family, to hold them all together. Will Arnette, Jason Bateman and especially Michael Cera pretty much owe their comedic careers to this show. Despite its cancellation, however, there are constant rumors of a film being made. Maybe this year?

2. Firefly
It was a space western. The perfect marriage of two radically different genres. Add to that a cast of plucky underdogs, groundbreaking cinematography and the humor and drama Joss Whedon (creator of “Buffy,” “Angel,” and “Dollhouse”) is known for, and you’d think you’d have an instant hit. You’d be wrong. But at least “Firefly” fans got to say “I told you so” when their beloved show was turned into a big damn movie, “Serenity.”

3. Greg the Bunny
Puppets, or “Fabricated Americans” live among us. Some of them are working alongside humans in a children’s show called “Sweet Knuckle Junction.” But instead of charmed lives, they all have problems with substance abuse, ex-wives and failure. Seth Green starred (alongside adorable Greg the bunny) in this ridiculous satire.

4. Wonderfalls
Graduating and moving back home can be frustrating. But for Jaye, who works a dead-end job at a Niagara Falls gift shop, it starts to get a little weird when the taxidermied animals in the shop start ordering her to help people in need.

5. Freaks and Geeks
The show followed the Weir siblings, Lindsey and Sam, through their eternal quest to fit in with their chosen social castes. Lindsey went from the star mathlete to an army-jacket-wearing “freak” and Sam, pining for his cheerleader dream girl, has always been a “geek.”

6. Pushing Daisies
Possibly the most adorable love story ever, Pushing Daisies focuses on the Piemaker, who has the unique talent of bringing dead things back to life. But there’s a catch: If he touches something twice, it goes back to being dead. This comes in handy while solving crimes with no-nonsense P.I. Emerson Cod, but things get a bit complicated when he brings his childhood sweetheart back to life, and can never touch her again. Also, Kristin Chenoweth sings.

7. Carnivale
The battle between good and evil takes place in the Dustbowl in the 1930′s. Humanity’s only hope lies in a traveling carnival and Ben, their new recruit and reluctant hero. Layered with symbolism, a complex mythology, and phenomenal acting, it was hard to believe “Carnivale” wasn’t renewed for a third season.

8. Kings
The classic tale of the Bible’s King David came to life for one brief season last spring. With little-to-no heavy-handed religious themes, viewers were taken into a modern-day interpretation of the story. With some of the most incredible writing television has seen in a long time and superb acting (especially by Ian McShane, or “King Silas”), the hour-long show immersed viewers in a tale of bravery, betrayal, love and power. Alas, we were left full of questions at the season finale.

It almost happened to “30 Rock,” it almost happened to “Dollhouse,” and it could still happen to “Glee.” Please, watch original shows. Don’t let the networks kill off innocent plotlines on a whim.

A late update on this story and I apologize for that:

The famed Louvre museum quickly resolved its quarrel with Egypt yesterday by agreeing to return the steles Egyptian antiquities chief Zahi Hawass accused them of purchasing on the black market, the New York Times reports.

French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand organized a special meeting to make a final decision on the fate of the five relics. The committee came to the conclusion that Egypt had provided sufficient evidence to prove the pieces were stolen and thus, made a unanimous decision to return them in good faith.

Mitterrand had previously told media that he was in favor of returning the pieces as long as proof that they were stolen was provided by Egypt.

Mitterrand also told media that the relics were not purchased on the black market. In fact, he said, four of the pieces were purchased from the Maspero gallery in France in 2000 and the other from an auction in Paris three years later.

The five estranged frescoes are believed to be from the tomb of Tetaki, a 3,200-year-old cleric who was laid to rest in the Valley of Kings near Luxor.

Egypt says it will resume relations with the museum after the relics are returned home. The French culture ministry is optimistic that the whole ordeal will be resolved in a matter of weeks.