Before I begin, I have a terrible confession to make.

I’ve never seen the original “Tron”. And believe me, I’ve tried. The 1982 Disney film about video game designers who get sucked into their own game is bizarrely hard to find. It’s not on Netflix, and the cheapest versions on Amazon were $160. You can’t find it at most video rental places- the one I tried had a copy, which was checked out. Disney, of course, is very finicky about when they release their canon, but I would have thought they would have flooded the market with the original in time for the release of “Tron: Legacy” this week.

Regardless, I was unable to procure it, and so have a gaping hole in my nerd repertoire. But research and some creative Youtube searching tells me that “Tron” was a film ahead of its time, a cheesy cyberpunk adventure flick, revered by nerds the world over. It retains its cult status through a mixture of nostalgia and “so bad it’s good” hipster ethos. I have a healthy respect and love for movies like this- the “Labyrinths” and “Fifth Elements” of the world have an important place in cinematic history too, after all.

“Legacy,” was ostensibly a good idea. To take the subject matter and jet it into the world of 3D televisions and XBox Kinect, to take the piece to the next level, and show The Grid in its panoramic, fully realized glory. “Legacy” gives rakish hero Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) a son named Sam (Garrett Hedlund), and have him explore his father’s universe, fighting his father’s corrupt alter-ego Clu (a creepy, digitally-enhanced Bridges, along with a body-double) to rescue his father from digital exile.

Indeed “Legacy” is very beautiful, with sweeping landscapes of neon and chrome. The design is reminiscent of “Blade Runner” but manages to exude a freshness that other Ridley Scott imitators have been unable to match. It’s unabashedly a fanboy movie- the women are like satin dolls, with 7-inch heels and eyelashes like sabres- but there’s real care taken with every visual I find almost craftsmanlike. Most of the film takes place in the “Tron” universe, but even the scenes in this world are gorgeous and meticulously produced. A particularly inspired scene has Flynn’s son enter his father’s old arcade, flip on the power, and stand back as the early 80s are reborn with the sounds of Pac-Man, Frogger and Journey on the jukebox.

But watching “Tron: Legacy” is like going out with a really good-looking, but very stupid date: it’s all good until they open their mouth. The dialogue, written between four authors, is embarrassingly clunky. An example. Flynn’s hot assistant (Olivia Wilde) asks Sam what a sunrise looks like. “It’s warm…bright…beautiful,” he responds lamely, which I thought was a joke until I realized it was supposed to be romantic. Bridges is basically playing The Digital Dude, literally telling Sam at one point “You’re really messing with my zen-thing, man”. There’s a certain amount of silliness I’m willing to put up with, especially where Bridges is concerned, but this is just lame.

Then there’s the 3D.

“Legacy” has a lot riding on its 3D capabilities. Unlike a lot of movies, which are shot in 2D and hastily converted in post-production, “Legacy” was shot for 3D. In the trailers it’s touting itself as the “movie 3D was made for”.

Whatever its merits, I have a feeling I’m unqualified to judge, because frankly I hate 3D. I hate it so very, very much. I hate the stupid glasses, which I have to put on over my real glasses. I hate that they get smudged. I hate that squinting through them more often than not triggers a migraine that renders me incapable of functional thought. I hate having blood, or flaming car parts, or someone’s enormous hand flung at me for no reason. Most of all I hate that 3D is meant to create a more immersive experience, but usually only serves to make me remember that I’m in a theater, watching a movie with huge, uncomfortable glasses on. So I hated the 3D in “Legacy”, though I concede it was better than the 3D in, say, “Clash of the Titans.”

I have a lot of love in my heart for big, silly, fun action movies- movies hat make things go boom and don’t take life too seriously. God knows I’ll get my fill of pretentious Oscar-bait over the next few months, and I’m happy to sit back with my popcorn and have the CGI think for me. But, just like when you go out with the hot but dumb guy, there’s only so much a girl can take before she needs to rethink her priorities.

“The great thing about doing movies with lots of stunts is that it feels as if I’m having the athletic experience I never had in high school,” says Olivia Wilde when asked about filming action scenes for her upcoming film “TRON: Legacy” in Playboy’s December 20Q (issue on newsstands and online at www.playboydigital.com on Friday).  The brunette beauty goes on to explain, “I was a theater nerd, and I always envied my friends on the field hockey and soccer teams.  They had a relationship with their coach that was so supportive…working with these movie stunt teams, I’m finally able to experience that.  You can show up weak and scrawny for a movie, with 80 percent body fat, and they’ll say, ‘You can do these stunts!’  For actors who weren’t athletes in high school that’s an amazing feeling.”

Wilde, oft deemed one of the sexiest women in Hollywood, sat down with Playboy Contributor Eric Spitznagel to discuss her upcoming movies — “TRON: Legacy,” which opens on December 17, and “Cowboys & Aliens,” which comes out in July 2011; being married to an Italian prince; her opinion of blondes; Jeff Bridges; Hillary Clinton; and Megan Fox. Following are selected quotes from the interview:

On the skintight suit she wears in TRON: Legacy: “My costume is actually the toughest, most bada*s thing I’ve ever seen…It would be difficult to be a stripper in that suit because it’s almost impossible to get it off.  It would be a three-hour striptease and you’d need at least five assistants onstage with you.”

On her TRON: Legacy co-star Jeff Bridges: “The thing about Jeff is, in a lot of ways he really is the Dude [from The Big Lebowski].  He has an inner peace I tried to learn from and this easy-going, come-what-may, go-with-the-flow attitude that’s such a joy to be around.  Nothing really fazes him.  With Jeff it’s all going to be okay.”

On Megan Fox’s declaration that Olivia is so sexy it makes her “want to strangle a mountain ox”: “I thought it was a witty, clever choice of words.  There are a lot more boring ways to compliment someone, and it’s rare when actors in this business compliment each other…Shortly after Megan said that, a writer on House who’s also one of my best friends drew a mountain ox on my dressing room mirror and underneath it wrote SAVE ME, OLIVIA! PLEASE MAKE OUT WITH MEGAN!”

On how she’s made her onscreen lesbian kisses believable: “Acting is acting.  It’s not as if I play myself most of the time and kissing a woman is one time I depart from that.  It’s fun to play things that are different from you.”

On her wedding, which took place on a school bus: “The bus was the only place we could be completely alone.  The wedding was a secret, and we wanted to do it someplace where we could hide with our best friends.  It was all about the intimacy of the promise we were making.  When I go to weddings it’s usually all about the party and the place settings and the dress and the flower arrangements.  Our wedding wasn’t about any of that.  I mean, come on, we got engaged at Burning Man.  We were hippies.  We lived on that bus for months.”

On being an Italian princess through marriage: “I never call myself [a princess].  I occasionally get mail that says ‘Principessa.’ It’s all part of being this lucky person who has been welcomed into an interesting family with a long history…How many people get to say ‘This castle has been in our family since the 1400s’?”

On her parents, both of whom are journalists who travel to war-torn countries: “They still travel to some amazing places.  In fact, my mom’s getting ready to go to Yemen for 60 Minutes. It’s actually kind of adorable; they try to pretend my job is more interesting than theirs.  We’ll have conversations and they’ll act as though fighting fake aliens in a movie is more exciting than my mom going to Yemen.”

On changing her last name from Cockburn to Wilde when she was a teenager: “I always thought having a pen name was so romantic.  I honestly didn’t foresee that people would look at it as a sexy name, like ‘She’s wiiiild!’  Anytime a story is written about me, the title is usually some pun on my last name – ‘Born to Be Wilde’ or ‘Take a Walk on the Wilde Side.’  (laughs) I don’t mind it; it’s just not something I ever considered when I picked the name.”

On whether or not blondes have more fun: “No, that’s bullsh*t.  It’s not true at all.  But I have to give credit to blondes.  Having been raised by one and being one, it’s great to surprise people when they have low expectations.  Often stupid people expect nothing from a blonde, and then the blonde can shock them by being Hillary Clinton.  I’m pretty sure she has fun.  I mean, she gets to travel everywhere, eat amazing food in all these different countries – you know she’s having a great time.  And she probably enjoys being underestimated just so she can blow people away.”

On winning a pancake-eating contest in Australia by eating 33 pancakes: “I entered the contest only because they said a woman could never win, and that’s a surefire way to get me to do something.  I’ve always had a huge appetite and don’t get full easily, so I guess I was meant to be a competitive eater, the way some people are born to be long-distance runners.  But I’d never do it again.”

On her dream car: “I think I own it – a 1958 Chevy Biscayne.  It’s cool because I grew up wanting the 1954 Bel Air, but that car is almost too perfect.  There’s something about the Biscayne that’s a little funkier…The great thing about driving one of these cars is that it makes other drivers happy.  People smile at you and let you cut in.  It’s as if they’re grateful you’re still driving it.  But the cars are not exactly discreet.  My life has changed so that I try to blend in more…Now the last thing I want to do is drive down the street and call attention to myself.  That’s what driving my Biscayne does.”

Really cool having Jeff Bridges present “A Serious Man.” Gotta say, it is appropriate to have “the Dude” present the Coen Brothers’ movie. New update for those who dont know — Jeff Bridges is starring in the brothers’ remake of “True Grit,” the movie that John Wayne won his Oscar for. Matt Damon and Josh Brolin are costarring, so expect the upcoming western to be an awards contender in 2010.

Got to love how they pick these presenting duos. The only connection between Jake Gylenhaal and Rachel McAdams… they are both really hot.

Best Adapted Screenplay is another stacked category. Just another example of how strong a movie year 2009 was. Wow! First big upset. “Up in the Air” had been the heavy favorite for months. I wonder if the spat between writers Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner had anything to do with it. Reitman definitely took a big PR hit with how dickish he seemed to be at the Golden Globes. Honestly, if it wasn’t “Up in the Air” I would have preferred “An Education.” Nick Hornby’s script was gorgeous.

And what an awkward but heartfelt speech by Geoffrey Fletcher.

“I wrote that speech for him.” Steve Martin, you are comic gold. And Queen Latifah, looking beautiful in pink, presents another montage. This one for the Governor’s Award.

"The Men Who Stare at Goats" plays like a collection of scenes without a central thread uniting them. Perhaps worse than the film’s lack of cohesion is its smugness- the movie practically shouts at the audience, "Laugh already! This is really funny!" Unfortunately, more often that not, the movie simply doesn’t deliver.

The film tells the story of the Pentagon’s attempts during the Reagan administration to create an army of psychic soldiers. "The New Earth Army" is founded by Bill Django (Jeff Bridges, in full on "Dude" mode), an army officer who searches for alternative means to wage war after being wounded in Vietnam.

After years spent in the counter-culture scene, Django comes back with all kinds of new ways to fight America’s enemies (psychedelics are heavily involved) and with the help of the intensely zealous Brig. Gen. Dean Hopgood (Stephen Lang), gets funding for his unit of "American Jedis."

Ewan McGregor gets his meatiest role in years as Bob Wilton, the journalist looking for a story about the New Earth Army. McGregor drives the film. Unfortunately the character feels completely misconceived. Instead of focusing on Wilton’s journalistic quest for a story, the script is more concerned with his desperate search for meaning in his life. This makes Wilton become an active participant in the craziness he is encounters instead of a lens through which the audience can enter such a bizarre and zany world.

Wilton turns to Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) — a former New Earth Army member who he encounters in Iraq — to act as his source and life coach. Clooney dives into the part with relish. With his mustache, sun-baked skin, and movie star good looks, Clooney resembles an enthusiastic and crazed Clark Gable. He clearly has a ball playing off-type. Clooney’s enthusiasm and pure star power almost make the whole thing work.

By having Wilton embrace Cassady’s crazy lifestyle, the audience is left without a levelheaded perspective with which to counter Cassady’s eccentric ways (The guy thinks he can cause clouds to disappear with his mind).

Maybe a stronger director could have wrangled all of this together and turned it into something that worked. Simply put, Grant Heslov seems completely overwhelmed here on his first feature. Heslov, Clooney’s producing partner, seems to have given the actors free reign to play their characters however they wanted- whether it serves the narrative or not. The comedic beats are poorly timed and Heslov does a tremendously awkward job of integrating the more dramatic scenes throughout the film. The worst thing a comedy can do is make you question whether or not you should be laughing.

Walking out of the theater I couldn’t help but think that "The Men Who Stare at Goats" comes off as a lazy and self-congratulatory film. While it’s clear the actors are having a lot of fun, there seems to be little attempt at engaging the audience. I’m glad they all enjoyed it, because I sure didn’t.

“The Men Who Stare at Goats” is now in theaters.

It’s that time of the month again. Where we get all happy and perky and start giving you all kinds of free gifts for no apparent reason.

It’s like Blast’s reverse PMS.

This time we’re giving yous guys 50 — FIFTY — passes to “The Men Who Stare At Goats” staring George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor, and Kevin Spacey.

And there’s more. Each of the FIFTY passes we’re giving away admit you and a guest. That’s 100 people in Boston who are going to see a movie exclusively because you read Blast.

You know the drill by now. Register an account or log-in and post a comment saying you want tix.

The screening is November 5 at 7 p.m. at the Boston Common AMC theater.

SAN DIEGO — In the year since Disney teased us with a few seconds of video at Comic-Con 2008, fans have been anticipating the 2009 3D Comic-Con panel. Fans of the 1982 cult classic “Tron” waited with baited breath for details to emerge on the sequel.

Definitely, there is something definitely worth seeing for fans new and old. The original “Tron” took audiences into virtual world as its main character Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), a hacker and computer programmer, becomes digitized and trapped into a computer program of his creation. “Tron Legacy” promises to provide the same amount of action and innovating technology without losing the classic look and style.

Scenes screened for viewers at Comic-Con’s first ever 3D panel reveals more intense chase scenes and special effects. The premise for “Tron Legacy” takes the story to a new generation where Flynn’s son (Garrett Hedlund) takes measures to find his father. Also in the film is “House” star Olivia Wilde, whose character remains a secret.

At the press screening for the much anticipated film, director Joseph Kosinski, writer Steven Lisberger and cast member Jeff Bridges revealed more, even delving into the music behind the film, which will be headlined by French band Daft Punk.

“I think that cyberspace and that technology will continue to evolve,” said writer Steven Lisberger. “I think now is the right time for this film.”

This film will definitely build upon the strengths of the original, combined with the amazing capabilities of modern technology. Also at the panel, images and scenes from the film were displayed for fans, revealing the original and remodeled versions of the Tron Light Cycles.

As far as the vision and the context of the film, Lisberger revealed the movie will definitely explore the intermediary time between 1982 and 2010.

“For those unfamiliar with the Tron universe, this will be a standalone film. This film will take place in 2010 with the mystery of what happened in 1982 and 2010″ Kosiniki said.

“Tron Legacy” promises to give audiences a glimpse of the classic in a brave new world, and judging by the reception of its fans during the preview panel, this modern classic lives on.

These are the movies Blast is excited about seeing in the month of October:

Rachel Getting Married

Who: Anne Hathaway, Rosemarie DeWitt, Bill Irwin, Tunde Adebimpe, Debra Winger

What: Kym (Hathaway) returns home for her sister’s wedding and bring back years of family tension and personal problems with her. What should have been a happy weekend is sent towards disaster once Kym gets into the mix.

When: October 3

Why: Hathaway’s performance (a complete 180 from her typical girlish comedic fare) has been being talked about for an Oscar nod since talk first surfaced of her role.

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

Who: Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Jeff Bridges, Danny Huston, Gillian Anderson, Megan Fox

What: Based on the novel based on the true story, the film follows the story of Sidney Young (Pegg) who is hired by a big time New York magazine. Young enters high society and makes a complete fool of himself, catches the attention of Sharp editor Clayton Harding (Bridges) and lands himself a job. Instead of schmoozing with everyone like he is told, Young makes a fool of himself and sets himself on the fast track to destruction.

When: October 3

Why: Pegg has a great sense of humor when it comes to making comedies. Also, the book, which is written by the real Sidney Young, is supposed to be hysterically funny. It’s been too long since our last great satire.

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Who: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, Alexis Dziena, Ari Graynor, Aaron Yoo, Jay Baruchel

What: Nick (Cera) is a musician in a Queercore band struggling to get over his ex. Norah (Dennings) is trying to keep an eye on her drunk best friend. They meet up, make out, and then end up going on the wildest search of their life to try to find their mutually favorite band.

When: October 3

Why: We’ve already seen the movie, and it’s really cute. Not the greatest thing ever, but Michael Cera deserves your $10 for his performance.

Body of Lies

Who: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe

What: Based on the novel of the same name, the film is about CIA operative Roger Ferris (DiCaprio) who uncovers a lead on a terrorist leader suspected to be working out of Jordan, and has to enlist the help of CIA veteran Ed Hoffman (Crowe) and the head of Jordanian intelligence. Ferris has to figure out whether these men are truly his allies, or whether he has put his operation and safety on the line.

When: October 10

Why: It looks a bit over-the-top, but DiCaprio is having a serious comeback, and his chemistry with Crowe looks phenomenal. Also, Ridley Scott (who is directing) always brings the best out of Crowe.

Max Payne

Who: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Chris O’Donnell, Beau Bridges, Ludacris

What: After Max Payne (Wahlberg) finds his family killed and he himself is left for dead, he comes back to take his vengeance on those who have sought to destroy him: both natural and supernatural.

When: October 17

Why: We saw the presentation on it at Comic-con and, trust me, it looks AWESOME.

W.

Who: Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks, James Cromwell, Ellen Burstyn, Thandie Newton, Richard Dreyfuss

What: Oliver Stone directs an autobiographical film chronicling the life of President George W. Bush from his college days until his presidency.

When: October 17

Why: A seemingly-critical autobiographical flick about the life of George W. Bush directed by Oliver Stone starring Josh Brolin? Oh, I am so there.

Pride and Glory

Who: Edward Norton, Colin Farrell, Jon Voight, Noah Emmerich, Jennifer Ehle

What: Norton and Farrell are brothers in a multi-generational New York City police family, where one finds the other embroiled in a case that causes them to choose between their loyalties to each other and their loyalties to the department.

When: October 24

Why: This will be one of those underrated-but-awesome Colin Farrell flicks (“In Bruges”), accentuated by the fact that it co-stars Ed Norton.

Changeling

Who: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Michael Kelly, Colm Feore

What: Christine Collins (Jolie) comes home one day in 1928 Los Angeles to find her son, Walter, gone. Five months later, Walter is found and returned to her by the LAPD. However, the boy who is returned to her is not her son. Thus ensues a battle between her and the police department, who try to convince her that the boy is in fact her son.

When: ‚ October 24

Why: This newest Eastwood film stirred up a lot of interest at Sundance this year, and the trailer looks eerie. This looks to be one of Jolie’s best performances yet.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Who: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson

What: Lifelong platonic friends, Zack (Rogen) and Miri (Banks), decide to direct and star in their own homemade porno to solve their financial woes.

When: ‚ October 31

Why: 1. Kevin Smith creation. 2. Seth Rogen starring. 3. Elizabeth Banks, who two weeks previous stars as Laura Bush in “W.” Talk about diversity. 5. Star Wars spoof porno.