The producers of "The Switch" no doubt would like to market itself as an "off-beat", or "unique" comedy. Something that defies the norm, that gets people thinking, etc. Certainly this was true with their previous movies "Juno" and "Little Miss Sunshine," surprise successes that the "Switch" trailers take pains to make you aware of.

But just because the same guys made those movies doesn’t make "The Switch" either of them. Because despite an original premise and a decent cast there’s nothing new.

The new quirky premises surrounds a woman (Jennifer Aniston) who decides to get inseminated and her neurotic best friend Wally (Jason Bateman) who in a drunken fit drops the chosen "sample" and is forced to donate his own.

Bateman plays his best version of Jason Bateman. Aniston is her best Jennifer Aniston. Jeff Goldblum and Juliette Lewis play the kooky friends. Patrick Wilson is the good-looking nice guy. In short everyone plays themselves, the way they do in every film you’ve ever seen them in. The frame of the movie, however unusual the details, is the same as well: boy meets girl, boy accidentally inseminates girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. There’s even a classic montage of Aniston and Bateman staring out the window wistfully while angsty music plays in the background.

Which is not to say that doesn’t work. Aniston and Bateman are extremely likeable, and every line Jeff Goldblum delivers is pure gold. Newcomer Thomas Robinson, who plays the adorable product of the mistaken insemination, is charming and well-balanced as a young actor, with a minimum of hamming and Olsen twins-style cuteness. There’s a lot of well-written humor (the scene where Bateman drunkenly makes his donation with the aid of a magazine article about Diane Sawyer is especially hysterical.)

The problem is there’s nothing unconventional about this so-called unconventional comedy. And it cant be ignored that though the movie contains many platitudes about the modern family, in the end the only that will make Bateman and Aniston’s characters happy is the nuclear family unit: mommy and daddy and baby in one neat, conventional little package.

“Couples Retreat,” a painfully unfunny comedy, is a lazy and slapped-together movie. It is constructed around scenes of wasted opportunity and characters with no vitality or humor.

Vince Vaughn, who wrote the script along with co-star Jon Favreau, has to shoulder a lot of the blame. Vaughn, so lively and uninhibited in movies like “The Wedding Crashers” and “Old School”, seems stifled here as a leading man. I can’t help but think that maybe Vaughn would be better served by going back to playing sidekick to actors like Owen Wilson. Vaughn drowns here trying to support the plot and worst of all, does not seem capable of setting others up for laughs.

What is even more frustrating is that instead of at least taking the opportunity to try something new, Vaughn’s Dave fits directly into his increasingly unfunny comfort zone. Dave is a self-involved workingman who meets anyone who suggests that his priorities are out of whack with incredulity. Sounds kind of familiar right?

While there are a couple of moments where Vaughn shows off the rapid-fire, stream-of-consciousness delivery that seemed so fresh a few years ago, it is all rather joyless. Vaughn is just giving the audience what he thinks they want.

The only time the film clicks, is when it puts the whole cast together – something it doesn’t do very often. The film’s best scene has the four couples responding to an overly amorous and inappropriate yoga instructor. It is one of the few moments where the entire cast is given an opportunity to play off of each other, which I found ridiculous, considering the fact the movie is being sold as a gathering of really cool actors.

There are far too many scenes of couples therapy that aren’t funny and don’t take advantage of the gorgeous island location- for a movie set in one of the most beautiful places on Earth, too much of the action takes place indoors. I can’t help but think that the movie was written that way so the actors could enjoy as much beach time as possible- hardly the thinking you want screenwriters basing script decisions on.

Favreau and Vaughn have some nice moments together, but it is more due to their natural chemistry than anything that is in the script and there work here is light years away from their classic pairings in “Swingers” and “Made”.

Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell do solid work as Jason and Cynthia, the uptight and uber-organized couple that plans the retreat to help their marriage. Bell in particular adds some genuine emotion to the more serious scenes, which almost made me believe her marriage to Jason – she definitely deserves better material.
First-time director Peter Billingsley (yes the guy who played Ralphie in “A Christmas Story”) does a decent job keeping the film moving but misses a few chances for some big laughs, particularly a scene involving a guitar hero battle between Vaughn and an employee at the resort. Billingsley’s direction robs Vaughn of any chance to cut loose and have fun. Like a lot of the film, the scene is all set up and no punch line.

I would love to think that “Couples Retreat” will serve as a wake-up call for Vince Vaughn and that next year we will get something funny and daring from an actor who used to be both. Then again, I said the same thing last year after seeing the horrendously wretched “Four Christmases”. I shudder when I think about what we might be subjected to next.

Continued coverage

8:28 p.m. Regis Philbin appears to be teetering on the edge of senility. He just said hello to “Xavier Bardem,” sitting in the front row of the Kodak. Let the show begin!

8:23 p.m. Recently-turned-21-year-old Ellen Page is adorable and gracious. She seems truly thrilled and honored to be at the ceremony. Or maybe she’s just happy the Barbara Walters interview is over.

8:20 p.m. Psycho alert! The AP has a story up with the headline “Gary Busey harasses stars on red carpet.” He is totally going to be the talk of tinseltown tomorrow. I’m surprised if they even let him into the ceremony.

8:15 p.m. Helen Mirren looks GREAT (another red dress). I’m always amazed at how softspoken and shy Daniel Day-Lewis is in real life. ABC just reminded Amy Adams that she’ll be singing in front of a billion people; she momentarily looked like she was about to vomit. And good God, Regis Philbin is now interviewing 84-year-old “bleacher fan”/starwatcher Sarah Golden. She and Gary Busey would make a good couple.

8:05 p.m. I’m not sure if it’s because English isn’t her first language, but Marion Cotillard seems to me to be sort of vapid in every interview she does. ABC is going through a revolving door of nominees (and Miley Cyrus, ugh) now in the final half hour before the show starts. Laura Linney looks great; Javier Bardem is there with his mother.

7:59 p.m.: Low point of the evening: Ryan Seacrest just gave Katherine Heigl a plate emblazoned with his mug as a housewarming gift.

7:55 p.m.: Aww! “Enchanted” co-stars Patrick Dempsey and Amy Adams just had a brief reunion on the carpet. “How nervous are you?” Dempsey asked Adams, who will be singing one of the nominated songs from the film. Moments later, Dempsey’s wife strangely described their infant twins as “juicy and delicious.”

7:51 p.m.: Casey Affleck and his wife look duly unimpressed with Ryan Seacrest, who eventually shooed them away in favor of Hillary Swank. The former Oscar winner also looks like she wants to die talking to him. Katherine Heigl is the latest actress to be wearing red and looks stunning. She’s definitely destined to play Marilyn Monroe in a biopic one of these days.

7:49 p.m.: It seems like red is the “in” color this year. Anne Hathaway, Ruby Dee, Julie Christie and Miley Cyrus all match the carpet. Mmm, Johnny Depp just arrived with glasses and short hair. And Ellen Page, in a dress! She looks uncomfortable. Colin Farrell’s date is his mother.

7:39 p.m.: Ryan Seacrest continues to make an ass of himself, first making fun of Marion Cotillard’s French accent and then forcing her to do an American one. But compared to Joey Fatone, who inexplicably breaks into high-octave song every few minutes (example: “Here’s another one of the nomin-EEEESSS!”), he looks like Brian Williams. Tilda Swinton just admitted she’s never seen the ceremony, even on TV. Interesting.

7:36 p.m.: Breaking: Cameron Diaz did not get Drew Barrymore a birthday present. (Why is she here?)

7:30 p.m.: Barbara Walters is talking to Ellen Page like the actress is 5 years old. Page is giving a great, articulate interview and Walters looks confused (her comment on the Moldy Peaches’ performance on The View: “I don’t get it.”) Walters lobbed a softball sexuality question at Page, who managed to dodge the bullet. Now Walters is forcing Page to sing and play guitar while she looks on like a scary grandmother. And now she’s singing along. God help us all. Back to the carpet.

7:25 p.m.: EVERYONE is talking about Gary Busey. He’s like the drunk guy who does embarassing karaoke and hits on interns at your office party. Ryan Seacrest just admitted he had never met Busey before and commented on Jennifer Garner’s look of sheer terror.

7:17 p.m.: Ryan Seacrest literally just cornered Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney to awkwardly interrupt what looked like a very pleasant conversation. Now Gary Busey (?!?!) just barged in and mauled both of them. They both look horrified and are running away, much to the dismay of Seacrest, who’s still getting jostled by Busey. (“I have no idea how to explain what’s happening on the red carpet right now … Jennifer Garner’s never coming back to red carpet again.”)

7:10 p.m.: Amy Adams is the first celebrity who looks genuinely excited to see Ryan Seacrest. But not anymore … he just took her tiny, empty purse and began modeling it.

7:06 p.m.: There’s been a lot of commentary that tonight is the first public appearance George Clooney has made with girlfriend Sarah Larson. She looks bored, and slightly miffed at Lisa Rinna’s unabashed fawning over her man. Apparently it’s pouring in L.A., but of course the red carpet is under a tent. Jennifer Garner just ran in under an umbrella.

7:02 p.m.: Good lord, Patrick Dempsey is GORGEOUS. I’m glad Barbara is doing some sort of Hannah Montana nonsense so I can pay attention to McDreamy on E! Ryan Seacrest apparently agrees with me, by the way. (“Wow, your eyes are so blue. They’re magical.” Seriously.)

7 p.m.: Barbara Walters’ Oscar pre-show special is starting on ABC, competing with red carpet coverage on E! and TV Guide. Henceforth, witness channel flipping become an art.

6:56 p.m.: Teen nominee Saoirse Ronan (“Atonement”) is being escorted by her father, who incidentally is only about three inches taller than she is. She seems like an Irish Dakota Fanning.

6:53 p.m.: Presenter Anne Hathaway talking about trying not to fall down the stairs. She’s definnitely one of the fashion “hits” of the night so far, as is Patrick Dempsy – yowza. Ryan Seacrest unfortunately balked at Hathaway’s date’s foreign-sounding name. Ruby Dee looks classy as well.

6:50 p.m.: ABC just teased an interview with “Best Actress nominee Laura Linley.” Hmm, never heard of her.

6:47 p.m.: “Juno” star Jason Bateman on George Clooney’s hair: “It’s amazing how real it looks, isn’t it?” And now he’s talking about a possible “Arrested Development” movie!!!! That’s it. For me, the rest of the night is inconsequential.

6:30 p.m.: Thank God things are finally getting interesting. Amy Ryan and George Clooney just arrived and both look great. (Not together). Ryan appears genuinely excited and overwhelmed, but seems appalled that Ryan Seacrest just forced her to fake-punch him so E! could try out sound effects (sigh). Anybody else find it jarring to hear her speak without a Dawchestah accent after nailing it in “Gone Baby Gone”?

6:21 p.m.: “I drink your soy shake?” Lisa and Joey’s parodies of the Best Picture nominees are getting old FAST. E! is doing a Britney Spears update. Lisa Rinna is talking to two Italian men nominated for Best Live Action short and has about as much of an idea who they are as I do.

6:16 p.m.: I have to admit, one of my favorite parts of award show pre-shows is watching the cable anchors fumble their way through questions, especially when they’re talking to celebrities (or about movies) they clearly know nothing about. Like, for instance, Lisa Rinna blanking on “MPAA” when talking to President Dan Glickman just now. Whoops.

6:01 p.m.: Jon Stewart looks fairly relaxed and not at all nervous, talking to E! in a t-shirt during show rehearsals. Also, the “Most Unbearable” Award is a toss-up between Ryan Seacrest and TVGuide’s Joey Fatone and Lisa Rinna, trying to kill time while they wait for the A-, B- and C-listers to start showing up.

5:33 p.m.: E! = class. Quote of the night so far, during a discussion about knocked-up celebs: “Jessica Alba, of course, uh, pregnant and not married. But this is Hollywood, so it’s okay!”

5:15 p.m.: Okay, E!’s “True Hollywood Story” of Leah, the “Real Girl” (a.k.a. Blow-up doll) from “Lars and the Real Girl” is pretty amusing. Meanwhile, over at TVGuide, you can practically hear crickets chirping as the anchors try to fill airtime in between infomercials.

5:01 p.m.: Hello, Blast readers! Tonight I’ll be taking you through Hollywood’s annual love-fest to itself, the Academy Awards. The TV Guide channel has been doing coverage since 2:30 this afternoon and let me tell you, as I type this three-and-a-half hours before the show begins, the coverage of the empty tents and vacant red carpet is absolutely riveting.

I’ll be flitting between TVGuide, E! and ABC for pre-Oscar coverage, so stick around!

In a last minute move, Juno will join the best movies of the year list because of how teenage pregnancy is shown in a smart, comedic, but still dramatic way. Many have said the film is quirky and they couldn’t be more accurate. Every cast member exemplifies their character and the music, played at just the right moments, gives the movie an "indie film meets Hollywood studios" characteristic.

Juno MacGruff (Ellen Page) is a promiscuous high school girl who wants to try sex and decides to do so with her best friend Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). Her trial ends up in an unexpected pregnancy and a need to mature fast to decide between having an abortion or a baby. Juno opts to give the child up for adoption.

The process of interviewing parents is entertaining since Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman play the young materialistic couple considered for the position effectively. Garner passes off great as a busy cosmopolitan and Bateman’s free spirited personality shows the truth about couples not always being on the same page.

Another interesting relationship is that of Juno’s parents. As she tells her folks of the pregnancy and grows larger in size, audiences can see where this teen gets her dry sense of humor about her situation. Juno’s parents are unsurprised and understanding, to the point of admitting that having sex was probably not Paulie’s idea. Allison Janney and J.K. Simmons play parents that are concerned but in a way clueless and vulnerable.

Overall the film portrays the preoccupying issue many teens have to deal with, with optimism and authenticity; without making audiences think that sex and its consequences are easy to handle.

Page’s performance is exemplary, truly showing that her success in Hard Candy was not just beginner’s luck. As a director Jason Reitman’s sophomore production worked well with the script of ex-stripper Cody Diablo. Diablo’s life experiences probably helped write a witty script that made for a great film. Rated PG-13 this is the last must-see movie of the year.