Listen Up

Hometown heroes the Dropkick Murphys have shipped up to Boston for a set of shows at the House of Blues. Check them out on March 16. Doors open at 6 p.m., and the show starts at 7 p.m. Standing room tickets are $32.50, and reserved seating tickets are $60. 

Eat and Drink Up

If traditional Irish fare isn’t your thing, venture to Ole Mexican Grill in Cambridge and Zocalo Cocina Mexicana in Boston on March 17 to enjoy the very best of Irish-Mexican cuisine. Pair chef Erwin Ramos’ corned beef and cabbage tacos with baby Guiness shots and Irish tea. Dinner is served from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. at both locations. RSVP to Ole at 617-492-4495 and to Zocalo at 617-456-7849.

The Black Rose Irish pub will be opening its doors at 8 a.m. on St. Patrick’s Day, featuring live Celtic music all day long.

Jamaica Plain’s Doyle’s Café will be serving up corned beef and cabbage alongside the tunes of the  Boston Police Gaelic Column of Pipes and Drums on March 16, and the Fenian Sons on March 17. Times TBA.

Head to America’s first Irish sports bar, McGreevy’s, on St. Patrick’s Day to enjoy a traditional Irish brunch (starting at 8 a.m.) and to watch the live streaming rugby match between Ireland and England at noon.

Step Up

The St. Patrick’s Day celebration on March 17 at Faneuil Hall features performances from The Bay State Pipers (11 a.m. to noon), O’Shea Chaplin Academy of Irish Step performers (noon to 1 p.m.), the Carlynton High School Band (1 p.m. to 2 p.m.), the Wood School Of Irish Step Dancing (1 p.m. – 3 p.m.), and the O’dwyer School of Irish Dance (3 p.m. to 4 p.m.).

The South Boston St. Patrick’s Day Parade kicks off March 18th at 1:00pm.

Available all year, three miles of the Irish Heritage Trail might prove particularly interesting after a few drinks.

Sober Up

If all that celebrating has got you feeling “down,” head over to McGreevy’s for a Feeling Green Hangover Party on March 18, starting at 10:30 a.m. Nothing says “headache cure” like an ice cold beer and the NCAA basketball Touney. Top o’ the morning, indeed!

We Blasters tend to raise our electrical bills in November and December as we test out the holiday season’s gifts, games and gadgets. This year is no exception, economy or no economy. But what did surprise us this year were the extraordinarily low prices of some of the gifts — many of which are under $100 this year.

Without further ado:

OCZ Technology 240 GB Vertex 3 Solid State Drive – $400

If you have someone on your gift list that needs a computer upgrade, the odds are this is it. Solid state hard drives are the best thing going right now, the the OCZ Vertex 3 is a great one.

With a transfer rates averaging over 190 MB/sec on HD Tune, it is much faster than a traditional hard drive. Windows 7 is optimized for solid state drives, and they zoom. PC’s aren’t dead yet, so keep upgrading!

First Act Soulo iPad Microphone and Karaoke App – $69-$99

Of all the things your iPad can do, I bet you never thought to add “karaoke machine” to the list. Well keep on thinking, because you haven’t yet found something that your iPad can’t do.

The Soulo iPad Microphone and Karaoke App does both things. It has a full-size mic to jam away, and a functional app that displays lyrics from the songs in your iTunes library. It also has audio effects to improve pitch and make yourself sound halfway decent when you belt out your favs.

It even has a function to record music videos with the iPad 2′s camera.

The Soulo is $69 for a wired mic or $99 for wireless.

Callet Case, Cover and Wallet for iPhone 4 – $19.99

The Callet is just an example of smart thinking. It’s a simple piece of silicone that fits over your iPhone 4 and has slots on the back for your license, credit cards, etc. In the months before app-based payment takes over at every retail store, this looks like a happy medium.

The case is durable and comfortable both to store in your pocket and hold in your hand. It doesn’t obstruct any of the buttons, either.

If you’re looking for an affordable iPhone accessory that they’ll actually use, look here. Comes in pink and black.

Kensington AbsolutePower – $89.99

The Kensington AbsolutePower Laptop, Phone, Tablet Charger is the authority on device charging. Finally, there’s a device with enough juice and enough plugs to charge your laptop and two USB devices (phone, GPS, bluetooth, etc.) AT THE SAME TIME. Plug the AbsolutePower into one outlet, and it does the rest.

The device works with just about all laptops on the market. It has a power plug with a variety of adapters and two built-in USB ports with 2.1 amps of charging power, good enough for tablets and cell phones alike. This is a great dad gift, too.

Ecobee Smart Internet Thermostat – $400 plus installation

This is one of the most expensive items on the list, and it’s not a give-and-go present. The Ecobee Smart Thermostat requires about two hours of professional wiring and installation by an HVAC contractor, so be prepared for a $600 investment between the device and installation. You also need a WIFI network.

That said, this thing is awesome. The Ecobee is the best Internet-enabled home thermostat on the market, and the pros agree. You get a programmable, touchscreen-based thermostat that’s easy to use on the wall. But the reason you buy the Ecobee is that it’s also entirely app-enabled.

Download the free app for your smartphone (or iPad) and you’re good to go. You can access your thermostat from anywhere in the world, including any computer. You can program complex schedules or just turn on your A/C when you’re on the way home from work, so you arrive to a cool house in the afternoon.

The Cdock – $55, $65, $70

The Cdock is a simple as it gets. An iPhone dock, it uses the phone’s display to create a retro-looking clock while charging your iPhone/iPod touch in style. You use whatever clock/alarm app you want, and the Cdock makes it look good on the outside.

It’s a dock-only. No speakers or anything, but the Cdock plugs in via USB or regular electrical outlet to charge your phone.

The reason we’re drawn to the Cdock is simple: style. You can buy it in glossy black, brushed aluminum or natural walnut. This lets you actually match your iPhone dock to your furniture decor, without some black plastic dock standing out in the crowd.

Dragon NaturallySpeaking 11 – $39.99 to $95.99

This is the year of the voice.

With Siri getting things done for iPhone 4S users, this should be the year you finally give your wrists a rest with Dragon NaturallySpeaking. You can have the home edition for under $40 or the premium package for under $100.

Most importantly, the software works. You talk. It types. It’s accurate right out of the box or can be trained with your own style or accent. This makes a great student gift or a present for someone with a small office. Of course, if you’re buying for a doctor or lawyer, they may already have the software, so ask.

AeroPress Coffee Maker — $30

If you have a friend who’s a huge coffee nut, they probably already know about this device, but many still haven’t given it a try yet because they’re hopelessly dependent on a Keurig or even possibly a traditional coffee maker.

But the AeroPress really works. I have it and love it. Special thanks to Useful Things for providing me with one to test out. The video below, by former Maximum PC editor Will Smith, was my first experience seeing the AeroPress in action. Take a look.

Dazzle DVD Recorder HD — $50

For some reason, Avid did not put their brand name on the Dazzle DVD Recorder. That was a dumb move, because Avid is a symbol of video quality. It’s the software used by TV stations to edit news footage.

So for $50, the Dazzle DVD Recorder is a good bet. You can take any video from your old camcorders, new camcorders, digital cameras, smartphones, DVDs, and even your gaming consoles, and put it on your computer, YouTube, etc.

It’s a really poorly named product. It should be called Avid Dazzle HD. It can record DVDs, but that’s not
what your recipient will use it for.

playGo Wireless Media Streamer — $450

This is another one on the expensive list, but if you have someone in your family who loves music and gadgets, the playGo is a great gift.

It works with all computers (PC and Mac) and allows you to send any music or audio wirelessly to anywhere else in your house, including your kickass home theater receiver/surround sound.

The playGo is a way for people to play their home music library on their “good” speakers without needing to put it on an iPod/iPhone and without having to buy a second computer or a home-theater PC. It works great, and sends high-quality, distortion-free sound up to 75 feet away.

Remote Control Helicopter — $40

No matter what, you’re going to end up at T.J. Maxx and/or Marshalls at some point during your gift-buying frenzy.

In doing some research, I found a couple products that I’d be happy with. The first one is their Remote Control Helicopter. It’s a toy. Not much to it. You use the remote; it flies. It’s a great way to break stuff indoors, and I’m sure we could all figure out interesting ways to break IT outside.

More to come in the next few days, right up until Christmas!

Yes, “The Nutcracker” is on at the Boston Opera House, and the Rockettes will be kicking up their heels at the Wang. But don’t worry if sweeping balconies and sky-high ticket prices aren’t quite how you imagined spending your hard-earned shopping funds. Boston offers a wide sparkly spectrum of seasonal shows to choose from this season, from free family-friendly fare to racy renditions of holiday classics.

Christmastime 2011 Reagle Music Theatre

Christmas Time

Reagle Music Theatre

The Robinson Theatre, Waltham

From $25 (student rush available)

December 3 – 11

SEE IF: you’re a fan of the Rockettes, or your parents and grandparents are driving in from western Mass and want to do something fun.

Why dish out for Radio City? Here’s a traditional variety show on a slightly smaller scale with no punches pulled. There’s even a Living Nativity and tap-dancing toy soldiers! The cast of over 40 adults and 150 children, including Broadway actors (and real-life couple) Sarah Pfisterer and Rick Hilsabeck, promise to drum up lots of wholesome family fun.

New Rep Christmas Story

A Christmas Story

New Repertory Theater

Arsenal Center for the Arts, Watertown

From $28
December 11-24

SEE IF: the carols and goodwill are getting to you, and you just want see a kid “shoot his eye out.” The 1983 film didn’t make much of a splash when first released, but now the Red Ryder air rifle, pink bunny pajamas and fishnet-clad leg lamp have become modern holiday symbols. If the thought of zoning out to the TBS marathon (which replays the movie for 24 hours through the 24^th and the 25^th) isn’t thrilling, but still want your yearly dose of 1940’s childhood hijinks, the stage version of “A Christmas Story” will play at the Arsenal Center for the Arts all the way through Christmas Eve. Double dog dare you to check it out.

Slutcracker logo

The Slutcracker: A Burlesque 

Somerville Theatre, Davis Square

December 2-24

$25

SEE IF: you always thought “The Nutcracker” needed more scantily clad dancers and blatant sex jokes. This frequently sold-out burlesque returns to the Somerville Theater this year for the fourth time, bringing all its risqué charm and energy. The dancers jeté, arabesque, shake and shimmy their way through the story of the nutcracker, with more than a few raunchy twists. This production is quickly becoming a Boston institution, and this year’s production continues the sexy, silly tradition in grand fashion. This year, though, they’re not just using “The Nutcracker” as a parody punching bag: the Boston Ballet is offering a 25% discount for “The Slutcracker” audience members. Details here.

GrinchleyChristmasCarol-Poster-Web

Mrs. Grinchley’s Christmas Carol

MACHINE 1254 Boylston Street, Boston

December 3 – 18

From $35

SEE IF: you’re curious to see how the past, present and future of an alcoholic drag queen Grinch will turn out. Certain circles may be shocked that a drag show ripping two holiday traditions—“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and “A Christmas Carol”—performed at one of Boston’s most notorious gay bars could be such a smash. In fact, last year’s run was completely sold out, and there are a few new surprises peppered in this year. Expect many “celebrity” appearances, puppet shows, musical numbers, and a ridiculously merry time.

Improv Boston

What the Dickens?!

ImprovBoston – Central Square

December 15 – 23

From $17

SEE IF: you want to see Charlie Brown’s Scrooge-like tendencies finally get the better of him.

After all Charlie Brown’s trials and tribulations, it’s not particularly surprising that his adulthood is more than a little whacked. This season, ImprovBoston’s “What the Dickens?!” is probably your best bet for low-key holiday-nostalgia laughs. After years of adapting “A Christmas Carol,” ImprovBoston has added “A Charlie Brown Christmas” into the mix, envisioning Charlie Brown as Scrooge, Lucy as Jacob Marley and the red-haired girl as the woman Scrooge loved and lost—not to mention the incredibly satisfying casting of Peppermint Pattie and Marcie as Bob Crachit and his wife, and Tiny Tim as their adopted son. The production is certainly not classified as family-friendly, but might be a happy medium between wholesome caroling and raunchy drag shows.

It’s Christmas morning (or the first night of Hanukah), and I look in my stocking (or beneath my Menorah), and what’s the gift I see from Blast Magazine: a note telling me to assemble a list of the top 25 holiday movies ever made. Was I naughty or nice to get this assignment. Rewind three weeks, and this is the task put before me by Blast.

I found this a more daunting assignment than my previous list of top ten vampire movies. Holiday movies span all film genres and are far more numerous than vampire films. Plus, we’re talking top 25 here—not a measly 10.

So here we go…and for all of you who think A Very Brady Christmas should be on the list, it just missed at number 26.

25. The Hebrew Hammer (2003)

I don’t even know if this was in theaters, but it gained some life on Comedy Central. There aren’t too many movies with an ass-kicking Jewish guy in it, and Eight Crazy Nights was so bad it could never make this list. Here we have a Holiday movie that includes everything (Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa), and though you may think me ‘mishugina’ for including this, The Hebrew Hammer’s tagline alone makes it worthy: “If you’re in trouble…and you’re a Jew…and it’s not past Sundown on Friday…you should call The Hebrew Hammer!”

24. Barabbas (1961)

The first of the Biblical epics on this list that centers, directly or indirectly, around the life and times of Christ. This movie, starring Anthony Quinn, takes place in the days and years following the Crucifixion, as Barabbas, who was set free in place of Christ, struggles with a kind of survivor’s guilt and a very great question: is he a Christian? A spiritual exploration that anyone can appreciate during the Holiday season.

23.  The Polar Express (2004)

Cutting edge animation and the voice of Tom Hanks characterize this children’s film in which a young boy boards a magical train bound for the North Pole. The estimated budget for this movie was a whopping $165 million. I’m not sure if it earned its money back, but this list isn’t about box office; it’s about good Holiday movies. And The Polar Express deserves a place among our top 25.

22. Love Actually (2003)

Interweaving storylines were all the rage a few years back. Crash, Babel, and a few others. Enter to the genre Love Actually, which tells the tale of a number of characters (including the Prime Minister of England) in London during the Christmas season. It’s the kind of movie you can picture Hugh Grant in, and, not surprisingly, Hugh Grant is in this movie: it’s lighthearted, feel good, and the perfect cup of holiday cheer—with the added flavor of being a little different in terms of its approach to storytelling.

21. A Christmas Tale (2008)

Let’s get in our sleigh now and fly across the Channel to go to France for A Christmas Tale. This film received a Palme D’Or nomination at Cannes and stars the great Catherine Deneuve. It’s the story of a dysfunctional family that must coalesce around a cancerous matriarch during Christmas, but it’s not as dour as you might think. The French can do comedy, and this film is a more uplifting, slapsticky version of The Ice Storm.

A wide range of green gifts can be obtained from nonprofit organizations that use the proceeds to fund important work and from green companies, easily found online, that sell recycled, recyclable or otherwise sustainably sourced and produced merchandise. Pictured: Organic Bug's Tree of Life recycled metal folk art. (Media credit/Organic Bug)

The holidays are a great time of year to share your enthusiasm for protecting the environment with family and friends. One meaningful gift—a fashion-forward t-shirt from Rain Tees—can help fight environmental destruction far away while raising awareness here at home. Every Rain Tee is hand-made in the U.S. from eco-friendly fabrics and features original artwork created by children living in countries facing rampant deforestation. For every t-shirt the company sells, proceeds help the cause and Rain Tees’ charity partner, Trees for the Future, will plant a tree in a critically endangered part of the world.

Another way to link your gifting and philanthropic tendencies is to donate to the Paradigm Project to help purchase clean burning stoves for poor families in Africa. Your donation goes toward reducing deforestation and respiratory disease in a developing country, and the Paradigm Project will send you a unique holiday ornament in exchange.

Many other non-profits also provide holiday season incentives to donate to their causes in the name of a friend or loved one. To wit, the NRDC’s Green Gifts website offers dozens of gift opportunities related to various campaigns the organization is conducting around the world. By donating through the Green Gifts program, you and your gift recipient can help defend polar bears, protect clean water, revive rainforests or promote renewable energy, among other options. Similar land and species “adoption” programs that can be leveraged as holiday gifts are available from groups such as the Nature Conservancy, WWF, Defenders of Wildlife and the Whale Museum.

If not spending money is a priority this holiday season, you can make artwork or functional items out of leftover materials otherwise headed for the trash can or recycling bin. Handmade gifts in any form are always appreciated and will likely be cherished for much longer than anything store-bought.

But if making your own presents isn’t your thing, a wide range of green gifts, large and small, can be found online. Some companies that specialize in fairly traded, sustainably sourced gift-worthy items include The Hunger Site Store, Branch, Low Impact Living, BGreen Apparel, A Greener Kitchen, Green Heart and Organic Bug, among many others. And once you’ve completed your green shopping, wrap up your gifts in the festive designs of Earth Presents, which sells 100 percent recycled/recyclable gift wraps. For still more ideas on where to source that perfect green gift, check out the website of the non-profit Green America, which provides links on its website to dozens of firms that sell sustainable wares.

No doubt it feels good to go green over the holidays, given the excess we typically associate with gift-giving. And given the poor state of the economy, it makes sense to give gifts that will last, whether they involve furthering important environmental work or providing items that haven’t caused unnecessary environmental destruction in their manufacture and that won’t break down once the holidays are over.

CONTACTS: Rain Tees, www.raintees.com; Paradigm Project, www.theparadigmproject.org; NRDC Green Gifts, www.nrdcgreengifts.org; Nature Conservancy’s Holiday Giving, support.nature.org/site/PageServer?pagename=holidaygiving_xx_hgg; WWF Gift Center, www.worldwildlife.org/gift-center/; Whale Museum’s Orca Adoption Program, www.whale-museum.org/programs/orcadoption/orcadoption.html; Green America, www.greenamerica.org.

‘Tis the season to rejoice with good company and a stiff drink! When planning a holiday party, creating the cocktail menu can be difficult. An open bar is costly and unoriginal, whereas having just one signature drink lacks diversity to suit your guests’ alcoholic desires.

The most effective solution is to create a small, cost-efficient drink menu with items that everyone can enjoy, whether their preferences are spicy, sweet, or a little bit of both. The menu should contain unique cocktails that will separate your drinks from the boring Irish coffees, eggnogs and spiked ciders of parties past.

Trina Sturm, owner of Trina’s Starlite Lounge in Somerville, Mass., and a front-runner on drinkboston.com’s Best Boston Bartenders list, has a solution to this drink dilemma. Sturm has created a menu of three holiday cocktails with distinct yet related tastes that are sure to please your guests without sticking to the ho-hum classics and throwing creativity out of your tinseled window.

Rum BBC
2 oz. Old Monk rum
1 oz. cinnamon syrup
3 oz. hot water
top with bar spoon of bourbon butter

The Adirondack
2 1/2 oz. butter-infused bourbon
1/2 oz. pure maple syrup

Santa’s Little Stinger
3 oz. candy cane-infused VS Cognac
serve with a mini candy cane

Each of these options toy with the season’s favorite flavors while forming a cohesive holiday-themed drink menu. The Rum BBC is spicy whereas the Adirondack is sweet, but both boast the smooth undertones of buttery bourbon. Santa’s Little Stinger is a happy balance of the Rum BBC and the Adirondack, with the cognac’s spicy peppermint and sweet smooth vanilla flavors complementing its woodiness.

Loud whispering. Knowing Santa. Incorrect ideas about nutrition. These things have made Buddy the Elf a beloved holiday character since comedian Will Ferrell created him in the 2003 movie “Elf.”

Buddy is on Broadway this season in “Elf the Musical” playing at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre with Sebastian Arcelus in the title role. And in the likely event that Buddy the Elf will fans get their way, Buddy — again played by Will Ferrell — will host the 2010 Saturday Night Live Christmas Special.

Betty White ended up as host of Saturday Night Live last year after a Facebook campaign to put her there reached almost half a million members. Now Buddy’s fans have a politely-named Facebook page, “Dear SNL, Please Let Buddy the Elf Host the 2010 SNL Christmas Special.” It has over 135,000 members.

Ferrell was an SNL cast member from 1995 to 2002. But unlike some other characters that SNL alum have portrayed in movies, Buddy the Elf didn’t premier on that show, nor was the “Elf” film made by SNL Studios. This means there might be some copyright agreements to be worked out between New Line Cinema, MSNBC, and their respective corporate octopi. There are no other obvious reasons why Will Ferrell, Lorne Michaels, and every else involved with SNL wouldn’t go for it.

Will Ferrell, as himself, hosted SNL in 2005 and 2009. But Buddy the Elf won’t be the first fictional character to host an SNL episode (if the Christmas Special, a clip show, is considered an episode). That honor probably goes to Pee Wee Herman, played by Paul Reuben, who hosted in 1985.

Image media credit/Christopher Crosby

CANTON, Ohio — Coming home to Ohio for Christmas this year felt like an extended version of the movie “On Golden Pond,” with my stepfather Tom as the crotchety, yet lovable Henry Fonda figure, my mother as the eccentric, yet supportive Katharine Hepburn figure, and me—the forever man-crazy Jane Fonda character who walks around barefoot and in boxer shorts and complains that it’s too cold in the house. OK, well Jane Fonda didn’t do that in the movie, but I do.

It had been almost six months since my parents moved me to Boston for graduate school so I was eager to go home a week for the holidays. Too bad Boston Logan International Airport has a reputation for delayed flights. My 7:30 p.m. scheduled flight on December 22 was delayed until 8:30. That didn’t seem so bad. 8:30 turned into 9:30 and then 10:30. I finally landed in the land of Canton, Ohio — famous for helping to re-elect George W. Bush in 2004, celebrating a museum of bronze football player heads that is the Football Hall of Fame, and drinking the beauty that is PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) beer at 1 a.m. I couldn’t have been happier.

Christmas Eve consisted of my mother and stepfather arguing over how to correctly insert a small circular battery into a plastic mini-candle.

"No, you have to put with the positive side up," my step-dad insists.

Tom, who looks like a hybrid of Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Farina from “Law and Order,” is usually right about these sorts of things. He’s a regular jack-of-all trade’s artist and fix-it man who was a one-time beer can collector and who used to teach Earth Science to high-schoolers until the narcolepsy kicked in.

"I’m telling you, you bent the plastic edge, now it won’t work," he explains to my mother.

"These cheap things are a piece of shit," my mother so elegantly puts it.

My mother Victoria looks to Tom to fix anything that appears out of the ordinary.

"I can’t get this stupid cork screw opener to work!" she says later in the evening.

"You’re going to break it!" she exclaims when Tom manhandles the opener.

"Pretend you’re a waiter at a restaurant. It’s the fancy kind that they use," she instructs him.

Finally, they get the bottle of White Zinfandel open. My mother pours herself a large glass and thrusts the bottle into the refrigerator. I come from a family of wine connoisseurs.

My mother, who’s dressed in a god-awful pink Christmas sweater with sparkly pine trees, insists that we listen to some joyful Christmas music.

"Put on B-A-R-B-R-A!"

When Mike Meyers created the character of Linda Richmond on Saturday Night Live in the early 90′s, I think he was talking about my mother. Granted my mother doesn’t have long finger nails and isn’t Jewish, but she’s still obsessed with Barbra Streisand.

"She can’t do wrong! Listen to that voice."

Don’t argue with her. To my mother, Streisand is ageless, timeless and flawless, which is why she was thrilled when we opened Christmas presents that I got her the Divine B’s new CD.

"I just knew you’d get this for me!" my mother shrieks.

My step-dad is more thrilled that he got a new book of Sudoku to listen to her. When he’s not immersed in his favorite game, Tom can be found in the back room of our basement aka "his studio." Right now, he’s trying his hand on stain-glass windows after taking a class at the local art gallery.

"Hey Nicholas, can you come here a minute?" he calls me later that night.

That can only mean one thing. He needs me to hold something in place. Ever since I was 10 and my mother remarried I’ve been holding up ladders, holding down weights for projects, and holding onto my sanity throughout the process. He’s got another hollow wood sculpture he’s working on in between all the stain glass Christmas window hangings.

"I can’t seem to get the damn glue to stick!" he cries like a defeated Ahab.

But he always defeats his Everests. Then he goes and takes a nap.

It’s always interesting after being home for a long time to notice the various changes around the house. My room is no longer my room. It’s the guest room. But there aren’t just changes. There are improvements. My mother fills me in.

"What do you think of Tom’s new carport he built next to the garage?"

"Did you see our new window shutters for our bedroom?"

"Doesn’t this carpet look like one of Tom’s stained glass windows?"

"Did you notice that I got rid of those awful duck handles that were on all the kitchen cabinet doors?"

"Can you believe that the kid from Best Buy didn’t sell us a memory card for our new digital camera!"

No, Mom. I honestly can’t.

In the summer I’d come home to spend the day at my parent’s on our pontoon boat on the lake. But Meyers Lake aka Golden Pond is frozen over. Even though it’s winter it doesn’t keep my parents from feeding the wildlife.

Despite the fact that we’ve had a case of freezing rain mixed with snow, they both feel it’s their solemn duty to feed the birds, squirrels, and the neighbor’s fat grey outdoor cat.

It’s when the seagulls start circling the house that I start to get worried.

"Do you have to do that?" I ask my mother as she throws a packet of stale bread for Hitchcock’s heathens.

"They like it!" she laughs.

Sure they like it, Tippi Heddren. They also would like to peck out your eyes, I think to myself.

But Christmas Eve didn’t end on a bad note. We all ended up watching “A Christmas Story” on TBS’s marathon run they have every year.

"Look, what I got myself," my mother shows me holding up a large Este Lauder makeup bag.

"I got it for myself for Christmas! Tom doesn’t know," she giggles, "do you think your cousin Emily will like this ugly red bag? I just wanted the lipstick."

"I have no idea," I say as I pet our tabby cat Jewels, who’s sitting on my lap.

"Well, I guess I could keep it. Do you think Macy’s would take it back and give me another case of eye shadow instead? I mean, it’s a perfectly good bag."

"Mom, this isn’t Mexico. You can’t just barter your way up and down the perfume counter," I inform her.

"True. I think I will give it to your cousin Emily."

The next morning I wake up to the sound of snow and rain bleating against my windowpane. Looking out onto Meyers Lake, I realize that even if it’s for a short time, I’m glad to be home.

"What are you doing?" my mother asks me as she comes into my room on Christmas night.

"Writing a story about you and Tom,"

"Oh God!" my mother says rolling her eyes.

God, it’s good to be home.

What is it about the holidays that just makes us want to suck down alcohol like so many candy canes and fatty meals?

Whatever the reasons, there are plenty of fine alternatives to the old brandy-in-egg-nog mixture that I can never seem to think about without throwing up a little in my mouth.

I found some cocktails that not only whet the whistle, but they just give you that warm, fuzzy, holiday feeling. You know, the kind that makes you forget you troubles like that speeding ticket from the Statey who didn’t want to hear your lame ass excuses on the Pike, or the hot blonde with the rack that never called you back last week, even though she seemed totally excited when you bought her a drink down at one of the Faneuil Hall bars and gave you her number before her giggling gaggle of girlfriends dragged her to the next bar.

Drink up, my friends.

If you happen to find yourself down in Dot, don’t miss the Ashmont Grill. Not only is the food great and the service fantastic, but the drinks shouldn’t be missed. The Berkshires Manhattan is a vanilla-infused bourbon mixed with apple cider reduction, Markers Mark, and orange bitters. This one is really different because is mixes the flavors and really hits the pallet. And one for you rummies: The Ashmont Apple Toddy is steamed apple cider, brown sugar, and Captain Morgan.

If you really want to try something wacky, and a little scary at first glance, UNI Sashimi Bar in The Eliot Hotel on Comm. Ave. has a $17 346 Below. Its Hammer & Sickle Vodka straight up with liquid nitrogen. By the way, if you drank liquid nitrogen straight, youd die, so dont try to copy this one at your next party.

For a hint of high class, UNI also has the Monarda: St. Remy Cognac, bergamot syrup, whiskey bitters and a splash of Louis Bouillot Cremant be Bourgogne (a pink sparkler).

If you’re a fan of pumpkin pies and all those great holiday desserts and need a cocktail to pair with them, head north to Za Za in Saugus. The Pumpkin Patch Martini combines vanilla vodka, pumpkin spice liquor, cream de cacao, and pumpkin pie filling and finishes it with a dollop of whipped cream and a candy corn to create a great spiced after dinner drink that’s good with dessert. But lets be real, youre really going to Saugus to scoff down some Sonic burgers. If you class it up at Za Za afterward, we wont tell anyone.

Back on the subject of rum for a minute, I always lumped rum in with tequila as a summer booze. Its in those hilarious buckets of booze you can buy at the supermarket, and you put it in daiquiris. And I do enjoy the occasional Captain and Diet. But I never really thought of rum as something to reach for during the cold weather months. Burtons Grill in Fenway found a way to change my mind. The Burtons Hot Buttered Cider combines Captain Morgan, Stoli Gala Apple, Navan Cognac, apple cider, cinnamon, sugar, and butter and makes something that will warm your stomach. Its $9 and available through December 31. Heres how you can make it yourself:

For one drink, you need:

75 oz Captain Morgan
.25 oz Navan Cognac
.5 oz Stoli Gala Apple
1 oz Monin Cinnamon Simple Syrup
6 oz Hot Apple cider
1 100 scoop of whipped butter (yes, actual butter)
Cinnamon sugar rimmer

In an Irish coffee mug, rim with cinnamon sugar. Combine all ingredients except butter in mug. Stir to mix. Garnish with a scoop of butter.

John M. Guilfoil runs BlastMagazine.com and is a freelance news reporter in Boston. He can be reached at guilfoil.j@blastmagazine.com.

(ARA) — You’ve made your holiday list and checked it twice, but what happens when the salesperson helping you is naughty, not nice? Crowded stores, long lines, low inventory and cranky shoppers rushing to find that perfect holiday gift can often lead to a “perfect storm” of bad service.

That’s why many retailers are ensuring that they have service quality systems in place to avoid the typical holiday mishaps between shoppers and service staff, according to the American Society for Quality, which provides service quality training for many industries, including retail.

“The top four causes of customer dissatisfaction are out of stock items, discontinued items, returns and shipping charges,” says John Goodman, an ASQ customer service expert. “These are issues that are easily resolvable if sales staff have the right tools and training.”

Bigger stories like Bath & Body Works, for example, provide staff with training to handle these kinds of complaints. Its sales staff takes steps such as maintaining eye contact with customers during every step of the sale. They are also trained in how to detect and respond to unspoken needs and are told to “treat a return like a sale” because a properly handled return will often move the customer to buy something else.

Best Buy is ranked highest in customer satisfaction among national and multi-regional major appliance retailers, according to a new report by J.D. Power and Associates. One key reason is that they make customer service training a priority.

In addition to a rigorous certification process, employees are well-educated on complicated products and solutions, enabling them to better help customers, says Mike Fisher, senior director of Lean Six Sigma for Best Buy’s corporate campus in Richfield, Minn..

The store’s TRUST model ensures that employees thank consumers for coming into the store, respect their opinions, understand their needs, solve challenges together and thank and support the ongoing consumer relationship.

“Our goal is to put more sales staff or ‘blue shirts’ on the sales floor instead of handling paper work and other duties,” Fisher said. “That way they are immediately available to assist consumers with their questions and needs.”

While many retailers will make an extra effort to ensure excellent customer service this holiday season, Goodman suggests that customers take these steps to help ensure a positive sales experience:

• Get to know the sales clerks at your favorite stores. This ensures that you will be in the loop regarding stores sales and events. A salesperson who knows you may also be more apt to help if a problem does arise.
• Research store policies before you buy. Being aware of policies regarding cash refunds or sale merchandise returns can help you avoid problems later on.

So what happens when you run into a problem? Goodman offers these tips for successfully handling service complaints.

• Take three deep breaths — when you are upset you may not think clearly and therefore often don’t present your case logically.
• Tell the company rep that you know that the problem is not their fault – this reduces their defensiveness.
• After outlining the facts, state exactly what you want the rep to do for you – if you don’t they might go off in the wrong direction in developing a response.
• Don’t ask for cash compensation for your time — companies can almost never do that, but they can give you credit toward your bill.
• Never use profanity — most reps are authorized to hang up on you if you do.
• If you have been a long-term customer, point that out but don’t exaggerate — employees can often access your actual purchase history.

The simplest and most important thing you can do is to recognize good service when you receive it by remembering to say thank you.

Courtesy of ARA Content

(ARA) — New Year’s resolution time is here. Many of us focus on the new diet or exercise regimen that we promise ourselves we’ll stick to … until the first business trip or unexpected family crisis throws our routine out the window. This year, instead of trying to fulfill an unrealistic New Years declaration, resolve to refresh your active lifestyle on your terms, doing activities that are fun and fit into your already busy schedule.

Lack of time is the biggest challenge to achieving fitness goals, according to a recent poll by IDEA, the world’s leading organization of health and fitness professionals. The organization recently polled more than 1,500 of its members to identify the top challenges that keep us from sticking to our fitness resolutions, as well as what is on the fitness horizon for 2008. More than 60 percent of those polled cited a lack of time.

“Exercise is fun when you find a fitness routine that you enjoy and fits into your lifestyle,” says Jake Steinfeld of CEO Body by Jake and Founder of ExerciseTV. “Burning calories, feeling great and looking great on your terms — now that sounds like a plan!”

Consider one of the following to refresh your active lifestyle in 2008; who knows, you just might have fun in the process:

Downward Dog — Relieve stress and burn some calories through yoga or Pilates. Classes are usually smaller than group fitness classes and are a great option for people looking to ease back into a wellness routine. According to the survey, fitness experts predict these activities will see the most growth in 2008. Calories burned in yoga or Pilates exercises: 230-250 calories per hour.

Drop and Give Me 20! — Already a popular group activity, fitness boot camps are expected to continue to grow in popularity. These classes offer nontraditional, in-your-face fitness instruction, hold participants accountable for proper nutrition and deliver noticeable results in as little as 30 days. If you enjoy being outdoors, this could be just the activity for you. Calories burned: 300 per hour or more.

Bring Sexy Back — Dance continues its resurgence as a way to burn some calories in 2008. Fitness professionals surveyed are talking about Zumba, a fusion of Latin and international music combined with unique moves that is based on the principle that a workout should be fun and easy. If you’re looking to unleash the exotic "diva" in you, consider signing up for a fitness pole dancing class. These classes not only get you in shape, but also are known to be great self-esteem boosters. Calories burned: 280-400 per hour, depending upon your "boogie level."

Get Personal — While it’s definitely an obvious recommendation (82 percent of the fitness professionals surveyed recommended), engaging a personal trainer might be worth another look. Personal training provides a one-on-one, customized experience tailored to your individual fitness abilities and goals in a manner that is convenient for you. So, if you hate to use weights, a trainer can develop a program using resistance bands to achieve the same goals. Smaller, more personal facilities are springing up around the U.S., and many personal trainers are willing to come to you — whether at work over the lunch hour, to your home on weekends or to the local neighborhood park. Calories burned: varies with exercise.

More, More More — There are many ways to burn a few extra calories staring us in the face everyday, all that’s needed is to take advantage of the opportunities. Some of the most popular activities to stay active away from the gym that are recommended by fitness professionals to their clients include:

• Taking the stairs — Resolve to walk up three flights or less instead of taking the elevator. Calories burned: 10 per flight.
• Walking at lunch — Commit to a quick 20-minute power walk three days a week. Calories burned: 80 calories per walk.
• Playing with your kids — A quick game of tag can elevate the heart rate and just may sharpen your reflexes. Calories burned: 115 per hour.
• Gardening — Putting a bit more "elbow grease" into pulling weeds and planting flowers may have extra benefits in the long run. Calories burned: 230 per hour.

So take some simple, positive steps toward a health lifestyle, like eating right and pursuing fun exercise. Remember, weight loss requires a reduced calories diet and regular exercise. Make a New Year’s commitment to a fitter you.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

With current tech trends, your inbox may be full of them right now. E-cards, carrying messages of “Happy Holidays,” “Happy Birthday,” “I’m Sorry,” and various stages of romance flood e-mail accounts with cute, fuzzy, make-your-insides-warm images and songs. And, truth be told, they’re usually deleted after the minute it takes to watch them.

I’m guilty of it just the same.

“Mainstream (e)-cards tend to be sappy and maudlin. In a word, they suck,” said Nancy Gomez, who decided to try to change all that by starting Rattlebox.com. It’s a new e-card website that prides itself on a new kind of card. “They have attitude,” says Gomez.

Rattlebox e-cards try to keep from “sucking” by using footage from over 40,000 hours of popular television show. The site is also open to visitor-submitted videos, and users can make money by submitting popular videos for others to use.

What I found most appealing about Rattlebox is the amount of power a user has over the card they send. A unique feature of the video content is the fact that the clips are totally customizable.

In the majority of E-cards on the internet, the greeting and/or closing is the only thing that a sender gets to customize. However, this restriction does not affect the Rattlebox cards. Every message is presented with a default script, but every line in the card can be changed, giving senders the opportunity to customize the card specifically for any recipient.

It’s almost as if you’re the producer of each card you choose to send. “We’re very excited about this unique feature, since it gives people the opportunity to really interact with the media, personalize it in a whole new way, and communicate and connect,” Gomez said.

This amount of editing power users have, plus the opportunity to submit their own material for cards, is what founders hope will attract visitors to the site. “People are drawn to social networking sites (like MySpace and Facebook) because they want to express themselves on their own terms. Rattlebox lets them do that,” Gomez points out.

Rattlebox continues with this approach with the option for users to send their cards through Instant Message or post them in blogs and networking sites for their own visitors to see.

Like other e-card sites, Rattlebox offers cards for a wide selection of occasions, such as birthdays and holidays. Although, unlike the majority of competitive sites, Rattlebox offers cards that they sort into categories like “Insults” and “Provocative”. Quite a few of these cards are preempted with a cautionary message, warning that the following videos are “probably (most likely) offensive. If you are easily offended, you should go. We understand.” Try finding a message like that on a Hallmark e-card.

So the next time you want to send someone an e-card that’s not going to get deleted- say a nice “Happy New Year” card- check out Rattlebox.com. You may actually get a thank you card in return this time.

Come celebrate 2008 in style at The Beehive’s first annual New Years Eve celebration. The Beehive is offering an extravagant night of bohemian decadence and eccentric fun. Spend your New Year’s Eve exploring your senses as you take in the wonder of a Parisian Burlesque show and dance the night away to the live Latin sounds of Grupo Fantasia, a seven piece Salsa band.

Executive Chef Rebecca Newell will feature passed plates of gypsy fare and desserts (including chocolate fountains and a cotton candy machine) throughout the evening with influences from Europe, the Mediterranean and good ol’ Americana, all served in a cocktail setting. Continue your celebration and toast the evening with The Beehive’s list of over 25 Champagnes!

The event Begins at: 9:30 p.m. and runs until 2:30 a.m. Cost is $95.00 per person plus cash bar. Tickets/Reservations are available by calling the Beehive at 617.423.0069.

Quick hits:

Where: The Beehive, 541 Tremont Street, Boston, MA 02116

When: Monday, December 31, 9 p.m. — 2:30 a.m.

Cost: $95.00 Reservations/Ticketing Available by logging on to: beehiveboston.com

About:

The Beehive or "La Ruche" — was an early 20th-century artists’ colony in Paris where the likes of Matisse and Chagall worked and made merry. Today The Beehive is an underground Bohemian bistro featuring amazing cuisine, libations, artwork and live music nightly. Nestled below the Boston Center for the Art’s historic Cyclorama in Boston’s South End, The Beehive serves the eclectic fare of Chef Rebecca Newell, rustic comfort foods infused with American, European, Mediterranean, and Middle Eastern influences. Open for dinner 5:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. seven days a week, and with cocktails and live entertainment available nightly until 2:00 am.

Look at me I’m an elf!

Seems like an untrue statement for a woman who’s 5’10″ until you visit elfyourself.com and start the elfmorphosis.

By uploading up to four photos, you can create a whole group of elves for your dancing pleasure. It is easy to upload photos with tools there to resize and rotate and allow you to get your face right in there. The fun part comes when it’s time to upload a message. Call a toll free number and following the instructions!

All that’s left to do is give the dance instruction. After you press play your elf self begins a rock concert dance to Jingle Bells with your message playing throughout in your elf’ed voice. This is a hilarious holiday treat!

The Favorites

The Pogues “Fairytale of New York”
Christmas Eve in a New York City drunk tank, a down on their luck dueting Irish couple (Pogues singer Shane McGowan and Kirsty McColl) trade insults and heartbreak before the holiday magic sets in. My all-time favorite.

The Kinks “Father Christmas”
Blending economic reality with dreams of beating up a department store Santa, the Kinks rock their way to second on the list.

KC101 “Christmas in East Haven”
DJ’s from radio station KC101 (WKCI 101.3) sing about a place very near and dear to me: East Haven, CT. This song became a local favorite when it came out years ago and is still pretty accurate. For those of you who have not been to East Haven—visit. The town was also the setting for the opening of Oceans’s 12.

“Oi to the World”
Written and originally performed by the Vandals, I prefer No Doubt’s version of this song about a gang war on Christmas. “If God came down on Christmas Day, I know exactly what he’d say / He’d say Oi to the punks! Oi to the skins! Check out this awesome song and everybody wins!”

The Darkness “Christmas Time”
This song rocks so much you’d wish it was Christmas every day just so you can play it.

Run-DMC “Christmas in Hollis”
Like DMC with the mic in his hands, with this song you’ll be chillin’ and coolin’ like a snow man.

The Ramones “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)”
This song was actually recorded by some of the lesser-known members of the Queens punk band: Rudolph Ramone, Donner Ramone, Dixon Ramone and Dancer Ramone. The original title was the “Blitzen Bop.”

Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Songs
There are a lot of famous Jews; more than enough for a fourth installment. Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David haven’t been honored yet.

Blink 182 “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas”
Who hasn’t lashed out on a bunch of Christmas carolers? I haven’t because I’ve never seen or heard of Christmas carolers going door to door singing outside of movies and TV. I feel that’s another Hollywood myth like families passing down wedding rings.

Billy Mack “Christmas is All Around”
This is the song in Love Actually. I saw it and thought it was very good. Even better when you think of all the washed-up real-life rock stars who should resurrect their careers with a Christmas record that is really a remake of an earlier hit. I don’t know about you, but I’d be ecstatic for a “Winter of ’69.”

Mr. Garrison “Merry Fucking Christmas”
The title says it all.

Dr. Elmo “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
A classic. I agree: they should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves. Seriously, have you ever been stuck behind a sleigh on the road? Not cool.

John Lennon “So This is Christmas”
Someone answer me this: how many John Lennon songs involve children singing in the background? It has to be a greater proportion than any other musician, greater than the ratio of jokes about kids to songs by Michael Jackson and R. Kelly.

“Blue Christmas”
I actually might have to go with Bright Eyes’ remake of this Elvis tune. Blasphemous I know, but who’s more believable in having a blue Christmas.

“Jingle Bell Rock”
Originally done by Bobby Helms in 1957, this song has been covered by everyone, including Hall and Oates, Billy Idol, Hilary Duff, Randy Travis, Brian Setzer and Arcade Fire. I can only hope Andrew W.K. takes up the cause.

“Christmas Wrapping”
The Waitresses did the original but Save Ferris remade it with Monique singing about being a Jew on Christmas in LA and even asking why Adam Sandler didn’t give her a shout-out.

Eazy-E “Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas”
Yes, this is a real song. Christmas in Compton.

Anything by Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio
From “I Am Santa Claus” (“Iron Man”) to “Police Stop My Car” (“Feliz Navidad”), Bob Rivers is the king of Christmas parody. Here’s an idea: “Santa’s Little Helper” to the Stones’ “Mother’s Little Helper.”

Artists that Should Record Christmas Songs

Buckcherry
It might actually be a good thing Buckcherry doesn’t have a Christmas song yet. If they did, its inevitable awesomeness would generate so much holiday spirit that the entire Pacific Northwest would be leveled to fill the need for Christmas trees it would produce.

Mandy Moore
This is mainly so Mandy could make a video in which she dresses in a Santa hat and suit. I think it should also include a hot tub. Baby, it’s cold outside.

Rage Against the Machine
With all the commercialism and injustice on Christmas, how has Rage not written a song about it?

Afroman
I’m sure he’d be able to write something about hos, Christmas “trees” and unwrapping some Colt .45. He probably even started, but then got high.

Bruce Springsteen
Bruce’s Christmas song would give the entire history of Christmas and before performing it at a sold-out arena, he would tell the entire story behind the song and what he was doing while he wrote it. Scrooge would be a character that really represents the government and the record would sell 20 million copies.

I Didn’t Forget These Songs, They Just Suck

Paul McCartney “Wonderful Christmas Time”
Sucks might be too strong a word. Annoying is too weak.

Dave Matthews “Christmas Song”
Too boring.

Late addition: “The Night Santa Went Crazy” by Weird Al

It’s by Weird Al and based on “Black Gold” by Soul Asylum. Far from Miracle on 34th Street, this ballad about a “yuletide Rambo” is not only holiday gold, but possibly one of Weird Al’s best songs and that’s saying a lot. Come on, it includes ‘reindeer sausage.’ Speaking of Rambo, has anyone else seen previews for a new Rambo movie? Please tell me I’m not imagining things.

Here are some tips from Americans for Fairness in Lending on credit during the holiday season.

“With holiday gift-buying in full swing, college students are at even greater risk than usual of falling into traps set by credit card companies using predatory lending practices,” said Jim Campen, Executive Director. “Americans for Fairness in Lending is getting out a holiday season tip sheet for these students, already a favorite target for marketers of credit cards. We are also circulating a fact sheet on college students and credit cards.”

1. Don’t get tricked, trapped or suckered into a card with bad terms. If you want a credit card, get one with a long-term low interest rate (APR). If you get a low introductory rate, chances are it’ll start at 0% and then jump to 20% with one almost-on-time-but-didn’t-quite-make-it payment. Still want a credit card? Just know what you’re in for…
2. Once you choose a card, don’t let your guard down. Credit card companies are notorious for changing rules and playing GOTCHA. Look through those mailings they send…they may include a nasty change in terms.
3. Pay your bill on time. Better yet, pay it several days ahead of time. If the due date is on a Sunday and your payment (duh) arrives on Monday — you’re late! Don’t laugh, this is REALLY common. And when you’re late — see (1) above, your interest rate jacks up.
4. your bill in full. Whenever possible. And as quickly as you can.
5. Do not go over your credit limit. And set the credit limit as low as possible. Don’t be fooled — credit card companies LOVE to give you a credit limit you can’t afford.
6. Stay as far away from a credit card ‘cash advance’ as you can. The interest rate on cash advances is MUCH higher and credit card companies apply any payment you make to whatever else you owe first. That cash advance hangs around unpaid and with increasing interest until you DO pay your bill in full. Did we already mention that they’re looking to get you?
7. Ignore those in-store "15% off today if you sign up for our credit card" offers. You’ll pay back what you saved and then some REAL fast.
8. Carry only one card. Less confusion. How many companies do you want abusing you at once?
9. If you do get into credit card debt, get help right away. Don’t wait until it gets worse. Try the Consumer Action Help Desk at http://www.consumer-action.org/helpdesk/.
10. Remember your other option: CASH

Also, college students and recent grads, feel free to download this PDF from AFFIL.