Varys (Conleth Hill) and Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) plan for the impending siege of King's Landing.

I recognize that the following critique may seem hypocritical, considering I gave such high praise to last week’s “downtime.” But as much as the cunning and contemplation continues to enchant me, a consecutive week of the proverbial “calm before the storm” antics just didn’t cut it. The writers are stalling. Granted, it’s some of the most charismatic and enthralling diversion you will find on TV today, but when epic battles lurk in the shadows, my lust for blood grows.

Stannis is on the high seas about to thrash King’s Landing. Tywin hurries out of Winterfell’s gates to ride for Robb Stark’s camp. And Roose Bolton’s bastard Ramsay Snow, boldly approaches the Theon-occupied Winterfell. Last week had me licking my chops, awaiting the fall of these dominos. This week, I moaned and groaned as Daenerys dawdled outside the House of the Undying. Huge, seismic shifts in power and influence are dangling in front of us, it’s hard not to get stir crazy. To the show’s credit, “Prince of Winterfell” wasn’t just a cheap opening act, a place-filler. While some plots advanced at a snail’s pace (I’m looking at you Jon Snow and Daenerys), some story lines had startling shakeups—Cersei’s cruelty toward Tyrion and Robb’s romantic dalliance among them.

Part of my impatience might also come from the tonal shift. Ominous warnings of an otherworldly dark force descending upon Westeros to unleash chaos never came to fruition. My intuition insists it will, but when one’s hopes are launched into the sky, it’s hard to fall softly down to earth for an relaxed endeavor into stories and c-words. And that’s really what this episode came down to. Chiefly our new arrivals, sat back and told us their sob stories, and some familiar faces dropped c-bombs in frustration concerning the deception and ruthlessness that surrounds them. I’m not one to be squeamish about vulgarities, but it was odd to hear three different characters curse their loved ones and the gods above for being stupid and vicious Cs.

At any rate, while any time spent in this world with these tragic pawns on the “Game of Thrones” chessboard is splendid, I felt the foot easing off the gas when last week suggested that steel and sorcery alike would strike down the weak-hearted and the feeble-minded. There’s still that gloomy fog threatening, but the quiet hum of the thick air almost lulled me into a peaceful slumber before the booming drums of war.

Winterfell

C-word #1 is Theon Greyjoy, a dumb C according to his sister, Yara. She arrives at the Northern capital he conquered and berates him for his slew of decisions. First, Winterfell is too far from the sea. They are an island people, what purpose would land 100 miles in have for them? Also, now that she presumes he’s charred up the princes of Winterfell, he’s the most wanted man in the North. She mocks him and calls him out as a petulant child, branding him as weak and stupid. When he tries to “warn her,” she doesn’t flinch. She has many brutish Iron Islanders who would gladly dispense of the twerp if need be.

Yara takes some pity on him though when she dismisses her soldiers and speaks freely, not putting on assertive airs for the troops. She implores Theon to come home or he will die alone when the Northern bannermen come for vengeance. But stubborn and prideful as he is, he wants to stay and stake his claim as the new lord of Winterfell. He did a sloppy job acquiring the land, clinging to excess and showmanship instead of taking what he needed and commanding respect. His sister leaves him with a touching anecdote about how he was a terrible baby, bawling all the time. But one night when his screams made her want to strangle him, she stood over his crib and he looked up, and stopped. The metaphor is a delicate one, and I believe received it. When you were small, you respected me and knew I was looking out for you. You didn’t make a fuss, you listened. Do the same now. Know that I want you safe, that’s the only reason I’m standing over you. This is an instance where the sharing of stories between characters illuminated the situation. We learn more about the dynamic of the Greyjoy family, and his internal conflict is further elucidated.

Just as this location kicks off the proceedings, it wraps them. As Maester Luwin wanders the grounds, overhearing Theon and his first mate discuss paying the farmer for his “troubles,” he witnesses Osha smuggling food. He follows her into the underground crypts. They discuss never telling Bran about how Theon killed the farmer’s two boys to make the townspeople believe he’d been brutally murdered. Cut to an awake Bran absorbing the whole conversation, likely torn up about how his royalty has endangered others. This is supposed to be a big reveal no doubt, one the episode hinges on, BUT I was sure those were the farmer’s kids from the jump. Therefore while it’s a somber scene, it’s not one that made my heart leap to see Bran alive. Truthfully, Bran’s survival solves nothing. Youthful lives were still erased in the name of intimidation. Theon is still a sociopath who willingly had children burned alive to send a message. He’s a miserable leader, but he’s succeeded in proving he’s not beyond atrocity. And while I’m thrilled as a viewer to see Bran safe, I can’t help but mourn for the less fortunate, the non-Princes who were deemed a necessary expense for the security of the noble born. Doesn’t seem fair.

Beyond the Wall

One of the stagnancy victims this week is Jon Snow and his Night’s Watch brothers. As we know, he’s captured. Ygritte throws him before the feet of the Lord of Bones, who looked like the lovechild of an eskimo and a Juggalo. He wants to “chop his balls off,” since he already has a “crow” prisoner—I guess “crow” is a derogatory term for men of the Black? Ygritte has his life spared though by revealing that he is the son of Ned Stark and that Mance Rayder, King beyond the Wall, might be interested in speaking with him. Even in death, Ned Stark’s name has meaning.

Jon Snow is guilt-ridden to learn that the other men on their expedition were killed all because of his carelessness in not decapitating the gorgeous Ygritte. Halfhand tries to dispel that fault, but he does acknowledge he has a debt to pay, and that if he were to infiltrate the wildlings, that would be worth it. So as they trek along a mountain ledge he fakes an argument and pushes him off. The rest walk ahead and Ygritte falls behind to assist him. Is Halfhand suggesting that by getting in the girl’s pants he can attain vital intelligence? That sort of espionage doesn’t seem like Jon Snow’s forte, but I’m also shaky on what Halfhand’s plan after so little time beyond the wall.

We do get a brief scene, however, back at the main camp where Sam Tarly is digging a latrine pit. While shoveling, his pal (I believe named Grenn?) stumbles upon some markings that Sam suspects were made by The First Men. Underneath the markings, an assortment of ancient obsidian daggers is stowed away. Sam refers to as “dragonglass.” Intriguing, but I’m clueless since that’s the extent of our drop-in. It seems that because the writers wish to spread out all developments until the finale, so we only get this teaser. I’d rather do as they did earlier in the season, neglect a few locations an episode, and then come back there in a week or two. I won’t forget Jon Snow exists for a week, I swear.

Robb Stark’s camp

While not much happens in this episode, progress is made on a couple of loose ends. As Robb and Talisa stroll to whatever or wherever The Crag is, Robb mythologizes his father with a couple exceptional quotes: “He said being a Lord is like being a father, except you have thousands of children to worry about” and “He woke up with fear in the morning and fell asleep with fear in the night. I asked him, ‘How can a man be brave if he’s afraid?’ That is the only time a man can be brave, he told me.” Ah, Ned. You were an extraordinary human being. Too good for this here game.

Suddenly, a messenger gallops toward them with the news that Jamie Lannister has escaped again. But this time, he was let out. It’s a heartbreaking scene when Robb learns it was his mother, Catelyn Stark who released him. She sent him off with Brienne to trade for her daughters’ lives. Robb knows this is foolish to expect a fair trade, and that with Jamie in custody they had the upper hand. He has her locked up so that there isn’t more dissension among his bannermen who wanted Jamie executed for his crimes.

Then we get a cut to possibly the greatest idea for a GoT spinoff besides the Arya Stark and Tywin Lannister talk show. Brienne and Jamie, on the road to King’s Landing. The comedy gods have smiled upon us. Brienne, is stoic and loyal and steadfast. Jamie is manipulative, selfish, and loudmouthed. But both are respected warriors. Jamie tries to goad Brienne with taunts that she is as boring as she is ugly, and he questions whether she could hold her own if she undid his chains. While Brienne is fierce, as a swordsman Jamie is among the best in Westeros. Brienne is not stupid. She tunes him out, throws him in a canoe and paddles out. This duo could provide multiple possibilities for tension in the remaining two episodes.

Another instance of stories as distractions from the impending war is provided courtesy of by the bombshell nurse, Talisa. But with her ethical fortitude and killer bod, she may have endangered the North. She tells Robb the story of how her brother drowned on her watch, on a hot day in Volantis. She had thought he was gone when a slave with a fish tattoo on his face (to distinguish him as a lower class member) pushed her aside—a crime worthy of death since she is a highborn girl—and performed CPR, reviving the young boy. This event made her realize two things. One, she wouldn’t waste her life planning masquerades like a typical lady. Two, she wouldn’t live in a slave city ever again. As mentioned this exhibited why Robb has been so drawn to her.

Her conceptions of justice and righteousness may sometimes rival his own, but her convictions are strong. And that turns him on. He blurts out that his doesn’t want to marry the Frey girl, the one he is betrothed to. Robb then rips her clothes off and they to the floor with her aggressively mounting him, geared up for a rigorous love-making session. This is a complication to say the least. A commander with his mind on a woman, one whom he cannot marry, is asking for trouble. Maybe the idea that much of this episode felt like a distraction from doom ahead is actually a commentary on the characters themselves. Robb doesn’t want to face battle anymore. He confides in Talisa that he wants to go home. Maybe, the writers aren’t wading in the shallow end, maybe it’s the warriors of Westeros who aren’t ready to take the plunge into bloodshed yet.

King’s Landing

Since Cersei and certainly Joffrey seem inept, the preparations for Stannis’ siege are left to Tyrion, Bronn and Varys. Bronn has rounded up all the known thieves, which appalls Tyrion, but Bronn cleverly persuades him that they are the greatest enemies in times of siege, where those who aren’t fighting are starving as thieves scrounge up all the food for themselves so they come out rich when the warring’s over. Tyrion the searches his books some more for a solution to their lack of strategy.

Then we get our obligatory face-off at the dinner table between Cersei and Tyrion. She corners Tyrion about Joffrey’s insistence that he will suit up, and Tyrion says he approves. Men will fight valiantly with their king beside them. But Cersei’s aware that Tyrion would love for the runt to be killed as a result. She insults him saying, “You know why Varys is so dangerous? Because he doesn’t have a cock. That little worm between your legs does half your thinking.” When Tyrion makes the smart remark that it’s not that little, Cersei smiles deviously (and man does Lena Headey do that so well). She proclaims that she has his whore. He tries to act unaffected, joking that he thought she preferred blondes (only in the family) and that whores are just for rent, but Cersei knows that he cares for this whore, maybe even loves her. She threatens that if Joffrey is hurt, she will suffer every wound he does. “And if he dies, there isn’t a man alive who can devise a more painful death for your little…” and there goes C-word #2!

Tyrion asks to see her, and thankfully it is Ros that is whisked out, not Shae. Tyrion doesn’t allow much relief on his face, and he even promises to free Ros. Then he turns to his sister and declares his own war. “I will hurt you for this. The day will come when you think you are happy, and your joy turns to ash in your mouth.” If this episode has one saving grace, it’s that the dialogue kicked serious ass. Tyrion then runs to his quarters to make sure Shae’s still there. When he sees her at the balcony his “You’re beautiful,” is genuine. He vows he would kill for her and has her promise she is his. She consents and we see that Tyrion, who we thought was the baddest mofo in Westeros, is just as vulnerable as Robb. As Arya would say, any man can be killed. And love will likely be his assassin.

Tyrion and Varys then spend another calm reflection scene looking out over the city. Joffrey appears to arrogantly dismiss Stannis by implying he’ll give the unsmiling man a red smile, slicing him from ear to ear. Tyrion is not impressed. Varys then compliments Tyrion by saying that he is a great Hand to the King. He adds that while Jon Arryn and Ned Stark despised the game, Tyrion enjoys it. Tyrion wholeheartedly agrees, and he wants to keep playing. This open talk among the characters about their lives being a game with rules fixed to struggle and ambition reminds me a lot of “The Wire.” Then he jokes that all they gods are “vicious…” c-word #3! He asks, where’s the god of tits and wine? Varys informs him that the Summer Isles worships a fertility god and Tyrions playfully commands they sail there immediately. Tyrion just wants to enjoy life, and live it to the fullest. But to love women and sip sweet nectars you must pay a hefty toll.

Harrenhal

Tywin looks to catch Robb off guard and marches for his last known settlement. Arya wants to kill Tywin to save her brother and searches for Jaqen, who owes her one more death. Unable to find him before Tywin rides off, she asks him hours later if he can still kill him. He says he cannot, and asks for another name. She goes cutthroat rogue (the Arya I love) and says his own name. He begs her to say another and she says she will if he helps her, Gendry, and some fat kid named Hot Pie (no joke) escape. He abides, by telling them to simply walk through the gates at a certain time and the path will be clear. Lo and behold, the guards are all brutally slain and Arya and the gang just mosey on through.

On the High Seas

In this inexact location we visit Stannis as he nears King’s Landing. He shoots the breeze with Davos who explains that he’s not ashamed of his history of an onion trader and a crabber’s son. Then Stannis describes how they met, a gruesome situation where his brother Robert had him hold Storm’s End, and he and his men nearly starved before Davos’ ship snuck through with sustenance that Stannis then promptly pilfered. He’s still disgruntled over Robert giving Storm’s End to a young Renly and feels his services were taken for granted. But this is his time. He’s got a hell of a fleet, the Lord of the Light in his corner, and a tattered opposition. He assures Davos the position of Hand to the King is his once he seizes the throne, which seems all but a formality at this point.

Qarth

Nothing really happens here. Honestly. Jorah says it is too dangerous to stay and rescue Daenery’s dragons when he has a ship now that can take them across the Narrow Sea. But she resists, saying they are her children, and she strokes Jorah’s cheek retelling the tale of the night she walked out of the fire. The lovestruck man submits and says he would die for her. Could you imagine if she spread her legs for him? He’s be a mess! So, there you have it. After a pointless argument, Daenerys has Jorah’s support to enter the House of the Undying, but we don’t see it nor venture in there yet.

This feeling of disappointment was palpable for the first time this season. The ending revelation was not one for most, and several strands were left undone, leaving room for an epic penultimate next week. And while looking forward and creating anticipation is admirable, any sign of a letdown does not result in a net gain. While I still fully support a show with characters this vibrant, and with dialogue this electric, swapping stories is not the substance this show is built on. This show is about living legends, about unraveling myths firsthand. I’m ready for a clash of kings to occur soon, as much as I revel in a war of words. A lower grade for “The Prince of Winterfell” does not mean marked decline  (like the one Bronn incited in crime at the capital). It means we’re a wandering horde of warriors, awaiting our fate on the battlefield, and instead we watched our fearless leader drag his feet and say, “Did I ever tell you about the time…?”

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

"A Man Without Honor," Jamie Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) uses his charm to savagely escape Robb Stark.

One of the major strengths of “Game of Thrones” in its first season that has carried over to this season has been its unpredictability. (SPOILERS FROM PRIOR EPISODES) The arguable main character was decapitated last season, a man was killed via a molten gold crown, and this season a woman birthed a shadow baby that assassinated its uncle. Needless to say, there are no rules in Westeros, save Arya’s decree: any man can be killed.

And while those moments of shock and awe are compelling as hell, even the outbreak of a world war has its downtime. Before the crucial battles commence, there’s a lot of nitty-gritty details that need to be ironed out. And while that reeks of tediousness for even the most impassioned viewer, tonight was a night where cruelty was at nearly everyone’s doorstep. If there is a God in the GoT universe, his will has descended upon them. The sins of these power seekers will be repaid. Whether these sins are stripping land from its rightful owners, having incestuous relations, or perhaps just messing with the wrong warlock, enemies are lurking in the shadows ready to right those wrongs by correcting the imbalance they created.

The story lover and the storyteller in me says that the reason why this episode felt so rich and gripping was because it told the far more intriguing tale. Everyone remembers the destruction that men inflict upon each other and themselves, but the fascinating events that precede them are so alive with probability. Why do bad things happen? Is it a matter of blame, of accident, of greed, of naivete? The ominous future is always ahead of them, and those who fear it are plenty. But those who seem prepared for its reckoning, who have committed themselves to understanding chaos (a paradox, but bear with me) may be the most fit to survive. Dark days breed dark nights, as well as dark knights. Batman, anyone? The question becomes, can anyone keep their soul intact while they do what’s necessary? Even the villains seem pitifully inept at keeping their heads about them, feeling insecure in their sacrifices and atrocities. And the morally incorruptible are realizing that if if extenuating circumstances do exist, these might be them.

Winterfell

Bookending this epic installment of ruined plans, we begin in the North where Theon, the world’s sloppiest conqueror, beats the living sh*t out of the guard responsible for allowing Bran and Rickon to escape. We check in on the lads and Osha and huggable Hodor to see they’re spritely, just a bit starving. Maester Luwin is horrified because Theon’s deperation to be taken seriously may lead to Joffrey-esque behavior. He employs a scorched-earth policy to apprehending the boys and he looks a bit batty when he smiles eerily at the Maester and says, “Don’t look so grim…It’s all just a game.” Beside being perhaps a little obvious for a show called “Game of Thrones,” it’s sufficiently creepy to see a boy who wanted to belong transform into an off-his-rocker and incompetent tyrant.

In the end, Theon returns to unveil two charred corpses. Though our instinct is to worry that Bran and Rickon are those unrecognizable bodies, TV tropes tell us that unidentifiable dead are rarely who we think they are. All indications are that the crispy boys are the sons of the farmer that the hounds followed the scent to, the one Theon kicks like the coward he is. While it is entirely possible that Bran and Rickon were offed, and while I gasped like I’d lost a friend, my better judgement tells me there’s nothing to fear. Well, except that Theon has moved over to the dark side. Whoops.

Beyond the Wall

In the barren cold, Ygritte remains the sassy and alluring wildling I loved last week. Her ribbing of Jon Snow is so riveting and I like him a lot. She comments when they wake that his knife is poking her backside and when he leaps up in embarrassment she guesses correctly that he’s never been with a woman before. She teases some more with a variation of “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” but then the conversation gets real. Ygritte stops with the insects and asks seriously why he would choose to never get naked with a woman so that he could invade someone’s land. Snow goes on the defensive saying that the Starks were among the first men and share blood with wildlings. Then Ygrite wonders aloud why he would want to fight them. While Jon Snow is honor personified, and his sacrifice is admirable, he does carry an air of self-righteousness that I could see would frustrate a “savage.”

This perspective echoed for me the true story of how the Europeans occupied Native-American lands on the principle that they were more advanced and it was God’s will. This mirrors when Ygritte rants about how wildlings may not have stone castles or be so skilled at making steel, but that does not make those like Jon on the other side of The Wall better. Truthfully, the wildlings are more free. If someone told Ygritte she couldn’t lie with a man she’d shove a spear up his ass. Brutish, sure, but that’s freedom. She advocates further for democracy over monarchy and says they don’t serve sh*t kings because of who their father was, they choose their rulers like Mance Rayder. Now we know as modern folks how the democratic process is flawed too, but this nugget of historical fiction and reflection upon our medieval beginnings as an unexpected, but welcome layer for the show to unfold.

Apart from philosophical treatise though, we get Ygritte acting out how she imagines it will go when Jon Snow hands her over to his boss and she relays her fake story of how he “ruined her” (there goes that word again!). It’s fantastic, that sick sense of sexual humor I love in a woman. Then she seduces him, describing her lady parts all tantalizingly, then she gives the rope a swift kick and runs off, leading him into an ambush of her people.

Harrenhal

One of my favorite “calm before the storm” scenes occurs here. Maisie Williams and Charles Dance face off again as their respective characters, Arya and Tywin Lannister, dancing around their suspicions and mistrust and relishing in the intellectual stimulation the other provides. After Tywin whines to The Mountain that he wants him to find who killed Amory Lorch because they were probably after him, he talks to Arya about his legacy. He offers Arya his mutton and she holds her knife maliciously for a bit, but then she sinks her teeth into their conversation. He expects that his current war, “The War of Five Kings” will be what defines him, the glory he passes on to his children. He then discusses the history of Harrenhal as the fortress for King Harren the Black. It was tall enough to withstand any ground assault easily, but the Targaryens changed the rules and their dragons flew over the castle giving the towers the smoky look of today and obliterating the men inside.

Arya reminds him that not only Aegon Targaryen rode dragons, his sisters did too. Way to go, feminist kid! Those sisters, Visenya and Rhaenys were fierce warriors. Arya particularly idolizes Visenya, her dragon Vhagar and her Valyrian sword Dark Sister. Tywin asks her why she isn’t interested in the maidens of the songs like most girls. And like a boss she answers, “Most girls are idiots.” BOOM. Then Tywin makes a telling remark that he knows her secret. No matter how she tries to convince that she is a stonemason’s daughter, she is too literate and learned. He knows she must be noble. He corrects her and says that noble women say “My Lord,” commoners say “Milord.” She must play the part better. Is he so enchanted with her, will he not care of what noble birth she is from? The stepping on eggshells while having enlightening discussions is a stellar combo, and a wonderful way to spend this “downtime.”

King’s Landing

The Hound gives a foreboding message to Sansa when she criticizes his gleeful attitude toward killing. After he assures her that even her father loved killing (“It’s the sweetest thing there is”), he insists she’ll appreciate the hateful things he does when he is all that stands between her and her beloved king. We know he’s prone to abusing women, this marriage could prove hurtful for her on many levels. That fear paralyzes her when she wakes from a a nightmare to discover she has bled. She can now bear Joffrey’s children. Shae helps her to conceal it and even puts a knife to the throat of another handmaiden who was peaking. But suddenly, The Hound is there hovering over the soiled sheets.

In the next scene, we start to feel bad for Cersei when she describes the sham of a marriage she had with Robert. He would flee to hunt when she was close to labor, then return with pelts. She gave him a baby. Her other womanly wisdom for Sansa is to love as little as possible since it makes you weak. “Love no one but your children.” Then Sansa becomes confused, this whole time she felt it was vital for her to love Joffrey. So when she asks shouldn’t I love the king, Cersei responds: “You can try, little dove.” Chilling stuff. She may, besides her son, be the most manipulative and sociopathic villain there is, there are reasons why she is so horrid.

My ability to “relate” to Cersei increases when she confides in Tyrion (the brother she loathes!) that she’s afraid she’ll have to pay the price for her sins, her incest with Jamie. At the start, Tyrion is calculated and says the advancing fleet of Stannis Baratheon must be dealt with, get Joffrey to start acting like a king, but she can’t. He quips, “it’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you put on a crown on it’s head. But he consoles her when she cites the Targaryens as a family who bred internally and how half of them went mad. She wonders if her uncontrollable child is the madness she deserves for her repulsive sexual acts. Tyrion assures her that the young ones, Myrcella and Tommen are good and although I’m sure Tyrion finds the relationships between his siblings gross, he doesn’t mention it here. Tyrion has on several occasions undermined his sister because he doesn’t trust her, but there’s no doubt how pitiful Cersei is here, and that it takes her down a peg on the villainy scale.

Qarth

The crazies come out. While Xaro can’t stop bragging about how rich he is now, he’s also distraught because he took a blood oath to protect Daenerys. Now that her dragons are gone his reputation is tainted: “A man is what he is to others and nothing more,” he says. Ser Jorah returns and although his crush on her is still a source of tension, his counsel is important to her. He understands her trust issues because she has no loyal followers yet (The Dothraki mostly left her), but he knows no one can survive this world without help.

Daenerys then pleads to the Thirteen for help to find her dragons and they are reluctant. The fat, annoying, yet eloquent speaker one says they don’t want to since dragons only bring destruction and misery. Then Daenrys is like, “But they’re my children!” Then one of the Thirteen, warlock Pyat Pree speaks up saying they are cruel to separate her from them. He declares that he has allied with lofty ambitions man, Xaro Xhoan Daxos, to make him King of Qarth and to open up their city to the West. He uses his strange brand of magic then to multiple behind all the remaining members and slit their throats. While not as bizarre (blood spilled is typical now on GoT), it was even more jarring because of how random it was. The warlock was not showcased nearly enough to give me a sinking feeling like I had with Melisandre. Once again men who realize that times have changed do what they are willing to do and cut out the antiquated council and get with the times. The warlock strongly urges Daenerys to find her dragons, that he admits to stealing, in the House of the Undying. That sounds like a fun stroll, right? Nope, sounds like the carnival ride from hell.

Robb Stark’s camp

While a smitten Robb promises to smuggle more medical supplies for the sexy Talisa, bringing her along for The Crag’s conditioned surrender, Jamie Lannister makes a break for it. When his distant cousin Alton relays the news that Cersei ripped up Robb’s demands they hold him in the cell with Jamie. Not Robb’s best choice, but he was pressed and he’s trying to get with a nurse. Needless to say, the man’s busy. Anyway, our time not listening to Jamie ramble on like The Joker about how honorable people are hypocrites seems like wasted time now.

When Alton is first dropped in, Jamie makes small talk asking who he is and Alton says he was once his squire. When he jogs his memory Jamie compliments the lad and reminisces when he was 16 and squired for Ser Barrister Selmy. He describes the honor as being like living a dream. It’s clear how much he values fighting and knighthood. Then he complains how he isn’t suited for subservience like Ned Stark and how he has been planning to escape and that Alton can help. He has no qualms about whispering in the adoring young man’s ear that he will have to die. He clobbers his distant cousin over the head till death and then strangles the guard who comes to tend to him.

Northern bannerman catch the escaped Kingslayer and call for his head, especially Lord Karstark, the strangled guard’s father. Catelyn tells him to stand down in the name of King of the North. The men get rowdy then, getting drunker and ranting about how Talisa has made Robb soft and that they don’t want to die defending a Lannister. Catelyn then confronts Jamie herself. Jamie shows no remorse and even assures that any knight would have done the same. Catelyn believes he is no knight because he has forsaken any vow he ever took. Jamie the retorts that vows can’t be followed dutifully. What if a king he should obey kills the innocent he should protect? The vigilante starts making a lot of sense! Jamie then goes overboard though, pushing the wrong button. He asserts that he’s more honorable than Ned Stark because he has only been with one woman (Cersei) when Ned had a bastard child (Jon) with a whore. He incurs the wrath of Mama Stark and Catelyn asks for Brienne’s sword.

You know when Jamie and Cersei start to seem reasonable that the world’s capacity for ethics has been depleted. Moral relativism is the name of the game. Do what must be done until principle, honor and righteousness are a luxury you can afford. Until then, plan for a sword to stab you in the back by stabbing them first. Even the expert schemers like Tyrion seem woeful for the turn the world has taken. Whether you call it evil, magic, karma, or God’s will, it an undeniable force that is suffocating the order of Westeros with its disorderly conduct. Nothing makes sense, so make your own rules. As anarchy reigns, I await with great anticipation as the dominoes fall. I hope we see our favorite fire priestess soon and that when Stannis’ fleet comes knocking there’s a throwdown for the ages in King’s Landing. For a setup as delightful as any battle due to psychological and philosophical wafare, “A Man Without Honor” earns my allegiance through cunning and contemplation. Westeros is as complicated and complex as ever, but a joy to navigate.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

Robb Stark (Richard Madden) learns Winterfell has been taken by Theon Greyjoy, a man he once called brother.

A couple weeks ago when I reviewed “Garden of Bones,” I noted I was bummed we missed the brunt of another Robb battle. I recognize that as a TV show they don’t have Lord of the Rings money, but I so badly want to see Robb Stark slice and dice some Lannisters that I couldn’t help but sigh.

But I’ve figured out why those sequences can be skipped over. The romantic notion that faceless soldiers are rushing off to foreign lands and winning us our freedom by sacrificing their safety, shooting at whatever savage enemy threatens our way of life, is easy to root for, but it’s not warfare at its purest. Warfare is contained in intimate and brutal moments where the life men thought they knew is shattered along with his convictions, their heart melts as innocence and beauty are torn apart and he’s inspired to swear allegiance to whomever will allow them to seek revenge. Game of Thrones is so appropriately titled because it isn’t titled The War of Kings. Notice that besides Stannis’ shadow-stabbing his brother, no substantial movements toward attaining that coveted throne have been made.

We have four episodes left in the season and King’s Landing is untouched. However, on a small scale, assault after assault is derailing or emboldening the would-be rulers. And even more troubling for these commanders is the truth that much of their conquest depends on love and loyalty, a commodity in short supply. And then there’s the eternally undervalued assets: the women of Westeros. If this episode reminded us of anything, it’s that no matter how despicably these queens, princesses, and even wildings are treated, they govern the most vulnerable part of a knight’s armor, his heart.

Winterfell

Maester Luwin races against time to send out a messenger raven as Theon and his forces take Winterfell. His plan to draw out their men with a small raid on Torrhen’s Square worked splendidly. To be fair, the commander of these remaining Northern soldiers was like…a 10 year old cripple? So Theon is not exactly a military mastermind, just lucky his competition is weak. Regardless he storms into Bran’s bedroom and the sleepy lord pulls himself out of bed and refuses to surrender. Though there isn’t much choice and the kind-hearted boy wants to limit the casualties so he does concede. He asks his former “brother” a heartbreaking question, “Did you hate us the whole time?” It’s the perfect emotion for the boy to portray. Robb trusted him to enlist the Greyjoy fleet and they housed him for years treating him like one of their own. But as Balon Greyjoy has pointed out, Theon is not, and never will be, a Stark. His time in Winterfell was a condition of surrender, not a courtesy. Why should he feel like a traitor?

As Theon requested, Bran assembles his people in the courtyard. Osha tells the young lord that his dream has come true; the ocean has come to swallow this place. Ser Rodrik Cassel returns from Torrhen’s Square only to be captured immediately. When Rodrik sees Theon he berates the lad for this ungrateful and pitiful rebellion. He implores him to see that those who love him are there in Winterfell not at Pyke, but Theon’s mind is made up and he does not submit and assures the townspeople they will love him as they did Ned Stark. For comparing himself to his former and honorable lord, Rodrik spits in the face of his “conqueror.” Theon’s reaction is to throw him in jail, but his first mate demands Rodrik pay “the iron price” a.k.a execution.

Bran begs that cooler heads prevail, and the fear in Theon’s eyes reduces him to the forlorn child he really is. All he wanted was to belong to a house, and confronted with the choice he chooses the easy path of the sword. The brutal decision is reflected in the execution. You see how weak Theon is and how dull his sword is and you know this won’t be a clean hack. Rodrik’s last words are sure to haunt Theon: “Now you are truly lost.” He swings down on Rodrik’s neck a few times, and to finish off the beheading he kicks it off. This is one of the best cases I can make for the gratuitous violence. Although it’s repulsive, in this instance it shows how poorly suited Theon is for his position. He’s too green to be a slaughterer, but in this cruel world you will eventually be on one end of the sword, and the safest side is the least cleansing for the soul.

With the blood of his former protector on his hands, Theon enjoys his spoils. Osha, the wilding he helped capture last season pleads twice to serve her new lord. She first asks to be employed as a warrior, but Theon knows the risk of handing her a spear. So the second time around she bargains for her freedom by offering her body. We know from how he fondled his sister (he didn’t know it was her, to be fair) that Theon’s a dog, so this is a well-conceived play that he buys hook, line and sinker when she strips. Post-coitus, as he sleeps, Osha gets up and whisks Bran, little brother Rickon and Hodor out of the castle. I was legitimately shocked that she possessed such loyalty and the act immediately shot her up a few places to become one of my favorite Westerosi women. Arya and Margery still reign supreme, but she’s close with Daenerys, who I’ve become disappointed with and will discuss below.

North of the Wall

While our thrilling introduction of Winterfell’s siege sets a bleak and desperate tone, we get some hope on the horizon in the frigid north. Qhorin Halfhand leads Jon Snow into the Frostfangs mountain range hunting for wildlings. After all, beyond the wall you either kill while they sleep, or you might not wake up yourself. Halfhand further advises his new ranger to be naive and think his courage and heroic ambitions will save him. “Start thinking you know this place and it will kill you.” He also destroys his ideas of glory with another great line, “Your death will be a gift to those south of the wall…they won’t even know your name.”

They eventually descend upon one small group and Jon has one of them in his grasp. When he pulls off her hood he’s surprised to find a woman. He, of course, hesitates as she mocks him for never having killed a woman before. Halfhand orders him to execute her, a mirroring of Theon’s dilemma. As his superior and the others climb to the top, they leave Jon to his dirty work. Where Theon “succeeded” though, Jon fails. He intentionally misses her neck, and Ygritte scurries away. After a chase across the gorgeous frozen landscape, Jon tackles her. Now lost from the group Jon and his prisoner take shelter (well they just sort of plop on the ground) for the night.

The adorable Rose Leslie as Ygritte (who looks-wise is a hell of a challenger to Emilia Clarke’s Daenersy and Natalie Dormer’s Margery) suggests they’d be warmer if they snuggle. Jon reluctantly—though, come on, he perked up soon as she said that—agrees. The scene’s wonderful because I’ve been wondering with how good-looking Kit Harrington is if he was ever going to have a love interest. And how better to thaw a cold-hearted warrior than a woman’s warmth. When she wiggles a bit to get comfortable I wondered if Jon snipped at her because it excited him. I mean, she was kind of rubbing on him. Or maybe I’m just a pig, but he’s got to be thinking it, right? Didn’t Theon tease him for never having been with a woman? Well, you know he wants it, only a matter of time.

King’s Landing

Joffrey’s reign becomes even messier after a ceremony sending his sister, Myrcella, off to Dorne as Tyrion had arranged. Although, I’ll admit, I thought that engagement was all smoke and mirrors to uncover Pycelle’s treachery. Guess he was killing two messenger ravens with one arrow. During the proceedings, Cersei, playing up the bitter and scorned mother, threatens her imp brother by wishing that he one days knows love. She hopes that he finds a woman whom he cares for so deeply that he even sees her with his eyes closed. And then, once he’s found her, she’ll take her from him. Harsh as all hell, but it was a dick move on Tyrion’s part. Cersei doesn’t deserve kindness, but you’d imagine that besides her herself, her children are probably the only things that matter to the ice queen.

As the royalty is being escorted through the town square, his subjects mock Joffrey and one throws a cowpie (well let’s call it was it is, a piece of sh*t) serving as a catalyst for a full-on riot. Insulted, the fervid twerp barks at his guards to kill them all. The ensuing melee is equally as gruesome as Theon’s execution, especially when a high priest is torn limb from limb. In the scrum, Sansa Stark, Joffrey’s future queen, is displaced and run down by four peasants who intend to rape her when The Hound swoops in to rescue her, disposing of the savage subjects like it’s nothing.

Disgusted, Tyrion screams at his nephew for his foolishness. The peasants are upset because they are starving due to a war he started by decapitating Ned Stark. He is the only one to blame for the chaos. Joffrey whines like the runt he is that he can’t be spoken to that way. Tyrion delivers a typically gangster quip after he emphatically smacks the kid king upside the head: “And now I struck a king! Did my hand fall off?” What a badass mofo. And he’s absolutely right, the overwhelmed City Watch—who is mostly off fighting for Tywin—might fail to contain the damages because he couldn’t just wipe the sh*t off his face and move on. Joffrey doesn’t demand respect he cries for it like the baby he is. He’s so insecure about his own claim to the throne that he motivates others to take it from him because he rules so impulsively.

Harrenhal

Arya impresses Tywin Lannister with her capability and wit. He jokes that she should choose his next battle plan. Suddenly, Petyr Baelish pays him a visit and Arya cannot leave since she must serve wine, but Baelish after serving her father will surely recognize her face. She does the best she can to move swiftly, but from the quizzical look on Baelish’s face he must recognize her. Let’s hope if he has placed her he doesn’t intend to share this with Tywin. Though a part of me wonders how Tywin will react. He has treated her so kindly and they’ve developed a mutual respect, a bond of sorts. Would he spare her? Baelish’s business is probably on behalf of Margery Tyrell (I missed her so), possibly on his own, and interested in brokering an alliance between the Tyrells and the Lannisters to oppose the now inflated forces of Stannis Baratheon.

Later, a sneaky Arya, artfully dodges Tywin’s questions of how she learned to read. She answers that her father was a stonemason who taught her and himself and that loyalty killed him. At least the last part is true. Oh Arya, how awesome are you? Then when she baits him to discuss his father and upbringing she steals his battle plan off the table and runs off with it when he asks for a log for the fire. She runs into his knight Ser Amory Lorch who questions her about the paper. She scampers away and hurriedly finds Jaqen, who has two more people to kill for her. She insists he do it fast and just as Ser Lorch enters Tywin’s chamber he falls over with a dart in his neck. Two down, one to go. And Arya is once again resourceful, brilliant and the most badass little girl in the Seven Kingdoms. Maisie Williams, in an episode full of memorable acing, might still have the crown.

Robb Stark’s camp

Because the cosmos couldn’t have one one good-looking Stark brother with a lady friend and not the other, the nurse from two episodes ago, Talisa, appears again to charm Robb. I found their first encounter riveting given that she was basically insulting his leadership. She pointed out the needless bloodshed of war and the hypocrisy of it—that in fighting for peace you kill innocent men. But as mothers always do, Catelyn Stark arrives as he’s macking her. What a cockblock. Then she reminds him he’s betrothed, due to a debt they must repay. I’m thinking Robb gets out of it somehow because this one’s a keeper. And besides, he’s no Lannister, he doesn’t “always pay his debts.”

Robb also gets wind of the sacking of Winterfell by Theon. Considering he sent Theon to Pyke for recruiting purposes, he takes it personally. He commands a few hundred men led by Northern lord Roose Bolton’s bastard son Ramsay Snow—remember all bastards are named Snow in the North. All that Robb requires is that Theon’s brought back alive so he can ask him why, then kill him himself. Hell yeah, Robb. Show that adopted brother why he probably was right not to believe you were his family. Oh, wait.

Qarth

And lastly, Daenerys. Last season, she put in work. She seduced a Dothraki warlord, she watched as her brother was killed by molten gold, and she birthed some dragons. Not a bad few months. But as of lately, she hasn’t gotten very far. Well, she crossed the Red Waste and gained entry in Qarth on reputation and threats. But since last week, not much has happened. She denied Xaro (the richest man in Qarth) a marriage proposal, good for her. But she’s resorted to begging others now. Someone already offered you ships, you just had to marry him! You already married someone in your pursuit of the crown, why stop now? I guess she fell for Drogo, but now she wants to be principled? I’m not sure.

So she gets an audience with the eloquent and ruthless Spice King. She asks for a fleet of ships to cross the Narrow Sea. He says, I got a business to run, and I don’t blame him. It isn’t a solid investment. She has no army, and no real allies when you consider most people have forgotten the Targaryen name. Her passion is unrelenting and admirable, but all she has is the threat of dragons. She babbles some spiel about how her dreams come true (which sort of explains how she so confidently walked into fire in last season’s finale), but as a practical and self-made man, I can’t fault him. I love you, Daenerys darling, but you are grasping at straws here. Don’t let Jorah’s blinding feelings for you keep you from making a advantageous business transaction with Xaro. Then, as the episode ends with Xaro advising Daenerys that she’ll need less righteous means to attain such lofty goals, she discovers her guards and maidens have been murdered and her dragons stolen. Now, she really has nothing.

Many of those we want to succeed, and even those we wish ill of, are giving themselves away, hoping that their true freedom will come. In these grim times, like Brienne and Catelyn did last week, you must swear by something powerful to survive—even if if you don’t trust them or believe in what they stand for. Osha lets Theon have his way with her, the Tyrells are making deals with the deplorable Lannisters, and Daenerys might have to let go of her beliefs and succumb to Xaro so that she may leave Qarth at least with what she came with. And Arya’s problematic allegiances with Tywin and even Jaqen could easily combust if the truth comes to light. Robb and Jon have women who have ensnared their affections, but love can be the most deadly of loyalties. While I feel like by episode six they had built up more steam last season, there’s no doubt in my mind that with magic lingering over them and desperate alliances being forged, we could see a head-on collision of swords and shadows in the coming weeks.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

“Game of Thrones” is the story of a power struggle in a feudal society, filled with political intrigue, betrayal, violence, moral ambiguity, and character drama.

You wouldn’t know this if you’d read the vast majority of the media feedback on the show, however.

No, if all you knew about “Game of Thrones” came from reviews and entertainment news outlets, you would think that “Game of Thrones” is about boobs. Lots and lots of boobs.

Boobs.

Boobs on naked women. Boobs on semi-naked women. Boobs on women having sex. Boobs on women getting dressed. Boobs on women getting undressed. Boobs.

Tired of that topic yet? Yeah, exactly. That’s probably how a“Game of Thrones” fan reading reviews of the show feels too: entertainment news and the blogosphere can’t seem to keep from hyper-focusing on the show’s ample nudity and sex.

And believe you me: There is a lot of nudity and sex in “Game of Thrones.”

No one is disputing that. The problem is that people are choosing to focus on the mature content at the expense of the show’s other redeeming qualities. Worse still, the nudity and sex is being touted as a hugely offensive, negative part of the show… instead of, say, the equally humongous amounts of graphic violence.

According to entertainment news, we are apparently living in a world where suggestiveness is way, way worse than violence and abuse. It’s a world where a scene in which Margaery Tyrell willingly disrobes (boobs!) is so awful it must be commented upon incessantly, but the sight of Eddard Stark’s decapitated head stuck on a pike is not worth mentioning.

This discrepancy has become so obvious that 9Gag.com has created a chart documenting the amount of nudity per episode. A chart depicting deaths or violent acts, however, has yet to be created. Apparently it isn’t as worth talking about as all of the boobs.

The subject of nakedness in “Game of Thrones” has become so pervasive that reviewers are taking special note of when it’s not included in an episode, as in this article from Wired. It’s a subject for intense journalistic discourse, requiring both opponents and defenders, and it’s been parodied by SNL.

Leading lady Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys Targaryen, can’t even get through a single interview or profile without someone asking her about what she thinks of being unclothed so often on the show. Exhibits A, B, and C. Of less note, apparently, is her character’s emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with her brother, or the violence done on her behalf and by her orders.

Last year we covered NYT reporter Ginia Bellafonte’s woefully condescending and point-missing early review of “Game of Thrones,” in which she, too, commented on the provocativeness as a point against the show. Her point seemed to be that the target demographic was obsessed with boobs, yet she herself failed to note what the story is actually about.

If anyone is “obsessed” with boobs, it’s not the audience: it’s the apparently puritanical reviewers.

The trend of clutching one’s journalistic pearls over the sight of nudity in “Game of Thrones” is disturbing on a number of levels.

First, sex and nudity are a pretty natural part of life and relationships, a fact that shouldn’t shock most of the TV-viewing public. Beheadings, impalings, torture, executions, brutal maiming, fights to the death, and brawls on the other hand, are not part of daily life, nor should they be. The fact that the graphic violence of “Game of Thrones” is somehow more acceptable to reviewers and bloggers than the sight of Daenerys Targaryen’s breasts is rather… well, backward.

It’s hypocritical and frankly weird that this aspect of “Game of Thrones” has incited a more negative reaction than the violence and death. Not that there’s anything wrong with the violence in “Game of Thrones,” either, it’s just… where are our priorities?

If we’re waving our arms around in outrage over nudity, shouting “Think of the children!”, shouldn’t we be more upset by the exposure to grisly deaths and violence than the very normal and benign sight of the naked human body?

It probably says much more about our society’s outlook on human sexuality­­—and female sexuality, in particular—than it does about the show’s “gratuitous” use of it.

Perhaps the show’s focus on sexuality matter of taste. After all, much of it is plot-related, and the show would suffer for its exclusion. The very first episode of season one ends with a young child being hurled from a tower after peering in on an incestuous (twincestuous?), adulterous coupling that he was never meant to see. That scene shapes the beginning of the conflict between two major houses, and reveals the secret that will eventually start a war.

Then again, there’s also Esme Bianco’s Ros, a character invented for the show (she doesn’t appear in the books, though she does replace a few prostitutes from the novels) as a vehicle of exposition. Purists might say that the busty redhead (who spends a great deal of time in her birthday suit) is not essential to the plot, and is an unnecessary distraction, even if she clarifies plot points through dialogue.

Matters of personal taste aside: is there truly anything wrong with including salacious material in the show, whether or not it was explicitly shown or even implied in the books?

No. There’s not. There’s really not, and viewers or reviewers who are offended might just need to kindly grow the hell up.

Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) prepares for battle as all of Westeros feels the effects of a sudden murder.

Yeah, that JUST HAPPENED. You thought the way last week ended was a tad unsettling, get a load of how this one kicks off. In a scene that now seems hugely symbolic, Renly Baratheon (literally) takes off his armor as he relays his plan to vanquish his brother Stannis’ army at dawn. And then…he chokes on his words.

Shadow baby becomes a shadow man with it’s (?) first kill, swooping into Renly’s tent and stabbing him in the back in front of his personal guard Brienne and Lady Catelyn Stark. It’s such a shock to the system, you almost don’t believe it. To start an episode with such a world-altering event is a double-edged sword though. Looking back, I wonder if it was similar to including a comedy film’s best punchlines in the trailer. Did they give away the farm?  It sets an assertive tone though, and it establishes the rule of the realm that Arya later declares to Tywin Lannister—anyone can be killed.

The initial adrenaline rush lingers, giving the episode a cluttered feel. It’s quickened too by its attempts to drop in on every location to see how swift Westeros has swerved in another direction after the cataclysmic assassination. The lasting impact of “The Ghost of Harrenhal” hinges so tightly to the ripples of Renly’s murder that it’s hard to hold onto, let alone remember, anything else meaningful that happens afterward. But as your servile TV critic I’ll do my best.

The Aftermath at Renly’s Camp

As one might imagine, the sudden slaying of your commander (and the man you believe has the most legitimate claim to the throne) might shake things up a bit. Immediately after, Brienne is the number one suspect, having been the only sword-weilding person—why they wouldn’t account for shadow people is ridiculous— in his vicinity. Her inclination is not to leave the body of her king. Her horrifying screams seemed slightly overblown, but then later when she swears an oath of fealty to Catelyn, it becomes clear she her lot in life is to serve. She seems lost when the lord she revers leaves this earth, like a part of her has been defeated as well. Thankfully, she finds a womanly courage within Catelyn, and Lady Stark is always willing to take in honorable lost souls.

Less obviously devastated, but still grieving are his lover, Loras Tyrell and his wife, Margery Tyrell. Loras wants to stay and avenge his brother in battle, but as Littlefinger rationalizes, he’ll be dead before he can get close to Stannis. His army’s disorganized and unprepared, awaiting their fate. Most of them end up converting into Stannis believers, so while it comes off cowardly, Loras is being smart in fleeing. My love affair with Margery continues when she confides in Littlefinger that she does not want to be a queen, she wants to be THE queen. It would seem Melisandre has that title wrapped with Stannis, so who does she cozy up to next? I love how manipulative she is, and how unafraid she is to show it. She’s a career-minded woman, and she will get what she wants. She barely mourns, because Renly was an arrangement of convenience, not an unbreakable bond. I expect she isn’t going to be fleeing for long.

King’s Landing

With Stannis’ army about to add 100,000 strong, Tyrion is nervous about what strategy Joffrey has to oppose those astronomical numbers. His new spy, Lancel, has overheard Cersei discuss “Wildfire” a chemical weapon of sorts that burns more fiercely than your run-of-the-mill fire. When Tyrion drops by the alchemist guild that is assembling this secret weapon, he learns they’ve been amassing jars of the stuff for months—the count in the thousands when he arrives.

Bronn, Tyrion’s brutish right hand, is skeptical: “Men win wars, not magic tricks.” And this seems to be an antiquated, or at least incorrect view. Magic eliminated Renly’s threat, and far-off Daenerys threatens with her baby fire-breathers, therefore magic and fire seem like the trend in warfare. Tyrion recognizes the possible destruction that would result from such a volatile weapon being in Joffrey’s hands, and commands the alchemist report to him now. Not sure how he could so easily sway the man, but I suppose the Hand trumps Queen regent.

To balance out the heavy, we’re treated to Tyrion and Bronn, buddy cop duo as they survey the townsfolk who seem eager for an uprising. They mock their boy king and his sociopathic tendencies, and Tyrion agrees: “The king is a lost cause, I’m worried about the rest of us.” Although he is discouraged to know that the commoners view him as the puppet master pulling his strings. They refer to him unaffectionately as a “demon monkey” and he seems determined hereafter to prove he deserves their admiration.

Stannis’ army

High off his recent acquisition of soldiers, Stannis is ready to take on King’s Landing. Ser Davos seems reticent only because of how easily his king deployed dark magic to reach his ends. To him, these means seem more threatening than helpful. Stannis calms his advisor by handing him the keys to his naval fleet, despite his beginnings as a smuggler. He also assures him that Melisandre will not accompany them on this invasion, but I doubt this means she’ll be uninvolved during the entirety of his conquest, let alone his possible reign.

Pyke

Not much to report except that Theon sets sail for his mission to seize a fisherman’s village viking-style. His crew is a bunch of rapists and looters frankly, and don’t seem likely to take orders (especially from a boy who was only recently baptized). His first mate is more cordial, and even offers him advice in how he can prove himself: take down a more valuable target. The first mate (whose name I looked across the Seven Kingdoms for and couldn’t find) suggests Torrhen’s Square, a castle not far from Winterfell. The idea is that Bran will deflect his forces there and be unequipped to handle the brunt of the Iron Island attack when they come knocking on his door.

Winterfell

Let’s just say Bran sees this coming, but nobody believes him. Bran Stark tells his wildling servant, Osha, about a vivid dream where the sea comes to Winterfell. This is immediately dismissed since Winterfell is 100 miles from water. Osha also deflects questions about the three-eyed raven that continuously appears in his prophetic dreams, not wanting to answer what it might mean. That can’t be a good sign. And with all this witchcraft going on, I can’t help but buy into Bran as dream psychic. Bran proves his leadership when he commits 200 troops, along with his Master-At-Arms Rodrik Cassel, to investigate the sacking of Torrhen’s Square, but could that be playing into The Iron Islanders hands?

Beyond the Wall

Probably the plot that suffered the most severe cutbacks was this one. Besides a charming discussion of what the “first men” who journeyed this harsh climate must have felt, the only notable change is their spotting of Mance Rayder’s men (Rayder is a former Night’s Watchman who decided he would crown himself King of the Wildlings or something). Jon Snow insists he be one of the rangers to accompany Halfhand on his raid. Sam take over as Commander Jeor Mormont’s steward, and that about wraps it up. As much as I loved Jon Snow in season one, I’m hoping we get to see some heroics pretty soon. Otherwise, our adventure in the way North has only produced an incestuous host named Craster, a baby boy sacrifice and a white walker sighting.

Qarth

Daenerys plays with her dragons (not a euphemism) within the gorgeous walls of Qarth. She’s suspicious of Xaro Xhoan Daxos (I looked it up!) who buys her a dress. As she guessed, he’s interested in marrying her, but not for the reasons you might expect—she’s sexy as hell, and her “firepower” kinda turns me on. His ambition is to turn his riches into political clout. He’s got a well-secured safe full of gold that would buy her the most formidable army in Westeros and would ensure she reclaims the Iron Throne for House Targaryen. He also passes along the valuable nugget of information that Robert Baratheon is dead. It had totally slipped my mind that she wasn’t aware of this. I think because her plans to conquer fit in so perfectly with the turmoil Westeros plunged into the minute he passed, I forgotten she was out of the loop.

She insists to her advisor, Jorah Mormont, that this is the perfect time to strike. Jorah, however, seems hesitant to see her wed. I always knew he loved her, but didn’t know when it would start to complicate their relationship or their ambitions. He professes his love to her subliminally when he says she would be loved as well as feared as Queen: “There are times when I look at you, and still can’t believe you’re real.” This certainly gives Daenerys the heebie-jeebies, but I’m unsure if she will take stock of his advice to “make her own way.” If I’m her, I marry the rich black man (The first one to get a major part! In a show with dynamite females, it’s nice to see that equal employment opportunity extend to race as well). He’s got the dough to get you the might you need to match your growing dragon threat. I say use him and abuse him, then cut him loose if he doesn’t satisfy you once your sitting on the Iron Throne. By the way, how adorable are those baby dragons? Mommy, can I have one?!

Harrenhal

What leapt this episode to above average status for me though was my required dose of Arya. Her awesomeness knows no bounds. When cornered by her new employer, Tywin Lannister, she tries to lie and pass for a Southerner, but her lack of knowledge reveals her to be a Northerner. And yet she stands her ground, bending the truth again by not giving her true origin and naming a Northern house she knows as well as her own. She then perpetuates an imposing myth about her brother that he rides into battle on the back of a giant direwolf, and that he can’t be killed. She qualifies it though with her motto for the episode. Say it with me—anyone can be killed.

Her other development involves the repaying of a debt. During the invasion of the City Watch, Arya had handed an axe to the caged prisoners, one of whom was Jaqen H’ghar. Since she saved his life with that gesture, Jaqen promises to return the favor by killing three people of her choice. Guess that means she’ll have three less to recite as she falls asleep! Later, he keeps his word and strikes down her first request with his bow and arrow: the man who tortured them a.k.a The Tickler. Does Arya have a master assassin in her pocket? Oh, “Game of Thrones,” I can’t stay mad.

“The Ghost of Harrenhal” might have been biting off more than they could chew with this installment, but you can’t say there isn’t any intrigue. Two fleets are about to descend upon their target—Stannis on King’s Landing, and Balon Greyjoy on Winterfell—, Arya’s got Tywin Lannister’s ear and an assassin on her team and let’s not forget the all-important glue (magic and fire), that kept this episode together. At a glance this week, GoT was disheveled, but thankfully it was bound together by duct tape. Adhered by the idea that the victors may have to cheat to win, magic and fire looms over the future of every house. It was an hour that broke the rules, but like a lovable rebel, we’re still gunning for them.

Many of the fan favorites have ethically dubious strategies, but the show has made it apparent that righteousness will get you killed. Without knowing it, we’ve all agreed to a moral relativism. All that separates good and evil is intent. Tyrion wants the respect of his subjects, but he’s willing to resort to chemical warfare. Daenerys seems destined to rule, but she wants to buy her way in. And Arya, for now, has given permission for an assassin to carry out her dirty work. But somehow, we all want them to succeed. That’s a credit to the writers who have masterfully drawn a huge cast without sacrificing any humanity. Each player’s motivations are spelled out within minutes of introduction so that we can assign our impressions, but their evolution isn’t done until they’re knocked off. Although the haunting beginning made maintaining tension almost insurmountable, by the end I realized I wasn’t any less invested. For showing the nuances of conquering on screen while seizing my imagination, GoT remains formidable and battle-ready.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

King Joffrey aims his crossbow at his future queen, insisting she must pay for her brother Robb's treason.

One might have guessed that the tone of this week’s episode would be grave when the end of the last promised a “cursed castle,” but I was not prepared for that. Decisively brutal and haunting, many characters we’ve come to respect confronted the darkness that lies within those they’ve sworn to protect. And for others, narrowly escaping death and agony does not ease their suffering, vengeful spirits. Tyrion learns that King Joffrey isn’t just selfish and impetuous, but sadistic and cruel, and Ser Davos watches in horror as he realizes the extent of the sorcery his commander’s lady dabbles in. Arya is sent to a torture camp where she’s rescued by the unlikeliest of allies and Daenerys finally finds civilization, but resists their hospitality when they wish to see her fire-breathing babies.

As has become customary, with an increasing number of locations and competing forces at play, not all locations can be serviced in a single episode while giving the proper heft to each. So this week, we turn away from Winterfell, what lies beyond the wall and Pyke to focus on the so-far neglected Daenerys, witness a fruitless conference between the Baratheon brothers and visit the charming, dragon-melted towers of Harenhaal.

Since a few scenes a occurred in imprecise locations, some sections will be associated with a person or persons.

Robb Stark’s army

The kickstart to the gruesome events shows two Lannister foot soldiers goofing off on their watch. One tries to spook the other by pretending to hear something in the brush only to fart at the other. But when the victim of this tomfoolery is not convinced that there isn’t something rustling about, Robb’s direwolf, Grey Wind, pounces on them. There’s a cut to black and then, amid the morning fog, Lannister bodies are strewn out on the dewey ground. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the use of the growling direwolf as an imposing and theatrical start to the battle, but there has yet to be a fully-staged battle in the series. There has been more intimate sword fights and there’s been no shortage of carnage, but it would appear the limited (though not modest) TV budget has put some constraints on the GoT team. It’s not so much a critique as a disappointment. I was geared up to see at least a few takedowns and I got a quick transition instead.

The one development I was awarded was a slick commentary on the inner turmoil of Robb Stark. Though Richard Madden has played this increasingly confident young commander with great poise, I haven’t had a clue what kind of conscience he has. Ned Stark was a man who strove to be mindful, and Robb seems to abide by his father’s principles. But since all I’ve seen him do is conquer enemies, I have yet to see that heart. To that point, we are treated to a scene where by contrast we’re able to glean that maybe Robb doesn’t relish in these assaults. His values show when he says he won’t torture men because “we don’t flay men in the North” and because it would only give the Lannisters reason to harm his sisters. Then, a nurse (who keeps her affiliation hidden) chastises Robb a bit for his mindless killing. Most of these men have no ties or loyalty to Joffrey and only do as they’re told. Why should they die because of his personal vendetta? She also pokes at his lack of plan when the fighting is over. He has no interest in the crown for himself, but no idea of who will replace the boy king either. It’s clear by his remorseful expression that this woman’s disapproval got to him. Will he be able to maintain his bravery and battle savvy as the fields get bloodier?

King’s Landing

Speaking of the crybaby ruler of the realm, Joffrey has a hissy fit when he learns of another defeat at the hands of Robb Stark. His unleashes his fury on his future queen and Robb’s sister, Sansa. While he’d like to shoot her on sight, he can’t break the engagement. What a charmer. So instead he has his knight, Ser Meryn, rip her clothes and beat her. And who comes to put an end to the ferocity but TYRION, the shortest, but baddest mofo in Westeros.

He “educates” his nephew about acting honorably on the throne, again channeling Ned Stark. As I’ve mentioned, I believe that these principles won’t be his undoing like they were for Ned, because he knows how to con others into loyalty or snuff out those who betray him. Despite the humiliation, Sansa still swears her love for Joffrey, and Tyrion says what I know I was thinking, “Lady Stark, you may survive this yet.” There’s no doubt in my mind she is simply playing the game, while inside she rues the day she can decapitate her groom-to-be.

Bronn, Tyrion’s guard and right hand, suggests they gift Joffrey some whores. He is an adolescent, and maybe that pent-up aggression can be abated with some pounding of the flesh. This seems Tyrion rubbing off on Bronn, a well-calcualated move, until we see Joffrey go hardcore S&M. He forces Ros at crossbow-point (seriously, who gave the twerp a freaking crossbow) to spank the other whore with his belt violently. Then he dials it up by handing her his stag-headed staff (not a euphemism). I think it’s safe to say everyone who watches this show hates Joffrey, but during this cringe-fest I know I had that primal urge to go beyond voyeuristic loathing and end him myself. He went from an entitled brat, to a heartless and unquestionable villain on par with his mother in terms of disregard for others’ pain. His message to his uncle has been sent: I will do as I please.

With not much for Tyrion to slay with his biting wit and clever maneuvering, we have to settle for him exposing a scandal. He discovers that while Jamie has been away, Cersei has shacked up with another willing family member…the pretty and dimwitted cousin Lancel. Tyrion uses this as blackmail—no doubt Joffrey would not approve—and thus acquires a new spy. He makes a splendid joke too, referencing last week’s imprisonment of Maester Pycelle. Lancel was originally sent to request his release on Cersei’s behalf, and after Tyrion strikes his “deal” with Lancel he grants the release saying, “I would say something about not having harmed a hair on his head, but that isn’t strictly true.” Of course he is referring to Bronn severing his flowing, gray beard before they threw him in the Black Keep. Ha! Oh Peter Dinklage, you’re a hoot and a half.

Renly’s camp

As promised, Lord Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish visits Renly Baratheon and Catelyn Stark, and isn’t received well by either. Renly doesn’t particularly like his face or “the words that come oozing out of [his] mouth,” but Lord Baelish expresses his loyalty hoping to ensure he’ll live and perhaps maintain his position in court in the event Renly wins (he does have the greatest numbers). Littlefinger then speaks with Margery, Renly’s devious, sexy queen, wondering why she has a separate tent. Margery, as I expected, doesn’t succumb to his questioning of her marriage, but I doubt Lord Baelish stops digging there. Also, you gotta appreciate the man’s way with words. His conversation with Margery was like an innuendo sandwich. I enjoyed his line to Renly: “If war were arithmetic, mathematicians would draw the world.”

He also meets with his childhood crush, Catelyn Stark: his main objective as assigned by Tyrion. She’s infuriated because she believes his treachery led to her husband’s death. Well, she’s half right. Lord Baelish advised Ned on how to handle the succession of the throne, but he chose not to listen. It was only then, when he knew his life would be endangered for supporting a traitor, that he double-crossed him. As badly as Catelyn wants to cut his throat, she spares him since he can help keep her daughters safe. He tries to broker a trade, but she knows Robb won’t settle. So Baelish respectfully presents her with her late husband’s remains as a gesture of goodwill (Tyrion’s suggestion).

Then we get my favorite small-scale talking scene, a meeting between Renly and Stannis Baratheon. A lot of barbs are exchanged, including Renly’s insults of  Melisandre’s religion. Stannis asserts he is the rightful heir, and then Renly retorts that no one wants him for their king, ending with what I have been saying since this clash began, “A man without friends is a man without power.” As much as I appreciate Stannis’ stoicism and his firm command, he doesn’t have much support besides his army. Stubborn, he issues the ultimatum that either Renly surrenders or he will destroy him. Renly immediately refuses and then Stannis ships back to Dragonstone. I also can’t say enough about the precision of the dialogue. It was such a sobering completion to the meeting when Renly added, “And I used to love him.” So simple, yet so effective. In a flash, we know that Renly regrets the turn things have taken since Robert’s death, but there’s no going back now either.

Harenhaal

The first of two new locations to pop up in the wonderfully animated opening credits is the fortress of Harenhaal, the Guantanamo Bay of the Lannister House. Arya, Gendry and company are shackled, awaiting their fate of torture. “The Mountain,” the vicious brother of Joffrey’s guard, “The Hound,” picks which kid or exile will be the next victim of his obscure coercion methods. Though I was unsure what they expected to learn from this pack of misfits, it makes sense that in war times there would be camps like these.

We learn that Arya has developed a new habit, she recites the names of those she wishes to kill before bed, something she must’ve picked up from Yoren, R.I.P. The names include, Joffrey, Cersei, The Hound, Polliver (the knight that killed Yoren), Ser Ilyn Payne (her dad’s executioner) and The Mountain—he is added after watching him strap a pail with a rat inside to a prisoner’s chest and then heating it (they actually used this same method in 2 Fast 2 Furious, weird). The next day Gendry is chosen, but who should appear but Tywin Lannister! Though he is the patriarch of the enemy, he still had the most riveting character intro ever—cutting open a stag as he talked to his son about how to hold onto power? Amazing. Tywin’s smart enough to decipher that Arya is a girl and essentially rescues her and appoints her as his new cup-bearer (am I the only one who thinks that sounds creepy coming from an old man?). He’s not cunning enough to figure out who she is though. Awfully convenient for her, but then again how would he know what she looks like?

The Red Waste/Qarth

Our second new locale is the walled city of Qarth. A living bloodrider finally comes back with news that they are three days’ journey from a place that will welcome them. Apparently this gated community is notorious for shutting people out and the area that surrounds the wall has been ominously called the “Garden of Bones.”Upon arrival, they are greeted by The Thirteen—mostly fat, white dudes (apparently Westeros and us aren’t so far apart, they looked like Congress).

They seem hospitable enough until one demands that they see her dragons before permitting entry to the “greatest city that ever was, or will be.” Daenerys denies them, protecting her young like the Mother of Dragons she is. She also keeps in mind that her starving Dothraki should take precedent, demanding they be allowed inside or they will die. She boasts that if they don’t comply, when he dragons are grown this shall be the first city they burn to the ground. One elder does stand up for her, the only black man Xaro Xhoan Daxos. After some in-house bickering, she’s escorted in. “The greatest city that ever was, or will be” does look magnificent, from what little we could glimpse when the gates opened, but this can’t just be some luxurious respite for our Dragon Queen.

Stannis, Melisandre and Davos

Here is where all the sinister vibes collected and were eventually unleashed in the most extravagant and fantastical scene of the series so far. As Stannis sails back to Dragonstone, he confers with his number two, Ser Davos. I must note that I couldn’t help but smile when Stannis corrects Davos’ grammar—it’s fewer fingers, not less fingers. Maybe, this ruthless warmonger is okay after all! I mean, no stickler for grammar can be evil, right? But honestly I also enjoyed seeing them interact for a bit, seeing how Davos’ skepticism of Melisandre comes from a place of mostly pure loyalty. I mean for Christ’s sake, he keeps his knuckle bones as a reminder of Stannis’ just punishment. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

Stannis orders Davos to bring Melisandre ashore, but isn’t specific for what purpose. On their canoe to shore, Melisandre tempts Davis, insinuating that he wants to see what is underneath her robe and that he’ll get to see soon enough. So we enter this cave on unsure footing, wondering why would she want to seduce Davos. Then, she sets down a lantern, disrobes, and reveals that she is extremely pregnant. She plops herself on the hard ground, spread her legs and after a couple pushes a black, shadowy, wispy kind of creature seeps out of her. Davos can only look in horror as he wonders what the hell she has just brought into this world.

What’s even more miraculous, is that this doesn’t seem completely far-fetched. This Lord of the Light didn’t seem like a pleasant god, but shadow babies seems darker than I’d anticipated. But with how frightening and alluring Carice van Houten has played Melisandre I was convinced. And I hate to brage, BUT, for someone who hasn’t read the books at all, I predicted this shift in the narrative awfully well. A world that seems to be run by the mighty just might be overrun by the magic they’ve long denied. As bizarre as that scene was, it felt necessary to explain why the cosmos had allowed all the horror that had preceded it. Without being obvious, it was evident that the episode’s somber air was a foreboding of some sort, so I’m glad it paid off. It was almost unbearable how little there was to cheer about. Yeah, Tyrion gained a minor leg-up on Cersei, and Arya wasn’t tortured, but Joffrey’s still a repulsive runt and Arya’s only temporally safe—how long before you think Tywin senses that she got some wolf in her? And let’s not forget two brothers committed to eliminating each other.

I mean, I wasn’t expecting uplifting material, but I usually walk away from a GoT episode with a surging feeling that something epic is imminent. We got a taste of awesomeness though—inexplicable and definitely wicked but cool nonetheless— and the writing on this show continues to delight and intrigue. With every syllable, there’s motivation seething out into the ether just waiting to be ensnared by the listener and boy, is it thrilling to have complex, well-built fantasy combined with such ambitious dialogue and storytelling. Though this might have been the weakest episode so far this season, even a down week in George R.R. Martin’s universe is a welcome adventure.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) sits sleeplessly, contemplating the cruelty of what she's seen at such a young age.

For a series billed as fantasy, there has been little magic in the land of Westeros. Daenerys hatched some dragons, and before that she entrusted her Dothraki hubby, Khal Drago, to a self-proclaimed healer who seemed attuned to some bad juju. Other than that, Westeros has been a realm of faith, steel and bloodshed that doesn’t stray too far from our medieval history. But as Jon Snow, bastard of House Stark, journeys farther away from The Wall, a grim unnaturalness lurks in the shadows. With the balance being upset by the numerous “kings” battling for an elusive throne, could this world be a pendulum swinging its weight away from the dominion of men toward the mythical?

Beyond the Wall/Winterfell

If there’s any indication that inexplicable forces are threatening than Jon Snow has seen it. We pick up this week moments after Snow was snatched by Craster while he was sneaking around, trying to discern where the sound of a crying baby had come from. Bashed and bloodied, he’s brought back to the wildling’s home where his commander, Ser Jeor Mormont, chastises him for provoking their much needed ally. When Jon protests, claiming he saw Craster sacrifice his son, Mormont basically says, “So what!” Just as in global politics, sometimes you make alliances with nations who have abhorrent morals in order to gain a valuable resource. And to the watch, warm lodging is gold: “Like it or not we need men like Craster.”

Snow says he doesn’t know what the beast was that snatched the baby, but I would presume it was a white walker. Although, I was intrigued by the prospect of a perhaps even deeper mythology when Mormont suggested, “Wildlings pray to crueler gods than you or I.” Is he equating Craster’s offering his newborn up for feeding to a ritual, or do the Wildlings really have a separate faith aside from the Old Gods and Faith of the Seven that we’ve seen followed so far. Could Melisandre’s precious Lord of the Light be among them?

We briefly stop by Winterfell to check on Bran who awakes from another lucid dream. Maester Luwin is skeptical when the boy tries to persuade him into his belief that he actually inhabits a direwolf somehow in his dreams. This seems logical, but where does his foresight concerning his father’s death fit in? Also, I chuckled when Maester Luwin cited the absence of dragons as proof that magic is gone from this world. Not so fast old man! Oh, dramatic irony.

Renly’s camp

After meeting Stannis two weeks ago now, we’re reacquainted with younger brother Renly Baratheon. He may not possess the military skills of his older brother, but he commands a mightier army through loyalty and likability. This is what prompted Robb Stark to send his mother, Catelyn Stark, as an ambassador to Renly’s camp. Our introduction is an armored duel much like that which kicked off the second season where The Hound brutally killed a man for Joffrey’s amusement. Here, Renly seems more merciful and organizes this match purely for sport.

Interestingly, one of the knights is his own gay lover of last season, Ser Loras Tyrell. Even more noteworthy is that he’s bested by what is revealed to be a giant woman Brienne (an imposing Gwendoline Christie). She’s an enigma thus far except that she wishes to devote herself to serving Renly is his Kingsguard. She also refuses to be called a lady by Catelyn Stark, simply because she doesn’t see herself as one. Lady Stark’s objective was to gain Renly’s allegiance in battle, but she can’t help her maternal instincts. When Renly pledges to make the Lannisters answer for their crimes by serving her Joffrey’s head, she tries to tell him his army isn’t fit for winter. Though they seem to be a coalition of the willing, to her eyes they’re the unequipped Knights of Summer.

Still, the most promising development was Renly’s wife and Ser Loras’ sister, Margery Tyrell. After Loras makes it apparent he’s in no mood to fool around after having his ass handed to him, Margery enters sporting a viciously deep and wide neckline. Initially, it seems she’s another naive wife who doesn’t see her husband’s homosexual tendencies. She starts seducing him like a champ, shedding her barely-there gown, while his focus is obviously elsewhere (which is unfathomable, to me, since actress Natalie Dormer is stunningly sexy). When he pulls away, using the old excuse of “I’m too tired, not tonight babe,” Margery retorts with a quip that caused me whiplash: “Do you want my brother to come in and help? Or he could get you started, I know he wouldn’t mind. Or I can turn around and you can pretend I’m him?” Damn girl, that STINGS.

Turns out, she’s got ambitions too. She’s well aware of the political gains implied in her union. Her reasoning is that he only needs to bed her until she has baby-size leverage in her belly, which would be enough to scare their enemies. Game for whatever sexually, Margery can live with the kinky stuff as long as it means her team’s winning. For a show already sizzling with strong female roles, Margery, and also Melisandre, add something to the Daenerys dynamic we were introduced to last season. Women in this world know their influence lies between their legs. Therefore, if they want something, seduction will be the weapon they wield. Of course, Arya Stark began to buck this trend last year, and this is precisely what makes the young girl lovable, but props are due to Margery for grabbing life by Renly’s…er…horn.

King’s Landing

Tyrion wasn’t blowing smoke when he declared he knew how this game is played. In an effort to detect traitors among his ranks, he crafts a masterful plan built on distributing deception. He divulges a plan for a brokered marriage involving his niece (Cersei’s daughter) Myrcella to his three fellow Small Councilmen. To Grand Maester Pycelle he shares his plan to wed her to the prince of House Martell in Dorne (all I know is apparently good wine comes from there); to Varys he shares his plan to marry her off to Theon and House Greyjoy; and to Petyr Baelish he shares his scheme to patch up his relations with House Arryn by offering the girl to Lysa’s son, Robin. Although all three were skeptical, they promise to remain hushed about these dealings. Tyrion reiterates to all them the importance that the Queen mustn’t know.

Consequently, when Cersei comes back tossing valuables and bitching about how he’s selling Myrcella to Dorne like she’s a common whore, he now knows he can no longer trust Pycelle. There was something slightly disturbing about how Tyrion tormented the old man (and interrupted his prostitute time!), ordering Bronn to cut off his beard with a knife and then throwing him in a “black cell.” Yes, it was a calculated maneuver, and what do you expect him to do to a man who admits to betraying consecutive Hands to the Kings for the Lannisters. Even though he himself is a Lion (the Lannister animal) he has proof of the old man’s loose lips. Once a traitor, always a traitor. And once, twice, three times a fool and all that. Here we see that not only can Tyrion win over hearts, but he can pluck out the subjects that will betray him. He values honor just as Ned Stark did, but he has the sense to know that not every man will share his code. He’ll have an honorable horde before this is over, but it will be on his terms.

If there’s any vulnerable spots in his scheming armor it’s his whore girlfriend, Shae. She’s catching cabin fever, but none of the menial jobs he suggests suit her pride. There’s no doubt in her that she is and always will be a whore, but she resents having to play dumb for him. Varys, who holds the secret of her presence, secures her the job of being Sansa Stark’s handmaiden. Inevitably, she’s entirely incompetent and Sansa takes her frustrations out on her. To be fair, Sansa has to sit at the dinner table with her proposed mother-in-law from hell, Cersei, while the smaller children discuss the likelihood that her brother will be slain. Unlike Arya, princess life has been her dream, but this life no doubt repulses her. These people she will call family, killed her father and are plotting to slaughter the rest. Despite it all though, she talks a good game and sits pretty as the Lannister’s little dove. Let’s hope she can exacts some sort of revenge, however risky that might be.

The Iron Islands, Pyke

As Balon Greyjoy prepares to occupy the weakly held North, while Robb’s armies march farther south, Theon debates over where his allegiances lie. Immediately upon return his need for Daddy’s approval was paramount. But Balon seems to have resigned to shunning him. Theon insists on compromise, but all his father does is recite the Greyjoy words, “We do not sow.” Put another way, we are subservient to no one. Stubborn, but valiant all the same. For Theon though, this means either he commands one measly ship against a fisherman’s village—while Yara keeps her distinction of second in command—or he betrays his bloodline and sides with his surrogate brother, Robb.

And who would blame him if he chose the latter? For all Balon’s posturing, he has indeed succumbed at least once. He surrendered to the Starks and willingly offered them his only remaining son. And while Theon has been a prisoner of Winterfell, there’s no doubt that all the Starks, especially Robb, have embraced him as one of their own. So if he does not belong to either House, where is home? At one point, Theon seems to side with Winterfell. He writes a letter of warning to Robb, I guess considering being a double agent. But ultimately he chooses blood over brotherhood and is baptized “by the power of salt, stone and steel” as stoically proud papa looks on. I suspect Balon knows that his son’s loyalty wavered more than it should have, and will continue to give him inconsequential duties.

Caravan to the Wall

The episode then comes full circle and back to the Starks. A sleepless Arya sharpens a blade when Yoren plops down in front of her for a heart-to-heart. If Tyrion is the epicenter of the show’s humor and political savvy, Arya is the heart and soul, for me. So when she asks how Yoren is able to sleep after having seen such terrible things my heart started to melt. Though as Yoren reminds her, she never saw her father get executed (he shielded her pretty well) she saw all their faces. She saw the aftermath. She saw the savage glee of Joffrey and the devastation of her sister. Yoren tells a story of how his own losses have affected him. He speaks of a handsome boy Wilhelm, who stabbed his brother in the heart at his doorstep. He admits how that good-looking face had haunted him many nights. But then one day, Wilhelm strolled back into town and so Yoren buried his axe in his skull. Immediately after, he was led to the Wall. It’s not a strikingly touching story, nor a comforting one, but if I’m Arya, I take it as motivation. The opportunity to avenge her father will come, if she’s ready for it; however, she must be certain that’s the life she wants, because there’s no going back.

His speech is interrupted then by the returning City Watch. As Yoren sweetly describes, “There’s men out there who want to fuck your corpses.” He cuts down a few of them fearlessly, even shrugging off the hit of a crossbow (“I always hated crossbows. Take too long to load!”) before he’s ambushed and gutted. Like the courageous protector he is, he dies kneeling upright, until they kick him down. Arya’s captured in the subsequent scrum and her attackers use her precious sword, Needle, to finish off a lame youth. The newly rounded up are then grilled about who among them goes by Gendry. They’re of course in search of the sole living bastard of Robert Baratheon. Arya quickly devises a way to save her friend, by asserting that they already hit their target when they just murdered that boy who couldn’t walk. Since he was holding Gendry’s self-crafted helmet, they’re none the wiser. Now she and the real Gendry are headed back toward the capital as prisoners where they’ll be held at the allegedly cursed castle, Harenhaal. That probably won’t be awesome though, right? Oh wait, it absolutely will be.

While Tyrion earns his title by luring the rats from their holes, Arya must weasel her way out of one. Dragonstone goes unseen this week, but Stannis’ little bro surges on with his own wicked woman beside him. And let’s not forget that Theon and Daddy dearest (and his sister/accidental lover) take to the seas to surprise “brother” Robb. It’s throughly impressive how well this ever-thickening plot has taken shape. The pieces are on the board, they’re making moves and traps are being set. But with fluid definitions of king, queen, knight and pawn developing, don’t expect the rules to apply. As Varys advised Tyrion, power is just a trick, a shadow on the wall, that depends on where men believe it resides (an apt metaphor for religion as well). After all, in a realm where the dead may never die and the incomprehensible threatens from its farthest corners, what can you possibly believe to be certain?

For an epic ending sequence with blood spilled and hope lost, and an equally satisfying warring of wits—whether it’s Tyrion’s trickery or Margery’s manipulation— I’ll provide one sure answer. When I gaze upon the Westeros universe, I see expert juggling of an overflowing ensemble, engaging yet dense writing, and five radiant stars.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

Arya (Maisie Williams) and Gendry (Joe Dempsie) try to keep a low profile as the City Watch searches for them.

Any given “Game of Thrones” episode is chock-full of resonating material. Despite its medieval setting, a familiar undercurrent of gender dynamics, power, class structures, honor and nobility, political mistrust, and family all cross the temporal gap. These themes amplify our intrigue illuminating the modern truths within the fictional Westeros. But while these issues offer dimension and texture, they’re often pushed to the back burner as the plot dominates our curiosity and captures our imagination.

This week differed in that no party advanced much further towards their goal of seizing the Iron Throne, and mostly only talked about what needed to be done. Despite this stagnancy though, the episode was thematically unified. From North of the Wall to The Iron Islands, from Dragonstone to King’s Landing, their struggles shared the common thread of adjustment to new environments. Whether it’s Theon returning to his homeland of Pyke, Stannis giving himself to a new God, or Tyrion trying to learn from Ned Stark’s mistakes as the new Hand to the King, all of them saw their worlds shaken. And how they handle their change in station will determine how well they can survive the impending winter—in the literal and figurative sense.

Last week’s trek around the realm worked well, so let’s continue our quest. This week saw the introduction of The Iron Islands and most of the focus was spent on King’s Landing and Dragonstone, but we checked in on Arya and her Caravan to the Wall, Jon and Samwell beyond the Wall, and we mourned a bloodrider in The Red Waste with Daenerys.

Caravan to the Wall

We ended last week with Arya and Gendry hitching a ride on the wagon to the Wall. Gendry escaped his fate of slaughter after Joffrey ordered the execution of all of Robert Baratheon’s bastards. Arya is also on the lamb from the most slap-able face in the Seven Kingdoms—she is the Lannister’s would-be leverage in a trade for Jamie. She’s doing her best to blend in as a boy, but despite her heckling of criminals and brash banter she isn’t fooling Gendry. She fervently denies until Gendry asks her to “pull out [her] cock for a piss.” Obviously when she doesn’t comply his suspicions are confirmed, but he is shocked when she tells him she belongs to House Stark.

Mortified for speaking a Lady with such vulgarity he apologizes, but Arya isn’t interested in his pleasantries and pushes him to the ground for using her proper title “Milady.” We’ve known that Arya rejects a destiny as wife to a powerful Lord, and her father even encouraged her to train in sword fighting, but we’ve yet to see how she can handle real combat. Sure she stabbed some oaf who tried to hand her over to the Joffrey the Jerk, but she needs to prove herself beyond taking first blood. I have a hunch that the closer the caravan gets to the North and Castle Black the more her gall will be tested, and I know I’m rooting for Arya to transcend the expectations of Westerosi womanhood and become a revered soldier.

Yoren also gets a badass spotlight as he wards off a couple Gold Cloaks (the colloquial term for men of the City Watch in King’s Landing) who are sent on orders to apprehend Gendry. Quicker to the draw, he aims the pointy end right at the knight’s crotch and threatens him to turn around or bleed out from his man parts. The watchman chooses wisely and rides off, promising to return with more men so that he can leave with Yoren’s head. Something tells me his wish won’t be granted and Yoren will get the last laugh.

King’s Landing

My man Tyrion takes care of business this week, trying to stake his claim as a formidable member of the court. Varys discovers that Shae has accompanied Tyrion to the capital against his father’s wishes, but Tyrion does not react kindly to the eunuch’s veiled threat. Peter Dinklage delivers some gems this week, chief among them the much-quoted posturing from the TV spots, “I am not Ned Stark, I understand how this game is played.” And when Varys asserts that Ned Stark was a man of honor, Tyrion simply rebukes, “And I am not.” Despite his stature, Tyrion’s words sting like a blade and it channels the underdog in all of us. As the title credits suggest, Tyrion is the star of this season, and although his morals are planted in unstable earth, we’re all hoping he uproots the status quo.

Meanwhile, Cersei is still undeterred by Robb Stark and his conditions for surrender. She rips up the letter her cousin delivers and tells him to deliver back their non-reply. She also declines to aid the Night’s Watch by providing more manpower as she believes the talk of white walkers is unfounded. We as the audience know better, so it will be a nice bit of zombie karma when she’s bitten in the ass.

Tyrion continues to undercut the Queen regent’s authority by replacing Janos Slynt as commander of the City Watch. Though he’s asking for trouble, you can’t blame him considering that Janos betrayed the last two Hands to the King. He inserts his personal guard Bronn into the role, but I can’t help but wonder how loyal Bronn is. Though he has developed an affection for the imp and his silver tongue, he’s easily bought. When Tyrion asks him point blank if he would murder an infant on his orders without question (as Janos did for Joffrey) he responds, “Without question? No. I’d ask, how much?” Good to know where he stands, but can you really trust a man whose loyalty is first and foremost to gold? I suppose since Tyrion belongs to the richest family in Westeros it’s a non-issue, but this still might be troubling Tyrion.

When Cersei gets word of Tyrion exiling Janos to the NIght’s Watch she’s infuriated by his insubordination. But Tyrion diminishes the Queen’s methodology of leadership. “You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead.” Cersei’s retort cuts deeply though, as she compliments Tyrion for being funny, but reminds him that his entire existence, killing his mother in childbirth and coming into the world a dwarf, is his greatest joke. It was unsettling to see someone else verbally slaying Tyrion for once. Maybe he’s not yet the wrecking ball we’re hoping for, but I bet that jab will serve as major ammunition in episodes to come.

The Iron Islands, Pyke

As promised, Theon Greyjoy sails his way home to request a fleet from his father, Balon. Robb will need a navy if he wants to sack King’s Landing. Though my grasp of Theon’s past was shaky last season we get a brief tutorial in the form of GoT’s infamous “sexposition.” This is when the writers unload backstory while the character is the act of intercourse with a prostitute. I mean if whores are good at anything, it’s listening, right? Basically, Theon has been held as a prisoner of war by the Starks after the Greyjoys rebelled against Robert to become a free nation. As a condition of their surrender they took Balon’s only male heir as insurance. Now after nine years away, he’s returning to his homeland, and when he arrives he seems to have been forgotten.

Although, one woman does appear to remember her Lord and offers him a ride to the castle on horseback. Thus begins the eepy-cray interaction where Theon hits on this woman hardcore, even groping her during the ride. Turns out he was pulling a Luke Skywalker and was putting the moves on…yup, his sister, Yara (Gemma Whalen). Balon (played with steeliness and menace by Patrick Malahide) has evidently replaced his son with his daughter, naming her commander of his powerful navy. She’s fought men, and killed men in the Greyjoy name, which is more than he can say for Theon who has fought alongside Robb and the Starks. Therefore, Theon holds little sway with his father, and Balon refuses to be handed his former crown as Lord of the Iron Islands and wishes to pay for it with “the iron price”—winning it in battle. it will be interesting to see the power struggle between Theon and Yara now as he tries to gain back his father’s favor. But how can he ever be seen as a Greyjoy when he has called Robb brother?

Dragonstone

Another aspiring king and his subjects also must cope with changing tides, as Stannis prepares to take on all comers, including his younger brother, Renly. We gain some more insight into the man who is Stannis’ right hand, Ser Davos Seaworth. Seaworth, a former smuggler, negotiates with pirate Salladhor Saan (played the first major black actor of the series, Lucian Msamati). Like Robb, Stannis will need a formidable navy if he wants to challenge the Lannister forces, and Salladhor can provide that. Davos promises all the Lannister gold and loosely promises the queen as well. Davos’ son, who has drank the Kool-Aid about Melisandre’s fire god, is appalled that he would treat a woman as a prize, but Salladhor cheekily observes, “The only true God is between a woman’s legs.” Kinda sketchy, but is he a pirate. Plundering is his thing. Davos also seems skeptical of Melisandre’s God, saying that the only loyalty he pledges is to men who win in battle. Therefore, Stannis is his God.

Davos might have reason to question his faith though as Melisandre asserts herself into Stannis’ inner circle. The fiery-haired priestess convinces Stannis that if he wants to better his odds in battle he must give himself completely to the Lord of the Light. Aggravated, Stannis complains that he’s already burned the idols and recited the chants, what else does he have to do? Well, apparently it please the Lord of the Light for him to make love to his prophet on his war room strategy table. And as the wooden ships fall to the floor, you can’t help but chuckle at the obvious metaphor that Stannis’ military prowess will diminish now that he’s been seduced by not only Melisandre but her faith as well.

The Red Waste

Things are looking bleak for our Queen of the Dragons as she and her khalasar are wasting away in the desert waiting for word from her bloodriders. Just when Ser Jorah thinks he spots hope on the horizon, it turns out it is Rokharo’s horse returning with his bloodied head in a satchel. Jorah surmises that it must have been one of the khals sending a message that they do not approve of a khaleesi leading a khalasar. Daenerys promises to build him a grand funeral pyre so that his soul may pass to The Night Lands, the afterlife that gives the episode its title.

Beyond the Wall

Still lodging at Craster’s home, Samwell Turly admires his daughters as they walk away. He’s even bold enough to put the moves on one of them, Gilly, as the direwolf Ghost growls at her. She calls him brave and Samwell’s immediately smitten. He runs to Jon Snow and asks for his help in sneaking her out with the Watch. She fears for her child who will either be born a daughter and become another trophy wife, or be born a son and…well we’re asked to fill in the rest. Jon smartly replies that it would be impossible and too much of a risk considering they’ll need Wilding support going forward. However, the episode ends with Jon detecting a baby wailing in the night. When he goes to investigate, he sees a baby being sacrificed to a white walker by Craster himself. I figured sons were sacrificed, but that’s just about the coldest possible way to dispose of them. Then before he can turn back, he’s grabbed from behind by Craster and we’re left to mull of over the potential implications.

Across the Seven Kingdoms and elsewhere, friends and enemies alike are confronting their fates and staring death, a.k.a The Night Lands in the face. Some, like Stannis, are signing away their souls to mystical entities, some like Theon must prove to their House that they are worthy, and some like Arya and Gendry and Tyrion must prove that they have the wherewithal to use their unique set of skills in gaining the upper hand against the forces that oppose them. Who will be most equipped when winter comes? My instinct tells me it is whoever can inspire the most men to join their cause. As Tyrion tells Cersei, “her people” may not mean much to her, but it is through their adoration and allegiance that they can establish their legitimacy. Whether by the sword, or the tongue ,or by magic, whichever king has the most men backing him will win this epic clash. Though it may have cost Ned his life, honor is valuable currency in times of war. Tyrion recognizes this when he insults Janos, “I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.” The ability to win over hearts and minds seems to favor Tyrion, but already we see how quickly circumstances can change as pieces slowly begin to move along the board.

Despite a lack of forward momentum, this was another great episode including a cohesive message of adjusting to the changing political climates and superb writing—save some laughable “exposition”—that produced a ton of quotable material. The richest characters get richer, and new characters feel like old buddies as they swiftly change the game. For expanding the universe without getting bogged down in the details, GoT continues its ascendancy towards greatness.

Lord Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) returns and the realm is at war, with five kings competing in the "Game of Thrones."

Winter has come, my friends.

Now if you’re not already a rabid fan of this show or the series of books it’s based on, “A Song of Fire and Ice” by George R.R Martin, a reference such as that (a playful evocation of the motto of Winterfell) might confuse you. And while I would love to help usher in a new wave of fans to geek out with, this drama requires a commitment to the material like none before. Honestly, although I’m elated that HBO has stuck with it because of improbably good ratings, it shouldn’t be as successful as it is. Sprawling fantasy, as most understand it, is the realm for nerds with nothing better to do than pretend they are knights at the proverbial round table. But in 2011, ”Game of Thrones” helped alter that perception and revealed how badass swordplay, magic, and power grabbing could be.

David Benioff and D.B Weiss were tasked with bringing the elaborate vision of George R.R Martin to the small screen as Peter Jackson had done at the multiplex with J.R.R Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” (Wow, I’m just now noticing the R.R thing? An homage?). And it’s as daunting to take in as a viewer as it must be to translate such grandeur into 50-minute chances. But Benioff and Weiss don’t dumb down, nor do they handhold for anyone who missed the epic first season. And unfortunately neither can I. For the sake of space and regular sleep patterns, I won’t be able to recap what happened last year in thorough detail, though I will reference some pivotal events that occurred. So for those who are newcomers be weary of SPOILERS as we go forward. And for those who have read the source material, PLEASE do not reveal any plot elements not covered on the show in the comments. I have not read ANY of the books yet!

Now, with all that housekeeping out of the way, let’s dig in to the unrest in Westeros.

For those in the know, the events of this season are contained in Martin’s second book in the series, A Clash of Kings. There are five “kings” vying for the Iron Throne. The validity of each claim is for you to decide, but due to the rashness of the sitting king, Joffrey, the others have sprung into war to unseat him. Since there’s some new faces in the crowd, and we skip from location to location during the episode, we shall journey around the map here as well, to check in.

King’s Landing

At the capital, Joffrey is still the bloodthirsty, spoiled brat we left in season one. It’s his Name Day (a Westerosi version of birthdays) and for his amusement, his imposing personal guard, The Hound, is vanquishing knight after knight. Sansa, the poor soul, has to watch countless men slain after witnessing her father decapitated at the immature king’s behest not too long ago. But she politely watches the spectacle, dutifully responding to his whims with a “Your Grace” every time. She falls out of line once to save a knight’s life when the young bully orders his men to drown him in wine. She suggests that it would be bad luck to kill a man on his Name Day, and The Hound (who has shown pity for Sansa in the past) agrees. Therefore, the clumsy and tipsy knight is spared, but demoted to be Joffrey’s fool.

Much to my delight, Lord Tyrion returns from the battlefield (likely not from fighting, but from the battlefield nonetheless)! Arguably the lead of the show now that Sean Bean’s Ned Stark was offed, now Emmy and Golden Globe winner Peter Dinklage asserts himself from the jump, delivering nearly all the best lines. He immediately undercuts his nephew with quips like, “We looked for you on the battlefield, and you were nowhere to be found.” And when Joffrey defends himself with, “I’ve been here, ruling the kingdoms!” Tyrion sarcastically replies with, “And what a fine job you’ve done.”

He continues his tour of humiliation by interrupting a meeting of the the council where much to his sister (and Joffrey’s mother) Cersei’s dismay, their father, Tywin Lannister, has granted Tyrion the position of Hand to the King, while he commands the Lannister forces in battle. Tyrion assures her he only plans to advise the twerp, but we know that of all the self-minded brutes across the Seven Kingdoms, Tyrion is the trickiest to pin down when considering his motives. He berates his sister because they’ve lost track of the other Stark girl, Arya, who they could use when bargaining for their brother Jamie’s life. More on him later.

Winterfell

At the home country of the Starks, the young and newly crippled Bran is reigning Lord. Though he is as impatient as any child, he embodies the same honor his father possessed and seems to rule fairly with the aid of Maester Luwin. He continues to have prophetic dreams where he takes the form of his direwolf and his Wildling woman prisoner suggests there’s something special about them. You think? The only other note is that he notices a red comet streaking across the sky. He’s heard a rumor that it’s a symbol from the Old Gods of the blood spilt when his father was beheaded. But as he rides piggyback on the half-giant oaf, Hodor, the Wilding woman suggests it’s an indicator that dragons have returned, which even the youngster scoffs at. There haven’t been dragons for centuries! Which brings us to….

The Red Waste

Here we meet up with our favorite submissive Dothraki khaleesi, turned Queen of the Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen. With a loyal Dothraki hoard behind her, and Ser Jorah Mormont as her advisor, Daenerys treks across the hot, barren landscape hoping to stumble upon a civilization. She would also like some dragon food to feed her triplets, but the desert doesn’t seem to have any supermarkets. Can I just remark on how awesome it is that there’s a legitimate TV drama with CGI dragons? Sick nasty I say! Sick nasty! Anyway, Ser Jorah says they have to keep heading east otherwise to the south. “The Lamb People” will surely slaughter them. So she sends three loyal riders out separately in search of any friendly people who might be a tasty snack for her fire-breathing babies. And you know, if they have shelter that would be sweet too.

Something I picked up on too, Daenerys seemed to be making eyes at one particular rider, Rakharo. Yeah, I get that she’s vulnerable after her king hubby, Khal Drago, died from complications of a sword wound and black magic, BUT how long has she been mourning? I hope the grieving process is prolonged for at least a few more episodes before they inevitably get it on and actress Emilia Clarke is once again exposed. Because, why not?

North of the Wall

For a territory described with such dread last season, our first foray into the great unknown was mostly filled with whimsy. We meet the hilarious and hospitable master of incest, Craster (Robert Pugh) who provides the Night’s Watch with a resting place and some key intel. Our good friend and bastard son of Ned Stark, Jon Snow, is in search of his uncle Benjen Stark and has witnessed firsthand the return of the storied White Walkers, a sort of snow-covered zombie. Craster, when he’s not paranoid that one of the sex-deprived Men of the Black will have their way with one of his many daughter-wives, warns them that Mance Rayder, a deserter of the Night’s Watch has proclaimed himself King Beyond the Wall and assembled a formidable army. Then he makes some outlandish old man comment about how Jon Snow is prettier than most of his daughters and wonders if he has a “wet tw*t” between his legs. I’m not sure how I feel about this Westeros equivalent of a redneck, but I’ll admit that I laughed, and even mildly agreed with him that the Night’s Watch got the short end: a sexless life of service while he has a cozy cabin and all the girls he wants. Granted, they’re all his spawn and it’s creepy as all hell, but it’s a living, right? Yeah, no, it’s just wrong.

Dragonstone

Ou first new locale! And by proxy, the area that produces the most new faces. I’ll mention the few that are essential, according to experts of the books. Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane), is the BMOC (Big Man on Campus), and a legendary commander. He also fled his brother Robert’s kingdom and fled to this set of islands on the eastern side of Westeros. What little we gather is that he is a calculated, stoic, and precise man who bickers with his scribe over the wording of his letter of intent to the Seven Kingdoms. He refuses to call his deceased brother “beloved,” and though he’s an SOB, he insists Jamie Lannister still bear his title “Ser” since he is a knight after all. He has been informed by raven (the high-tech deliver system employed in these parts) that Ned uncovered the truth about Joffrey’s illegitimate right to the throne. Robert Baratheon is not his father, rather Jamie Lannister is! Making his mother Cersei his aunt-momma and Jamie his uncle-daddy, and we’re all puking in out mouths a bit. With this news, Stannis readies his troops to claim his title by birthright, according to rule of succession.

However, he may have a major roadblock on his own team in the seductive fire priestess, Melisandre. See, she worships neither the Old or New Gods, but some crazy other god, R’hllor. Now, I’m all for religious tolerance, but she has Stannis burning effigies of the Seven New Gods and pulling out a flaming sword. Then she dubs him Lord of the Light and his advisors are worrying that this chick may be the death of him. She’s Lady Macbeth with dark sorcery.

So his main man, Ser Davos Seaworth agrees with Maester Cressen that it might be time to pull the guy aside and tell him that this girl has changed him. But like most buddies, they don’t wanna piss off their pal. So Maester Cressen says, Hey, what if I just poison her? That will end this whole mess and we go back to how things were. Ehh, it ends up a failed suicide mission. Evidently, piety has granted the priestess imperviousness to poison. He bleeds out from his nose and perishes, and she stares into soul knowingly. And that’s the end of that mutiny! Her over-the-top line, “The night is dark and full of terrors, old man. But the fire burns them all away,” is spoken which such malice (The first part, “Night…terrors” is repeated by others throughout the episode) it frightened me to my core. She’s ruthless like Daenerys without needing sexual empowerment, and, well, all evil. Love it, and can’t wait to see what kind of mess she stirs up for Stannis during his conquest.

Robb Stark’s camp

We learn some important bullet points from our visit to the Northern bannermens’ campsite. Robb Stark, though he doesn’t fully trust the men he’s leading into battle, has won their loyalty and three consecutive battles. He taunts Jamie Lannister with this, saying, “It’s better than three defeats,” and leaves his humungous direwolf to play with him. He also makes his intentions clear to a Lannister cousin who will relay his terms to the enemy. 1. His sisters will be released into his custody. 2. The bones of his father will be returned to him and buried in the crypt below Winterfell along with the bodies of all who died in service to him. 3. The North shall be a free and independent country. If any of these terms are violated, “the South shall be littered with Lannister dead.”

Robb, whose propensity for leadership would surely make his dad proud (Oh Ned! You were so honorable, but so stupid! Sorry, I’m still mourning), has a couple alliances as options. Theon Greyjoy, ward of the Starks suggests aligning with his house, the Greyjoys since they have the naval fleet take take King’s Landing. This plan does not go over well with Robb’s mother and widow, Catelyn Stark who remembers their treason, though Robb points out that now they’re the rebels. Robb instead commands she butter up Renly Baratheon (the youngest brother of Robert) so that they might join forces. I’m itching to see Robb in battle after learning of his accomplishments, but for now this military strategy and politicking is tiding me over. All hail The King of the North!

Back to King’s Landing…

Oh boy. Well, Tyrion has brought his whore, Shae to the capital and she’s umm…enjoying the smells? I don’t know, she’s a peculiar prostitute. And the conniving Petyr Baelish almost talks himself into an execution when he mocks Cersei’s incestual relationship after she insulted his upbringing. Petyr had sniped that “Knowledge is power,” but with the City Watch under her command she strongly disagrees that “Power is Power.” She spares Baelish and assigns him to finding the escaped Arya Stark. But even her power has its limits. Her supplanting bites her in the ass a bit when she slaps Joffrey for insinuating that his father (well who he thinks is his father, Robert) slept around because she couldn’t satisfy him.

Afterwards, Joffrey reminds her that the transgression is normally punishable by death, putting Mom in her place. Then his rage boils over and he commands the systematic slaying of all his (supposed) father’s bastard children. Though off-screen, the gruesome rampage comes to a head when a whaling baby is sliced. It’s the sort of scene that may be “too-far” and it doesn’t help that it happens in a whore house surrounded by naked women, but this sort of brutality is the nature of the world. And though it’s fantasy, the rawness of it is just the sort of no-limits, dark perspective that sells right now. And I admit, I’m buying it.

Despite, as you can tell, an abundance of exposition the intrigue’s overwhelming. The episode ends on the image of the last remaining Baratheon bastard, Gendry, hitching a ride to the Night’s Watch where he’s been recruited. Tagging along is King’s Landing’s Most Wanted: Arya Stark, disguised as a boy, Ary, with the help of Night’s Watch recruiter, Yoren. It’s not a twist for those of us who saw season one’s finale, but we were spoiled last year with some awesome, climactic cappers. So while blood was shed, the blood of innocent children, I was left wanting just a bit more to grasp for next week, but damn if I’m not excited by the direction we’re headed. Whether it’s more of Peter Dinklage’s dangerous wit, expansion of the new characters, or some all-out, armor-clanging warfare, I know it’s gonna be epic.

For exploring every corner of Westeros and leading GoT fans into the “The War of Five Kings” chomping at the bit, I dub thee, season premiere, an A-. But just like the cutthroat games played in their realm, in my reviews…”You win or you die.”

Walter (Nick Nolte) watches in wonder as "Luck" astonishes us in the last leg of its first, and final, season.

Cue the Boyz II Men, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.”

“Luck” was dealt a bad hand. Granted, the worst hands belonged to those majestic brutes whose lives were prematurely taken. And I will mourn every horse, every race I never get to see. It was through those powerful, fluid strides that a cast of characters were galvanized into taking risks of all kinds. Loving, killing, betting, praying and the like. And it is those same beautiful horses that have caused the series to cease to be. This is okay with me, because the show would have been, quite obviously, nothing without them. And so with a mesmerizing crane of Pint of Plain’s neck hanging out his stall, looking towards something of interest we’ll never see, I look to a diminished future where there’s no “Luck,” and yet I feel damn lucky to live in a present with that same “Luck” in my past.

Can we at least find solace knowing that its last hour was well spent? Yes, indeed. But in terms of narrative, the equally stressful question is can this season’s finale stand-in for a series ender? In many ways, it can. Your satisfaction will mostly depend upon your definition of resolution.

Mike and his cohorts still loom large over Ace and his dreams to buy the track, but he’s repairing his relationship with grandson, Brent, and opening up his heart to Claire. Our Four Amigos are rich once again with Marcus still the cynic and Jerry still a gambling addict, but both are keeping their tendencies in check. Walter? He holds onto his beloved horse, awaiting the next big race where Gettin’ Up will avenge the photo finish loss at the Western Derby. Escalante’s child dies in utero, but he holds Jo close anyhow as she becomes his family now—the one he only recently found out he wanted. Leon still has weight to lose before he can return, Rosie’s on top of the world, and Ronnie Jenkins falls just short, but hopefully not any further into his prescription pill abuse. Oh, and Joey’s still an agent searching for friends as vigorously as he is clients. In short, their world goes on without us, brimming with would-be’s and coulda-been’s, but whatever comes they’ll share in it. Because “Luck” prefers to view life as one big wager, and we’ve all put our contribution into the pot. And what we come out with will depend on how willing we are to throw our hearts in as well.

It’s peculiar that an HBO drama would end with such promise for what humankind can accomplish together. When the channel’s proudest products signed off with the (likely, never proven) death of its tragic mafioso (The Sopranos), and the continuing stranglehold of bureaucracy and the drug trade on an American city (The Wire), faith in tomorrow seems curious. But despite the avalanche of tension preceding the finish line, that’s how we cross it.

That menacing build-up began with the sudden appearance of Ace’s elusive grandson. Pain overtakes his face as he sees his loved one entering a world where his adversaries would love nothing more than to strike at his heart for striking at their wallets. The kid believes it was Gus who forwarded him a plane ticket to catch his gramp’s horse in the Western Derby, but it was Mike Smythe (Michael Gambon). Ace reacts with fear and anger by boarding up Brent in his penthouse, telling him he can watch the race on TV. From thereon, it’s a suspense-filled game of Dodging Death, as Gus helps him maneuver around his routine without being a sitting duck for hitmen. It’s a wonderful stroke of genius to include how Ace elects to continue with his schedule, despite how it will play into their hand, because of how it would disturb the balance he’s achieved in his life. And for the most part, the routine is not compromised. Through slight of hand, and one grueling, hand-to-hand Gus murder, Ace is able to slip by as his “guys” dispose of their “guys” and he makes it to the track. Dustin Hoffman plays the worn man well, showing how staying alert takes its toll, and further emphasizes the shift when at the end he’s at peace with his grandkid, even though the war with Mike rages on.

As far as the climactic races go, they’re both as gorgeous and enthralling as ever. The pre-Derby affair where our degenerate quartet (and guests! Renzo invites his mom, and Marcus invites his doctor) bet a considerable amount on their horse, entrusting Rosie to bring that bacon home. As usual, their win comes as no surprise, but it doesn’t detract from any allure. Thanks to Escalante’s muttered pointers in the stands, we witness the science of jockeying more precisely than before. It becomes clear that it’s all about windows of opportunity, just like bets and wagers themselves. If you don’t use the lane you’re given to bust out, then someone else will. And fortunately, Rosie breaks to the outside at the exact right moment and it allows her to come out the victor by a couple lengths.

But with no insult to the lovely Rosie and her triumph (I just adore how grateful she is just to be riding. When she wins, it feels like a reward for a good heart as much as a good rider), the race that follows is the best the show has done—ugh, I guess, did. The first truly neck-and-neck finish engineered the most excitement, and continued the strategic bent of the first by putting us in the POVs of the two trainers unleashing their game plans underneath their breath. Both, in order to lessen the agony, declare they probably just missed. There has to be a winner though, and Gus’ Pint of Plain comes out on top. Gus shouts out his tried and true motto: “Greatest f**king country in the world!” holding his trophy under his arm.

The elation is undercut somewhat when Brent shows up, disobeying his grandpa’s request. The trembling panic in his voice as he tries to whisk him away from open space to “where the people are” stopped my heart as I hoped against hope that he would go unharmed, as Mike observes from his box seats, “The primal, primitive scurrying.” Thank God, the kid suffers no consequence, but Milch and director Mimi Leder were masterful in creating and “anything goes” type of atmosphere. Also, credit the long-term effects of characterization. We know little overall about what Mike, Ace and the rest have done in the past, but through Ace’s borderline rage and phrases like Gus’ “Remember that one time in Chicago,” we know that Dodging Death has been their business for some time, and they’re grizzled veterans by now.

As I mentioned in a previous review, “Luck” can at its finest be a “symphony of evocative notes.” And as the minutes waned on this overwhelming, emotive masterpiece I found my heart hurting, knowing that those chords were being struck for the last time. There was the threatening implications of a somewhat innocuous conversation between Ace and Mike before the race, “Great gift, the ability to adapt. Do you feel it all diminishes, as time begins to reel us in? Then there’s Walter and Escalante, exchanging sincere congratulations on a helluva race. Walter promises the same next time around and I audibly moaned, “Noooo,” because we won’t get to be there. Also there’s the celebratory barbecue. Our Four Amigos, who only seemed tenuously bonded by circumstance and convenience, rejoice in their impenetrable friendship that survives ruthless taunting and addiction recovery to become possibly the grandest accomplishments of the show. Admittedly, I looked down upon these scoundrels, these railbirds. They seemed like parasites, festering wounds of a dying sport, hoping to soak up what little they could. But by the end, they became agents of their own destiny. They became a team of inspired spectators that are part of the dream instead of just wishing. They plan on buying a house with many hot tubs and stereos, and Jerry showers Naomi with hundreds as she’s sprawled out naked on his bed. It’s a cheesy, almost hip-hop image of success, but these perennial bottomfeeders deserve the glee of even the most cliched indulgences. If there were any folks you could latch onto as an everyman viewer, it was them.

There’s no mistaking who the star was though. Chester “Ace” Bernstein was the soul of the show. A battered ex-con, looking to turn his life into something worth taking pride in. Despite not fully ridding himself of the ghosts that haunt him—the Smythes, and DiRozzis, and Cohens of the world are still operating on the impulse to bulldoze the track and replace it with tract housing, crushing Ace’s aspirations of bringing interest back to the sport and glory of horse racing—there’s reason to be believe he can escape his past. Pint of Plain is now a Derby winner, and we see Ace stick his neck out by promising that he’ll be for Brent what he could have been. He changes the meaning of “luck” (lowercase intended) for me. He commits to seeing through the hand he’s dealt. He asks tenderly, “You feeling lucky, kid?” and it transforms the complexion of the show. In the beginning it was greed-driven, these men were invariably obsessed by their pursuit of “more.” But “more” does have an apex, it’s a loving home filled with those you care about. And if that’s the melody I’ll be humming when Milch the conductor signals it’s a wrap, I’m content. There’s nothing more life-affirming than you can have it all if you simply take a chance and open yourself up to the possibility of an almost impossible feat. Not a life of riches, but the richness of life.

It’s true what they say, the good die young. And this youngin’ passed away still vital. I’d like to think I knew what I had before it was gone, but I didn’t realize until about four episodes in how much I, nay we, needed a show like this. I spoke with my father yesterday and he talked about how he’s loved the developments of post-9/11 entertainment. The environment is shrouded in darkness, it’s grittier, and we’re embracing the evil that could always be surrounding us. And while this vigilance has made us paranoid, it’s made us hold onto what is good. And though not everything’s coming up roses, there’s something beautiful blossoming on the micro level that’s just as delicate a flower: family, friends, true love. They still exist, even when the foundations of our society crumbles all around us, it’s not the end as long as human connection is possible. And in “Luck’s” universe, your odds aren’t great, but we aren’t alone in that struggle. And ultimately, we walked away knowing that to some degree, everyone could sustain happiness. Ace and Gus eyed the feed of the camera they installed and the goat, the one with pumpkin size-nuts, strolls into the barn after they thought it had gone missing. Horses, though they’re still foreign and strange compared to our conceptions of being, too delight in the comfort of normalcy, depending on the day-to-day. “Luck” left me with hope that if that goat will always return, then so can my faith in people.

For that reassurance, and for providing gorgeous, compelling, well-written human drama in a world that would be a pleasure to hangout in beyond the constraints of the small screen, I congratulate “Luck” on a helluva race. But just because it’s over, that doesn’t mean we’re done.* So this isn’t goodbye. It’s more like Walter said, “More of the same next time?”, a prayer to the TV gods that they’ll honor the memory of these graceful deceased, as well as the achievements of the show, and will bring us a precious offspring just like it, real soon.

*For anyone interested, I’ll be reviewing “Game of Thrones,” another HBO drama based on George R.R Martin’s fantasy book series, “A Song of Fire and Ice,” starting next week!

Host Ricky Gervais shrugs after slamming many of his acting peers at the 2012 Golden Globes.

The Golden Globes are often diminished by critics for not having its finger on the pulse. Many films and TV shows that have no business winning awards are honored for being popular and legitimized as part of the zeitgeist. In retrospect, I suppose this assessment is fair. Though often times, they get it right, and the Oscars do not. Why just last year “The Social Network” beat “The King’s Speech” for Best Drama and then the latter usurped the former for the Best Picture Oscar. We could certainly pigeon hole both award shows and dub The Globes a popularity contest and the Oscars the politics of the industry, but that would be unfair to the dedicated performers and artists to devalue these tributes to their talent. Sure, I can lay back on my bed and scorn the voters for their lack of vision, and claim it a blight on the history of storytelling and performance. Host Rickey Gervais did as much with this controversial analogy: “The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton…one’s a little trashier…a little drunker…and a little more easily bought, allegedly.” But in the end, despite the biting wit of the always quotable comedian, these folks will still have more hardware atop their mantles.

If you are unfamiliar, the Globes are unique in that they honor the past year’s exceptional artistic achievements in TV and movies. In the TV categories, “Homeland,” the breakout hit that pits a bipolar renegade CIA operative against a former POW turned terrorist sympathizer (and my favorite new show) nabbed the big award for Best TV Series – Drama. Also capitalizing on the success of Showtime’s critical darling was the magnificent (and totally deserving) Claire Danes who plays that loose cannon federal agent who will push any boundary, whether ethical, social, or legal, to catch the bad guy and prevent another mass tragedy. She graciously accepted the third Golden Globe of her career for Best Actress in a TV drama. In the Best Actor in a TV Drama category, a seasoned TV vet won for a new role and likely shocked the  viewing public and certainly most critics. Kelsey Grammar took home the gold for his role in Starz rookie drama series, “Boss,” as Tom Kane, the mayor of Chicago, who is concealing his recently diagnosed neurological disorder that could ruin his political career. After a masterpiece fourth season, Bryan Cranston would have been a superlative choice for his role as a family wrapped up in the evils of the meth trade in “Breaking Bad.” And after him both Steve Buscemi of “Boardwalk Empire,” and Damian Lewis (my personal choice) of “Homeland” both garnered countless praise in the past year for their captivating roles. I have not caught any of “Boss” yet, so Grammar may have been just as noteworthy. Nonetheless, in a year filled with mesmerizing performances, most prognosticators felt the other three mentioned were superior.

Rounding out the acting awards, Peter Dinklage added another Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini-series or TV Movie trophy to his collection (he won the Emmy in the same category last fall) for his captivating portrayal in the high-fantasy, HBO epic “Game of Thrones.” Another new cable favorite, FX’s American Horror Story saw one of its stars, Globe Hall-of-Famer (five-time winner), Jessica Lange win Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini-series or TV Movie. For yet another starling turn, Kate Winslet of earned herself the Best Actress in a Mini-series or TV Movie award for her part in HBO mini-series, Mildred Pierce  and former “The Wire” great, Idris Elba was justly recognized for his arresting presence on “Luther” with Best Actor in a Mini-series or TV Movie. 

The Hollywood Foreign Press also deemed Matt LeBlanc of “Episodes”  and Laura Dern of “Enlightened.” two of the funniest performers of the past year by bestowing unto them the awards for Best Actor in a TV Series – Musical or Comedy and Best Actress in TV Series-Comedy respectively. Also, in a mildly turn of events, “Modern Family,” was finally honored with the Best TV Series – Musical or Comedy after being stiffed the past two years while winning the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series, both years, just seven months later. “Glee” had been the recipient those two previous years, but after what some would consider a creative slump for the series, it really shouldn’t be shocking that the clearly beloved ABC sitcom finally got its due from the Hollywood Foreign Press. PBS’ in-depth examination of class relations at the turn of the century had no trouble snagging the Best TV Mini-series or Motion Picture made for Television statuette.

For the cinephiles, it was a night of high regard for many prestige pictures, but the silent, black-and-white throwback “The Artist,” that shone the brightest among the flashing bulbs, winning 3 awards including Best Motion Picture – Comedy. The film’s score, arranged by Ludovic Bource, nabbed Best Original Score, and the charismatic Frenchman Jean Dujardin accepted the Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical. Biting at their heels, however, was the Alexander Payne-directed family drama, “The Descendants,” which received 2 awards including Best Motion Picture – Drama. Its star, or rather superstar George Clooney continued to be adored by fans and critics by accepting Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama. Familiar female faces earned the remaining major acting awards, perpetual nominee Meryl Streep and starlet Michelle Williams were both lauded for their iconic roles. Streep secured her Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama award for her dead-on transformation into former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, in “The Iron Lady,” and Williams’ immersion in the role of sex symbol Marilyn Monroe had voters swooning and proclaiming her Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy.

In the supporting categories, The Help’s Octavia Spencer struck gold for her portrayal as a strong-willed maid in what seemed like a given victory in the Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. For the men, oldie but a goodie, Christopher Plummer humbly accepted his Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture trophy. Industry favorite Martin Scorsese topped the Best Director in a Motion Picture category, beating out many worthy opponents for his expertly crafted family adventure, Hugo. Another universally beloved director and admired screenwriter, Woody Allen penned the Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture, as well.

And I would be remiss to mention that the astounding, and always commanding Morgan Freeman was the recipient of the Cecil B. DeMille, Lifetime Achievement Award. Handed to him by former recipient, Sidney Poitier, Freeman was beaming as he basked in the glory of his many classic roles, while crediting every single one of his former castmates for blessing him with all the fun he has had of the course of his legendary career.

For a complete list of the award winners, click here.

And Blast readers, don’t forget to voice your opinions in the comments section! Share with us your insights on who was robbed, who deserved their accolades, and what performances/shows/films were overlooked and absent on the ballot.

Momoa is said to have a nude sex scene in his new show

“Stargate Atlantis” co-star Jason Momoa has landed a role in the pilot for a possible HBO fantasy drama called “Game of Thrones,” according to GateWorld.

GateWorld reported that Momoa told fans at the Armageddon Expo in Australia that he got the role, and the Chicago Tribune later confirmed it.

The HBO series is based on the “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels by George R. R. Martin. The book is a planned seven-part series, with four of the books published so far.

In the pilot, Momoa will play Khal Drogo, a wealthy and powerful warrior and horse lord.

The show will also star lena Headey, (“Sarah Connor Chronicles”) Sean Bean, and “New Moon” actress Jamie Campbell Bower (Caius in “New Moon”).

GateWorld also says that Momoa will have a nude sex scene in the show, which female fans will be sure to appreciate.

The series is expected to premiere sometime in the next two years.