Kim and Kris on October 22 in Las Vegas (WireImage).

It was the shock heard ’round the world: Kim Kardashian files for divorce. Boom! Immediately after the news hit, the internet was aflutter with talk about what went wrong and the lessons we mere mortals could take away from their connubial downfall. I’m going to hop on that bandwagon and offer my perspective.

1. Don’t always believe what you see and therefore don’t envy what you see

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple” – Oscar Wilde

Hollywood is full of deception. One such falsehood it perpetuates is the perfect, fairytale relationships of its celebrity inhabitants, the endless coverage of which is at once addictive and nauseating: Hollywood lovers on perfect dates, wearing perfect clothes, on perfect vacations, looking perfectly. They gush about each other in magazine interviews and mug happily for the paparazzi. What glamorous lives, what gorgeous couples – they must all be so perfectly happy! It isn’t long, though, before we’re shaken from our delusional daydreams by the words “irreconcilable differences.”

Hollywood’s not the only architect of artifice. The advent of social media gives us all the ability to create these illusions, in just a few clicks of a mouse no less. Facebook is one of the worst offenders, a veritable avatar for perfect lives and perfect weddings and perfect homes and perfect children who never cry and always look like little darlings. (I liken these saccharine displays of social chest-puffing to the Class Notes section of my alma mater’s alumni magazine, in which my classmates – who are either on the brink of curing cancer or on the path to becoming the next Supreme Court Justice or are popping out kids with wild abandon – have an uncanny ability to make me feel completely inadequate.)

And so it’s not just celebrity couples who we come to falsely envy for their supposed perfect, picturesque relationships. We do this with everyday couples all around us. We build them into things they’re not, and wonder if our own relationships measure up. The truth, though, is that we should never believe what we see – we’re not privy to what goes on behind closed doors in other people’s relationships. We don’t know if a couple has constructed a facade of sparkles and rainbows in order to hide the fact that they may in fact be struggling. I learned that valuable lesson a few years ago when, out at a bar, I saw a man I knew all over some woman, who just so happened wasn’t his wife. But what about the ad nauseum pronouncements of their perfect love; what about that fabulous vacation they just took, in which they looked so mind-numbingly happy? I had been so envious of what I thought they had when in reality it was an illusion.

It’s easy to be envious of others, to covet what they have – or what we think they may have. Quite often, though, those seemingly perfect couples have issues. Case in point: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, or the couple on Facebook you’ve been admiring. Making comparisons to other couples is pointless and unproductive. And doing so doesn’t get us anywhere closer to being happy within our own relationships.

Focus on and treasure what you have with your partner; celebrate what’s great about your relationship.

2. Fools Rush In

“Marry in haste; repent at leisure.” – William Congreve

I know what you’re going to say: You heard a story about your friend’s brother’s painter’s lawyer’s doctor’s proctologist’s veterinarian, who married her husband six months after meeting him. But here’s the deal: That’s not going to happen to you. OK, maybe it will. But the odds are against it and there are plenty of reasons, anyway, as to why you should wait. I have no doubt Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian fell in love (and major lust!) with each other, but there was hardly any way for the two of them to know, after six months of dating, especially given their lifestyles, if it was the type of love that could last for the long haul. They barely knew each other. They had no history together to be able to say: “We know we can get through something difficult as a couple because we already went through x, y, and z together.” While I’d like to think just being in love can get you through the worst of times, realistically speaking, I think you need to experience a few downs with someone to know if that love has long-term potential.

Just recently, Kim Kardashian released a statement regarding the demise of her relationship: “I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed into something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have.” This appears to be a classic example of someone wanting something so desperately that they’re not even sure what they’re signing up for. They have the end goal in sight but aren’t thinking rationally about the present moment. Had she put the reins on the relationship a bit and experienced a longer courtship, perhaps she would have realized (before spending the GDP of a small, third world nation on her wedding) that Kris Humphries wasn’t the right person for her. Hindsight is always 20/20.

3. Beauty doesn’t bring relationship happiness

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” – Hedy Lamarr

Kim Kardashian may be one of the most preternaturally beautiful creatures in existence (that hair, those eyes, those cheekbones!), and Kris Humphries may be an Adonis in his own right, but as the erudite Yoda would say: “A happy relationship that does not make.” It can be hard not to be just a tad bit envious of someone so stunning; when you realize, though, how little beauty means in terms of personal contentment envy becomes a much easier pill to swallow.

The most beautiful people might even have it the toughest: Do their mates truly love them for who they are at their very core, or do they just want them for that shiny, delicious-looking exterior? I remember Kim Kardashian saying something early on in her infatuation with Kris Humphries, before even meeting him, about wanting to have his babies on account of his good looks. While that kind of a comment makes for a good tweet, it smacks of superficiality. Sure, it’s important to be attracted to your mate, but it’s equally as important to be reminded that a relationship based primarily on a person’s hotness quotient is a precarious tightrope to walk.

4. Money doesn’t buy relationship happiness

“While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” – Groucho Marx

It’s also hard not to be envious of Kim Kardashian’s lifestyle, until we realize that it’s actually quite easy. With millions of dollars coming in and the glitz and glamor of a relationship between an NBA star and a not-sure-why-exactly-you’re-famous star, we were fooled (once again) into believing the fairytale. Then, divorce ensues, the veil of perfection is lifted, and we are reminded (once again) of the false promises of money. Sure, it may make life easier in certain ways, if we have a lot of it, but it can never fill emotional voids. Take the majority of Bravo’s Housewives: Despite gobs of money coming out their surgically enhanced wazoos, most of them seem pretty miserable.

5. Know thyself

“Observe all men; thy self most” – Benjamin Franklin

Let’s refer back to the aforementioned quote Kim Kardashian gave about her desire for babies and family, a sentiment I’ve heard her make countless times before. These declarations certainly make for good interview soundbites and TV footage, but unfortunately, her actions and choices in her love life don’t seem to ever match her words.

In my early to mid-twenties I was guilty of doing the same thing. I’d continually squawk about wanting to settle down and my desire for intimacy, yet the only type of men I went for either lived far away or were commitmentphobes. I’d complain and cry and stomp my feet, always blaming everyone else for my relationship woes, everyone but myself – it was easier to pass the buck than look inward at my own issues. In retrospect, I don’t think I was at all ready for real intimacy during this period of my life. There’s a great book I read during this tumultuous time, titled “He’s Scared; She’s Scared” by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol. One of the ideas they focused on was “passive avoidance,” the notion that people passively avoid commitment by pursuing unavailable mates. It was pretty incisive.

I have no idea what Kim’s issues really are; however, I do know that saying you want the trifecta – love, commitment, and family – doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready for it or that it’s even deep down what you actually want or that you know how to get there. Take some time to figure yourself out; when you have a better understanding, you’ll be in a position to make better choices.

6. For the love of God, exercise some monetary discretion

“Spending 10 million dollars on your wedding is stupid.” – Neely Steinberg

Enough said.

Perez Hilton, arguably the most famous blogger in the world, is known for his juicy celebrity gossip, the crude “graffiti” he puts on pictures of celebrities (What’s that white stuff dripping from Lindsay Lohan’s mouth?), his crazy sense of style and his wacky hair, so naturally his next career move would be to write a children’s book, right? Hilton, dubbed a “bully” by some of his celebrity targets, has paired up with illustrator Jen Hill in his book, “The Boy with Pink Hair,” to be published in September 2011 by Celebra Children’s Books.

“I am so proud of ‘The Boy with Pink Hair,’ its important message and the creativity and the passion of the author delivering it–Perez Hilton,” said Raymond Garcia, publisher of Celebra Children’s Books, in a statement. “‘The Boy with Pink Hair’ is a defining story about how believing in yourself and following your aspirations can not only bring out the best in you, but also in those around you.  With fun, colorful and endearing characters, Perez reminds readers that by simply accepting our differences we can find the things that unite us all.”

Perez Hilton at Logo's "NewNowNext" Awards in LA in 2010 (Media credit/J. Strauss, Wire Image)

The book tells the story of a boy born with (you guessed it) pink hair, who isn’t accepted by his peers because of his cotton candy-colored ‘do. He discovers what makes him special and other sugary things like that–a far cry from the content of Hilton’s own popular blog in which penises are drawn on people’s faces and dots of “coke” go up their noses.

Hilton, real name Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr., said in a statement, “I am absolutely elated about this book, which comes from a very dear and genuine place within me. While I can identify in many ways with The Boy with Pink Hair, he represents so much more.  This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved and make a difference.  Today, with this book, that’s exactly what I feel I have the opportunity to do.  I hope everyone can share in the spirit of a boy that only wants to bring some happiness to the world around him.”

It’s about time for an upbeat celebrity story, isn’t it?

It has been three months since “Dexter” front man Michael C. Hall announced his battle with Hodgkin’s lymphoma and that he was undergoing treatments for the illness.

Subsequent reports had him pegged as optimistic, describing his illness as "eminently treatable and curable". And today, we are happy to report that his wife, and “Dexter” co-star Jennifer Carpenter (pictured with Hall at right after his Golden Globe win) announced to the Associated Press that his treatments are finished, he has fully recovered and is safe to return to work.

Even if you aren’t a “Dexter” fan (Season 5 is rumored to be premiering on Showtime in September 2010), we’re sure you can appreciate his health success story. Congratulations to Hall on his recovery and much luck in the upcoming season.

Laura Saltman can dish it out. Whether she’s interviewing the stars for Access Hollywood, posting celebrity news on her blog A Dish of Salt, or discovering the next big thing in entertainment, Laura Saltman isn’t afraid to ask the juicy questions. And she does it all with a smile on her face and a light in her eyes. She’s bright, she’s funny, she’s passionate, and she really cares about the people she interviews.

Blast recently chatted with Access Hollywood’s celebrity reporter about rising stars, Glee, American Idol and her beloved dogs (a black lab and a beagle/spaniel mix). What do you ask someone who asks really cool people questions for a living? Well, you start with the really cool people.

BLAST: What is your favorite interview you’ve ever done?

LAURA SALTMAN: My favorite was with Hugh Jackman on the day it was announced he was People’s Sexiest Man Alive. I love Hugh Jackman. He gave a fantastic interview, and I think he’s drop dead gorgeous. But there was this controversy, with people at work saying "Hugh Jackman’s not the sexiest man alive!" So I came up with the 10 reasons why I love Hugh Jackman and why he should be the sexiest man alive. I had it framed, printed on nice paper, and I brought it to him at the interview. He absolutely went nuts for it, he thought it was the greatest thing ever. He was reading the whole thing and he couldn’t believe that I went through all this trouble! He told me he was going to put it in his man room, which is his version of the man cave in the basement. And I really believe that that is hanging on his wall in Australia right now.

BLAST: What were some of the things you put on the list?

LS: He man-scapes. The fact that he is still married and loves his wife. His masculinity, even though he’s played a gay man on Broadway. And I think one of the reasons was his chest. And because he’s a great interview and he always knows the right answer to give. He’s the best, such a sweetheart.

BLAST: What was your worst interview?

LS: My worst interview was Daniel Craig, which is ironic, since they’re currently starring on Broadway together. It was for the movie "Defiance." But he’s Bond, right? You’re going in, thinking he’s going to be suave, charismatic, sophisticated, so cool. I’d never interviewed him before and never met him, and I was expecting him to be Bond, and he was not Bond. He was just charmless. He was very matter-of-fact, and I could not get him to warm up to me. Of course I thought it was me! But then I asked other people about it, and they all said the same thing, that he’s just not the person you expect him to be. He’s a very serious actor, and he doesn’t play into all the Hollywood stuff. He just wants to be an actor, and that’s all. But he’s Bond! It surprised me.

BLAST: What’s it like interviewing someone who’s on a reality show, as opposed to someone who’s born and bred famous?

LS: To me it’s better because people who are on reality shows don’t have the agents, the managers, the publicists breathing down their neck, telling them every single word to say. It changes to much, they’re just being real. I would so much rather interview somebody who’s just being who they are than someone who’s already calculated what they’re going to say to me. I don’t like stuff like that. I would rather interview someone from American Idol, or one of the Bachelors, or even the celebrities from Dancing with the Stars, who have been knocked down a few pegs and are now doing the show trying to come back. I’d rather interview them because they’re less guarded than celebrities.

BLAST: Do publicists get in your way a lot? Are there a lot of canned responses?

LS: It’s become a bigger problem in our industry as the tabloids have taken over. You have to walk a fine line. I have to think, "If I were a celeb, would I want someone asking me that? What would I say back?" Some take it better than others. I’d rather have someone say to me "No comment" than just walk away. With Twitter, people are now getting ahead of the story. Like Jessica Simpson. There was a story about when she broke up with Tony Romo, and she went on Twitter and said "I’m doing ok, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine." So instead of the paparazzi hounding her to get the first response from her, she just went on Twitter and said how she was feeling. It took the paparazzi out of the picture.

BLAST: What’s it like to interview a rising star? I noticed you interviewed Lea Michele from Glee recently. What’s it like to interview someone like that, where you know that this is their first big break?

LS: It’s cool because you can see it in their eyes. You can see how excited they are for the interview. I was one of the first people on the set of Glee, and I could just see it—they had this glint in their eyes, they were so excited for Access Hollywood to be there. The great thing about Lea is that now that the show is so successful—I’ve seen her seven or eight times since the first interview—she still has that gleam in her eye. Lea, to me, is still excited, and I think she’s going to be a huge star.

BLAST: Any other young celebrities we should keep our eyes on?

LS: Today I interviewed Victoria Justice. She has a Nickelodeon show coming out called Victorious. It’s kind of like Fame, High School Musical, Glee… and she is drop-dead gorgeous. She was on Zoey 101, but she wasn’t the lead. Nickelodeon is really pushing her to be their next big star. She looks just like Nina Dobrev from The Vampire Diaries, so we actually talked about how people mistake them for each other. If the show does well, I think she’ll actually end up being a pretty big star.

BLAST: What’s your absolute favorite thing to report on?

LS: American Idol. I love it. I’ve been covering it since the very first season. I was interviewing some of the contestants from last season and Alexis Grace said to me that all the people from the last eight seasons of American Idol all know each other, and they all hang out. And I said it was so nice that they all stayed together, and she said, "Yeah we’re like a family, but we feel that you’re part of our Idol family too, because you’ve always been around and everybody knows you." She just made my day! I feel like I’m part of the American Idol family, and I would be devastated to not be a part of it anymore.

BLAST: Speaking of things we love, you interviewing Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica. What’s she like?

LS: She’s awesome! She’s one of my most favorite interviews. She is like a ball of energy, and she’s funny! You don’t expect that, because she’s Starbuck, right? You expect drama. I told her when she walked in, "I feel like you could totally kick my ass." I told her she could do a sitcom she’s so funny. Every time I asked a question she came up with this hilarious joke about it. I absolutely loved her. I surprised her by bringing in some of our fanboys who work at Access Hollywood, and she could not have been nicer to them. You can tell that she really loves the attention, and all these guys adore her. She’s great. Absolutely loved her.

BLAST: What first made you want to be an entertainment reporter?

LS: I was obsessed with celebrities. I just wanted to know everything about them. I was such a huge fan of movies and TV, and I was fascinated by the process of making TV shows. I’ve always said that I don’t want to be a star, I just want to interview them. It started when I was a little girl, because my parents put a TV in my room since the age of 7. My parents would make me go to bed at 9 o’clock, and there were certain shows that I wanted to watch, so I’d take the TV and I’d put it under my bed and watch it upside down, so they wouldn’t see the light. I’d hang over the edge of my bed and watch "Dallas" upside down! I’ve always wanted to do this.

BLAST: And now you have a great reputation as a no-holds-barred interviewer, and everyone takes you very seriously.

LS: It does get me in trouble though. (laughs)

BLAST: Do you have any words of advice for young people who want to do your job?

LS: Everyone told me I was never going to be what I wanted to be, it was too difficult, but I was still determined. If someone tells me no, I do the opposite, I prove them wrong. Now it seems like it’s a lot easier to get into because there’s so much media involved with celebrities and entertainment. Obviously you’ve got to go to school, but as soon as you’re out of school, you’ve got to get on these internet sites and become a writer. You don’t even have to live in LA now, as you know, to do this. You just have to meet the right people, get out there, start writing stuff, and learn as much as you can, meet as many people as you can. A lot of people that I’ve met have helped me meet someone else. So never say no to any job in entertainment, because you never know who can be your first stepping stone.

This Access Hollywood reporter knows how to do a good interview, no matter what side of the table she’s on. You can follow Laura Saltman on Twitter, or check out her blog.

While on an epic quest to discover the keys to creating successful web content and setting oneself up as an Internet star, Blast found two things: traditional media wishes it was as popular as online media, and our generation has little to no attention span.

Webisodes are hugely popular at the moment, and when Blast talked to Michael Buckley, from the “What the Buck Show,” Chris Hardwick, the host of the new G4 show “Web Soup,” and Christine Tse Kuecherer, from Take180.com, all three sources agreed that the success lies in the timing.

Take180.com creates Web series fed by viewer participation, like “Electric Spoofaloo,” but none are longer than 180 seconds. Christine Tse Kuecherer, Marketing Director at Take180.com, explained the reasoning for the time limit: “I think one thing we’re seeing with web video in general is that people may not have the long attention span that they might have with television. A great example is Hulu. They highlight Saturday Night Live skits and TV shows. That’s why we’re ‘Take180′ and nothing is over 180 seconds.”

The same concept applies to YouTube videos, and really any other content on the Internet. News ratings have plunged over the years, and it’s really no wonder why.

Michael Buckley blames the drop entirely on the Internet.

“I think people are just on their computers all day,” Buckley said. “They like to just read the little blurb, or they like to go online and see like a little one and a half to three minute video summary. They don’t want to watch thirty minutes, they just want ‘BAM BAM BAM.’ That’s what they want. Our attention span is so terrible anyway.”

While audiences don’t want to wait around to listen to all of the news, the web isn’t about to replace television as a whole any time soon. However, more and more television shows are beginning to produce their own webisodes and create extra content to keep their computer-loving viewers interested.

Kuecherer pointed out shows like “Heroes,” which have uploaded webisodes between regular episodes to keep fans coming back for more.

“TV is realizing that the web is a good way to get fans more interested “" they’re coming out with extra webisodes and back stories to create more interest,” Kuecherer said.

Buckley believes that TV will simply transform just a little more to cater to our culture’s growing need for speedy entertainment.

“Webisodes will probably be regular TV programming at some point,” he said. “The TV timeslots now are so strange, a lot of shows are like an hour and seven minutes or shows on cable channels are like 22 minutes, so I think that TV is going more the way of the web, and on demand. So I think it will definitely be an option to see five minute segments of all types of programming down the line.”

Television producers and writers have obviously noticed the trend, which can only explain the start up of a new spin-off of E!’s “The Soup” “" “Web Soup.” There’s enough interest in viral videos and webisodes online that now TV wants a piece of it too.

Chris Hardwick, tech expert and co-host of G4′s “Attack of the Show,” is now the host of the channel’s “Web Soup,” which is currently the top-ranked comedy podcast right now on iTunes.

Hardwick credits the web video craze to our culture’s descent into geekdom. “We’re coming back to that original definition of geek. A geek used to be a carnival performer who bit the heads of chickens and snakes, and now we’re back to where geeks put videos of themselves online where they’re biting heads off chickens and snakes. Geek culture is pop culture now. I had to suffer from it in grade school.”

And now he hosts his own show. “Take that, guy who stuffed me in a trashcan!”

“Web Soup” takes a critical look at viral videos and other random web hilarity out there with the intermittent appearance of guest celebrities like “Weird Al” Yankovic and the fill-in comedy sketch every now and then. The show won’t completely focus on videos, however.

“Someone had put a mixer online that was a soundboard of David Lee Roth,” Hardwick said. “If you can find it via the Internet, it’s fair game.”

Research from security firm McAfee shows that some celebrities are just dangerous to Google and search for around the web because of the litany of fake websites out there that try to infect your computer with viruses and malicious code as you innocently seek out wallpaper and screensavers of your favs.

Brad Pitt leads the pack on a list that includes Jessica Alba and‚ Katherine Heigl.

“Fans searching for “Brad Pitt,” “Brad Pitt downloads,” and Brad Pitt wallpaper, screen savers and pictures have an 18% chance of having their PCs infected with online threats, such as spyware, spam, phishing, adware, viruses and other malware,” McAfee said. “Cybercriminals are using A-listers’ names and images, like Beyoncƒ© and Justin Timberlake, to lure Internet users who surf the Web for the latest gossip, screen savers and ringtones to “fake” Web sites that look legitimate.”

The list includes:

1. Brad Pitt – When “Brad Pitt screensavers” was searched, more than half of the resulting Web sites were identified as containing malicious downloads with spyware, adware and potential viruses.

2. Beyoncƒ© – Inputting “Beyoncƒ© ringtones” into a search engine yields risky Web sites that promote misleading offers to gather consumers’ personal information.

3. Justin Timberlake – Interest in his high-profile relationships makes him an easy target for spammers and hackers. When searching for “Justin Timberlake downloads” one Web site advertised free music downloads that were flagged as directly leading to spam, spyware and adware.

4. Heidi Montag – “The Hills” star is a popular search term when it comes to searching for wallpaper. A host of wallpaper Web sites contained hundreds of malware-laden downloads.

5. Mariah Carey – Spammers and hackers are using Mariah Carey screen saver Web sites to link to other sites proven to contain spyware, adware and other threatening downloads.

6. Jessica Alba – Red-ranked risky sites were identified when searching for “Jessica Alba” and “Jessica Alba downloads.” The sites contained hundreds of malicious downloads, links to other bad sites, misleading offers to gather information, and a high number of spam emails when an email address was provided.

7. Lindsay Lohan – This young Hollywood starlet is as dangerous to search online as she is famous. Searching for “Lindsay Lohan downloads” resulted in several dangerous Web sites laden with hidden adware.

8. Cameron Diaz – Cybercriminals use download Web sites related to Cameron Diaz’s image to link to other harmful sites containing spyware.

9. George Clooney, Rihanna – The technology found one Web site embedded with hundreds of dangerous wallpaper and photo downloads after inputting “George Clooney downloads.” “Rihanna pictures” was also a risky search term, as McAfee identified a site that spammed its test email address.

11. Angelina Jolie – When “Angelina Jolie downloads” was searched, the software highlighted a risky site with 978 hidden malware-infected wallpaper and photo downloads, as well as links to other potentially dangerous URLs.

12. Fergie – A Fergie screen saver site was flagged as offering 111 risky downloads that could seriously compromise a PC’s privacy with unwanted spyware and adware.

13. David Beckham, Katie Holmes – The “David Beckham” search term generated a great deal of wallpaper and screen saver downloads veiled with malware. Consumers should also exercise caution when searching for “Katie Holmes” online – one download site advertised free screen savers that, if downloaded, would infect your computer with malicious programs like spyware.

15. Katherine Heigl – Hollywood’s big headliner in recent years is now susceptible to Internet lurkers too. “Katherine Heigl” was searched and a site was identified containing hundreds of malware-infected pictures.

‚ ”Cybercriminals employ numerous methods, yet one of the simplest but most effective ways is to trick consumers into infecting themselves by capitalizing on Americans’ interest in celebrity gossip,” said Jeff Green, senior vice president of McAfee’s Product Development and Avert Labs. “Tapping into current events, pop culture or commonly browsed sites is an easy way to achieve this. And because of Americans’ obsession with following celebrities’ lifestyles, they are an obvious target. We have to take precautions in casually navigating the Web since many subtle sites may be rife with malware for consumers’ computers.”

The list was compiled using McAfee SiteAdvisor, which can be downloaded for free at‚ www.mcafee.com/siteadvisor.

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — After the car and hotel problems John already mentioned, we headed to the El Pollo Loco for a lovely KFC-meets-Taco-Bell type lunch. Delicious, really. I can see heading back there, but John wasn’t so sure. We both did get to enjoy our first-ever churros though.

After lazing around our not-so-Quality Inn hotel room (with no elevator, thank you very much John), we finally got over the jet-lag and headed to Tinsel Town. Not gonna lie, it wasn’t exactly what I expected, but that’s mostly because we started off in the slums and then managed to continue far enough down Hollywood Boulevard to reach Touristwood, the Hollywood everyone wants us to see.

I was pretty excited. We had finally reached the people that we recognized of the Hollywood stars on the sidewalk (other than Lassie and the Rugrats, who we had seen earlier), and there we were, right at the heart of downtown Hollywood. We passed the Egyptian Theater, and made it to the Guinness World Records and Hollywood Wax Museum buildings, which were awesome. It was my first time in a wax museum, so I was pretty impressed. The best wax figure was, obviously, Sammy J. Did you really question that? He had the shades and everything.

Also, apparently there is a world record for how many cigars you can smoke at once. It was fourteen, and the man could sing and whistle at the same time. Get on that, people.

Graumann’s Chinese Theater was probably my favorite though. There were all these people dressed up in character, like Superman and Jimmy Neutron and even Optimus Prime, that people were taking pictures with. Walking around and looking at all the hand prints that celebs from Will Smith to the Marx Brothers had made felt like being around royalty. It was a surreal experience (we still have 11 more days to meet an actual celebrity; the search continues!).

We had dinner at Mel’s Diner, which was the closest thing we could find to my requested Jack Rabbit Slim’s experience (I don’t care if it’s fictional or not!) and headed back to our car when, WHAM BAM ALAKAZAM!, turns out come cops were pursuing… someone, and hit and killed two pedestrians along the way. About two blocks of Hollywood Boulevard were closed off, so we had to walk through some pretty slummy areas in order to get back on track somewhere around the Geisha House. You’re lucky, your dearly devoted reporters almost didn’t even make it to E3!

By the way, wasn’t kidding about the hotel room. After not even spending 24 hours here, I woke up this morning to find the toilet’s broken. It’s going to be awesome.

We’ve seen more blondes in today’s malls as a result of today’s hottest teeny bopper starlets. Some girls are even going as far as getting their prom dresses made to match those they see at MTV’s VMA’s. Today’s hottest celebrities influence the American culture in the everyday things we do. They influence our choices in fashion, what music we download to our Ipod, what books and magazines we buy — just about everything.

Recently, Oprah Winfrey laid out the red carpet for Democratic Presidential Candidate, Barack Obama. The event was expected to raise $3 million for Obama’s campaign. With guest appearances by Will Smith, Stevie Wonder and Halle Berry, along with Oprah’s announcement that this presidential candidate was her "favorite guy," one would think Obama’s audience increased.

But a survey conducted b y E-Poll Market Research may prove otherwise. The celebrity and brand research firm polled 2,237 voting age Americans. Of those, only 16 percent say a celebrity would influence their vote in the 2008 Presidential Election. In fact, 10 percent of participants said that a celebrity influence would have a negative impact on their vote.

E-Poll asked which celebrities — if any — would be the most influential in deciding which candidate to vote for. The top celebrities did include Oprah Winfrey along with George Clooney, Angelina Jolie and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Survey results show that democrats could be more swayed by celebrity endorsements than republicans. Although Obama is among the top three democratic presidential candidates, Hilary Clinton is still on top, and her campaign has not included any celebrity endorsements to date.

If candidates are looking for a boost, they should not turn to Rosie O’Donnell, Tom Cruise or Madonna. E-Poll’s survey suggests they would have the least influence and the most negative effects.

Candidates looking to gain votes from those who are still undecided for the 2008 election should not look to celebrities for help. Independents are the least likely to be swayed and only 13 percent say it would be a positive influence.

Overall, the survey results show that celebrity endorsements basically have no effect on young voters’ decisions.
Perhaps Oprah should have saved the red carpet gala until her next birthday.