In the 2008 conversation between parents Michael and Dina Lohan, the magazine reports that Michael tells Dina that he represents the bad things in Lindsay’s life but his ex-wife interrupts him to say, “her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it’s bad Michael, it’s bad.”

It’s been a quick road downhill since “The Parent Trap.” Lindsay is the stereotype of a hot mess, and she doesn’t have the popularity of a “Britney” to dig herself out of it. Britney Spears was/is a hot mess, but all she has to do is make another song every time she needs to solve her problems — and it can be any song. She can belch into the microphone and it will to platinum.

The pop princess graced Boston at the TD Banknorth Garden Monday to an audience of 17,804 circus freaks (also known as “Britney fans”).

The titillating and death-defying acrobatics of the opening circus performers who performed everything from dance style martial arts to graceful and awe-inspiring flips on a flexible beam carried by two strong men was enough to have the audience riveted throughout the entire pre-show acts.

Following that and the Pussycat Dolls opening act, Britney gyrated, lip-synched and got her freak on for an hour and half, performing her newest radio hits from her latest album “Circus” and classic Brit faves including “I’m a Slave 4 U” and “Baby One More Time.”

Britney is a performer first, plain and simple. She can put on a show, she can dance her heart out and boy can she make an exhibition of herself. But something was missing from this show. Yes, the 27-year-old mother of two and divorcee has been through a lot since becoming a teen pop sensation at the tender age of 16, but she could have given 100 percent to her dancing rather than the mildly disappointing 80 percent the audience witnessed.

That said, her dancers, acrobats, clowns and all around circus talent from the Big Apple Circus put on a fantastic show that had the audience on the edge of the seats, when they weren’t standing and dancing along with the music. The costumes were elaborate and glittery, to say the least and a toned Britney seemed content. Her one ballad “Everytime” was beautifully done, with Spears sitting poised and sweetly on a giant, brightly colored umbrella, pouring her heart out.

With a Bollywood themed rendition of her hit “Me Against the Music,” her and her dancers, clad in bellydance garb, shook their stuff utilizing all three circus “ring” stages. Other showstoppers included “Piece of Me” which had Britney caged and exploited — what else is new?

One of the best songs wasn’t even Britney’s and didn’t have her or anyone else present on stage and was a sexy and burlesque inspired video of an amazing dance version of the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams are Made of This.”

With a borderline-S&M themed “Freakshow” number, funky and upbeat “If You Seek Amy” piece and fun, flirty, risque mix of two songs from her “In the Zone” album: “Breathe on Me” and “Touch of My Hand,” the audience was completely satisfied with their Britney experience. And despite all of the turmoil and negative press attention to her personal life, the fact is she is putting herself out there, touring, making more and more millions and maintaining an incredibly devoted, if not mildly psychotic, fan base.

She came, she performed and she’s still conquering. After all, she’s Britney, bitch.

1. Ida Maria

Ida Maria Borli Sivertsen is a Norwegian rocker whose smash hits “OhMyGod” and “Stella” have propelled her to sold out shows, a performance at the Glastonbury Festival, and a nomination for Best Rock/Indie Artists at the BT Digital Music Awards in 2008. Her catchy punk and alternative rock tunes will cross the pond with her January tour. Stops include U.S. appearances in L.A., Hollywood, and New York. The self-proclaimed Queen of the World’s latest single, “Better When You’re Naked” has nearly 730,000 plays on MySpace.

2. VV Brown

2009 just might be the year for foreign artists crossing over into the States’ music scene, which would explain the popularity London-based VV Brown has had with her hit single “Crying Blood.” The British artist, who was born to Caribbean parents, chose to follow her passion for music instead of attending top-notch universities such as Oxford, saying she refuses to be a “puppet of institutionalized intelligence.” The established song-writer had written top ten hits under the alias name Geeki for artists like The Pussy Cat Dolls and British pop sensation The Sugababes. VV Brown’s debut album “Traveling Like The Light” is scheduled for a May 2009 release after “Crying Blood” has left fans thirsting for more. VV Brown was nominated for the BBC’s Sound of 2009 award alongside acts like Lady Gaga and Kid Cudi. Adele was the recipient of the award in 2008.

3. Meiko

This Georgia-native singer/songwriter climbed her way to a number 35 spot on iTunes Top 100 Albums chart in 2007 without the help of a record label. In 2008, Meiko signed a deal with MySpace Records/DGC to release an album in partnership with her own indie label, Lucky Ear. She’s performed at Sundance Film Festival where Paste Magazine editor Josh Jackson declared her a “big success story” waiting to happen. Since then, her music has rocked L.A. radio stations’ playlists and the tunes have been a regular on primetime television hit series like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “One Tree Hill.” Meiko has toured with prominent female artists of her genre such as Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles, and her success has gained herself a spot at SXSW. In 2009 she will tour with Joshua Radin performing her number one iTunes folk song “Boys with Girlfriends.” Soon, you won’t be able to get her out of your head.

4. Britney Spears

As the reigning princess of pop celebrates her ten-year anniversary on the scene, it will be hard to escape her in 2009. With the highly anticipated “come back tour” and her newly released album, “The Circus Starring Britney Spears,” taking the country by storm this March, Spears’ is sure to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Whether she is successful or fails at her comeback world tour, this pop tart is sure to have you hooked with her always-catchy-choruses and feel-good dance beats.

5.  Kevin Rudolph

It seems anything Lil’ Wayne touches turns to gold, and Kevin Rudolf is no exception to that. The American singer/song-writer and record producer’s debut single “Let It Rock” reached the number five spot on the Billboard Hot 100 late in 2008 with the help of his rapper friend, Lil’ Wayne. Not much is known about Rudolf, other than a laundry list of artists he’s work with as either a producer, writer, or guitarist (Timbaland, Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake, The Neptunes, to name a few), including what he looks like; he is barely visible in the music video for his first single and his MySpace hosts only photos of a Rudolf sporting oversized shades. But, the mystery seems to work in his favor; Rudolf is continuing to rock his way into 2009, and with the network of big-name hit makers this guy’s got up his sleeve, longevity should be a piece of cake.

And what a media circus it has been for Britney, essentially since the day she stepped onto the scene back when she was just 16 years old in 1997. While her latest album “Blackout” fell short of expectations and took a backseat to her custody battles and driving violations, there were a few hits that helped her maintain afloat. Circus, however is sure to pack a punch that will throw the critics and surprise the masses. 

“Phonography” at first hear has silly, innuendo-filled lyrics, but the beat is so intoxicating it completely makes up for it and you end up loving the lyrics, giggling at Britney’s utter honesty. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget she is a nearly 30-year-old mother of two, rather that teen girl growing up in the spotlight and being awkward and naive. The song hints at Ace of Base’s beats and melodies, and it actually works. With self-proclaimed unapologetic lyrics that border on the extremely inappropriate, this song is for adults only. 

“Amnesia” has a bit of an 80s throwback vibe, and is wistful and fun. Forget hinting at Ace of Base’s heyday in the early 90s with electronic sounds and a sugary feel, this song emanates their sound and it actually lends a new dimension to Britney’s sound. ”Kill the Lights” is a feisty lash out at the paparazzi. Thanks to a male announcer saying at the beginning of the song “here is a message from the world’s pop princess now pop queen …” the song showcases Britney’s arrogance, which actually might end up being mis-judged confidence.

There is nothing wrong with confidence, even over-confidence, especially when you have the dancing talent, wow-factor and resurrection chops to back it up. Granted, Britney never was the best singer, but that’s not what she is. She is not a singer, she is an entertainer; pure and simple. Yes she can carry a tune, and she projects fairly well, but the nitty-gritty is the girl can perform and after all of the bad press and judgement passed on her these past few years, she has come back and is saying to the world “Want to talk about me more? Talk about how great this album is!”

Other standouts on the CD include “If You Seek Amy,” “Lace and Leather,” and of course the first single “Womanizer” a radio favorite which receives frequent airplay in clubs and bars since its arrival a few months ago. This album is not just an effort by what can be mildly labeled a pop diva, but is a very sharp comment on her life in the limelight, and how she is knowingly an exhibitionist and in many ways, a masochist.

Overall the music on this new album is classic Britney, filled with evocative lyrics, enticing dance beats and thanks to the help of her production team, complex sounds that only add. While I’m positive not everyone out there is looking forward to this album to drop, Britney fans will be pleased with her ability to survive and to put out a CD that will make for a great show when she goes on tour, expected in early 2009. As many onlookers wait with bated breath, they may be turning blue at the potential success of Circus.  

She can thank all of those producers who helped make these songs three-dimensional and irresistible for any and all praise she may or may not receive. Those producers include including Max Martin, The Outsyders, Danja, Bloodshy & Avant and The Underdogs who lend much needed artistic direction while maintaining Brit-Brit’s dance queen image. She can also thank all of the personal trainers and what has to be a ridiculously patient entourage to help her with the everyday demands of being a pop star worth millions. Not to mention her quirky personality, outbursts and foibles that make her a media magnet, mostly for negative exposure. 

Circus will arrive in stores in the U.S. on the heels of the documentary Britney: For the Record airing Sunday Nov. 30 at 10 p.m.  on MTV. The film follows the Spears for three months, beginning Sept. 7, the day she appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards. 

Whether you love her, hate her, are apathetic, or waiting on the edge of your seat for her to fail, the fact is Britney Spears is back, and perhaps better than ever.

In an homage to Letterman’s return to the air, here are the top 10 things you should come away with in January:

10. Your dog will soon take over the world.

9. Don’t stay on the top floor of a casino.

8. Sony may or may not release a white PS3 and they may or may not put Skype into PSP right away.

7. People are jaded as fuck. The first thing readers asked me when Heath Ledger died was whether or not he would still be The Joker.

6. Geek chic is still sexy.

5. Special orders do upset cops.

4. The rich go to Cedars Sinai Medical Center to have their babies. The poor take their chances elsewhere.

3. Don’t trust everything you read on MySpace.

2. Britney Spears won’t outlive any of us.

And the number 1 piece of knowledge you should come away with in January is:

Miley Cyrus is underage. And she will be for a while.

A Los Angeles police officer told the Associated Press that the 26-year-old star was being taken to the hospital to “get help.” Also, The Los Angeles Times quoted authorities saying Spears was being placed on a “mental evaluation hold.”

The AP also said Spears was taken to UCLA Medial Center where they say her mother, Lynne, left at 5:30 a.m. “When asked by a throng of paparazzi and reporters whether Britney was doing all right, Lynne Spears replied, ‘Yeah,’ before leaving in a Range Rover.

TMZ reported that a bitter fight was underway Thursday between Spears’ parents and her friend Sam Lutfi who Spears allegedly gave legal permission to make medical decisions on her behalf.

This is the most recent chapter in a book of downward spirals for the superstar since 2006.

On January 3, Spears was hospitalized after refusing to return her young sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, to ex-husband Kevin Federline, who has custody. Spears lost her visitation rights soon after.

See also: The Boston Globe/AP report

Usually these celebrities are octogenarians or better, or they are extremely ill — cancer, major surgery, heart attacks, etc.

But now it’s Charleton Heston, Sydney Pollack, Fidel Castro, Ariel Sharon … and Britney Spears.

The Associated Press has started writing the 26-year-old pop superstar’s obituary in the wake (figuratively speaking) of a series of self-destructive acts recently.

“We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time,” AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington told Us Magazine. “I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now.”

Spears has seven number one United World Chart hits, and her two current singles, “Piece of me,” and “Gimme More” are in the top 25 in the United States and worldwide. She has sold more than 83 million records, but two years of personal problems have marred the star of late and raised questions about her emotional health.

On January 3 police were called to the singer’s home after she refused to return her children to their father Kevin Federline. She spent a few days under psychiatric watch at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after she “appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance.”

Soon after, on January 14, Spears list all visitation rights with her kids until a hearing in April.

“If something were to happen, we would have to be prepared,” Washington said.

“It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected,” she said. “I was in complete and total shock and so was he.”

The father is Spears boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, a 19-year old actor with whom she lived during the summer. Spears is 12 weeks pregnant and learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and a subsequent doctor visit.

The teen star told the magazine that she kept the news to herself to, “work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone’s opinion affect my decision.” After taking two weeks to herself and thinking over her decision, Spears told her mother, Lynne, before Thanksgiving.

Spears says that at first her family was “very upset,” but that after digesting the news they became supportive. Spears and Aldridge began dating in high school and had reportedly known each other for years. The mother-to-be plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana, “so it can have a normal family life.”

The news of the pregnancy came as a shock to show producers and family members alike, specially since Spears is seemingly a tame celebrity. Nickelodeon released a statement saying they respected the star’s decision to take responsibility for her situation, claiming their primary concern is that of Spears’ well being.

Zoey 101 will conclude its third season this January. The show will end with a dilemma where Zoey (Spears) must decide to leave Pacific Coast Academy or move to London with her parents. Producers said filming for the fourth season had already been completed.

Now in the shoes of her older sister, Spears has had to realize that every action has a consequence. When asked about premarital sex she says teens are better off waiting.

“I definitely don’t think it’s something you should do; it’s better to wait,” she told the magazine. “But I can’t be judgmental because it’s a position I put myself in.”