Given its April 6th debut, there’s a good chance most diehard “American Pie” fans have already seen “American Reunion” by now. If this latest slice left you craving second helpings, never fear. Screenwriter David H. Steinberg recently penned a novel. “Last Stop This Town” follows high school seniors Dylan, Noah, Pike and Walker as they spend their days drag racing down residential suburban streets, bribing homeless guys to buy them beer, and signing yearbooks at pathetic house parties. When Dylan suggests they live up their last weekend of high school at an underground rave in New York, the guys are ready to go crazy and make memories for the ages. Chock full of Steinberg’s signature humor, “Last Stop This Town” should be enough to tide you over between now and the premiere of “American Midlife Crisis.” Here, the writer talks process, poop humor, and why your story won’t go anywhere if you can’t develop characters that make people care.

BLAST: What draws you to coming of age stories? Did you have a particularly interesting coming of age yourself?

DAVID H. STEINBERG: I actually left high school after my junior year to go to college and I’m sure a psychologist would say that writing in the teen genre is my way of filling in the gap in my teenage experience. But I think there’s something more to it than that. It’s just a magical time. Those high school years are the time in everyone’s life when the flood of emotions and surging hormones makes everything seem so important and dramatic and you go through a million highs and lows every day. It’s a time when you really feel alive, and that’s something really cool and unique. Of course, there’s something to be said for those feelings subsiding as an adult and living without the daily drama, but for me, I actually loved that feeling of being invincible, that everything was possible, and that my whole life was still ahead of me. That youthful optimism (and maybe a bit of naiveté) is really what “Last Stop” is all about, as the four friends are about to graduate and go off into the unknown. But it’s also a book about homeless dudes throwing poop at you, so don’t let me pretend this is “Catcher in the Rye.”

BLAST: Which came first: the characters or the plot?

DS: It’s really all about the characters. Once you breathe life into them and know them intimately, then the plot unfolds because that’s what these guys would do. It’s like your vacation pictures. No one cares about the shots of buildings—they only want to see the ones with you in front of the fountain–because people care about people. So I start with high school archetypes—the player, the monogamous guy, the guy who can’t get laid, and the stoner—and then try to build on this to create three dimensional characters. If I’ve done my job well, they become real and unique. Pike starts out as “the stoner” but winds up being a completely new and different take on the original archetype. Look at Spicolli from “Fast Time at Ridgemont High”—same archetype, totally different character.

BLAST: How long has this novel been in the works?

DS: I originally wrote it as a screenplay, then adapted it into a novel because I fell in love with my guys. Overall, the process took four years–not very fast considering it’s under 200 pages. But I have a day job writing and directing movies, so cut me some slack.

BLAST: Which character from your “American Pie” series would you most like to hang out with?

DS: Nadia, duh.

BLAST: Which to do you prefer to write: fiction or screenplays?

DS: It’s hard to choose. Writing for film is a pretty amazing gig. Watching a movie in a crowded theater, seeing your name flash on the screen, and hearing them laugh at your jokes—there’s really nothing that can compare to that. On the other hand, screenplays are like sonnets—the structure and formatting is very restrictive. Plus, when you’re done, other writers re-write you, the director puts his stamp on it, actors improvise, editors move things around—it’s a hugely collaborative medium. Sometimes that’s awesome when talented people “plus” the script and make the movie great. Sometimes it’s not so awesome. Novels are liberating stylistically. I can write what characters are thinking and feeling, and screenplays obviously can only contain moments that can be seen or heard onscreen. But really, it’s about flying solo. If you love or hate my movie, I’m not sure how to take it—I only wrote the screenplay. But the book is all on me.

BLAST: How does your process for writing fiction differ from writing screenplays?

DS: You want to know the biggest brain adjustment? Writing in the past tense! Screenplays are all present tense because it’s technically stage direction. (“Dylan picks up the yearbook,” not “picked up the yearbook.”) But on a less mundane level, it’s really all the same. Create the characters and outline. Months and months of outlining. Write a draft really quickly, then months and months of re-writing.

BLAST: You’ve gotten a lot of praise for penning raunchy scenes that are also somehow sweet. How do you manage to walk this line?

DS: I have to own the raunchy humor, but the truth is I’m all about the drama and emotion of teenagers going through this traumatic time in their lives. Look at the “American Pie” movie posters. “American Pie 2″ was literally just a picture of the ten characters standing there, doing nothing, because the marketing department knew that audiences care about characters, not the specifics of the raunchy humor. I think movies that try to “out-gross” each other without giving us characters to root for ultimately fail because they’re hollow experiences. Look at “Project X.” Sure, it’s funny and crazy, but the characters are unlikeable and no one goes through any sort of relatable life moment. So at the end of the day, who cares?

Now I know there are definitely critical people out there who will think this sounds pretentious and self-aggrandizing because really, I’m a guy who wrote this book where a homeless guy throws poop at people. But for me, it’s about four high school kids going to desperate measures to get beer for a party. Without the characters and the universally relatable situation and emotion, the poop joke isn’t funny. So ultimately, yes, I’m writing some very lowbrow material here, but I’m always also trying to say something worthwhile about the experience of being a teenager.

On April 8, actor and author Ashley Judd sat down with moderator Candelaria Silva and a full theater at Suffolk University to discuss her new book All That Is Bitter and Sweet. Judd candidly and eloquently answered questions about her childhood, spirituality and humanitarian work. With grace and humor she spoke on her recovery process, and how she is using her past to help others—her book is evidence of this effort.

“I’m only five years into my own process and I don’t know how much longer it will take; I don’t know ultimately what it will look like, said Judd. “But I feel fortunate that I love the work. I love sitting around other people and getting real.”

Judd who entered Shades of Hope Treatment Center in 2006 for depression, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, is using what she learned to reach out to others. She has done humanitarian work around the globe and exudes passion when she talks about the people she has met and the experiences that she has had.

“There is a difference between charity and justice and pity and empathy,” she explained. “We need less of the former and more of the latter.”

Judd is involved with many non-profit organizations and is a strong advocate for women’s rights. She thoroughly enjoyed her time at Harvard University where she studied in the women and public policy program and graduated with a masters degree in 2010. In her book she discusses her views on issues concerning women and uses her writing as an outlet to share others’ stories.

“I definitely love to write; I enjoy it, said Judd. “There are more ways to die than simply to stop breathing, and to disengage from service work to me would absolutely be a death. If I am going to keep traveling, I am going to keep writing because it is a strategy for commemorating the sacred narratives that vulnerable people have entrusted me with and carrying them to people like you as well as to government officials and the broader public.”

Judd has spoken to many women involved in sex trafficking and as a victim of rape herself, she identifies with the victimization of these women, but also hopes to help them in the journey from victim to survivor. Aligning herself with various organizations such as Population Services International, Women for Women International and Equality Now, Judd is taking steps to advance underserved populations.

“[Writing] is how I celebrate the grassroots programs that I see that work and really put forward the unsung heroes who are doing brave and often dangerous work on a daily basis,” she said. “And it is how, as that scripture says, I work out my own salvation everyday and I try to figure out who am I as I try to make sense of what is often so senseless in the world.”

Religion is very important to Judd and she intertwines it into a lot of her actions. Although she was raised as a Christian Protestant, she considers herself very open to many religious beliefs.

She shared, “I know that I am a spiritual being having a human experience—as C.S. Lewis put it—and if I can hang out in that space I’m going to be OK.”

Judd’s childhood experience, was tying for her as she explains how living in her household was difficult. She internalized the family’s view of her as the “hero” child and believed that she actually was “a lost child.”

“If I was the hero child that [meant] I was OK and that [my family] didn’t really have to take a look at the fact that I was not OK,” Judd stated. “They could falsely empower me and operate under this assumption that I was competent and capable.” She also believes that others around them regarded her as evidence that the family was normal. “Guess what?” she rhetorically asks, “normal is a cycle on the washing machine.”

Judd’s family dynamic was instrumental in transitioning to her current lifestyle as an actress. The success of her mother and sister, singers Naomi Judd and Wynona Judd respectively, combined with her own attraction to glamor, made celebrity status seem inevitable for Judd. But as she now looks on her acting career (she had a lead role in the movie Double Jeopardy and will star in the new ABC series Missing), she sees the problematic path that she traveled to reach stardom.

“The acting is something that I started at a really young age,” she said. “I didn’t know that was what I was doing but I look back now with the definition of acting that I have, which is to live truthfully under imaginary circumstances, and I realize I was acting all the time.”

Luckily, Judd is now using her status as a platform not to pity others but to help them achieve self-efficacy and self reliance. She said she is open to writing another book and is already considering expanding a 30-page paper she wrote, about feminism and social justice, into a book with other women.

“We have to find what our little thing is that we get defensive about that is connected to our soul,” she advised. “The longest 18 inches we travel [is] from the head to the heart. But when they are connected my God we are powerful.”

Judd encouraged everyone to get involved with matters that are important to them and quoted the familiar saying “We are either part of the solution or we are part of the problem.” She suggested even simple tasks like writing to retailers who overly sexualize young girls, or signing petitions to support the use of conflict-free technology by electronic companies.

She acknowledged that many social issues are in fact very large and can seem intimidating to tackle, but she quoted a friend who said, “I am not responsible for the whole pattern, but I am responsible to take the next stitch.” Her memoir All That Is Bitter and Sweet is definitely a stitch in the quilt of social justice that is making its connection count.

Boston book lovers, rejoice!

You can finally back off the edge of your seats: The Boston Book Fest recently announced the lineup for its second annual bibliophile’s paradise, taking place in and around Copley Square on October 16.

The Festival has incorporated a wide range of authors and other media experts as panelists and moderators into its 2010 program. Alongside journalists, comedians, architects, designers, actors, and television and radio hosts are over 130 world-renowned writers of fiction, non-fiction, and poetry. Here are some highlights of celebrated writers in each main book category:

Fiction

Dennis Lehane

If you haven’t yet read Dennis Lehane’s books, you’ve probably at least seen one of the movies based on them: “Mystic River”; “Gone, Baby, Gone”; or more recently, “Shutter Island.” The Dorchester native also penned “Prayers for Rain,” “Sacred,” “The Given Day,” and “A Drink Before the War” (winner of the Shamus Award for Best First Novel), among others. To top it all off, Lehane recently edited and contributed to the hub-centric short story collection “Boston Noir.”

Kelly Link

Not only does Kelly Link write short fiction about, as The New Stateman put it, “pirates and wizards, undead babysitters and dueling librarians,” she also runs Small Beer Press and Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet. She lives in Northampton and has one short story collection, “Magic for Beginners,” available for free downloading in case you want to read it now to prepare for meeting her in October. Her other collections are “Stranger Things Happen” and “Pretty Monsters.”

Brunonia Barry

Brunonia Barry worked as a screenwriter in Hollywood for nearly a decade, but returned  to Massachusetts (who wouldn’t?) and opened Smart Games, a puzzle company, with her husband. Her self-published novel, “The Lace Reader,” created a media sensation that sparked a bidding war, landing her a $2 million book deal. Her second novel, “The Map of True Places,” was published in May.

Non-Fiction and Memoir

Atul Gawande

Atul Gawande, author of New York Times bestseller,”The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right,” is a surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. He’s also a staff writer for the New Yorker, which recently published, “Letting Go,” his look at the current state of end-of-life care inAmerica. In 2006, he received the MacArthur Fellowship (you know, the “genius prize”) for his practical improvements to surgical practices.

Nick Flynn

Nick Flynn is an accomplished poet, but he is probably best known for “Another Bullshit Night in Suck City,” a Boston-based memoir about homelessness which won the PEN/Martha Albrand Award. His new memoir, “The Ticking is the Bomb,” was released in early 2010. Flynn has also been a ship’s captain, an electrician, and a caseworker with homeless adults.

Da Zheng

Da Zheng received his Ph.D. in English from Boston University after immigrating from Shanghai 1986. He currently serves as an Associate English Professor at Suffolk University. Zheng’s cultural biography, “Chiang Yee: The Silent Traveler from the East,” explores the life and work of the Chinese immigrant who wrote and illustrated travel books about the West from an outsider’s perspective.

Bill Bryson

Bryson’s Web site brags that he is “is the UK’s biggest selling non-fiction author since official records began.” Born in Iowa, Bryson spent the majority of his life living and writing in the United Kingdom (apart from a brief stint in New Hampshire in the 90s). He has written 17 books on travel, the English language, and science, including “The Lost Continent” and “A Short History of Nearly Everything,” which won the Aventis Prize for Science Books as well as the Descartes Science Communication Prize. They’re awards justly won: Who besides Bryson (and Mel Brooks) can tackle the history of the world with such awesome wit?

Poetry

Edward Hirsch

Edward Hirsch credits Emily Bronte for his love of poetry. He holds a Ph.D. in folklore from the University of Pennsylvania. His books and essays have received a slew of awards, including the Lavan Younger Poets Award, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the William Riley Parker Prize from the Modern Language Association, among others. Hirsch is a poetry columnist for the Washington Post Book World and president of the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Foundation.

Jill McDonough

A poet with work in The Threepenny Review, The New Republic, and Slate, among others, Jill McDonough is an adjunct English professor who teaches creative writing to incarcerated college students through Boston University’s Prison Education Program. Her first full-length book of poetry, “Habeas Corpus,” was published in 2008.

Kevin Young

Publisher’s Weekly has stated that, “In just ten years since his debut, Young has become a leading poet of his generation.” Kevin Young has published six books of poetry, including March 2010′s “The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing.” He is a professor of creative writing and English and curator of Literary Collections and the Raymond Danowski Poetry Library at Emory University.

All of the Above

Joyce Carol Oates

Joyce Carol Oates is one of the most celebrated fiction writers of our time. She’s written novels for adults, young adults, and children; short stories; poetry; drama; essays and non-fiction; and has edited nearly 20 anthologies on various subjects, including H.P. Lovecraft, mother-daughter fiction, and cats. Her latest award is the Fernanda Pivano Award for American Literature, but that doesn’t even scratch the surface of her achievements. She’s lived in New York, Wisconsin, Michigan (she calls Detroit her “great subject”), and New Jersey, and it’s up to us to give her a warm welcome in Boston.

In addition, the panelists and moderators for the day’s events include some familiar names in the publishing and media worlds, including Helene Atwan, the director of Beacon Press; Peter Kadzis, Executive Editor at the “Boston Phoenix”; Tom Ashbrook, journalist and host of National Public Radio and WBUR’s “On Point”; Alan Dershowitz, Harvard University law professor, writer, and winner of the William O. Douglas First Amendment Award for his human rights advocacy; and Faith Salie, radio host (or, you might remember her as Sarina Douglas on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine). The events schedule and specific locations will be announced after Labor Day.

A full list of attending authors and media experts, with bios, is available here.

The Good Men Project is a collection of autobiographical stories written by men "on the front lines of modern manhood.” It’s about and for men who are living their lives, figuring out what it means to be a good man. The book is a collection of 32 stories, broken into four sections: Fathers, Sons, Husbands, and Workers. There’s also a documentary film which took four of the written stories and told them visually.

Tom Matlack, one of the founders of the Good Men Project, wrote in his introduction to the book that the goal is "by reading other men’s stories and watching them on our documentary film, you can reflect on the arc of your own life and, in the process, begin to form your definition of a good man."

The stories are touching and represent a variety of lifestyles and values. Professor and fiction writer Perry Glasser wrote about being a single dad to an eight-year-old girl. He used beautiful imagery to define security (pouring concrete for a tether ball pole) and the dangers a father protects his daughter from (a bat that gets into the house). Glasser explains how single fatherhood faces different challenges than single motherhood. A single mother wouldn’t have to go to a hair dresser to learn how to brush a girl’s hair. A single mother wouldn’t be questioned by a security guard because she’s waiting for her daughter to come out of the dressing room at a clothing store. This story, the first one in the book, is about a man actively on the front lines of modern manhood, where he learns how to protect and raise his daughter into womanhood.

Because most contributors write professionally, the book is an enjoyable read, but the editors should have defined goodness for themselves. By offering the reader a clear definition of goodness, or several clear definitions, the reader would have something solid to think about. Instead the book presents the stories leaving the reader, if he’s ambitious enough, to decipher for himself what each story says about goodness.

James Houghton, the other founder of the Good Men Project wrote in his introduction, "Despite the pressure we felt at times to make the book more prescriptive, for it to provide easy answers or definitions, the great lesson I’ve learned over the past year… is that there is no definitive answer."

NATICK — No, this is not your favorite sex position, but keep reading anyway. “Girl on Top” is best-selling author Nicole Williams’ new book about how to reach those career goals you’ve had since you quit scanning bananas at the ‘Basket and moved out of your parents’ house.

“No,” says Williams, they are not impossible — in fact you already know the rules. Williams’ book takes the tried-and-true laws, rules and truths of the dating world and applies them your career. Why? Because you should go after your dream job the way you went after that yoga instructor who moved in next store. She explains, for example, how the old "don’t give away the milk for free" mantra your mom used to whisper in your ear while you slept pertains to landing your dream job. Miller says that it’s just as important not to make yourself so available when hunting for a job as it is when hunting for a mate.

"Just like our tendency is to throw out the rule book and call, and call, and call, and call the super hot dude you can’t help but imagine is ‘the one,’ you’re going to come across the job, the boss, the client you can’t imagine yourself living without, and it’s exactly here where you need play the game," Williams says on her website.

Williams was at the Limited store at the Natick Collection last night. Over 100 women attended to network, sip free wine (yeah, they gave out red wine in a clothing store. Stupid, or genius?) and enter a raffle for a $250 shopping spree to the store. Early arrivers also left with a gift bag that included Tarte eyeliner and a super cute makeup bag. But the highlight of the evening was Williams’ motivational speech and a killer fashion show. Williams was witty and frank — just like her book. If you’re looking for a new outlook on the old job hunt, Girl on Top may just be what you need. Either way, you’ll totally be brushing up on those dating tips.

So does her advice work? That’s up to you find out. We’re ready to give it a shot.

Everquest: 10th Anniversary Collector’s Edition hardcover book celebrating the popular video game series has been released. Retailing for $34.99, the book covers everything a die hard fan would want to know about the series. The book features essays, photos, artwork, and events, products‚  and personalities which have graced the world of Norrath over the years. The book chronicles the story behind the creation of Everquest 1 and 2, and offers commentary on events, photos, concept art and characters. A must have for true fans of the series, the book is available Station’s website.

Congratulations to loyal Blast Magazine reader Jeff Hunt for being the most recent winner of a Blast Magazine prize package.

This month’s package included a full-size official poster from the movie “The Diving Bell And The Butterfly” with the film’s official soundtrack courtesy of Miramax. Jeff is also receiving a copy of outlandish new DVD, “Cougar Club” and a copy of The New Rivals CD courtesy of Universal. Jeff also gets an Art of Blast 2008 desk calendar.

How did Jeff get all this? By reading Blast and mentioning us in his blog. We knew he was a fan of “The Diving Bell And The Butterfly” so we’re shipping off a bunch of swag.

We’ve got more for you guys coming in 2008!

Not only do we have a bunch of copies of “Cougar Club” and The New Rivals but how about this? We have over a dozen Plantronics Audio 350 gaming headsets that we’re just throwing at our readers next month. Enjoy the ultimate gaming headset for free!

We also have copies of Roxio Crunch and Popcap’s hits for PS2 and Xbox 360.

And on top of all that, we have a “The Diving Bell And The Butterfly” mini poster and the novelization of the movie FREE.

What do you have to do to get any of these freebies? Write a review! Review a new movie, music album, video game, software, hardware, gadget, laptop, camera, pretty much whatever Santa gave you this year. Write up a review that’s at least 400 words, and if we use it, you’ll get a freebie!

Email all reviews to newsroom@blastmagazine.com, and include your name, address, website address if you have one, the review, any photos you have of the product and don’t forget the “Quick hits” info like you see here.

It’s free! Happy New Year from Blast!!

In Our Gods Wear Spandex, author Christopher Knowles thoroughly details the link between the gods of ancient worlds and the beloved modern age spandex-clad superheroes, with a brief history told through the eyes of a true fanboy.

Written like a geek’s guide to history and its relation to the comic book, an index makes it easy to find favorite characters; and clever formatting means there is no necessity to read from cover to cover or reference previous chapters to understand current themes.

For the most die-hard fan, Knowles carefully laid out his research and thought on the relationship between the two groups for literary consumption. His knowledge is on par with his experience in the industry, with more than 20 years spent in the comic book industry as author for The X Presidents graphic novel, based on the populat Saturday Night Live cartoon, and others.

Short sections on gods of the Norse, Egyptian, and Greek mythologies, brief histories of several alternative religious movements and biographies of occult celebrities and sci-fi authors, including Harry Houdini and the "profit" Jules Verne, populate the first half of the book. Providing the basis for later forays into the history of famous superhero characters.

Indeed, Knowles uses about half his text as the set-up for later descriptions of hand-picked comic heroes and draws enough parallels to make some compelling arguments. Plucked from the pages of DC and Marvel, heroes and villains are cast in a new light with religious undertones and occult influences for their creation.

Some examples? Fantastic Four’s Ben Grimm is nearly a literal translation of the clay Golems of Jewish legend, down to the rocky exterior. Superman, the quintessential hero, was a Christ-like figure, Knowles argues, an only son sent from the heavens to save the human race.

While Knowles works hard to prove his theory that superheroes and villains are descended from religious Messiahs and impacted by the fears and beliefs running rampant in contemporary society, he never takes the extra step to elevate ComiCon, an annual comic book conference, into a gathering of the faithful to this newfound religion.

He also touches upon the most high profile and high-impact heroes. Spider-man, Superman, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, Batman, the X-Men and the Fantastic Four, the text may have been able to give a fuller look into the comic-book universe by sacrificing sections on histories and mythologies to give other comic heroes their own space. Not to be left out, Knowles also includes a section on comic book visionaries, including his own favorite Jack Kirby. Kirby introduced unabashedly religious heroes in 1971 under the DC Comics title The New Gods. He introduced occult, mythological and esoteric themes to young readers through the comic book medium.

About halfway through the text comes the real meat of the story. With a smattering of the famous and infamous heroes told through a brief history of their rise and fall, their relative god-like attributes and, in many cases, pop culture influences on their characterization.

It’s here that readers learn how the man of steel fought gangsters and other real-life villains in his earliest tales beginning in 1938; quickly working towards some small sense of comfort for Americans suffering through the Great Depression and later World War II. And that X-Men tapped into angst-ridden feelings of alienation instead of the more traditional format of heroes saving lesser humans and being championed for their abilities.

The text is peppered with comedic illustrations by Joseph Michael Linsner. Including a blonde-haired English version of John Constantine being strangled by Keanu Reeves and a film reel where Knowles delineates how Hollywood hacks created an unfaithful film adaptation and killed a possible franchise.

Even to a reader who doe not harbor memories of a misspent youth spent devouring the latest pulp stories or comic books, it’s clear that Knowles has done his research. But with this book, only the most rabid comic geeks are likely to wade through the history lessons to get to know their favorite superheroes better.

Our Gods Wear Spandex: The Secret History of Comic Book Heroes by Christopher Knowles
Illustrations by Joseph Michael Linsner
Publisher: Weiser Books
$19.95, paperback

The 20th anniversary edition of Clark Huling’s “A Gallery of Paintings” reminds us why we still owe our attention to fine art.

This oversized 150+ page book is the next best thing to going to an art museum and seeing amazing artworks yourself. The entire book is filled with large images of Hulings’ paintings and well narrated along the way.

Hulings is one of the best living painters, and it’s rare to find several of his pieces in one place — he rarely does solo exhibitions. If you missed his shows this spring, it’s just that more important for anyone with an interest in art to obtain this piece and add it to their library of inspiration.

The 2nd edition book has already won an Independent Publisher award and includes a new foreword by the artist and 15 new paintings.

Vince Poscente, one of the greatest public speakers in the world, offers a quick read called “The Age of Speed: Learning to Thrive in a More-Faster-Now World.”

The book asks a very basic question — is faster better, and how can I survive this new “fast world?”

Scott Cook, co-founder of Intuit calls “The Age of Speed” “your bible to surf the speed tsunami that’s overtaking business and life.”

Time is more fluid now, and Poscente says this should make things easier for us if we can adapt to it.

4 out of 5 stars

Reading O.J. Simpson’s ghostwritten pot-boiler If I Did It is a little like coming home from school to see both of your parents drunk, practicing bondage in your living room. You might be horrified, and you know you’ll never be the same again, but you just can’t look away.

The book  is horrifying in a nutshell — exploitative and obscene. But if you put it down for longer than the time it takes to use the bathroom—for any other reason than unbeatable disgust—you are a testament to humanity’s true weakness in the face of suffering.

Everyone remembers, vaguely, where they were when The Juice was found not guilty in criminal court of the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. He was later sentenced in civil court, found liable for willfully and wrongfully causing the deaths of Goldman and Brown, and for committing battery with malice and oppression. He was charged some millions of dollars, and left to fade into obscurity until he broke into a casino to steal some sports memorabilia he claimed was his.

So that was the period between the ‘90s and last week.

It’s Goldman’s relatives who are responsible for having the book published at all. After an initial fight to keep the book off the shelves when it was supposed to be published earlier this year, the Goldmans reversed their position with the intention that everyone who reads the book will be convinced of Simpson’s guilt.

The Goldman family’s quest to keep the book off the shelves is discussed in a lengthy introduction (titled He Did It), saying that the royalty money from the publication was to be funneled to a sham corporation "operated" by Simpson’s children. The Goldman family bought the rights to the book after the sham nature of the corporation was discovered, and decided to publish Simpson’s original manuscript with their preface, a preface written by the ghostwriter (Pablo F. Fenjves) and an afterward written by a judge.

This turns O.J.’s original manuscript — which was purported by Simpson himself to have started out as a fictional account — into a weird sort of dialogue, or debate, between two distinct visions of the truth.

The three bookends to The Juice’s manuscript each ring out the same tune: He did it, we know he did it, we’re all disgusted and aren’t you? And going into the book, you either agree or you don’t.

That’s not the point: the point is to hear from our generation’s most famous killer since Aileen Wuornos. This is the Juice’s side of the story, billed by Fenjves as his final confession. Consider If I Did It O.J.’s “Monster.” We get to see how the killing started: girl trouble.

Yes, girlfriend troubles. The first hundred pages of the book are O.J.’s account of his torrid romance with Nicole Brown, from its dreamy beginnings to its bloodsoaked end. With no one to contradict him, and a ghostwriter who seems to have written the book verbatim from his subject’s own rambling narrative, Simpson makes her out to be a schizophrenic, dangerously unstable, needy, hairpin-turn kind of nutjob girlfriend, with whom O.J. spent nearly two decades before finally snapping and butchering her and an innocent bystander.

It’s this tale which is almost as morally repugnant as the act itself, but actually the real reason I simply could not put it down. O.J. Simpson’s catastrophically mundane troubles and almost touching confusion in the face of this woman he cheated on his wife to be with one week into her 18th year, is the perfect celebrity-tragedy story for our time.

I mean, come on, you’re not getting Romeo and Juliet here. This book is trashy celebrity romance, a tabloid tell-all written by a failed National Enquirer writer.
It’s beach reading for those of you with no shame at all. It’s kind of fun to wallow in The Juice’s whining.

Until you remember that it’s all just excuses and half-ass justification for why he killed his ex-wife and an innocent bystander.

Is it a narrative of quality? Not at all. Even with the Goldman family’s moralistic cautionary tale taped to the front of the original manuscript, the book still serves no purpose other than to shock. The Goldman family turns O.J. into a monster outright, and O.J. turns himself into a monster accidentally.

By the end of the narrative the whole sordid thing is just exhausting. Whether you agree with the Goldman family or Simpson, you’re going to finish reading and need a hot shower.