Thirteen years ago, after I had been kicked out of the house for being a drunk and a liar, I started going to this new age masseuse named Melissa for readings and physical therapy. I had just been the Chief Financial Officer of a billion dollar enterprise, had two baby children, and a heap of problems.

Melissa, who had wild red-hair and often missed appointments to attend to the black lab who slept under the table when she did decide to show up, used crystals to read my body energy. She often talked to me about the need to understand my ability to give energy (or love) that resides in the right side of the body but also the ability to receive energy (and love) that resides in the left side. Like most men she would inspect my body and find that I was strongly right-side dominant. I couldn’t seem to receive love from my kids, my family, the world, or a higher power.

Whenever she reminded me of this duality and touched the left side of the body my heart hurt. At first I cried face down so she wouldn’t see my pain. But pretty soon I realized she already knew how much trouble I was in so there was no use hiding it. So I lay face up with salty drops rolling down my cheeks in into my ears.

There was much that I couldn’t control in those days that I was desperately trying to. Sometimes I would arrive so distraught that Melissa asked me to lie down immediately on the table, fully clothed, so she could go right to work. With her hands on me, she would have visions that she would sometime ask me about. Or I would speak, unprompted, about my guilt over my kids or my addiction.

In the years since I have experienced many, many blessings. I got and stayed sober on 12.28.96. I have had a role in my kids’ life. I have had financial success. On 12.28.02 I got remarried to the woman of my dreams. On Valentines Day 2005, I had a third child, a son. In the last year I have written a book and produced a film on manhood that took me to Sing Sing, Hollywood, and to media appearances all over the country.

Yet, as I think about New Years Resolutions I am brought back to Melissa and what she taught me on the table in conversations that still seem in my logical mind more like voodoo than any kind of eternal truth.

At 45, I am still an addict. I don’t do booze or money or sex or food anymore. They all seem to have found their natural and healthy place in my life. But I still have that dark male side which can’t allow the world, or my wife or my kids, to love me. I keep them at more of a distance than I’d like through obsessive activity.

I am consumed with the idea that men of all walks of life are at crossroads in our country. Tiger Woods is just a final red flag in what we all already know about the trap we as men find ourselves in as fathers, husbands, sons and workers. NFL Hall-of-Famers, Marines on the ground, and stay at-home dads have all shared their stories with us confirming it.

But ironically the men’s movement I am attempting to spark has taken me away from the very principles that got me this far. I have become an Internet whore. I have no interest in pornography. I am talking about Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Huffington, blip.tv, Flickr, Scribd, LinkedIn, and old fashion email. My laptop and blackberry are always on and I can tell you exactly how many people are watching me and which influencers I am chasing like a fox on a hunt.

So I was talking to my wife last night about resolutions and she volunteered that she’d like me to spend less time on my social media family and more with my real family. “We need you,” she said matter-of-factly.

I also have been thinking of the times in the last year when I treated men and women working on our Project with anger rather than compassion. I have a bad habit of, at times, using my own urgency as a weapon at moments when I perceive others have let me, or our greater goal, down. I’m not proud of it. I know anger is generally counter-productive. But when the walls are closing in my mind explodes with frustration at losing a battle rather than being able to focus on the greater goal of a war that won’t be won on my personal will alone.

What Melissa used to say, and I know to be true, is that doing less isn’t a matter of giving up on a goal in life. It is actually a way to be more effective and accomplish more. It’s like the difference between holding your breath and actually inhaling and exhaling while doing something. You can swim or read or make love a hell of a lot longer and more effectively if you just remember to breathe.

So my resolution is to bring what I learned from Melissa, and from my yoga mat, back more deeply into my life. Yes I want to continue to expand the role of our Project in the lives of men. But the best way to do that is to be less insecure, to receive love from my wife and kids, and to have more faith. To show love and receive love. To let go more often. To develop my left side rather than pounding away with my right fist on a table or a blackberry. To laugh and cry in the face of my own anger. To remember, when all else fails, to breathe deeply of my life.

CANTON, Ohio — Coming home to Ohio for Christmas this year felt like an extended version of the movie “On Golden Pond,” with my stepfather Tom as the crotchety, yet lovable Henry Fonda figure, my mother as the eccentric, yet supportive Katharine Hepburn figure, and me—the forever man-crazy Jane Fonda character who walks around barefoot and in boxer shorts and complains that it’s too cold in the house. OK, well Jane Fonda didn’t do that in the movie, but I do.

It had been almost six months since my parents moved me to Boston for graduate school so I was eager to go home a week for the holidays. Too bad Boston Logan International Airport has a reputation for delayed flights. My 7:30 p.m. scheduled flight on December 22 was delayed until 8:30. That didn’t seem so bad. 8:30 turned into 9:30 and then 10:30. I finally landed in the land of Canton, Ohio — famous for helping to re-elect George W. Bush in 2004, celebrating a museum of bronze football player heads that is the Football Hall of Fame, and drinking the beauty that is PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) beer at 1 a.m. I couldn’t have been happier.

Christmas Eve consisted of my mother and stepfather arguing over how to correctly insert a small circular battery into a plastic mini-candle.

"No, you have to put with the positive side up," my step-dad insists.

Tom, who looks like a hybrid of Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Farina from “Law and Order,” is usually right about these sorts of things. He’s a regular jack-of-all trade’s artist and fix-it man who was a one-time beer can collector and who used to teach Earth Science to high-schoolers until the narcolepsy kicked in.

"I’m telling you, you bent the plastic edge, now it won’t work," he explains to my mother.

"These cheap things are a piece of shit," my mother so elegantly puts it.

My mother Victoria looks to Tom to fix anything that appears out of the ordinary.

"I can’t get this stupid cork screw opener to work!" she says later in the evening.

"You’re going to break it!" she exclaims when Tom manhandles the opener.

"Pretend you’re a waiter at a restaurant. It’s the fancy kind that they use," she instructs him.

Finally, they get the bottle of White Zinfandel open. My mother pours herself a large glass and thrusts the bottle into the refrigerator. I come from a family of wine connoisseurs.

My mother, who’s dressed in a god-awful pink Christmas sweater with sparkly pine trees, insists that we listen to some joyful Christmas music.

"Put on B-A-R-B-R-A!"

When Mike Meyers created the character of Linda Richmond on Saturday Night Live in the early 90′s, I think he was talking about my mother. Granted my mother doesn’t have long finger nails and isn’t Jewish, but she’s still obsessed with Barbra Streisand.

"She can’t do wrong! Listen to that voice."

Don’t argue with her. To my mother, Streisand is ageless, timeless and flawless, which is why she was thrilled when we opened Christmas presents that I got her the Divine B’s new CD.

"I just knew you’d get this for me!" my mother shrieks.

My step-dad is more thrilled that he got a new book of Sudoku to listen to her. When he’s not immersed in his favorite game, Tom can be found in the back room of our basement aka "his studio." Right now, he’s trying his hand on stain-glass windows after taking a class at the local art gallery.

"Hey Nicholas, can you come here a minute?" he calls me later that night.

That can only mean one thing. He needs me to hold something in place. Ever since I was 10 and my mother remarried I’ve been holding up ladders, holding down weights for projects, and holding onto my sanity throughout the process. He’s got another hollow wood sculpture he’s working on in between all the stain glass Christmas window hangings.

"I can’t seem to get the damn glue to stick!" he cries like a defeated Ahab.

But he always defeats his Everests. Then he goes and takes a nap.

It’s always interesting after being home for a long time to notice the various changes around the house. My room is no longer my room. It’s the guest room. But there aren’t just changes. There are improvements. My mother fills me in.

"What do you think of Tom’s new carport he built next to the garage?"

"Did you see our new window shutters for our bedroom?"

"Doesn’t this carpet look like one of Tom’s stained glass windows?"

"Did you notice that I got rid of those awful duck handles that were on all the kitchen cabinet doors?"

"Can you believe that the kid from Best Buy didn’t sell us a memory card for our new digital camera!"

No, Mom. I honestly can’t.

In the summer I’d come home to spend the day at my parent’s on our pontoon boat on the lake. But Meyers Lake aka Golden Pond is frozen over. Even though it’s winter it doesn’t keep my parents from feeding the wildlife.

Despite the fact that we’ve had a case of freezing rain mixed with snow, they both feel it’s their solemn duty to feed the birds, squirrels, and the neighbor’s fat grey outdoor cat.

It’s when the seagulls start circling the house that I start to get worried.

"Do you have to do that?" I ask my mother as she throws a packet of stale bread for Hitchcock’s heathens.

"They like it!" she laughs.

Sure they like it, Tippi Heddren. They also would like to peck out your eyes, I think to myself.

But Christmas Eve didn’t end on a bad note. We all ended up watching “A Christmas Story” on TBS’s marathon run they have every year.

"Look, what I got myself," my mother shows me holding up a large Este Lauder makeup bag.

"I got it for myself for Christmas! Tom doesn’t know," she giggles, "do you think your cousin Emily will like this ugly red bag? I just wanted the lipstick."

"I have no idea," I say as I pet our tabby cat Jewels, who’s sitting on my lap.

"Well, I guess I could keep it. Do you think Macy’s would take it back and give me another case of eye shadow instead? I mean, it’s a perfectly good bag."

"Mom, this isn’t Mexico. You can’t just barter your way up and down the perfume counter," I inform her.

"True. I think I will give it to your cousin Emily."

The next morning I wake up to the sound of snow and rain bleating against my windowpane. Looking out onto Meyers Lake, I realize that even if it’s for a short time, I’m glad to be home.

"What are you doing?" my mother asks me as she comes into my room on Christmas night.

"Writing a story about you and Tom,"

"Oh God!" my mother says rolling her eyes.

God, it’s good to be home.

As if auto-dialing systems weren’t annoying enough — you know, the computerized telemarketing drones that call you during dinner?

This morning, at midnight, the Citizens Bank auto-dialer malfunctioned and began calling customers. A supervisor at the bank said that the problem was not discovered for over an hour and that crews had to manually disable the system shortly after 1 a.m.

Now, I can see an honest mistake being made. But there are families out there who don’t necessarily expect to get good news when the phone rings at 1 a.m.

Families of soldier’s abroad. Families of cops. Firemen. Parents of college students? One of those calls was placed to my parent’s house early this morning while I was home for the holiday. But my father was not home. My father, who’s a firefighter, was working at the firehouse last night.

If you’ve ever experienced this lifestyle, having your loved ones at work or fighting abroad on holidays, you know there’s only one reason why someone would call my mother after midnight. That’s if there’s bad news.

Needless to say, my mother was frightened last night, and I was angry this morning.

The supervisor for the Providence-based bank, who did not give her full name, apologized profusely, calling the malfunction an honest mistake.

She did not know how many people were called.

No harm, no foul in this case, but it’s a shining example if why the dehumanization of “customer service” is hurting business.

Well, Merry Christmas Citizens Bank. Thanks for adding us to the Do Not Call List as a present.

Update: I invite any of you to become business reporters for Blast. Comments are closed.

By now you should know about Blast’s partnership with the SYNERGY Timeless New Year’s Eve gala.

We’ve been getting e-mails asking for more information on the event, so here’s an interview with Reaz Hoque, one of the organizers:

BLAST: How did SYNERGY get started? When did it start?

Reaz Hoque: The SYNERGY events started about 3 years ago. I used to do a lot of house parties where I would spin music that you don’t normally hear at regular Boston scenes and my friends would just love it. Soon enough, I started to get to know more people, the house parties started becoming too much to handle and I wanted to do something outside of my house. I also had the idea of combining music with fashion and art and that’s how we started the SYNERGY events.

BLAST: How many people do you draw each year?

RH: We usually have a full house at all our events. At our recent Boston fashion week event, we had 900 people in two nights. And these are all pretty high end crowd, the ones that don’t normally come out every night but when they do, they go all out.

BLAST: There’s a big charity component that goes into the party as well. Can you tell us a little about that?

RH: Charity draws a specific type of folks to our events, the ones that are generous and social conscious. We think of it as, if we can have fun and also help a particular group, why not?

BLAST: What’s the theme of SYNERGY? What will everyone be wearing?

RH: We are a leader in creating themed events. Depending on a particular event, the theme is unique. We have done themes where guests were dressed in all red to 1940s glam which is this year’s theme at the Timeless New Year’s Eve Gala. For our upcoming event, the dress code is formal.

BLAST: What’s the crowd like usually? Who comes to SYNERGY?

RH: Our crowd is mostly upscale young professionals who love to mingle, dance, flirt, and meet new people. They are well traveled, usually speak more than one language and love events we put together that combine much more than a DJ and a venue.

BLAST: What are you most looking forward to about this year’s party?

RH: We are looking forward to refining Boston’s New Year’s Eve scene up a notch. When it comes to NYE in Boston, people just think another club night and to be honest, many clubs don’t really offer as much as they should even though they charge a hefty entrance fee for New Years Eve. We are here to change that. We are looking forward to entertaining our guests with red carpet treatment, photography, amazing visuals, live band, live vocals, 3 DJs, food, gift bags, and more importantly at a very upscale private venue that will be transferred into a gala for the night where guests feel it was worth the ticket price!

See you on New Year’s!

Dear Santa,

I know my behavior this year has not always been desirable but I really am trying hard to be a very good girl!

As you know, I haven’t had the best relationship with my car since we came into each other’s lives over the summer. Tomorrow, she is currently going in for service yet again for the same issue. I am asking you to oversee resolution on this stressful subject so I can stop making the 50 mile trek to the dealer or give me the satisfaction of using my right to enact the Lemon Law. You know this is what I really want, so help a girl out and there will be a lot less complaining coming from my end of the world!

If I do end up keeping her, there are a few things that I would like to pamper her with.

1. K&N Air filter
2. Tint the widows, more for me but I feel as if I am the last person in Florida to not have them but she will look pretty with them done
3. Valentine One radar detector. I know, more for me then her
4. Weekly "Spa" treatments. So can you limit the rain fall to only the day before she is to be washed instead of an hour after she has been?
5. Have Nissan agree to cancel my extended warranty and putting the credit towards my account instead of the principle so I can skip some car payments. Okay, another more for me then her….

If for some reason, all goes well and I am able to move on to something else … which would be the very best Christmas present ever … I promise to keep the new car for at least 3 years, love and adore her no matter what since I seek a car that has few service issues in their history and not to bad mouth her in any way.

I say this with eyes, fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed.

Love always,

Sarah

Ps. Can I also have that totally badass Shelby slot car racetrack sold at Restoration Hardware too? I promise to share with the boys!

Pps. Do not fret, my nonautomotive list will follow shortly!

Join Blast on New Year’s Eve this year, and party with us in style!

Remember, January 1 is Blast’s birthday, so we’ll be partying all night.

CELEBRATION, Fla. — I tell people I’m from Orlando. All of us do.

The second the word "Celebration" escapes your lips, you start to raise some serious questions. Yes, Celebration, Florida is a real place. Yes, I grew up on Disney property. No, I am not an animatronic Disney robot. If I am, they did a great job of making me lifelike because I am freezing my little robotic ass off right now in Boston.

I moved to Celebration when I was 11, right as the school was being built and Walt Disney’s picture was still up on the wall. Celebration was designed to be the real EPCOT — an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow — where residents could work, eat, sleep and die all in the same place without ever leaving. Sometimes I feel like I grew up in either the 1950s or on “The Truman Show.”

And then I moved from "Pleasantville" to Somerville.

I’d always wanted to come to Boston. Mainly, I blame Celebration’s Town Tavern, which was the only place in town to hang out once you turned 21. The Tavern was like a home away from home, with Celtics and Red Sox gear on the walls and the "Boston Garden" patio. It seemed so great, but I forgot to take two factors into account. First, I was always drunk when I was there. Second, we had the heat lamps on once it reached 60 degrees. So did I know what I was in for? No. Not really.

Definitely, no.

But during the holidays, there are always parts of my new place up north that will remind me of home.

Like… snow.

Yes. This rumor is true. They pump out fake snow in the streets of Celebration during the winter. We needed something to keep us feeling festive in between the holiday decorating contest and the Radio Disney Holiday Concert in the middle of town.

Sure, you could bide your time watching that house that has their Christmas lights synchronized to holiday music. Or you could ride in the little toy train around the lake in search of Santa Claus and alligators.

But nothing beats fake snow.

Last winter was the first time I’d ever been freaked out by going home. As I sat drinking a glass of wine with a friend on Market Street, a loudspeaker made an announcement to the throngs of tourists gathering on the street.

“Once … In a magical land called Celebration … a little girl made a wish that she could see snow…”

The voice in the loudspeaker proceeded to get the entire street of people to wish as hard as they could for world peace and for dreams to come true. And then it happened. It snowed.

After experiencing real snow for a full winter, it was strange to sit on Market Street and watch perfect flurries fall from the sky while I was wearing a tank top.

Sidebar: For those of you back home who have never seen snow, it’s a lot like cold sand from hell. But in a good way.

Celebration snow is not actually snow. It’s what residents refer to as “snope,” a flurry of soap bubbles designed to look like snow that conveniently melt into the sidewalk after 10 minutes. No windshield scraper needed.

It might not seem so magical once you’ve moved north and have had to shovel off the top of your car, only to find a dozen orange parking tickets frozen to your windshield.

But all in all, it’s pretty much the same thing.

Keep wishing for snow, Little Girl. But snope is so much better.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Chestnuts are roasting over an open fire. The goose is getting fat. Families are decking the halls with boughs of holly.

However, your hard-of-hearing grandpa sits in the corner by himself, attempting to partake in the holiday festivities.

The problem is that he can’t hear his favorite holiday tune, the jingle-jangle of the bells or even in some cases, the screeching fire alarm when disaster strikes in the kitchen. Most importantly, he can’t hear what his loved ones are saying as they laugh and frolic around with each other.

Here are some quick communication tips to get your grandpa (or grandma) engaged:

1. Speak slowly and loudly: It is difficult for even people without hearing loss to listen, process, and comprehend soft and rapid speech. Give your old gramps a little more of your patience and a few extra seconds of your time. In return, it will save both of you a load of frustration as he will be able to understand what you’re saying.
2. Be next to Gramps during conversations: Elderly people depend on visual cues such as body language and lip movement to fill-in-the-blanks of what isn’t heard. Standing across the room and shouting to grandpa isn’t going to make him understand you any better, especially if he also has vision problems. Position yourself right in front of him or next to his good ear during communication so both auditory and visual cues are best delivered.
3. Repeat what he says: By repeating what he says back to him, you’re showing your grandpa that you heard what he was saying, understood his intended message, and cared enough to clarify his main point. This will make him feel understood, secure, and more likely to initiate a conversation in the future.
4. Don’t point out his hearing loss: Your grandpa has already felt the effects of his hearing loss and how it’s impacted his social ability to communicate with everyone. You don’t need to point this out to him. Being reminded of his hearing loss will make him feel threatened and targeted while enhancing his sense of isolation from the family.
5. Conversation starters: Don’t know what to say? Try to focus on topics that you share in common, such as the present you bought for your mom or the funny thing your dog did the other day. By bringing up familiar topics, your grandpa’s brain will have less work to process and the bond between you is strengthened due to the commonalities you both share.

With these tips good old gramps will once again be engaged through communication, feel like part of the family, and be able to partake in the holiday festivities just like everyone else. It will be the most wonderful time of the year… for everyone!

The holiday season is nearly upon us and you know what that means: temptation. No, not temptation to gobble up those delicious party snacks and awesome desserts. That’s fine by me — a holiday party is a great way to get a whole day’s worth of free food, all in one sitting.

Nope, this time I’m talking about the temptation to spend money on gifts for other people. Sure, it’s the season for giving. But that doesn’t mean you have to actually spend your hard-earned money on frivolous gifts for everyone. I mean, you’ve been saving up some serious cash by not spending money on groceries. Don’t get tricked into thinking this is why you’ve been squirreling away your dough for the past month. Once again, I am here to help you save money on all your (limited) holiday shopping.

Let’s start with the basics: regifting. Regifting is a timeless tradition that everyone dabbles in from time to time. But for you, it will now become an art. Regifting — and regifting well — takes some serious skill. You can’t simply grab a gift bag that you think you got from Aunt Susie, throw in a bottle of wine that you think you got from Uncle Rich, and give it to cousin Danny. No one wants to be the jackass who accidentally gives back a gift to the person who gave it to you in the first place.

You really don't need all these picture frames on the wall. Tape will do. Tacks too. (Media credit/Derek Purdy via Flickr)

So to be a skilled regifter. The spirit of regifting must be in your mind 12 months of the year, not just on December 24 (and the day before Chanukkah) when you realize you’ve screwed the pooch and waited too long to shop. In order to do this, you must be organized about it. Whenever you get a gift that you don’t want/need — and you should be doing this at all major holidays, including birthdays — put the gift in a previously chosen location. Back of a closet always works or in a cupboard is good too. Now, you must record these gifts. Create a folder on your computer for this purpose because let’s face it, you’re just not organized to keep track of a random notebook. Just type up who gave you what gift and you’ll be in great shape for the holidays. I realize it’s a little late to do this for the current holiday season, but at least now you have a New Year’s Resolution.

So let’s talk about some ideas you can put to use right now. Picture frames are a lovely item that have been used as gifts for who knows how long. But before you run out to Christmas Tree Shop or Target to purchase a few of these thoughtful offerings, take a look around your own house or apartment. See any picture frames? If you’re a person, I bet you do. So, go ahead and take the pictures out of those frames. Slap the pictures on the wall with some Scotch tape, like a less classy graduate student (see my apartment for prime examples). You might want to clean off the picture frame a bit, since it’s bound to be dusty. You know you don’t spend your money on dust rags and those foofy duster things that are supposed to bend and flex and clean in all the nooks and crannies. Those things are for people who can afford to buy new picture frames for gifts. And don’t worry about your own lack of picture frames. You’re sure to get a couple as gifts over the course of the year. It’s the circle of life.

If you’ve already used up your supply of picture frames, you might be interested in a more edible present. Lots of people go for those big towers or baskets of fruits and muffins and such. It’s not a bad idea. But don’t even think about ordering one from a catalog. That’s like asking your well-intentioned back side to get ripped off. You can simply make one on your own. Head to the grocery store and check out the sales. That’s how you’ll be picking out what fruits to add to the basket. Couple apples, maybe some pears, and a nice package of English muffins. Not too much- everything has to fit into the small sized basket from Christmas Tree Shop that you picked up for fifty cents. It won’t look as good as a catalog basket, but you’ll get some points for the effort of doing it yourself (and everyone will know you did it yourself).

Sales are a great way to shop for yourself while also doing some holiday shopping. My favorite store to do this in is Bath and Body Works. I used to work there, so I know all the deals. Their best sale is during the summer, though that won’t help you now. But add it to your notes for future reference. Fortunately, the store has a sale pretty much all the time, the best one being the Buy-3-Get-2-Free deal. This way, you get to replenish your own stock of favorite shower gel, lotion, and body spray, while also getting two gifts for future use. No one actually wants to get a product from here as a gift. It’s never the right scent or type of lotion that we actually use. But somehow, it has become a classic holiday gift item. So jump on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride.

Baked goods are a great way to go in terms of a gift. That stuff kills it every time. I’m not telling you to do anything too intense. Clearly, that’s not my style. Just grab a couple of bread mixes in the box (I suggest pumpkin or cranberry for added festivity). They’re great because everyone will think you slaved over a hot stove for hours. No one needs to know it takes approximately 3.5 minutes to go from box to oven. And one of the best parts — these guys don’t even need to be wrapped up all pretty. Throw some tin foil around each one so they stay fresh and toss them at the nearest relative. Sure, everyone knows you didn’t spend much, but everyone also knows that you’re just a poor student. Learn to milk that excuse for as long as possible and you’ll be golden.

Got an old gift card lying around that you haven’t used? Probably- gift cards are notorious presents. But don’t just hand your gift card off to someone else. There’s always the chance that the original gift card giver will spot your impropriety. So go out and stretch that gift card to its max, buying all kinds of cheap little gifts for people. You’ll be buying gifts without actually using any of your money, plus you’ll be catering to that urge to shop that I’ve been telling you to stifle. It’s all about compromise.

You don't need all this wrapping paper. Your mom has plenty. (Media credit/Heart for Japan via Flickr)

Let’s talk wrapping paper. As in "let’s never buy wrapping paper again." Seriously, could there be a bigger waste of money? Just think about it for a minute: when you buy wrapping paper, you are buying something that is going to be ripped to shreds and dumped into the nearest Hefty bag. What to do instead of this wallet-sucking material? Alternative one is to throw the gift in a store bag (Old Navy and Gap always has nice bags and you know you have plenty of those, you clothes whore). Hand it off to the recipient and simply say, "Sorry, I just ran out of time to wrap it." If you’re a student of any kind, no one is really going to blame you. Besides, your gift is so crappy that the crappy presentation of the gift is hardly going to be talked about. Really, it’s not even worth it. Wrapping a bad gift in real wrapping paper is like popping one Tic Tac after a loaded sausage: doesn’t matter how you try to cover it, you still smell like shit.

Alternative number two is to pull the prodigal child routine with your parents. I assume most people are going home to their parent’s house for the holidays. You could always wait until you get home, visibly show your enthusiasm for being home with family, then offer to help wrap gifts if only you can use some wrapping paper for your own gifts. Your mom will be so happy to see her baby home, she’ll practically throw the stuff at you. Hey, if it’s free and at your disposal, are you really going to say no?

You now have all the tools for a successful holiday season. Wondering what to do about Uncle Bob’s "extra friendliness" going on under the holiday dinner table? Sorry, can’t help you there. Just throw a pumpkin bread in his hands. That should keep him busy for a while. Now go enjoy your holidays.

OK, so you have endless gifts to buy for everyone from your best friend to your parents to your boyfriend. It can be a lot of work finding the perfect gift. Lucky for you, we here at Blast have compiled a list of only the best stores in Boston. From the unique to the cheap to the luxurious, this guide will point you to the shop you need. Don’t settle for a gift card, pair of boxers or a bottle of wine. Boston has way more to offer!

Black Ink (Beacon Hill: 101 Charles St. and Harvard Square: 5 Brattle St, Cambridge)

If you’re looking for something truly unique for that impossible-to-buy-for person, Black Ink should be your first stop. Hawking everything from a koi chopstick rest set to a space-agey magazine rack to a charcoal essence infused body towel, you can pick up cool kitchen utensils and old-school toys in the same fun to wander through store.

J. Press (Harvard Square: 82 Mt. Auburn St, Cambridge)

For the boyfriend, brother or even dad who is always dressed to the nines, J. Press in Harvard Square will outfit him perfectly (and, P.S., we’re jealous). They carry a wide range of ties for under $60, as well as classy cufflinks, sweaters, belts and other accessories. Consider it the new J. Crew for guys only.

Looney Tunes Records (1106 Boylston St.)

Those uber-hip Berklee kids duck into Looney Tunes for old LPs and every CD you could wish for. A little bit chaotic, but a music junkie’s dream, Looney Tunes is perfect for that friend who never takes off his headphones. Bonus: a lot of cheap finds are to be had.

Poor Little Rich Girl (Davis Square: 255 Elm St, Somerville and 166 Newbury St.)

This vintage and consignment store is where to go for your best girl friend, your girlfriend, or your eternally cool grandmother. Stocking designer dresses, vintage clothes and accessories from the 1940s-80s, classic apartment furnishings, contemporary stores’ clothing and more, there is no girl who won’t find a treasure here.

Oak (245 Newbury St.)

Consider this your one-stop shop for pretty much everyone on your list. Oak is an eclectic store with goods ranging from classy to crazy. We love the sterling silver scrabble letter necklace and the gin and tonic soap as well as the mix tape pillow and the Apple command key ring. Shop here for your techie boyfriend, glamorous girlfriend, parents, siblings, you name it. You can also find one-of-a-kind gifts for the kiddos in your life, like crocheted hand puppets and make-your-own plush monster kits. Plus, if you somehow don’t find what you need at Oak, you’ve still got the rest of Newbury at your disposal.

Formaggio Kitchen (244 Huron Ave, Cambridge)

If you haven’t been to Formaggio Kitchen yet, you’re so not our friend. Nationally known as a distinctive and delicious gourmet cheese shop, Formaggio is the perfect place to spend afternoon hours or to pick up the perfect gift for your favorite foodie or holiday party hostess. Here you’ll find hundreds of imported cheeses from around the world, as well as local favorites. They sell freshly made (and astoundingly delicious) baked goods as well as crackers, wine, jams, chocolate, produce and more. The shop is small, so try to duck in on a weekday afternoon to avoid the shoulder to shoulder crowds.

Blue Cloud Gallery (Ball Square: 713 Broadway, Somerville)

Looking for something artsy and unique? Blue Cloud has it. Carrying works by over 90 artisans, many local, this shop is perfect for someone like mom, who really deserves something special (especially if you still do your laundry at home). They stock beautiful pieces of pottery and glass blown decorations. Pick up some stunning photo tiles to give as coasters or a piece of handmade jewelry. Either way, pick something up here.

Know of any other great places to find holiday gifts? Comment below with your favorites and help other Blasties navigate the holiday minefield!

(ARA) — You’ve made your holiday list and checked it twice, but what happens when the salesperson helping you is naughty, not nice? Crowded stores, long lines, low inventory and cranky shoppers rushing to find that perfect holiday gift can often lead to a “perfect storm” of bad service.

That’s why many retailers are ensuring that they have service quality systems in place to avoid the typical holiday mishaps between shoppers and service staff, according to the American Society for Quality, which provides service quality training for many industries, including retail.

“The top four causes of customer dissatisfaction are out of stock items, discontinued items, returns and shipping charges,” says John Goodman, an ASQ customer service expert. “These are issues that are easily resolvable if sales staff have the right tools and training.”

Bigger stories like Bath & Body Works, for example, provide staff with training to handle these kinds of complaints. Its sales staff takes steps such as maintaining eye contact with customers during every step of the sale. They are also trained in how to detect and respond to unspoken needs and are told to “treat a return like a sale” because a properly handled return will often move the customer to buy something else.

Best Buy is ranked highest in customer satisfaction among national and multi-regional major appliance retailers, according to a new report by J.D. Power and Associates. One key reason is that they make customer service training a priority.

In addition to a rigorous certification process, employees are well-educated on complicated products and solutions, enabling them to better help customers, says Mike Fisher, senior director of Lean Six Sigma for Best Buy’s corporate campus in Richfield, Minn..

The store’s TRUST model ensures that employees thank consumers for coming into the store, respect their opinions, understand their needs, solve challenges together and thank and support the ongoing consumer relationship.

“Our goal is to put more sales staff or ‘blue shirts’ on the sales floor instead of handling paper work and other duties,” Fisher said. “That way they are immediately available to assist consumers with their questions and needs.”

While many retailers will make an extra effort to ensure excellent customer service this holiday season, Goodman suggests that customers take these steps to help ensure a positive sales experience:

• Get to know the sales clerks at your favorite stores. This ensures that you will be in the loop regarding stores sales and events. A salesperson who knows you may also be more apt to help if a problem does arise.
• Research store policies before you buy. Being aware of policies regarding cash refunds or sale merchandise returns can help you avoid problems later on.

So what happens when you run into a problem? Goodman offers these tips for successfully handling service complaints.

• Take three deep breaths — when you are upset you may not think clearly and therefore often don’t present your case logically.
• Tell the company rep that you know that the problem is not their fault – this reduces their defensiveness.
• After outlining the facts, state exactly what you want the rep to do for you – if you don’t they might go off in the wrong direction in developing a response.
• Don’t ask for cash compensation for your time — companies can almost never do that, but they can give you credit toward your bill.
• Never use profanity — most reps are authorized to hang up on you if you do.
• If you have been a long-term customer, point that out but don’t exaggerate — employees can often access your actual purchase history.

The simplest and most important thing you can do is to recognize good service when you receive it by remembering to say thank you.

Courtesy of ARA Content