If there’s one thing that’s almost as good as drinking beer, it’s eating food cooked with it. Here are my favorites.
Beer Chicken
Ingredients:
- One whole frying chicken
- 12 oz. can of beer
- Garlic powder, chili powder, pepper, white pepper
Mix the peppers and garlic and chili powders in a bowl. Rub seasoning mixture into the entire outside of the chicken.
Now the third best part: crack open a can of beer, any kind really, although I do encourage you to try all different types. Do something with half of the beer in the can. If using a pan, you can pour it in bottom-or just drink it.
Now the second best part: stick the half-full can (we’re optimistic because this is a proven good recipe) up the chicken. There are two possible orifices in the chicken-stick the can where you think it belongs.
Oven: stand the chicken upright on the can in a pan (possibly with leftover beer in it) and place in an oven. Roast at 425 for 45 minutes to an hour (depending on the size of the chicken). Lower the temperature to 350 to cook the rest of the way (again, depending on the size of the chicken). When the juices run clear, it is finished. Consult the package of your chicken for proper cooking times.
Finally the best part: carve and eat the chicken and remove the can if you wish. The evaporated beer will make the chicken extra-moist and delicious. Salt and pepper to taste.
Beer Hot Dogs
Already a match, the powers of these two favorites can be combined into this super dish.
Ingredients:
- 12 oz. can or bottle of beer (again, feel free to experiment)
- 1/2 bottle of ketchup
- 3-6 tablespoons of brown sugar
- White onion
- One (12-16 oz.) package of hot dogs
- Worcestershire sauce
Pour beer into a pot (don’t drink any this time) and bring to a boil. Cut hot dogs into small, bite-size pieces. Cut up the onion. Add three tablespoons brown sugar and onion to beer-dogs. Pour in a cup of ketchup and mix. Reduce heat to low and cover. Periodically stir. After 20 minutes, assess the beer-dog situation. The sauce should be thick and pasty; adjust ketchup and brown sugar content accordingly and also for taste. Simmer for 20 more minutes. Take off the heat and let sit, covered, for 10 more minutes. Serve in grinder rolls or any other way.
BU, bitches!
I highly recommend cooking with beer. For this style of cooking (which I make up as I go along), get a wok. The wok is phenomenal.
I like to throw two pieces of chicken breast in my wok. The best beer I’ve ever cooked with is Smithwicks (pronounced “Smitticks” or “Smithicks,” don’t sound like an ass at the beer store). Throw in some garlic and my personal favorite Old Bay powder (this is also the secret ingredient to my Bloody Mary’s.) Cover it up and, if you are like me, cook it until you see black on the edges.
If you are feeling really ambitious, boil some pasta, throw a canned white sauce on it and then cut up the chicken and mix it all together. People will think you knew what the hell you were doing when in reality you threw a bunch of stuff in and heated it up.
It’s good stuff, but trust me your girlfriend will catch on that you do the same thing every time. Screw her, she should move out anyway. But, I digress.