We asked Loquat’s lead vocalist, Kylee Swenson, to give us a few words on the story behind each of the band’s tracks on their sophomore release, “Secrets of the Sea.”

“I would like people to listen to the stories,” she says. “I hope people connect with it in some way.”

“Harder Hit”

Our drummer Christopher was going through a rough patch in his life, precipitated by some pretty awful circumstances. A couple close friends died, his apartment burned down (he was carried out in the middle of the night by a fireman), he lost his job…. After that, it was like he expected and almost invited bad things to happen him. The only way I could think of getting through to him was writing this song about creating a path through all the obstacles. It’s like trying to get through a really dense forest. You have to break some branches to do it.

“Who Can Even Remember?”

Years ago, I lived in this amazing little town in Germany called Garmisch-Partenkirchen. It was like a fairy tale with the mountains and the emerald lake and the cows being herded through the town before sunset. Everything about that time was like a dream. Then I moved back to California, and reality set in. This song is basically about being young and naƒ¯ve and trusting people too much. As time passes, you gain perspective, and many of the crappy events from your past don’t matter anymore. And hopefully you are a little wiser and don’t make the same mistakes you once did.

“Sit Sideways”

My friend Noel’s dad died a while ago, and it broke my heart because I could see that he was really in pain about it, but I couldn’t do anything to help him. Shortly after, about 30 of us went on a houseboat trip to Shasta Lake, and I wrote this about us distracting Noel and his wife. I’m not suggesting that drugs and alcohol are a solution to any of life’s problems, but in times of intense grief, it’s good to have a little reprieve, and getting drunk with a bunch of your friends on a houseboat can temporarily relieve the pain.

“Big Key, Little Door”

I’ve had a few too many moments where lack of confidence got the best of me, and I’ve had to give myself a lot of pep talks. This is one reason I loved Alice in Wonderland. In this song, I picture myself as Alice when she’s in the long hall trying to figure out which door to take. Every decision she makes is wrong. She shrinks and can’t reach the key on the table; then she grows and can’t fit through the tiny door. Finally, she starts crying, shrinks again and is swept under the door by her own tears and washes up on a beach where she meets a bunch of talking animals arguing about something. It’s all about fearlessly taking a leap into the unknown.

“Comedown’s Worse”

Some people I know, including myself, have short fuses. Driving is one of those things that can make people go crazy and do stupid things. But in general, when people set you off, it doesn’t pay to engage or light the fuse. Most of us will regret letting the volcano blow. We all need to chill out a little, step back and understand that-albeit in a somewhat cheesy way-Bobby McFerrin (“Don’t worry, be happy”) and Richard Carlson (“Don’t sweat the small stuff [and it's all small stuff]“) were right.

“These Kinds of Friends”

When I was about three years old, my mom had a really serious brain disease called Encephalitis, which kept her in the hospital for a long time. My dad was either working or at the hospital, and I was an only child, so I remember being alone a lot. I had a nanny, but she didn’t like me too much, so I would spend my time walking around my neighborhood in South Minneapolis talking to the birds and the squirrels. Even as an adult, I sometimes still prefer those kinds of friends to people, and I love people, but you know…sometimes you need a break. Sometimes your cat is a better friend to you than anyone else.

“Go Hibernate”

A lot of people assume all our songs are about romantic relationships, which is pretty far from the truth. But here’s the relationship song: My husband (and Loquat bass player) Anthony and I both have fire-y personalities, and there are times when he makes me want to light the house on fire and run screaming. The ironic part of this song was that, on New Year’s Day, we were watching March of the Penguins, and Anthony was so moved by it, he decided that day that he would ask me to marry him. And I decided that day to write song about how insane he makes me. But the conflict resolves in the end of the song, with me coming to my senses and calming down.

“Clearly Now…”

Every once in a while, someone will say something or write something about you (especially with the Internet being a forum to air out people’s dirty laundry publicly) that will make you feel like you’ve been stabbed. This is about growing a thicker skin. Maybe if the shy kids in junior high and high school listen to this, it’ll help them to toughen up a little. I pretty much hated 7^th grade to 10^th grade because I was so sensitive, and the other kids were so shitty.

“In My Sleep”

A few years ago, I got a message from my friend Keith. I immediately thought, “I can’t believe it’s been four months, and I haven’t talked to him.” Then I found out that it wasn’t my former bandmate Keith Krate who called me but another friend…to tell me that Keith had died of an overdose. It really broke my heart. I felt guilty for letting too much time pass and not being a part of his life when I should’ve. And I just felt sad that one of the funniest, most talented people I knew was gone. For the next two weeks, I kept seeing something in my kitchen, peripherally. I started to freak out because it felt like he was there. And I started having nightmares about ghosts. This was my way of making peace with him.

“Shaky Like the Flu”

The last two songs are inspired by the movie Big Fish. In this one, I’m speaking to the son of the apparently delusional father who kept embellishing his stories to make his life seem more interesting. When the father dies, the son realizes that not only was there a lot more truth to his dad’s stories than he thought, but his embellishments were part of the reason people loved him. In the bridge, I bring my own life into the mix, talking about how my great-grandfather and grandfather had just passed away, and they were “off the pier and rowing,” on to the next phase (an afterlife, if you will). It’s tough when you realize a whole generation of your family is almost gone.

“Spiral Stairs or Escalators”

This is part two of my ode to Big Fish. I used to hate it when my dad told me to “lighten up” (mainly because he sounded angry when he said it). But being lighthearted is a good thing. Also, it’s hard to figure out your path in life early on. When I was a kid, I always thought I’d have my own house with a backyard, but here I am living in one of the most expensive cities in the world (San Francisco), and I can still only afford to rent. No matter how much you plan, life doesn’t ever turn out exactly how you thought it would. But you gotta run with it and just try to be happy.

Here’s the info on the whole Evil Iguana Productions crew:

Craig Deering

Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Actor
Age: 21
School: Columbia ’10, Film Major
Favorite Role: Craig, Joker
Favorite Film: Fight Club, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Dark Knight, The Departed, Smokin’ Aces
Favorite EI Production: The Dark Knight Trailer Spoof, The Allen and Craig Show Ep 5+, Fuzz
Quote: “I Swear one day I will save the world!”
Random Fact: He will marry Ellen Page or Hayley Williams one day … they just don’t know that yet

Allen Murphy

Director/Writer/Actor
Age: 20
School: DuPage ’09, Columbia ’11, Film major
Favorite Role: Officer Murphy, Himself
Favorite Film: Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, The Departed, Royal Tenenbaums, Rocky, Amadeus
Favorite EI Production: Fuzz, RIP EIP
Quote: “I’m not really an ass, I just play one online.”
Random Fact: Has never eaten Spaghetti O’s

Kyle Bridges

Writer/Actor
Age: 20
School: DuPage ’09, Columbia ’11, Film Major
Favorite Role: Mario, James Gordon, Kyle
Random Fact: As a child, Kyle used to be a model. Yeah, he doesn’t know what happened either.

Lars Heemskerk

Actor
Age: 20
School: Univ. Illinois ’10,‚ Music Major
Favorite Role: Aquaman, Captain Justice Dude Guy, Lars
Favorite Film: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars IV-VI, Anything with Jason Statham
Favorite EI Production: Allen and Craig Show, Fuzz
Quote: “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World”
Random Fact: Lars loves the Clarinet. if you think thats lame he will eat your unborn children.

Joe Korbel

Actor
Age: 19
School: DuPage ’10, Gen Ed
Random Fact: Joe is the cameraman for many of The Allen and Craig show episodes.

Dan Drake

Actor/Website Administator
Age: 19
School: University of Illinois-Chicago, ’11 Pre-Med
Favorite Role: Luigi, Harvey Dent
Favorite Film: The Boondock Saints, Fight Club, Iron Man, The Dark Knight
Favorite EI Production: Fuzz, Dark Knight Spoof
Random Fact: Dan was Luigi in “Fuzz”

The following was released by Warner Bros. Thursday:

“Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince” Moves To Summer 2009

(August 14, 2008 – Burbank, CA) – Warner Bros. Pictures today announced that it has moved back the release date of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” to Summer 2009. The sixth installment of the blockbuster Harry Potter franchise will now open day-and-date domestically and in the major international markets on July 17, 2009. The announcement was made by Alan Horn, President and Chief Operating Officer, Warner Bros.

In making the announcement, Mr. Horn stated, “Our reasons for shifting ‘Half-Blood Prince’ to summer are twofold: we know the summer season is an ideal window for a family tent pole release, as proven by the success of our last Harry Potter film, which is the second-highest grossing film in the franchise, behind only the first installment. Additionally, like every other studio, we are still feeling the repercussions of the writers’ strike, which impacted the readiness of scripts for other films-changing the competitive landscape for 2009 and offering new windows of opportunity that we wanted to take advantage of. We agreed the best strategy was to move ‘Half-Blood Prince’ to July, where it perfectly fills the gap for a major tent pole release for mid-summer.”

Jeff Robinov, President of Warner Bros. Pictures Group, confirmed, “The release date change does not alter the production schedule for this or future Harry Potter films. Post-production on ‘Half-Blood Prince’ was completed on time, and the studio’s release plans for the two-part ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ will not be affected by this change. We know Harry Potter fans are eagerly anticipating seeing the final chapters unfold onscreen. In fact, the good news for them is that the gap will now be shortened between ‘Half-Blood Prince’ and the first part of ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.’”

Commenting on the release date change for “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” David Heyman, the producer of all the Harry Potter films, offered, “When Jeff Robinov explained the rationale behind moving the release date of ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ to July 2009, it was immediately apparent that this offered us the potential to reach the widest possible audience. I am extremely proud of this latest film and of the work of David Yates and our incomparable cast; I believe we have developed and pushed the series further still. We are all looking forward to sharing it with Harry Potter fans around the world, even if we have to wait just a bit longer.”

David Yates, the director of both “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” and “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” and who will also helm “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,’ added, “It has been a joy to work on ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.’ Dan, Rupert and Emma and all our returning young cast continue to blossom, and our new cast members bring fresh color and life to Hogwarts. Even as we put the finishing touches on this latest film, we are already beginning preparations on the final two films-we start filming in February-and I am excited to bring this remarkable series to the exciting and moving conclusion its loyal fans deserve.”

In “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” Voldemort is tightening his grip on both the Muggle and wizarding worlds and Hogwarts is no longer the safe haven it once was. Harry suspects that dangers may even lie within the castle, but Dumbledore is more intent upon preparing him for the final battle that he knows is fast approaching. Meanwhile, the students are under attack from a very different adversary as teenage hormones rage across the ramparts. Love is in the air, but tragedy lies ahead and Hogwarts may never be the same again.

Warner Bros. Pictures presents a Heyday Films production, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” David Yates, who directed last year’s summer blockbuster “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” returns to direct “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” David Heyman and David Barron are the producers, with Lionel Wigram serving as executive producer. Steve Kloves wrote the screenplay, based on the book by J.K. Rowling.

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson are reprising their roles as young wizards Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The film also stars Jim Broadbent, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis and Julie Walters. The cast also features David Bradley, Jessie Cave, Frank Dillane, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Evanna Lynch, Helen McCrory, Natalia Tena, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, and Bonnie Wright.

“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” will be released by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.

Here’s the procedure for making the perfect hamburger straight from the horse’s mouth.

Weber’s “The Perfect Burger”

1. Take meat out of the refrigerator about 20 to 30 minutes before grilling, and cover it well. When cold meat hits a grill, it makes for uneven cooking–and promotes the chances of the burgers not being cooked well enough inside.

2. Use olive oil to lightly coat the patty (in addition to your seasonings) before placing it on the grill to bolster moistness and to help prevent sticking.

3. When forming the patties, depress the middle of them with your thumb before placing them on the grill. This way, the burgers won’t have the normal rising in the middle after being cooked. You’ll have a flatter surface for all those wonderful condiments, and the burger will be easier to eat.

4. Grill traditional burgers for at least 8 minutes (4 minutes a side) and flip only once so you’re not constantly opening the grill, which lets the heat escape.

5. Make sure you use an instant read thermometer to ensure the burger is 160 degrees inside before taking off the grill.

6. Let the burgers sit for five minutes before serving; this will help keep the juices in the burger and prevent them from flowing out on the plate.

Eisley’s success has also offered Sherri DuPree an opportunity artistically to branch out from music.

She does the illustrations for all the band’s merchandise, and was recently approached by Macbeth Footwear to create a shoe for the company.

“I was really excited,” she said. “I’ve never gotten to do anything, you know, that wasn’t directly for our band. So it was cool.”

Her design, based on the “Invasion” from the band’s sophomore album “Combinations, features lyrics on the soles and on sides and a picture of a girl “in this alien thing,” she says.

A self-admitted “sci-fi nerd,” DuPree said she wrote the song after reading Jack Finney’s “The Body Snatchers.”

The shoe is available at macbethfootwear.com.

This is the original Heretic FAQ by Tom Laufert.

********************************************************************************

/=======\ /=\ /=\ /======\
\==| |==/ | | | | | |====/
| | | /==\ | | |===\
| | | \==/ | | |===/
| | | | | | | |====\
\=/ \=/ \=/ \======/
__ __ ______ ________ _______ __________ ___ _______
/. \ / .\ /. __ \ / . ___ \ /. ___ \ / __. .__ \ /. .\ / .__. \
| .| |. | | .| \/ |. | \. \ | .| \/ \/ |. | \/ \ . / /. / \../
|. | | .| |. |—\ | .| | .| |. |—\ | .| |. .| |. | \/
| .|–|. | | .|—/ |. |—/. / | .|—/ |. | | . | | .|
|. |–| .| |. | | .|—\ .\ |. | | .| |. .| |. |
| .| |. | | .| |. | \. \| .| |. | | . | | .|
|. | | .| |. | | .| | .||. | | .| |. .| |. |
| .| |. | | .|_/\ |. | |. || .|_/\ |. | | . | | .|
|. | | .| \_____/ \ ./ \ .\\_____/ \/ \. ./ |. |
| .| |. | \/ \. \ \./ | .|
|. | | .| /—————— \. \————————–\ |. |
| .| |. | \——————- \. \————————-/ | .| /\
|. | | .| \. \_/\ \. .\__/..\
\/ \/ \____/ \________/

______ _______
(. . . ) /\ /. ___ .\
| ._._.) /..\ / .( ) .\
|.| /./\.\ |. | |. |
|.|—\ /./ \.\ | .| | .|
|.|—/ (.(____).) |. | |. |
|.| | ._._. .| | .| | .|
|.| |.( ).| \. .\_/\.\/
|.| |.| |.| \______\.\
|.| |.| |.| \.\
|_| |_| |_| \/

VERSION 1.0

By: Tom Laufert,
E-MAIL: laufert@ix.netcom.com
IRC: GOR-GOR

_________________________________
I. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
———————————

I guess this is my disclaimer (since I don’t want to get Sued). So
don’t blame me if this makes you want to kill yourself or kill someone else
or destroy things (as if it would . So don’t say I didn’t warn you!

______________
ii. Trademarks
————–

Heretic and Raven are trademarks of Raven Software, Inc. DOOM and id
are trademarks of id software, Inc. Descent is a trademark of Interplay
Productions. Rise of the Triad is a trademark of Apogee Software. All other
Trademarks in this FAQ are hereby assumed.

____________________
iii. Please don’t…
——————–

Please do not print this FAQ in any other form other than
electronical.

___________________
iv. Agknowlegements
——————-
These are the people that helped me write this FAQ. THANK YOU ALL!!!

-American McGee: He helped me with all of the stuff that id did. THANKS!!!

-Joseph Seymour: FTP List Thanks!

-Paul Falstad: THANK YOU! He compiled the whole secret list!

If I left anyone out please let me know! Thanks!

________________________
v. Statement of accuracy
————————

I tried to make this FAQ as true as possible so if you find an error
PLEASE, if you have any suggestions for this FAQ LET ME KNOW…It can only be
as good as you want it to!

_________________
Table of Contents
—————–

1-1 What is Heretic?
1-2 So, what does that mean? A combined effort?…
1-3 OK, what’s this “engine all about?
1-4 Who was involved in making Heretic?
1-5 So, this is another DOOM clone!?
1-6 What are DESCENT and Rise of the Triad?
1-7 Is Raven software making a Heretic ][ ?
2-1 Where can I find Heretic?
2-2 FTP Sites
2-3 BBS's
2-4 Retail stores
2-5 Mail order
2-5-1 What is the difference between Mail order and Shareware?
2-6 Are there any revisions?
3-1 Monsters, Weapons, and more!!!
3-2 Monsters
3-3 Weapons
3-4 Items & Artifacts
3-5 New features
4-1 Spoilers!!!
4-2 The cheat codes!
4-3 The Secrets
4-3-1 Episode one
4-3-2 Episode two
4-3-3 Episode three
4-4 Monster count
4-5 Item count
4-6 Where can I find more information about Heretic?
5-1 What is a Multiplayer game?
5-1 What is Deathmatch play?
5-2 What is Cooperative play?
5-3 Hey! This is cool, where can I find more people?
6-1 Troubleshooting

========
PART ONE
========

____________________
1-1 What is Heretic?
--------------------

Heretic is a game created by Raven Software and published by id
Software. It has some of the same aspects of DOOM, such as texture-mapping.
It also has the 4 player network game that was the "HOT" thing of DOOM. It
also has the same basic engine that DOOM originally used. This included the
360 degree scrolling as seen in DOOM.

As the story goes;

When you first saw the seven candles, you knew. You knew - but any
Sidhe would have known in the magic of the reflections pulsing across the
ceiling of the Elder's chamber: each flame with its own power to burn, each
flame tied irrevocably to the flow of the Earth's breath - the seven flames
were the armies of the seven kings of Earth.

Circling the candles stood the Elders of the Sidhe, leaders of an
ancient elf race adept in arcane sorcery and keepers of the Tomes of Power.

From the East came the evil foretold by your forefathers: the three
Serpent Riders, guardians of death everlasting. Their form was shrouded by
black cloaks. Only their eyes were revealed; sunken with evil , dreadful
intensity. As a sign of power they brought peace to the Eastern provinces.
Those who believed in the sign created a temple in their honor; and it bore
the mark of the crossed trident. Their worshipers were the Order of the
Sign; blind followers, without will, void of spirit. As the power of the
Order grew, even the seven kings of the Earth followed like cattle behind
them. And after they controlled the great nations two Riders left the world.
Only D'Sparil, the weakest of them remained while his disciples traveled the
earth cleansing it in preparation for its descent.

Scorned by the other people of Earth, the Sidhe possessing powers of
their own, remained unaffected by the spell of the Riders. The Sidhe are now
considered the Heretics, the unclean, fit only to be wiped from the face of
the Earth. The disciples of D'Sparil conspired with the kings of the earth
to remove the last lands of apostasy. And while the armies of the seven
nations gathered to destroy the Sidhe, the Elders convened to discuss the
fate of your people. When all voices had spoke against the Order, the seven
Elders extinguished the seven candles flames simultaneously. At that silent
instant, a brilliant flash of light came from the east and the armies that
had gathered against you were no more. Drained by their efforts, the Elders
fell to the floor, listening to the single painful scream echoing from
the now-scorched battlefield.

But then the forces of the Abyss took their vengeance. The ether had
quaked with the Elders' magic effort, and the curse of the Order followed the
trail unerringly to the Elders' conventicle. Suddenly the foul odor of death
came and the earth opened to engulf the Elders in flames; the white-bright
fire clinging to their flesh, knowingly and eagerly eating each layer of skin.
Too, pouring forth from the earth like squirming maggots, came the forces of
evil both beast and undead. They attacked in hordes like packs of dogs, first
surrounding the weakest and biting and clawing their victims to the ground.
As each Sidhe fell several beasts would gather to chew into their bellies like
pigs into slop, their heads often deeply submerged into the gut with the
victim's intestines slung half-eaten upon their own squirming bodies. When
the day was done, the few remaining Sidhe were scattered throughout the land.
The Abyss had taken the tomes and artifacts of your people as spoils of their
victory. Alone, without weapons, the surviving Sidhe would surely perish at
the hands of the Order of the Triad. The Elders' destruction of the seven
armies had gone for naught.

While the other Sidhe had hid, their spirit broken, you thirsted for
vengeance and rode East into the wilderness, in search of D'Sparil. Now you
stand before the City of the Damned, its air thick with the stench of rot.
Your hate drives you to see these creatures oozing their heart's ichor before
you. Beyond these gates the dead and the creatures of the night writhe in
dark corners, their bodies aching for your blood. With luck, some of your
peoples' ancient artifacts can be found hidden amongst the dark passages
beyond. For with only a staff as your weapon, the world is surely damned.

___________________________________________________
1-2 So, what does that mean? A combined effort?...
---------------------------------------------------

This means that id let Raven use the engine. John Romeo
helped in the making of the game, so they felt it was good enough to have id
on the box. Everyone at id looked over the game to see if John was doing the
right thing. Other than that, some of the people at id got some of their
maps in the final release.

_______________________________________
1-3 OK, what's this "engine" all about?
---------------------------------------

I'm not really going to go into the details of the engine of Heretic,
because that was covered in The "Official" DOOM FAQ by Hank Luekart (you can
find this almost anywhere, like ftp.cdrom.com).

There are other things that are in Heretic that aren't in DOOM, for
example, looking up and down. I will describe in detail later about what all
of the new things are, and what they do later.

_______________________________________
1-4 Who was involved in making Heretic?
---------------------------------------

Shane Gurno: Artist

Brian Raffel: Artist

Steve Raffel: Artist

Brian Pelletier: Artist

Jim Sumwalt: Artist

Scott Rice: Artist

Ben Gokey: Programming

Chris Rhinehart: Programming

Michael Raymond-Judy: Level Design

Kevin Schilder: Sound/Music

Brian Raffel: Project Director

Paul Radek: Sound Drivers

John Romeo: Executive Producer

____________________________________
1-5 So, this is another DOOM clone!?
------------------------------------

No! This is a game made by Raven & id software using the same engine
that made DOOM (haven't you been listening???).

_______________________________________________
1-6 What are DESCENT and Rise of the Triad?
-----------------------------------------------

These are independent games from independent companies. They have
nothing to do with Heretic. DESCENT was made by Parallax productions and
ROTT was made by Apogee software.

___________________________________________
1-7 Is Raven Software making a Heretic ][ ?
-------------------------------------------
Yes, this is a newsgroup article, from which he got from a PC GAMER.

--snip--
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The following articles and Heretic II are from PC Gamer magazine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Heretic II

"The guys at Raven Software are already at work on the sequel to their
excellent fantasy kill-fest based on the ever popular DOOM engine. John
Romeo of id Software says Heretic II will be quite a bit different from
the original; for starters, players will choose to go through the game as
a warrior, wizard or cleric, and the classes can be mixed in multiplayer
games. And where the weapons in Heretic corresponded pretty closely to
their modern counterparts in DOOM, Heretic II will have an all-new weapon
system. The new game is scheduled to ship sometime this summer."

--snip--

This information came directly from the PC GAMER magazine Vol.2 No.4. I am
only repeating it, and cannot guarantee that any of it will be true.

--snip--
Well, now we have something to do over the summer, while we wait for
Quake It sounds great!!

========
PART TWO
========

_____________________________
2-1 Where can I find Heretic?
-----------------------------

Although these aren't the only places that Heretic can be found they
are probably the best. They are updated most often, plus they have stuff for
DOOM and DOOM ][.

_____________
2-2 FTP sites
-------------

Where it says "***" is htvXXd1.zip & htvXXd2.zip. Where the "XX" is
the version number.

ftp.cdrom.com /.5/idgames/idstuff
ftp.idsoftware.com /idstuff/heretic
ftp.wustl.edu /pub/MSDOS_UPLOADS/doom/HERETIC
/pub/MSDOS_UPLOADS/heretic
ftp.uwp.edu /pub/incoming/id
ftp.uml.edu /msdos/games/temp
ftp.leo.org /pub/comp/platforms/pc/msdos/games
ftp.digex.com /pub/access/brpinc
ftp.dungeon.com /.9/doom/NEWSTUFF
ftp.iglou.com /pc/games/temp
/pc/recommended/games
ftp.metrolink.com /pub/dos
ftp.pht.com /pub/games/doom/NEWSTUFF
/pub/games/msdos/top_five
/pub/msdos/games/3-D
ftp.std.com /pub/Mikek
/pub/vbar
ftp.wais.com /pub/incoming
ftp.xmission.com /pub/users/dfaust
/pub/users/dtubbs
ftp.gatech.edu /pub/submissions
ftp.tamu.edu /incoming
ftp.cis.ufl.edu /pub/staff/bjs

_________
2-3 BBS's
---------

My best advice here is to look around!!! I know for a that almost
every area code should have a BBS with Heretic on it, but any here's Software
Creations...

Software Creations
(508)-365-2359 2400 baud
(508)-368-7036 9600-14.4k v.32bis
(508)-368-4137 14.4-16.8k HST/DS

_________________
2-4 Retail stores
-----------------

You can also buy the Shareware version of Heretic in Retail stores.
This I believe costs $7.00 and you get the Shareware version. So, if you
got this FAQ by downloading it, you probably won't buy Heretic at a Retail
store.

______________
2-5 Mail order
--------------

You can order all of Heretic directly from id software. This is
the whole game. NOT the shareware version. It costs $40.00 plus Shipping &
Handling.

_______________________________________________________________________
2-5-1 What is the difference between Mail order and Shareware versions?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Mail order version of Heretic is the FULL game. You cannot make
copies of it and distribute it! The full game has all three episodes and
new weapons.

____________________________________
2-6 Is there a revision for Heretic?
------------------------------------

No, there is only one version of Heretic right now. Id software is
releasing a revision very soon. The revision will fix all of the problems
that people are having.

==========
PART THREE
==========

__________________________________
3-1 Monsters, Weapons, and more!!!
----------------------------------

This section has the information on the monsters, items, and the
new features of Heretic.

____________
3-2 Monsters
------------

Here are the monsters inhabiting the world of Heretic...

Gargoyle: Little red demon/imp type monsters that fly. They come in two
varieties, normal and Fire. The Fire Gargoyles throw fireballs but you
don't know it's them until they fire away . The normal ones just come
up to you and claw on you.

* Golem: These are just big walking rocks that beat you up. These also come
in two varieties, normal and Nitrogolem. The Nitrogolems throw flaming
skulls at you.

* Undead Warriors: These are fun They are skeletons with armor and axes.
Their axes come in two varieties, green (normal), and red. Watch out for
the red axes, they pack a punch!

+ Sabreclaw: Somehow these things remind me of the alien from the movie
Aliens..They are quite fast, they can't fly or shoot but they can tear you
to pieces!

+* Weredragon: These things are nasty!! They may be slow as hell, but when
they throw their fire you better get out of the way!

+ Ophidian: These are snake like creatures that carry tridents. When you
first encounter an Ophidian they shoot 3 pearl-like balls at you. Then they
shoot a fireball at you. They are on of the tougher creatures in Heretic.

Disciple of D'Sparil: They are the pupils of D'Sparil, they can fly and
they fire a three way magic missile.

Ironlich: A big floating head...It is the boss of the first episode.
It has a multitude of attacks. A tornado that follows you around, it doesn't
much unless you stay in it. He also shoots a wall of fireballs at you. Last
but not least, he shoots a blue sphere similar to the powered-up version of
the dragon claw, that hits and explodes into blue arrows.

+ Maulotaur: This is the boss for episode 2. He is quite tough...And he
also has a multitude of attacks. He shoots a five way fire bolt. He fires
a stream of fire along the ground that is very powerful. He also charges at
you. Very tough!

+ D'Sparil: This is one tough wizard!!! He is the boss for episode 3.
When you first meet him he is riding a serpent. Then you kill that and he
reappears into his main form. In this form he shoots a lightning bolt
at you, and he disappears at random. He also summons Disciples of D'Sparil
at will.

___________
3-3 Weapons
-----------
Here is a list for all of the weapons in Heretic.
note: The term 'Powered-up' is the status of the weapon after using a
'Tome of Power'

1. Staff: Nothing magical about this weapon. It's a stick. Unless it's
powered-up then it's as strong as an oak!

Gauntlets: The gauntlets replace your normal beatin' stick and deliver a
devastating electrical attack. Powered-up, it sucks enemies from a further
distance and drains their life to increase yours!

2. Elvenwand: Your base weapon. If you are using this it's time to run.
Unless it's powered-up, in which case your enemy should take the 'run'
option.

3. Crossbow: The cross bow shoots three magical arrows at once delivering
heavy damage at short range or hitting multiple targets at a distance.
Powered-up, this puppy blasts 5 slammin' magic arrows for a good strong
head-pounding punishment!

4. Dragon's Claw: Firing a barrage of explosive magic, this weapon is perfect
for clearing monster-infested hallways. Powered-up, the 'Ripper' delivers a
four-way lethal blast, rippin' your enemy apart.

5. Hellstaff: Now you're one bad elf. The Hellstaff fires at a high rate of
speed and does heavy damage. Powered-up, this baby slams out a bone-crunching
Rain From Hell that will leave your enemies wet - in their own steaming blood!

6. Phoenix Rod: The Phoenix Rod delivers and explosive charge that will
decimate the normal baddie into bits. Powered-up, it's time to deliver some
deep-fried damage as the rod pours out a steady, hot stream of raw inferno!
Watch 'em scream and burn - it's great!

7. Firemace: The Firemace is a rapid firing weapon that shoots bouncing,
explosive balls! Powered-up, Watch Out... this fires extremely large and
powerful Balls 'o Death!

_____________________
3-4 Items & Artifacts
---------------------

Here is a list of all of the items and artifacts that are in Heretic.

Blue Vial: +10 Health.

Quartz Flask: +25 Health.

Mystic Urn: Full health.

Shield: +100 to Armor.

Enchanted Shield: +200 to Armor.

Torch: Brightens your view.

Map Scroll: A map of the entire area - including hidden locations.

Bog of Holding: Increases the capacity of your inventory.

Shadowsphere: Temporarily renders you nearly invisible and invulnerable to
man-made weapons.

Tyketto's Tome of Power: Temporarily increases the power of your weapons or
"power-up." The Tome will appear in the top-right corner of the screen while
it is active.

Valador's Ring of Invulnerability: Temporarily renders you impervious to
attack.

Inhilicon's Wings of Wrath: Temporarily enables you to fly. The wings will
appear at the top-left corner of the screen while this item is active.

Darchala's Chaos Device: Teleports the player to the beginning of the level.

Torpol's Morph Ovum: Morphs your victim into a chicken. Finger-lickin' good!
(cannot be used on Ironlich, Maulotaur, and D'Sparil)

Delmintalitar's Time Bomb of the Ancients: Drops a transparent bomb that
explodes after one second. Oh yes...it will hurt you as well if you're near
it.

=========
PART FOUR
=========

_______________
4-1 Spoilers!!!
---------------

This is the Spoiler section so if you don't want to ruin the game
don't read this section!!!

___________________
4-2 The cheat codes
-------------------

Here are the cheat codes for Heretic.

RAMBO: Get all weapons
SKEL: Get all keys
QUICKEN: God mode!!!
KITTY: Toggles clipping mode
MASSACRE: Kills all monsters on a level
SHAZAM: Power-up weapons
RAVMAP: Shows full map in map mode (typing RAVMAP again shows all objects)
PONCE: Full health
ENGAGE XY: Warp to another level. X= episode number Y= level number
COCKADOODLEDOO: Turn into a chicken!
GIMME: Get artifact
after you type 'GIMME' type one of these letters for the specified effect.

a: Ring of Invulnerability
b: Shadowsphere
c: Quartz Flask
d: Mystic Urn
e: Tome of Power
f: Torch
g: Time Bomb of the Ancients
h: Morph Ovum
I: Wings of Wrath
j: Chaos Device

______________
4-3 Secrets!!!
--------------

This is a list of all the secrets in Heretic. For each official
secret, I've included the sector number (which is only useful for
people with wad editors), the hex coordinates (which is probably not
useful, since I don't know of any cheat keys to give you your
coordinates), the decimal coordinates (again, only useful for people
with wad editors), and an explanation of how to find the secret.
There are also descriptions of how to find other useful items in the
game.
_________________
4-3-1 Episode one
-----------------

List compiled by Paul Falstad (pjf@cts.com), last updated Jan 25, 1995

E1M1: The Docks

1 6 < 21c0000,fc6d0000> ( 540, -915)
In the southeast corner of your starting room, behind the barrels, is
a secret door (hit the space bar on the light patch of wall) containing
a gargoyle and a silver shield.

2 144 <f88a0000,fcbc0000> (-1910, -836)
Behind the yellow door is a hallway which leads west to a corner leading
north. If you walk up to the southwest part of the corner, a door will
open revealing gauntlets.

3 15 <fd5c0000,fed30000> ( -676, -301)

4 24 < b00000, 4d40000> ( 176, 1236)
In the area behind the yellow door is a circular area with a switch
on a ledge to the north of it. Just to the north of the switch is a
secret door (under the low ceiling) leading to a crossbow (#3) and a
tome. Hitting the switch opens the door to the south of the
circular area, as well as a door south of the windowed area to your
north. The door leads to a teleporter which takes you to the lake
north of that area. There is a Golem standing by the teleporter
exit, so be careful. Out on the lake you will find some goodies and
some warriors guarding a bag of holding. The teleporter to the east
(#4) gets you out of the lake.

E1M2: The Dungeons
1 83 < 2580000,fb550000> ( 600, -1195)
South of the central area is a door which has three other doors behind it.
Just to the right of the last door is a secret door which leads to a tome;
also, it provides a convenient way to kill the warriors who would otherwise
be throwing stuff at you from behind a one-way wall.

2 96 < 5a00000, 600000> ( 1440, 96)
In the southeast is a room with seven pillars in it. To the west of the
pillars is an area with a switch that opens a door (#2) east of the yellow
key, which leads to a staircase with lots of monsters on it. When you reach
the bottom of the staircase, a dragon claw is revealed to the southwest.
Be careful of the ceiling when getting it, though.

3 32 <fe9a0000,fbe00000> ( -358, -1056)
On the west side of the courtyard behind the yellow door is a dark patch
of wall. This is a secret door which leads to a shadowsphere and health,
and some gargoyles.

4 47 <fe100000,fe490000> ( -496, -439)
5 38 <ff1a0000,fde70000> ( -230, -537)
South of the slime pit is a small room with some warriors in it. Behind
the warriors is a secret door which leads to some time bombs and a map
(#4).
As you return from getting the map, you will be attacked by some golems
who were hiding behind a newly opened door. East of this door is another
secret door which leads to the gauntlets (#5).

6 190 < 1600000, 50c0000> ( 352, 1292)
In the northwest area of the map is a long stairway that leads east
and curves around to the southwest. At the point where it starts to
curve around is a dark area; southwest of this area is a secret door
which leads to some wings (#6). At the top of the staircase is a door
to a room with some orbs; as you enter the room, doors will open on
either side revealing some monsters. In the middle of the south wall
is a secret door leading to a staircase with a bunch of goodies just
out of reach. Near the bottom of the staircase is a trigger line which
lowers a lift. If you get on the lift and wait for it to go back
up, it will take you to the ledge with the goodies on it. The
trigger line which lowers the lift also lowers the high platform
behind the yellow door; this platform contains a quartz flask and a
quiver of arrows. You can also use the wings to get these goodies.

7 161 < 5310000, 75a0000> ( 1329, 1882)
As you get the blue key, a lot of monsters are revealed, including some
warriors to your east. There is a bag of holding in the area where the
warriors were hiding. Northwest of the bag of holding is a secret door
which leads to a long hallway (#7) with some ammo and health, and a lot of
gargoyles. The hallway leads to the northwest area.

E1M3: The Gatehouse
1 9 <fabf0000,f4ca0000> (-1345, -2870)
Getting the yellow key causes a switch to be revealed on the way back.
It lowers the platform that silver shield is on, south of the starting
area. Hit the switch behind it, then go north towards the starting
point. As you go through the wall which separates the north and
south sides of the courtyard, you will see a teleporter on your
right, which takes you to a ledge to the south. Get the tome and
jump off the ledge, and go back north. This time, you will see a
teleporter on your left with takes you to the ledge to the north
(#1), which contains lots of goodies. When you've gotten them all,
jump off the ledge onto the pool in the southwest part of the
courtyard; the pool contains a dragon claw.

2 106 <fc600000, 2680000> ( -928, 616)
After going through the yellow door, take the south steps first; near
the top of the steps is a trigger line which opens a door in the room
through the window to your east. Go back down the steps, and take
the north set of steps this time. This will eventually lead you to
the room which has the door you just opened; the room beyond the door
contains the gauntlets, arrows, and a switch. Hit the switch and
go back to the yellow door. There will be a small staircase southwest
of the door with a tome at the top. Get the tome and jump into the
lake. At the south end of this (very windy) lake is a shore with
lots of ammo (#2); this ammo will come in very handy, as it turns out.

E1M4: The Guard Tower
1 42 <f2b60000, 1bc0000> (-3402, 444)
In the southeast corner of the map is a ledge south of a lake. The south
wall of this ledge contains a secret door which leads to a teleporter;
this takes you to an area in the west part of the map where you can find
a map, an egg, and some ammo.

Just east of your starting point is a secret door with a tome
behind it.

In the south area of the map (west of the double spiral staircase) is a
ledge leading south to a small building with some warriors and a
shadowsphere in it (This is at the top of the stairs which lead west
from the yellow door). To open the building's door, jump off the
ledge and go east, then north through the corridor into the center of
the spiral staircase. This will open the door to the building; also,
the green key is in this area.

E1M5: The Citadel
1 287 <fd400000,fab00000> ( -704, -1360)
The building in the southwest (the one just north of your starting
point) has two sets of steps leading east up to the second floor.
Take the north set of stairs. On the right, just before the door at
the top of the stairs, is a secret door to a room with a quiver
(#1). Now go through the other door and run down the steps, jumping
across to the ledge on the south side of the building. This side
contains the yellow key, a silver shield, and gauntlets. The yellow
key will allow you to get into the southeast building, which
contains a green key and a switch that will raise the stairs leading
to the green doors.

2 73 <fe600000,fe440000> ( -416, -444)
Inside the northeast building is a set of steps which lead down to a
teleporter. This takes you to an area in the center of the map with
two quivers and two teleporters (#2). Each teleporter takes you to
another area of in the center of the map with some disciples and ammo.
A strong wind will try to blow you off a ledge in the center into an
area with some wings. There is a strong wind in this area which
blows you south into a teleporter, so make sure you get the wings
first.

3 123 <fc980000, 2780000> ( -872, 632)
The northwest building has a small opening on the northwest side to
a dark place with a switch. Hit the switch and run to the north
side of the building; a lift will be lowered. On the left side of the
lift is a small niche with an egg (#3); go into this niche as the lift
raises. If you go to the top of the lift, you can get to the south part
of the building, which contains a dragon claw and some orbs. To get
to the tome on the northwest corner of the building, go to the west side
of the courtyard and go up the steps you see on the north end of the wall.
At the top of the steps is a ledge which leads back east. Walk along
this ledge, and run southeast to get the tome you see there.

4 20 < 2a20000,ffa00000> ( 674, -96)
In the northeast part of the north courtyard is a set of steps which
lead north. Go up these steps. At the top of the steps is a ledge which
leads back west; go back along this ledge, and follow it south.
Then run southeast to the outcropping you see to the south; from there,
you can make it to another ledge to the southeast (#4). Here you will
find a ring and some time bombs.

E1M6: The Cathedral
1 214 <f5400000, 7940000> (-2752, 1940)
2 193 <f6800000, 7940000> (-2432, 1940)
Northwest of your starting point is a niche with a secret door.
Behind it are some gauntlets (#1). When you enter this room, the niche
to the northeast of your starting point will open, revealing a Golem (#2).
You have to actually enter the niche to get credit for the secret.

3 258 < c00000,ff0b0000> ( 192, -245)
4 2 < c00000,f8f70000> ( 192, -1801)
5 282 <fe880000,fe600000> ( -376, -416)
In the dark room with the stained glass windows and the four pillars which
go up and down from the ceiling, you will find three secrets. Go up
the steps on the east end and walk north along the ledge to the north
side of the ledge. There is a one-way wall here which leads to an area
with some warriors (you probably figured that out already), some golems,
and a tome (#3). Leave this area and walk south along the ledge.
On the south side of the room is a secret door behind one of the
stained glass windows (between the skulls). The room behind this door (#4)
has another secret door on the east side, which leads to a teleporter
back to the starting point. This west side of the room contains ammo
and some time bombs. Returning to the stained glass window room, you
will find a secret door in a niche in the northwest corner which
reveals a map scroll (#5). Behind the map is a secret door which leads
back to the room behind the yellow door.

6 248 <fa850000, 4390000> (-1403, 1081)
7 187 <f7400000, 5180000> (-2240, 1304)
The building in the center of the graveyard has a secret door on its
outer west wall, which leads to a shadowsphere (#6). Inside the
building, you will find the southwest corner lit up; there is a secret
door here leading to some ammo, a switch, and a teleporter. The switch
raises the steps leading to the green door. The teleporter leads to
the tome on the east side of the building. Northwest of the building you
will find a door which leads to a teleporter. This takes you to a small
room with an egg (#7). North of the egg is a secret door which takes you
back to the starting room.

8 47 <f7cd0000,f8350000> (-2099, -1995)
In the area behind the green door you will find a switch near a ledge
which looks out onto the room east of the yellow door. Hitting the
switch will reveal a second switch on the northeast side of this room;
this switch will reveal the exit teleporter in the center of the room.
Walking off the ledge where you found the first switch will reveal a
secret door just south of it. Go back through the green door and
return to the first switch; on the way, you will see an open door on
your left, just past a series of windows. Through this door (#8) is
a lot of goodies and disciples. You will find a switch in here which
opens a door at the bottom of the steps which leads to the secret
exit teleporter. This takes you to the secret level, level 9.

E1M7: The Crypts
1 136 <f8500000, 14c0000> (-1968, 332)
North of the large west-east crushing ceiling is a small niche to the left,
and some stairs on the right. Walk into the niche; a door will be
revealed to a room with a little bit of ammo and some monsters.
Killing the monsters now saves some trouble later, since they can
throw things at you through the windows to the north and west.

2 216 <fd580000,ff540000> ( -680, -172)
3 222 <fd8f0000, 340000> ( -625, 52)
In the northeast part of the map is a square tower with 8 pillars
embedded in it, with a river of slime running west and east through it.
Standing on the ledge west of it, go south and cross the chasm on the path
you find there. At the end of the path, you will see a secret door
straight ahead of you. This door leads to some goodies, plus a ledge
across the slime to more goodies (#2). South of this ledge, in the slime
pit, is a staircase leading up to a tome (#3). Jump down from the tome
ledge; there is a switch to the northwest that will lower a lift that
you can use to get out of the slime pit.

4 314 < 2ee0000,f8d80000> ( 750, -1832)
North of the square tower, in the pit, is a path leading to a shadowsphere.
Behind it is a lift; hurry along the path, since the lift is triggered
by a line at the bottom of the stairs. The lift takes you to an
area which (assuming you have already gotten the stuff in the tower)
contains a teleporter to a ledge in the southeast part of the map
(#4). Here you will find a tome, arrows, a quartz flask, and some
warriors (which you should probably kill beforehand).

5 32 <fb3c0000,fc010000> (-1220, -1023)
After you get the blue key, a door will open in the lake just east of
the yellow door. This leads to a shield, an energy orb, and a teleporter
to the tower with 8 pillars. (There's a secret door in the southwest
corner of the blue key room, BTW; you need it to finish the level, but
it's somewhat hard to find.)

6 76 <f5700000,f4a00000> (-2704, -2912)
Just east of the exit door is a coffin. Stand on it to reveal a passage
to the south to a place with some disciples and goodies, just south of your
starting point.

E1M8: Hell's Maw
1 31 <fd200000, 4050000> ( -736, 1029)
2 33 <fee00000, 4050000> ( -288, 1029)
3 54 <fee00000, 13a0000> ( -288, 314)
4 58 <fd200000, 13a0000> ( -736, 314)
The room south of your starting point (the one with all the exploding
green balls) has a secret door in each corner (#1-4); one of the
doors leads to an invulnerability ring, which comes in very handy
later. Also, note that if you open the door to the south and walk
through it, the ledge separating you from the golems will drop down
so you (and they) can walk through it. You may want to open this
door right away, and then go back north and shoot the green balls to
kill the golems. The area the golems are in has a lot of health
and ammo as well.

Finishing this level isn't that hard if you make frequent use of tomes,
wings (especially in the room with the liches), invulnerability rings,
and eggs.

E1M9: The Graveyard
1 125 < a120000,fb1e0000> ( 2578, -1250)
South of the building with the blue doors is a door leading to the
room with the yellow key. At the east end of this room (south of where
the disciples will appear) is a secret door to a bag of holding (#1).

2 87 <11180000,f7da0000> ( 4376, -2086)
Behind the blue key is a not-very-secret door to a room with ammo and
wings (#2).

_________________
4-3-2 Episode two
-----------------

E2M1: The Crater
1 3 <fc740000, 8870000> ( -908, 2183)
The room southwest of the starting room has a secret door on a brightly
lit portion of the wall, just north of the entrance. Inside you will
find ammo, a shield, and a tome.

2 19 <fc600000, 2840000> ( -928, 644)
The last room (the one with the green door) has a pathway over the slime.
In the slime north of the pathway is a secret door just to the right
of the green key. Look for some strange texturing near the floor.
In it, you will find a mystic urn; it's not an official secret, though.
Halfway along the pathway through the slime is a trigger line that opens
some secret doors. Walk along the pathway, and then walk back west to
the pillar just to the left of the entrance. Behind it you will find
a secret door to the southwest room. Walk through the door, and then
look on the wall to your south for a newly opened door to a room
with a bag of holding and a hellstaff (#2).

E2M2: The Lava Pits
1 127 < 3c00000, 1cb0000> ( 960, 459)
In the southeast is a room with two wedge-shaped lifts west of a river
of slime. (At the east side of the river is a pit with a lot of
goodies, BTW.) Go to the top of one of the lifts and get all the
stuff up there. When you're done, stand in the middle of the
western ledge and jump off to the west. This will open a door to
your south, at the edge of the dark area; through the door you will
find a shadowsphere (#1). Watch your back, though.

2 31 < 3e00000, 8190000> ( 992, 2073)
3 46 < 7600000, 5300000> ( 1888, 1328)
To the east of the green door is a staircase leading to a room with
strange lighting on the floor. In the northwest corner of this room
is a secret door to a room with ammo and a hellstaff. In the northeast
corner of the strangely-lit room is a staircase leading down to a ledge
overlooking the room with the river of slime. In the northeast corner
of this room is a blue tapestry. This marks a secret door leading to
a tome, a quiver, and an egg.

4 5 < 2830000, 6110000> ( 643, 1553)
The exit room has a secret door in the southeast corner; the door is opened
by the same switch that reveals the exit teleporter. The door leads to
a room with ammo and a bag of holding (#4). There is also a door to the
south which leads to a teleporter to the river room.

5 140 <fe990000, 3420000> ( -359, 834)
After you get #4, a door will open south of the lava lake in the west.
This leads to a room with an ironlich (#5), an enchanted shield, and
an urn.

E2M3: The River of Fire
No official secrets. The switch behind the blue key lowers two platforms
with some goodies on them at the bottom of the two lavafalls (for lack of
a better word) down the west and east steps from your starting point.
One platform has a phoenix rod, and the other has an urn.

E2M4: The Ice Grotto
1 207 < 1ae0000,fda80000> ( 430, -600)
In the middle of the starting area, along the boundary between the
annoying ice and the lava, you will find a niche with a low ceiling,
southeast of the egg. In it, you will find a crossbow. Entering the
niche will open an area to the north containing a tome (#1).

2 112 < 3280000,ef440000> ( 808, -4284)
Just past the blue door is a trigger line which opens a door to the
secret exit. After opening the blue door, walk down the first few steps
and then come back (or clear out that area if you want, but don't take
the exit you find there). Go get the wings if you haven't already;
they're in the room northeast of the little pillar that had the
torch on it; the door to this building opens when you get the blue key.
After getting the wings, a door will open revealing a teleporter in
the northeast part of the blue key building (just south of the building
with the wings). This will teleport you back up to the ramparts overlooking
the starting area. (I suppose you could just use the wings if you want.)
Jump down to the southeast and go through the yellow door. In the south
part of the room is an open door leading to a short hallway (#2) which
takes you to the exit to level 9. By the way, the teleporters in this
room take you up to the towers west and east of the entrance. The south
end of each tower overlooks a stained glass window which has a fire orb
on it; jump down to get it.

E2M5: The Catacombs
1 140 <f8010000,fbb70000> (-2047, -1097)
On the east side of the map is a series of waterfalls leading down to
a room with an ironlich. Just before you jump down into this room,
you will see a switch to your north. Hit the switch, then jump down
and take one of the teleporters that just lowered. This will take you
to the northeast corner of the room. West of you is an opening to
the north, leading to an area with mace spheres and a tome (#1).

2 206 <f7a00000, 1500000> (-2144, 336)
Behind the green door you will find a staircase with six pictures
of cloaked figures on either side. The middle one on the right
(the one that blinks) conceals a secret door to a niche with an
inferno orb. Once you get it, the other five pictures will open to
reveal niches containing various other goodies and monsters.

3 87 <fa000000, 3e00000> (-1536, 992)
At the top of the steps past the green door is a platform with steps
to the north and south of it. At the bottom of the north set of steps
is another secret door concealed by a picture of a cloaked figure.
Behind this door is a teleporter to a small area with a phoenix
rod (#3) and an enchanted shield; behind the shield is a secret door
to an area with some ammo and a bag of holding. On the east side of
this area is a switch which lowers a lift (actually a waterfall)
that takes you up to the top of the series of waterfalls on the east
side of the map. (Actually, you can get into the room with the bag
from the east side, too; just hit the switch to lower the waterfall,
jump down, and walk west. You can't open the secret door to #3 from
that side, though.)

4 32 <fa070000,fe400000> (-1529, -448)
5 25 <fc690000,f9700000> ( -919, -1680)
West of the platform with the blue key is a small area with wings and
some mace spheres (#4); just jump across to the opening. Then jump
down into the slime. (Now would be a good time to use the ring of
invincibility.) Then run south and go through the opening to the
southwest. In it, you will find ammo, a hellstaff (#5), a ring of
invincibility (to replace the one you just used?), and various monsters.
There is also a teleporter back to the starting area.

6 63 <fe3f0000,ff630000> ( -449, -157)
After getting the green key, go back to the top of the series of
waterfalls at the east end of the map. Jump down to the area below
the first waterfall. North of the yellow door you will see a door
which opened after you hit the switch behind the yellow door.
Through this door is an area with some ammo and a tome. Also, if
you got the green key, there will be an opening to an area with more
ammo and a chaos device (#6).

The starting area has a dragon claw in it. Go up the first set of steps
leading north, and then jump down to the southeast.

E2M6: The Labyrinth
1 242 <fe2a0000, 560000> ( -470, 86)
2 233 < 7560000, 1560000> ( 1878, 342)
3 65 < 8560000,f82a0000> ( 2134, -2006)
4 37 <ff2a0000,f72a0000> ( -214, -2262)
In each of the four corners of the area surrounding the maze, you will
find a small area with a door and a picture of a cloaked figure. When
you walk through the door (or, in the case of the northwest one, out into
the ice hallway surrounding the maze) the cloaked figure will raise up
to reveal a secret room. The northwest one contains gauntlets (#1);
the northeast one contains a bag (#2); the southeast one contains a
ring of invincibility (#3); and the southwest one contains a tome (#4).

5 151 < 7880000,fca00000> ( 1928, -864)
In the hallway east of the maze is a picture of a figure wearing a
loincloth; this picture conceals a secret door to an egg and a shield.

6 21 <ff060000,f6180000> ( -250, -2536)
7 30 <fd150000,f64e0000> ( -747, -2482)
South of the blue key is a teleporter. When you take the
teleporter, a secret door will be opened, south of the green door,
on the west wall. This area (#6) leads back to the area near the
start; it contains ammo and an enchanted shield. At the west end of
this area is a bright patch of wall; walk up to it, and it will open
to reveal a disciple or two and a phoenix rod (#7).

E2M7: The Great Hall
1 30 <f7780000,f5890000> (-2184, -2679)
In the south area of the map is an area with some crates. In the
northeast corner is a staircase leading down to the north; when you
get to the bottom of it, a door will open to the west of the crates
room; behind it you will find ammo, health, and time bombs (#1).

2 156 <fbdc0000,f8800000> (-1060, -1920)
The blue door room has two ledges to the north and south; each one has
a lift on the east side. Go up the south lift, and go to the west end
of the ledge. Stand back a bit, and then walk west over the side;
you should land on the ledge on the west side of the room. The west
wall is a secret door to an area with ammo and a tome (#2).

3 72 < 11b0000,f30b0000> ( 283, -3317)
The south ledge of the blue door room has an opening to the south;
when you walk through it into the next room, a door will open on the
south side of it. Go through the door; you'll find ammo and a ring
through there (#3).

4 106 <f8c70000, d50000> (-1849, 213)
Getting the blue key opens a door to a small area west of the green
door. Hit the switch in this area; it will open a door to the
northeast, which leads down to a slimy area to the north, where
you'll find ammo, a phoenix rod (#4) and an enchanted shield. There
is also a path to the east which leads to the area just northwest of
the starting point. There is a switch there which lowers a lift which
takes you back up to the start; on top of the switch is a shadowsphere.

E2M8: The Portals of Chaos
1 34 <f3d00000,ff000000> (-3120, -256)
In the west area of the map is a platform with a crossbow. Get the
crossbow, and then walk behind the wall to the west of it. There
you'll find a chamber with mace spheres, wings, urn, and
an enchanted shield (#1).

2 73 < b000000,ff130000> ( 2816, -237)
In the south area of the map is a platform with a dragon claw; get it.
Then go northeast to the east part of the map, and go behind the wall;
there, you will find mace spheres, a chaos device, a shadowsphere,
and a bag (#2).

E2M9: The Glacier
1 170 <ffbf0000,fcdf0000> ( -65, -801)
From the start, go down the first three sets of steps, then back up
two sets, then walk into the area to the west. There you will find
a quiver and a bag.

2 97 < 800000, abd0000> ( 128, 2749)
In the north area of the map is a large ice "staircase". The north
side of the room has three stained glass windows. Walk up to one of
them, and they will open to reveal lots of goodies (#2).

3 68 <fd400000, 4b00000> ( -704, 1200)
Southwest of the ice staircase is a stained glass window. Standing
on the staircase, you can run southwest and land on the edge of it.
When you do, the window will open, revealing an ironlich and a possible
mace (#3).

4 93 < 600000, e050000> ( 96, 3589)
After you get the yellow key, don't get the teleporter to the east;
instead, jump down and go through one of the doors in the northeast
and northwest corners of the room. Hit the switch back there, then go
to the northwest corner of the area, jump down into the passage,
where you see the banner, and take the teleporter at the end of the
passage. Here you will find a tome, wings, arrows (#4), and a
teleporter back to the starting room.

5 162 < 1a00000,fa600000> ( 416, -1440)
Go through the green door, walk to the south end of the hallway,
then walk west to the other hallway; just to the northwest is a
secret door, on the west wall, right by the step. Walk up to it,
and it will open to reveal a ring of invincibility (#5).

6 33 < 2800000, 1400000> ( 640, 320)
Go through the green door, walk to the south end of the hallway, then
walk to the north end of the passage to the west; this passage ends
at an urn. Walk east of the urn, and then walk up to the north wall
to reveal a hellstaff (#6).

7 64 < 3a00000, 3e00000> ( 928, 992)
The room on the east side of the map, the room with the lava pool,
has a secret door in the northwest corner, south of the stairs,
between the skulls on poles. Behind it is a teleporter to a small
room; the south side of the room has a secret door to a room with a
phoenix rod (#7). The north side of the room has a secret door to
the ice staircase room. There is also a teleporter to a small room.
This room has a secret door on the east side to the lava pool room;
it also has a tome in multiplayer mode.

8 145 <ff090000,fa080000> ( -247, -1528)
9 134 < 9700000,fe600000> ( 2416, -416)
After you enter the exit room, a secret door will open to the south,
revealing two teleporters. The west one goes to a room with ammo and
a map (#8); the east one goes to an area east of the lava pool, with
an urn (#9) and health and ammo.

___________________
4-3-3 Episode three
-------------------

E3M1: The Storehouse
1 139 < 6400000,f8f00000> ( 1600, -1808)
The ring of invincibility, which is on a platform northeast of the
lake with the ironlich. Use the wings to get it.

2 108 < 4880000,f1600000> ( 1160, -3744)
Just north of the exit teleporter is a room with a secret door on the
east side. Open it to reveal a hellstaff.

E3M2:
1 62 < 3d20000, 4310000> ( 978, 1073)
Go through the east yellow door, go down to the east end of the hallway,
and go north; behind the banner is a secret door to a room with a shield
and a bag (#1).

2 111 < 1900000, 780000> ( 400, 120)
There is an area in the southeast with various goodies on crates,
including a map up on a ledge; get the map, then open the secret door
just to the west of it to reveal a ring of invincibility.

3 142 <fe700000, 780000> ( -400, 120)
Standing north of the blue door, go west, then go north through the
first opening until you see a banner to the east; behind the banner
is a secret door to a phoenix rod.

E3M3: The Confluence
1 132 < 5fd0000,fe800000> ( 1533, -384)
Go through the yellow door and go to the end of the hallway. At the
end of the hallway is a secret door to the west which reveals a crossbow.

2 71 < 1840000, 4a00000> ( 388, 1184)
Go through the east green door, and go north until you come to a
door to the east. Go through the door, and go down the steps to the
south. When you hit the bottom of the first set of steps, you will
see a yellow symbol on the wall, marking a secret door to a tome
(#2).

3 72 < 1ae0000, 5730000> ( 430, 1395)
Go through the east green door, and go north until you come to a
door to the east. Go through the door, and go through the door to
the east. Then look south behind the health; there's a secret door
there to a room with a bag of holding (#3).

4 57 <ff4a0000, 4950000> ( -182, 1173)
Go through the west green door, and get the quartz flask you see in
the southeast corner of the room. Then go back through the green
door. East of the river will be a newly opened door to the north
to an area with an urn (#4).

5 24 <fba80000, bf20000> (-1112, 3058)
Go through the blue door, then go north up the steps. You'll enter
a room with a banner between two switches on the north end.
The banner has a secret door behind it to a room with some gauntlets (#5).

6 177 <f8c80000, 2400000> (-1848, 576)
Through the blue door, and to the south, is a room with a crushing
ceiling. West of the crushing ceiling is a red banner on the wall,
with a secret door behind it revealing a tome (#6).

7 187 <f90b0000, 180000> (-1781, 24)
South of the crushing ceiling room is a set of stairs. Go up both
sets of stairs; at the top, you will find a secret door to the north,
revealing a room with some wings (#7).

8 144 <ffd30000,f9200000> ( -45, -1760)
9 140 <ffe80000,f9600000> ( -24, -1696)
There are two sets of stairs that lead to the exit. The east one has
a secret door on the west wall, at the bottom of the stairs; open it
to reveal a map (#8), and a switch which lowers a lift with a hellstaff
and a tome (#9). You can also reach #9 from the secret door just to the
east of your starting point.

E3M4: The Azure Fortress
1 67 <fd8b0000,ffb20000> ( -629, -78)
2 113 < f50000,ffb20000> ( 245, -78)
Take the first teleporter you come to; it will take you back to the
starting room. At this point, you will be able to walk into the
pools to the west and east. The west pool (#1) has wings, and
the east pool (#2) has a tome.

3 212 <fe200000, cda0000> ( -480, 3290)
North of the first teleporter is a room with a pool, with steps at
the north end leading down into it. After you walk off the steps, a
secret door will open to the north. Go back up the steps and get
the health and shadowsphere (#3). When you get the crossbow on the
south side of the pool, a door opens on the south side of the
structure to the south of the pool, revealing a bag of holding, a
quiver, and ammo.

4 180 < 3c60000, 9830000> ( 966, 2435)
To the east of the pool room is a room with three dark cages with
knights in them. Go through the southeast door, and go east and then
north up the first set of steps. There is a secret door to the north
between the torches. Inside it is some health and ammo (#4).

5 199 < e90000, d670000> ( 233, 3431)
West of the crushing ceiling is a hallway which narrows at two
points. At the second narrowing is a secret door to the south, marked
with a yellow symbol. Open it to reveal a room with ammo, a torch,
and a tome (#5).

6 104 < 1960000, 1410000> ( 406, 321)
7 79 <ff790000, 1e10000> ( -135, 481)
8 115 < 5360000, 1e00000> ( 1334, 480)
9 94 <ff150000, 4c80000> ( -235, 1224)
10 58 <fc670000, 4d10000> ( -921, 1233)
Get the green key, and then go back to the yellow door. You can now
go north down the steps. The bottom of the staircase (#6) is dark,
but has a light area to the west with a hellstaff. Just to the west
of the hellstaff is a secret door to an area with time bombs and
ammo (#7). When you open the secret door, another secret area opens
to the east of the dark area; this contains some health (#8) and a
teleporter to an area with an enchanted shield (#9) and another
teleporter to an area with an egg (#10) and a secret door which
leads to the pool room.

11 6 <fa5c0000, 100000> (-1444, 16)
12 8 <fa5c0000, 1b00000> (-1444, 432)
13 68 <fc860000, 1000000> ( -890, 256)
Behind the green door is an area which overlooks a pool to the west
with a number of ironliches. To the south of this pool is a hallway
which leads east to a room with a low ceiling and a phoenix rod. In
the north and south corners of this room are secret doors on the
west wall, which lead to some monster pens with ammo (#11, #12).
After getting the phoenix rod, walk back and clean out the monster
pens east of the pool. Also, on the way back from the phoenix rod
room, north of the octagonal room, you will see a passage which
leads to a switch. Hit the switch; this switch opens the door to
the exit, which is east of the pool room to the north of the green
and yellow doors. It also opens the way to the secret exit, which
seems easier to find than the real exit. To get to the secret exit,
go back east to the room with the low ceiling. There will be a
passage open to the east (#13) which leads to the secret exit, which
takes you to level 9.

E3M5: The Ophidian Lair
1 114 <ffe00000,fd2b0000> ( -32, -725)
2 101 <ff200000,f9880000> ( -224, -1656)
3 73 < 3240000, 4240000> ( 804, 1060)
The yellow key room has a number of pillars. The two westmost pillars
have switches on their west side. The north switch opens a secret
door on the north side of the room, which leads to a room with ammo,
health, and a torch (#1); the south switch opens a door on the south wall
which leads to a hellstaff (#2). Getting the yellow key causes three
doors to open to the north, south, and west; walking through one of the
open doors causes the stained glass windows at the far east side of
the room to raise up. Run back there and take the teleporter, which
takes you an area northeast of the starting room (#3) with lots of
goodies, and some very nasty monsters.

4 84 < 2d80000, 380000> ( 728, 56)
Go through the door east of the green key; it leads to a hallway with
some niches to the west and east, with dark patches between them.
The west niche in the middle is larger than the others; walking into
it will reveal a secret door to the west which leads to some monster
pens with ammo and time bombs (#4), and a teleporter to a shadowsphere.

E3M6: The Halls of Fear
1 23 <fb400000, 6020000> (-1216, 1538)
2 9 <fa970000, 3d40000> (-1385, 980)
West of the yellow door is a hallway with two switches at the west end.
Hit both switches; some doors will open to the north and south.
The area to the north has ammo and a shield (#1); the area to the
south has ammo and an urn (#2).

3 213 <f7a80000,fc450000> (-2136, -955)
Southwest of the blue door is a walk-through wall, just between the
banners. Behind the wall is a hallway (#3) leading to some ammo,
an egg, and those annoying ophidians that have been shooting at you.

4 11 <fc800000, 3600000> ( -896, 864)
5 74 <fba40000,fc200000> (-1116, -992)
6 85 <fef00000,fb740000> ( -272, -1164)
7 54 < 1e90000,fac20000> ( 489, -1342)
After you hit the switches mentioned in #1, run south from your
starting point to reach the staircase to the south. (You can also
get here by going through the opening east of the exit.) Go to the
west side of the pool and walk north over the three red patches.
After you cross the second red patch, a door will open to the west.
Go west through the door, and go up the steps; in the room at the
top of the steps, you will see a small room to the east with a bag
of holding (#4). Now go back and get the phoenix rod, southwest of
the pool in the starting area. Some doors will open to the west and
south, with some goodies inside. Then go through one of the windows
to the left or right of the phoenix rod. There's a map in there
(#5). In the south part of the room is a staircase leading down to
the east. At the bottom of the staircase is a secret lift to the
north (#6), which takes you up to an area with a bag of holding and
time bombs. If you go east from the bottom of the staircase, you
will come to a secret door, which opens to reveal an area with an
urn, a bag of holding, and some mace spheres (#7).

8 122 <f6d00000, 2e00000> (-2352, 736)
9 223 <f6d00000,fee00000> (-2352, -288)
Go through the green door and walk into the water; this will open some
secret doors west of the hallway you just left. Go back and go into
the secret areas to the north and south; they contain some ammo,
a possible mace, a shadowsphere (#8), and a tome (#9).

10 107 <f9aa0000, 2080000> (-1622, 520)
Go to the top of the steps at the south side of the maulotaur pool
east of the green door. This will lower the pool, revealing an area
to the north (#10). It contains wings, ammo, and a teleporter back
up to the top of the steps.

In the west side of the pool in the starting area, in the northwest
corner, is a quiver. West of the quiver is a secret door which
contains a ring of invincibility and a teleporter to a ledge in the
east part of the pool, which has a hellstaff, some ammo, and health.

E3M7: The Chasm
1 21 < 00000,16070000> ( 0, 5639)
North of the yellow door is a room with a ledge on the north side.
You can get to it from the first step to the west or east. Once on
the ledge, you can open the door to the north, which reveals a
switch (#1). Hit the switch to reveal a teleporter to the west,
which takes you to an energy orb and a dragon claw.

2 160 < 1230000, 59c0000> ( 291, 1436)
3 147 < 00000, 5130000> ( 0, 1299)
Southwest of the green door is a room with four teleporters. After you
take the two north teleporters, take the southeast one; this will take
you to the green key. To the south of green key is a secret door which
reveals some time bombs (#2). The southwest teleporter is not really
a teleporter; once you walk over it, it opens an area to the south
(#3) with a hellstaff.

4 173 < 1280000, 3840000> ( 296, 900)
On the way to the windy chasm in the south part of the map is a
staircase with a pool at the bottom. Just to the south of the pool
is an area with a torch to the east; just opposite the torch is a
secret door to a phoenix rod (#4).

5 192 <f9ce0000, a40000> (-1586, 164)
6 205 < 4fe0000,fb580000> ( 1278, -1192)
At the south end of the chasm are a pair of wings and a blue key.
Use the wings to fly to the west and east sides of the chasm; there are
some paths there which lead to all sorts of neat stuff in the areas
which look out into the chasm (#5, #6).

7 162 < 3800000, 6440000> ( 896, 1604)
8 178 < 2ae0000, 48c0000> ( 686, 1164)
9 200 < 75e0000, 4100000> ( 1886, 1040)
10 203 < 5fa0000, 2280000> ( 1530, 552)
After getting the blue key, a bunch of secret areas open up in the
area northeast of the chasm, southeast of the green door. There is
a chaos device (#7), a map (#8), a tome (#9), and an urn (#10).

Up the stairs to the east of the yellow door is a room which has a
passage to the south which leads to a switch. When you hit the
switch, some knights are revealed to the south. The room they're in
has an opening in the southwest corner; go through this opening to
get some goodies.

E3M8: D'Sparil's Keep
1 6 < 4240000, 5e00000> ( 1060, 1504)
There are four teleporters in the starting area. Just southeast of
the northeast one is a secret door; look for a weird texture near
the floor. Open the door to reveal a bag of holding, a tome,
a chaos device, and a quartz flask (#1).

2 3 < 3800000, 7440000> ( 896, 1860)
3 13 < 400000, 7440000> ( 64, 1860)
When you reach the exit building, go outside and follow the ledge
around the building to the east. At the south end of the ledge is
a secret door which leads to an urn (#2) and a teleporter to the start.
Follow the ledge around to the west side of the building to find
another secret door at the south side of the ledge; open it to reveal
a ring of invincibility (#3) and a teleporter to the north part of the
battlefield.

E3M9: The Aquifer
1 86 < 4e90000,fac40000> ( 1257, -1340)
2 81 < 6740000,fc7a0000> ( 1652, -902)
Go through the yellow door, and then walk east; you will find a dark
area that blinks on occasionally. There is a secret door to the
north, which leads to a chaos device and a possible firemace (#1).
Now walk down the hallway to the east, and then go north; one part
of the hallway is blinking. There is a secret door to the west here
which leads to ammo and a ring of invincibility (#2).

3 17 < 4590000, 4ed0000> ( 1113, 1261)
4 47 < 3360000, 5e00000> ( 822, 1504)
Behind the green door is a room with four vials on four red squares;
get one of them, and then go through the door which opens up to the
northwest to get the dragon claw you see through the window (#3).
Then go north down the stairs and open the secret door to the west,
marked with a yellow symbol. Behind the secret door are some
gauntlets (#4).

5 70 <fce40000,fdc40000> ( -796, -572)
The exit door is in a moat-enclosed area. In the south part of
this area is a teleporter with a pair of wings on it. The teleporter
takes you to the moat (#5), which has lots of cool stuff in it--
ammo, a tome, a shield, and a teleporter back to the start.
4 71 <fd200000,fb5b0000> ( -736, -1189)
5 76 <fd200000,fa960000> ( -736, -1386)
After you reach the exit door, a door will open west of the starting
room. There you will find an orb, a shield, and an urn (#4);
a door will open to the south revealing a possible mace (#5).

E4M1:
The only secret in this level is that it exists. Start the
game and type "engage41" to get here; it's a deathmatch level.
You can also start the game with the arguments "-warp 4 1".

===========================================
YOU CAN BEGIN READING AGAIN IF YOU STOPPED!
===========================================

_________________
4-4 Monster count
-----------------

This list is for smitemeister, single-player mode only.

Episode One: City of the Damned
----------------------------------------------------------
Level 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Tot
----------------------------------------------------------
Gargoyle 23 82 42 49 44 32 42 6 25 345
Fire Gargoyle . . 18 14 12 11 16 3 11 85
Golem 18 52 35 28 30 53 61 . . 277
Golem Ghost . . . . . 2 5 . 28 35
Nitrogolem . . . 7 6 13 7 16 . 49
Nitrogolem Ghost . . . . 1 1 1 14 27 44
Warrior 3 19 21 8 18 18 26 6 . 119
Warrior Ghost . . 1 . . . 1 . 20 22
Disciple . . . 3 10 9 3 14 2 41
Ironlich . . . . . . . 3 . 3
----------------------------------------------------------
Total 44 153 117 109 121 139 162 62 113 1020
----------------------------------------------------------

Episode Two: Hell's Maw
----------------------------------------------------------
Level 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Tot
----------------------------------------------------------
Gargoyle 25 38 24 53 39 42 46 . 32 299
Fire Gargoyle 8 8 4 10 11 16 8 22 9 96
Golem . 5 . . . 14 4 . . 23
Nitrogolem . . . . . 3 3 8 8 22
Nitrogolem Ghost . . . . . . . 3 . 3
Warrior . 12 . . . . 1 5 5 23
Warrior Ghost . 3 . . . . . . 1 4
Disciple . 6 11 12 4 6 2 10 23 74
Ironlich . 1 . 1 1 1 1 1 2 8
Sabreclaw . 30 35 11 23 14 36 4 17 170
Weredragon 12 4 18 24 18 15 19 7 20 137
Maulotaur . . . . . . . 3 . 3
----------------------------------------------------------
Total 45 107 92 111 96 111 120 63 117 862
----------------------------------------------------------

Episode Three: The Dome of D'Sparil
---------------------------------------------------------------
Level 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Tot E1-3
---------------------------------------------------------------
Gargoyle 37 33 26 39 26 28 19 8 . 216 860
Fire Gargoyle 12 17 15 16 5 8 11 . 28 112 293
Golem . 3 16 13 . 8 8 . 2 50 350
Golem Ghost . . 3 . . . . . . 3 38
Nitrogolem . 1 10 7 . 7 4 7 9 45 116
Nitrogolem Ghost . . . . . . . . 2 2 49
Warrior 1 . 5 16 . 4 7 . 14 47 189
Warrior Ghost 3 . . . . . . . . 3 29
Disciple 4 16 10 15 10 10 6 2 15 88 203
Ironlich 2 1 2 3 2 4 5 1 6 26 37
Sabreclaw 10 14 28 24 38 11 33 . . 158 328
Weredragon 6 3 6 14 . 10 6 . 5 50 187
Ophidian 3 11 15 12 21 14 17 3 9 105 105
Maulotaur . . . . 1 1 1 . . 3 6
D'Sparil . . . . . . . 1 . 1 1
---------------------------------------------------------------
Total 78 99 136 159 103 105 117 22 90 909 2791
---------------------------------------------------------------
______________
4-5 Item count
--------------

This chart shows where the following items appear in the game, and
how many times they occur in each level. This chart is for Smitemeister
single-player mode only.

CB = Crossbow GA = Gauntlets DC = Dragon Claw
FM = Firemace Spot PR = Phoenix Rod HS = Hellstaff
BG = Bag of Holding EG = Egg TB = Time Bomb
WG = Wings of Wrath SS = Shadowsphere RG = Ring of Invincibility
A1 = Silver Shield A2 = Enchanted Shield
MP = Map Scroll TM = Tome of Power TR = Torch CD = Chaos Device
CC = Crushing Ceiling T1 = One-way Teleporter T2 = Two-way Teleporter

Note that there can't be more than one firemace on each level. In
each level with a firemace, there are a number of possible locations
for it; the FM column shows how many possibilities there are. When
you start a level, the location is chosen randomly; the other
locations are filled in with weredragons (in E2) or ophidians (in E3).

CB GA DC FM PR HS BG EG TB WG SS RG A1 A2 MP TM TR CD CC
T1 T2 Total
E1M1: 1 1 . . . . 1 . . . . . 1 . . 1 . . . 2 . 7
E1M2: 1 1 1 . . . 1 . 5 1 1 . 1 . 1 2 1 . 2 . . 18
E1M3: 1 1 1 . . . 1 1 . . 1 . 1 . . 2 1 . . 3 . 13
E1M4: 1 1 1 . . . . 1 . . 1 . 1 . 1 2 1 . 1 1 . 12
E1M5: 1 1 1 . . . 1 1 4 2 1 1 2 . 1 3 2 . . 4 . 25
E1M6: 1 1 1 . . . 2 1 7 1 1 1 3 . 1 3 1 . . 3 1 28
E1M7: 1 1 1 . . . 1 1 4 1 1 . 2 . 1 2 2 . 5 3 . 26
E1M8: 1 1 1 . . . 2 1 . 2 1 3 1 . . 2 . . . 3 . 18
E1M9: 1 1 1 . . . 1 1 4 1 1 1 1 . 1 2 1 . . . . 17

E2M1: 1 . 1 . . 1 1 . . 1 1 . 1 . . 1 1 . . 2 . 11
E2M2: 1 1 1 . . 1 2 1 . 1 1 1 2 1 1 3 . 1 . 1 . 19
E2M3: 1 1 1 3 1 1 1 . 6 1 1 1 1 1 . 2 . 1 . . . 23
E2M4: 1 1 1 . 1 1 2 1 3 1 1 . 1 1 1 3 1 1 . 4 . 25
E2M5: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 1 1 3 1 1 . 13 . 31
E2M6: 1 1 1 4 2 1 1 1 4 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 . 1 . 2 . 27
E2M7: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 5 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 . . . 22
E2M8: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 8 2 1 1 1 1 . 1 . 1 8 5 . 36
E2M9: 1 1 2 4 1 1 1 1 7 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 1 . 9 . 39

E3M1: . 1 1 . . 1 1 . . 1 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 . . . 12
E3M2: 1 1 1 5 1 1 2 1 8 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 . 4 . 35
E3M3: 1 1 1 6 1 2 1 . 4 1 1 1 1 1 1 4 1 1 1 1 1 32
E3M4: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 2 4 1 1 1 2 2 1 2 3 1 1 3 . 30
E3M5: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 4 . 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 1 . 1 1 23
E3M6: 1 1 1 6 1 2 3 1 4 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 . 1 . 4 . 33
E3M7: 1 1 1 . 1 1 2 1 4 3 2 1 1 1 1 3 2 1 . 8 . 35
E3M8: 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 . . 2 1 1 1 1 . 2 . 1 . 9 . 24
E3M9: 1 1 1 4 1 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 1 1 2 1 26

Total:26 26 27 32 16 20 34 21 85 29 27 22 35 17 20 58 25 17 19 87 4 647

_______________________________________________
4-6 Where can I find information about Heretic?
-----------------------------------------------

These are some USENET newsgroups that may contain some information
about Heretic.

alt.games.heretic
alt.games.doom
rec.games.computer.doom.playing
rec.games.computer.doom.announce
rec.games.computer.doom.misc
rec.games.computer.doom.editing

You may find related information on IRC channel #doom

=========
PART FIVE
=========

_______________________________
5-1 What is a Multiplayer game?
-------------------------------

note: I won't go into the details of multiplaying and such, if you want more
information read the "Official DOOM FAQ" as stated above.

A multiplayer game is when you play a game of Heretic with another
person. You can play multiplayer games over a LAN (Local Area Network) using
an IPX network. You can also play head to head games through a modem or a
serial connection. There are also certain BBS' that have special software
that allow you to call them and play a modem game with up to 4 people.

___________________________
5-2 What is Deathmatch play
---------------------------

Deathmatch play is when you are playing a multiplayer game and the
object is to kill the other people. When you kill another person you get a
FRAG. The rules for Deathmatch games may vary, some people may just play for
a while to see who gets the most frags, and others may do something completely
different.

_____________________________
5-3 What is Cooperative play?
-----------------------------

Cooperative play is where you and whoever else is playing fight
together to beat the game. This is almost the same as when you play by
yourself, but with more people.

____________________________________________________
5-4 Hey! This is cool, where can I find more people?
----------------------------------------------------

You can find people to play on IRC channel: #doom

You can also find some of the USENET groups listed above.

========
PART SIX
========
_________________
6 TROUBLESHOOTING
-----------------

note: This is the troubleshooting section directly out of the Heretic
README.TXT

If you require technical assistance to run Heretic, call id Software's
technical support line at (303) 339-7111 or e-mail help@idsoftware.com.

If possible, please be near your computer when calling id Software's
technical support. Please have information regarding your system setup and
configuration available.

Before changing your system or software setup we recommend that you
review your system manuals to ensure that your modifications will not endanger
any existing information or hardware on you system or network. Modifying your
system or your software setup can be dangerous, and we cannot help you with
any resulting problems.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When Heretic runs, I get an "Insufficient Memory" error or Heretic just
doesn't run.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You don't have enough free RAM to run Heretic. This usually happens
with 4Mb RAM machines -- you need about 3Mb of free RAM to run Heretic. If
you have DOS 6 or later, boot your system and hold the left-shift key as the
"Starting MS-DOS..." message appears. This will bare-boot your system and you
must change to the Heretic directory and run Heretic. Your best bet is to
make a CONFIG.SYS menu for a custom Heretic boot -- see page 97 in your
MS-DOS 6 User's Manual. If you have DOS 5.0 or earlier, you must create a
bare boot disk.

Note: Do not use memory managers like EMM386, QEMM, etc.
Do not use disk caching programs like SMARTDRV, etc.

-----------------------------------------------------
I get a "WRITE ERROR" while Heretic is decompressing.
-----------------------------------------------------

You are using a disk compression program such as STACKER or
DOUBLESPACE. These utilities try to make an "educated" <ahem> guess as to how
much disk space you have left. Obviously, they're wrong. Delete some big
games that are chewing up hard drive space, like any Wolf-alikes or
DOOM-alikes.

--------------------------------------------------
The Windows SETUP program runs after installation.
--------------------------------------------------

Heretic did not install to your hard drive, probably due to
insufficient disk space. See above answer for a solution.

--------------------
My GUS doesn't work.
--------------------

The default IRQ for a GUS is 11. Heretic doesn't handle IRQ's above 7.
Change this with your GUS setup program.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't get digital sound from my Sound Blaster compatible sound card.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

You are experiencing a DMA conflict. You may have a CD-ROM or hard
drive on the same DMA channel that you specified in Heretic's SETUP program.
Change the DMA channel of the sound card or offending device.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Heretic locks up before I see the title screen or at the title screen.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

You need to turn "Hidden Refresh" off in your CMOS Advanced Chipset
settings. If you're using RAMBIOS.SYS, you must remove it from your
CONFIG.SYS. Make sure you also turn off any Hardware Video Shadowing
(also found in CMOS settings.)

-------------------------------------------------------------
Heretic runs really slow, locks or "pauses" on a fast system.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Some systems have a option in the CMOS setup for switching the speed
of the PC from the keyboard. This is the "Turbo Switch" or "Turbo Switching"
option. Disable this setting and your problem should be fixed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear static when listening to Heretic with my Sound Blaster (or compatible)
card.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Run SBP-MIX (in your SBPRO directory) and turn down Line and Mic
volumes to 0.

---------------------------------------------------------
I still hear static, or my sound effects are breaking up.
---------------------------------------------------------

Disconnect any parallel port devices. (Sound cards, to work with
Heretic, must use IRQ5 or IRQ7, which are used by LPT2 and LPT1 -- where
printers are connected.)

-------------------------------------------
I can't get sound on my ATI Stereo FX card.
-------------------------------------------

Contact ATI for a BIOS upgrade.

------------------------------------
Heretic is too dark to see anything.
------------------------------------

On some monitors, Heretic may be too dark to play. Press F-11 to
improve the view.

---------------------------------------
Why can't I get music or sound effects?
---------------------------------------

If you're not hearing sound effects and/or music, Heretic may have
incorrect information regarding your sound card. Run the SETUP program to
check if Heretic has the correct information on your sound card.

Note: Heretic only supports IRQ numbers which or 7 or below. Be sure you set
your sound card to an IRQ number which is 7 or below. Refer to your sound
card manual for details on setting your IRQ number.

Note: This is particularly important for Gravis Ultra Sound users because
the standard default for the GUS card is 11.

---------------------------------
How can I run Heretic under OS/2?
---------------------------------

The ideal Heretic-OS/2 system is a 486/66 with at least 8MB of RAM.
In order to get Heretic up and running, first copy a program object to the
desktop from the templates folder. For details on this procedure, please
refer to your OS/2 Manual. Once you have the program path and optional
command line arguments set up for the program object, you will need to edit
the DOS session settings.

In order to get Heretic up and running, first copy a program object
to the desktop from the templates folder. For details on this procedure,
please refer to your OS/2 Manual.

Once you have the program path and optional command line arguments
set up for the program object, you will need to edit the DOS session settings.
Heretic will NOT run in a DOS window.

The DOS settings are as follows:

Setting: Value:
AUDIO_ADAPTER_SHARING REQUIRED
COM_DIRECT_ACCESS ON
COM_HOLD OFF
COM_RECEIVE_BUFFER_FLUSH NONE
COM_SELECT ALL
DOS_AUTOEXEC *DRIVE:\AUTOEXEC.BAT
DOS_BACKGROUND_EXECUTION OFF
DOS_BREAK OFF
DOS_DEVICE *DRIVE:\OS2\MDOS\LPTDD.SYS
DOS_FCBS 16
DOS_FCBS_KEEP 8
DOS_FILES 20
DOS_HIGH OFF
DOS_LASTDRIVE Z
DOS_RMSIZE 640
DOS_SHELL *DRIVE:\OS2\MDOS\COMMAND.COM
*DRIVE:\OS2\MDOS
DOS_STARTUP_DRIVE ***
DOS_UMB OFF
DOS_VERSION ***
DPMI_DOS_API DISABLED
DPMI_MEMORY_LIMIT 4
DPMI_NETWORK_BUFFER_SIZE 64
EMS_FRAME_LOCATION NONE
EMS_HIGH_OS_MAP_REGION 0
EMS_LOW_OS_MAP_REGION 0
EMS_MEMORY_LIMIT 0
HW_NOSOUND OFF
HW_ROM_TO_RAM OFF
HW_TIMER ON
IDLE_SECONDS 0
IDLE_SENSITIVITY 100
INT_DURING_IO ON
KBD_ALTHOME_BYPASS ON
KBD_BUFFER_EXTEND ON
KBD_CTRL_BYPASS NONE
KBD_RATE_LOCK OFF
MEM_EXCLUDE_REGIONS ***
MEM_INCLUDE_REGIONS ***
MOUSE_EXCLUSIVE_ACCESS ON
**NETWARE_RESOURCES GLOBAL
PRINT_SEPERATE_OUTPUT ON
PRINT_TIMEOUT 15
VIDEO_8514A_XGA_IOTRAP OFF
VIDEO_FASTPASTE OFF
VIDEO_MODE_RESTRICTION NONE
VIDEO_ONDEMAND_MEMORY OFF
VIDEO_RETRACE_EMULATION OFF
VIDEO_ROM_EMULATION OFF
VIDEO_SWITCH_NOTIFICATION OFF
VIDEO_WINDOW_REFRESH 1
**VIPX_ENABLED ON
XMS_HANDLES 0
XMS_MEMORY_LIMIT 0
XMS_MINIMUM_HMA 0

*DRIVE = The drive your OS/2 system files are located on.
**Only required for Network play
*** Leave as default

------------------------------------------------------------------
During startup, the Heretic startup stops at "looking for node..."
------------------------------------------------------------------

This occurs when you enter a number of players greater than the
amount of players actually entering the game. For example, if you only have
three players playing, but you tell Heretic to expect four players, it will
wait until the fourth player starts the game. Press ESC to exit and restart
the game with the correct number of players.

----------------------------------------------------
I'm receiving the error, "IPX NETWORK NOT DETECTED."
----------------------------------------------------

Currently, Heretic only supports a network that uses the IPX
protocol. If you receive this message, check your network manual to ensure
your network uses the IPX protocol.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I've received the message, "CONSISTENCY FAILURE" while running Heretic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

For Heretic to run properly as a multiplayer game, all of the
machines that are running Heretic must maintain a nearly identical status of
the game during network play. If you receive this message, something has
occurred which caused the multiplayer game on one computer to be different
from the multiplayer games running on the other systems. If this occurs, all
of the players must quit from Heretic and restart the game.

-----------------------------------------------------
Why can't I get Heretic to run as a multiplayer game?
-----------------------------------------------------

If someone else is running Heretic in multiplayer you may receive a
network port conflict. From the SETUP program, change Heretic to run under a
different port. Consult with the person in charge of your network to receive
a valid port address.

-------------------------------
Why isn't the animation smooth?
-------------------------------

If the animation isn't running smoothly on your system you should try
reducing the window size. Refer to your Heretic manual for instructions on
this options. Or get a faster computer!

---------------------------------------
Why doesn't my mouse work with Heretic?
---------------------------------------

If you renamed or commented-out information in your AUTOEXEC.BAT you
may have removed the command which loads your mouse driver. Loading your
mouse driver into DOS can be as simple as typing MOUSE and pressing ENTER at
the command prompt.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Why can't I find a plasma rifle, BFG 9000, Berserk power-up, or
invulnerability power-up?
---------------------------------------------------------------

Because you're playing Heretic, not DOOM or DOOM II. Please ask
us questions that make darn good sense.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why can't I find the Hellstaff or Phoenix Rod or any of the other really cool
power-ups I've heard about?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because you haven't bought the registered version of Heretic yet.
These awesome components of Heretic are available ONLY in the registered
version. Call 1-800-IDGAMES for a remedy.

That's it I hope this helps A LOT!!!

This is the full text of a Toshiba press release on January 6 detailing the release of their new HD DVD players.

State-of-the-Art Performance, Successful Promotions and Affordable Pricing Result in Strong Consumer Acceptance of Third Generation Players

LAS VEGAS, Jan. 6 /PRNewswire/ — CES — Demonstrating strong consumer acceptance for the HD DVD format, Toshiba America Consumer Products L.L.C. (“Toshiba”) today announced that the rollout of its third generation HD DVD players has been the most successful to date. With their unrivaled performance including real-world Web-enabled networking capabilities, consumers have chosen Toshiba’s third generation HD DVD players for their ultimate high def entertainment experience, resulting in the strongest quarter of unit sales to date and solidifying Toshiba’s market share leadership position.

“We are pleased with the consumer acceptance of our HD DVD players in the market,” said Jodi Sally, Vice President of Marketing, Toshiba’s Digital A/V Group. The combination of HD DVD’s state of the art audio/video performance and unrivaled interactive capabilities along with exciting consumer promotions and affordable pricing in 2007 marked significant accomplishments for the HD DVD format.

An HD DVD World

As it has become established in the market, HD DVD has delivered on the promise of next generation entertainment in the home, which has led to the expansion of high definition in all areas of the consumer experience.

“Because HD DVD is a standardized format and meets the spec guidelines mandated and approved by the DVD Forum, it provides a consistent platform for all applications of next generation high definition video such as mobile entertainment and makes it possible to enjoy HD DVD in a multitude of lifestyle settings,” said Yoshi Uchiyama, Group Vice President America Digital A/V Group. “Whether as a standalone player for a home theater as a companion drive to the Xbox 360(TM) gaming machine or as an HD DVD-ROM drive for computers, HD DVD will be in many facets of consumers’ lives. As part of our vision for transitioning movie lovers to high definition, our goal is to extend HD DVD beyond the traditional home entertainment experience.”

Fulfilling the promise of HD DVD

Toshiba also announced its commitment to enhancing the consumer’s HD DVD player purchase with the introduction of the “HD DVD Concierge,” a new 800 number offering dedicated assistance to purchasers of HD DVD players. Consumers can now call 1-888-MY HDDVD (1-888-694-3383) for answers to general questions about HD DVD, for operational assistance or for assistance with various marketing initiatives. Trained service agents will provide the latest information on HD DVD enabling consumers to get the most from their purchase.

Toshiba delivers a richer interactive experience-now

With interactivity built into every HD DVD player as a mandatory spec, and with the reality of Web-enabled network capabilities, Toshiba delivers on the promise of a totally new experience. HD DVD allows studios to flex their creative muscle in ways never before offered or not currently available on any other format. 2007 saw the introduction of online polling, ringtones and online shopping to name a few, all from the HD DVD player itself and from the comfort of one’s own home. The latest of these new experiences is online streaming. Now when consumers connect their HD DVD player to the Internet via the standard Ethernet port on every player, they can stream new content or trailers, as available, directly from a movie studio’s server. “It’s exciting to see the studios bring HD DVD to life through new interactive features and Web-enabled network capabilities,” said Uchiyama. “By consistently delivering unique entertainment experiences, we’re changing the world of movie watching and giving meaning to the HD DVD experience.” Consumers have spoken, and data from Universal Home Video and Paramount and DreamWorks Animation SKG shows that an average of 30 percent of HD DVD owners have accessed Web-enabled network features and continue to do so regularly.

About Toshiba HD DVD Players and Third Generation Line

HD DVD was designed from the outset to be the evolution of the DVD format; every Toshiba HD DVD player is designed to play back DVDs and CDs. Toshiba’s HD DVD players will not only play DVD but will instantly make a movie lover’s existing DVD library look even better than it ever did with upconversion via the HDMI(TM) output. With the HD DVD format, consumers can experience true high def 1080p resolution for extraordinary detail that matches the latest state of the art 1080p HDTVs. Select Toshiba HD DVD players display images at 24 frames per second, the same frame rate used by directors when using film to create motion pictures, for a smoother, more film like, viewing experience.

Toshiba’s third generation family starts with the entry level HD-A3 player featuring 1080i output capability. The other two new models, Toshiba’s HD-A30 and HD-A35, output 1080p resolution (1920 x 1080p), the highest HD signal currently available. Both models are capable of outputting signals at 1080p/24 frames per second so consumers can enjoy movies in their native frame rate. The HD-A30 and HD-A35 models also feature “REGZA(R) Link” (HDMI(TM)-CEC), allowing two-way control between the HD DVD player and a TV through an HDMI connection.

All Toshiba HD DVD players also feature twin video processors and advanced audio to deliver an immersive home theater experience with features such as picture-in-picture video and audio commentary. Thanks to the Ethernet port and flash memory built into every Toshiba HD DVD player, movie lovers also can enjoy the benefits of Web-enabled network connectivity. Plus, Toshiba’s third generation players have a new slim design cabinet that is approximately 1/4- inch slimmer than second generation models.

HD DVD’s Commitment to Green

Toshiba is committed to not only making its products consumer friendly, but friendly to the environment as well. Its products, including the third generation HD DVD players, meet Toshiba’s voluntary environmental standards and ongoing efforts to bring eco-conscious products to market and comply with the company’s strict environmental policies. Environmental management is promoted both from the standpoint of improving products themselves and renewing manufacturing processes, which not only calls for the restriction of the use of hazardous substances in products, but also to avoid using such substances in any manufacturing process.

For example, Toshiba HD DVD players are compliant with the EU RoHS Directive, a European Union environmental directive that restricts the use of six hazardous substances, including lead, mercury and cadmium. Also, for energy conservation, all third generation players meet the Energy Star standard. Toshiba will place the Toshiba Group Earth Protection mark on its third generation players’ catalogs and manuals. The Toshiba Environmental Standard for granting the Toshiba Group Earth Protection mark is on Toshiba America Consumer Products, L.L.C.’s official website.

Pricing and Availability:

• HD-A3 ($299.99, Available Now)
• HD-A30 ($399.99, Available Now)
• HD-A35 ($499.99, Available Now)
• HD-XA2 ($799.99, Available Now)

Important Notes:

HD DVD with high-definition content required for HD viewing. Up-conversion of DVD content will result in near HD picture quality. Viewing high-definition content and up-converting DVD content may require an HDCP capable DVI or HDMI input on your display device. 1080p capable display required for viewing content in 1080p. Firmware update may be required for some interactive features depending on content, which may also require an always-on broadband internet connection. Some features may require additional bandwidth. To take advantage of web-enabled network content, installing the latest firmware ( ver.2.4 for HD DVD player models HD-XA1, HD-A1, and HD-D1; ver.2.7 for HD- XA2, HD-A2, HD-A2W, HD-D2, HD-A2C, and HD-A20; and ver.1.3 for HD-A35, HD-A30, and HD-A3) is required. Web-enabled network features require an always on broadband connection along with specific movie titles that include this form of content. For 24p output, content that was created in 1080p/24 frames/sec is required. Viewing 24p output requires an HD display capable of accepting a 1080p/24Hz signal. Use of REGZA Link, which is a feature based on HDMI-CEC, requires an HDMI-CEC compatible display device. Depending on the specifications of your TV, some or all REGZA Link functions may not work even if your TV is HDMI-CEC compatible. Dolby(R) Digital Plus, Dolby(R) TrueHD and DTS(R) support for up to 5.1 channels (DTS HD(R) support for DTS(R) core only). MP3/WMA audio files not supported. HDMI audio output requires connection to a PCM capable device. Because HD DVD is a new format that makes use of new technologies, certain disc, digital connection and other compatibility and/or performance issues are possible. This may, in rare cases, include disc freezing while accessing certain disc features or functions, or certain parts of the disc not playing back or operating as fully intended. If you experience such issues, please refer to the FAQ sections of www.toshibahddvd.com or www.tacp.toshiba.com for information on possible work- around solutions or the availability of firmware updates that may resolve your problem, or contact Toshiba Customer Solutions. Some features subject to delayed availability. While every effort has been made at the time of publication to ensure the accuracy of the information provided herein, product specifications, configurations, system/component/options availability are all subject to change without notice.

About Toshiba America Consumer Products, L.L.C.

Toshiba America Consumer Products, L.L.C. is owned by Toshiba America, Inc., a subsidiary of Toshiba Corporation, a world leader in high technology products with subsidiaries worldwide. Toshiba is a pioneer in HD DVD, DVD and DVD Recorder technology and a leading manufacturer of a full line of home entertainment products, including flat panel TV, combination products and portable devices. Toshiba America Consumer Products, L.L.C. is headquartered in Wayne, New Jersey. For additional information, please visit www.tacp.toshiba.com.

Scene 1

• It can’t be 0630 yet, XO, what’s up?
• You handle it, XO, I’m beat
• Have someone bring it to me
• Dismissed, wheeler, and have the XO come to my cabin
• This is as serious as it gets XO, take a look at this
• How she got out is anyone’s guess….

Scene 2

• I want you supervising sonar, Mr. Foster. Drag a cot in here if you have to
• We’re liaison-authorized to talk to the Carrier Battle Group. Get him on the horn
• I received your message from CONSUBLANT…

Scene 3

• At best speed, what are the probable…
• Kilo Class submarine, probably a performance upgrade
• Standard speed will be sufficient…

Scene 4

• How’s your readiness posture Weps?
• I’d like to put us on an increased readiness footing. Double your watch until further notice.

Scene 5

• Was it a malfunction in your gear?
• You said the volume changed with speed. It it some kind of hull effect?
• Do we have a problem here, or are we worrying about nothing?
• How long would a hull search take?
• I want to lock out a diver, XO. I want a thorough hull search.

Scene 6

• Let me see it
• Get it back to ChEng..and i want answers

Scene 7

• I’m willing to hear a list of suspects. Who had the opportunity…or motive to stick that thing on the hull?
• Anything strange happen….
• Everyone’s a suspect, Mr. Wheeler, until I can find out who put that whistle on the hull of my ship.

Scene 8

• Why were you late?
• That thing was found at 9 feet…
• Who told you? Who told you to do it?
• Why were you late?
• I’m placing you under arrest…

Scene 9

• Sound the general alarm. Take evasive action.
• Return fire. Break contact
• Continue to move closer
• Standby

Scene 10

• Is it the kilo?
• Can you give me a course and speed on this contact?

Scene 11

• I think i have a grasp of the tactical situation. I’d like to hear some suggestions.
• You mean the Akula’s trying to give away her location?
• You got about 20 seconds to get me interested, Master Chief…start talking.

Scene 12

• Get me a firing solution
• Fire tube 1
• Prepare to fire second torpedo
• Fire tube 2
• Place m48 in command mode..Order it to kill sierra 25
• I gave you an order XO….

Scene 13

• Place him under arrest XO

Scene 14

• Put the gun down wheeler. You don’t want to hurt anyone

Scene 15

• Break contact. Get us out of here

Scene 16

• Come to periscope depth and give them a nav fix
• Shoot!
• Ready tube 2

From here, you’ve won. Save the game (CTRL-S) and reload (CTRL-L) to watch the three happy endings.

We thank The Spoiler Centre, which put up the first Silent Steel walkthrough many years ago.

This is the original glossary of terms from the 1995 PC game Silent Steel. These terms are only valid for the video game and should not be taken as scientific.

1-MC: The ship-wide intercom system aboard U.S. submarines.
Acoustic Beacon or Generator: A noisemaker.
Acoustic Homing: Modern torpedoes use either acoustic homing or wire guidance. An acoustic homing weapon uses on-board sonar to direct itself into its target.
Acoustic Library: A computer listing of all known sonar sounds, both natural and man-made, against which unknown contacts are compared in order to assist in identifying the unknown contact.
Active Homing: When a torpedo’s acoustic homing sonar is activated, the weapon is in “active homing” mode.
ACTUAL: A radio call-sign designation indicating that the officer-in-charge is responding to the transmission.
ADCAP–ADvanced CAPability: Latest version of the Mark 48 torpedo used by U.S. submarines.
Admiral “Wild Bill” Plaskett: Commander of Task Force Charlie One Tango, operating in the Atlantic Ocean near the Straits of Gibraltar.
Aft: The rearmost section of a ship.
Air Wing: Two or more squadrons of naval aircraft.
Akula: NATO designation for a Soviet submarine type. The Soviets do not reveal the actual class names of their vessels, so NATO randomly assigns designations based on the phonetic alphabet. The nuclear-powered Akula is the most advanced Soviet hunter-killer submarine and is on a par with early U.S. attack submarines.
Ambient Sound: Those sounds ordinarily occurring in nature.
ASROC–AntiSubmarine ROCket: Fired from ships, it is used to attack submarines. A solid fuel rocket boosts a homing torpedo to within 60 miles of the presumed location of an enemy submarine. Upon arrival in the target area, the torpedo is lowered into the water by parachute. Once in the water, the torpedo’s built-in acoustic homing guides it to the target.
ASW–AntiSubmarine Warfare: The art and science of hunting and destroying submarines.
Baffles: The cone-shaped area extending directly behind a submarine underway where sonar cannot detect any sounds due to the noise caused by the submarine’s own propeller.
Ballast: Large tanks are filled with seawater, which acts as weight, causing the submarine to lose buoyancy and sink. To surface, compressed air is pumped into the tanks, forcing the seawater out and restoring positive buoyancy.
Battle Stations: Areas throughout the ship which crew members man during engagements with the enemy. These may or may not be their standard assigned sections.
Bearing: The direction to a target in relation to your ship (the nose of your ship being 000 degrees).
Best Speed: The fastest speed a ship can maintain when sailing from one point to another, considering the need to refuel, snorkel, avoid restricted or dangerous areas, or slow to allow less capable vessels to keep up.
Biologic Effect: Sounds picked up by hydrophone or sonar which are caused by biological entities native to the sea.
Blow: A command issued to release ballast from a submarine by pumping compressed air into ballast tanks to force out seawater.
Blue-On-Blue Engagement: !122 Naval term for two or more U.S. ships believing the other to be the enemy and engaging one another.
Boat: Submarines were originally referred to as boats due to their smaller size. They are now as large or larger than many naval vessels and are considered ships. Generally a boat is a vessel that can be carried by a ship.
Bow: The nose or front of a ship.
Bow Planes: !125 Fin-like appendages, located on the bow of the submarine, used to control the angle of the dive.
Bridge: On a submarine, the small observation area on top of the fairwater or sail.
Burst Transmission: A pre-encoded transmission which is compressed and sent in its entirety in less than a second. Burst transmissions are used to minimize the exposure of the sender.
Captain’s Mast: Session aboard ship at which the captain administers non-judicial punishment or commends outstanding performance.
Carrier Battle Group: The most powerful tactical unit of the U.S. Navy, consisting of one or more aircraft carriers as well as ASW and anti-air escorts.
Cavalla: Submarine aboard which the XO of the USS Idaho once served.
Cavitation: In shallow water or during quick acceleration, a partial vacuum forms around the blades of the propeller resulting in the formation of tiny air bubbles which cause increased noise levels.
Charleston: Port city and naval base in South Carolina, home to the USS Idaho.
Charlie One Tango: Carrier Battle Group commanded by Admiral “Wild Bill” Plaskett.
ChEng–Chief Engineer: The officer in charge of maintaining the ships propulsion systems.
Chopped: Slang for a temporary duty assignment.
Class: Ship types are assigned to various classes based on type of construction and mission assignment. In the U.S. Navy, the name of the first vessel constructed within each class is assigned to the class. In the Soviet Navy, NATO assigns class names unless the Soviets release the class name.
Combat Depth: The maximum emergency depth at which a submarine can safely operate without jeopardizing the integrity of the hull.
Communication Buoy: A radio transmitter buoy released from a submerged submarine. The buoy may float for several hours before transmitting its message in an effort to frustrate any tracking attempts undertaken by an enemy to determine the actual location of the submarine.
Compartmentalized Information: The practice by which information is revealed on a “need-to- know” basis in order to maintain security.
COMSUBLANT–COMmander SUBmarines AtLANTic: The admiral in charge of all submarines in the Atlantic Ocean.
Conn–Conning Tower: The control room from which navigation and attacks are directed.
Contact: Sonar reference referring to receiving a return or picking up sound from an unknown source. Contacts are then assigned a designation as in “Sierra 25″ or “Sierra 27″, with the numerical designation referring to the chronological order in which the contact was made.
Convergence Zone: In deep water, the pressure can turn sound waves upward toward the surface. The sound waves then bounce off the surface to return to the depths where the pressure again forces it to the surface. This phenomenon may result in sonar contacts at greater than normal distances.
Corfam: The standard black U.S. Navy shoe.
Countermeasures: Devices launched from a submarine which imitate the noises generated by the submarine in an effort to draw enemy fire away from the actual submarine.
Dead Slow: Reference to a ship’s speed; in this case, only enough headway is maintained to allow steerage.
Deck Division: Those sailors assigned to work on deck when a submarine is surfaced.
Deputy Director Matthews: CIA official in charge of the information and events surrounding the USS Idaho.
Destroyer: A naval vessel, slightly larger than a frigate, usually equipped for either ASW or anti-air operations.
Diagnostic: A system’s check, usually performed by the operator when a malfunction is suspected.
Diesel Boat: Diesel submarines are actually powered by electric batteries. When the batteries run down, the submarine must recharge them by running diesel engines which require the submarine to either surface or use a snorkel device to provide sufficient air to run the diesel engines. When running on electric motors, these submarines are virtually silent.
Dipping Sonar: A helicopter-borne sonar which is lowered into the water by means of a cable, usually from an ASW helicopter. Data is transmitted from the sonar up the cable to the helicopter. After data has been gathered, the sonar is reeled back into the helicopter and re-lowered at a new location.
Diving Officer: The officer on a submarine responsible for overseeing submerging and surfacing the ship as well as maintaining the desired depth.
Down Bubble: A device used to measure the degree of downward incline when diving a submarine.
Drift Net: Type of fishing net set loose and allowed to drift which is later retrieved by the boat that dropped it off.
ELINT–ELectronic INTelligence: Sonar, radar and communications signals detected by receivers aboard patrol aircraft. This information is used to determine type and location of enemy vessels.
EMCON–EMission CONtrol: Electronic equipment sends out active signals, called emissions, that can be detected. Emission Control is used to restrict such transmissions and reduce the chance of detection.
Emergency Blow: Command reference to release ballast from a submarine by rapidly pumping compressed air into ballast tanks, without regard to noise generated, to force seawater of ballast tanks and enable an endangered submarine to reach the surface.
Enchilada: The whole kit n kaboodle. The whole shebang. Everything including the kitchen sink. A tasty Mexican food item wrapped in a tortilla and usually filled with chicken, beef and/or cheese. Slang meaning everything.
Engineering: Ship’s section responsible for maintaining equipment and systems.
Ensign: Lowest naval officer ranking.
Ensign Foster: Navigational and sonar officer aboard the USS Idaho.
Escape Trunk: A special hatch in a submarine built to allow entry and exit of individuals while submerged.
Evil Empire: Slang reference to the Soviet Union, popularized by former President Ronald Reagan.
EYES ONLY: Secrecy classification indicating that the message is to be read only by the person to whom it is addressed.
Fairwater: U.S. Navy term for the sail on a submarine.
Fast Attack: A class of submarines tasked with hunting and sinking other submarines.
Firing Point Procedure: Standard operating procedures used when launching a torpedo from a submarine.
Fish: Slang for torpedo.
Flank: Reference to a ship’s speed; in this case, the fastest emergency speed.
Foxtrot: NATO designation for a Soviet submarine type. The Soviets do not reveal the actual class names of their vessels, so NATO randomly assigns designations based on the phonetic alphabet. The Foxtrot is an older model, diesel-powered submarine often sold to Soviet block nations.
Frame 180: Submarines are constructed using numbered bulkheads or frames. Frames are numbered beginning at the bow and working aft. The numbering system allows for rapid location of damage or other events throughout the ship.
Full: In reference to a ship’s speed, the maximum standard power setting.
General Quarters: Command reference which indicates that crew members must man their battle stations.
Gertrude Telephone: Term originating from World War II to describe any equipment used for underwater communications.
Good Quiet: A condition under which all non-essential machinery and equipment is shut down in order to minimize the noise generated by a submarine.
Head: An original naval term for a toilet.
Helmsman: Crew position from which the attitude within the water and direction of travel of the submarine are controlled.
Homing Device: A device which produces a sound or signal which can be used for tracking any vessel to which the device is attached.
Hull Effect: Noise caused by the hull of the ship or by something attached to the hull.
Hydrophone Effect: Contact made via hydrophones.
Hydrophone: A passive sonar. Hydrophones are sensitive listening devices used to pick up sound waves moving through the water. Passive sonar has the advantage of not making any noise and, therefore, not alerting an enemy to your presence.
Ice Cream 27: Call-sign designation for the ASW helicopter in Silent Steel.
Ivan: Slang term referring to Soviet forces or equipment.
Kilo: NATO designation for a Soviet submarine type. The Soviets do not reveal the actual class names of their vessels, so NATO randomly assigns designations based on the phonetic alphabet. The Kilo is an older model, diesel-powered submarine often sold to Soviet block nations.
King’s Bay: The harbor in Charleston, South Carolina.
Knots: A measurement of speed; one nautical mile-per-hour.
Kodiak, Alaska: The last naval station on Earth a naval officer would want to be assigned, except maybe Diego Garcia, an island in the Indian Ocean.
LF Signal–Low Frequency Signal: Radio frequency used for submarine communications.
Liaison-Authorized: Terminology included in a ship’s orders allowing communication between that ship and a named recipient.
Line Handling Party: Those sailors in the Deck Division responsible for the various lines used to secure the submarine to a dock or pier.
Locator Operations: Search operations aimed at locating an enemy vessel.
Lock Out: To put a diver outside a submarine while submerged, via the airlock.
Los Angeles Class: A class of U.S. Navy high-speed nuclear attack submarines.
Lt. Wheeler: Communications Officer aboard the USS Idaho.
Main Control: The control room from which navigation and attacks are directed.
Master Chief Jollen: Chief of the Boat aboard the USS Idaho.
Master Chief: Highest enlisted rank.
Med–Mediterranean: Mediterranean Sea.
Mister: Reference which may be used when speaking to any naval officer below the rank of Commander.
Mark 48 ADCAP Torpedo: An advanced capability wire-guided or acoustic homing torpedo which is faster, can dive deeper, and has improved electronics and acoustics over its predecessors.
Missile Deck: The area on deck directly above the missile silos on a ballistic missile submarine.
Movement: Term referring to a ship’s scheduled departure for a cruise or patrol.
Nautical Mile: 1852 meters; almost two kilometers.
NATO: North Atlantic Treaty Organization
Nav Materials: The various charts, courses and speed required to navigate a ship at sea.
New London: New London, Connecticut, home of General Dynamics Electric Boat Company, builder of submarines for the U.S. Navy.
Noise Signature: The sounds generated by the normal operation of a ship. Each vessel has a unique noise signature.
Nuke–Nuclear Power: Nuclear-powered ships use a nuclear reactor to heat water, which in turn drives a steam generator to provide power. While nuclear-powered submarines do not need to recharge batteries and, therefore have virtually unlimited range coupled with the ability to stay submerged indefinitely, the pumps required to circulate coolant for their nuclear reactors make them noisier than their diesel counterparts.
OOD–Officer Of the Deck: An officer on duty aboard ship acting as the commanding officer’s representative, usually on the conn.
On Watch: A sailor’s assigned duty period.
On-Line: Fully functional; up and running.
One-third: A reference to ship’s speed. In this reference, one-third of full speed.
Ordinance: Weapons, such as torpedoes, SUBROCs, ASROCs and missiles.
Ordinance Technician: Crew member responsible for maintaining all ordinance.
Out-chopped: Slang for “exited”.
Outer Doors: The doors in the hull of a submarine covering the exit of the torpedo tubes. More accurately called SHUTTER DOORS.
Page-13: A disciplinary sheet which may be found in the permanent record of military personnel.
Passage Chart: The map on which a specific, and in the case of ballistic missile submarines, secret patrol route has been marked.
Passive Sets: Sonar listening devices which use no active means of data gathering in order to remain silent.
Patrol: In the case of ballistic missile submarines, a cruise of a specific number of days within a designated area for the purpose of being in position to launch missiles at an enemy, should the orders for launch be given.
Patrol Box: The area in which a ballistic missile submarine conducts its secret patrol.
Performance Upgrade: Additions or modifications to an existing vessel for the purpose of improving the mission capabilities of that vessel.
Periscope Depth: The depth at which a submerged submarine can extend its periscope above the surface.
Periscope: Any one of several varieties of optical instruments allowing submarines, while remaining submerged, to view activity on or above the surface.
Pinging: Sound generated by active sonar.
PMS–Preventative Maintenance, Scheduled: Routine maintenance performed at regularly scheduled intervals in order to maintain peak equipment efficiency.
Polishing the Cannonball: An attempt to generate a near-perfect firing solution before issuing the command to fire.
Port: The left side of a ship relative to an individual facing forward.
PRC 1000: Video communications device used aboard the USS Idaho.
Prop–Propeller: More accurately called a screw, the device which, when turned by the ship’s engines, propels a submarine through the water.
Rain Locker: Slang for a ship-board shower.
Ready Service: Reference to equipment which has been placed at its normal readiness posture.
Red Phone: Usually a specific phone reserved for only the highest priority communications.
Rig for ….: Command reference indicating that the ship needs to be placed in some specified condition as in “Rig for dive” or “Rig for good quiet”.
Rocket-Delivered Torpedo: Launched from submarines against other submarines, a solid fuel rocket boosts a homing torpedo to within 60 miles of the presumed location of the enemy submarine. Upon arrival in the target area, the torpedo is lowered into the water by parachute.
Rota: Naval base in the city of Rota, Spain which serves as the Operations Center for the Mediterranean SOSUS net.
Rudder: A movable waterfoil attached to the stern of a ship, used to determine the lateral direction of travel of the ship.
Sabotage: Destruction or obstructive action carried out by an enemy in order to impede a nation’s war effort or undermine their security.
Sail: The streamlined conning tower protruding from the top of a submarine.
Sail Planes: Fin-like appendages, located on the exterior of the conning tower or sail of the submarine, used to control the angle of the dive.
Sat Phone: Telephone communications device using a satellite link.
SATCOM–SATellite COMmunications: Any communications means which uses a satellite link.
Screws: The technical term for a ship’s propeller.
Sea Mount: An under-sea mountain.
Self-Destruct: A safety feature built into modern torpedoes allowing them to be destroyed after launch by means of a signal sent via the wire-guidance system.
SET-65 Torpedo: Latest design Soviet submarine torpedo.
SH-60B Seahawk: A twin-engine helicopter equipped with powerful, advanced electronics, the Seahawk can search for surface ships and submarines and attack both types.
Silent Running: A condition under which all non-essential machinery and equipment is shut down in order to minimize the noise generated by a submarine.
Silent Service: Nickname for the submarine service.
Sleeve: Derogatory reference referring to a sailor with no rank or time-in-service.
Snap Shoot: An emergency torpedo launch in which a torpedo is launched down the reciprocal bearing of an incoming enemy weapon or on the straight-line bearing of a close contact. Analogous to the fastest draw in a gunfight.
Sneak-n-Peek: Idiom meaning to move slowly and with great caution while looking for any sign of enemy presence or activity.
Snorkel: A device which, when extended above the surface from a submerged submarine, allows air to be pumped into the submerged submarine to enable diesel engines to be run for the recharging of electric batteries. A noisy and dangerous activity when engaged in combat operations.
Sonar–SOund NAvigation and Ranging: Generally refers to active sonar which emits a sound wave or ping which is reflected back to the source from any solid object which the sound wave encounters. Active sonar provide very reliable information about any contact, but also alerts the enemy to your location.
Sonar Watch: The officers and men on duty in the sonar room constitute the sonar watch.
Sonobouys: Small, air-droppable sonar devices used to detect submarines. They may be either active pinging sonars or passive listening devices. ASW aircraft usually carry large numbers of sonobouys.
SOP–Standard Operating Procedure: Standardized instructions covering the optimum procedures for many different types of operations and conditions.
SOSUS–SOund SUrveillance System: A series of fixed passive sonar arrays used by NATO to provide information regarding movement of Soviet submarines.
SSN-16: Soviet designed rocket-delivered torpedo.
Standard Speed: Reference to a ship’s speed; in this case, the normal cruising speed.
Starboard: The right side of a ship relative to an individual facing forward.
Stern: The rear section or tail of a ship.
Strategic Asset: In the U.S. Navy, any ship or weapon system designed to strike the enemy at the sources of his military, economic or political power.
Stripe: A designation for level of rank among enlisted personnel.
Surface Layer: The water between the ocean’s surface and the first thermal layer. The depth of the layer is determined by water conditions and may vary from 30 to 200 feet.
Surface Impact: Sonar reference to the sound generated by an object striking the surface of the water.
SURFLANT–SURFace Forces AtLANTic: Designation referring to all U.S. Navy surface vessels assigned to the Atlantic Ocean.
Swim Buddies: U.S. Navy SEAL term for a pair of swimmers working as a team.
Swiss Combat Medals: A humorous reference, since Switzerland is well known for its historically neutral political stance.
Tactical Problem: Term usually referring to small-scale weapons or forces put into action at a battle area with only a limited or immediate end in view.
Tactical Dump: Briefing materials related to a tactical problem.
TB-23: Integrated towed sonar suite and fire control system stored on a reel in the aft ballast tank area.
Theatre-Level: Operations which take place within a specified geographical area of responsibility assigned to a naval battle group.
Three Whisky Gulf: Phonetic alphabet designation for the USS Idaho.
Torpedo Door Event: Sonar reference to the sound of a submarine opening its outer torpedo doors in preparation for firing.
Torpedo Room: That part of a submarine designed for the storage, maintenance and launching of torpedoes.
Torpedo: Primary offensive weapon of a submarine.
Towed Array: A long, tapered cable connected to a collection of hydrophones. By separating the hydrophones from the ship, the array is not limited by noise generated by the submarine, thereby increasing detection range. While helpful, towed arrays limit a submarine’s speed and maneuverability.
Traffic: Communications reference to incoming or outgoing messages.
Two-thirds: Reference to a ship’s speed; in this case, two-thirds of full speed.
Udaloy: The Udaloy class is designed primarily for antisubmarine warfare, although its dual purpose SS-N-14 cruise misslies can also be employed against surface targets. This was the first Soviet destroyer-sized design to carry two helicopters and is equipped with bow-mounted and towed, variable-depth, low-frequency sonars.
Uncertainty Zone: An area into which an enemy has traveled estimated by calculating time and best speed from a known location.
Underway: A ship steaming under its own power is said to be “underway”.
Uniform Code of Military Justice: The set of rules and regulations which govern military conduct.
Up Bubble: Used to measure the degree of upward incline when surfacing a submarine.
USS Biloxi: Los Angeles class attack submarine in Silent Steel.
USS Idaho: Ohio class ballistic missile submarine aboard which Silent Steel takes place.
VLF Wire–Very Low Frequency Wire: Communications antenna extended from the submarine at periscope depth. Allows transmission of communication signals.
Wardroom: The dining area and social center for officers on a submarine.
War Shot: A fully-armed weapon.
Watch Profile: The specific duty assignments of a particular watch section.
Watch Section: The officers and men on duty in a specified area constitute the watch section for that area.
Waypoint: Navigational points at which course changes may take place.
Weapons Envelope: The parameters under which a particular weapon is designed to function.
WEPS–Weapons Officer: Officer in charge of maintaining all weapons and weapons systems aboard ship.
Whisky: NATO designation for a Soviet submarine type. The Soviets do not reveal the actual class names of their vessels, so NATO randomly assigns designations based on the phonetic alphabet. The Whisky is an older model, diesel-powered submarine often sold to Soviet block nations.
Wire-Guide Capability: Modern torpedoes use either acoustic homing or wire guidance. A wire- guided weapon is connected to the submarine by a thin wire, through which course and speed changes can be passed to the weapon en route to its target.
WLR-9: Acoustic intercept receiver (passive sonar) found aboard U.S. submarines.
XO–Executive Officer: Second in command of a naval vessel. The XO is responsible for the day-to-day operation of the ship while the captain keeps track of the “big picture”.
Yankee Victor: Phonetic alphabet designation for the patrol area of the USS Idaho.

Transcript:

JAY LENO: Folks, up until a few weeks ago, my next guest was an also ran with a funny name in the Republican campaign. He still has a funny name, but now he’s near the top in the national polls. He’s neck in neck with the Mitt Romney in Iowa, and the caucus there will be held tomorrow. Please welcome Mike Huckabee, ladies and gentlemen.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: Thanks for coming.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Wonderful to be here. Thank you.

JAY LENO: This is what I find fascinating about American politics. I kind of follow this kind of stuff. So I’ve known who you are for a while, but you literally, in the last couple of months, have come from nowhere with hardly any money. Explain how this happens.

MIKE HUCKABEE: I’m just trying to keep from going back to nowhere as fast as I can.

(Laughter.)

I’ve seen a lot of this. People are looking for a presidential candidate who reminds them more of the guy they work with rather than the guy that laid them off. I think that’s part of what’s going on right now.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: Right. Now, tell us about your background. I know you’re from Hope, Arkansas.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Yes, born and raised there.

JAY LENO: Also, of course, President Clinton did you know each other
growing up?

MIKE HUCKABEE: We didn’t know each other growing up. He’s 9 years older, and he had moved away when he was like 7 years old and went to Hot Springs. When he ran for President, somehow it just didn’t sound right to say, “I believe in a place called Hot Springs.” So he talked about his birth place.

(Laughter.)

You can understand that. We all understand that.

JAY LENO: Now, your first career was as a Baptist minister. How long did you do that?

MIKE HUCKABEE: About 12 years.

JAY LENO: How did you become how did get into that line of work?

MIKE HUCKABEE: Well, I mean, the honest and serious answer is that I just saw life and a perspective in the church that I think very few people get to see. You see every single social pathology that’s out there. Nothing is abstract to you. You put a name and a face on everything, and I really began to believe that so many people making decisions that affect the way we live, the way our future would be governed, didn’t have a clue about how people were really struggling.
It became evident to me that there were a lot of folks making decisions that didn’t understand poverty, hunger, or disease. They didn’t understand the challenges that people had in their families, and for my own three children, who were small at the time, I decided I don’t want to spend the rest of my life complaining about what “they” are doing.
And I finally thought it’s time to get out of the stands and on the field and get my jersey dirty.

JAY LENO: You also played in rock band.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Yes.

JAY LENO: So it’s this is like TV Baptist minister during the day,
playing White Snake at the KitKat Club at night. Doesn’t that seem

(Laughter.)

JAY LENO: Some of your congregation (making rock music sounds.)

MIKE HUCKABEE: I never played with my teeth or anything like that. So it wasn’t totally bad. I started playing guitar when I was 11 years old. I was like so many kids that came out of the ’60s that wanted to
play guitar more than anything. When I finally got a guitar my
parents got a guitar from JCPenney, ordered it from the catalogue. I
got it Christmas 1966. They paid $99 for whole rig guitar,
amplifier. It took them a year to pay it off. My parents barely made enough money to pay the rent. We lived in a little rented house. It was a big sacrifice for them, but I played that guitar until my fingers
nearly bled and until their ears nearly bled. It was

(Laughter.)

JAY LENO: And they said, “Son why don’t you become a minister?”

(Laughter.)

MIKE HUCKABEE: I think they were hoping for me to do anything, and obviously, I wasn’t good enough to make it as a professional. So I had to find something else to do, and that looked like it was mostly indoor work and no heavy lifting. I thought it would be a pretty good way to go.

JAY LENO: Do you think you could sit in are you good enough to sit
in with our band later?

MIKE HUCKABEE: No, but I’d like to do it anyway.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: I think you first got elected about the time I took over this show, about ’92?

MIKE HUCKABEE: Well, ’93 was the first year. I ran in ’92 and lost an election. Then I ran in ’93 for lieutenant governor, and I won and reelected in ’94, became governor from the position of lieutenant governor when my predecessor resigned and then reelected twice and served ten and a half years as governor.

JAY LENO: Because when I first met you, you were living in a trailer in Arkansas.

MIKE HUCKABEE: My wife wanted me to tell you it was a manufactured home.

JAY LENO: Yes.

(Applause.)

Why were you living in a trailer? Were you trying to put on the airs and impress public constituents?

(Laughter.)

MIKE HUCKABEE: You know, it was a triple wide. A lot of people only have a single wide trailer, but we had a triple wide. It was pretty significant. Actually what was going on was the governor’s mansion was
undergoing renovation. There were a lot of things the wiring and all
this stuff had to be redone. So we had an option to go out and rent this very expensive place or find alternative housing arrangements. We decided to move in a triple wide manufactured home on the grounds of the governor’s mansion. We knew we were going to take a beating.

JAY LENO: We had a million jokes about it.

(Laughter.)

Thank you. You supported the monologue for weeks with that.

(Laughter.)

MIKE HUCKABEE: The big line was they said, “I’m sorry. I’m running
late today. I was on the interstate and got behind the governor’s mansion.

(Laughter.)

JAY LENO: Well, we actually interviewed that was the first time I
met you. You looked a lot the different then. Here he is. We’re talking seven years ago.

(Clip shown.)

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: When we come back, I want to ask you about that triple wide jacket you had on there.

(Laughter.)

We’ll take a break and come back with Mike Huckabee when we come back.

(Applause.)

(Break taken.)

(Mike Huckabee is playing his guitar with the band.)

JAY LENO: Nice job.
Before I ask you about news, I want to ask you about the triple wide jacket. You lost quite a bit of weight. How much weight did you lose?

MIKE HUCKABEE: About 110 pounds.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: Congratulations on that. What was your secret?

MIKE HUCKABEE: The legislature kept eating my lunch every day.

(Laughter.)

No. My doctor sat me down. I faced a health crisis in 2003, and he basically told me if I didn’t make a lifestyle change, I was entering the last decade of my life. Then he described it. He said to me, “Here’s what’s going to happen.” And when he described it, that’s when I decided I needed a new exit strategy. So I really changed my lifestyle. I started eating differently, got rid of the fried foods and sugars. You know, I’ll tell you something, when you grow up in the South, everything is fried. I mean, you don’t eat anything unless you fry it.

JAY LENO: Fried water.

(Laughter.)

MIKE HUCKABEE: That’s right. You know, it’s very difficult to do that.
If you don’t fry it, you put sugar on it. It’s just the way we eat.
And between that and not exercising, which I did not do, it really caught up with me. I was in a health crisis. So my life was kind of representative of like a lot of people in this country that just don’t take care of themselves. We don’t have a healthcare crisis as much as we have a health crisis, and I was the epitome of it.

JAY LENO: So that’s terrific.
Now, you and Romney seems to have gotten into fisticuffs lately. What’s
going on here? You guys are neck and neck and seems to be getting

MIKE HUCKABEE: Oh, it’s politics. I mean, that’s what politics is about. I tell people that, if you can’t stand the sight of your own blood, don’t run for anything, just buy a ticket and watch it from the stands.

(Laughter.)

Because this is a full contact sport. No doubt about it.

JAY LENO: On Monday, you had a press conference. You were going to release an attack ad which seemed a little unusual for you. Why were you going to do that?

MIKE HUCKABEE: We had been hammered. We had been outspent 20 to 1 in
Iowa. 20 to 1. And that’s tough. And we had been hammered

JAY LENO: How much did you spend?

MIKE HUCKABEE: Oh, I think probably 3 to $400,000.

JAY LENO: And how much did Romney spend?

MIKE HUCKABEE: 8 or 9 million. So I mean, you know, it’s a substantial difference. We just kept getting hammered with negative television ads, negative radio ads, and mail pieces. And finally, decided “We had better answer this, or somebody is going to believe all this stuff.”

JAY LENO: So they work negative ads.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Well, they seemed to.
Then he started hammering John McCain over in New Hampshire. John McCain may be a rival of mine in the presidential race, but I have nothing but respect for him. He’s a great American hero. I think he’s a great American and a wonderful man, and a great guy

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: So you were going to do an ad.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Right. So we put together an ad and taped the tape, got it all ready. We were going to release it at a press conference, and Monday I just didn’t feel right. We had gotten where we are by being positive and talking about what this country needs to be rather than
what’s wrong with the other guys, and I just said

JAY LENO: As you were making it did you feel like

MIKE HUCKABEE: I needed to go take a shower or something like that or give Romney a shower maybe. I don’t know.

(Laughter.)

You know, at the time you think this is what we have to do. You don’t
like it, but you think it’s necessary, and at the end you just think

JAY LENO: So then you get a little conscience saying not to, but then why show it to the press at the press conference?

MIKE HUCKABEE: Well, they were very cynical about it, but the point is, if we hadn’t shown it, they would have said, “You didn’t have an ad.
You’re just bluffing us.” If I had really wanted to be disingenuous what I would have done is run the ad for three days and then said, “Oh, I have a conscience now. I think I’m going to pull it.”

JAY LENO: You did that very well. “Oh, I have a conscience.”

(Laughter.)

That was a real good political

MIKE HUCKABEE: I hope I have a conscience, which would be very unusual for politics to have a conscience.

JAY LENO: I know. Now, you have some interesting positions. I was not aware of this one until just this week when I started to research you a little bit. You want to dismantle the IRS. Everybody cheers that.

(Applause.)

Everybody loves that idea, but what is your alternative? You do away with the IRS, then what?

MIKE HUCKABEE: We would have a consumption tax rather than a tax on productivity.

JAY LENO: Value added?

MIKE HUCKABEE: It really wouldn’t be a V.A.T. It’s a simple like a sales tax at the point of retail sales. Let me tell you why that’s different. You, first of all, eliminate the underground economy. So
everybody is paying drug dealers, prostitutes, gamblers all those
people pay like the rest of us.

JAY LENO: There must be some legitimate work in there.

(Laughter.)

Boy, you really are in politics.

(Laughter.)

Now, what about a poor person goes and suddenly how much is this tax?
23, 24 percent?

MIKE HUCKABEE: It’s 23. But here’s the thing. Every person receives a “prebate” of the taxes that they would have on the level of the poverty, which means that what you really do with this fair tax, which is what it’s called, is you untax the poor. They don’t pay taxes, which means it’s really a progressive tax system. That’s why I love it because it would take the people least able to afford the taxes, and it virtually untaxes them.

Here’s what it also does. It frees people up to earn as much as they want. You don’t get taxed on income, savings, investments, capital gains, or debt.

I met a guy in New Hampshire. This is an interesting point. He’s working a second shift at a machine shop, trying try to help his daughter go through Cornell. She’s in grad school. $54,000 bucks a year to help her out. And he’s working a second shift. My first thing was, “Thank you, Lord. My daughter is not in grad school at Cornell because that’s a lot of money.” But then he tells me, “I’m now in a new tax bracket because I’m working a second shift, and the additional taxes I’m paying almost takes away what I’m getting on the second shift.”
What we’ve done is we’ve told him that, if he really, really works hard, we’re going to make it really hard for him to help his daughter. Here is how he can get his daughter some help: Quit both shifts, stop working, and he could then qualify for his daughter to have some federal assistance. That’s nutty.

We ought to have a system that encourages people to work, to think about the small business guy that sketches out the idea on his kitchen table.
He wants to go into business for himself, but his greatest competitor is not the guy across town or across the country. His greatest competitor is his own government that makes it real difficult for him to fill out the paperwork and pay the taxes.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: Now, quickly the Democrats also seem to be gaining in
Iowa. Let’s say you win. Who would you want to win on the Democratic ballot? Who would you want to run against?

MIKE HUCKABEE: I still want them all to drop out, and let me have a clear shot all the way to the White House.

(Laughter.)

JAY LENO: So you’re realistic about this.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Yeah, frankly, I think there’s some Democrats that I
think they’re all sincere. I think there’s a fundamental difference between us in terms of whether we think taxes ought to go up or down, whether government ought to be more or less involved. Look, I have respect for anybody that runs for president. I have a great respect for Barack Obama. I think he’s a person who is trying to do in many ways what I hope I’m trying to do and that is to say let’s quit what I call “horizontal politics.” Everything in this country is not left, right, liberal, conservative, Democrat, Republican. I think the country is looking for somebody who is vertical, who is thinking, “Let’s take America up and not down,” and people will forgive you for being left or right if you go up.

(Applause.)

JAY LENO: I know you’ve got to get back to Iowa.

MIKE HUCKABEE: I do.

JAY LENO: I love Iowa. Thank you, sir, Mike Huckabee.

Emeril Lagasse is next.

From 1997

Tomb Raider
(Eidos Interactive)
System: PC/PlayStation/Saturn

By Jeff Kitts

Gamers intrigued by the technological superiority of Super Mario 64, but who don’t care to maneuver a fat little plumber around a cute ‘n’ cuddly 3-D environment, may want to investigate Eidos Interactive’s Tomb Raider, currently available for the PC, PlayStation and Saturn. A brilliant Indiana Jones-style 3-D adventure game, Tomb Raider is mammoth in size and complicated enough to challenge even the most veteran gamer–yet provides enough action and animal killing to satisfy the bloodthirsty.

The central character in Tomb Raider is Lara Croft, a sexy British aristocrat with a taut, athletic body who prefers exploring ancient ruins and civilizations to hob-nobbing with England’s upper class. That’s where you come in. At the beginning of each stage, Lara is essentially trapped in a maze of stone hallways, staircases, rooms and underwater passageways, and it’s your job to help her find the exit. But this is no easy task: You must flip the right switches, solve puzzles, find the right keys and open locked doors, all while fending off the resident wild dogs, bats, bears, alligators and dinosaurs that roam the ruins in search of a warm female dinner (for this, Lara is armed with pistols, shotguns, magnums and uzis–and boy, can she shoot). Lara’s explorations will take her to Ancient Rome, Incan ruins, Egyptian Pyramids and the Lost City of Atlantis, among other decrepit civilizations.

Tomb Raider’s most impressive feature is clearly the animation of Ms. Croft. Whether she’s pulling herself up on a ledge, performing a mid-air somersault, pushing a giant concrete block across a room or diving below the water and going for a swim, Lara is as fluid and realistic as they come. But such complicated movements do pose a bit of a problem with regard to control, which is slightly imprecise; you’ll spend a lot of time bumping into walls, slipping off ledges and sending Lara to her death via poorly calculated chasm jumps before you fully get the hang of things.

Graphically, Tomb Raider is a first-rate effort, boasting beautifully detailed worlds made almost entirely out of gray and brown rock; the effect is realistic, not technicolor cheery. Complementing the cold stone look is a soundtrack that thrives on silence: make Lara run, you’ll hear only footsteps; make her shoot, you’ll hear only gunfire (and hopefully the final grunt of a fatally wounded creature). The minimal audio (broken only by the occasional musical sequence) greatly enhances the game’s sense of tension and suspense–trust me, when a bear lunges out from behind a rock in a dead-quiet room, you’ll jump.

Aside from the control, Tomb Raider’s only other significant shortcoming is the fact that once Lara dies, you’re forced to restart the level (unless you reached a rare save point, in which case you only have to go back to that marker). You could easily spend 30 minutes solving puzzles, finding keys and slaughtering animals when an accidental slip off a high ledge causes Lara to die, destroying all of your hard work in the process.

A few glitches aside, Tomb Raider is a superlative effort that offers tremendous long-term value and sophisticated gameplay–perfect for those who prefer a smart, sexy, gun-wielding heroine to a pudgy plumber who collects stars and talks to penguins.

Blast Magazine believes it is fairly using this article, which is believed to to be © Yahoo!, to illustrate a piece of video game history mentioned in one of its articles. The original article is not believed to be offered online at this time. This article is not subject to the Creative Commons license held by original Blast Magazine content.

From 1998

Myst is a classic adventure game created in 1994. The journey begins on a mysterious and somewhat magical island world that seems like a ghost town, but despite the lack of inhabitants the isle contains several buildings and a hidden ship in the harbor.

The game is a puzzle/adventure novel in which you have to solve different mysteries. Myst is completely made up of several Quick Time movies and was one of the first games to incorporate actual movies into a game.

I found the game, intriguing, yet desolate. There are almost no actual characters or enemies, and the puzzles take forever (or a hint guide) to solve. I also found the game play to be way to slow to keep up with today’s rapidly unfolding game plots. The adventure takes too long to become an adventure. This is rather unorthodox of a computer game, because most games start an adventure or action sequence early on in the game, and some games start the adventure in a hostile world with instant action, but this is one of the reason why Myst found a niche in the adventure realm.

Despite the age, Myst is still a classic adventure game, and there are more people that like Myst than there are critics. I recommend this game to the slow paced adventure fan. Myst has a lot to offer to the experienced gamer.

Quick hits:

Publisher: Broderbund
Developer: Cyan
Platform: Windows/Mac
Genre: Adventure
Price: Varies, often bundled with new PC’s

Performance: 4 out of 5 stars
User friendly: 4 out of 5 stars
Support: 3 out of 5 stars
Cost: 4 out of 5 stars
Ease of Installation: 4 out of 5 stars
Graphics: 5 out of 5 stars
Sound: 5 out of 5 stars

Ratings were determined in 1998

Here is the compete text of the Activision statement received by Blast December 14.

To Music Gaming Fans:

The recent announcement by MTV Games/Viacom’s Harmonix division that Activision is blocking Sony from releasing a patch and their plea to enable Rock Band software to work with Guitar Hero hardware paints a very misleading picture.

In fact, Harmonix and its parent company MTV Games/Viacom recently declined Activision’s offer to reach an agreement that would allow the use of Guitar Hero guitar controllers with Rock Band. We have been and remain open to discussions with Harmonix and MTV Games/Viacom about the use of our technology in Rock Band. Unfortunately for Rock Band users, in this case Harmonix and MTV Games/Viacom are unwilling to discuss an agreement with Activision.

Activision’s top priority is to provide consumers with a seamless marriage of best-in-class hardware and software. We are focusing our efforts on innovating hardware and software that are designed to work together, work flawlessly and provide an enjoyable gaming experience.

Best regards,

Activision