Kim Raver, left, will not return next season

Full Disclosure: I quit on “Grey’s Anatomy” a few episodes into Season 7. While the gunman at the conclusion of Season 6 offered hope that the show was getting back onto the right track, it didn’t capitalize, and I finally gave up on a show that I loved.

To be fair though, “Grey’s Anatomy” quit on me years before that. Season 4 to be exact. Not suggesting correlations here, just offering up facts–the moment that Addison and Burke left and Lexie waltzed in, this show starting getting really bad. Remember Izzie operating on a deer? Yeh. It was a shame–this was THE BEST SHOW on television for a solid 2 years (during that crappy Sopranos Season 6 Part 1 plus break period); it was far better than 24 in 2006, and should have won Outstanding Drama instead of Jack Bauer’s really long day.

But since then, the show has had intermittent ups, with lots of downs. Season 4 closed out strong, and season five was a monumental back and forth, aided by Izzie’s cancer turn, Derek’s mom and the serial killer arc. Season 6 was mostly a mess, with the typically lovable Kim Raver offering nothing, and Arizona and Owen existing as purely dead weight, there for romantic intrigue of more interesting characters.

All of this said, I’m a thoroughly read guy, so I’ve been catching the highlights since I bailed on the show, and in recent weeks, I’d been turned onto Shonda Rhimes warning of a major shift ahead. She even tweeted yesterday, warning viewers it would not be a good night.

And she was right. It was a disturbing, maddeningly sad episode, that featured many unsightly surgical shots and some slit-your-wrists moments. But in many ways, it was a return to form for the uneven once-great soap.

Lexie’s death was not surprising, in that it had been predicted by many sites leading up to the episode. But boy was it shocking, whacking a character with the title in her last name. And what a number this one will do on the rest of the characters next season no?

Giving Teddy the boot was also startling, ending yet another cardio run that was less than favorable. While it opens Christina to take the position, giving the revolving door that one has been, I’m not sure she should want the job.

Which brings us back to the core group–mainly Derek, Meredeith, and Christina, out there trying not to die from their latest malady–a friggin plane crash! Christina, in a vintage performance by Sandra Oh, even lamented the constant misfortune that befalls her erstwhile family at Seattle-Grace-Mercy-Death.

And Meredith. Just when it seemed her life was getting cushy and dark twisty Meredith was gone, bam, it’s time for a reprise.

There were more shockers–it was a “Grey’s Anatomy” season finale afterall–but for me, I’m more concerned with what it means.

Lexie’s emergence coincided with the shows fall from grace (again, not suggesting correlation), and Teddy has been an awful presence on the show for years now. And with both of them exiting and the residents moving into legit surgeon status, it leaves me wondering if the show has the wherewithal within to return to prominence for what is likely to be two final seasons (the main cast signed two year deals, which would bring it to a nice, round, ten seasons).

Beyond that, Private Practice is looking to end its run next season, and there’s hope that Addison could return to the mothership for a final season.

So, believe it or not–through last night’s death and mayhem, is it possible that “Grey’s” has turned the corner of a very painful middle chapter in its history, and could be staring down a graceful final run, befitting the greatness of its early years?

Who knows. Time will tell–and I think I’ll be watching.

REVERE — Comedy came instinctively to Jennifer Zigrino when she was a kid.

“I was the overweight chubby girl. My only defense was to make people laugh,” she said. “People tend not to pick on you if you can make them laugh.”

The now 25-year-old recently won a Community Auditions comedy competition and a chance to perform at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York.

“It’s great. I’m really excited about it,” she said about her win.

Zigrino started performing comedy when she was a teenager and started to take it seriously when she was in her early 20s.

“I always like making people laugh so it was sort of a natural progression for me,” she said.

She took a comedy class when she was a teenager and her first performance was the at the completion of the class and her teacher made her the headliner.

“I guess my teacher really liked me,” she said modestly.

Her first performance was certainly a memorable one.

“It went great. However, my dad’s friend’s wife got really drunk and started heckling everyone else. She eventually got kicked out,” she joked.

The young comedian described her comedy as “observational story telling.”

“I tell stories about my life and the funny things that happen to me,” she said.

While a date hasn’t been set yet for her Gotham Comedy Club debut, she is still excited about the opportunity.

“It’s a great comedy. There have been so many famous people that have performed there,” she said.

She also feels this is the right step for her comedy career.

“I think this is the right direction for breaking into New York. All you need is for one person to see you and everything can change,” she said.

Zigrino would eventually like to move to Los Angeles and be doing sketch comedy as well as starring in some independent films.

“Saturday Night Live is the ultimate dream,” she said.

When she is not performing, she works as Boston Freedom Trail tour guide and sells her own line of jewelry.

“I do a little bit of everything,” she said.

Zigrino moved to Revere after her parents divorce and credits the city for being an inspiration.

“Revere gives me endless material,” she joked.

Donna Summer, known by many as the “Queen of Disco,” died this morning following a battle with cancer, TMZ reports. She was 63.

The 5-time Grammy winner was best known for her ‘70s and ‘80s hits “She Works Hard for the Money”, “Last Dance,” and “Hot Stuff,” among others. Her work with producer Giorgio Moroder helped shape the dance music of the era and proved influential on many artists, electronic and otherwise, who came after her.

She was reportedly working on a new album at the time of her death.

This is a developing story, and details remain unconfirmed by those close to the singer.

The following is our list of the Top 20 episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” as of the end of the seventh
season. The list is chronological by season, starting with the first. Enjoy!

1.  Season 1, Episode 3:  Sweet Taste of Liberty

Ted: "Fine, we'll go lick the Liberty Bell"

Summary:

Barney convinces Ted that he needs to break his normal routine of going to the same bar
every night. He takes Ted to JFK to pick up girls, using a fake story about being businessmen
returning from a trip to Japan. They eventually end up in Philadelphia, where Barney persuades
a reluctant Ted to lick the Liberty Bell.

Why it Made the List:

“Sweet Taste of Liberty” really sets up how crazy Barney is, how he has the ability to pull Ted
into his misadventures, and to what lengths Barney is willing to go to in order to get laid. The
episode explores the Ted / Barney relationship and helps explain why Ted keeps Barney around,
despite his various flaws.

2.  Season 1, Episode 14:  Zip, zip, zip

Robin teams up with Barney for some laser tag

Summary:

Ted and Victoria are hitting their stride as a couple. After initially waiting, Ted and Victoria
pick a night to have sex before she leaves town for awhile. They go to Ted’s apartment, which
is supposed to be empty, and get busy. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Ted, Lily and Marshall
bailed on their nine-month anniversary trip plans and stayed home instead. They hide in the
bathroom to avoid being found out, and must stay there while Ted and Victoria get hot-and-
heavy in the living room.

Meanwhile, Robin decides to be Barney’s “bro” for the night, joining him for a cigar and a drink
at a bar (suited up, nonetheless), and for a game of laser tag later on. When they head back to
Robin’s apartment, Barney mistakes Robin’s excitement for playing the board game “Battleship”
for a sexual euphemism and starts getting undressed. In the awkwardness that ensues, Robin
admits to Barney that she has feelings for Ted.

Why it Made the List:

“Zip, zip, zip” packed a whole lot of important material into one episode. First, we get to see
how great Robin and Barney are together (setting up their future relationship). Then, Robin
reveals that she actually does have feelings for Ted, which is sure to complicate his recently
blossoming relationship with Victoria. Plus, Lily and Marshall wrestle with the problem of
being out of “firsts” in their relationship – certainly something that every long-term couple can
relate to. Lily and Marshall being locked in the bathroom leads to some great comedy, as does
Robin being Barney’s “bro”. This one is an all-around solid episode.

3. Season 1, Episode 15: Game Night

Barney gets an origin story episode, and not all of it is pretty...

Summary:

The gang gets together for game night, in which Marshall introduces a new game that he created – Marshgammon. Marshall uses the game to find out more about Victoria, who Ted brought along. Lily reveals that someone gave her a tape to give to Barney, who tries to destroy it upon finding out who it’s from. Despite Barney’s protests, the group watches the tape, which reveals a long-haired, hippy-looking Barney crying into the camera.

Later, at MacLaren’s, Barney tells the sad tale behind the videotape, but only in sections as each friend reveals their most embarrassing stories. We find out that Barney became the playboy he is today because of a failed relationship with a girl named Shannon, who left him for a suited alpha-male named Greg. Also, just recently Barney reunited with Sharon, who is now raising Greg’s kid on her own. In an ending fit for Barney’s character, he gets closure on the whole tragic storyline by having sex with Shannon.

Why it Made the List:

“Game Night” was the episode that really turned Barney into a dynamic character. Up to this point, he’d been a monotonous player who only had one agenda – to get laid as much as possible. But here we find out that there is actually a reason for the way he is, and that he wasn’t always how he is now. Seeing the way that Barney was with Shannon gives us hope that someday he may be able to ditch his womanizing ways and settle down with the right girl.

Another reason “Game Night” made the list: Marshgammon. Marshall’s complex creation has the entire group confused, and to make matters worse, one of the rules is that a player has to drink if they ask, “What?” Hilarious.

4. Season 2, Episode 9: Slap Bet

Barney reacts to being slapped across the face by Marshall

Summary:

When Robin makes it clear that she does not want to go to the mall, the rest of the gang try to figure out why. Marshall hypothesizes that she was married at a Mall in Canada, and Barney suggests that Robin did pornography in Canada. They agree to a Slap Bet, in which the winner of the bet gets to slap the loser, and appoint Lily as Slap Bet Commissioner.

Eventually, Robin admits that she did get married in a mall, so Marshall slaps Barney. But it is later revealed that Robin lied, so Lily awards Barney 3 slaps on Marshall (for being prematurely slapped). Barney gets a hold of a video of Robin who appears under the alias of Robin Sparkles. He plays the first few minutes of the video, which seems to suggest that it is a porno. Barney pauses the video before anything risqué can happen and slaps Marshall for having won the bet. But Robin continues playing the video, and it turns out that it is not porn but in fact an embarrassing music video. Due to Barney’s erroneous slap on Marshall, Lily gives him two choices: to be slapped 10 times in a row right now, or to be slapped 5 times from now until eternity at whatever time Marshall chooses. Barney chooses the latter, setting up the long-running Slap Bet joke for future episodes to come (in which it is wonderfully revisited).

Why it Made the List:

“Slap Bet” is easily one of HIMYM’s greatest episodes. The Slap Bet ends up being a long-running joke that they excellently revisit in future episodes with phenomenal timing. This episode gave birth to “Slapsgiving”, the Slap Countdown, Marshall’s “You Just Got Slapped” song, and many other well-placed slaps randomly scattered through the following seasons.

“Slap Bet” also introduced us to another HIMYM classic: Robin Sparkles, and her hit song, “Let’s Go to the Mall”. The show revisits the Robin Sparkles joke a number of times, most notably for her follow-up song, “Sandcastles in the Sand,” which appears in the Season 3 episode of the same name. “Let’s Go to the Mall” was so popular with the show’s viewers that it actually made it onto the real-life videogame “Just Dance 3”. Two classic HIMYM jokes in one episode means it has to make the Top 20 list.

5. Season 2, Episode 21: Something Borrowed

Barney finally weds Marshall and Lily after a long day of wedding disasters

Summary:

On Lily and Marshall’s wedding day, a number of unfortunate events occur that ruin any chance of having the perfect wedding. Lily’s problems include her ex-boyfriend, Scooter, showing up to the wedding (her family invited him), her veil being ruined, the flowers not showing up, and the harp player going into labor. Marshall’s mishaps include accidently getting his hair bleached (the tips) and then shaving off a long strip of his hair in a sudden panic.

Marshall and Lily are ready to call off the wedding, but Ted saves the day by suggesting they have the small ceremony they always wanted outside, away from all of their guests. Barney was recently licensed to marry people, so under a tree outside, Barney weds Lily and Marshall in front of just two people – Ted and Robin. The wedding reception at the very end of the episode carries into the season 2 finale, “Something Blue.”

Why it Made the List:

“Something Borrowed” marked the marriage of a legendary couple, one of the greatest TV has ever seen. I also liked that the episode redefined a “perfect wedding” to be a simple ceremony in front of best friends, minus all the commotion of the big event in front of the whole family.

“Something Borrowed” also established Ted’s leadership role, and how at the worst of times he has the ability to pick up the rest of the group and right the ship, which is seen in future episodes. All-in-all, this was just a feel-good episode that focused on Lily and Marshall and temporarily put aside the relationship drama of the other group members.

Since 1983, the Boston radio station marketed as “true alternative” has rocked the airwaves, but for the last few years it really hasn’t been the alternative to anything — it’s been the only game in town.

And now it’s gone.

Phoenix Media has sold 101.7 FM, the home of WFNX, to radio conglomerate Clear Channel.

Not the station, the frequency.

Phoenix Media, in a statement Wednesday, said the company will retain “the call letters, the archives, interviews, videos, etc.,” meaning that soon, the radio station 101.7 WFNX will cease to exist, and may only live on as an Internet or HD radio station.

The Phoenix, reporting on its own company, says that Clear Channel may have plans to turn 101.7 into either a country or a Spanish language station.

Bolstering that argument, the Boston Business Journal is reporting that longtime radio personalities Julie Kramer and Henry Santoro were laid off today.

The move will leave Boston without an alternative radio station and with only one option for FM rock music. WAAF (97.7 and 107.3) attracts a “harder” audience and does not share much of an audience with the indie-heavy FNX crowd.

Blast interviewed Santoro in 2009 in a lengthy a profile of the Sandbox morning show, which shut down just four months later.

Boston.com reported Wednesday afternoon that 15 other WFNX employees were laid off. The station, which started the week with 21 employees — 9 full-time and 12 part-time — is left with three full-timers and one part time employee, Boston.com reports, citing Boston Phoenix editor Peter Kadzis.

WFNX has struggled in ratings for years, even after longtime rock competitor WBCN went off the air when CBS Radio launched its 98.5 The Sports Hub sports talk channel and moved a top 40 station to WBCN’s 104.1 dial position.

“Because this is an emotional announcement to make, let me cut right to the chase. This morning I met with the staff of WFNX to announce the pending sale of the station to Clear Channel Communications,” Phoenix Media founder Stephen M. Mindich wrote in a memo to staff. “It was a great run and I will miss the station.”

Mindich cited the economic downturn as a contributing factor in the sale.

“Despite its celebrated history, its cutting edge programming, its tradition of breaking new music, its ardent fans among listeners and advertisers, for some time it has been difficult to sustain the station – especially since the start of the Great Recession,” he wrote.

WFNX will remain on the air during the time it takes to complete the FCC transfer process.

Mindich said that events and concerts like the Best Music Poll (June 13) and the Seaport Six (June 14) will go on as scheduled.

The Dictator arrives at the Carlton Hotel during the 65th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 16 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images)

The Boston public had a rare chance to support the great Republic of Wadiya yesterday, as AMC Boston Common Theater hosted a paid sneak preview of film “The Dictator.”

Paramount Pictures credited the preview to an “uncharacteristic stroke of generosity” by the film’s title character, General Aladeen of the Republic of Wadiya (played in the movie by Sacha Baron Cohen). The General’s “Virgin Guards” were on hand to greet supporters and offer complimentary snacks, t-shirts, posters and photos.

The film, which opens today, centers on Aladeen’s trip to America to ensure that his country can remain “lovingly oppressed” and free of democracy. Cohen’s character has made several public appearances in preparation for the film’s release, including on the 2012 Academy Awards red carpet when he accidentally spilled the ashes of deceased North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il on Ryan Seacrest.

Former lead anchor for San Diego’s Channel 4 –  and all-around “big deal”  - Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) demanded that his legion of fans stop what they were doing yesterday and listen to his latest announcement: starting today, the first look at the long-awaited sequel to 2004′s Anchorman, Anchorman 2, will debut in the form of a teaser trailer.  The trailer will air before the latest Sascha Baron Cohen flick The Dictator.

Burgundy took to Twitter to drop the bombshell, in his own inimitable way. “Don’t know what a teaser is,” he wrote. “World is crazy? Having a scotch.”

News of the sequel officially broke when Burgundy made an appearance on “Conan” in late March and announced that Paramount had given the project the green light.

This is the first real look at the film, the plot of which has only been teased by writer and producer Adam McKay: “Keep in mind we’re still writing the story, but I’ll say one phrase for you: custody battle,” he told Salon.com in April.

(SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FINALE)

Last night’s hour-long season finale of “How I Met Your Mother” featured a birth, an engagement, and the shocking-reveal of a future wedding between Barney and (gasp!) Robin. After seven seasons, HIMYM writers just can’t seem to move on from the Barney-Robin-Ted love triangle, and boy am I tired of it. The finale wasn’t a total bust though, with Lily finally giving birth to Marvin WaitForIt Eriksen and Ted driving off into the sunset with Victoria (wedding dress and all). In fact, I’d say that the episode as a whole was rather satisfying except for that last 10 seconds, which left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Everything seemed to be going so well as the episode began. Lily was finally having her baby after what felt like an eternity of pregnancy, and Marshall was able to bound into the delivery room just in the nick of time. After Marvin was born, Robin and Ted talk in the waiting room and have a long-awaited talk that patches up their fractured friendship. Not only do they set things straight, but Robin encourages Ted to chase after Victoria (yes Ted, please do!). After Ted’s out-of-the-blue phone call to Victoria, she agrees to meet him at MacLaren’s. When they meet up, Victoria is in a wedding dress and explains to Ted that she’s about to get married. Ted’s got a tough decision to make, but in the end he chooses Victoria.

Meanwhile, things with Barney and Quinn are getting better too. After the trip to Atlantic City, Barney returns home to find that Quinn hasn’t left him as he feared. They take a vacation together, and in the airport Barney (rather extravagantly) pops the question. Quinn says yes, and it seems that Barney’s playboy days may have finally come to a close. And this is where I wish the episode had ended, but…

Barney and Quinn go to Lily and Marshall’s apartment to tell them the good news. As Lily, Quinn and Marshall head into the baby’s room to change his diaper, Robin and Barney are left alone. Robin looks like she’s about to cry even though she claims she’s happy for Barney and Quinn. Oh no, not this again, pleeease don’t fall back on the Robin/Barney/Ted triangle again, please! But of course, in the closing moments of the finale, we flash ahead to the wedding and who is it marrying Barney? Robin, not Quinn.

After seven seasons of Robin bouncing back and forth between Ted and Barney, and a number of fake-outs and almost getting back together with them, I am so utterly tired of the love triangle between the three of them. I’ve lost count of how many times Ted has declared his love for Robin, then regretted it, then they almost get back together, then they have sex once but it’s a huge mistake, and so on and so forth. The same goes for Barney and Robin. I’m tired of Ted and Barney finding great girls that aren’t Robin, and then ultimately losing them because they still have feelings for Robin. Enough already! Can’t we all just move on? I’m tired of being led on by the HIMYM writers to believe that Barney or Ted finally found a great non-Robin match for themselves (or Robin a suitable non-Ted / non-Barney), only for the chick to get ditched five episodes later for – who else? – one Robin Scherbatsky.

Victoria is awesome, one of Ted’s best girlfriends throughout the series, so let’s hope to God that she sticks this time. I’m worried that once we get to that wedding scene of Barney marrying Robin, there’s still a chance that Robin will defect back to Ted and screw up a great relationship he was with Victoria or some other flavor-of-the-season. And I’m not looking forward to watching Quinn and Barney’s engagement crash and burn – I liked Quinn, she had a lot of spunk and didn’t take Barney’s crap. Still, I would have been okay with the “twist” ending of Barney’s bride not being Quinn if it had been Nora instead of Robin. Nora and Barney always had great chemistry, and the ending still would have been “shocking” without reverting back to the Robin problem.

Who knows what next season has in store for us, but here’s to hoping that Ted and Victoria actually work out and that the Barney / Quinn demise is quick and painless. I hope we get to that Robin / Barney wedding as soon as possible (maybe midway through the season) and that it goes over without any issues. Because sooner rather than later, HIMYM is going to be ending it’s run, and is it too much to ask that the characters enjoy a season without breakups and heart-break?

Emma (Jennifer Morrsion) hopes Henry (Jared Gilmore) recovers after her lack of faith leads to his hospitalization.

“It’s not the destination, it’s the journey,” or some variation of that cliche was drilled into me as a kid so that I would develop patience, and not be so results-oriented: “I want this, I want that,” and the like. And it’s useful, because when you embrace that value you’re less likely to be disappointed. Sure, if you invest mightily in a project you want to see it succeed, but if the process was rewarding in itself, then you won’t walk away like you’ve wasted your efforts.

As a viewer of “Once Upon A Time,” I cannot speak for all, but in my enjoyment of the breakneck speed conclusion, I wondered if the journey that led me to this satisfying destination was tainting it. Almost as if I had such a traumatic flight en route to a luxury resort on a tropical island that it soured me on the whole paradise thing. While I’m sure I could find a way to enjoy soaking up some rays and bathing in pristine waters, this finale wasn’t so mind-blowing that I’d forgotten how pissed I was on the way over. Last week, I talked about being that proverbial kid who always need to pee in the back seat, whining incessantly, “Are we there yet?” Now, I feel like the spoiled kid who got the Christmas present he wanted, but upon receiving it doesn’t want it as badly, Because I waited so long for it lost its allure. I saw the commercials every day after school and the desire for it became pathological. When Mom said I would get it for Christmas, I danced around for what seemed like forever and passed the time imagining what it would be like to call it my own. Then the day came and I wanted something else more.

That feeling of getting almost exactly what you wanted, but not being as thrilled with it as you’d imagined you would was my overwhelming emotion watching the conclusion to OUAT’s first season. The isolated fairybacks, whose relevance eluded us got connections that were more than tenuous at best, magic got context and concrete boundaries instead of fluid, willy-nilly usage and the emotional toll on the characters was palpable. Withholding these methods of engagement doesn’t seem fruitful to me, especially when you need to convince your viewers that 22 episodes are a worthy investment. I understand the storytelling advantages inherent in character by character flashbacks, but for me the real world arc was dragging its heels so that its development would sync up that of the Fairy Tale Land. But Storybrooke is the aftermath, the fallout from these FTL events. Being beholden to those fairybacks serves no narrative purpose.

The “Lost” formula was successful for a reason, but the application of it was sloppy. Yes, an episode of “Lost” would focus primarily on one character through flashbacks and they would become more fleshed out in the current timeline as a result, but the world didn’t stop so that we could get to know them. For example, in the Grumpy episode, what did we glean from having Grumpy crush on a nun and sell candles? Yeah, nothing. That contributed zero to the direction of the arc. And while the relevance of certain threads like The Mad Hatter’s and Belle’s were given heft in the finale, many other detours remained a distraction, the part of the magician’s trick where they subtly get you to draw your focus away so that you’ll miss the manipulation. Shoehorning a “see wasn’t that worth it, kids?” into one pretty thrilling day trip, does not make this television show a worthwhile “vacation.” To me, it’s a case of lazy parents who are putting off presents until the holiday so they don’t have to deal with it now. And they hope that by making it special, the excruciating wait will be forgotten. Sorry, I remember the bumpy ride to Disneyworld or the painfully drawn out months that preceded the most wonderful time of the year.

Let’s get down to logistics. there was a lot to be delighted about. And while promises are not always kept on this show, we end on a note that would suggest OUAT won’t just be meandering in The Infinite Forest in its follow-up season. In the FTL, we begin where we left off, with Snow White poisoned and Charming trapped. While being escorted to his execution, Charming busts out his apparent military training as he totally owns the Evil Queen’s guards. However, as he turns down the hall a guard points his bow and arrow at him, and another guard boxes him in. Awaiting an arrow in the chest, the guard fires and hits his own man instead. Why did the guard help him? Well, because that guard is the Huntsman a.k.a Sheriff Graham. I got nervous they were bringing him back from the dead as some ploy, but then I remembered that in FTL you have the luxury of living after your heart is ripped out of you and crushed in someone’s hands.

Emma rushes Henry to the hospital and Dr. Whale asks her how this happened. She now does believe in Henry so she screams that he ate a poisoned apple turnover! Emma’s insistence was kind of hilarious, because for once she gets to feel how ridiculous it is to explain this to a non-believer. As the kid goes comatose, she touches his book and she’s flooded with memories of the FTL. It feels cheap. I understand that belief is powerful, and the point is that her son being in immortal danger is and should be a galvanizing force, but seeing “magic” as a catalyst again brings out the groans in me. Regina flurries in and Emma goes ape. She shoves Regina in a supply closet and throws her around. Well, it’s about damn time! I know it makes sense that Emma would only get some fight in her now that she believes, but Regina could have used some roughing up a while ago. Regina admits that it’s all true and that it was poisoned to make Emma fall asleep. The brief moment where we see Regina’s desperation to keep her son is touching, but most emotional moments are breezed through and not given time to ferment because, as I said, the answers are shoehorned in and it’s a mad dash to revelations. Regina says they must consult the only other person in Storybrooke who knows magic. Emma guesses Gold, but then Regina delivers the laugher line: “Actually, he goes by Rumpelstiltskin.”

Lost in the forest, Charming bumps into Rumpy who enchants his mother’s ring to help find Snow. On one condition. He must insert a potion, carefully encased in a golden egg, into “the belly of the beast…for a rainy day” (hehe). The potion, of course, is that true love potion I was excited about. Eeerily enough, the potion was made from strands of Charming and Snow’s hair. We also get a gem of a line about what Rumpelstiltskin knows of true love (obviously referring to Belle): “It was a brief flicker of light amidst a notion of darkness. Badass.

Continuing with the overt parallelism, in the following real world scene, Gold tells Emma about the nature of the curse, and the reason why she is the anointed savior, the safety valve. He put one drop of true love’s potion onto the parchment of the curse, meaning that she, the product of true love, is the one glimmer of hope in all that misery. See, that’s cool. I like that. As I’ve mentioned, I’m a sucker for true love, but it also follows through on what I have been asking for, some guidelines for how magic can be used, instead of being deployed when it’s convenient. We get the punchline too for the “rainy day” joke when Emma replies, “Well it’s stormy as a bitch, where is it?” Gold smiles with that Rumpy, mischievous grin and gives Emma her father’s sword.

We get another Spark Notes version of emotion when both Regina and Emma say their potential goodbyes to Henry. There’s some good acting, they just aren’t afforded time to linger with the severity of the situation. Like when Regina’s goodbye is abruptly cut off by Jefferson creeping in the shadows, waiting for his deal to be honored where he doesn’t remember his old life. But their deal is null and void since Emma is still awake. Jefferson doesn’t take this loophole well and seems to have the face of a schemer.

Emma stalls a bit to visit August with an obligatory, “You were right!” He can’t open the door though because at this point, he’s mostly wood (giggity) and as his face, the last remnant of humanity turns, he tells Emma that he has the faith she can save them all. Emma then meets Regina at the post office where she has a secret lair (surprise, surprise) with an elevator that will take her to Maleficent. We all know it’s gonna be a dragon, but they’re coy about it like it will be some big reveal. But anyone with a working knowledge of fairy tales knew that was coming, right? Anyway, Emma assures her majesty that the only reason she’s not dead is she needs her help. But if Henry dies, she does too. See, Emma with some bite is awesome, more please!

Our double duty dragon battles ensue, with father and daughter trying to accomplish opposite goals. While the CGI dragon was impressive, it was depressing to see how horrible the green screen scenery was. All the effort put in to those sword fights and gorgeous fire-breathers, and it’s downplayed by a really artificial looking castle. At any rate, having both battles at the same time felt like overkill, like I was in an anteroom waiting for the real action to start, but it looked damn good. And we get a couple standout moments from Emma’s bout: she pulls out her gun because she is clumsy with a sword; and she chucks the sword at the dragon as the prince did in the Disney film.

Charming finds Snow with his GPS ring and then asks for her hand. It was a nice touch for Goodwin to say, “What do you think?” playing off the knowledge that we obviously knew where this was headed. Egg in hand, Emma gets stalled in the elevator and screams up to Regina only for Gold to answer. He says to throw up the egg before she climbs up. Boneheaded move. Once up there, she sees that Gold gagged Regina, and that upon catching the egg, Gold ran off. It’s then when Regina and Emma both receive messages. Henry’s dead. Now, fair warning. This is horrible. But did anyone else HOPE he stayed dead. I’m not a proponent of child murder per say, BUT man would that add some urgency or what, huh? I’m sorry. I’m a terrible person and should be ashamed. I will let the record show though, that losing Jared Gilmore as a child actor would not be the worst thing. There’s a reason he didn’t stick around on “Mad Men.”

While Henry was going into cardiac arrest, Jefferson uses the chaos to slip downstairs to the mental institution wing. As revenge against Regina, he frees Belle and tells her to go seek out Mr. Gold and tell him that Regina locked her up. Why he couldn’t escort her, I don’t know. Late for tea, maybe? Yeah, I suck. So, when Gold opens the egg at his shop and Belle strolls in, he’s astonished. If there was one sentiment that sang in this episode it was that reunion. Emile de Ravin and Robert Carlyle killed it. Even if we got only one episode of them together, I thought their reuniting was more triumphant than even Snow and Charming’s, and we follow them along their treacherous journey all season.

As Emma stares shocked at Henry’s lifeless body, we can hear her exasperated breaths. She’s torn up, knowing that her lack of faith, not necessarily in fairy tales but in her son, was to blame is a heavy burden. But she pours her love into an “I love you,” and a kiss on his forehead and true love’s kiss radiates throughout Storybrooke, jolting Henry awake and reigniting the memories in all the former fairy tale characters’ heads. Again, seeing Belle remember how she loved Rumpy beats out even David turning around from leaving Storybrooke to hold Mary/Snow in his arms again. On the opposite end of the spectrum, everyone also remembers how they hate Regina, and while she would love to stay and be grateful Henry’s alive, she ducks out ready for a mob and cries into Henry’s pillow instead. That sounds a bit stalkerish though when you say it out loud, doesn’t it? Hm.

Despite having love reintroduced into his life, Rumpy hasn’t abandoned his lust for power. He leads Belle to the magical well we were introduced to in “What Happened to Frederick.” This was the well with water that can bring back what you’ve lost. Now we also have the nugget in our minds that Rumpelstiltskin told the prince he’s invested in true love, especially the powerful concoction Charming and Snow have, because of what its magic creates. With that veiled threat in my mind we see Rumpy pour the contents of true love’s vial into the well and a billowy, purple smoke blasts through town. I was intrigued that Henry knew it was bad right away. I mean, as we know from “Lost,” smoke of any color is bad, but considering that the return of magic was what the kid wanted, it’s curious how the idea of magic in the real world is so frightening. As Rumpy manically informs his new/old beauty, “Magic is power,” but couldn’t that power be acquired by the good guys? I suppose it’s interesting too because the other Sunday show I review, “Game of Thrones,” is also dealing with the perils of magic in its second season, so maybe this is an admirable direction for reinvigorating this series.

Regardless, the realization of their past while remaining in the real world is almost exactly what I was calling for. I didn’t want this to be adventure time in FTL, and I’m glad Kitsis/Horowitz got the memo. Now that the characters know, there’s more opportunity to seize their own destiny instead of being servile prisoners of the EQ. And the devilish grin upon her face when the smoke tumbled through suggested to me that Henry’s dalliance with death hasn’t softened her. I’ve already addressed my quibbles ad nauseum, but now props must go out to the writers for lurching ahead with this runaway train instead of trying desperately to slow it down. It’s reassuring to know—although still infuriating to a degree that it wasn’t apparent earlier— that there was a finite plan and trajectory.

The callbacks were pleasant, and at points even fun and sweet. Because we wandered aimlessly so much, I didn’t realize how much I cared about Belle, but on a practical level to have less space and time wasted was refreshing. Still, there needs to be a concerted effort to pace the season just like this episode. Obviously, don’t show your hand, but making us aware of what’s important wouldn’t hurt. It’s not a spoiler to say, for example, that Emma is the drop of true love Rumpy put into the curse as a safety valve. That’s more informative than just “she’s the savior.” In a fantasy world, we need structure and rules just as necessarily as we do in the real world. Because like our fairy tale counterparts in Storybrooke, we’re only human, so let’s respect that and not pretend we’re don’t need things like love to stay alive.

"A Man Without Honor," Jamie Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) uses his charm to savagely escape Robb Stark.

One of the major strengths of “Game of Thrones” in its first season that has carried over to this season has been its unpredictability. (SPOILERS FROM PRIOR EPISODES) The arguable main character was decapitated last season, a man was killed via a molten gold crown, and this season a woman birthed a shadow baby that assassinated its uncle. Needless to say, there are no rules in Westeros, save Arya’s decree: any man can be killed.

And while those moments of shock and awe are compelling as hell, even the outbreak of a world war has its downtime. Before the crucial battles commence, there’s a lot of nitty-gritty details that need to be ironed out. And while that reeks of tediousness for even the most impassioned viewer, tonight was a night where cruelty was at nearly everyone’s doorstep. If there is a God in the GoT universe, his will has descended upon them. The sins of these power seekers will be repaid. Whether these sins are stripping land from its rightful owners, having incestuous relations, or perhaps just messing with the wrong warlock, enemies are lurking in the shadows ready to right those wrongs by correcting the imbalance they created.

The story lover and the storyteller in me says that the reason why this episode felt so rich and gripping was because it told the far more intriguing tale. Everyone remembers the destruction that men inflict upon each other and themselves, but the fascinating events that precede them are so alive with probability. Why do bad things happen? Is it a matter of blame, of accident, of greed, of naivete? The ominous future is always ahead of them, and those who fear it are plenty. But those who seem prepared for its reckoning, who have committed themselves to understanding chaos (a paradox, but bear with me) may be the most fit to survive. Dark days breed dark nights, as well as dark knights. Batman, anyone? The question becomes, can anyone keep their soul intact while they do what’s necessary? Even the villains seem pitifully inept at keeping their heads about them, feeling insecure in their sacrifices and atrocities. And the morally incorruptible are realizing that if if extenuating circumstances do exist, these might be them.

Winterfell

Bookending this epic installment of ruined plans, we begin in the North where Theon, the world’s sloppiest conqueror, beats the living sh*t out of the guard responsible for allowing Bran and Rickon to escape. We check in on the lads and Osha and huggable Hodor to see they’re spritely, just a bit starving. Maester Luwin is horrified because Theon’s deperation to be taken seriously may lead to Joffrey-esque behavior. He employs a scorched-earth policy to apprehending the boys and he looks a bit batty when he smiles eerily at the Maester and says, “Don’t look so grim…It’s all just a game.” Beside being perhaps a little obvious for a show called “Game of Thrones,” it’s sufficiently creepy to see a boy who wanted to belong transform into an off-his-rocker and incompetent tyrant.

In the end, Theon returns to unveil two charred corpses. Though our instinct is to worry that Bran and Rickon are those unrecognizable bodies, TV tropes tell us that unidentifiable dead are rarely who we think they are. All indications are that the crispy boys are the sons of the farmer that the hounds followed the scent to, the one Theon kicks like the coward he is. While it is entirely possible that Bran and Rickon were offed, and while I gasped like I’d lost a friend, my better judgement tells me there’s nothing to fear. Well, except that Theon has moved over to the dark side. Whoops.

Beyond the Wall

In the barren cold, Ygritte remains the sassy and alluring wildling I loved last week. Her ribbing of Jon Snow is so riveting and I like him a lot. She comments when they wake that his knife is poking her backside and when he leaps up in embarrassment she guesses correctly that he’s never been with a woman before. She teases some more with a variation of “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” but then the conversation gets real. Ygritte stops with the insects and asks seriously why he would choose to never get naked with a woman so that he could invade someone’s land. Snow goes on the defensive saying that the Starks were among the first men and share blood with wildlings. Then Ygrite wonders aloud why he would want to fight them. While Jon Snow is honor personified, and his sacrifice is admirable, he does carry an air of self-righteousness that I could see would frustrate a “savage.”

This perspective echoed for me the true story of how the Europeans occupied Native-American lands on the principle that they were more advanced and it was God’s will. This mirrors when Ygritte rants about how wildlings may not have stone castles or be so skilled at making steel, but that does not make those like Jon on the other side of The Wall better. Truthfully, the wildlings are more free. If someone told Ygritte she couldn’t lie with a man she’d shove a spear up his ass. Brutish, sure, but that’s freedom. She advocates further for democracy over monarchy and says they don’t serve sh*t kings because of who their father was, they choose their rulers like Mance Rayder. Now we know as modern folks how the democratic process is flawed too, but this nugget of historical fiction and reflection upon our medieval beginnings as an unexpected, but welcome layer for the show to unfold.

Apart from philosophical treatise though, we get Ygritte acting out how she imagines it will go when Jon Snow hands her over to his boss and she relays her fake story of how he “ruined her” (there goes that word again!). It’s fantastic, that sick sense of sexual humor I love in a woman. Then she seduces him, describing her lady parts all tantalizingly, then she gives the rope a swift kick and runs off, leading him into an ambush of her people.

Harrenhal

One of my favorite “calm before the storm” scenes occurs here. Maisie Williams and Charles Dance face off again as their respective characters, Arya and Tywin Lannister, dancing around their suspicions and mistrust and relishing in the intellectual stimulation the other provides. After Tywin whines to The Mountain that he wants him to find who killed Amory Lorch because they were probably after him, he talks to Arya about his legacy. He offers Arya his mutton and she holds her knife maliciously for a bit, but then she sinks her teeth into their conversation. He expects that his current war, “The War of Five Kings” will be what defines him, the glory he passes on to his children. He then discusses the history of Harrenhal as the fortress for King Harren the Black. It was tall enough to withstand any ground assault easily, but the Targaryens changed the rules and their dragons flew over the castle giving the towers the smoky look of today and obliterating the men inside.

Arya reminds him that not only Aegon Targaryen rode dragons, his sisters did too. Way to go, feminist kid! Those sisters, Visenya and Rhaenys were fierce warriors. Arya particularly idolizes Visenya, her dragon Vhagar and her Valyrian sword Dark Sister. Tywin asks her why she isn’t interested in the maidens of the songs like most girls. And like a boss she answers, “Most girls are idiots.” BOOM. Then Tywin makes a telling remark that he knows her secret. No matter how she tries to convince that she is a stonemason’s daughter, she is too literate and learned. He knows she must be noble. He corrects her and says that noble women say “My Lord,” commoners say “Milord.” She must play the part better. Is he so enchanted with her, will he not care of what noble birth she is from? The stepping on eggshells while having enlightening discussions is a stellar combo, and a wonderful way to spend this “downtime.”

King’s Landing

The Hound gives a foreboding message to Sansa when she criticizes his gleeful attitude toward killing. After he assures her that even her father loved killing (“It’s the sweetest thing there is”), he insists she’ll appreciate the hateful things he does when he is all that stands between her and her beloved king. We know he’s prone to abusing women, this marriage could prove hurtful for her on many levels. That fear paralyzes her when she wakes from a a nightmare to discover she has bled. She can now bear Joffrey’s children. Shae helps her to conceal it and even puts a knife to the throat of another handmaiden who was peaking. But suddenly, The Hound is there hovering over the soiled sheets.

In the next scene, we start to feel bad for Cersei when she describes the sham of a marriage she had with Robert. He would flee to hunt when she was close to labor, then return with pelts. She gave him a baby. Her other womanly wisdom for Sansa is to love as little as possible since it makes you weak. “Love no one but your children.” Then Sansa becomes confused, this whole time she felt it was vital for her to love Joffrey. So when she asks shouldn’t I love the king, Cersei responds: “You can try, little dove.” Chilling stuff. She may, besides her son, be the most manipulative and sociopathic villain there is, there are reasons why she is so horrid.

My ability to “relate” to Cersei increases when she confides in Tyrion (the brother she loathes!) that she’s afraid she’ll have to pay the price for her sins, her incest with Jamie. At the start, Tyrion is calculated and says the advancing fleet of Stannis Baratheon must be dealt with, get Joffrey to start acting like a king, but she can’t. He quips, “it’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you put on a crown on it’s head. But he consoles her when she cites the Targaryens as a family who bred internally and how half of them went mad. She wonders if her uncontrollable child is the madness she deserves for her repulsive sexual acts. Tyrion assures her that the young ones, Myrcella and Tommen are good and although I’m sure Tyrion finds the relationships between his siblings gross, he doesn’t mention it here. Tyrion has on several occasions undermined his sister because he doesn’t trust her, but there’s no doubt how pitiful Cersei is here, and that it takes her down a peg on the villainy scale.

Qarth

The crazies come out. While Xaro can’t stop bragging about how rich he is now, he’s also distraught because he took a blood oath to protect Daenerys. Now that her dragons are gone his reputation is tainted: “A man is what he is to others and nothing more,” he says. Ser Jorah returns and although his crush on her is still a source of tension, his counsel is important to her. He understands her trust issues because she has no loyal followers yet (The Dothraki mostly left her), but he knows no one can survive this world without help.

Daenerys then pleads to the Thirteen for help to find her dragons and they are reluctant. The fat, annoying, yet eloquent speaker one says they don’t want to since dragons only bring destruction and misery. Then Daenrys is like, “But they’re my children!” Then one of the Thirteen, warlock Pyat Pree speaks up saying they are cruel to separate her from them. He declares that he has allied with lofty ambitions man, Xaro Xhoan Daxos, to make him King of Qarth and to open up their city to the West. He uses his strange brand of magic then to multiple behind all the remaining members and slit their throats. While not as bizarre (blood spilled is typical now on GoT), it was even more jarring because of how random it was. The warlock was not showcased nearly enough to give me a sinking feeling like I had with Melisandre. Once again men who realize that times have changed do what they are willing to do and cut out the antiquated council and get with the times. The warlock strongly urges Daenerys to find her dragons, that he admits to stealing, in the House of the Undying. That sounds like a fun stroll, right? Nope, sounds like the carnival ride from hell.

Robb Stark’s camp

While a smitten Robb promises to smuggle more medical supplies for the sexy Talisa, bringing her along for The Crag’s conditioned surrender, Jamie Lannister makes a break for it. When his distant cousin Alton relays the news that Cersei ripped up Robb’s demands they hold him in the cell with Jamie. Not Robb’s best choice, but he was pressed and he’s trying to get with a nurse. Needless to say, the man’s busy. Anyway, our time not listening to Jamie ramble on like The Joker about how honorable people are hypocrites seems like wasted time now.

When Alton is first dropped in, Jamie makes small talk asking who he is and Alton says he was once his squire. When he jogs his memory Jamie compliments the lad and reminisces when he was 16 and squired for Ser Barrister Selmy. He describes the honor as being like living a dream. It’s clear how much he values fighting and knighthood. Then he complains how he isn’t suited for subservience like Ned Stark and how he has been planning to escape and that Alton can help. He has no qualms about whispering in the adoring young man’s ear that he will have to die. He clobbers his distant cousin over the head till death and then strangles the guard who comes to tend to him.

Northern bannerman catch the escaped Kingslayer and call for his head, especially Lord Karstark, the strangled guard’s father. Catelyn tells him to stand down in the name of King of the North. The men get rowdy then, getting drunker and ranting about how Talisa has made Robb soft and that they don’t want to die defending a Lannister. Catelyn then confronts Jamie herself. Jamie shows no remorse and even assures that any knight would have done the same. Catelyn believes he is no knight because he has forsaken any vow he ever took. Jamie the retorts that vows can’t be followed dutifully. What if a king he should obey kills the innocent he should protect? The vigilante starts making a lot of sense! Jamie then goes overboard though, pushing the wrong button. He asserts that he’s more honorable than Ned Stark because he has only been with one woman (Cersei) when Ned had a bastard child (Jon) with a whore. He incurs the wrath of Mama Stark and Catelyn asks for Brienne’s sword.

You know when Jamie and Cersei start to seem reasonable that the world’s capacity for ethics has been depleted. Moral relativism is the name of the game. Do what must be done until principle, honor and righteousness are a luxury you can afford. Until then, plan for a sword to stab you in the back by stabbing them first. Even the expert schemers like Tyrion seem woeful for the turn the world has taken. Whether you call it evil, magic, karma, or God’s will, it an undeniable force that is suffocating the order of Westeros with its disorderly conduct. Nothing makes sense, so make your own rules. As anarchy reigns, I await with great anticipation as the dominoes fall. I hope we see our favorite fire priestess soon and that when Stannis’ fleet comes knocking there’s a throwdown for the ages in King’s Landing. For a setup as delightful as any battle due to psychological and philosophical wafare, “A Man Without Honor” earns my allegiance through cunning and contemplation. Westeros is as complicated and complex as ever, but a joy to navigate.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

Featuring host-of-the-week and returning alum Will Ferrell and countless other celebrity cameos, The Lonely Island’s 100th (and, perhaps, final?) bite size music video “Digital Short” aired last Saturday.

In the typical laugh-out-loud, what-just-happened fashion that the group has seemingly perfected over the years, two of The Lonely Islands’ founding members – Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone – teamed up with honorary member Justin Bieber to announce their raunchy and offbeat plans to celebrate their centennial effort. Tuxedo-clad and beaming with pride, they announce to the Biebs that they’re going to…well, congratulate themselves, so to speak.

References to past Shorts appeared throughout, including Natalie Portman’s psychotic alter-ego, Justin Timberlake’s mustached”Dick in a Box” character, and Kenan Thompson’s Reba McEntire, among others.

To count the throwback references yourself, or to simply appreciate the song in all of its R-rated glory, watch below:

Raphael Sbarge, an accomplished actor of over four decades, sat down with Blast to talk "Once Upon A Time."

Raphael Sbarge, who plays Dr. Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket on ABC’s “Once Upon A Time,” recently took the time to answer of my questions. He delved into his character, reflected on the season, and spoke about the show’s improbable success in its first year.

BLAST: First, your career spans many recognizable titles in TV and film. You had a role on The Guardian as well as several parts on notable shows like Dexter, Heroes, 24, Prison Break, and the list goes on. No doubt you’ve had a prolific career and have been sought after for many parts. What in particular drew you to the role of Dr. Archie Hopper a.k.a Jiminy Cricket?

RS: Thank you for your kinds words.  Yes, I have been blessed with a career that had many wonderful opportunities.  Needless to say, there are hills and valleys in any actor’s journey, and one never knows what is coming next, and so you learn, as a matter of survival, to finesse the twists and turns that are inevitable. As far as Once Upon a Time is concerned, my feeling from the moment I read the script was that it was something special.  My concern (on the page) was that it was wildly ambitious, and could never be pulled off.  I mean, how on earth could they create two distinct worlds— and one a fantasy world, in a regular 8 day shooting schedule (the standard amount of time for a network show?)  Clearly they have exceeded expectations on all counts.  I shudder to think how this idea would have been done in lesser hands.

BLAST: Now, funny enough, I started reviewing Once Upon A Time for Blast a few episodes into the season and the first review I did was of your spotlight episode, “That Still Small Voice.” Tell me what it was like to delve into this fresh back-story for the Jiminy Cricket character and what may have surprised or intrigued about the somewhat dark direction the show took with his beginnings and transformation from man to cricket.

RS: When I first heard that it was “coming”( from our creators, Eddie Kitsis, and Adam Horowitz)  I got very excited.  When I finally got to read it, I was really moved by the story they had created— it made me weep, actually.  Jiminy’s story is not a happy one.  His “conscience” was born out of some terrible stuff, which, in my humble opinion, gives it some depth (and doesn’t make him a “know-it-all.”)   Once I got past the teary stage, then I got to the “Holy-Cow!” stage, meaning, this is a big bite, and one that will make a lasting impression.  There are moments, and this was one of them, when the “Hey, I’m portraying an icon and I hope I’m up to the challenge” gave me more than a few sleepless nights.   I was very happy with how it turned out, and been greeted with folks saying, “Wow!  I didn’t know that was Jiminy Cricket’s back story.”  Of course they made it up, but I consider this a huge compliment to their ingenuity.

BLAST: A follow-up to my last question about “That Still Small Voice,” your real-world arc in that episode surrounds Archie’s relationship with Henry. Will that doctor-patient relationship play a role as Emma seeks custody of her son?

RS: As I write this, I believe that you will have seen a scene with Emma and I that addresses that, yes [In last week's "An Apple Red As Blood].   There is clearly a struggle, a battle for Henry and for who knows best.  Adam and Eddie have set up a huge power play between two powerful women— both seemingly with Henry’s well being in mind, but with different methods, it seems.  Henry too, has emerging ideas about who he wants to spend time with.  Clearly we have not seen the end of this.  Archie, as the man in the middle, will have a lot to discuss.  Won’t it be interesting if the Mayor comes to the therapy room, too?

BLAST: A couple weeks ago in “The Return,” Dr. Hopper had his first pivotal scene since Jiminy Cricket’s “fairyback” (my term for the fairy tale flashbacks) where Archie has a mini-therapy session with Mr. Gold. This exchange fascinated me and a lot of fans because it gave Gold a vulnerability we hadn’t yet seen. How did you approach that scene and do you think Gold will return to Dr. Hopper for further therapy?

RS: I love that term, “fairyback!”  You may have coined something!  Ha!  Yes!  We got tremendous response to that scene— I LOVE Robert Carlyle, and was a huge fan of his even before I got to be on a show with him( and now that I get to watch him every week, my appreciation has only grown!)    We had a blast together, and I do hope we have many more opportunities to explore some of the themes that got initiated in that episode.

BLAST: ”The Stranger” was one of my favorite episodes of the season, and you as the voice of Jiminy Cricket played a significant role. Can you tell our readers a little more about how you feel your character played a vital part in Geppetto and Pinocchio’s story (on the show)?

RS: I loved this episode too (but I have so many favorites now, its hard to pick one out, personally).  Tony Amendola who plays Gepetto, quite by coincidence, is an old friend of mine.  We have known each other for 25 years, and done more plays together than I can count.  He is such a wonderful actor, and I was incredibly proud of him.  I loved too, the last moment in the episode when August/ Pinocchio says to his father, “I want to fix things.” Killed me.   I was there doing off camera Jiminy work for the scene at the enchanted tree, when Gepetto and Jiminy have a tiff— and was so pleased that we got to revisit the painful past between these two.  There is a lot to mine, in that relationship I think.  And, needless to say, the episode was just wonderful!

BLAST: Can you speculate at all about how Archie/Jiminy Cricket will factor in next season? If you can’t speculate, what would you like to see for Archie/Jiminy in successive seasons?

RS: Well, I am in the dark as much as you are, frankly ( the story lines to future episodes are a very closely guarded secret, especially for next year).  But that said, I will be interested to see if we get a chance to explore Archie’s love life and or his life in the town outside of his time in the office.  As well, I would love to see more time with Mr. Gold, or Emma, or the Mayor in the therapy room.  Based on the finale, I would say there is a lot of job security ahead for a therapist in Storybrooke.

BLAST: Do you approach your character as separate entities (Archie Hopper AND Jiminy Cricket) that you play differently (distinct voices, personalities, demeanors), or do consider them as one person at two places in time that happens embody a human and cricket form?

RS: This is a very interesting question.  They are, I believe, as you suggest, the same person, in two places at once.  One has a broader view of things, and one is locked in time.  And there is indeed a different voice that Jiminy has.  But, they are both bound by a conscience, born of some hard knocks, and a desire to help others find their way.

BLAST: Obviously, doing the voice of a CGI cricket is a lot different from playing a human therapist. What can you tell us about filming the Jiminy scenes and how involved you are in the process?

RS: It is a fascinating experience.  Completely different from any other I have ever had on a set.  I mean, to be an actor in the scene, playing it full out, but to always be off camera is very unusual.  The actors in the scene, ON camera have been very thankful that I am there to do it (and not a script supervisor, reading lines from way off set, as is the norm).  It has given me, as well, a chance to find him amidst the action, and not just on a dark sound stage by myself.  I have done a lot of voice over work in other mediums (in video games, and commercial work), and it is a particular skill.  But, this is unique in my four decades as an actor.

BLAST: As a Lost fan, I have great respect for Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis. I often talk in my reviews about the similarities the shows share. Kitsis and Horowitz use flashbacks in both to add depth to characters, and I talk about the theme of faith vs. reason—a continuous thread in Lost and something Emma is struggling with mightily on Once Upon A Time. What is it like to work with those two (Kitsis and Horowitz) and what elements of Lost do you think they’ve carried over to this show?)

RS: Wow. Big question.  You elucidate the theme quite beautifully. I would say simply, that it is a marvel to work with them. They have created a very, very complex world, with distinct rules, and clear structure (very hard to do).  I don’t know if I can speak to how Lost themes or elements have carried over, but I can say that I am constantly surprised how they are able to surprise me.  I mean, I watch television.  I work in television.  More often then not, I can anticipate where the story is headed, who the killer is, or where it might be headed.  With this show, I never know where they are going next, and this seems to be one of the things that fans are so excited about (amongst others, of course).  What they have done is create a world of characters that are both good and evil, but complex, and multidimensional.With the Evil Queen or Rumplestilskin, we see evil deeds, with devastating consequences, but we also get to see the cost, the pain, the horror of their interior life, that gives us compassion for them, even as we love to hate them.
This is no easy task— and to do it week after week, I am as I say, slack jawed at how they can balance so many stories at once. I feel at times like a squealing fan, and when people tell me ( as they often do), “I’m totally addicted to your show.”  I say, “I know!  Me, too!”

BLAST: To be honest, it seemed improbable this series would last. It’s such a high-concept show that asks a lot of its audience in terms of patience and trust that it will all become clear soon. Though it helps that the source material includes familiar and timeless tales like Snow White and Pinocchio. But against formidable odds, it has a huge following and is the most watched new drama. Are you surprised at all by the show’s success?

RS:  I am 100 percent surprised by the success.  Not as any disparagement to any of us.  But, just because the odds of any new show finding its audience is slim to none— let alone to be dubbed the “most watched new drama.”  Just as I was writing these answers to you,  I just got an email from Adam and Eddie saying it was official, we are picked up for next year (thrilling to hear!).   Based on the honor of Most Watched, we all felt pretty confident, but needless to say, after years of doing this job, it makes you very humble and grateful for those rare moments when something comes together and works.  This is one of those rare moments.

BLAST: here’s some incredible acting on this show (yourself included, obviously ha-ha). Who have you most enjoyed working with?

RS: I feel like I am on an All-Star team, and every time I come to the set, the level of  commitment and pride that we all share is very evident.  In fact, it is shared by every department— camera, props, costumes— even the guy who watches our cars in the parking lot told me how proud he was to be on this crew!   We all feel like we are on something very special.

BLAST: Overall, what have you considered most rewarding about working on Once Upon A Time and playing Archie/Jiminy?

RS: As actors, we are innately story tellers.  We are, of course, completely reliant on the world that is created by the writers, and the elements that they craft for us.  What is most rewarding?  The absolutely breathtaking stories that we get to tell, every week.  I am so incredibly grateful.

BLAST: For our readers, what should fans know before going into the finale? Will their minds be blown? Can fans look forward to more answers (like the many provided in “The Stranger”) or will more questions arise?

RS: I can’t tell you. But, even if I could, wouldn’t you rather find out yourself?  So much more fun to unwrap you own Christmas present, isn’t it?  :)  What I will say is this, prepare for a big finish!

BLAST: Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Sbarge. It’s been a pleasure and an honor to speak with you and I wish you (and Archie/Jiminy) all the best. I hope I get to speak with you in the future regarding Once Upon A Time and possibly any other roles you take on.

RS: And, thank you for these great questions!

A video game lawsuit filed against Beyoncé has been given the go ahead by Manhattan judge Charles Ramos. The lawsuit, filed by Gate Five Studios last year, claims that the songstress broke her contract and backed out of a $20 million deal for a game called Starpower: Beyoncé after demanding more money.

This forced Gate Five to lay off 70 employees during the busy 2010 holiday season. Beyoncé’s legal team claims that Gate Five did not have enough funding for the game and it was in her rights to abandon the project. Judge Ramos, however, states that Beyoncé simply did not give enough notice.

“You continue to negotiate right up until the time you pull the plug. That is not going to work with me,” Ramos told Beyoncé’s lawyers, according to the New York Post.

Gate Five is hoping to recover $6.7 million in investment capital and over $100 million in potential profits for the game. The lawsuit will head to court later this year.

These claims were filed while Beyoncé was pregnant with her first child Blue Ivy, and this news now comes to the singer during her first Mother’s Day weekend. If Beyoncé had done a little research, she should have just gone ahead with the production of her video game. Dance games actually have a nice niche in the gaming market, and considering her mama’s Beyoncé, I’m sure Blue Ivy would have learned to dance along with the game way before she started walking.

Source: New York Post
Via: Gamasutra

The 23rd installment of the James Bond movie franchise hits theaters on November 9. Help us celebrate 50 years of these iconic and sexy Bond girls by sharing this ‘work-appropriate’ piece of art!

One aspect of the James Bond movies that will never change is the beauties that can’t resist the charm of 007. Over the past 50 years James Bond has had no shortage of voluptuous vixens. Here is a well-made visual history of the Bond Girls in put together by the folks at CableTV.com in celebration of 007’s Golden Anniversary.

Who’s your favorite Bond girl of all time? Let us know in the comments section!

Via CableTV.com

Ben (Adam Scott) and Leslie (Amy Poehler) share a private moment before she gives her victory speech.

Well, that was a close call. I almost had to go on a murderous rampage because of how irrationally angry I was that Leslie lost. But unlike a certain real-life election, a recount changed the course of history.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, this show is supremely talented at capturing the immense scope of what makes life lovely, laughable, difficult and dreamlike. While there was no shortage of burst-at-the-seams lines from the eccentric cast, I found myself rewinding my DVR furiously to relive the overwhelmingly affectionate exchanges. I’d imagine an election night must be similar to any milestone or “Kodak” moment. On par with prom, graduation, your wedding, your first child’s birth, or any achievement of a lifelong dream, Leslie’s win was an occasion that went by too fast to witness, but not quick enough that it couldn’t be lived to the fullest. But life doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and decisions made during the ecstasy, anxiety and heart thumping could have major repercussions. While I was wrong that Leslie would lose (thankfully), I was guessed correctly that the results would drastically change everything that involved this parks department family.

All the laboring is out the way, now it’s just the waiting game. Our intro to the episode showcases Jennifer Barkley’s desperate attempts to give Bobby an edge with Sweetums-sponsored voting machines that pop out a candy bar when you vote Newport and play the sound of a baby crying when you vote Knope—even asking “Are you sure?” And while these are all absurd tack-ons (including that under Pawnee election law, in the event of a tie the man wins and the woman goes to jail), it was the jaunty beginning we needed with so much tension surrounding the results. We get some  delightful side plots to ease our minds as well.

Tom is sure he had a premonition the night before about Ann asking him to get back together at the post-election celebration. The details surrounding his dream (more on those later) don’t suggest that as a remote possibility, but it motivates him to throw a dope-as-hell gala. Although it can’t be a pimps and hoes pajama party because Ben’s an uptight nerd—his words not mine. April calls Andy in a panic because in trying to transfer department files to a thumbdrive she accidentally deleted them all. Andy’s solution is to use the XBox method: blow on it and slap it. For fixing game systems, that’s shockingly accurate. For a computer, it simply knocks it to the ground. For Chris, there’s the matter of his one-night stand with Jenn Barkley. He shares all the details of his sensational experience with Ann Perkins, but since he’s vulnerable and prone to attachment he tries to talk with her, but instead is sucked into her web of sloppy supply closet sex.

At the voting booths, Leslie assures Bobby that voting for yourself is not illegal while Ben gets a job offer from Jenn. Admiring his campaign managing acumen, she extends him the opportunity to assist her in a Congressional campaign. The position would require him to be in Washington D.C for six months, however. You can tell he’s elated. Not only is he avenging his disastrous turn as an 18 year-old mayor, but he’s moving up in the world like his love, Leslie. But when Leslie extracts the information from him she says they’ll talk it over, but you can tell she doesn’t want him to go. Her reasoning is sound: they haven’t had a sense of normalcy in months and she just wants to enjoy him and their time together.  She puts those worries on the back burner though as she soaks up her fantasy turned reality as she punches the hole next to her name, and it’s too darn cute. After being Leslie the campaigning robot, she has a private release of pure humanity where her determination and drive has culminated in a scene she’s likely played in her head multiple times, but now it’s happening. Obviously. Bobby ruins it, needing assistance in the booth—he has ink all over his hands, the pen broke off the chain, he doesn’t get it!

After the polls have closed the gang, minus preoccupied April and Andy, heads to the Jermaine Jackson Ballroom (so named because he visited Pawnee, once.) After one percent of precincts reporting, Brandi Maxxxx had a commanding lead. I’d like to think that moment was a shoutout to the wonderful work actress Mara Marini did for that role in “The Debate,” but it coud be that those precincts really enjoy their porn. Ann calms a frantic Leslie who’s immediately worried her dreams would be crushed by an adult film star. Ann planned an outing for them if such an occasion were to arise where Leslie lost her head: kickboxing.

Back at the office, Andy suggests that if April gets fired for losing the files they’ll just move to a new city, burn their fingertips with acid, swap faces if necessary and go from there. He starts brainstorming places where they can live and new jobs they’ll acquire. As always, “Parks” includes jokes in any written or visual material and this time there were many fictional places on the list including Winterfell (where my GoT fans at?!). April, as the more practical of the two, calls Donna who fixes their issue with a couple clicks. Jerry deletes files accidentally all the time so she had her own secret backup installed. Oh, Donna. How underappreciated you are.

Separated at that time, Leslie consults Ann while punching with her fists of fury, and Ben asks Ron, about how they should approach his job offer. Both, if given the chance, would clearly do what the other wanted. That’s why they get along so well. They’re selfless and sacrificing and downright kind folks. Leslie confesses it would kill her if he left, and Ann rightly advises her she has to tell him that. Ron after divulging more of his odd habits and examples of his resistance to change, convinces Ben that because Leslie and he would be willing to jump off a cliff into the great unknown together, they’ll be okay apart. That’s what a good relationship is. Ben swallows that sound advice, but he can’t hold his dark liquor and his horrifying face was our slapstick reward for the day. With 75% reporting, Leslie’s up by 182 votes and Jerry praying hard since he didn’t get to the polls in time to vote. And the self-loathing man he is (and because he’s tormented by misfortune) he’s certain he’ll be the difference if it comes down to the wire.

Ben expectedly agrees without hesitation to stay when Leslie expresses her insecurities over him leaving. He claims he was on the fence anyway, but he’s such a gentleman and cares so deeply, it’s no question that’s lip service. In a karmic twist, just as Leslie strips her support from Ben, the election is called by Perd Hapley and Bobby has won by 21 votes. Ben rushes to Leslie’s defense and as master of election law he demands a recount since 21 votes is well within the 1% necessary to justify it. Worried the results will change, Jenn offers the conciliation prize of Joe Biden’s home phone number, and Leslie almost takes it. It’s such a subtle callback to her unorthodox crush, and props to the writers for knowing that was the precise time to use it. The balance between crisis and hilarious distraction has always been striking on this show, but they flexed their muscles in a finale that called for extreme peaks and valleys.

When Leslie goes missing as the votes are tallied, Ron knows where to find her. The council chambers. She sits in the chair that would be hers and laments all the people she’ll disappoint if she loses. Always the giver, she’s sick over all the spare minutes her friends have spent on her that might go to waste. And Ron nails the mentality of not only why he and the department love her, but why we love her. “We didn’t volunteer because we wanted to wrap ourselves in personal glory. We did it because we care, about you…That’s what you do when you care about someone. You support them, win, lose, or draw.” I got all misty-eyed, I couldn’t help it. I adore their unlikely mentor/mentee relationship. Their aren’t many public figures who hold opposing political beliefs that would respect each other on such an intrinsic level. It’s rare in television too, to see a relationship amongst opposite sexes that is purely platonic with so much heart. Bravo.

Ron’s speech inspires Leslie to change her mind about Ben leaving for D.C. She takes one of her fifty Washington Monument figurines (always the patriot) and surprises him. That tiny replica is not only a testament to the rock solid foundation of their relationship, but it represents his dreams that she’ll support, like how he presented her with the “Knope 2012″ button (I’m told she used the same box Ben did). He put her ambitions before “them,” now she’ll return the favor. They kid around saying they’ll “do it” all over Washington if that’s how they’ll be together when Ann interrupts. In a somber tone she reveals that the margin is still 21 votes…but in her favor. Leslie tears up, and even I want to bawl like a baby for her as relief washes over the scene. The right person won. How often does that happen? I was wrong in assuming her loss would be the biggest surprise. Her win, although a happy ending, is still improbable. As “Catch Your Dream” blares in the background, Jenn runs off without giving Chris a proper goodbye (she doesn’t deserve him), Ron declines the assistant city manager position, staying true to who he is—a man who likes things just the way they are—and the fan favorite Jean Ralphio butts in to take the job, but Chris rejects him immediately. He takes it well though, “Smart move, go with your gut.”

As Leslie prepares to give her victory speech she requests that some day she read the concession speech Ben wrote for her. But he never wrote one. That’s belief. That’s love. And that was the third time I got super puddly. Leslie’s speech even tops the one in “The Debate,” when she wraps up Ben’s fine portion and goes rogue with a touching sentiment—”Let’s break out a map. Not the old one that shows where we’ve been, but a crisp, new one that shows where we might go. Let’s embark on a new journey together and see where it takes us.” Unfortunately, this feeling is reflective of the script’s writer, creator Michael Schur. As I’m writing this, “Parks and Recreation” has not yet been renewed, it’s status in series limbo. The episode was written as a potential series finale. It’s open ended, sure. Nostra-Tomus’ premonition comes true and a drunken Ann agrees they should move in together—promising no takebacks when she sobers up—and April encourages Andy to become a police officer since he had that as a dream job on his board when he thought they’d need to go on the lamb. Still, it does have an air of finality. Leslie is living a dream, Ben is off to D.C, Ron is happy where he is, and the others reach for the stars.

It’s absurd that a show with such heart, hysterical wit and iconic characters could cease to exist, but in reality what this finale proved was that whether another episode airs or not, “Parks and Recreation” is not any singular episode, scene, or gut-busting line. It’s the soul. It’s what these people mean to us, how a group of people who never existed in reality feels like family that we might lose forever. I won’t shed a tear though if “Parks” is cancelled. I did enough of that watching “Win, Lose, or Draw.” I’ll smile because the memories will live on on Netflix and elsewhere and in our collective consciousness as a triumph of spirit—proof that people with different viewpoints, personalities and predispositions can band together to make true change happen. And there’s a last bit of humor there. I’m not sure whether I’m talking about the incredible staff on the show, or the lovable crew who reside in the Pawnee inside us all.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- “Last night at approximately 2:30 a.m, I woke up from a dream that felt so real it had to be a premonition. Me, Drake and the T-Mobile girl were playing baccarat on a private jet. Ann Perkins walks up to me and says, ‘Tommy, tomorrow night I’m taking you back.’ Then Blue Ivy Carter high-fived me and gave me 40 million dollars. It was all SO REAL.”

- Chris: “Recently, in a moment of weakness I had sex, with Bobby Newport’s campaign manager, Jennifer Barkley.” Ann: “Seriously?” Chris: “Yes, several times. And several more times. Then a couple more times. And then one more time.”

- “Our ferocious sexual decathlon did improve my mood.”

- “First of all, you did the right thing hiding under this table.”

- Leslie: “What were you talking with Jenn about?” Ben: “Oh nuthin’. No I just—nuthin’. She’s—nuthin’. Nuthin’ nuthin’. It’s nuthin’. Hey, what’s a good place to buy jeans.” Leslie: “You have plenty of jeans!”

- “Brandi Maxxxx, the porn star, is gonna beat me. What is this, Italy?”

- “You’re thoughtful, you’re brilliant, and your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of the American melting pot.”

- “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”

- “I’ve had the same haircut since 1978, and I’ve had the same car since 1991. I’ve used the same wooden comb for three decades. I have one bowl. I still get my milk delivered by horse.”

- Ben: “Why are you laughing?” Leslie: “Because my dream is dead (laughs manically). Oh f*ck.”

- “Who’s got two thumbs and was just cleared of insurance fraud? This guy!”

- “Guys, we’re going to J.J’s for victory waffles, then we’re staying up all night talking about our lives and our feelings. Non-negotiable! Let’s go! City council bitches!!!”

UPDATE: All is right with the world! As of 3 p.m. Friday, NBC has renewed “Parks and Recreation!” For more details, click here.

Let’s get this out of the way. Sacha Baron Cohen exploded onto the feature film scene with “Borat” in 2006. “Bruno” quickly followed. Both movies combined the pseudo-documentary and mockumentary styles–along with a lot of potty mouth—to great effect. Both movies featured an odd and uninitiated foreigner coming to America to discover its wonders while at the same time exposing the unseemly side of many of its citizens—a sort of picaresque for the modern age. “Borat” was the more successful of the two, largely because Bruno was a rehash of the first movie with a lot more crudeness and staged scenes.

At first glance, “The Dictator,” which is the third film to combine the irreverence of Cohen and director Larry Charles, would seem to be the same gambit. A foreigner who has no internal censor winds up in America and must make his way with the aide of every masturbation and ethnic joke in the book. What’s different is that “The Dictator” is entirely fictional. There are no interviews with real people who have no idea they are being set up and mercilessly mocked. I think this was a good move for Cohen and Charles. Austin Powers was hilarious. The second installment less so. The third, stale. What started out as fresh and original became old news by film number three.

This is not to say “The Dictator” is a return to the glory of “Borat.” Don’t get me wrong: there are a million laughs in “The Dictator.” Every race, sex, and sector of society is skewered as the character Cohen plays, a fictional mid-east strongman, is replaced by a double on a trip to the United Nations. With the help of a progressive New York shopkeeper (who doesn’t know his identity) and an old countryman, he must thwart a plan to turn his dictatorship into a democracy.

But forget the plot. It’s so thin you’d need a microscope to see it. It’s all just an excuse to turn what feels like a Saturday Night Live skit into a feature film. The movie is as funny as hell, but herein lies the problem. The movie struggles to be an hour and twenty minutes, and at the one-hour mark I was tired of laughing. I wasn’t interested in finding out what was to happen, like I might in most movies, but simply looking for the next gag.

Many would consider Sacha Baron Cohen the comic genius of our time. Indeed, “The Dictator” may be channeling Charlie Chaplin, who made two movies that recall similar story lines. The first was “The Great Dictator,” in which Chaplin plays a fictional Hitler. The second was “A King in New York,” in which Chaplin plays a deposed monarch taking refuge in New York. Is Cohen cribbing or paying homage to Chaplin? Is Cohen the Chaplin of our times? Cohen is a great talent, but I’m not so sure jokes about “rape centers” and anal torture will earn him a place in the pantheon of great film comedians. Too often, Cohen departs from the field of satire and farce and goes for the cheap joke.

“The Dictator” is the kind of movie during which you laugh a lot, but when it appears on cable one year later, you only watch the funniest five minutes. Kind of like a Saturday Night Live skit, except you don’t have to bother with the other one hour and fifteen minutes of ostensible ‘story.’

Mara Marini guest starred as Brandi Maxxxx on this season's episode, "The Debate," on NBC's "Parks and Recreation"

Mara Marini may be from Canada originally, but her face and ambition say Hollywood. Even in a phone interview she exudes an infectious sweetness that you’d imagine would have to carry over on the small or big screen.

And while she would tell you she’s blessed and appreciative of all that her time in Los Angeles has afforded her, it almost doesn’t seem fair that it’s taken this long for her star to shine.

“I literally told my parents since I was four years old, ‘I’m gonna move to L.A. as soon as I graduate…I knew I wanted to be here, I just didn’t know how I was going to get here,” Marini recalls.

Her ticket was acceptance to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (AADA). After attending York University in Toronto, Marini auditioned for the prestigious school that has trained many noteworthy names, including Adam Scott, Marini’s co-star on the hit NBC sitcom “Parks and Recreation.”

Coincidentally,  Adam Scott spoke at her graduation- and fellow “Parks” guest star Paul Rudd spoke at Adam Scott’s graduation, creating what Marini calls a “trifecta” of AADA alums on “Parks and Recreation.”

Regarding the idea of “making it,” Marini “never really had any grandiose ideas about being a star,” she says. “I just knew I wanted to act and I never wanted to do anything else.”

She had gained theatre experience in Canada and continued on that track in L.A. She also “did a lot of indie films, anything I could get my hands on.”

Only recently did she hire an agent that she really likes. Before that, she was self-made – a scrappy, door-to-door saleswoman of sorts, pitching herself at meetings. Amazingly, her problem was that she was just another blonde beauty with personality. “We have someone just like you” was an oft-heard soft blow sort of rejection she’d receive. Then there would be the vulgar male agents looking to capitalize on her sexuality: “We need you to come back in a bikini.”

After graudation, she faced many of the anxieties most young professionals face. “It was a lot of hustle…I knew I’d have to find my niche, so I tried a bunch of different things. I did stand-up [comedy] for a while,” she recalls. Though that foray only lasted about a year, like anything it was a learning experience.

“The problem for me was, to get into comedy,  you really have to make that a career. You start off as either a ‘bringer’ or a ‘ringer’. So unless you’re a ‘bringer’ , which is like the star, you have to bring a certain amount of people per show or they’ll take speech time. So the first few times were great, but I didn’t want to be asking my friends to  come every week, so it was a catch-22.”

Marini learned that it takes full devotion to make it as a comedian. Her friend, comedian Colin Kane, has taught her by example. ” … 24/7 he’s on it, promoting himself, him and his manager just going at it,” she says.  ”It really has to be your love and your career. And acting is where my passion lies.”

Of course, nothing in her acting career has come close to “Parks and Recreation,” which she describes as “the best time of my life.” The gig to end all gigs came about when Dorian Frankel, the casting director on the show, was holding a workshop. “Most of the time it isn’t super fruitful, I feel. But this time, I saw a breakdown for this Brandi Maxxxx character and submitted myself,” she recalls. “I felt like, ‘I have this, I have this. This is totally me.’”

Despite being disappointed with her audition, Marini landed the part. “That’s why you never know,” she says simply.

She’s had instances where casting directors have said “‘you will definitely hear back from us,’  then nothing. Or you will walk out feeling really bad about yourself, and you end up booking it. You just never know.”

The struggles to please industry professionals don’t stop there, however. The casting director for a now cancelled ABC  show, The Whole Truth,” had brought Marini to try out several parts, and was not blind to her talents – but there was one aspect of her that he took issue with.

“He called my agent— a totally unsolicited call, which is nice—and said ‘Pilot season is coming up and we love Mara, we think she’s really talented, but you know—her hair is just so blonde. Maybe you should tone it down. Maybe she’s a bit too sexy,” Marini recalls with a laugh.Still, she admits that she did concede, dying her hair dark brown.

As fate would have it, though, she got the call from “Parks and Recreation” in January to appear for a second time as Brandi Maxxxx. Her first appearance was on April 28, 2011 in last season’s “Jerry’s Painting,” (seen at right) in which Brandi Maxxx publicly defends a painting that Jerry (Jim O’Heir) made depicting a topless Greek goddess that bears a striking resemblance to Leslie (Amy Poehler). The dark-haired look didn’t work for the buxom adult film star’s image, and Marini went back to blonde.

“Being yourself” is a challenge Hollywood, and something that Marini has struggled with since leaving the halls of the AADA. “You’ll be typecast as the tough guy or the nerdy guy, but that could be your ‘in’,” she says. “I could go out for more things and tone it down, but that wouldn’t be me.”

It isn’t only her brand of femininity that presents obstacles. Being a woman in the hypersexualized atmosphere of acting still has its pitfalls. “I feel that … there’s still a little bit of an old boys’ club,” she says. Even when she came across female agents, she felt the same discrimination. “I chopped [my hair] to just above my chin, [and dyed it] brown, and she didn’t even get me one audition. And that’s when I was like, ‘No, I’m not listening to anyone else but me’,” she recalls. “She would tell me you’re to pretty to go in for young moms and stuff, but you’re not pretty enough to play a supermodel.”

On May 7, on the heels of a star-studded induction into Cleveland’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Red Hot Chili Peppers brought their funk-rock live show to a sold out TD Garden. Following an opening set by indie rock duo Sleigh Bells, “RHCP” played an energized, 15-song set (and six-song encore) spanning their 29-year career, featuring songs from their latest full-length, I’m With You,  and many of their major hits.

The “I’m with You” Tour continues through North America until June 9, wrapping up with the Bonnaroo Festival, before the band heads over to Europe. The band will return to American soil with a headlining show at the Lollapalooza music festival in Chicago this August.

Several photos of the show can be seen below, courtesy of Blast photographers Lena Mirisola and Nick DiNatale.

The roommates and Cece spend a night together in the desert in the "New Girl" season finale.

“New Girl” didn’t start out as a risky move. It was the opposite: a cashing-in on a budding, beautiful movie star’s brand of comedy. The title, the twee theme song, and the “adorkable” label were all signs of a methodical, machine-like approach to putting butts in the seats and churning out the chuckles. Then something happened. Jess became increasingly self-aware, Nick was less of a sad sack and more a sarcastic, self-loathing yet clever cynic, Winston escaped the shackles of “replacement” and gave the loft a necessary injection of responsibility and Schmidt became iconic: a sensational blend of douchey and neurotic, charming and sleazy, “that guy” and an enigma of manhood we hadn’t seen since Ron Swanson came into his own.

All the elements that had us poised to resent this show are still there, but since the pilot the evolution has been profound. Instead of a peculiar set of men with their world thrown off-kilter by an exceptionally quirky girl, they’re a exceptionally quirky bunch of roommates whose world has been thrown into a new orbit now that they have each other. It’s still a sweet tart at times, unbearably lovely, but it has had its darkness buried beneath. All four of them are hopelessly childish in the face of adulthood and their ineptitude at coping with the harshness of life is astonishing, but it’s not like we’re any better at it. They’re just a hell of a lot more lavish in their freakouts.

In the first season’s finale, we see how far the show has come in establishing the essence of New Girl. It’s Jess-ence doesn’t define it, it merely comprises a quarter of its self. What this rookie series became was an ensemble show that might blow “Friends” out of the water one day. It’s already brandishing a more sophisticated humor, as well as a patience and deliberateness for going to the “let’s have these two hookup” well. Also, lives have suffered under the burden of choice, a self-sabotage that gives it a distinctly present viewpoint.

Yes, I’m sure you fellow viewers never bought Nick was going to bolt for a new place with Caroline. It would mess too much with the success. This show would need a season or two more of praise and clout before they could tinker with the formula like that. But as “New Girl’s” prone to do, it took us on a treacherous journey before these people could know what they knew, but refused to acknowledge.

Nick sits the rest of the gang down with cookies and confidence and states, point blank, he’s moving out. Schmidt and Winston makes jokes about how they’ll spend the money which they aren’t funneling into his recoveries, whereas Jess is more distraught. I was extremely relieved this didn’t end with a kiss. I’m so grateful that the grounds for her concern were genuine, and only selfish to the degree that she needs him to be the friend he’s been through her rough patches. Again, somewhere down the line they could get it on, but not now. The timing is not on their side and gimmick is something this show needs to fully reject or it loses its appeal and becomes corporate instead of a rambunctious bunch of twenty-somethings resisting the finality of growing up.

Schmidt and Winston continue to deny their grief by interviewing a new candidate named Neil (frequently seen Thomas London) who would add a remarkable awkwardness to their dynamic, but not a welcome one. Jess tries to scare him with threats of feminist rants, but Schmidt and Winston talk her off the ledge and say they need to act like it doesn’t hurt them as much as it does to lose Nick.

Since Nick’s departure is just a smokescreen, the topsy-turvy change comes from Schmece. After a visit to a photo shoot where she rides a missile with the hunky Gino, Schmidt’s insecurities that he’d been suppressing rise again. He’s convinced he’d be holding her back asking her to stay with him, even though last week saw a huge breakthrough for their emotional intimacy.

Nick says his hurried goodbyes, and Winston and Schmidt come along for the move-in. On the way Nick’s assuredness leaves him and he turns abruptly onto the highway where he mocks his own predictability. “Nick’s having a freakout, what else is new.” After a 140-mile detour, they’re in the desert, and Nick is panicked that his loneliness has made him too hasty. Now he’s so terrified of the situation he’s locked himself into, he hurls his keys to the truck into the ravine. I thought it was a nice touch that Caroline was so understanding. Though she seemed to treat him awfully before, maybe she has changed. But the issue is Nick hasn’t, and he isn’t ready to leave his protective nest where he relishes in his fellow lost souls.

When Jess arrives to save them, she tosses her own keys dooming them to a night in the desert. Winston has a nervous breakdown, terrified by the prospect that he might be eaten because of their foolishness. The gang makes the best of it though and they tailgate the moving van and listen to Nick’s deliciously embarrassing collection of tapes from adolescence. Schmidt reads a suggestive text message from Gino that sends him into a insecurity tailspin. He confides in Jess that he wants to “White Fang” Cece. At first grossed out, thinking that was some kind of violent sex act no doubt, Schmidt clarifies he means “White Fang” the novel. He admires the main character’s sacrifice where he releases the wolf because it is wild, and to be free is what’s best for it. So when the wolf won’t go he tragically throws stones at it till it leaves. It’s a shockingly mature outlook for Schmidt, but I could tell it was rooted in his own feelings of worthlessness and not righteousness or selflessness.

There’s a silly little event that takes away from the emotional stakes by adding symbolic drama to their night in the desert. A coyote that Winston had feared would come—oh yeah, Winston is afraid of the dark and it’s somehow hilarious; and the petrified, girlish scream startled thing is a good look for him—stops Nick and Jess in their tracks. Besides Jess’ “Meep, meep” Road Runner impression that freed them, the best reveal of that segment was how Nick immediately put his hand over her mouth and pulled her in tight. It was the most genuine affection and chemistry I’d seen from them and showed an admirable amount of restraint that they didn’t go for the “big moment” kiss.

When Schmidt confronts Cece, we get the ups and downs of the character. He has his glorious moment where Cece catches him in the act of White Fanging her—its the only book on his Kindle—and he still puts on the show of trying to make her scram like a loving animal. “Go on, git” and all. Then things get heavy when he tells her why he’s pushing her away. His peeping of her phone is absolutely not okay, and Cece should be mad. But when Schmidt drops the bomb, “You slept with me, that doesn’t say much about your taste in men,” it’s a heart wrenching nose dive. I both like and am frustrated that there wasn’t more resolution. It would seem like they’re done, but she just walks away. Maybe they could play with time a bit and the premiere is months later. Because it’s also unclear if Nick and Caroline are kaput too.

Speaking of, once Jess and Nick have the critical talk about what she really wants for Nick, she’s able to endorse his move-in if it is what will truly make him happy. Nick says the poignant line, “But I think you’ll need me too much,” which sounded like, “But I need you.” Jess then comes off surprisingly clear-headed with, “I’ll be okay because I met you.” Again, control and restraint to not go for the jugular, but still cutting deep was expertly done by these writers. In the morning, we learn Jess never threw the keys and just wanted her heart-to-heart with Nick to be sure he was being thoughtful about his decision. They drop him off at the new place and Schmidt Fredo-kisses him! Such a great callback to “Injured,” a superb episode where that concept was first established—That reminds me of another callback; when Nick first left and the creepy landlord Remy appears to lament with Jess, saying he’ll miss the way Nick smelled.

Then in the final scene we see how well these characters have been defined, in their separate rooms, but we also see how it’s strange to not see them thriving together. Winston is trying to overcome his fear of the dark, Schmidt is reading his Success Weekly, and Jess is in her jammies shutting the shades when she sees the moving van parked in the street. Then Nick appears in his old room and blares his tape of “Shook Me All Night Long,” a signal that he is back. The dancing from each is wonderfully poetic as well. Jess does her adorkable thing and whips her hair while jumping on the bed, Schmidt does elegant bed acrobatics, and Winston claps for a time, then bangs on the wall annoyed. It bodes well that the show ends on this note of solidarity that also showcases their separate eccentricities.

It’s a hell of an angle for this show going into next season. Now that we have this golden gang, let’s help they grow apart now that they’ve grown together. For instance, while Winston has had his spectacular instances, he’s been stunted a bit because the rest of his roommates are so much more flamboyant with their problems. Winston still hasn’t carved a notable niche since returning from Latvia. Who will he become? Jess’ romantic life has been a bust, will she find some solace by herself or will her destructive habits continue? Schmidt and Nick grew the most, but they both sabotaged their potentially true loves out of fear. Can those couples recover or are they back to the drawing board? The answers are unimportant, I’m just glad we’ll get to see these kooky kids do it together.

“New Girl” surprised us all by becoming a hangout comedy as opposed to a cutesy fest that would give us cause to strangle ourselves. It not only developed lovable characters, but it discovered a voice richly filled with pop culture references, a cynical yet refreshing tone and an edgy wit that not many expected. From a rousing game of “True American” to the douchebag jar, it’s been a run that could have easily collapsed, but got second wind in 2012, now there’s no end in sight. Do you “Girl,” do you.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- Schmidt’s homage to Tyga’s “Rack City: “When Nick leaves, i’m just gonna hire a plumber and throw cash at him while he works. Fiddies, and hunnids, hunnids, hunnids.”

- “What is this a carob chip? Are you trying to buy our love with hippie chocolate, ya idiot?”

- Ah, the penis injury. Not much time spent on it, but Schmidt remarks on his bandages being removed: “The Washington Monument is ready to serve his nation. This horse is ready to become a unicorn.”

- Prospective roommate, Neil: “I had the unique experience of having to let myself go. I did not take it well.”

- Schmidt’s bandage removal doesn’t go well, so his junk gets a hard cast. Ironically, now he can’t get hard——Schmidt: “Say something hot to me.” Cece: “Fresh, pressed linens.” Schmidt: Nope, not an inch. It’s like a swaddled baby.”

- “What the hell war is this? Am I supposed to want to buy a missile? Just pounding the drum of war. Did nobody listen to Eisenhower?”

- “How’s the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?”

- “I’m worried about Schmidt. He’s a Jew in the desert I don’t want him to wander.”

- Winston: “The werewolves come out at night, man. I don’t want booby to eat me. I hate thick thighs, and I got a fat ass.”

- “This isn’t another one of those ‘Merlot is the whore of vineyard’ talks is it?”

Lead singer Tom Gabel of the rock band Against Me! came out as transgender to Rolling Stone Magazine on Tuesday.  Gabel plans to take the name Laura Jane Grace and will begin presenting herself as female while undergoing hormone and electrolysis treatments.

Gabel’s wife plans to stay with her through the transition, which Gabel revealed was her biggest fear about coming out.

“For me, the most terrifying thing about this was how she would accept the news,” says Gabel, according to Rolling Stone. “But she’s been super-amazing and understanding.”

Gabel is the first major rock star to transition, which has encouraged her to be open about the process.

“I’m going to have embarrassing moments,” Gabel told the magazine, “and that won’t be fun. But that’s part of what talking to you is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind.”

A full article about Gabel’s transition and what that means for the future of Against Me! will appear in Rolling Stone on Friday, May 11.

The Evil Queen (Lana Parilla) teases Charming (Josh Dallas) by showing him her secret weapon: a poisoned apple.

Emma doesn’t seem so stubborn to me now. I’m having just as much trouble believing this whole curse thing and I’ve known from the beginning it’s “real.”

At this point, I thought all the rules had been established. There’s no magic in this world, Emma’s the only one who can break the curse and no one but Emma can leave Storybrooke. Well, it turns out we weren’t given all the facts. Apparently, Emma, the one person who could break this spell, the one person who has a chance of “bringing back the happy endings” as Henry so nauseatingly put it, cannot be killed by Regina. Why? Well, because that would break the curse. Wait, run that by me again? The Queen was so distraught about Snow White’s “happy ending” that she enacted a curse that would have a GIGANTIC loophole? Or, the curse is virtually indestructible as long as people don’t act predictably. Let me explain.

Here’s how this looks, from afar. The queen can hardly do anything to stop Emma, or she can do anything except kill Emma. My whole Faith vs. Reason argument has some teeth now. The only thing stopping Emma from saving everyone, and inversely the glue that keep Regina’s curse airtight is faith. As Regina’s dream forewarned (shot in the cheesiest, most cliche manner imaginable, and so goddamn obvious), the danger isn’t that Emma has the magic to reverse the curse, it’s the idea that she could rile everyone up to turn on her. As Mr. Gold surmises, “They will be looking for blood.” If Emma suddenly believes Regina is the Evil Queen and that Henry’s beloved book is true, then she is that magnetic figure who could conjure up a good ol’ fashioned mob. But of course Regina can’t eliminate this rabble-rouser that could make the whole town call for her death. Why? Because Rumpelstiltskin said so. Um, okay. Then why would she agree to that?

On the flip side, even if Emma turns a corner and starts to trust her son and believe that fairy tales are possible, all our vile EQ has to do is not kill Emma and evade death herself. And here’s where my whole “religious allegory” theory gets interesting. The only way Emma can ensure her friends live to see their happy endings is to sacrifice herself. If she can provoke Regina to kill her, that is. She would be the savior in the most Biblical sense, because she absolved the sins of these non-believers so that they could be happy again. Or, it becomes the most boring game of chicken EVER. “You’re not gonna kill me! I bet you won’t!” But then there’s the matter of, will Emma killing Regina effectively end the curse, anyway? And one question for Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin. If you want the curse to be broken now, because your son isn’t in Storybrooke like you’d hoped, or whatever your motivation is this week, why don’t you just…reverse it? I mean for god’s sake, it’s your freaking curse! Wouldn’t you know how it works?

Our problem here is MAGIC. Magic as a solution to a problem is lazy and a great way to obliterate the tension in drama. Most great conflict is derived from choice. The easy way or the hard way. Good or evil. Life and death. But when the safety valve of magic is present, there’s always a way out. And I suspect that next week, with the astronomical success this show has had, Emma won’t be saving the day and reversing the curse. Then what would the show be? Fairy Tale Adventure Hour. No thanks. What I’m guessing happens is that some version of the reset button is pressed. Like the Joker and Batman (but not nearly as compelling or twisted) they will “do this dance forever.”

And does anyone else find it odd that Emma’s supposed to save everyone, but none of us know what that means? Yes, it would mean ending the curse, but is it simply a matter of “waking everyone up” like Desmond did on “LOST?” Once Emma gets wise, what does she do with that knowledge? That’s why my sacrificial lamb theory seems to be the only plausible solution. If it’s true, that’s a hell of a twist on happily ever after, but it would feel like a hell of a waste. Some felt that way about “LOST,” and for some that’s justifiable, but this has been way too frustrating of a ride to endure for some spiritual, metaphorical payoff. I wouldn’t mind if OUAT was like an acid trip, some out of body experience that won’t become clear until I’ve come back down to earth. But this show feels like less of a hallucinogenic high and more like someone giving me poor directions. Yeah, yeah. It’s the journey not the destination. Well on this journey the kids keep needing to stop to pee and screaming, “Are we there yet?!”

And that’s my masterful little segue into the actual car trip that starts the episode. After Regina’s “in case you didn’t know Regina was anxious about death” dream that spoon-fed us Regina’s current mental state, we pick up inside Emma’s car where she plans to take Henry far away from his wretched mother. Heart’s in the right place, but oh my could that backfire. Henry, for once, is the voice of reason. Well, his “reasons” involve saving everybody, but he knows his bio-mom is solving her problems by running and he jerks the wheel, veering them off the road. They aren’t hurt, but Emma gets the message and turns around.

Mary Margaret is rightfully pissed off that Emma would have left without saying goodbye to her “family.” She specifically calls Emma out for reverting, which I’m glad someone mentioned since I was fascinated by last week’s regression. Emma realizes she has to figure out what’s best for Henry so she does coffee with Dr. Hopper. He doesn’t definitively say that Henry’s better off with Emma versus Regina—I’m guessing his reluctance isn’t entirely genuine since he used this exact scenario as leverage for his job against Regina earlier in the season—but he’s certain this war of theirs can only be harmful to the kid’s psyche (especially since he already thinks I’m Jiminy Cricket and you’re….Jesus I guess).

After being rejected by Gold (ain’t no magic powerful enough to get me to help you win babe), Regina seeks her own magical ace in the hole to tip the scales. She enlists The Mad Hatter. I’ll give points to the writers for a creative way to summon him—a calling card attached to his daughter’s bicycle. Of course he watches her even though she doesn’t know who he is. Her request is that he use his hat, which she has been kept from him (for obvious reasons like extortion), to travel back to Fairy Tale Land to retrieve something for her. What does he get in return? His memory wiped. He’ll have no recollection of the daughter he lost. Again, I’m a sucker for psychology so this request of his intrigued me. When we get a glimpse into how much of a rouse their “happiness” was in the FTL, I’m mystified. When we’re back to broad battles of good vs. evil, curses with conditions, and fairy warfare (more on that next) they lose me.

Our fairyback this week consists of a failed rescue mission and the quintessential Snow White tale of the apple. Last we saw, Prince James had been captured by his adoptive father, King George. For his treason—refusing to marry King Midas’ daughter—he’ll be guillotined. But as the blade drops it turns to water. The EQ herself storms in and buys Charming off the king’s hands. She is using him as bait to lure Snow White. So there’s strike one against the rescue. I knew the whole time she’d fail! If she wanted Snow to come and get him, why would she make it so easy? Come on, people. Think with your brain. Strike two against the rescue mission, terrible castle CGI. Though I love seeing cute girls kick butt, whether it’s Ginnifer Goodwin or Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers (SO GOOD btw), I’m sold. But the castle backdrop was a laughingstock. And strike three? Fairies. Dear Lord, the fairies. When the whole dwarves yielding pickaxes and Snow White going MMA on the royal guards is negated by pretty fairies in a flying V dropping glitter bombs, it just robs a fight sequence of its cool factor INSTANTLY.

Once Snow arrives at the cell and discovers that Granny’s Admiral Ackbar impression was right (for those who don’t get the reference watch Star Wars for crying out loud, but the line is “It’s a trap!”), the Evil Queen interrupts their cross-magic mirror reunion with the most unnecessary line the show may have ever used, “I had to stop you. I have no interest in cleaning tongue marks off my mirror.” Ew, Regina. Why’d you have to go and get all nasty. Their love is pure. Why you gotta dirty it up like that? So EQ makes things awkward and then defines what a parlay is (who hasn’t seen at least ONE pirate movie) and they agree to meet where “it all began,” which is ominous before the commercial break speak for “where you saw me and my stable boy kissing.”

At their meeting, Regina guilts Snow about how she was the worst child ever because she couldn’t keep a goddamn secret. She shows her Daniel’s grave, blames her for her mother ripping out his heart (again, I think her beef is with mom) and tells her she can pay penance if she eats her poison apple. Skeptical, (because, well, it sounds like it might kill her), Snow asks why should she? Regina replies, because I’ll kill your boyfriend if you don’t. Damn, she’s sneaky! So Snow willingly eats the apple and turns into “a tomb to house all her regrets.” So, wannabe Shakespeare talk for “she’s in a coma.” This sets us up for the pilot where Charming kisses her awake (DISCLAIMER: This does not work on most coma patients).

Conveniently, when Mad Hatter opens the portal to retrieve the famed apple—which was so painfully telegraphed when he said, “Maybe I can reach through and grab something. But it has to be small enough to fit in my hand.” HAHAHA—it’s just been chewed on by Snow and has rolled downhill into the magical sinkhole they made. It was a nice touch that the magical catalyst they needed was the ring her stable boy proposed to her with, I must say. Then Regina bakes it into an apple turnover that she gives to Emma after they agree on a rough custody agreement. This leads into what I thought was the best scene because despite Henry’s atrocious overacting, it was the most grounded in reality. Emma tells Henry that she is leaving Storybrooke, but that she’ll visit and the kid is devastated. No matter the reason, separating a kid from love is just cruel and it got to me. Then Henry eyes the turnover and makes a desperate move for his mama. He bites into it to prove the curse is real and he drops to the floor. If Emma still has trouble buying into the book now, I think she’s swimming DEEP in denial river.

This final twist was sure to make many a viewer gasp, and I agree with it as an apt way to appeal to Emma’s issues with believing, whether in herself or in something she can’t figure out—after all she’s an expert in lie detection. Still, the mechanics that got us here are shoddy. The boundaries under which magic manifests in this world are a permeable membrane that allows in any deus ex machine it pleases. When a fleet of fairy bombers can take out a couple dozen knights, it’s no longer magical. Doubt and disbelief are what make those moments where we see the beyond all the more enchanting.When wicked curses start resembling contracts, it’s clear they’ve lost sight of why we love fairy tales. It’s about beating the odds, not rigging the game.

P.S. “Once Upon A Time,” I know it’s a season finale preview, but the “Requiem for a Dream” theme music was a little much. You already take this whole fairy tale, cross-dimesion epic too seriously, no need for more theatrics.

Robb Stark (Richard Madden) learns Winterfell has been taken by Theon Greyjoy, a man he once called brother.

A couple weeks ago when I reviewed “Garden of Bones,” I noted I was bummed we missed the brunt of another Robb battle. I recognize that as a TV show they don’t have Lord of the Rings money, but I so badly want to see Robb Stark slice and dice some Lannisters that I couldn’t help but sigh.

But I’ve figured out why those sequences can be skipped over. The romantic notion that faceless soldiers are rushing off to foreign lands and winning us our freedom by sacrificing their safety, shooting at whatever savage enemy threatens our way of life, is easy to root for, but it’s not warfare at its purest. Warfare is contained in intimate and brutal moments where the life men thought they knew is shattered along with his convictions, their heart melts as innocence and beauty are torn apart and he’s inspired to swear allegiance to whomever will allow them to seek revenge. Game of Thrones is so appropriately titled because it isn’t titled The War of Kings. Notice that besides Stannis’ shadow-stabbing his brother, no substantial movements toward attaining that coveted throne have been made.

We have four episodes left in the season and King’s Landing is untouched. However, on a small scale, assault after assault is derailing or emboldening the would-be rulers. And even more troubling for these commanders is the truth that much of their conquest depends on love and loyalty, a commodity in short supply. And then there’s the eternally undervalued assets: the women of Westeros. If this episode reminded us of anything, it’s that no matter how despicably these queens, princesses, and even wildings are treated, they govern the most vulnerable part of a knight’s armor, his heart.

Winterfell

Maester Luwin races against time to send out a messenger raven as Theon and his forces take Winterfell. His plan to draw out their men with a small raid on Torrhen’s Square worked splendidly. To be fair, the commander of these remaining Northern soldiers was like…a 10 year old cripple? So Theon is not exactly a military mastermind, just lucky his competition is weak. Regardless he storms into Bran’s bedroom and the sleepy lord pulls himself out of bed and refuses to surrender. Though there isn’t much choice and the kind-hearted boy wants to limit the casualties so he does concede. He asks his former “brother” a heartbreaking question, “Did you hate us the whole time?” It’s the perfect emotion for the boy to portray. Robb trusted him to enlist the Greyjoy fleet and they housed him for years treating him like one of their own. But as Balon Greyjoy has pointed out, Theon is not, and never will be, a Stark. His time in Winterfell was a condition of surrender, not a courtesy. Why should he feel like a traitor?

As Theon requested, Bran assembles his people in the courtyard. Osha tells the young lord that his dream has come true; the ocean has come to swallow this place. Ser Rodrik Cassel returns from Torrhen’s Square only to be captured immediately. When Rodrik sees Theon he berates the lad for this ungrateful and pitiful rebellion. He implores him to see that those who love him are there in Winterfell not at Pyke, but Theon’s mind is made up and he does not submit and assures the townspeople they will love him as they did Ned Stark. For comparing himself to his former and honorable lord, Rodrik spits in the face of his “conqueror.” Theon’s reaction is to throw him in jail, but his first mate demands Rodrik pay “the iron price” a.k.a execution.

Bran begs that cooler heads prevail, and the fear in Theon’s eyes reduces him to the forlorn child he really is. All he wanted was to belong to a house, and confronted with the choice he chooses the easy path of the sword. The brutal decision is reflected in the execution. You see how weak Theon is and how dull his sword is and you know this won’t be a clean hack. Rodrik’s last words are sure to haunt Theon: “Now you are truly lost.” He swings down on Rodrik’s neck a few times, and to finish off the beheading he kicks it off. This is one of the best cases I can make for the gratuitous violence. Although it’s repulsive, in this instance it shows how poorly suited Theon is for his position. He’s too green to be a slaughterer, but in this cruel world you will eventually be on one end of the sword, and the safest side is the least cleansing for the soul.

With the blood of his former protector on his hands, Theon enjoys his spoils. Osha, the wilding he helped capture last season pleads twice to serve her new lord. She first asks to be employed as a warrior, but Theon knows the risk of handing her a spear. So the second time around she bargains for her freedom by offering her body. We know from how he fondled his sister (he didn’t know it was her, to be fair) that Theon’s a dog, so this is a well-conceived play that he buys hook, line and sinker when she strips. Post-coitus, as he sleeps, Osha gets up and whisks Bran, little brother Rickon and Hodor out of the castle. I was legitimately shocked that she possessed such loyalty and the act immediately shot her up a few places to become one of my favorite Westerosi women. Arya and Margery still reign supreme, but she’s close with Daenerys, who I’ve become disappointed with and will discuss below.

North of the Wall

While our thrilling introduction of Winterfell’s siege sets a bleak and desperate tone, we get some hope on the horizon in the frigid north. Qhorin Halfhand leads Jon Snow into the Frostfangs mountain range hunting for wildlings. After all, beyond the wall you either kill while they sleep, or you might not wake up yourself. Halfhand further advises his new ranger to be naive and think his courage and heroic ambitions will save him. “Start thinking you know this place and it will kill you.” He also destroys his ideas of glory with another great line, “Your death will be a gift to those south of the wall…they won’t even know your name.”

They eventually descend upon one small group and Jon has one of them in his grasp. When he pulls off her hood he’s surprised to find a woman. He, of course, hesitates as she mocks him for never having killed a woman before. Halfhand orders him to execute her, a mirroring of Theon’s dilemma. As his superior and the others climb to the top, they leave Jon to his dirty work. Where Theon “succeeded” though, Jon fails. He intentionally misses her neck, and Ygritte scurries away. After a chase across the gorgeous frozen landscape, Jon tackles her. Now lost from the group Jon and his prisoner take shelter (well they just sort of plop on the ground) for the night.

The adorable Rose Leslie as Ygritte (who looks-wise is a hell of a challenger to Emilia Clarke’s Daenersy and Natalie Dormer’s Margery) suggests they’d be warmer if they snuggle. Jon reluctantly—though, come on, he perked up soon as she said that—agrees. The scene’s wonderful because I’ve been wondering with how good-looking Kit Harrington is if he was ever going to have a love interest. And how better to thaw a cold-hearted warrior than a woman’s warmth. When she wiggles a bit to get comfortable I wondered if Jon snipped at her because it excited him. I mean, she was kind of rubbing on him. Or maybe I’m just a pig, but he’s got to be thinking it, right? Didn’t Theon tease him for never having been with a woman? Well, you know he wants it, only a matter of time.

King’s Landing

Joffrey’s reign becomes even messier after a ceremony sending his sister, Myrcella, off to Dorne as Tyrion had arranged. Although, I’ll admit, I thought that engagement was all smoke and mirrors to uncover Pycelle’s treachery. Guess he was killing two messenger ravens with one arrow. During the proceedings, Cersei, playing up the bitter and scorned mother, threatens her imp brother by wishing that he one days knows love. She hopes that he finds a woman whom he cares for so deeply that he even sees her with his eyes closed. And then, once he’s found her, she’ll take her from him. Harsh as all hell, but it was a dick move on Tyrion’s part. Cersei doesn’t deserve kindness, but you’d imagine that besides her herself, her children are probably the only things that matter to the ice queen.

As the royalty is being escorted through the town square, his subjects mock Joffrey and one throws a cowpie (well let’s call it was it is, a piece of sh*t) serving as a catalyst for a full-on riot. Insulted, the fervid twerp barks at his guards to kill them all. The ensuing melee is equally as gruesome as Theon’s execution, especially when a high priest is torn limb from limb. In the scrum, Sansa Stark, Joffrey’s future queen, is displaced and run down by four peasants who intend to rape her when The Hound swoops in to rescue her, disposing of the savage subjects like it’s nothing.

Disgusted, Tyrion screams at his nephew for his foolishness. The peasants are upset because they are starving due to a war he started by decapitating Ned Stark. He is the only one to blame for the chaos. Joffrey whines like the runt he is that he can’t be spoken to that way. Tyrion delivers a typically gangster quip after he emphatically smacks the kid king upside the head: “And now I struck a king! Did my hand fall off?” What a badass mofo. And he’s absolutely right, the overwhelmed City Watch—who is mostly off fighting for Tywin—might fail to contain the damages because he couldn’t just wipe the sh*t off his face and move on. Joffrey doesn’t demand respect he cries for it like the baby he is. He’s so insecure about his own claim to the throne that he motivates others to take it from him because he rules so impulsively.

Harrenhal

Arya impresses Tywin Lannister with her capability and wit. He jokes that she should choose his next battle plan. Suddenly, Petyr Baelish pays him a visit and Arya cannot leave since she must serve wine, but Baelish after serving her father will surely recognize her face. She does the best she can to move swiftly, but from the quizzical look on Baelish’s face he must recognize her. Let’s hope if he has placed her he doesn’t intend to share this with Tywin. Though a part of me wonders how Tywin will react. He has treated her so kindly and they’ve developed a mutual respect, a bond of sorts. Would he spare her? Baelish’s business is probably on behalf of Margery Tyrell (I missed her so), possibly on his own, and interested in brokering an alliance between the Tyrells and the Lannisters to oppose the now inflated forces of Stannis Baratheon.

Later, a sneaky Arya, artfully dodges Tywin’s questions of how she learned to read. She answers that her father was a stonemason who taught her and himself and that loyalty killed him. At least the last part is true. Oh Arya, how awesome are you? Then when she baits him to discuss his father and upbringing she steals his battle plan off the table and runs off with it when he asks for a log for the fire. She runs into his knight Ser Amory Lorch who questions her about the paper. She scampers away and hurriedly finds Jaqen, who has two more people to kill for her. She insists he do it fast and just as Ser Lorch enters Tywin’s chamber he falls over with a dart in his neck. Two down, one to go. And Arya is once again resourceful, brilliant and the most badass little girl in the Seven Kingdoms. Maisie Williams, in an episode full of memorable acing, might still have the crown.

Robb Stark’s camp

Because the cosmos couldn’t have one one good-looking Stark brother with a lady friend and not the other, the nurse from two episodes ago, Talisa, appears again to charm Robb. I found their first encounter riveting given that she was basically insulting his leadership. She pointed out the needless bloodshed of war and the hypocrisy of it—that in fighting for peace you kill innocent men. But as mothers always do, Catelyn Stark arrives as he’s macking her. What a cockblock. Then she reminds him he’s betrothed, due to a debt they must repay. I’m thinking Robb gets out of it somehow because this one’s a keeper. And besides, he’s no Lannister, he doesn’t “always pay his debts.”

Robb also gets wind of the sacking of Winterfell by Theon. Considering he sent Theon to Pyke for recruiting purposes, he takes it personally. He commands a few hundred men led by Northern lord Roose Bolton’s bastard son Ramsay Snow—remember all bastards are named Snow in the North. All that Robb requires is that Theon’s brought back alive so he can ask him why, then kill him himself. Hell yeah, Robb. Show that adopted brother why he probably was right not to believe you were his family. Oh, wait.

Qarth

And lastly, Daenerys. Last season, she put in work. She seduced a Dothraki warlord, she watched as her brother was killed by molten gold, and she birthed some dragons. Not a bad few months. But as of lately, she hasn’t gotten very far. Well, she crossed the Red Waste and gained entry in Qarth on reputation and threats. But since last week, not much has happened. She denied Xaro (the richest man in Qarth) a marriage proposal, good for her. But she’s resorted to begging others now. Someone already offered you ships, you just had to marry him! You already married someone in your pursuit of the crown, why stop now? I guess she fell for Drogo, but now she wants to be principled? I’m not sure.

So she gets an audience with the eloquent and ruthless Spice King. She asks for a fleet of ships to cross the Narrow Sea. He says, I got a business to run, and I don’t blame him. It isn’t a solid investment. She has no army, and no real allies when you consider most people have forgotten the Targaryen name. Her passion is unrelenting and admirable, but all she has is the threat of dragons. She babbles some spiel about how her dreams come true (which sort of explains how she so confidently walked into fire in last season’s finale), but as a practical and self-made man, I can’t fault him. I love you, Daenerys darling, but you are grasping at straws here. Don’t let Jorah’s blinding feelings for you keep you from making a advantageous business transaction with Xaro. Then, as the episode ends with Xaro advising Daenerys that she’ll need less righteous means to attain such lofty goals, she discovers her guards and maidens have been murdered and her dragons stolen. Now, she really has nothing.

Many of those we want to succeed, and even those we wish ill of, are giving themselves away, hoping that their true freedom will come. In these grim times, like Brienne and Catelyn did last week, you must swear by something powerful to survive—even if if you don’t trust them or believe in what they stand for. Osha lets Theon have his way with her, the Tyrells are making deals with the deplorable Lannisters, and Daenerys might have to let go of her beliefs and succumb to Xaro so that she may leave Qarth at least with what she came with. And Arya’s problematic allegiances with Tywin and even Jaqen could easily combust if the truth comes to light. Robb and Jon have women who have ensnared their affections, but love can be the most deadly of loyalties. While I feel like by episode six they had built up more steam last season, there’s no doubt in my mind that with magic lingering over them and desperate alliances being forged, we could see a head-on collision of swords and shadows in the coming weeks.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

We are no stranger to the concept of making a video game based on a popular movie. Usually these are shoddy attempts to cash in on a film’s popularity and most of the time designers are under a deadline to produce the game while the movie is still relevant.  Some movies just weren’t meant for this. Here are 10 popular movies that could never work as video games.

10. Air Bud

You're like Wally Pipp, but it's a dog and not Lou Gehrig

This seems like a pretty standard basketball game, except you play as the kid who gets benched so the dog can play. The first level is training so you learn the controls and hone your player’s shooting percentage. However, when the season starts you are replaced by the dog. You never see any playing time again. The subsequent levels consist of making sure the dog has enough water at halftime, helping bury a dead hooker found in the Dog’s hotel room, and not killing yourself. (Spoiler Alert: You end up killing yourself.)

9. The Human Centipede

Interactive gaming for kids

Well, yeah…you get it.

8. Arrested Development

Paneer Napaneer: Game Engineer

This game has a lot of hype. But no one knows when it’s coming out. The best designers are rumored to have been hired for it. The gameplay is supposed to be incredible. Every now and then rumors float around the message board that the release will be any day now. But no preview or concept art has ever been seen. You and your friends talk about how awesome it will be when it does come out. Some of you are waiting in line at Gamestop right now.

7. Pearl Harbor

If only you could play as Cuba Gooding Jr.

You can play as either Ben Affleck’s or Josh Hartnett’s character. Either way, you will do nothing. You play most of the game through flashback. Even though a great military travesty takes place, you were too busy trying to beat the “Have sex with my presumed-dead- best- friend’s girlfriend” level. If you opted for Ben Affleck’s character, then you get the alternate, “Be absent for the middle of the movie,” level. Most of the effort in this game’s design went into being able to customize your character’s outfits with different Hawaiian shirts.

6. Mrs. Doubtfire

Flammable breasts included, Matthew Lawrence sold separately

This was an ambitious project and Sega Dreamcast’s last attempt at mainstream success. The player MUST wear every part of Robin Williams’ Mrs. Doubtfire costume that he wore in the movie. Each piece– teeth, boobs, and face– is wired into the console. The overall concept of the game is to convince children to love you through deception. This is why it was voted NAMBLA’s number one game in existence. Recalls went out immediately after several people collapsed from heat exhaustion and the sheer weight of the controls…two people were found dead. Because it’s a Sega Dreamcast the console runs on gasoline and you have to start it like a lawnmower.

5. Passion of the Christ

From the makers of "L. Ron Hubbard: The Seclusion Years"

This game has an imaginative back story. You are the son of god. You are THE ONE. Here are the controls; pressing A allows you to “turn the other cheek” and pressing B “gently pats someone on the head.” These are your only defense when the army comes looking for you. You get the shit kicked out of you for 40 minutes and don’t have any access to the controls at this point. At the end you die. A group of people think a sequel to this game will be made, however it is quite obvious that is not happening…ever. So you know, just stop, okay?

4. The King’s Speech

At least you get to scream "fuck" once

It’s like the American Idol game. It’s played in real time and over the course of 8 years. You try to mumble into the microphone to match the stutter notes on the screen. It is excruciatingly difficult. A lot of early game testers actually developed a stammer from playing it too much. Geoffrey Rush pops on screen now and again to verbally abuse you. When you are not stammering, you sit very still. The game has no save option so it must be finished it one sitting.

3. The Artist

Stop smirking, Frenchy.

This is like “Dance-Dance Revolution,” except there is no sound. All you can hear are your own fat feet slamming down on the mat.

2. Inception

Hold "LT" and press "B" to access your dreidel

This game starts out awesome. You have a gun. You have Joseph Gordon-Levitt by your side ready to throw down for you. HE’S READY FOR ANYTHING BRAH. HE’D DIE FOR YOU. You’re close to completing a challenge and, boom, your ex-wife shows up and fucks it all up. Then you wake up…or do you? You’ve had a wet dream. You try to explain it to everyone else. Juno is grossed out. The Indian guy won’t make eye contact with you. No one will, except JGL. “GIVE HIM A BREAK YOU FUCKS! IT HAPPENS.” He slaps Juno. You can never finish the game because this series of events keeps happening over and over again.

1. Titanic

Seriously Rose, how do you live with yourself?

It’s set up as a first person shooter from Jack’s point of view, except there are no guns, knives or weapons of any kind. Using the controls you navigate through the gross,  poor citizens of the ship. Ewww Irish people! Sometimes you are presented with the quest of drawing someone before they recognize your creepy behavior. Then you must dash back below deck to the mole people (the Irish.) You eat dinner,  then dance on a table. The main boss in this game is Billy Zane’s eyebrow. It is perfectly sculpted and maintained so that, had any poets survived on the Titanic, they would have written about it for years to come. It’s very exciting for 30 seconds and the very END of the game, but you can never win because your partner allows you to drown instead of moving over on what appeared to be a very spacious piece of wood.

Even with the many innovations in television over the past five years -  H.D., streaming, interactivity- an upcoming and bizarre invention known as Dog TV may be the most out-of-the-box development for the tube yet. Dog TV boasts that it will be the first cable network made exclusively (and scientifically) for man’s best friend.

Originally launched in February on local networks in San Diego, Dog TV was pushed mostly as a cure for canines with separation anxiety. With the backing of certified veterinarians and canine experts, Dog TV uses a series of techniques to make mentally and emotionally stimulating programs for dogs to watch while their masters are away.

“For years, pet owners have been leaving a television or radio on when they go out so their pets have company,” said Dr. Nick Dodman, director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at TuftsUniversity. “However, with analog television, dogs could only see a flickering screen. Dog TV uses HD screens in order to allow dogs to see the picture more clearly.”

Alterations have also made to color and sound of the programs to make them more accessible to dogs. “Dogs can see blue and yellow, but not red or green,” Dobman said, “so colors are altered for Dog TV, too. Also, because high frequency sounds can be very irritating to dogs, they’ve been removed, and music is written and tailored for their hearing.”

According to Dog TV’s website and press releases, the channel’s programs will be divided into three categories: Relaxation will reduce stress levels with calming music, sounds, and visuals; Stimulation will use footage of other animals and fast moving objects in order to stave off lethargic behavior; and Exposure “uses special sounds and visuals to help habituate the dog and make them more comfortable in their environment, by exposing them to different day-to-day stimuli.”

While the channel’s backer, P.T.V. Media, boasts the testimonials of several veterinary experts stating that Dog TV will help improve the lives of dogs across the country, some skeptics remain.

“I think a lot of this is to make us feel better as opposed to making the pet happier,” said Dr. Ann E. Hohenhaus, a veterinarian currently practicing in Manhattan. “Your pet needs adequate exercise and an interesting environment. You cannot just put on the TV and hope your dog is going to get better.”

Despite these objections, the projections for the channel’s success remain positive. After launching an online version in early April, the creators hope to start an add-free, paid cable channel internationally come late 2012 or early 2013.

As the Daily Mail stated, “If you figure more than 46 million U.S. households have dogs and 97% of U.S. homes have televisions, the future looks promising.”

French electroswing band Caravan Palace kicked off their European Summer Tour in Switzerland this month. The tour will run until August 26, finishing with a two-night finale in France.

After two years of hard work writing and recording, the band released their second album, “Panic”, in early March.  “Panic” is a lively album mixing together jazz, electropop and swing.

Caravan Palace first formed back in 2005 when guitarist Arnaud Vital, violinist Hugues Payen and double bass player Charles Delaporte met while creating a soundtrack for a silent pornographic film production company. Here they discovered their shared passion for electronic music.

The trio was soon would soon sought out by producer Loic Barrouk, who brought in electronics and trombone player DJ Antoine and lead singer Colotis Zoe to round out the group. Caravan Palace was now complete and made their live debut in 2007 at the Django Reinhardt Jazz Festival.

Their single “Dirty Side” has already been released and is available for download. The band is looking for their new album to be just as well received as their first self-titled album, which was released in 2008 and sold over 150,000 copies.

Now with their new tour underway and four shows under their belt, the quintet is gearing up for May 12 when they perform live at the Free Fest Troja in Prague.

Blast Magazine reached out to Caravan Palace’s Hugues Payen to talk about their tour and the upbeat and vibrant second album.

BLAST: What makes “Panic” different from your first album?

HUGHES PAYEN: For this album, we tried to find other ways to make our music. A lot of “electroswing” artists appeared this last four years, and we had [a] mind to show new aspects of that genre, experiment with things. Swing is not a monolithic kind of music, it offers a wide variety of tempo and moods, and we had to explore each one of them to extend our “playing field!”

BLAST Why choose the name “Panic”?:

HP: [If] you put us in a room with about 15 synths; you have . . . “Panic!” C
oncerning that name, it is also the title of a song in the album. A single word everyone can understand, worldwide, and a fabulous starting point for developing a whole universe. And it may refer to our unconscious fear towards the “second album syndrome”!

BLAST Your trademark is “electroswing.” How would you describe your sound to those who are not familiar with your music?:

HP: Basically, electroswing consists [of] mixing together swing music (from [the 1930s] to 50s) and modern electronic music. It results in a strange feeling of time traveling. When we began in 2005, there weren’t [many] artists to refer to, except G-Swing’s “Swing for Modern Clubbing”, Nicolas Repac’s “Swing Swing”, or “Get a Move On” from Mr Scruff. In Austria, another artist was working on the same material, Parov Stelar. And today, you can go and dance in electroswing parties in almost every big city in the world! It is an international network we are glad to be a part of!

BLAST: What is your single “Dirty Side” about?

HP: It is above all a wink to the jazz standard “On the Sunny Side of the Street”! In fact, we do not have a “literary” approach to the text. We expect it to swing, not to promote an idea, or not even to tell a story! Historically, swing is about love, jealousy, dance, singing, [and] not much [else]. Our singer, who writes the lyrics, is sometimes a little bit disappointed about that, but we ask her to be [as] concise [as] she can.

BLAST: How has the response to your new album been from your fans?

HP: We are aware that “Panic” is not the “easy” album some expected, but the real fans surely listened to it several times, and we are sure that they then discovered what the point of it is [and] what it has to offer. We are convinced that our fans prefer to enjoy a new album [rather] than something they already heard. Now is the time to play it, for music is never more accessible than on stage!!

BLAST: What is your creative process when writing your music? Do you all work together or is it individual?

HP: Both of it! We are four co-composers. Every song was born in one of our personal computers. Then, it is sent to the other members, and if everyone agrees, we keep on working on it. It’s quite a long process, because everyone has to “validate” the littlest detail! That’s why it is almost impossible for us to compose on tour for now!

BLAST: You recently kicked off your summer European tour. What is the best part about touring together?

HP: To make common memories! For better or for worse, we’re stuck in a bus, traveling together to unknown destinations, where we all meet, work and have fun with strangers, and we like it! For that tour, the technical team has changed, and we welcomed a new musician, Paul Marie, a talented vibraphonist and percussionist. It’s a great way to get to know each other, and sometimes, it’s surprising!

BLAST: Are there any venues you are especially looking forward to?

HP: In France, we’ll play at Jazz in Marciac, and Les Francofolies de La Rochelle, two important but very different festivals, where we already played and have especially good memories! Our European tour will surely be full of discoveries and surprises!

BLAST: What is the best part of being able to perform live and tour?

HP: Maybe to let the people hear our music “alive”, with real instruments and real bodies! As a project, nobody knows what we exactly look like, and when the public comes to our shows, they finally can “put faces” to the name, and maybe feel a little closer to our universe.

Adam Yauch, better known as “MCA” and 1/3 of the groundbreaking hip hop group the Beastie Boys, passed away today after battling cancer. He was 47.

Yauch had been undergoing treatment since 2009 following the discovery of a tumor in his salivary gland.

He co-founded the Beastie Boys with Mike “Mike D” Diamond and Adam “Ad-Rock” Horowitz in 1979.  The group’s first major-label effort,   Licensed to Ill, topped the Billboard 200 charts after its release in 1986, making it the first hip hop LP to do so. It featured a number of successful singles including “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party)”, “Brass Monkey”, and “No Sleep Til Brooklyn”.

The group’s success continued with later albums Paul’s Boutique, Check Your Head and Ill Communication. Their career boasts 40 million records sold, four #1 albums, three Grammys, and the MTV Video Vanguard Lifetime Achievement award.

Yauch himself had a hand in organizing the Tibetan Freedom Concerts through his work with the nonprofit Milarepa Fund. Between 1996 and 2003, these concerts – featuring acts like Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Rage Against the Machine –  raised money for Tibetan independence.

In 2002, he founded video production company Oscilloscope Laboratories, which would go on to release films like “We Need to Talk About Kevin” and the Banksy documentary “Exit Through the Gift Shop”. Yauch, under a pseudonym, directed many of the Beastie Boys’ music videos, including ”So Whatcha Want,” “Intergalactic,”  ”Ch-Check It Out.”

Beastie Boys were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland last month. Yauch was unable to attend, but band mates Ad-Rock and Mike D attended the ceremony and accepted the award, reading a letter that Yauch had written for the occasion.

Andy's (Chris Pratt) alter ego Burt Macklin is back and ready to neutralize a threat to Leslie's campaign.

Even after the rousing speech to end “The Debate” that inspired legions of Leslie supporters (and this reviewer), she’s still two points down. As I alluded to in my review of “Live Ammo,” the stakes have been raised for a show whose main draw is how much fun will be had on a weekly basis. There’s a sense that even the slightest slip-up could make this house of cards collapse.

Leslie is easily the only person in the race who’s fit for the position, but despite our affection for her and all her dearest advisors and staff, I’m unsure she’ll win. It’s not a matter of faith or distrust, it’s a reflection of the superb storytelling. Sitcoms have used tension to ensnare viewers since the format burst on the scene, but by and large, things work out for the best. I cannot think of a comedy that deliberately disappointed me (well “The Office” is trying real hard) by teasing something and then yanking out the tablecloth. Obstacles do a fantastic job of stalling so we spend episode upon episode waiting for the inevitable, but “Parks” is threatening more than any other comedy to not only put a twist on our hopes and expectations, but to go the route of gritty dramas and go drastic.

In some ways I want her to fail. That sort of devastation and falling-short might have more to tell us then her triumph ever could. Ultimately, my fanboy devotion hinges in on how much I love to hang with these people who have been so carefully crafted that they feel like my friends. If Leslie’s shenanigans are still staged in the parks department as opposed to city hall, I suspect it wouldn’t change a thing. Except it would change everything for how she perceives her work and what matters. And that’s an exciting possibility. And yet, a part of me would be irrationally angry if she lost. This show has me by the throat and it won’t let go. Only as my last breath escapes, will I know what I absolutely want, but by then will be too late.

Luckily the last moments will be joyous. Even as LesBen seems to be outsmarted at every turn by Jenn Barkley, they weasel their way out with charm and genuine kindness that isn’t advisable in any political script. In this penultimate episode of season four, it’s the final day of the campaign and nothing screams last shot like a tour bus with your face plastered on the side. Leslie visualizes her victory, but she doesn’t have the votes yet so she must parade around town and repeat her precisely-timed stump speech and shoot off t-shirt cannons to sway any fence-sitters. At one location, her preparations are tossed aside when she’s asked to comment on Nick Newport Sr., Bobby’s father. She slams the former Sweetums CEO for exploiting the townspeople and calls him a jerk, only to be informed by the same reporter that she was asking for comment on Nick Newport’s death. Now baffled, she’s unable to spin her out-of-context bashing and Jenn Barkley demands Leslie suspend all her campaign events to pay respect to the Newport family.

Off on a separate mission are Tom, Donna and Ron who need to negotiate with Bill Butler of BBB Auto Rental about lowering the price point for a fleet of vans to chauffeur seniors on voting day. His sudden price hike is a result of the Newport campaign offering $10,000 to park them somewhere so that Leslie can’t use them. Considering they expected a $900 charge, the new mark seems unmanageable. Mike O’Malley plays Bill Butler with just the right balance of snark and sinister (and he’s sans ball cap!). Interesting tidbit, O’Malley was second in the running for the role of Ron Swanson, so to see them play off each other is delightful. I can’t imagine anyone but Nick Offerman since he owns the part, but O’Malley’s sarcastic, stubborn and simple-minded “swagger” fits the Pawnee universe like a glove.

Chris and Andy both have sidebars that offer up the yucks. Chris Traeger is so self-aware about the mechanics of his body and psyche that he knows he’ll spiral into an abyss if he doesn’t keep moving. Without the stimulation of exercise, or some task, he’ll dwell on his tough year in love. April—who appears to be an bounty of advice lately—tries to play down his depression since the girls he’s sulking over weren’t the prizes he perceives them to be. For once, April’s newfound perspective is to no avail and Chris bikes furiously beside the tour bus to avoid death.

Andy’s plot is the polar opposite on the epic spectrum. His persona, FBI agent Burt Macklin returns to solve the case of the projectile pie. While Leslie is leaving an event, a pie struck Jerry in the face (because, of course), but Andy/Burt believes it was intended for the prospective councilwoman. He works tirelessly to investigate, even reenacting the altercation with Jerry. Poor guy has to be smushed several times in the face in super slow-mo to assist Andy. After staring at his board (which just has a picture of Leslie and a string leading from that photo to a picture of a pie) for hours he reassesses the video footage and determines that Leslie was too far from where the pie landed to be the target. The real objective was Ben!

Leslie continues the campaign visits (even though Ann suggested it was the wrong move) and at a reading of her children’s book Groffle The Awful Waffle, kids and reporters alike hound her about “Jerkgate” and Leslie reconsiders. She requests her friends line up by how much she trusts them—Jerry takes a step back believing he isn’t far enough away and Ben and Ann eye each other competitively as they inch closer. She decides to set up a public apology with Bobby Newport so she can hit the trail afterwards. But it blows up in their faces when they enter the gates to the Newport mega-mansion to find a memorial service being conducted, and during their attempts to turn around they run over Nick Newport…the portrait. The games and maneuvering never cease for Barkley who is not afraid to manipulate others (and she “likes” Leslie) to win. The most impressive feat might be how much Leslie has matured in the political sphere. She’s tripped up by Barkley twice in this episode alone and her composure is unflappable. Yes, there’s an air of panic, but it’s not responded to nonsensically or without forethought, which was her often her folly  in the parks department. Now we see less of a spaz freakout and more of a fiery spill that she’s so adept at cleaning up because she channels her personal appeal: the assuring smile, the perseverance and integrity.

In private, Leslie apologizes to Bobby who’s virtually bowling. There’s the spectacular sight gag where the camera zooms out to show that he’s playing video game bowling next to his personal bowling alley—because his avatar, “the little guy” waves at him. As only she can, Leslie issues a sincere mea culpa and even consoles Bobby, who ran only to impress his dad, with a story about of her own parent where she ran track to impress her mom and despite coming in dead last she was proud anyway. Bobby then uses that story to memorialize his dad which confounds Leslie. Then he makes up for it though by quasi-endorsing Leslie, telling the press to back off because she’s super cool. It’s expected of Bobby to undermine his own success, but I saw this not as ignorance, but a gracious response to Leslie’s lack of mudslinging.

Since Ron Swanson’s sit-down was no good, Donna sits at the exit of BBB Auto Rental. As Mr. Butler tries to leave he’s blocked and bumps her car. Now, if you know the show, Donna’s Mercedes is her baby. She adores that automobile more than most people. Most people. Her devotion to Leslie Knope surpasses even that bond, and she makes the ultimate sacrifice. Donna reverses and stomps on the gas colliding with Butler’s front bumper, destroying her baby’s back. Tom and Ron claim to be eyewitnesses who saw Butler rear-end her. Instead of an insurance settlement she asks for compensation in vans. Donna’s character is the least serviced of the bunch, but when she’s allowed to stretch out it’s almost always memorable.

Chris and Burt Macklin’s threads wrap up in separately rewarding ways. Jennifer Barkley takes advantage of a still moping Chris and propositions him for sex in one of Newport’s many bedrooms not occupied by a dead body. He starts to reject her, but she suggests the campaign is over and that’s she very good and suddenly he’s game. He was in a fragile state and actress Kathryn Hahn is hot, so saddle up cowboy. Though with her penchant for scheming she could easily be playing him. The question is what could she extract or how could she spin this? Or could this be Barkley finally throwing her hands up, ready to be human again instead of an ice machine? I suspect it’s the former, simply because the formula suggests that a roadblock besides the voting populace will manifest itself in the finale.

Burt Macklin was easily the most purely silly aspect of the episode. He confronts Sewage Joe (a frequent creeper at city hall who was fired earlier in the seeing for sending penis pics to female coworkers) about his attempted pie-ing, and it’s every bit the welcome break in the tense (though still amusing and whimsical as hell) political proceedings. As Andy brags about how he caught Joe before he could strike again, Joe unleashes his whipped cream fury anyway, smushing Ben square in the face. The perpetrator walks off in cuffs though, so Burt Macklin FBI nabs another one—sorta.

It’s hard to match the elation felt at the end of “The Debate,” which felt like every line was loaded with laughs, ready to erupt upon deploy. “Bus Tour” was more low-key in a way. Despite the frantic tone as the tour bus swerved to avoid any harmful debris thrown in the road by Jenn, we’re left off closer to the election, but we haven’t shifted much in attitude. I’m not any more secure about Leslie’s chances even after Bobby’s naive compliments. Even the supporting players have been stuck for a time. April over the course of the season has grown by leaps and bounds, but for a few weeks now she’s been doling out sterling advice free of charge. Chris in a love rut, Tom and Ann are just as donezo as last week and Ben’s still so smitten it’s stupid (but cute, obviously).

It makes sense they’re in limbo since the past few months they’ve been militantly championing their girl, but it’s noticeable how much I miss getting to just mess around without the pending election results hanging over their heads. The writing’s still sharp and I’d choose Pawnee as a destination for entertainment over most hot spots, but the foreplay, while tantalizing, is just a tease. Mentally, it’s made me insatiable for the payoff, but I’m almost as revved up for the the morning after. The faults are few and far between, but therein might lie the problem. “Parks and Rec” has hit such a rhythm that you anticipate satisfaction. But I’m ready to be wowed, and maybe even disheartened.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- Leslie imagining herself winning the election: “And I can see in the crowd, President Obama, smiling at me. He made it! I didn’t think he would come, but he made it! Hey buddy!”

- Burt Macklin’s codenames: His= Eagle 1; Ann=Been There Done That; April=Currently Doing That; Donna=It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris=If I Had to Pick a Dude; Ben=Eagle 2 (to which he says “Thank God!”)

- “Everybody says they care about the issues, but at the end of the day, all anyone really wants is clothing shot at them from a cannon.”

- “Anything else would be considered a classless move on par with spray-painting nipples on the Lincoln Memorial.”

- “The worst possible thing you could do is stop. Because if the campaign stops, we all stop, and stopping means certain death. Who wants a panini?”

- Donna: “Everyone will see your logo, which is…you all pressed up on some chick with huge cans.” Bill Butler: “Yeah, it was a hell of a day. People need to know about it.”

- “Quit ducking the waffle question, did Groffle use a boat of some kind?” “Are we to assume he swam across the syrup river?”

- Ben’s nerdy allusion to Star Wars: “It’s a trap!”

- “First of all, dark places are awesome.”

- “Now I get it, my dad and your mom are dicks!”

- Bill Butler: “What about you, Mr. A Man’s Word is Sacred?” Ron: “Well it is, but you’re an asshole.”

According to an early critic quoted in the latest trailer, “The Avengers” is the best superhero movie of all time.

My first thought was that saying anything is the “best of all time” is ridiculous. But then I thought about superhero movies as a genre- they have a spotty and flawed record at best. For every “Batman Begins” and “X-Men,” there’s a “Batman Forever” (also known as the Nippled Batman) or any version of the Hulk not involving Lou Ferrigno. Walking the delicate line between pleasing the masses, most of whom have never picked up a comic book in their lives, while trying not to incur the internet wrath of the fan-boys and girls is not something easily attained. As a result, the genre as a whole winds up having a split-personality: the movies are either candy-colored popcorn fare, flamboyant and silly, or high-brow noir films that end up seeming preachy and on-the-nose.

The more you think about it, the more you realize the bar isn’t all that high. And I say this as a fan.

I don’t know is “The Avengers” is the best superhero movie of all time, if only for the simple fact that I haven’t seen every superhero movie. But God help me if it isn’t the most fun, intricate and expertly executed blockbuster I’ve seen in a long, long time.

For the uninitiated: the Avengers are a selection of superheros from the Marvel canon, designed as a team, led by a spy named Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, being very Samuel L. Jackson-y). This film is the climax of a series of individual superhero movies, including “Iron Man,” (Downey) “Thor” (Chris Hemsworth) and “Captain America,” (Chris Evans) in an oddly endearing parallel to comic book narrative strategies. The movie follows the previously-named heroes, along with Bruce Banner/The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and former assassins Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), as they try to rid the world of demigod and megalomaniac with daddy issues Loki (Tom Hiddleston).

Let me count the ways that this could have been a complete disaster. It threatened to simply be a showcase of Robert Downey, Jr.’s considerable talents backed up with…well a bunch of good-looking guys with talents less considerable. It was in 3-D. It’s two-and-a-half hours long. It’s about aliens with giant robot-dragons.

But under the steady hand of Joss Whedon, who wrote and directed this movie with obvious passion and care, everything works together like a well-oiled machine. No, that’s not right. Because unlike a machine, there’s also feeling, and that exclusively Whedon sense of soul. Maybe it runs like a well-oiled machine with a newly discovered sense of humanity and free will. Whedon deftly sidesteps all the pitfalls that would sink others. A major weakness lies with Thor and his nemesis, who according to canon need to speak in stodgy, renaissance fair dialogue. Solution? Tony Stark just makes fun of it every time he speaks. Captain America is kind of old-fashioned; Whedon centers a beautiful speech about how old-fashioned heroism is something everyone could use.

The movie is character-driven, yet lavishes unbelievable detail on major action scenes, as beautiful as they are exhilarating. My personal favorite were the aforementioned robot-dragons, gorgeous masterpieces of steampunk-influenced effect.

Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner are the two newcomers to this party- Renner has a small but well-played role as archer Hawkeye, but Ruffalo pretty much steals the show as Banner. True to what I know of the original character, Banner is a soft-spoken nerd, confident only when he’s in a lab, and even then deferential. And in the most devastating moment in the movie, Banner changes into “the other guy,” and the last thing to leave before the monster takes over is the horrified, heartbroken look in his eyes.

There was perhaps no one better to tread that fine line between mainstream popularity and acolyte pandering than Whedon, an accomplished comic-book writer and fan-boy as well as a cinematic craftsman and master of genre storytelling. As in all his work, there is a beating heart in the middle of what could have been a soulless tent-pole movie, made for an easy buck and the extra two dollars for 3-D glasses. Does that make this the greatest superhero movie of all time? I’m not qualified to answer, but you can be sure I’ll be going to see it again. Maybe that will help me decide.

If you’re a “Supernatural” fan, you’ve already heard: the Winchester boys will be back again, riding into Season 8 this fall. But, if you’re a true Supernatural fan, you know that is not a good thing at all.

The show has gone on too long. Last month it was announced that co-show runner Sera Gamble will be stepping down, replaced by longtime writer Jeremy Carver. The original creator and show runner, Eric Kripke, left the show two seasons ago, though he’s claimed a consistent presence in the show’s production.

Now presumably both of these creators left to work on other projects, but lets cut through the smoke: they left because they are out of ideas. Kripke always claimed the show had a five season plan, and he left after that fifth season. And now after two sub-par seasons of the show where it seems its soul has pulled a Sam, Gamble is leaving too.

The show very clearly had a five year plan. Each year, for five seasons, the stakes were upped, the worldview expanded, and the show arguably got better and better (we’ll not delve into thoughts on Season 3). Whether you loved the ending to the shows main arc or not, it’s clear that it ended with season 5.

And yet the Winchester boys are still going. Still out there fighting the good fight, despite the fact that its internal logic demanded they would have perished by now. They’ve tried to one up its original story, but how do you one-up Satan? You don’t. (It’s also miscast..another story)

So, yay, “Supernatural” is coming back. If you’re a diehard fan–and if you’re reading this, you are–but grow up, and admit it to yourself: this dance has gone on a little too long.

“Game of Thrones” is the story of a power struggle in a feudal society, filled with political intrigue, betrayal, violence, moral ambiguity, and character drama.

You wouldn’t know this if you’d read the vast majority of the media feedback on the show, however.

No, if all you knew about “Game of Thrones” came from reviews and entertainment news outlets, you would think that “Game of Thrones” is about boobs. Lots and lots of boobs.

Boobs.

Boobs on naked women. Boobs on semi-naked women. Boobs on women having sex. Boobs on women getting dressed. Boobs on women getting undressed. Boobs.

Tired of that topic yet? Yeah, exactly. That’s probably how a“Game of Thrones” fan reading reviews of the show feels too: entertainment news and the blogosphere can’t seem to keep from hyper-focusing on the show’s ample nudity and sex.

And believe you me: There is a lot of nudity and sex in “Game of Thrones.”

No one is disputing that. The problem is that people are choosing to focus on the mature content at the expense of the show’s other redeeming qualities. Worse still, the nudity and sex is being touted as a hugely offensive, negative part of the show… instead of, say, the equally humongous amounts of graphic violence.

According to entertainment news, we are apparently living in a world where suggestiveness is way, way worse than violence and abuse. It’s a world where a scene in which Margaery Tyrell willingly disrobes (boobs!) is so awful it must be commented upon incessantly, but the sight of Eddard Stark’s decapitated head stuck on a pike is not worth mentioning.

This discrepancy has become so obvious that 9Gag.com has created a chart documenting the amount of nudity per episode. A chart depicting deaths or violent acts, however, has yet to be created. Apparently it isn’t as worth talking about as all of the boobs.

The subject of nakedness in “Game of Thrones” has become so pervasive that reviewers are taking special note of when it’s not included in an episode, as in this article from Wired. It’s a subject for intense journalistic discourse, requiring both opponents and defenders, and it’s been parodied by SNL.

Leading lady Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys Targaryen, can’t even get through a single interview or profile without someone asking her about what she thinks of being unclothed so often on the show. Exhibits A, B, and C. Of less note, apparently, is her character’s emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with her brother, or the violence done on her behalf and by her orders.

Last year we covered NYT reporter Ginia Bellafonte’s woefully condescending and point-missing early review of “Game of Thrones,” in which she, too, commented on the provocativeness as a point against the show. Her point seemed to be that the target demographic was obsessed with boobs, yet she herself failed to note what the story is actually about.

If anyone is “obsessed” with boobs, it’s not the audience: it’s the apparently puritanical reviewers.

The trend of clutching one’s journalistic pearls over the sight of nudity in “Game of Thrones” is disturbing on a number of levels.

First, sex and nudity are a pretty natural part of life and relationships, a fact that shouldn’t shock most of the TV-viewing public. Beheadings, impalings, torture, executions, brutal maiming, fights to the death, and brawls on the other hand, are not part of daily life, nor should they be. The fact that the graphic violence of “Game of Thrones” is somehow more acceptable to reviewers and bloggers than the sight of Daenerys Targaryen’s breasts is rather… well, backward.

It’s hypocritical and frankly weird that this aspect of “Game of Thrones” has incited a more negative reaction than the violence and death. Not that there’s anything wrong with the violence in “Game of Thrones,” either, it’s just… where are our priorities?

If we’re waving our arms around in outrage over nudity, shouting “Think of the children!”, shouldn’t we be more upset by the exposure to grisly deaths and violence than the very normal and benign sight of the naked human body?

It probably says much more about our society’s outlook on human sexuality­­—and female sexuality, in particular—than it does about the show’s “gratuitous” use of it.

Perhaps the show’s focus on sexuality matter of taste. After all, much of it is plot-related, and the show would suffer for its exclusion. The very first episode of season one ends with a young child being hurled from a tower after peering in on an incestuous (twincestuous?), adulterous coupling that he was never meant to see. That scene shapes the beginning of the conflict between two major houses, and reveals the secret that will eventually start a war.

Then again, there’s also Esme Bianco’s Ros, a character invented for the show (she doesn’t appear in the books, though she does replace a few prostitutes from the novels) as a vehicle of exposition. Purists might say that the busty redhead (who spends a great deal of time in her birthday suit) is not essential to the plot, and is an unnecessary distraction, even if she clarifies plot points through dialogue.

Matters of personal taste aside: is there truly anything wrong with including salacious material in the show, whether or not it was explicitly shown or even implied in the books?

No. There’s not. There’s really not, and viewers or reviewers who are offended might just need to kindly grow the hell up.

With The Avengers opening this week with its epic case of superheroes, we felt it was the right time to break down the best ever. So here, without further delay, is our list of the top 10 Avengers.

10. Wonder Man

A risky pick for number 10 on the list given his alternate statuses as a villain, a hero, an actor, and many times just not around. But his run during Kurt Busiek and George Perez late 90s relaunch solidified his role as a great, and important, member of the Avengers.

9. Scarlet Witch

Wanda Maximoff is slightly controversial. Daughter of Magneto, she, like her brother Quicksilver, were originally villains before being given a second chance, along with Hawkeye a few issues into the original Avengers run. For much of the series history, she was alternately an extra, and a central character with her love stories between the Vision and Wonder Man. It wasn’t until Kurt Busiek’s run in the late 90s/early 2000s that her character and her powers were fleshed out, that Wanda’s role in the Avengers was cemented and made important. While her role was later reverted to unwilling villain/mutant killer/eradicator status by Brian Michael Bendis, we’ll choose to overlook that.

8. Warbird/Captain Marvel/Ms. Marvel/Binary

Poor Ms. Marvel. She’s always trying to prove she belongs. A member of the air force, she was a soldier bound by duty, before an accident with Kree technology gave her incredible super powers. As she sought the limelight and credit the being a hero brought, she found herself felled by none other than Rogue of the X-Men, who took a great deal of her powers from Ms. Marvel

7. Vision

A robot created by Ultron, Vision is somewhat of a grandchild of Hank Pym, and was designed to combat against the Avengers. He later rebelled against his creator and joined the team he was built to destroy. For much of his time in the Avengers, he has struggled with his robot exterior and his semi-human emotions, trying to find his true purpose in the world. For a time, he was married to the Scarlett Witch and even fathered two (magically created, thus not real) children. He’s been a mainstay in the Avengers for much of its history, and is somewhat the Martian Manhunter of the crew.

6. Ant-Man/Giant Man/Yellow Jacket

One of the founding members of the Avengers, Hank Pym has had a difficult run. His true north is Janet Pym, the Wasp, and he’s lost her and found her multiple times. Pym has suffered from multiple personality disorder, which has led to multiple identities and multiple superheroes, none worse for his psyche than the Yellowjacket character, who ultimately abused Janet Pym and ended their marriage. He also created Ultron, a robot that has tormented the Avengers for several decades. Still, Pym is dedicated to fighting his inner demons and righting his wrongs, and his genius status has helped thwart more than a fair share of near world-ending events.

5. The Wasp

Janet Pym may be small, and relatively powerless, but you have to give her credit: She named the Avengers! It was her idea at the end of Avengers #1 to call the group that, and she, like her husband, has been part of the group for most of its history. As the series moved past its beginnings, writers sought to move past her flighty personality and dedication to fashion, giving her some dark moments, and proving that she could emerge as a fighter. For many times, she’s even been the leader of the Avengers, and looked to for valuable leadership qualities in times of crisis.

4. Hawkeye

Hawkeye is very poorly fleshed out in the film, despite being pretty badass. His film counterpart is more of a depiction of the Ultimates Hawkeye than the original comic book title, where Hawkeye was once a thief given a chance at redemption first by Iron Man, then by Captain America with a chance to join the Avengers. Since then, he’s been a mainstay in the group for most of its history, often time providing either comic relief, or being an antagonist to the rest of the group. Driven by a strict moral code, he’s willing to go to blows when he feels the Avengers have lost sight of what’s best.

3. Thor

Thor, like Captain America, may have consistently had their own titles, but their true roles in Marvel Comics were to participate in the Avengers. Thor is the Superman of the bunch, but this time he also adds some depth in his observation of the human race that Superman never does. He’s foreign, he’s a little old fashioned. He’s a warrior, one sometimes prone to fulfilling base desires, but his character is vital to the dynamic of the Avengers. His presence in the series has been sorely missed in the last decade.

2. Iron Man

He may be the most fleshed out of the Avengers in the film series, but in the comic books, he goes no higher than #2. But it’s close. Tony Stark funds the Avengers, provides the mansion and later tower they work out of, and is one of the resident geniuses to hep solve the threats, be it technological, alien, supernatural or other. He is unquestionably a member of the Marvel equivalent to DC’s big 3.

1. Captain America

How can you not say that Captain America is the greatest Avenger? It’s a common misconception that Cap was a founding member of the Avengers, but he instead joined the crew in the series fourth issue, replacing the outgoing Hulk. Since then, he’s been the leader, the hero, and potentially the heart of the gang. He’s the virtue of the group, and has helped to anchor it through tough times, such as the Civil War storyline.

Profiles in History, “the world’s largest auctioneer of original Hollywood memorabilia”, announced yesterday that it will offer an as-yet unmatched collection of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory memorabilia for auction this July.

These props are of the last few remaining from the film’s production: the day after shooting wrapped, “Cabaret” began shooting on the same location, and the majority of the Wonka props were discarded.

The lot includes the iconic purple-jacket costume worn by Gene Wilder as Wonka in the 1971 film, expected to fetch $80,000 – $120,000.

Also up for grabs are three items from the personal collection of Julie Dawn Cole, who played Veruca Salt. A screen-used “everlasting gobstopper”, one of only two known to exist, comes with a notarized letter written by Ms. Cole describing its significance in the film. A golden egg, also including a notarized letter, used during one of the film’s musical numbers, is also included. Last, but not least, is an original Golden Ticket, found by Salt’s father and presented to her in the film.

Other items include a prop “Scrumdidlyumptious bar” from the collection of actor Peter Ostrum, who played Charlie Bucket, expected to fetch $3,000 – $5,000; a collection of five prop Wonka chocolate bars; and a screen-worn Oompa Loompa costume – the only complete costume of the kind known to exist.

More details on the auction are expected to be released soon.

Local band Cowgill has announced plans to release side one of their debut album “Planted” on May 17, holding a “Release Party” performance at the Middle East Upstairs in Cambridge.

Cowgill – vocalist/guitarist Paul Cowgill, Dan Weissman on trumpet and mandolin, keyboardist and trombone player Mike Truskowski, violinist Leeann Hacket, bassist Ryan Rivers, and drummer Joe Pess – combines indie rock, folk rock and a little bit of pop to create a unique sound all their own, described as a mash-up of Fleet Foxes, The Shins, and The Beatles.

The sextet came together in 2011 through a series of events where one member stumbled upon another. “I’ve lived with Mike for three years now and I met Dan through a friend of a friend,” recalls Cowgill. “We found our violinist on Craigslist and she knew the bassist who went to college with our new drummer.” The sextet has been working on material for their new album ever since.

Cowgillw’s members each have a unique background. Hacket, for example, is a Music Therapist for the elderly and blind children, while Rivers and Pess attend Berklee College of Music. Weissman is an architecture and design student who has always been involved in music. Ultimately it is music, and the influence that it has on their lives, that ties them all together.

Earlier this year they released their first single, “Plans”, and are happy with the response from their fan base. “I think it’s been really good; we’re new to this.  It’s just funny and hard because you don’t really have anything to compare it too,” says  We’ll know for sure once the whole [album] comes out,” says Paul. They would follow it with the release of their second single “Extra Gravity” on April 19^th.

With the release of the two singles, Cowgill aims to show off their eclectic sound and break the rigid lines of music genres.

“We are trying to straddle the line between indie and folk,” Cowgill explains. “…We’re really focused on cool lyrics and interesting structure like indie rock, but make it less mopey and take you through interesting soundscapes.”

They set themselves apart by incorporating a full drum set and brass section, unusual in the folk rock scene.  Some even consider Cowgill, with their lush sound,  to be more of a baroque pop band.

“When you just say indie and folk it doesn’t cover that we have a pop influence –  but not like a Katy Perry, Top 40 kind of thing,” Cowgill explains.  “The goal of our music is to make people happy, not depressed.”

Before the band considers their sound, they look into lyrics and structure.  “Usually I make up the structure of the chord changes and spend a few days thinking about mood, etc.,” explains Cowgill. “Then I bring it to the band and we think about arrangement together.”

Like the lyrics and composition of their songs, the title of their debut album also has a lot of meaning. “We spent a while thinking about that.  ‘Planted’ is one of the lyrics from the fourth song of the album called ‘Red Carpet’,” says Cowgill. “It had a lot of word play, which fits with the album. I think it’s a cool title for a debut album because the goal here is to break free of the rooted life style that we’re in.”

With their album production in full swing, the band plans to finish recording by September or October of this year.  In the meantime, the band is doing all they can to get their name out there. “We are trying to build up a name for ourselves in the local market but our goals are national and international even though it’s pretty early on,” says Cowgill.

Of their live show, Cowgill says “It’s kind of all over the place. Some things that will come through in our live shows are our crazy use of horns, and covering songs like Paranoid Android from Radiohead.”

Cowgill is trying to plan a three-week tour in August and will be looking to their growing fan base for support. Starting on May 8, fans can create and promote a campaign on www.gigfunder.com for Cowgill to earn monetary support for a tour.

Academy Award winner Geoffrey Fletcher is creating new opportunities for aspiring filmmakers. Fletcher, who won an Oscar for “Best Adapted Screenplay” for the feature film Precious, is working with Bombay Sapphire and the Tribeca Film Festival on a new project: The Bombay Sapphire Imagination Series Short Filmmakers Competition.

The competition, announced last Thursday, will allow aspiring to use their imaginations, and a screenplay written by Fletcher, to create their own interpretation of a story.  All participants can view the script at www.imaginationseries.com and begin submitting their five-minute films starting May 8.

The screenplay is very open-ended, using no-name characters and simplistic dialogue that filmmakers can add to as they see fit.  “With this Imagination Series, budding filmmakers really have a great deal of room to really take the story in so many directions,” explains Fletcher. The filmmaker the choice of genre, time period, style and production technique – even whether or not the setting takes place on planet Earth!

“There is a great deal of talent in the world but not enough opportunity,” says Fletcher. “Everybody has imagination but it is rare that it’s fully engaged. I think that there are wonderful things that can come from that, and wonderful things that can extend into personal life.”

The Tribeca Film Festival has chosen a panel (including Fletcher himself) to select five winners from the entries.  The five that reach the winners’ circle will then be given the chance to direct and produce their own feature length version of their submission and premiere it in 2013.

For Fletcher, filmmaking and writing are passions, not just efforts to earn recognition. “It isn’t just the idea of making a film, it’s the fulfillment that can come from self expression,” he says.

At the age of 12 he started to make short films, using his toys, and then moved on to bigger and even more creative things.

After graduating from Harvard University, he continued his education studying film at New York University’s Tisch School of Arts. Fletcher soon became a buzz-worthy student when his film, “Magic Markers”, won the Directors Guild of America Student Film Award and was featured at the Sundance Film Festival.

In 2006 he was asked to adapt a screenplay for the novel “Push”, by Sapphire, which turned in to the award-winning film “Precious”.  With this film, among other accolades, Fletcher became African American to win an Academy Award for writing.

Even while promoting the Imagination Project, Fletcher is an adjunct film professor at Columbia University and New York University’s Tisch School of Arts. He is also making his feature film directorial debut with “Violet & Daisy,” to be released later this year.

Through his career, he has realized that creativity distinguishes great filmmakers from others.  The status of “budding filmmaker” comes with a rather wilted film budget, but Fletcher stresses that it is talent that will bring success in this competition.

“What’s priceless is imagination,” he says. “Imagination is a big part of it and inspiration is the other. You can take so many details big and small that add up to an immersive experience for the viewer.”

He stresses that the competition is looking for films and storylines that have an impact not only on the audience but the filmmakers themselves.

“I hope that they will be inspired to imagine even more things.  For those who aren’t budding filmmakers, I hope they experience the profound and positive impact that imagination can have in their lives.”

Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Cece (Hannah Simone) share a tender moment at a nursing home.

The “backslide” is a classic concept. When people’s loneliness gets the best of them they begin to regress. Some make late night calls to their most recent exes (or the abominable “drunk text”), or they might stoop so low as to booty call an even older ex who they can count on to fill their vulnerable void. Jess’ slip down the regretful slide begins whimsically with her sulking in bed to Joni Mitchell’s “The River.”

Schmidt, Winston and Cece all try to gingerly lift her sprits for the selfish reason that they don’t want to hear the GD song anymore. When Cece finally does get rid of her funk, Nick and Caroline protest when she cuts the music since Caroline just developed a kooky dance routine ripe with white-girl crumping* and pathetic Nick beat-boxing. It’s a quiet triumph of a cold open—not burst-out-laughing, but a delightful way to set the tone of shame that will ensue.

* Actually, it kind of reminded me of this gem, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model Kate Upton grooving in a bikini. ENJOY!

And honestly, that’s what this episode is: a shame-filled insult fest and kick in the pants for the audience and characters alike. It’s a chance to reminisce on how far they have come together, but it’s a fragile balance they’ve achieved. The loft is full of lost and lonely souls. For Winston and Schmidt the scale has been skewed because they’ve found stability (though Winston seems TOO happy and secure). In Nick and Jess’ cases both are masking the sting of successive failures, and by episode’s end one chooses not to settle, while they other hides behind lies he tells himself that even Past Nick scoffs at.

Since the Fancyman saga, there hasn’t been many missteps. Like joke jets whizzing by overhead, tonight you could miss all the wonderful material if you are watching closely. The only missiles fired that weren’t direct hits were when they took their finger off the trigger to deliver some romantic advice that felt rushed and simplified when Jess and Nick’s wounds can’t be treated by platitudes.

Their tailspins begin at the bar where Nick’s serving Nick Miller Manhattans—straight bourbon in a plastic cup—and Caroline appears as his doting sweetheart. The whole episode seems to harken back to forever ago when Jess was off-the-wall and she was the lightning rod that shook up the loft’s status quo. Again, a fitting tribute to the strides this show has made in finding itself. What also happened back then was Nick’s devastation when Caroline ripped out his heart. Why would he want to revisit that? He needs so badly for her to be different he’s willed it true. Then again, maybe this is the optimist in me, but perhaps she has changed, thought every TV instinct tells me nuh-uh.

Schmidt and Winston see “backslider” written all over Jess and and patrol closely to ensure she doesn’t crawl back to Russell. But when a frumpily-clad Cece (her hotness must be dialed down while his genitals recover) enters the bar, Schmidt’s distracted just enough for Jess to place a longing phone call. Though it isn’t to whom you would suspect. Paul Genzlinger a.k.a Justin Long. The ugly crier himself wakes up spooning with Jess and when she sees him off Schmidt and Winston rattle off the nicknames: Mercedes Genz, Genzel Washington, The Genz of the World as We Know It, and Genz and Genzils. Jess’ body language says this was definitely a white flag waved in desperation, but her booty call comes back to bite her when Paul reveals he has a steady. The Asian Jess, Jen.

As Paul is bawling over his betrayal, Jen walks in—chunky glasses, flowery dress, wavy hair, the works—and Jess improvises well saying they were discussing the electoral college. Tears flowing, Paul whimpers “It seems so unfair. Votes don’t mean as much!” And while they’re in the clear then, Jess knows they can’t keep the secret, especially since Paul insists she’s his soulmate. So in school the next day, Jess assists Paul in coming clean. Jen ends up crying in just as ugly a fashion as Paul, but somehow he gains her forgiveness, not without Jess’ help. She levels with Jen that it sucks to be cheated on, but forgiveness is easier when you know you’re meant to be with someone. I do NOT prescribe to that theory and know from experience that the distrust will always be festering inside, but Jess gets to shine with her slapstick (the writers have found her sweet spot) by putting Paul through the emotions of a proposal. Terrible timing in my opinion, and she should reject him hard, but that wouldn’t have led Jess to her epiphany, I suppose.

The tertiary plot involving Schmidt and Cece succeeded where Nick and Jess’ didn’t, inserting sweetness where a punchline had been. Nick’s pathetic steps backward have been used brilliantly for weeks, and when the situation becomes serious it strikes me more suddenly than Schmece’s shift. Schmidt’s shattered love muscle was great for a sight gag, and here his pain is milked for more laughs with him staving off erections as best he can. While ugly-ing up Cece had mixed results, taking a trip to a nursing home works wonders. There, Cece’s grandmother threatens to let herself die if he hurts her granddaughter so that she can haunt him and he gets some tips on how to build a relationship with a beautiful woman from comedy vet Jack Carter! What wisdom does he share? Viagra. Helps him get up in the morning.

But the icing on this sugary sweet cake of a scene is when Cece looks proudly at Schmidt schmoozing with the seniors and decides she wants more. We knew the desire was buried inside her, but to see Schmidt reap the rewards is just as rewarding for us. However, it wouldn’t be a tender moment for Schmidt if it wasn’t undercut somehow. He passes out from the pain of emotional intimacy…because it gives him a massive hard-on. Her honesty with him makes him burst down there, and somehow, as vulgar as that sounds, for Schmidt that’s how he expresses his love. And if the writers hadn’t so splendidly illustrated him till now, we may not have appreciated that payoff as much. It’s strangely satisfying to see him writhe and contort his face because we know it means some kind of twisted victory.

Nick descends further into his rewind when Caroline asks Nick to move in with her. Despite the fact that Nick is only discovering now that she’s three years older than he is (she’s a impetuous 33), he halfheartedly consents: “You’re not not making sense.” Therefore, when Nick agrees to this rash decision Winston makes some weird, insanely funny bird-call, initiating a protocol that involves a DVD Nick made in case he let Caroline back into his life. The idea of a video intervention for yourself has been done by “Parks and Recreation” when Ron Swanson got back with Tammy, but this had its own signature flavor including a poem he had Schmidt stash until this day. It’s contents had me cackling until I coughed: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day. No, a summer’s day is not a bitch.” So simple, so effective. The visual of a caveman-looking Nick addressing his future self with a jar filled with his tears slayed me, proving that the episode had many bombs to drop and each destroyed more than the last.

Poor Winston was like a pinata this week, beaten with a barrage of insults from his roommates. The escalation of his earring proved to me though that Winston was a worthy target, not easily worn down. He gets gaudier and gaudier going from stud to hoop to full-on peacock feather and takes it all in stride. But the real victim is Jess. Without saying it blatantly, she professes her “affections” for Nick. She shares her Paul-inspired perspective: “If you really love someone, it’s simple.” Essentially, she explains what we all know, even if Nick is clicking with Caroline now, the person he deserves will be good to him from the beginning. She veers into silliness by saying she’ll shut up that Tom Waits voice in his head that tells him he’s a failure, doing a sort-of accurate impression, when he deflates her with the news that he’s moving in with Caroline.

Though the transitional phases of their relationship haven’t been executed as well as with Schmidt and Cece I was still sad for her, the emotional grab worked mostly. But Justin Long’s return feels cheap if it only offers some half-assed, Facebook status of a saying about love. Though it did add to that full circle feel, a pat on the back to this first season’s accomplishments. That self-congratulations is welcome, however, when you consider how this episode solidified New Girl as a wrecking ball ready to demolish on a nightly basis with its flurry of wit. By making the narrowing down of L.O.L.Ls a difficult task, “Backslide” earns my forgiveness, though it didn’t need to try so hard—the #backslider pop-up and the catch-your-breath ending were unnecessary—since I’ve adored these friends for a while.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- Jess: “Why is she dressed up like a women’s studies major?” Schmidt: “It’s precautionary, just until my junk heals.”

- “Caroline’s way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me that I’m a failure and that I look bad in hats.”

- Schmidt: “When is it coming out?” Winston: “The earring?” Schmidt: “No, the smooth jazz album you’re dropping.”

- “I’m sorry you know how Monica Lewinsky feels!”

- Schmidt: “I’m gonna miss you Winston.” Winston: “What do you mean?” Schmidt: “When your caravan moves on to the next village.”

- Nick: “How’d the audition go?” Winston: “What?” Nick: “For the Disney pirate movie. Oh and Mr. T called. He wants to punch you because that earring looks stupid.”

- “Do you wanna dress like an unsponsored professional skateboarder for the rest of your life?”

- “For someone with a soulmate, you sure did have sex with me.”

- Winston: “So you and Cece are staying away from each other?” Schmidt: “Only until my penis stops looking like a knotted wizard’s staff.”

- Awesome allusion to “Happy Endings,” the show Damon Wayans Jr. went back to instead of playing Coach (the original black guy), by Past Nick to Future Nick: “Be nice to Coach or he’ll go hang with some other white people.”

Geppetto (Tony Amendola) cradles his son, Pinocchio, after he's transformed from a puppet into a real boy.

Emma is the only thing standing in the way of happily ever after. All she has to do is believe in love, in magic, and in herself, and all that was lost will be returned. So August should be able to provide that faith, right? I mean, he’s clearly a charmer with a rad bike and a way with words. Why wouldn’t she become inspired to take on the Evil Queen, save her son, and by breaking the curse, reassemble a once thriving land? Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. And while some fans are surely screaming at their screens in frustration, this hitch in the plan is the best twist Kitsis/Horowitz have provided so far.

I know I’ve sounded like a broken record, or the boy who cried “LOST,” but the resemblance is uncanny after last night’s episode. Faith vs. Reason was the central conflict that guided the contentious relationship between LOST’s main two protagonists, Jack and Locke. That same dichotomy has been tapped into here. Except the battle between philosophies is an internal struggle for Emma. What if like LOST, this show isn’t about the answers. Maybe it’s less about the happily ever after and more about the question, what is happiness? Emma denies her destiny as August pleads for her to see what’s right in front of her. He’s proven to her that her whole life has led to this moment where she can save everyone from misery. And admirably, the writers stick to their character’s guns and say, “Well that’s too much of a burden, I don’t want that.”

So the question then becomes, how will they be saved if not by the savior? God damn, it’s got the same religious overtones LOST did too! LOST SPOILER ALERT! Lost ends with all of the Flight 815ers exiting a church into a blinding light that represents the after life. Could the trajectory of OUAT lead to the resurrection of the chosen one? I don’t think the parallels are arbitrary, either. The connection goes deeper than just shared writers. There’s LOST references and allusions in nearly every episode, and this was no exception. When August mentions the day the clocks start moving again, the day he started having shooting pains in his leg, what time was it? 8:15 A.M. Flight 815, people? And when August (a.k.a Pinocchio, which I’ll get back to) falls out of the tree into a new world without magic, a plane flies overhead. Coincidence? Even if the writers are screwing with us or just paying homage, the legacy of that show looms large here as the emphasis seems to be steering towards questions and not answers.

But it wasn’t only my empty wishes for a LOST reincarnation that made this easily one of the top three episodes of the series, but a fairyback that reminded me why this technique can be so effective. When the writers use the familiarity with the tales to their advantage it often allows them some creative space to beef up these characters. August and Geppetto owned this episode with their emotionally resonant reunion as well as the ways in which their selfishness altered the future irrevocably.

We’re transported to the tail-end of Pinocchio’s legend where he and Geppetto are evading the monstrous whale. Pinocchio pleads with Geppetto to use their life saver to save himself. He’ll be fine since he’s wooden and can float. The scene incorporates the best CGI I’ve seen on this show, and I can only speculate that the viewership has something to do with that. The quality was cinematic and it’s timed with the recent declaration of the Nielsen ratings—OUAT is the most watched new drama.Washed up on shore, Geppetto sees an unconscious Pinocchio and cries for his revival. The Blue Fairy descends upon them and grants his wish by turning Pinocchio into a real boy. The only condition of his boyhood is to always be brave, truthful and unselfish. These terms create a underlying tension in the real world since this must be involved in August’s sickness.

In the real world, Emma’s on a mission for Henry. She decides she’ll hire Gold as her attorney and assures Mary Margaret that she’s ready for motherly responsibilities. August, after installing a medieval lock on their door to keep out Regina, implores Emma to see the bigger picture, to have faith that he can help her get her kid back. Her response: “My kid needs me, I don’t have time for faith,” is a preview of her breakdown at episode’s end. Realizing his influence on her is weak, August meets with Gold, asking him to deny her counsel so that she’ll run to him. When Gold laughs at the idea he can be trusted, we’re reminded of Pinocchio’s propensity to bend the truth. For me, this was an instance where OUAT proved it can do subtle with its parallel worlds.

Fast forward to the end of the FTL, when the Blue Fairy requests Geppetto build a wardrobe out of the last enchanted tree to house a pregnant Snow White and her husband, Charming. The child, as the prophecy goes, will restore the magical realm. But Geppetto afraid for his boy’s safety, bargains to have Pinocchio take the second spot in the tree. Jiminy tries to talk him out of this foolishness, the child should not be without its parents. Geppetto nastily refers to the cricket’s horrid beginnings by saying he will help him like he helped his parents—a callback to “That Still Small Voice” where we learn that Jiminy’s parents killed Geppetto’s parents for their belongings. The Blue Fairy grants his wish anyway, and allows Pinocchio to take Charming’s place.

August whisks Emma away on his hog out of Storybrooke to tell his story. Is the reason they aren’t hurt because they were protected by the enchanted tree? Anyway, he brings her to a diner that causes Emma anxiety. The reason why is that’s where she was found as a baby. August then drops the bomb that the seven year-old boy who discovered her was him! Unconvinced, he uses details that weren’t reported by the papers like the blanket she had with her name monogrammed on it. Then he tells her how they arrived in this world through their tree portal and that her fate’s to save them all. Thinking he’s got some screws loose, Emma starts to walk away when August falls to the ground in searing pain. He explains that his sickness is actually him returning to his old wooden form. It’s punishment for not being there when Emma first settled in Storybrooke. August had lost his way and was tempted by Phuket—the real world equivalent of Pleasure Island (and the place where Jack ran away to in “Lost.” Seriously, I can keep going). Now he’s paying the steep price for not being the guardian she needed.

Pinocchio ends up being appointed Emma’s guardian because Snow does not go with her newborn in the tree. Due to a premature birth, Pinocchio and Geppetto are told he must give up his spot so that mother and child will be together. Geppetto obviously, disobeys. He instead makes Pinocchio promise to be the child’s protector. Jiminy warns of the temptations he’ll face (Thai prostitutes, it’s gotta be) in this new world without magic, but as long as he’s brave, truthful, and unselfish he’ll be fine. But as we know, August eventually abandons his charge when his overbearing and unloving foster parents give him reason to ditch. It’s a cheap excuse, but no matter the cause it wasn’t smart to entrust a seven year-old with a baby’s care, so it was inevitable.

Emma’s reluctance persists when August shows Emma his wooden leg and her ignorance is so powerful that it distorts what she sees, a real human leg. She doesn’t want to save everyone, she doesn’t want that responsibility, and Jennifer Morrison sells me on her psychology here that she’s looked out for herself for so long that she isn’t ready to be a savior. The only person she is willing to rescue is her boy right now. Therefore after her confrontation with August, she makes the rash decision to walkie-talkie Henry and ask if he wants to escape Regina. The boy says “More than anything” and she peels off, ready to run from all the madness of this town and to deny her destiny. On some level, I wonder if she does believe, but is too afraid to fail.

This complexity has eluded Emma in the past because we thought she had no backbone. Turns out she has the capacity to be the hero they’ve been waiting for (but didn’t know it) and she’s just too insecure and dependent on reason for her survival. This direction for Emma and the series is excellent. I’m not sure how long it can sustain itself, however knowing the once inevitable return to glory may be thwarted not by evil but by good standing by is a refreshing take on what I was beginning to suspect was a stale, but fun series. Now it has the legs to become something thrilling, yet layered with sophistication to contemplate. Can happiness be found in Storybrooke if the savior never comes to take them to FTL/Heaven?

I even appreciated the sidebar this week as Regina is killed with kindness. When she comes to school to sour Mary Margaret’s return, her wickedness is rejected by Mary Margaret’s forgiveness. Ginnifer Goodwin delivers these chilly lines like only she could, sweetly yet viciously: “Your life must be so incredibly sad that you only experience joy from ruining others’ happiness.” Damn Mary Margaert, that’s way too cold. You can tell that the words follow Regina, hitting hard enough that she seeks the affection of Mary Margaret’s former lover, David.

Her engine won’t start so David offers her a lift and she insists he stay for dinner. After David devours his lasagna he delivers his second groaner line in two weeks, “You really know how to work some magic.” That much cheese is just unhealthy. Regina then recounts the day she found David. I noticed the parallels between how both August and Regina failed to make strong connections with “how I found you” stories. I’m not sure they relate, but maybe it has to with the fact that both Emma and David need to find themselves, their true idenities, and on some level they reject others thinking they know them? Well, Regina misreads David’s graciousness as a green light and he denies her advance when she leans in for a kiss. My impression is it wasn’t just a way to get back at Mary Margaret and that she is devastatingly lonely. When she throws the wine glass at the mirror it’s a tip off. It must remind her that the one person who adored her (her “mirror” Sidney Glass) is behind bars, and nobody else out there loves her. She needs David, even if it’s just his pity, but she may have squandered that by asking for too much.

“The Stranger” ends on a hopeful note when my thesis that the series may take the route of “finding happiness without happily ever after” gets an affirmation. August stumbles upon his dad’s clock shop and lends him some pointers. Geppetto says August’s father must be proud and August wonders if that’s true with all the mistakes he’s made along the way. Geppetto delivers the icing on the cake, “You realize your mistake and try to fix it. If I had a son that would be enough for me.” Brimming with pride and overwhelmed by his father’s indirect forgiveness, August volunteers to be Marco’s (Geppetto’s alter ego) assistant. He accepts and its such a moving moment. August has for all intents and purposes failed his father, but the man accepts him without knowing him, unconditionally. That’s not fake or manufactured, that’s real, and a byproduct of a wonderful fairyback that didn’t need to justify itself with forced parallels. It belonged by being what this show is at its core, a romanticizing of human relationships and the magic comes from them.

It was imperfect, but it accomplished everything you would hope an episode of OUAT would. It was innocent, fun, mesmerizing, inspiring, while still making us fearful that good may not win this time. Henry has faith, Emma has reason not to, and in the final two episodes OUAT asks us, what about you?

Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) prepares for battle as all of Westeros feels the effects of a sudden murder.

Yeah, that JUST HAPPENED. You thought the way last week ended was a tad unsettling, get a load of how this one kicks off. In a scene that now seems hugely symbolic, Renly Baratheon (literally) takes off his armor as he relays his plan to vanquish his brother Stannis’ army at dawn. And then…he chokes on his words.

Shadow baby becomes a shadow man with it’s (?) first kill, swooping into Renly’s tent and stabbing him in the back in front of his personal guard Brienne and Lady Catelyn Stark. It’s such a shock to the system, you almost don’t believe it. To start an episode with such a world-altering event is a double-edged sword though. Looking back, I wonder if it was similar to including a comedy film’s best punchlines in the trailer. Did they give away the farm?  It sets an assertive tone though, and it establishes the rule of the realm that Arya later declares to Tywin Lannister—anyone can be killed.

The initial adrenaline rush lingers, giving the episode a cluttered feel. It’s quickened too by its attempts to drop in on every location to see how swift Westeros has swerved in another direction after the cataclysmic assassination. The lasting impact of “The Ghost of Harrenhal” hinges so tightly to the ripples of Renly’s murder that it’s hard to hold onto, let alone remember, anything else meaningful that happens afterward. But as your servile TV critic I’ll do my best.

The Aftermath at Renly’s Camp

As one might imagine, the sudden slaying of your commander (and the man you believe has the most legitimate claim to the throne) might shake things up a bit. Immediately after, Brienne is the number one suspect, having been the only sword-weilding person—why they wouldn’t account for shadow people is ridiculous— in his vicinity. Her inclination is not to leave the body of her king. Her horrifying screams seemed slightly overblown, but then later when she swears an oath of fealty to Catelyn, it becomes clear she her lot in life is to serve. She seems lost when the lord she revers leaves this earth, like a part of her has been defeated as well. Thankfully, she finds a womanly courage within Catelyn, and Lady Stark is always willing to take in honorable lost souls.

Less obviously devastated, but still grieving are his lover, Loras Tyrell and his wife, Margery Tyrell. Loras wants to stay and avenge his brother in battle, but as Littlefinger rationalizes, he’ll be dead before he can get close to Stannis. His army’s disorganized and unprepared, awaiting their fate. Most of them end up converting into Stannis believers, so while it comes off cowardly, Loras is being smart in fleeing. My love affair with Margery continues when she confides in Littlefinger that she does not want to be a queen, she wants to be THE queen. It would seem Melisandre has that title wrapped with Stannis, so who does she cozy up to next? I love how manipulative she is, and how unafraid she is to show it. She’s a career-minded woman, and she will get what she wants. She barely mourns, because Renly was an arrangement of convenience, not an unbreakable bond. I expect she isn’t going to be fleeing for long.

King’s Landing

With Stannis’ army about to add 100,000 strong, Tyrion is nervous about what strategy Joffrey has to oppose those astronomical numbers. His new spy, Lancel, has overheard Cersei discuss “Wildfire” a chemical weapon of sorts that burns more fiercely than your run-of-the-mill fire. When Tyrion drops by the alchemist guild that is assembling this secret weapon, he learns they’ve been amassing jars of the stuff for months—the count in the thousands when he arrives.

Bronn, Tyrion’s brutish right hand, is skeptical: “Men win wars, not magic tricks.” And this seems to be an antiquated, or at least incorrect view. Magic eliminated Renly’s threat, and far-off Daenerys threatens with her baby fire-breathers, therefore magic and fire seem like the trend in warfare. Tyrion recognizes the possible destruction that would result from such a volatile weapon being in Joffrey’s hands, and commands the alchemist report to him now. Not sure how he could so easily sway the man, but I suppose the Hand trumps Queen regent.

To balance out the heavy, we’re treated to Tyrion and Bronn, buddy cop duo as they survey the townsfolk who seem eager for an uprising. They mock their boy king and his sociopathic tendencies, and Tyrion agrees: “The king is a lost cause, I’m worried about the rest of us.” Although he is discouraged to know that the commoners view him as the puppet master pulling his strings. They refer to him unaffectionately as a “demon monkey” and he seems determined hereafter to prove he deserves their admiration.

Stannis’ army

High off his recent acquisition of soldiers, Stannis is ready to take on King’s Landing. Ser Davos seems reticent only because of how easily his king deployed dark magic to reach his ends. To him, these means seem more threatening than helpful. Stannis calms his advisor by handing him the keys to his naval fleet, despite his beginnings as a smuggler. He also assures him that Melisandre will not accompany them on this invasion, but I doubt this means she’ll be uninvolved during the entirety of his conquest, let alone his possible reign.

Pyke

Not much to report except that Theon sets sail for his mission to seize a fisherman’s village viking-style. His crew is a bunch of rapists and looters frankly, and don’t seem likely to take orders (especially from a boy who was only recently baptized). His first mate is more cordial, and even offers him advice in how he can prove himself: take down a more valuable target. The first mate (whose name I looked across the Seven Kingdoms for and couldn’t find) suggests Torrhen’s Square, a castle not far from Winterfell. The idea is that Bran will deflect his forces there and be unequipped to handle the brunt of the Iron Island attack when they come knocking on his door.

Winterfell

Let’s just say Bran sees this coming, but nobody believes him. Bran Stark tells his wildling servant, Osha, about a vivid dream where the sea comes to Winterfell. This is immediately dismissed since Winterfell is 100 miles from water. Osha also deflects questions about the three-eyed raven that continuously appears in his prophetic dreams, not wanting to answer what it might mean. That can’t be a good sign. And with all this witchcraft going on, I can’t help but buy into Bran as dream psychic. Bran proves his leadership when he commits 200 troops, along with his Master-At-Arms Rodrik Cassel, to investigate the sacking of Torrhen’s Square, but could that be playing into The Iron Islanders hands?

Beyond the Wall

Probably the plot that suffered the most severe cutbacks was this one. Besides a charming discussion of what the “first men” who journeyed this harsh climate must have felt, the only notable change is their spotting of Mance Rayder’s men (Rayder is a former Night’s Watchman who decided he would crown himself King of the Wildlings or something). Jon Snow insists he be one of the rangers to accompany Halfhand on his raid. Sam take over as Commander Jeor Mormont’s steward, and that about wraps it up. As much as I loved Jon Snow in season one, I’m hoping we get to see some heroics pretty soon. Otherwise, our adventure in the way North has only produced an incestuous host named Craster, a baby boy sacrifice and a white walker sighting.

Qarth

Daenerys plays with her dragons (not a euphemism) within the gorgeous walls of Qarth. She’s suspicious of Xaro Xhoan Daxos (I looked it up!) who buys her a dress. As she guessed, he’s interested in marrying her, but not for the reasons you might expect—she’s sexy as hell, and her “firepower” kinda turns me on. His ambition is to turn his riches into political clout. He’s got a well-secured safe full of gold that would buy her the most formidable army in Westeros and would ensure she reclaims the Iron Throne for House Targaryen. He also passes along the valuable nugget of information that Robert Baratheon is dead. It had totally slipped my mind that she wasn’t aware of this. I think because her plans to conquer fit in so perfectly with the turmoil Westeros plunged into the minute he passed, I forgotten she was out of the loop.

She insists to her advisor, Jorah Mormont, that this is the perfect time to strike. Jorah, however, seems hesitant to see her wed. I always knew he loved her, but didn’t know when it would start to complicate their relationship or their ambitions. He professes his love to her subliminally when he says she would be loved as well as feared as Queen: “There are times when I look at you, and still can’t believe you’re real.” This certainly gives Daenerys the heebie-jeebies, but I’m unsure if she will take stock of his advice to “make her own way.” If I’m her, I marry the rich black man (The first one to get a major part! In a show with dynamite females, it’s nice to see that equal employment opportunity extend to race as well). He’s got the dough to get you the might you need to match your growing dragon threat. I say use him and abuse him, then cut him loose if he doesn’t satisfy you once your sitting on the Iron Throne. By the way, how adorable are those baby dragons? Mommy, can I have one?!

Harrenhal

What leapt this episode to above average status for me though was my required dose of Arya. Her awesomeness knows no bounds. When cornered by her new employer, Tywin Lannister, she tries to lie and pass for a Southerner, but her lack of knowledge reveals her to be a Northerner. And yet she stands her ground, bending the truth again by not giving her true origin and naming a Northern house she knows as well as her own. She then perpetuates an imposing myth about her brother that he rides into battle on the back of a giant direwolf, and that he can’t be killed. She qualifies it though with her motto for the episode. Say it with me—anyone can be killed.

Her other development involves the repaying of a debt. During the invasion of the City Watch, Arya had handed an axe to the caged prisoners, one of whom was Jaqen H’ghar. Since she saved his life with that gesture, Jaqen promises to return the favor by killing three people of her choice. Guess that means she’ll have three less to recite as she falls asleep! Later, he keeps his word and strikes down her first request with his bow and arrow: the man who tortured them a.k.a The Tickler. Does Arya have a master assassin in her pocket? Oh, “Game of Thrones,” I can’t stay mad.

“The Ghost of Harrenhal” might have been biting off more than they could chew with this installment, but you can’t say there isn’t any intrigue. Two fleets are about to descend upon their target—Stannis on King’s Landing, and Balon Greyjoy on Winterfell—, Arya’s got Tywin Lannister’s ear and an assassin on her team and let’s not forget the all-important glue (magic and fire), that kept this episode together. At a glance this week, GoT was disheveled, but thankfully it was bound together by duct tape. Adhered by the idea that the victors may have to cheat to win, magic and fire looms over the future of every house. It was an hour that broke the rules, but like a lovable rebel, we’re still gunning for them.

Many of the fan favorites have ethically dubious strategies, but the show has made it apparent that righteousness will get you killed. Without knowing it, we’ve all agreed to a moral relativism. All that separates good and evil is intent. Tyrion wants the respect of his subjects, but he’s willing to resort to chemical warfare. Daenerys seems destined to rule, but she wants to buy her way in. And Arya, for now, has given permission for an assassin to carry out her dirty work. But somehow, we all want them to succeed. That’s a credit to the writers who have masterfully drawn a huge cast without sacrificing any humanity. Each player’s motivations are spelled out within minutes of introduction so that we can assign our impressions, but their evolution isn’t done until they’re knocked off. Although the haunting beginning made maintaining tension almost insurmountable, by the end I realized I wasn’t any less invested. For showing the nuances of conquering on screen while seizing my imagination, GoT remains formidable and battle-ready.

Remember, don’t discuss elements of the books that haven’t aired yet. Don’t spoil it for everyone else in the comments section!

NEW YORK – For most people I know, 8:30 on a Tuesday morning is either time to go to class or time for nothing at all; why wake up before noon if you don’t have to?

For me, however, once every six months, it means something totally different. It means I’ve made the journey to South Station and am about to catch a Greyhound to one of my favorite places in the world: New York City.

And, despite what my past behavior would seem to predict, this isn’t for a concert or a music festival or anything of the sort. No, this is my biannual trek to the sacred ground of 513 E. 54^th Street – “The Colbert Report.”

First in "line"

On this particular occasion in late April, I couldn’t have asked for better weather to stand, iced coffee in hand and with two of my friends in tow, on the streets of Manhattan for a few hours. The instructions on the ticket confirmation e-mail instructed us to show up no later than 6 p.m., so my friends and I naturally showed up to “get in line” around 2:30. To our surprise (yes, surprise – the anxiety of losing a good spot in line is not exclusive to concert-going life), we were first. Even security seemed taken aback seeing us there, asking us outright if we were actually there, so early, to get in line for the taping.

The hours passed easily until we proudly received our blue, laminated tickets that designated the order in which we would at long last enter the studio: 1, 2, and 3.

Of course, if my previous experiences in the concert world have taught me anything, it’s that a place in line is never guaranteed – and that even if it was, that place doesn’t guarantee much within itself.

Does this mean we're tourists?

Let me explain. After you’ve lined up for a while (in our case three and a half hours, but probably less for most) the Report’s interns lead you into a holding room that might also function as an elaborate shrine to Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA. A poster from 2010’s “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” and various incarnations of the iconic portrait that hangs over the studio’s “fireplace” adorn the walls, as well as a not-quite-life-size sticker of the man himself, posed for a photo.

As more and more fans trickle in from the outside and go through the metal detector, a highlight reel that was probably compiled in 2007 (and not altered a bit since) plays on a television in the corner of the room. You can’t exactly call anything that Stephen does “outdated”, though, and soon the entire room is laughing at some of Stephen’s best “Better Know a District” interviews to date, the introduction of the word “truthiness”, and his light saber fight with George Lucas.

Throwback poster on the walls of the holding room (Credit Rory McDonald)

Time is just starting to drag after about an hour or so when the excited interns brief everyone on conduct policy, beg the audience to laugh and clap as loud as humanly possible (something I still don’t quite understand – why would anyone need to be told to laugh at this show?) and tell everyone to keep it clean during the pre-show Q&A: “If your question has anything to do with some below the belt, above the knees action, keep it to yourself,” they’ll tell you. Then, finally, they start to let everyone inside the studio itself.

…and that’s when it happens. Out of nowhere, people emerge with tickets completely different from your own, and those people are instructed to go in first. Granted, on this particular venture I learned that some of those lucky not-so-few are military families, which the Report makes a point of ushering to the front of the line. Even two hours into our wait, I couldn’t help but feel admiration, not bitterness, when this policy was quietly announced.

After the military families, though, comes VIPs. Red tickets in hand, they are led in, and the lowly mortals who have stood in line outside can wait still a few more minutes to find their seats.

On my first visit to the Report in October, I remember finding this particularly disenchanting. For years (about six, to be precise) I’d watched the show religiously and dreamt of the day that I, too, would stand in the front row and high-five Stephen as he ran by. I remember distinctly watching the show in middle school and hoping against hope that the show would not be canceled before I turned 18, lest I lose my chance forever.  In my mind, back then, all I had to do was show up early (of course) and I was home free.

This time I remarked to one of my friends how nice it was that at least we didn’t have the expectation of getting the front row anymore. This time we could go in without a shred of disappointment and hope that wherever they stuck the three of us (they always keep parties together, to their credit) was worth those few extra hours in line. We also had the advantage of knowing that there was no such thing as a bad seat at the Report – but, I mean, can you blame us for wanting to be as close to the desk, and the man himself, as possible?

Still, when we were led in and looked up into the stands, we couldn’t help but feel a little deflated. There were unquestionably many more VIPs at this show than at the one we’d been to before: the first several rows back, in each section, were already full. We’d just said as much to one another when the security guard who’d met us before and joked about our dedication “Usually only tourists show up this early!”-  said that we seemed just crazy enough to warrant a spot in the front row.

Before we knew what was happening, my friends and I found ourselves sitting in the only three free spots in the front row, the farthest to the left in the studio. All Stephen had to do was look to his right and there we were. It was unbelievable.

I’ll digress here to talk about the studio itself for a moment, because it really does deserve a mention. The first thing of notice when attending any taping, I’ve found, is that the studio seems a lot smaller than the show would indicate. The audience itself, the only part of the studio that you don’t readily see on screen for more than a few seconds, is relatively small, too (there’s a reason my friends and I show up early.)

The inside of the studio, for those who have somehow forgotten

Stephen may run from his desk to the interview table every week, for example, but he really only needs to take three steps at most. I myself, in the front row, could’ve taken as many steps and touched the infamous desk.

All of the decorations and nods to running gags on set are permanent fixtures, stacked on the shelves behind the desk. The lights and video screens embedded in the walls and on the desk are all actually in place, none of them that I could see inserted after the fact. It was in a lot of ways like stepping directly through the TV screen and finding yourself in the middle of any given episode. As a fan, in my mind, you can’t really ask for better than that.

From that point on, everything else seemed to go unbelievably smoothly. Some kind of playlist, containing everything from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers to Placebo to U2, blasted through the speakers as the audience was let in, picking up throughout the taping whenever the cameras stopped rolling. The warm-up comic, brought out some 30 minutes before the show started, alternated between picking on audience members and himself, taking particular pleasure in tormenting a self-described “analyst” who was unquestionably the best-dressed man in the audience with his suit and tie. It was also his somewhat enviable duty to get us on our feet and bring out the man of the hour with a yell into his handheld microphone: “Stephen Colbert!”

As promised, my friends and I stuck out our hands as Stephen came bounding out from backstage, making the rounds of the front row to the sound of Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me”. Pausing in the center of the floor to our continuing applause, he laughed and caught his breath, smiling good-naturedly into the crowd. When he finally convinced everyone to quiet down, he broke the ice by revealing that today he had been completely unprepared for his introduction, bolting out in an instant when he heard the comic yell his name.

Still, he looked as ready and willing as ever, and started the Q&A portion that comes before every show: “Do you have any questions to humanize me in your eyes before I say these terrible things?”

I’ll admit something here: with each taping of my favorite shows that I’ve attended (two for The Daily Show and one Colbert before this occasion), I’ve always stood outside in line contemplating what brilliant, witty question I would ask either faux-pundit if given the chance. Unfortunately for yours truly, that resolve has each time evaporated once the man in question was standing mere feet in front of me, looking expectantly into the crowd. I’ll put it this way: I didn’t even try. This time, though, I knew I’d written it off for long enough, and up my hand went.

Stephen first called on a man a few rows back, who asked what was the most ridiculous or “questionably legal” thing that Stephen had done with his Super PAC funding (collected, as many of you may know, from donations from the faithful Colbert Nation). Stephen went on to recount for a few minutes the process of offering to solve the South Carolina Republicans’ financial woes by buying the naming rights to the Republican Primary there for $500,000, dubbing it the Stephen Colbert South Carolina Republican Primary.

Before all of us he began to lose himself in the tale, taking on the personages of the various characters by putting on a thick southern drawl or lazily scratching his stomach as necessary. In the end, he said, the financial struggles of the party concerned were alleviated by the government – but they didn’t write him off, either. “They didn’t need my money,” Stephen recalled, earning a disappointed groan from the audience, “…but they still wanted it!” he finished, with a mischievous grin. In the end, he said, he had all of the records of the exchange, enough to tantalize any self-respecting investigative journalist, but he wasn’t about to turn them over. He liked the guy, he said simply, with a shrug.

If anything, this seemed to answer the ever-looming, unasked question if Stephen Colbert can truly charm his way into getting anything he wants through the Report. The answer is clearly yes. Yes, he can. And he does.

Realizing this question segued perfectly into my own, my hand shot up in the air. To my surprise, Stephen pointed at me. “Yes, young lady?”, he said.

“You’ve clearly done so much crazy stuff with this show,” I said.  “Has anyone ever told you no?”

He opened his mouth for a moment, closed it again, and answered with a smile: “A lot of girls have.” And the Q&A rolled on.

Asked if he’d ever forgotten who he is, Stephen cut off the asker with an abrupt “No,” and a laugh. He had only gone home in character once, he said, after he had spent his ride home after a taping writing up notes and dialogue for the next show. He walked in the house and his wife recognized the shift immediately and told him to “get the fuck out of my house,” he recalled with a laugh. “She said ‘Why would I want to be married to this?’”

After a few more questions, the soundtrack was cranked all the way back up and Stephen was quickly prepped behind his desk. His makeup was touched up, his hair was combed back (Stephen jokingly stroked the stylist’s hair as she worked), and the cameras were rolled into place.

He grabbed a handful of his signature red WristStrong bracelets and stretched them back, shooting them into the crowd. Never one to miss out on a gag, though, after about five bracelets were sent out and the audiences’ hands remained outstretched he held up an impressive-looking dagger, poised to throw. He grinned, somewhat dangerously, before putting it away, pulling out his notes for the first segment.

The stage manager twirled a script in her hand, our signal to go nuts, and we obliged as the intro to the show started up on screens around the studio and the theme played through the building.

This episode saw the return of a long-lost segment, “Thought for Food”, as in-character-Stephen bemoaned the presence of ground-up insects in Starbucks’ Strawberry and Crème Frappuccino. He broke character a few times, collapsing in laughter onto his desk and saying “Just keep going, just keep going!”

The rest of the taping went off without a hitch, covering everything from Mitt Romney’s interview with Diane Sawyer to the much-maligned exorbitant government conference in Las Vegas that cost taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was a typical balance of skewering the political topics of the day and mocking some bizarre news story of the day – just what a fan would expect and look forward to.

Still, at every break, where commercials would normally be placed on the air, the soundtrack would come back up again and Stephen would, more often than not, start goofing off. He sang along (as did I) to the White Stripes’ “Fell in Love with a Girl” and danced in his chair to a Spanish rap song that I’d never heard in my life. Like someone out of a silent slapstick movie, he pretended to scold a production team member when they seemed to have run out of things to talk about, comically wagging his finger and narrowing his eyes. The security guard was pretty much the only person in the building who did not outwardly appear to be having a good time, and even then that was probably because he’s paid to look that way.

The interview portion, featuring author Jonah Lehrer, saw Stephen in his element: a give-and-take situation, feeding off of whatever someone else gives him and spitting something back.

Seeing this particular segment live, before editing, provides the advantage of watching him work. Every pause, later edited out for time, isn’t an awkward silence but rather a few seconds during which you can really watch the man think. In the silence, one gets the impression that if your hearing was just a bit better you could hear the gears in his head turning, the ideas forming, before he produces an insightful follow-up question or a perfectly witty retort. This was no exception, producing a number of quotable off-the-cuff lines that were later quoted back to me by friends or various social media sites. As per usual, four days a week.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end  – all too quickly, it seems. In almost no time at all Stephen was back behind his desk, gave a signature bellow of “That’s it for the Report – goodnight!” and it was all over.

Still, despite its apparent brevity, I couldn’t have asked for a better “Colbert Report” experience. Even the somewhat miserable ride back to Boston on the 12:15 a.m. Greyhound couldn’t dampen my spirits, and I see no reason not to keep my resolve to see a Report taping every six months for as long as the show exists. I can dream, right?

Those interested can watch this particular episode on Colbertnation.com here. 

Leslie (Amy Poehler) faces off against poll-leading Bobby Newport (Paul Rudd) in a debate.

I wouldn’t begrudge anyone who feels that season four of “Parks and Recreation” just isn’t as uproariously funny as it used to be. My counterargument would be, you’re right, it’s a hell of a lot funnier.

Though I’m no student of comedy—I’ve taken a sketch comedy class, but my forte is fiction—I know that a large percentage of what makes something funny is by how much it surprises you. That would be the “I’m Ron F**king Swanson” moments. In the early going, we weren’t as familiar with these characters, but we knew what made them stand out. Then when the writers fleshed out those quirks, developed backstories and provided them with dimension, we all fell in love with the Pawnee parks department. Now the game has changed. In season four, we no longer need those shocker quotes that make us cover our mouths because the laughs are leaping out of our chests. It’s precisely our familiarity with who these people are that makes us smile for the full 22 minutes.

Was there any doubt Leslie would knock this out of the park? Hell, was there any doubt she would underestimate the simplicity of her prospective constituents? Pawnee is infamous for being “fourth in obesity, first in friendship,” but they have to be among the the worst in critical thinking as well. They are suckers, sorry to say. But that also means they can be easily swayed when Leslie finishes with an impassioned speech that felt like a desperate football coach rallying his players at halftime. Pawnee had lost their way, and Leslie reigned them back in. They are sheep, but they’re her sheep. And while reason would say she could do much better than an city council seat in this town, she is just as irrational. And dammit, she wants it bad. As Amy Poehler (who wrote and directed this episode) so eloquently phrased it, she may “care too much” and “push too hard,”  but it’s only because she wants the best for her town. It angered her to see what she loves threatened, and Pawnee deserves better than to be beholden to a corporation when it’s individuals who give a damn like her, that make it great.

I could go on for days on that speech alone, not only in terms of its effect on the show but concerning its relevance to our current times. It’s one of those awe-inspiring moments you need to see for yourself to understand and appreciate. So for the love of all that’s holy, watch the dang episode if you haven’t already and I’ll guide you through what else made “The Debate,” and what makes this show, special.

Our cast is split, as has become the standard since the campaign began, into three factions. Chris, Ann and Tom comprise “the spin team” who handle all media inquiries during the debate. Chris’ enthusiasm for life makes him a superb addition to the team. He spun Ben’s hypothetical scenario that Leslie vomited and audibly farted on stage into “She’s literally overflowing with ideas. And speaking of methane have you heard her plan to reduce greenhouse gases?” Tom is less enthused to be working with Mr. Traeger since Ann and him are kaput after he gave her an inappropriate shoutout on The Douche’s radio show. As I predicted (that faint trumpet you hear is me tooting my own horn), Chris makes a move on Ann, but she seems to think he’s romanticizing what their three-month relationship was really like.

Tom sabotages his co-spinners with his negative answers and Ann pulls him aside. Obviously, he’s bitter about the breakup, but Ann’s right to call him an ass. Tom takes the advice April gave earlier and admits that it’s an act, and that he needs to “cut out the swagger” as April had put it. He speaks from his heart and shares that she makes him nervous because she’s so out of his league, but that he would do anything to get back together. By the end, Ann rejects both Chris and Tom, maybe only because she needs to stop dating for like, ever. She has had a lot of rotten luck.

The development that most excited me though was that they went back to the well of putting Tom and April’s heads together. Come to think of it, they both have fronts—Tom’s is flashy, April’s is disinterested—because caring isn’t cool. April comes clean, telling Tom that she cares about Andy, Champion, Leslie winning and sleeping, and I’d be psyched if they continue to feed off each other and grow as a result. Both are lovable when they choose to be, so it’d be great to see them open up, let people in, and expose their true selves. Reading that, it seems more sitcom-y then most “Parks” material, but when you have so many people who are easy to root for, why not give them a chance at victory.

April, Andy and Ron are in charge of the donors’ viewing soiree at April and Andy’s place. Trying to fit in, Andy makes phony claims about his “investments” and April does her hysterical rich person laugh. Ron gives a frank and deliberate introduction and Andy realizes he forgot to pay the cable bill, so watching the debate would prove rather difficult. While April tries to talk to the cable company (a nod to fellow NBC comedy, 30 Rock, their provider is CableTown), Andy reenacts scenes from his favorite movies: Roadhouse, Rambo and Babe. Of course. His rendition of Babe has his audience captivated and leaves Donna in tears. My favorite part is when Ron saves the day by stealing someone’s cable. Him strapping on his tool belt, climbing up the telephone poll and pressing himself up against it so he can hide from passing cop cars was a treat. It didn’t hurt that he sang a spirited few lyrics from “Wichita Lineman” either. Anytime Ron can show off his assorted handyman skills is preferable, in my opinion.

Leslie, however, and her fellow debaters dominate this episode. Paul Rudd does an extraordinary job of filling the role without overdoing it and drowning out small players like moderators Perd Hapley and Joan Calamezzo, and the ripped-from-the-headlines fringe candidates. Poehler’s SNL background was evident here as she indirectly parodied some of the more laughable Republican hopefuls that we’ve watched extensively over the past year. There’s Fester Trim (played by Friday Night Lights vet Brad Leland), a gun enthusiast and owner of Gunbelievable Gun Emporium who has a plan for assault rifle vending machines. Sure you do. There’s also Brandi Maxxxx, an adult film star who continually stains Leslie’s reputation during the debate by comparing herself to Leslie. Lastly, there’s Manrico Della Rossa, an animal rights activist who equates rubbing your hands on a leather jacket to murder. Poehler’s direction capitalized on the episode’s format with sharp cuts between random snippets from each candidate that out of its proper context sound ludicrous—such as Bobby struggling to pin down his favorite James Bond, “Daniel Craig! No, Timothy Dalton.”

Jennifer Barkley seems confident going in that Bobby is in a win-win scenario. Either he’s able to speak coherently and not cry and the pundits say he did surprisingly well (probably a reference to the low expectations of Sarah Palin in the VP debates of 2008). There’s also the possibility he crashes and burns and he earns the public’s sympathy. She isn’t far off when Leslie opens by saying Bobby wants to “buy your vote” and the audience turns on her when he says the soundbite,” hurt his feelings.” He follows up saying, “I want do a good job because I like it when people think I do a good job.” This gets a raucous reaction from the crowd and Ben is dumbfounded. Barkley alludes to a “surprisey wisey” and Bobby undoubtedly does deal a big blow. He claims that because Leslie has an anti-business agenda, Sweetums, Pawnee’s premier provider of candy and jobs, might move to Mexico.

Ben, as her advisor, suggests she cut her losses and not risk hurting her image anymore by attacking him. But Leslie has that look in her eye, that burning desire to seize what she wants and bulldoze over anyone that stands in her path. So as her boyfriend, Ben assures Leslie that she can crush him. And wow, did she crush him. Like his little juice box. Even Bobby can only exclaim, “Holy f**k, Leslie, that was awesome.” The most salient point he’d made all night.

Afterwards, during the celebration, Bobby runs over to Leslie yelling “We did it!” and he invites her to his dad’s lake house for an after party. When Ann, Ben and Leslie all look back at the camera in disbelief it’s an amazing comedic move that also works as an indicator of how, as always, the show reflects the audience’s investment. We feel what these people feel and vice versa. It’s a rare feat in any T.V show, but even rarer for a comedy, to achieve this level of intimacy. Sweetness may have been the strength of “The Debate,” instead of astonishing us with its onslaught of killer lines—though there was plenty of material for me to weed through for L.O.L.Ls— but it was triumphant, soulful and spectacular. It may not have been what you were expecting, but it’s just what the doctor ordered. Some of my favorite lines were more adorable than amusing. When Tom told Ann, “Vote for me, to be your boyfriend” it was too frickin’ cute. And when LesBen repeated “I love you and I like you” to each other I couldn’t suppress my “Awwwws.”

Amy Poehler’s script took an impossibly pivotal moment and surpassed any expectations with a genuinely moving and touching take on politics, and proved yet again how loyal and dutiful the “Parks and Recreation” team is to the Pawnee parks team. I am unashamed to say that even if it wasn’t the funniest, I’ve felt more during and for this season than I’d imagined I could. So while no particular scene surprised the hell out of me and made me fall out of my seat laughing, what did sneak up on me was how much that didn’t matter.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- Ben: “You can debate Newport in your sleep.” Leslie: “I have.” Ben: “I know. We sleep in the same bed, it’s been hell.”

- Ben: “You are going to rip his spine out with your teeth, chew it up and gargle with it.” Leslie: “I love it when you’re needlessly disgusting.”

- “I recently invested in some shirts I got at a garage sale. Left those at Wendy’s on the way home. Ha, the economy.”

- “Hello, you are here because you gave us money. Now, we will give you ribs. Also, you will watch the debate. If you like the debate, you will give us more money. That is all. Ron Swanson.”

- Brandi Maxxxx, the adult film star: “And just like Leslie, I know what it’s like to be in a room full of men.”

- “Little Bobby, I’m not gonna clean your room no mas.”

- “And we all know the better looking a park is, the more attention it gets from lady parks that want to have sex with it.”

- “I’m an American, my father is an American, my mother is an American. My godfather is the viceroy of the principality of Lichtenstein.”

- “I was in favor of closing the Borders bookstore, not the border in Mexico.”

- “I guess my thoughts on abortion are, you know, let’s just all have a good time.”

- Jennifer Barkley: “Quick question. Does that Chris Traeger guy have a girlfriend, and is his penis normal?” Ben: “Stop talking.”

- “How do we fix this town? I have no idea. You tell me. That’s what I’m counting on, you telling me.”

Cece (Hannah Simone) rushes to the hospital where Schmidt (Max Greenfield) is recuperating from a penis-related injury.

Comedy is an art, not a science. Because of that, there is no formula that can produce the maximum amount of laughter. Mistakes can often be as fruitful for comedy writers as when they stick to the agreed-upon conventions of their craft. “Tomatoes” (wait for the pun) is that unexpected fruit.

It shouldn’t work for many reasons. You could cite the stereotypical Russian/foreigner jokes that Nadia was the vessel for, you could point to the inherent laziness of penis jokes. You might even scrutinize the way Dermot Mulroney’s arc was dispatched so coldly, causing Jess to come off fickle or at least shallow. And while all these glaring flaws on are flamboyant display, there’s a lot to love about this episode. Maybe I’m infatuated with these characters to the degree that they can do no wrong. Perhaps I should not giggle at genitalia as I did, but even if “Tomatoes” doesn’t have the slam dunk effect of “Normal” where its indisputable how inventive and rewarding it is, underneath some of the distracting and even jarring aspects of the episode, there’s a vibrant heart. Some scenes are daring in their leap from the ridiculous to the raw.

That may sound like digging for substance when there’s just airy, wispy fun, but when Nick and Jess started shaking their butts at one another in frustration—after she sees his ex, Caroline, leave his room wearing his shirt—there was the overwhelming feeling that they are the fire under those asses they desperately need. Jess realizes that Russell is in a phase of his life where tranquility and contentment is preferable to wanting to rip someone’s clothes and face off at the same time. Jess is young enough, however, where she wants to share that thermometer-busting heat with someone, even if “it’s harder and it hurts more.” And Nick, has chosen not to feel anything regarding women because of the pain they’ve continued to cause him, but Jess drives him up a wall and he isn’t running away. He keeps going back to her.

So while out of context, one would undoubtedly view their ass shake-off as an immature and even lazy attempt at laughter, to me it has a layer of sophistication and meaning for these people that is imperceptible to an untrained eye. But if you have, willing or otherwise, become invested in the loft mates, you know this is not just a senseless spat. It’s set up to show how compatible Nick and Jess as a couple. They fill the holes their previous romantic relationships have failed to. If nothing else, this week’s episode warmed me up to the idea of a Nick and Jess hook-up when before it felt gimmicky and forced.

These awakenings of sorts begin on the rooftop where Nick has taken up the hobby of planting tomatoes. Somehow he feels this will begin a healing process. He’ll channel his heartbreak and despair into bringing new life into the world. Yeah, it’s freaking sad. Jess can’t help herself from using plant metaphors (he’s turning over a new leaf!), and Winston feels he’s just devolving. It’s easy for him to say though, since he appears blissfully in love with Shelby who only appears in this scene to shove her tongue down Winston’s throat. Otherwise, he spends most of the time without her, bragging about how happy he is. This underscores how much of a rouse his relationship might be. While he mentions their lovemaking and giddily shares pictures of her cat with Nick, it’s feels like he’s over-compensating. I’m not convinced these feelings reflect real sparks between him and Shelby. Since it started as the rekindling of a flame, I wouldn’t be shocked if on both sides there’s a fixation on how wonderful it feels to be in love, when in reality they’re nowhere near that level yet.

Jess runs into Russell’s ex-wife, Ouli (let’s pretend that’s the correct spelling) at the gym and accidentally invites her to dinner with her and Russell to break up their awkward naked hugging in the sauna. Dinner goes horribly as expected, but the added wrinkle is that Jess detects a sexual tension between them when their fighting begins to escalate. Whether she’s jealous or this just tips her off to the lack of passion in her relationship with Russell is unclear, but either way she seems determined to throw some wood on their fire.

When Schmidt comes over Cece’s to “make sex” as her Russian model roommate Nadia says, Cece puts up a barrier and recommends they cool off since the pregnancy scare made things a little too intense. She even hastens the moving-on by setting up Schmidt for a date with Nadia. Now Nadia is bound to be a point of contention for some. Most of her jokes surround her heavy accent, her distorted concept of American culture and the brutish, sexually aggressive behavior we associate with Russian women. And while this is stereotypical, and therefore not commendable in terms of characterization it produces some incredible lines. I also got the feel that because she embodied such a surreal and frankly insulting view of immigrants that the writers were aware that she was basically a parody of a person with the function of serving as a vehicle for chaos that would eventually bring Schmece (Schmidt and Cece) back together. As long as you go for broke with that satirical aim, I’m okay with it.

Nick continues to throw himself into this tomato thing, even buying a scarecrow to keep away the “sky rats.” He also develops a bitter attitude toward Winston who is kind of a dick and throws his happiness in his face. It was worth it though to see Nick scowl at Winston, pitchfork in hand and yell “Git!” There’s also one of the few tender moments I pointed out where Nick breaks his gardener facade and yells back, “Sandwiches and sex? I want that.” It’s funny, but from an emotional standpoint it’s the first time Nick acknowledges what he’s suppressing.

Yeah, he’s called himself pathetic before and had public outbursts related to his breakups, but these have all been exaggerations and hyperbole for our benefit. He just seemed like a schlub who felt sorry for himself because of his numerous failures. But it not the lack of success, it’s what he’s lost. Nick wants a companion, someone who gets him, someone he can share mundane things with, like sandwiches. In a way, it gives more weight to the later shouting match with Jess since he could have that if he’s willing to take a huge risk. And because of that simple, silly line we know what is on the line.

While that’s happening, Jess tries to manufacture a fight by asking what drives him crazy about her and proceeding to do all those things. This was another instance where Zooey Deschanel’s surprising slapstick skills is showcased. I’m glad they’re tapping into that since she isn’t as gifted a line reader as the Jake Johnsons and Max Greenfields of the world. When Russell stops her angry advances he says that passion is overrated and its clear this is the beginning of the end. While I think it falls in line with his backstory to say that he doesn’t want that kind of roller coaster relationship he went through with his ex, I didn’t feel it was the proper sendoff. His line about him and Ouli being like inching closer to a woodchopper was a nice sentiment, but he didn’t protest much at all, and Jess just got out the car like it was a bad first date. I suppose there’s no easy way to release a guest star back into the wild, and it’s not that I don’t buy Jess’ or Russell’s motivations, I just felt like the guy deserved to go down guns blazing. He did so much for Nick’s character by adding to his comedic arsenal with the man-crush angle, but c’est la vie.

When Cece asks Nadia about her date she says it was brief because “small man went to hospital.” The concern on Cece’s face was sweet as she rushed over, Nadia laughing about how much Schmidt cried (I’ll admit I would have liked to see that). She arrives and sees Schmidt with an ice pack in his crotch. Again, penis jokes are certainly juvenile, BUT when Schmidt delivers his line, “I broke my penis,” like he accidentally dropped something fragile of mommy’s, I died. His recounting of how it happened is L.O.L.L worthy to be sure, but the penis jokes even had significance. Afterward, Cece spits it out, incensed that another woman had him, and tells Schmidt she likes him—”For my personality?” “Yeah I was surprised too.” This moment felt awfully cathartic and well earned, and was masterfully undercut (that’s how Schmidt rolls) when his arousal during their emphatic kiss gives him excruciating pain. This motif is extended into the credits where Winston lists a bunch of things he knows get Schmidt’s juices flowing (models eating sliders, Bernadette Peters on a high beam). Sick bastard. And it’s yet another reminder of why we like to hangout with them every week. We love being privy to their inside jokes, and not having to suffer the consequences. Like say, a broken penis. *Shudder*

Overall, “Tomatoes” struck me as a mask, a veil over the eyes that would quickly become lifted, but in a blink would be covered up by more raunchy jokes and hip references. I’d agree if “Tomatoes” was simply an assemblage of punchlines about dinged-up dongs, ruthless Russians and savvy nods to pop-culture this would be among the show’s weakest, but because it’s a see-saw between its identities—a romp with some outlandish roommates and an insightful, comedic lens on a group of twentysomethings helping each other figure out who they are —it maintains its heightened sense of self. Still, it does slip into sporadic plotting that would strike some as veering off onto a detour before we hit the main stretch of road, the final two episodes of the first season. Like the tomatoes were for Nick, “Tomatoes” was a distraction, sure, but when you lose something it usually turns up when you stop looking for it. And what turned up for me was another worthwhile week of experiment that yielded hysterics and feeling. “New Girl” recognized that the best way to explore deep insecurities is with some distance, a fresh outlook, and a sense of humor.

L.O.L.Ls: Laugh Out Loud Lines

- Nick: “Jess, you’re dating a man I could see myself growing old with.”

- Things Nadia likes about America: salad bar, Despicable Me, Tosh 2.0, Connect Four, freedom of speech, David Fincher, sidewalk, 1-800-SLIM, strawberry, Your mama jokes, ‘Wilma Valderamo,’ Leon Panetta, ice skating for fun, not to save life

- Nadia comparing Schmidt to who he later deduces is Mickey Mouse, “Why don’t you get in your spaceship like McMouse!”

- “You’re gonna sex me in my face?”

- Ouli: “You know what it’s like with Russell. It’s like you’re on the bow of a catamaran being blasted with spray except you’re naked, and on fire.”  Jess” “Yeah, I mean I’m like, Russell, put away the passion and show me a moderately good time.”

- “What is this, Martin Scorsese’s ‘The Wizard of Oz?’”

- “There was this moment where there was just blinding pain, and then there was this moment where I was watching myself watch myself. I think I finally understand what ‘The Tree of Life’ is about. And I can’t be certain of this, but I’m almost positive Nadia’s vagina contains as right angle.”

- “My penis is having a heart attack. You gotta get outta here. Don’t bend over!”

- “Describe it to them as like, a battered highway cone.”

- Jess: “Stop making that face! I hate that face!” Nick: “This is my only face! I don’t have a lot of faces!”