Zarin Machanda, a Harvard biological anthropology graduate student and resident primate “sexpert” shared her thoughts on sexual evolution at the Harvard Museum of Natural History on June 18. Her lecture, “Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know about Primate Sex but Never Wanted to Ask,” covered some lessons to be learned from the sex lives of our closest links.

1. Be a lover, not a fighter

Our DNA may be 98.6 percent identical to chimpanzees, but their relative bonobos take a more human approach when it comes to the value of sex. According to Machanda, if two bonobos become anxious about sharing a resource like food, they will engage in sexual activity to relieve anxiety and then share the goods. “Let’s reduce tension with some sexual behavior, and then we’ll share some fruit,” Machanda explained. Bonobos will use this tactic for conflict resolution and stress reduction. So the next time the stock market crashes or rent is due, take a note from the bonobos.

2. Size matters

The need to compete and exert their sexual dominance has made male primates much larger than their female counterparts. For a male primate to survive and pass on his genes, bigger is always better — in more ways than one. “What would be your reaction,” Machanda asked, “if I told you a chimpanzee brain is the same size as a chimpanzee testicle?” The ability for chimps to reproduce frequently is just as important as their ability to think. According to Machanda, human males compete less, which changed these proportions. (Although some females who attended the lecture strongly suggested this was up for debate.)

3. Sometimes quantity is just as important as quality.

Quality can never be overrated, but when it comes to chimps, the good, old-fashioned quickie is key. Not that it doesn’t take a certain amount of patience. According to Machanda, who videotaped chimpanzee interaction in Uganda, male chimpanzees are experts in persistence. “He’s been shaking that tree for half an hour waiting for her to come down,” she said, showing a video of a male chimp coaxing a female from a tree. Eventually, his patience paid off. But when all is said and done, chimpanzee sex lasts a whopping eight seconds—less time than it takes to read this paragraph. This time frame allows females to have sex up to 50-60 times per day.

4. Don’t rule out the cougars.

According to Machanda, both human and chimpanzee males discriminate by age. “Human males are really interesting,” said Machanda. “It is almost always the younger, the better.” Chimps on the other hand, prefer to put age before beauty. “If you are a male chimp,” she said, “the oldest, sagging breasts female—that is your Venus.” Why? According to Machanda, the oldest females have proven their fertility, which makes them more desirable mates.

5. Attraction makes us civilized.

The defining factor between primate and human sexual interactions rests in the hands of the females. “One of the biggest differences with humans is that human females are permanently attracted to the males,” said Machanda. Instead of only desiring companionship during ovulation, human females are attracted to their mates at any point in the month. According to Machanda, “That has a lot of implications for our social system.” And our sex lives. It is this difference that allows humans to bond in pairs for life, and what makes our sexual practices distinct from our primate kin. “The human condition is very interesting in terms of sexual behavior,” Machanda said. “That is really, strikingly different.”

Machanda’s lecture was the first of three on evolution, as part of the Harvard Museum of Natural History’s, “Summer Nights at the Museum.” The next event, “Life’s a Niche,” will be held July 16. For more information, click here.

Below, you’ll find some of this season’s hottest picks, for you girlfriend, boyfriend, mom, kids or whomever you may like. These are original ideas, that won’t hurt your bank account.

Her.

Looking to buy some intimate apparel that you and your girl can appreciate together, but not into Victoria’s Secret and high prices? Affinitas Intimates could be the solution for you. Sweet or sexy, Affinitas sells lingerie from 16 different collections from $8-45 . Headquartered in Los Angeles, the company’s French-design team creates all the pieces that are sold at select on-line stores nationwide.

Belli Skincare, specifically designed for pregnant women, new moms and babies, is the only skin care product in the world that is teratology screened, making it one of the safest products for prenatal care. The skin care line has products to treat stretchmarks, diaper rash, and dark under-eye circles from all of those sleepless nights rocking the baby to sleep. Visit the line’s website for more info, product listings, and to shop their different lines; belli pregnancy, belli baby and belli motherhood.

Whether you’re trying to swaddle a finicky baby and prevent it from crying or you’re hoping to keep your baby comfortable and warm for naptime, SwaddleDesigns has created special Valentine’s day-inspired blankets. SwaddleDesigns are stylish baby blankets, putting a fashionable spin on baby essentials, which make a perfect gift for new parents. Loved by celebrities, like Tori Spelling and the Jolie-Pitts, they also have everything from zzZip Me Sacks, stroller blankets, and bibs to organic cotton or cashmere blankets and gift sets.

If you’re looking to buy something outside of the realm of the bedroom for your lady, Yahoo has compiled a list of wallet-friendly traditional gifts too. Everything from earrings to perfume and flowers (even suggested bouquets) are listed.

Him.

For the special man in your life cologne and watches are always a nice gift, but trying something new is always more exciting. If your guy is a sports fan but tickets are expensive and hard to come by, try some television packages. Comcast offers an NFL Network, college sports packages, and just about every other sport you can think of -so your better half will never miss a game and be able to watch from the comfort of his own couch. Check your local listings for prices online, (packages cost about $100).

If your guy isn’t into sports, electronics have been on sale since the economy took a turn for the worst. Online and branch stores are offering great deals on DVDs, blu-ray disk players, digital cameras and more. If he is somewhat of a male fashionista, Karmaloop, the trendy clothing, sneaker and accessory line, is also having a 30 percent off sale. Their items are good enough for Kanye West so they will be good for your man too.

Looking for a couples gift or want to share something together? Call up your local hotel and ask about overnight or weekend couples packages. It’s the off-season for hotels, and with the economy still at a low-point, hotels are doing everything they can to attract business. Couples packages often include couples massages, restaurant deals and of course, champagne.

Finally, for the couple who might not want to work things out, a new voicemail service, slydial, will be ideal. Slydial allows you to connect directly to someone’s voicemail, skipping the waiting, the ringing and the risk of your ex answering. The creator of the product, MobileSphere, has applications for iPhones, Blackberrys, and Windows Mobile. Since it’s launch just 3 months ago, slydial has had more than one million calls placed through the service. Just dial 267-SLYDIAL and follow the prompts.

So how do most lesbians like to celebrate Valentine’s Day and what should you bestow upon your sweetheart to keep those flames burning? According to a third of the 1,700 lesbian respondents, the number one most wanted gift was a romantic weekend getaway.

If that’s out of the budget you could always consider the next two most popular wishes. Simply some loving kisses or, for something more rigorous, a full body massage with essential oils.  For those more inclined in the kitchen she’d probably be content with a home-cooked candlelight dinner, an option more favored than taking her out for a meal.

If none of the above appeal your lover, you are starting to get into dangerous waters.  The rest of the preferences were chosen by 5 percent or less, although it seems hard to argue with their choice,  who said they would love to receive a poem written just for them.

Surprisingly a dozen red roses, a champagne bubble bath or a box of chocolates are just not going to cut it. Forget the practical approach such as a hardware store gift certificate too, that will get you nowhere. And don’t even surprise her with a ring, only 2 percent of women chose that option.

So, all things considered, it seems you need to save your pennies, pack the lip balm and candles, and get your maps out to start planning that weekend trip. If you combine the top four most popular Valentine desires you will be golden.

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are on the rise and a diverse range of people are involved. About 15 million people in the United States consider themselves to be in some form of LDR, according to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. Of those, 3.6 million are married people who live apart for reasons other than marital discord, and about 4 million are college students in some form of premarital LDR, studies show.

“Greater economic migration, online dating, the need to travel for work and increased military deployment have all contributed to the increase in the number of LDRs in our culture,“ says Michelle Callahan, celebrity relationship expert, developmental psychologist and co-host of the hit reality-show competition “Queen Bees” on The N. “Commuter marriages and the concept of ‘living apart, together’ are gaining social acceptance. Society has accepted long distance relationships as viable options.”

Contrary to what was once popular belief, studies have shown that long distance relationships can, and often do, succeed — at least as well as relationships in which the couples live together or live close to each other. Nor are couples in LDRs any more likely to cheat on each other than are “proximal” couples, although the LDR mates do tend to worry more about the risk of an affair, studies show.

So how do you make your long distance relationship work? Callahan offers 10 simple tips to manage long distance relationships:

1. Understand your relationship.

Don’t make assumptions about the exclusivity of your relationship. Get to know each other well and when the time is right, discuss where things are going. Try to be understanding of your partner’s needs and whether a long distance relationship is going to work for each of you.

2. Communicate regularly

Whether by phone, e-mail, webcam, etc., share the mundane and routine as well as the special and significant.

3. Use technology.

Video chat programs such as ooVoo have become best friends to those in LDRs since you can connect to anyone in the world for free. Connecting face-to-face is significantly more intimate than having a phone conversation. You can see your loved one, read his or her body language and pick up on subtle messages that can be lost over the phone or misinterpreted completely via e-mail or instant messaging. In addition to enabling you to chat live with your sweetheart over the Internet, ooVoo also allows you to record one-minute video messages to send to your loved one. Visit www.ooVoo.com to learn more.

4. Do things together despite the distance.

Watch a TV show or movie simultaneously and video chat about it after or during. Read a book at the same time. Exchange recipes and prepare meals at the same time while on the phone or on ooVoo. Parents can use video chat to read to their children.

5. Send care packages every once in awhile.

Pack it with unexpected surprises that remind them of you, like books, music, puzzles, candies, flowers, gift cards, a movie ticket or a personalized poem. The more personalized you make the gifts, the more impact they will have.

6. Remind yourself of the advantages of being apart.

That’s including more time with friends and family, no arguments over bathroom time or conflicting habits, the ability to maintain your individuality, possible financial benefits and the pleasure of seeing your loved one again after a long absence.

7. Don’t be afraid to disagree.

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship and can be healthy if managed properly. When it’s time to confront your partner, do so over video chat rather than by phone or e-mail. Written communication can be misconstrued and never taken back, and verbal conversations alone lack the visual cues needed in emotional situations.

8. Visit as often as budgets and schedules allow.

But avoid placing too much pressure on physical meetings. If a visit does not go well, it doesn’t mean the end of the relationship. Even close proximity relationships go through peaks and valleys.

9. Be realistic.

Jealousy, over-control and drama are poison to a relationship. Be realistic — just because you can’t be together all the time doesn’t mean either of you should live in social isolation. Accept that your partner needs an active social life, just as you do.

10. Know when to call it a day.

We’ve all stayed in relationships after they have ceased to be healthy, and LDRs are especially susceptible to the problem since warning signs can be missed or confrontation avoided.

“Like traditional, close-proximity relationships, long distance relationships require hard work and communication,” Callahan says. “But with modern technology making it easier than ever to stay in touch with loved ones, there’s no reason why you and your significant other can’t enjoy a very happy life together … apart.”

Courtesy of ARAcontent

Australian Social Security entitlements, Medicare health care, tax, and employment benefits were some of the areas where gay and lesbian couples would receive equal rights.

Openly gay Labor Senator Penny Wong said her government had followed through on last year’s election promises to remove discrimination from Australian Commonwealth laws.

“They deliver, on an important day for us, on a very important election commitment”, she said. ”More importantly, they will deliver the sort of equality before the law that same-sex couples have never previously experienced.”

Liberal opposition Senator George Brandis acknowledged the significance of the bills saying they would complete law reform in the area of same-sex relationships which began 40 years ago when homosexual relationships were decriminalized. Senator Bob Brown, leader of the Australian Greens party and also openly gay, was not so commending. While he commended the  recognition of rights, he was scathing for the  lack of leadership to include equality in same-sex marriage.

“Both the older parties have a task to undertake: to communicate better with the Australian community and to understand that the pressure coming from sectional groups, minority groups, to sanction marriage for all couples regardless has great public support”, Brown said.

A poll taken by Australasia’s largest online lesbian dating and community site Pink Sofa supported Senator Brown’s sentiments with 88 per cent of the more than 4000 respondents wanting same sex marriages legalized. Website member Jenny Ball was thrilled with the outcome but also wanted more.

“This really is a milestone for the Australian Gay and Lesbian Community and is something that has been long-awaited and now brings us in line with a number of other forward-thinking countries,” Ball said.  ”The next key step is for the government to ratify the laws that currently prevent same-sex marriage, thereby removing the final piece of discrimination and marginalization against the community”.

Marriage for same-sex couples remains on the horizon however with the Labour Government as well as the opposition parties refusing to be swayed by public opinion.

Boston, home of Blast, was ranked lucky 7. Just barely beating New York City. To determine the rankings, Forbes looked at 40 of the largest cities in the US and ranked them according to “coolness, cost of living alone, culture, job growth, online dating, nightlife and number of singles”. Although some categories might leave you a little skeptical (”coolness” was determined by a poll that simply asked “Among the following U.S. cities, which one do you think is the coolest?”), the rankings are pretty interesting. Boston seems to fit rather fairly into the number 7 slot with a population of 4,058,570, with 29.09% of it being single.

Amongst the the criteria for ranking was online dating and Sam Yagan, owner of OkCupid.com and CrazyBlindDate.com which has a “chapter” in Boston, would have expected Boston to rank higher.

“It surprises me a little bit. I thought Boston would rank higher, just because there are so many young singles there and it’s such an easy place to be out and about,” Yagan said. Boston is one of the most popular cities on OKCupid.com for people between 18 and 34 he explained. 

“The colleges absolutely have something to do with it. People who are in school are always dating – they are living in a dating bubble -there are lots of opportunities to get together, whether it’s parties or research around campus, and they have much more flexible schedule,” Yagan added, “On the other hand, the nightlife does tend to end a little early.”

That seems to be the main downside to Boston. Young adults are willing to stay out all night, but don’t really get that opportunity with Boston’s early bedtime – unlike New York, Las Vegas , and Miami, where the nightlife never ends. Boston’s saving grace in this category is its people. The night might end early, but the quality of the company might be a little higher than in other cities according to the polls. 

“I’ve been single in both cities [Boston and New York] and I run a dating sight which also gives me insight,” Yagan said, “and I think that obviously NY nightlife goes much later, it’s usually 4 o’clock before most places think about closing, but Boston is more accessible and more casual. They’re not worried quite as much about what you wear, and in NY people are more focused on flaunting their wealth”.

Michael Winter, promoter for Saint one of Boston’s popular clubs, agrees. “As far as the people go, our people [Bostonians] tend to run clubs all over the country. Our people tend to be a lot more street smart and book smart. If you go to Vegas, a lot of the nightclubs there are run by Boston kids. I think we have a smarter breed … most of these kids have college degrees to boot. We’re a lot more real.”

Bostonians are apparently a lot more cultured, too, ranking second only to Los Angeles in the ranking’s categories. The Theatre District, array of musical groups and venues ranging from The Boston Symphony Orchestra to The Paradise have a lot to offer in the way of cultural diversity.

As Mark Twain once wrote, “In New York they ask ‘how much money does he have?’ In Philadelphia, they ask, ‘who were his parents?’ In Boston they ask, ‘how much does he know?’”. Boston is a thriving city of culture and colleges and a great place to meet other singles if you’re willing to spend a little quality time in a library or cafe rather than the discos.

Your arms.

What to say about your arms? The comfort and warmth
they gave. The habit and tolerance they eventually
came to represent.

Now, I don’t have those arms. I have no expectation,
no routine. I have no worries or concerns.

It was hard to give up those arms, that smile, those
eyes; which I came to realize did not care for me as
much as I cared back. At the same time, its nice to
meet new arms, new smiles, new eyes; that prove to me
I can be liked.

Peace at the fact that other arms can provide that
comfort and warmth, without asking for more in return,
brings me joy. Happiness over knowing that custom
shouldn’t be stronger than love, gives me hope.

Now, I can think of the past and not miss those arms.
I have new arms that welcome me, with an open heart.

The Valentine’s Date Outfit Guide for Her

For an upscale affair, the little black dress is always a winner. Want a spicy, jaw-dropping look that will make that special someone notice you? Make it caliente with red, which is commonly looked upon as the color of love and passion. You will stand out in a room swarming with little black dresses. For this type of affair, keep the outfit traditional but add accessories to give it a special touch. For example, turn a hot necklace into a belt, wear appropriate but awesome shoes and carry an over-the-top purse. Make it your outfit, not the designer’s.

A casual chic affair, like a club or classy restaurant has much fewer restrictions, but let the jeans stay home tonight. Step it up a bit by wearing form-fitting fabrics that bring out your feminine charm. This date is about him being the man and you being the woman. The right clothes will give you a really flirty approach to the evening and you’ll have a great time. Love comes when you least expect it, so just enjoy the evening and let the chips fall where they may.

On a casual date, pair a sexy low-cut top of a soft, feminine color with the most flattering jeans you can find. Finish the look with amazing black pumps. The silhouette that you create will give you a taller, slimmer look. No one will be able to resist staring at this fabulous you. Couple it with a fashionable handbag and a pair of sunglasses.

The Valentine’s Date Outfit Guide for Him

Upscale, black-tie events for a man require a suit or tux. There is no way around it! Make yourself stand out with red accessories. If you have the personality to pull off wearing red shoes, it might get you the girl that likes that sort of thing. Select a cologne that smells great on you, this will definitely give you added sex appeal.

A man on a casual/chic date should wear dress slacks, a crew neck shirt and leather slip-on shoes as a foundation. A button-down shirt on top of the crew neck creates the boy next door look. A blazer for a power look, and a leather jacket makes for a bad boy look. Prefer a more urban feel? Add a ¾ length jacket. This creates a place to start that has endless possibilities. The tailored jeans are still in, and a nice jacket will complete the look.

The accessories that you select makes all the difference in the world: choose a Tag Heuer or Fossil watch, a platinum ring and a belt and shoe color that match and you’re good to go.

Casual date attire begins with jeans and a white t-shirt, and you build from there. This is a great foundation to achieve a variety of looks. Adding a button-down shirt with just the bottom few closed will get you a preppy look. Add an oversized button-down to get a street look. You can go with a black leather jacket and black square toe slip-on shoes for a more manly look.

Decide what look that you want to have and add the accessories that make the grade. Eyewear/sunglasses can add a certain level, if that’s what you’re going for. She’ll be trying hard to impress you, so try to match the effort.

Blush Group LLC, provides its customers with ‘the art of sensual living’. Is this group the sponsor of the gift club or what? Creator Miller Canning’s idea was to design products that make her customers feel good. In addition to selling sex-related items, she offers gifts like sweet smelling soaps, bubble baths and an urban strip aerobics DVD led by a fitness expert.

“Our company tries to stay away from novelty items and focus on helping women and couples find quality products to enhance their sex lives,” said Canning.

Blush’s gift clubs are its signature items and have become the pillar of its success. Blush’s initial club, The Dirty Book Club, provides customers with a new, erotic book each month. While The Dirty Book Club satisfies customers’ reading pleasures, The Sexy Gift of the Month Club, provides customers with a sexy surprise to look forward to.

Imagine receiving a present every month that delights one of the five senses. Blush offers four, different packages of sexy gifts to bring excitement into the bedroom. Choose from the “Mood Setter” ($35.00), “Romantic Surprises” ($40.00), “Erotic Adventures” ($50.00), or “Premium” ($115.00). After starting the club in December 2005, the club has earned fans.

“I think the club appeals to anyone who wants to explore their sexuality, but is nervousabout going into a public store where they can be seen,” said Canning. “Also, I think people who view sex as play and sensuality as something that is on the inside aremore apt to choose the club.”

On the other hand, the Sexy Gift of the Month Club seeks to help customer’s become more open to their sexuality.

“It’s a great opportunity to not be responsible for pushing a partner to try something that he or she normally might not have tried. A recipient can just say, ‘hey, it’s here, so let’s try it.’ We give them the freedom to test boundaries with little embarrassment or guilt,” added Canning.

With household sex toy parties on the rise and more and more people becoming interested in freely expressing their sexuality, the Sexy Gift of the Month Club provides a new outlet for eroticism.

“Typically people order 3-6 months, but we love the folks who re willing to try new products for a year. I think you get more variety and many more options to explore,” said Canning. Best sellers include the “Original Rabbit Pearl,” ($78.00) “Lily,” ($134.00) “Accuvibe,” ($68.00) as well as “O’My Natural Lubricant” ($16.50/$26.50) and a striptease dance DVD, “Strip To It” ($24.00).

“When I watch an Oprah show that is covering sexuality I listen to her audience and see how well our products map to their needs,” said Canning.

The Sexy Gift Club of the Month aspires to make every day feel like Valentine’s Day and every relationship feel exciting and sensual.

“Imagine a surprise once a month that reminds you to slow down…or speed up,” said Canning.

We have Valentine’s Day to worry about this month, but Blast has you covered with gift ideas and tips and a candy/dessert gallery to die for. We also had Sean and Cat act out a fight–so it’s just the perfect Valentine’s Day!

Something that captured the essence of V-Day and the hype over finding the right gift and booking the correct restaurant. We wanted to change it up.

So we had our models fight.

Enjoy.

Captions/text by John Guilfoil, photos by Aram Boghosian, both of the Blast Magazine staff