Adobuere Ebiama, artistic director and co-founder of Can't Wait Productions

Adobuere Ebiama is talented and she knows it. She knows some other talented people from her native Dorchester too, like actress Gabriella Ciambrone. The two attended The Boston Arts Academy together. After a few years of ups and downs in the Boston theater scene, Ebiama decided she couldn’t wait around to be “discovered.” She has passion, skills, training and a network and that should be enough to start making the kind of theater she wanted work on and to see. She took her vision to Gabriella and together they founded Can’t Wait Productions.

Now in production for their first full season, the mission of Can’t Wait is to showcase local talent, tell the stories of the underrepresented and draw audiences of the kinds of people Ebiama and Ciambrone grew up with—people who may not have had the means or the inspiration to sit in the plush seats of the established Boston theaters where they might have been deeply moved.

Ebiama spoke to Blast about her “Can’t Wait” epiphany and the company’ s first season.

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BLAST: So what made you decide to strike out on your own?

EBIAMA: I think it was part of my impatience…

BLAST: Hence the name of the company?

EBIAMA: Yeah, (laughs) Can’t Wait Productions. A lot of artists, especially actors and performers, have this idea that I’m going to go to this specific city, like New York or L.A., and I’m going to make it—someone’s going to discover me—and they’re waiting for the right time and the right person to do something. I think that a lot of times talent gets wasted in the wait, because you could sit around waiting forever for someone to find you, and to figure out how special you are as an artist, but I prefer to create the opportunity for myself. I’ve had this energy for a while now and not known what to do with it because I’m waiting to use it for a show.  I should be using it all the time.

Of course I’m still auditioning. I’m still sending out headshots–all that jazz. But I don’t feel like I’m lying dormant, waiting for someone else to take control of my career. I feel like Can’t Wait Productions wants to make that theme apparent—that you can take control of you own career. I want to do the work that I want to see. When I’m looking for castings and that sort of thing, a lot of the same type of shows are being produced—and there are so many things, so many ideas that I have for the kinds of things that should be produced but are not.

BLAST: Like what?

EBIAMA: I grew up in Dorchester and the people that I know, their stories aren’t being told. I’d like to go to the theater and feel like I can relate to what I’m seeing more rather than feeling so detached.

BLAST: What kinds of stories?

EBIAMA: Stories of inner city. Stories of people of color that aren’t always tragic. Stories of Boston. There’s a chunk of people like me who just aren’t being represented enough.

BLAST: So are you looking for a lot of new works?

EBIAMA: We would like to use original works for Can’t Wait Productions because there are a lot of artists out there and a lot of new playwrights that have something to say in Boston and we would like to give them an opportunity to use our stage to tell their stories and that’s what we’re doing with our first season. They’re all original plays written by three women from Boston.

Another part of it is I really want to give actors in Boston who at least don’t know how to get themselves started, a foot in the door—maybe try to cast some actors who maybe haven’t been in too many shows—but are of course still right for the characters—give them that opportunity.

BLAST: Tell me about the first season. What are these three plays about? How did you find these playwrights?

EBIAMA: Well the first play is The Inside by Tasia Jones and Lydia R. Diamond. That’s about a 23-year-old black college student. It’s a one-woman show and she’ kind navigating her way through a post-collegiate party. [It’s] her inner monologue and her inner thoughts about the relationships that she has: her past relationships with men, her present friendships. It’s kind of like some of the things we all think about when we’re in our early 20’s and walking through a party… just observing and analyzing why you’re in these relationships, the people around you, and seeing how that effects you personally. It’s funny. And it’s interactive which I love. It breaks that third wall with the audience.

The second show is set for June. It’s by Paloma Venezuela. It’s called “Show Up.” Paloma is a good friend, who’s teaching in the D.R. right now. She went to school with Gabriella and I at Boston Arts Academy. She also went to Emerson. She’s an amazing playwright and screenwriter.

[“Show Up” is] about what would happen if all of the video vixens in these music videos that we see every day—if they dissapear. So it’s a comedy but it also has this underlying drama. Because it’s so easy every day to just—you watch television and it’s easy to see these women and have a certain perception of who they are based on how they dance and what they look like, but what she’s done is created a play [which] takes on their role and their understanding and their opinions and thoughts as women in these videos. So it’s entertaining, and it’s fun, and it’s light, but it also has some very specific opinions. We’re using multimedia in the piece.

BLAST: Video?

EBIAMA: Video and music—we’re hoping to have an original soundtrack of Boston musicians. So that’s “Show Up.” I’m thinking of directing that myself. We’ll see.

The last play is “Wednesday Double by Gabriella Ciambrone, our co-founder. She’s been working on this piece for a while. It’s about another young college student. A beautiful young waitress/bartender. And it’s set in this little café—this lounge where she’s constantly having to dismiss advances from patrons. [It’s about] how she’s working her way through school and the relationship between her and her customers. It touches on sexual harassment, what’s ok, what’s not ok—does she want this attention?

So the overall theme for this season, which kind of happened by accident, is the inner thoughts of women.  These are women from Boston so I think people from Boston can relate. Sometimes you think to yourself, “is anyone else thinking about this?”

BLAST: Who do you think your audience will be. Do you have a target?

EBIAMA: Well because we’d like to do the shows in Dorchester we really want the people that we grew up with to see the shows. We’d really like to get people 20-30.We want young people in our community to come out and see what we’re doing. That there is a way to channel your artistic energy toward something that you enjoy—we want to show the community that we are two 24-year-olds who created this company, and we want to bring art to you. You don’t have to troop all the way to Downtown Boston to see a good show. We can bring good theater to you, and you can come, and you don’t have to pay $30 for a ticket, and it can be good.

BLAST: What do you think theater can do for the community?

EBIAMA: I think it can give you a way to really channel your energy into something positive. I don’t know what I would be doing with all of this time and energy that I have spent organizing Can’t Wait Productions if I wasn’t doing it. I think a lot of times when people don’t know what to do with themselves they do—a lot of other things—reckless things, you know? When you have something positive you’re working toward—even if you don’t end up doing it for the rest of your life…at least your exercising your mind in some way.

Theater opens up so many great conversations.  If you see a great play you could be talking about it for days or weeks, it could open up political discussions or social ideas. I think a lot of times communities—I mean I’m not a politican or a psychologist or anything—but I think a lot of times in communities, at least where I grew up, people don’t talk about things. They don’t know who to take their ideas to. But I think if you create a base, and a foundation and a presence, rather than them feeling so separate form it, it will create a positive impact.

And it can be entertaining. It doesn’t have to be that deep. It can just be a place that you come on the weekends and you know that the company is there and they’ll bring you a great show and it’ll make your night.

Alan Brinks and Erin Markey in "Green Eyes"

It’s as sexy and dangerous feeling as it gets. A tantalizing bit of voyeurism mixed with first-rate drama.

In their Boston-premier staging of this long-lost 1970 work by Tennessee Williams, Company One takes you to an intimate hotel room several floors up in the historic Ames Building between Downtown Crossing and the Business District.

Seated in one of 25 chairs, you are cordially introduced to your hostess, a femme fatale on her honeymoon (Erin Markey) who soon reveals the naked, bruised body, over which the evening’s argument will be fought.

Why the bruises? That’s what her husband (Alan Brinks), a sullen soldier on leave from Korea, wants to know. Between whiskey swigs, cigarette drags and clenched teeth, he accuses her of slinking off with another man on their wedding night while he was near blotto in a Bourbon Street bar. She parries that the bruises are his doing, and the fantasy, akin to the others he’s been slipping in and out of due to P.T.S.D. Each argument feels persuasive as they roll and tumble for dominance with seduction and violence the alternating currents of their long morning after.

The mortal combat of the sexes is timeless (and dramatized by none better than this master) but “Green Eyes” also zeroes in on 1950’s American gender roles (against which we’re still reacting), by showing the torture a soldier goes through when told he must enact violence against his instincts and without provocation in a foreign land and yet remain restrained and stoic in the face of ultimate provocation in the domestic sphere. Meanwhile, his wife vies for what power she is allowed through mastery of the most powerful weapon at her disposal: her sexuality.

“Green Eyes” is electric and unforgettable—and Company One is really on a roll.

Directed by Travis Chamberlain, “Green Eyes” plays through February 26.

Thanks to the Gallo Family Vineyard, a romantic Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to break the bank. Some inexpensive–but good!–wine and homemade dessert can make your evening sweet and sensible. The Moscato, a light-bodied wine with flavors of peach, honey and citrus, and Sweet Red, a light to-medium-bodied wine with flavors of apple, pear and tropical fruit, are just $5 a bottle, and pair perfectly with the below Gallo Family Vineyard’s signature recipes.

Fresh Pear Torta

It’s ironic and perhaps heartbreaking that the woman who helped create an industry based on love and romance never seemed to experience those things in her own life.

It was said that Miss Esther Howland, dubbed the “Mother of the American Valentine,” lived vicariously through her card empire. To this day, she is often credited as the brain child behind the production of the first elaborate, European-style, hand-assembled valentines in America.

Today’s multi-billion-dollar greeting card industry is indebted to her foresight and talent.
I had never heard about Esther Howland until recently, but her story – which I stumbled upon while surfing the internet – intrigued me and captured my imagination.

Esther was born in 1828 and grew up in Worcester, Massachusetts. In 1847, she graduated from Mount Holyoke Female Seminary (now Mount Holyoke College). She was 19. Under the tutelage of Mary Lyon, the school’s progressive founder, Esther excelled in her studies, perhaps determined to follow the advice of her teacher who told her students to “go where no one else will go, do what no one else will do.”

After graduation, Esther received an elaborate English valentine from one of her father’s business associates. Was it a declaration of his love for her? No one knows for sure. And although Esther was said to be impressed by the card, she was certain she could do better.

As the story goes, Esther convinced her father, Southworth Allen Howland, owner of a successful bookstore and stationery shop, based in Worcester, to order lace paper and other supplies from England and New York City. From these materials, she made a dozen valentine samples, which her brother, a traveling salesman for the family store, added to his book and stationery catalog for his next sales trip.

Esther was stunned when her brother returned home with more than $5,000 (the equivalent of about $150,000 in 2012) in advance sales. Bolstered by this demand, she laid out plans for production, organizing an all-female assembly line. And like that, Esther’s valentine venture, which produced beautiful cards at a wide range of prices, was born. Advertising and word-of-mouth led to a $100,000 per year business (the equivalent of millions today).

Esther’s entrepreneurial vision was considered revolutionary, not only from a feminist standpoint (at that time few women started businesses) but also from the perspective of the American valentine industry – one that had been sorely lacking in grace, elegance, and beauty.

Although much was written about Esther’s impressive business successes, other aspects of her existence were a bit hazier.

Unfortunately, my internet sleuthing left me empty-handed when it came to some of the more intimate details of Esther’s life. My imagination getting the better of me, I began to creatively fill in the blanks. What was Esther like in her personal life? How did she really feel about love and romance? Did she have many suitors? Why did she never marry? Were the lines on the inside of her cards, such as the following, inspired by a real-life romance?

Love/or Love Deal’ youth

I read it in your eyes.

Or was Esther simply more interested in the romance of business than in the business of romance? Did she ultimately sacrifice one for the other? Without knowing the real specifics of her life, other than the fact that she was confined to a wheelchair at 38 and died single and unmarried at 76, I was left to imagine the answers to these particular questions.

I envisioned a rich but lonely woman staring out a window as she formulated the poetic words to be written inside her elaborate lace creations, words that she would never fully be able to comprehend. Maybe the closest thing to Eros in her life was the fantastical world of other people’s romances. Maybe she was content surrounding herself with the idea of love and was too busy running a valentine card empire to make room for a little romance of her own. Maybe Esther made the choice of career over love. Would she have been able to succeed in her business if she had chosen to also get married, raise children, and take care of a home?

As I continued to reflect on what I knew of Esther’s life and what I imagined it to be, it dawned on me that her legacy was truly what mattered. Because of Esther and, certainly, women like her, who proved to many that a female could successfully forge paths outside of hearth and home, it became possible for future generations of women to do the same. Esther’s ambition enabled today’s woman to have more choices in life, to realize her potential, to choose her own destiny.

If Esther consciously and purposefully made this sacrifice, it turns out it was more than just a personal one; it was a sacrifice for female posterity, a sacrifice that ultimately helped other women gain the ability to, in the words of her old Mount Holyoke teacher, “go where no one else will go, do what no one else will do.”

For your sacrifice, Esther, this is my valentine to you.

Dear Neely,

Sincerely,
Lover Boy, Boston, MA

Takeaway points:

• 40 seconds: The amount of time you’ve been with someone is a factor, but try thinking less about WHEN you should say I love you and more about WHY you want to say it and you will have your answer.
• 54 seconds: There are 3 times when you shouldn’t say I love you. Tune in to hear what I have to say.
• 2:07: When you can feel really good about saying I love you.
• 2:47: A lot of times women are advised to let the man say I love you first. I explain why.
• 3:25: It should be less about gender and more about your motive for saying it.
• 3:45: The worst that can happen is that the other person doesn’t say it back but if you were saying it for the right reasons, at least you stayed true to the honest feelings you had. See this Seinfeld clip for George’s dilemma:

Submit your dating/relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com.

It’s ok if your Valentines this year are Ben and Jerry, but friends don’t let friends spend the night at a pity party. Instead, grab your single friends and scope out these local events for a good time–you may even find your next date!

A Very Fine Valentine: The Timberfakes at Hard Rock Café

Since Justin Timberlake still won’t make any new music despite desperate internet pleas he do so, The Timberfakes, a Boston-based Justin Timberlake tribute band, have stepped in to bring sexy back to downtown Boston. With a set list that includes material from JT’s N*SYNC days, solo career and SNL spoofs, the Timberfakes playing at the Hard Rock Café (24 Clinton St., Boston) will make you feel 15 again. Friday, Feb. 10; 8 p.m., 21+ only. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door.

Revolutionary Chocolate at the Old State House

Head down to the Old State House (206 Washington Street in downtown Boston) with your history buff friends for an after-hours demonstration of 18th century chocolate making. Enjoy sampling the aforementioned historically accurate candies, because calories consumed for educational purposes don’t count towards that New Year’s Resolution you made. Ingest some interesting tidbits about Boston’s chocolate history while being guided on a candlelit tour of the tower, and see items from the collection rarely displayed in the museum. Friday, Feb. 17; 6 p.m. Tickets $7.50.

Mortified’s Doomed Valentine’s Day Show

Remember the painfully embarrassing puppy-love-and-war things you used to angstily scribble about in that Lisa Frank journal you were convinced was as secure as Fort Knox, but really your entire family knew about the push-button release? Don’t miss this special love themed event at the Coolidge (290 Harvard St., Brookline), featuring regular men and women “sharing their most hilariously embarrassing diary entries, lyrics, poems, and artwork from their teenage years…from unrequited high-school crushes and tumultuous off-and-on romances to bad prom dates and awkward sexual firsts.” You might be single, but you’ll be thankful you don’t have to live through that again! Monday, Feb. 13, 7:30 p.m. Tickets $15 in advance, $18 at the door, students with valid ID $12. 

Valentine’s Crawl with Crawl in Boston

Crawl in Boston is a social networking group that organizes bar crawls as a way for people to meet and explore the city, and, by asking for donations from each crawler, also raises money for local charities such as Horizons for Homeless Children, or this crawl’s beneficiary, the Hattie B. Cooper Center, which provides educational services to underprivileged children and families in Roxbury.  The Valentine’s Crawl is advertised as the biggest of the year and offers $3 drink specials–not to mention Crawl in Boston also claims to be responsible for at least five weddings! Check their Facebook event page for a list of bars, more info and to RSVP. Come on, it’s for the children, right? Saturday, Feb., 11; 12:30 p.m. to 8 p.m., $5. 

Project Cupid

Project Cupid is a charity fundraiser, so you can feel good about paying for a date. Boston’s most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, including former NESN sportscaster Heidi Watney, will strut their stuff on the auction block at The Estate (1 Boylston Place, Boston) to raise funds for the Jimmy Fund and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Winning bidders get a dinner date with their “prize” at a local restaurant. There will also be auctions and raffles for sporting events and memorabilia, hotel stays, spa services and more. Saturday, Feb., 11; 6:30 p.m. $15 suggested donation at the door, with all proceeds going to charity.

Boston could not ask for more great drama this weekend. Even before a certain athletic competition commences against a team from a certain noteworthy adjacent metropolis, our fair city offers us one last chance to see three remarkable productions of deservedly award-winning plays.

“God of Carnage”

by Yazmenia Retha (translated by Christopher Hampton)

directed by Daniel Goldstein

presented by Huntington Theatre Company

The playwright who brought us “Art,” the tale of two men shifting out of a mentor/protégée relationship and into contention in their middle age, thanks to the catalyst of an expensive abstract painting, comes another tale of squabbling grown-ups.

Off-stage, two children have an altercation on the schoolyard. One has knocked a tooth loose from the other with a stick.

The aggressor’s repressed mother and ostentatiously unscrupulous, cel-phone-addicted father pay a visit to the parents of the victim: two liberals, dripping with self-righteousness, in an apartment cramped with pretentious artifacts which advertise their simultaneous affinities for  the primitive and the sophisticated.

As the couples jockey to see who can come off as the most magnanimous, veneers are stripped bare, alliances are formed and trashed, booze is swilled, insults are hurled and furniture is vomited on and anesthetized. It’s a beautiful spectacle of the socially grotesque, all the more amusing in that you know each and every one of these people—in fact you probably are one of them.

Karl Baker Olson (left) and Thomas Derrah (right) in a scene from the SpeakEasy Stage Company production of Red. Photo: Craig Bailey.

RED by John Logan

directed by David R. Gammons 

presented by Speakeasy Stage Company

RED is a story about Mark Rothko, the great modern painter whom you may, if you’re honest, know as the” solid-color-with-solid-color-stripes, guy. If you’ve seen “a Rothko” in person though, there’s a good chance you were moved by it. They are almost eerily soulful, passionate and affecting compositions.

Through the eyes of a young apprentice who lives out a classical, role-reversing servant/master relationship with Rothko, we watch the artist confront his defining challenge:  fulfilling a commission from the Seagram’s Corporation to create a series of murals for an obscenely posh restaurant in it’s shiny new skyscraper headquarters. Painting is holy for Rothko, and commerce heartless and filthy. It’s another classic conflict.

John Logan is a playwright at heart who has sold an impressive number of trashy screenplays to Hollywood, so this is a conflict with which he’s familiar. He paints Rothko as a capital “A” Artiste in way that can sometimes feel a bit contrived, but he—and Speakeasy’s inspired team of designers and actors—capture painting as a sacred ritual as compelling as an epic athletic competition, with the same strange, irrational feeling of gravity and consequence.  In the role of the eccentric tortured genius, Tommy Derrah shows off his tremendous presence, emotional range and self-effacing humor.

Superior Donuts, Lyric Stage

Superior Donuts by Tracy Letts

Directed by Spiro Veloudus

Lyric Stage Company

Two other masterful former mainstays of the A.R.T., Will LeBow and Karen MacDonald, join some fresh talent in making the characters in this slice of Chicago life unforgettable. LeBow plays an aging hippie of Polish descent, who since the untimely death of his wife, is languishing behind the counter of his recently vandalized donut shop, oblivious to the flirtations of MacDonald’s salt-of-the-earth, Irish “lady cop.”

That which the near-destruction of his shop fails to accomplish—a true shakeup of his life—is initiated by the arrival of a young, black, trickster figure, who is either an unappreciated novelist, a con man, or some combination of the two.

Steven Barkhimer is amusing as always in the role of a the winkingly Chekhovian Russian shop owner,who wants nothing more than to buy our hero’s donut shop in order to expand his adjoining electronics store.

Like RED, Superior Donuts falls back on it’s share of clichés, including some clunky soliloquies, but at its heart are completely winning characters who illustrate the positives and negatives of urban culture clash, and, like “God of Carnage,” “Superior Donuts” is genuinely and consistently funny.

Q: I’m a 26-year-old nice guy who really wants a girlfriend. Trouble is I feel as though women today don’t want nice guys. I see some of my guy friends treat women like crap and the women keep coming back to them. Unbelievable. Do I have to become a jerk to meet someone? Seems rather depressing.

Sincerely,
Nice guy reconsidering, Boston

Takeaway points:

• 34 seconds – Stay true to who you are! You don’t want someone falling for someone you’re not.
• 44 seconds – Definition of nice. Someone who is kind and thoughtful, not a pushover.
• 57 seconds – Most women don’t respect a man who they can take advantage of
• 1:10 – SECRET most guys don’t know about nice guys: Tune in to find out what it is.
• 2:22 – Nice guys can find a balance. You can still be nice, but take charge a little bit when out there dating, so the woman isn’t always calling the shots.
• 2:40 – Observe other men who strike that balance between being nice and remaining desirable to women. Those are the men you want to emulate.

Submit your dating/relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com.

We tend to go out to drink in order to unwind from the stress of the work week. Once in a while, however, people decide to use drinking as an added challenge in life, a sort of sudden sharp focus consisting of pain and punishment to ones taste buds in the name of pride and story (and occasionally a t-shirt.)

So it is with Poe’s Kitchen’s devil mix known as the Ghost Chili Margarita, an infamous drink with the claim that it is so hot, it cannot be finished without the use of heat-dulling aids. I, thoroughly representing Blast Magazine, took this challenge this Friday to see if the drink had the kick to back up the claim.

Before tasting begins, a waiver must be signed in to alleviate Poe’s Kitchen from responsibility of you harming yourself in the consumption of the drink. Once the proper signatures have been put on the proper lines, the drink is prepared. It looks almost childlike, a sort of cherry red mixture served up with a lime. There are warning signs though, including the bottle of tequila filled to the brim with sinister looking peppers used to mix the Margarita. There is also an unmarked red bottle, which squirts a thin red liquid that burns to smell, and a thin line of chili and habanero powder put on the rim in under the traditional salt.

But it’s a challenge for a reason. I said what nearly were my last words (“I’ve always loved my mother and Big Bang Theory isn’t funny!”) and took a drink.

There’s a certain state of mind that believes that if you are to complete this challenge, you must take it the entire drink in a single moment, in order to not allow the more cautious parts of your brain to tell you how suicidal that really is. So I sucked it through the straw in a single breath and then sit back proud of my accomplishment.

I looked at the bartenders and patrons and think you see faces of awe and excitement. Then it sunk in that these are faces of terror and alarm. Then it hit me.

The pain was something out of Dante; it was freezing cold and burning hot all at once, with just a hint of being stabbed for good measure.

I headed for the bathroom instinctively, and while it felt like the world was falling out from under me, enough focus eventually got me to the stall. From there, primal functions of my body’s self-preservation systems kicked in and everything that had gone in from the last 48 hours came out of any place with an opening. Luckily it went black after a while, and sweet, sweet unconsciousness kicked in.

I came to, stumbled out of the bathroom, paid my bill, and had a friend take me home before the ambulance likely showed up, and I would have had to explain to nice EMTs why they had to ride out to Boylston Street.

The challenge complete, I walked away under my own power with a story to tell and a possible ulcer to deal with.

As a drink goes, Poe’s Kitchen’s Ghost Chili Margarita packs a bit of a kick. If your insides happen to be replaced with the engine of a diesel truck, then it might be something to try out. If you want to enjoy what precious little time you have with your stomach lining however, you may want to try the Sam Brick Red.

Hi Neely,

Sincerely,
Upset by 180, Brighton

Takeaway points:

• 40 seconds: You are not alone!
• 55 seconds: Don’t beat yourself up over this. And try your hardest not to overanalyze the situation. You may never know what happened and you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.
• 1:50: Once you get back out there and start dating again, I promise you will find someone new with whom you have amazing chemistry and you will forget all about this guy.
• 2:00: When it comes to dating – ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!

Submit your dating/relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com.

What is it about sweat that turns us on? (Media credit/Yay Micro)

I’ve long been fascinated by the subject of pheromones, specifically in the context of sexual attraction. For those of you not familiar with the term: A pheromone, according to Wikipedia, is “a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species.” Much has been written about the role pheromones play in mating and attraction, including the infamous sweaty T-shirt study. In layman’s terms, though: Ever notice how you’re either attracted to or repulsed by a romantic interest’s natural scent? Well, there’s more to that than you may think.

I was excited to contact Eric Holzle for this article about his groundbreaking company Scientific Match (tagline: “The Science of Love”), which I discovered a few months ago but was founded in 2007. Holzle predicted his company would revolutionize the dating services industry by matching people based on non-matching DNA samples taken from their cheeks. He claimed that well-matched couples would enjoy each others’ natural scents, have more fun in bed, and bear healthier children than those who are genetically similar. Maybe so, but the company’s mating strategy never seemed to gain mainstream traction, its premise titillating but perhaps too far-fetched and impersonal for the romantically inclined (not to mention the service was probably pricey). I agree about the unromantic idea of it all – who wants to be matched with cells from a cheek swab? – but still remain fascinated by the role pheromones play in helping us, consciously and unconsciously, to select a suitable genetic match and curious about other, less clinical ways to harness the power of pheromones. (As an aside: If you really want your mind blown, consider the research that has found the birth control pill may be responsible for reversing a women’s natural sense of smell: That is, women on the Pill like more the smells (i.e. pheromones) that remind them of home and kin and thus are attracted to men with whom they’re genetically incompatible.)

Sadly, though, as I began to write this piece, I discovered Holzle had recently passed away. Shortly after my discovery, serendipitously perhaps, along came a representative from Love Scent who wrote to me via Twitter about the company. Here’s the even funnier part: More than two years ago, I had written about Love Scent on my old blog, in an entry entitled “The Nose Knows.” Essentially, the company’s concept is to sell sex pheromones in a bottle to help men and women attract that special someone. I don’t understand the science of it all but human pheromones can, apparently, be recreated in a laboratory. Love Scent then bottles those synthetically-created pheromones and sells them to the masses at various prices, depending on which product is desired.

There are several other companies that sell pheromones for the purpose of attracting mates, but Love Scent seems to be leading the pack. I don’t doubt their authenticity, so I asked them to send me some samples. A couple weeks later, I received several products, including The Edge towelettes (for women and men), Perception, Scent of Eros Unscented (unisex), Scent of Eros (for her), Chikara, Alter Ego (for him), and The Edge (for him). As the instructional sheet explained, their products range from pheromone colognes and scented concentrates to additive formulas and essential oils. They also sell unrated pheromone colognes – pheromone-containing colognes on which they have no clear data. Their “Fab Four” kit is only for seasoned “phero-gurus” – in other words, “if you have to ask, it’s not for you.”

It would have been nice to experiment with the samples during my single days (the product seems to be best suited for singles, anyway), but I figured I could wear one of them around my boyfriend to see if it was particularly … ahem, arousing. According to the Psychology Today article linked above, “since it’s known that women can detect genetic compatibility by smell – it’s not that men can’t but that so far no one knows – the onus is on females to sniff out a suitable squire,” but because Love Scent markets their products to both men and women, I enlisted the help of one my boyfriend’s male friends who was coming to town with his girlfriend. We asked Joe to smear on some of The Edge (for him) without his gal’s knowledge before going out to the bars.

After he applied the moist towelette, my apartment, quite frankly, smelled like a gigolo, or at least how I imagine a gigolo would smell. Unfortunately, Joe never had a chance to read the instructions: “Watch out for over-application,” which is especially true for The Edge because it is highly concentrated. Don’t get me wrong: It smelled good, but it was so overpowering that it practically consumed the place. Eventually, Joe confessed to his girlfriend, but I’m not sure it would have made any difference if she hadn’t known. I also used one of the samples – Scent of Eros – dabbing it on my various pulse points as instructed. Love Scent says that women have reported additional success when applying to ankles and thighs, but I stuck to wrists and behind the ears. It smelled lovely, like any number of musky perfumes I might buy at a department store, but again there’s no way to know if our significant others were friskier than usual because of the pheromones. Plus, both Joe and I are in fairly new relationships in which we can’t keep our hands off our significant others, anyway. I didn’t expect my boyfriend to attack me like a ravenous lion looking for prey, but I did wonder if I’d be able to detect more subtle behavior changes that would indicate the product was working its magic. I can’t say that I witnessed anything different in him.

Perhaps these products would be good for people in, say, stale relationships, so as to rev up a decaying sex life; in a fairly new relationship if you’re sex life has already decayed, well, then you may have more problems than a topical product (that Richard Gere in American Gigolo might wear) could ever solve. Although, a testimonial from “Julia” on Love Scent’s site makes it seem that their products have the power to unite couples in trouble: “My boyfriend had decided that he wanted to break up. We agreed to go to lunch on his birthday. I wore some of your magic oil and he went crazy…..We are back together. I also put some on a handkerchief and then under the seat of his car…..He keeps commenting on how his car smells like me.” I’m not sure how much stock to put on testimonials but Love Scent’s site does have a ton of them.

It should also be mentioned that Love Scent pheromones may be worth a try if only for the placebo effect. It’s long been documented that the placebo effect has enormous impact on people’s ability to heal. The Wall Street Journal recently wrote a piece about this effect entitled Why Placebos Work Wonders. If someone applies one of Love Scent’s products with the idea in mind that they have a secret, extra edge, they may exude more confidence because they believe themselves to now be more attractive to potential mates. Dating and attraction is often about confidence – it’s all in the head (no, not that head), as they say. So any suggestions or ideas that can inspire confidence when it comes to your dating life is a usually a good bet, unless of course, the idea is to wear a hat like this.

Another thought I had about using these kinds of pheromones is that once you run out of the product your natural scent will be exposed, and whomever you’ve managed to woo with your pre-made pheromonal concoction will now quite possibly be repulsed by you and have no idea why. Don’t worry, though, Love Scent accepts orders in bulk.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest found compelling evidence that ingestion of artificial food dyes can contribute to hyperactivity, restlessness and attention problems in some children, especially those with ADHD. Fortunately, there are now natural alternatives available, made primarily from vegetable colorants. (Media credit/Hemera Collection)

Many of us are still wary of food dyes because of reports about links between red dye #2 and cancer in the 1970s. While red dye #2 was subsequently banned from products sold in the United States, many health-conscious consumers continue to avoid foods with other artificial colors or dyes—even though the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) still considers them safe for human consumption.

But a 2010 analysis of past research on links between food dyes and health by the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) found compelling evidence that ingestion of artificial dyes can contribute to hyperactivity, restlessness and attention problems in some children—particularly those with ADHD. “What’s more, the studies suggested that removing dyes from those children’s diet was a quarter to half as effective in reducing those symptoms as giving the kids Ritalin or other stimulants,” reports Nancy Cordes, CBS News’ Consumer Safety Correspondent. “In other words, certain kids with ADHD might not need drugs if the artificial dyes were removed from their diets.” Several commonly used artificial food dyes are suspected carcinogens as well.

While it might be impossible to prevent your children from eating anything with artificial dye, you can do your part by shopping at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s—both chains have banned products that use artificial dyes and carry all-natural food coloring for home cooking and baking projects.

One brand to look for is India Tree, which makes a line of food coloring derived from vegetable colorants. The company’s “Nature’s Colors Natural Decorating Colors” contain no corn syrup or synthetic dyes, and are highly recommended for coloring icing in rich jewel tones or soft pastels.

Another company specializing in natural (as well as organic) food colors is Nature’s Flavors, whose products are widely used commercially in ice cream, baked goods, frosting, dairy products, syrups, sauces, beverages and even hair colors. The company recently began to sell their products to consumers, as well, through retail stores. They use a variety of plant materials, including beets, turmeric root, annatto seeds, purple carrot, purple cabbage, gardenia flowers, hibiscus flowers and grape skin. “Our natural food colors are made from plants and contain powerful antioxidants, which help the body repair itself from the effects of oxidation,” claims Nature’s Flavors. “Using natural or organic food colors may actually help the brain and slow down the effects of aging.”

Another leading maker of all-natural food coloring is Chefmaster, whose products can be found at Whole Foods and other natural and high end food retailers, as well as on amazon.com and elsewhere online.

CPSI would like the FDA to ban eight of the most common artificial dyes, or at least affix a warning label to products that contain them: “Warning: The artificial coloring in this food causes hyperactivity and behavioral problems in some children.” In the meantime, concerned eaters should stick with products, stores and restaurants that use natural ingredients.

CONTACTS: India Tree, www.indiatree.com; Nature’s Flavors, www.naturesflavors.com; CPSI’s “Food Dyes: A Rainbow of Risks,” www.cspinet.org/new/pdf/food-dyes-rainbow-of-risks.pdf.

Susan Baxter, 32, founded Hire a Boston Wingwoman in 2010.

Susan Baxter, 32, has the solution for single Boston guys looking for love: Wingwomen. Sure, you’ve got your Bud Light-guzzling, cleavage-ogling, popped collar-wearing wingman already, but isn’t the same old “you distract the less attractive friend while I talk to the hot one” routine getting a little stale? Baxter’s wingwomen get straight to the point with confidence, class, and a well-worth-it fee: the girl you’re going after.

For clients of Baxter’s company, Hire a Boston Wingwoman, it works like this: You and a wingwoman go to a bar or a lounge, or wherever you want to go to meet chicks. You scan the room, zoom in on your potential love interest, and your wingwoman goes in for the kill. It might begin with a compliment (“I love those shoes!”) or a question (“What’s your favorite drink here?”). Then, she might say something like, “This is my friend Joe; we’re looking for a bar to go after this. Do you know of anywhere good?”

“She kind of hangs around in the background once the introduction is made,” says Baxter. “If it doesn’t work out, then the client tries another woman. And if it doesn’t seem like the woman is interested, the wingwoman can pretend to be the client’s girlfriend.”

Wingwomen are better sidekicks than wingmen, Baxter says, because “Women tend to have their guards up when they go out; maybe it’s a girl’s night and they are just out for some cocktails with their friends and aren’t looking to talk to guys. Women feel less intruded upon if a woman comes up to them. They have their guards up when a man goes up and says, ‘Hey, I’m Joe, how are you ladies this evening?’ It’s old, and it’s lame, and she’s like, ‘Oh, here we go again.’”

Even better, adds Baxter, “It’s a boost of confidence to walk in to a place with a beautiful woman by your side. Girls like competition, so if they see you with an attractive woman, they’ll think you’ve got something to offer.”

So what makes a successful wingwoman? Generally, says Baxter, they are outgoing, and unafraid to approach and strike up conversation with that intimidating, hot girl you’ve got your eye on.

“You’ve gotta play the part,” she says. “You can’t go to that trendy, upscale bar if you look like you just got out of a Red Sox game; it’s gotta be realistic. But each wingwoman has a different personality. Some are bubbly and are good for clubs, and some are more intelligent and would be good for a social networking-type party. They’re attractive, outgoing, social, and willing to go up to a woman and say, ‘Hey, where’d you get your hair done? I’m looking for a new salon in the area.’”

Baxter, who has a master’s degree in applied sociology from the University of Massachusetts, started her business in September of 2010 with the knowledge that “a lot of people are shy and are intimidated to go up to people at a bar,” she says. “People tend to just stand there at the end of the bar and wait to be approached.” Plus, she was already being a wingwoman for her guy (and girl) friends, so why not make it a business?

“My ‘aha’ moment was when I was watching an episode of the ‘Tyra Banks Show,’ and a woman was on there who was a wingwoman for her friends,” says Baxter. “And I was like, ‘Wait, that’s what I do!’ The idea had spread to New York City and to Las Vegas, and I thought, why not Boston?”

Now, Hire a Boston Wingwoman employs nearly 40 wingwomen (and counting–she’s hiring!) in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The business works with about 10 clients a weekend, with many repeat clients. Fall is the busiest time of year for the company, which Baxter attributes to several factors: “In the fall, people are coming back from their vacation or their summer fling, and are looking for something more serious. The holidays are coming and they don’t want to be alone; it’s time to settle down. Plus, fall weather is cozy.”

Hiring a wingwoman costs $65 an hour, with a two hour minimum, and is $30 for every half-hour thereafter. Several testimonials on the company’s website attest that it’s worth the price: “My wingwoman focused on making connections and harnessing intuition,” says client Scott Alden. ”The method was to hang out with her, be myself and seize the moment when it was right. Women who saw that I was with her felt more comfortable around me, and I didn’t have to work as hard. I felt comfortable, too.” Michael, a client from Cambridge, writes, “I felt really comfortable after meeting the wingwoman, who introduced me to a couple of very attractive ladies.  I have already re-hired her because she was great company and made me very confident.”

There’s no guarantee that a wingwoman will help you find your future wife, of course, but who can argue with at least giving it a try? Besides, you get to be seen with a hot, confident woman by your side instead of your cologne-drenched, awkward-pick-up-line-using best friend.

(Media Credit/Melissa Ostrow via UrbanDaddy.com)

There was a time when cocktails weren’t trendy, but classic. For most of Boston, that time has passed, but for Elm Street’s clandestine Saloon, that time is now. Upon walking into Somerville’s newest basement joint, one anticipates the impressive atmosphere and bar menu. To our surprise, it was the soundtrack that proved immediately impressive. The sound of Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris affirmed our suspicions that good things were to come.

And come, they did, in the form of the bright green Nay Sayer cocktail ($10), remarkably complex fried pickled peppers ($9) and a savory steak and kidney pie ($26). As a cocktail, the Nay Sayer is bad for you while tasting very, very good. Indeed, the shot of wheatgrass included in the whiskey and ginger beer mix makes the concoction feel almost healthful.

The wine list is slightly narrow-minded, obviously aiming to please to masses, but the cocktails easy compensate for this. The Ward 44 ($10) is the alcoholic answer to smoky, chocolate covered bacon, and the Corpse Reviver no. 2 ($10) provides tart, absinthe laced refreshment.

Where food is concerned, the deep fried pickled peppers stuffed with Boursin cheese reign over all other appetizers. The steak and kidney pie earned accolades from a native Brit, as well as this reporter and her companion. The savory filling and delightfully rich crust allow one to forget, and even embrace, the fact that it is cold outside.

A reported favorite of Davis Square’s “Slutcracker “cast, Saloon is not to be missed. Whether you crave brown walls, brown gravy, or brown liquor, it is sure to satisfy.

Saloon, 255 Elm St, Somerville; 617-628-4444; www.saloondavis.com

Hi Neely,

Thanks for your advice!
Confused, Philadelphia, PA

Takeaway points

• 1:20 – Listen to what a man is saying. Is he telling you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship but you’re choosing not hear him? You won’t change his mind no matter what you do.
• 3:17 – A man may like you and like spending time with you but not want to be in a relationship with you. If he doesn’t give you what you want and need, walk away, because you DESERVE TO BE LOVED!
• 3:48 – Don’t be afraid of being lonely. It’s okay to feel lonely.
• 4:20 – Men are in go-mode when they want to be in a relationship. They don’t give a woman scraps. They only give scraps to a woman who will let them get away with that.
• 4:45 – You can’t control how another person is going to feel.
• 5:56 – Just because you have chemistry with someone doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be together.
• 6:10 – The sooner you stop pouring energy into someone who isn’t meeting your needs, the sooner you can devote your energy to finding someone great and who wants to be with you.
• 6:54 – When you have a real physical and emotional involvement with someone, it can be difficult to give other people a chance.

Submit your dating/relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com

Paramount Center

One and one-half years into its existence, ArtsEmerson: The World On Stage is upping its game. The theater and film series sponsored by Emerson College and headed by former A.R.T. managing director Robert Orchard has already helped to revamp Boston’s theater district with its restoration of the Paramount Center, and brought cutting-edge theater to Boston from the likes of Peter Brook, The Abbey Theater, The Civilians and Mabou Mines. Now, ArtsEmerson has announced the establishment of The Center for the Theater Commons.

L-R) David Dower and Polly Carl in conversation at the CUNY Graduate Center, December 5, 2011. Image by Martha Wade Steketee.

Under the leadership of David Dower, current associate artistic director of Arena Stage in Washington D.C. and Polly Carl, director of the American Voices New Theater Institute (AVNT), which was launched at Arena Stage in 2009, The Commons will be, according to a press release, “a center for research into the processes, challenges, opportunities, and best practices for developing new theatrical work, as well as a hub of communication and collaboration tools for the theatre industry, nationally and internationally.”

Foundational to The Commons are a series of tools for communicating about new plays which Dower and Carl developed in Washington with funding from the Mellon foundation. There’s HowlRound, AVNPI’s online magazine, which publishes new work, editorials and interviews with theater makers; #NewPlay TV, a streaming video channel, and the New Play Map, a collectively revised listing of where new plays are currently be produced.

Robert Orchard calls their work in fostering of new plays, “the most important work in American theater today.” He says of the Center for the Theater Commons,” My dream has always been to explore through academic training, professional production and presentation, and rigorous research, structures that enable and celebrate a healthy theatrical culture, and the underlying respect for creativity and excellence that unites the field. Emerson is one of the few places in America that can host this effort. It’s an immense responsibility, and we are honored and energized to be able to take it on.”

Many mass-market hair care products rely on harsh chemicals that can cause follicle, skin and eye irritation. In some cases, ingredients have been implicated in respiratory, immune and endocrine problems, even cancer. Fortunately, there is now a wide range of greener, healthier hair care products available. (Thinkstock/iStock)

Many common hair care products, including shampoos, conditioners and hair sprays, can pose health hazards. Most of the shampoos for sale on supermarket and drugstore shelves use a chemical called sodium laureth sulfate (or one of its derivatives), a foamy de-greaser that can cause follicle, skin and eye irritation, and which has been linked to some cancers when combined with other common shampoo ingredients.

Meanwhile, mass-market conditioners typically rely on so-called quaternary compounds to produce thicker, silkier and tangle-free hair, but these chemicals can also irritate the skin and eyes and likewise have been linked to cancer. As for hair spray and other styling products, most work by coating the hair with polyvinylpyrrolidone (PVP), a plastic polymer that has been dissolved in solvents to keep it flexible. Environment Canada, Canada’s counterpart to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, classifies PVP as a medium health priority, although phthalates, triethanolamine, parabens and other hair spray ingredients may be more harmful, having been linked to respiratory, immune and endocrine problems as well as cancer.

Luckily for those who spend a lot of time and money getting their hair to look, smell and feel just right, a wide range of greener, healthier hair care products has emerged in recent years. Aveda has been a pioneer in the industry ever since Horst Rechelbacher launched the company in 1978 after visiting India and witnessing the healing powers of Hindu medicine and aroma. Today the company offers seven hair product lines tailored to different hair types, with the majority of the ingredients derived from plants, non-petroleum minerals or other natural sources. Furthermore, upwards of 89 percent of the essential oils and raw herbal ingredients Aveda uses in its hair cars products are sourced from certified organic producers.

There are hundreds of other companies, too, that sell natural hair products. A great place to look is at the GoodGuide, a website that rates 145,000 foods, toys, personal care and household products according to health, environmental and social responsibility standards. Top-rated shampoos listed there include Burt’s Bees Rosemary Mint Shampoo Bar, Aura Cacia Kids Shampoo and Aubrey Organics Men’s Stock Ginseng Biotin Shampoo. GoodGuide’s top performing conditioners include Dr. Bronner’s Hair Conditioning Rinse, Burt’s Bees Herbal Blemish Stick with Tea Tree Leaf Oil, KMS Haircare Liquid Assets and Nurture My Body Conditioner. As for styling, GoodGuide likes any of the varieties of Dr. Bronner’s Hair Conditioner and Style Cream as well as L’Oreal’s Elnett Extra Strong Hold.

Another source for credible hair care products recommendations is the Guide to Less Toxic Products, a free online resource produced by the Environmental Health Association of Nova Scotia. The guide lists 25 shampoos, 22 conditioners and 18 hair styling products that meet its stringent ingredient standards. Also check out the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep cosmetics database, which provides detailed ingredient information and safety assessments for 70,000 personal care products, including hundreds of shampoos, conditioners and hair styling formulations.

CONTACTS: Aveda, www.aveda.com; Good Guide, www.goodguide.com; Guide to Less Toxic Products, www.lesstoxicguide.ca; Skin Deep, www.ewg.org/skindeep.

Hi Neely,

Thanks for your advice!
Tired of Text Messaging, Boston, MA

Send your dating/relationship questions to: neely@blastmagazine.com.

By Kasey Miller at Emmanuel College

Photo Cred: www.laurenshope.com

The main reason people do not wear medical IDs is because they are ugly and bring attention to their medical conditions. Another reason is because people do not know what medical conditions are considered important enough to merit wearing a medical ID. The simple solution would be to ask your doctor. If your doctor thinks you should wear a medical ID odds are you should wear one.

Lauren’s Hope medical IDs are negating the stigma of people wearing medical IDs. They are fashionable and, unless the person wearing the ID wants or needs to bring attention to their medical condition, no one knows that they are wearing one.

The front of the pendant looks like a carnation with a lot of colorful layers. In the center of the flower is a red medical alert symbol but unless you are strictly looking for it, you do not see it. If you are trying to look for it, you will see it.

“It’s so important to wear a medical ID and when Laurens Hope makes them so cute I don’t mind wearing mine! People need options when they have diabetes. We have minimal options in treatment, but in fashion they are limitless.” Says Allison Crace, a type one Diabetic.

On Lauren’s Hope webpage, you can choose from a variety of styles of medical IDs. If you prefer to wear something subtle, like a watch, they have that option. If you want something flashy that shows up when you wear it, they also have jewelry that fits that description. Whatever style you are, and if you have any known chronic illnesses, Lauren’s Hope has the type of medical ID you are looking for.

People with known chronic illnesses crave control – and Lauren’s Hope gives some control back to these people.

A Lauren’s Hope medical ID necklace looks like a normal necklace. This brings up the question: How does medical staff know if a person is wearing a medical ID? The answer is that emergency medical staff is trained to check for the little red medical alert symbol on the arms, neck or feet of any person seen by emergency medical staff.

The price of a Lauren’s Hope medical ID would be somewhere in the sixty dollar range. The price of not wearing a medical ID, on the other hand, is far more costly.

Dave Malloy, Alec Duffy, Rick Burkhardt. Photo Ryan Jensen

“Three Pianos” is an awesome party for music nerds. That is to say, it does a great job of creating a theatrical representation of a Schubertstadt, which was, it explains, an event wherein a bunch of creative depressives would hunker down in the crappy apartment of 18th century superstar composer Franz Schubert, get blitzed, listen to the latest sublime Schubert composition, and attempt to transmute their melancholy into works of art.

The theme of this party is Schubert’s Winterreise (Op. 89, D 911), a 24-song cycle created around poetry by Wilhelm Müller about an angst-ridden Romantic who wonders through a snowy wood, brooding upon the cruelties of existence. The party’s hosts, creator/performers Rick Burkhardt, Alec Duffy and Dave Malloy essentially give this work the Reduced Shakespeare Company treatment: loving yet irreverent.

Inviting their audience to join them in a cup of wine or three (really, there’s wine), they offer witty, multimedia Cliff’s Notes on each of each song in the cycle. Surrounded by snowy trees, colored lanterns, a model of churchyard and of course, one piano each, they jump between tongue-and-cheek lectures, goofy historical reenactments and arguments over music criticism and music theory, which occasionally get personal.

Much of the strength of the trio’s fluid and creative presentation is their gift for modernizing (and often post-modernizing). They sing selections from the cycle in a self-consciously non-operatic style. They create ingenious contemporary analogies for the central image of the tromp through the cold forest. It’s a more active version of what would now be mindlessly refreshing Web pages while stuffing one’s face with processed food. It’s like aimlessly meandering through the aisles of Kmart with no particular purchase in mind. It’s like flitting desperately from one entertainment source to the next. Better, the trio argues, to confront depression head on, explore the hell of it, make something with it, like Schubert and his artistic friends did. Once this argument is offered the pre-curtain music choice of Chicago blues makes wonderful sense.

The other brilliant bit of modern adaptation going on in Three Pianos is its celebration not only of the artistic process by of the art of appreciation. It plays with that fact that in our world of cutting-and-pasting, posting, tweeting and commenting—our world in which “hipsters” are essentially cultural critics— fandom is a highly creative act.

I got so lost, in fact, in the fun of watching this talented threesome try to reckon with this strange, foreign art work which exerts so much power over their lives, that after the curtain fell, I found myself wondering if I would enjoy the actual Schubert piece on its own merits, divorced from the commentary. I’ve been listening to various versions of Winterreise over and over again, ever since. It’s beautiful.

“Three Pianos” plays at the A.R.T.’s Loeb Drama Center through January 8.

For some reason, Dale Ballard never clicked romantically with American women. He wasn’t well versed in Game or the timeless art of seduction – unlike these Casanovas, who have built careers out of charming the fairer sex — a skill which would have helped him make better connections, but he shunned these sorts of tactics anyway. He disliked playing games or using any kind of manipulation strategies with women. He just wanted to be himself, and for American women that didn’t seem to be good enough. Luckily for the 32-year-old from Phoenix, Arizona, he seemed to have better luck with ladies from other countries (in particular, Bosnia, Estonia, and Sweden).

When asked via our phone conversation the other week why he connected better with foreign women, he parried the question a bit, trying to appear diplomatic, perhaps betraying his real feelings about American women. But he was sure of one thing and was willing to state it on the record: Foreign women don’t play games the way American women do.

In 2008, in his search for love, Ballard joined the typical dating Web sites — Match, eHarmony, OKCupid — but was disappointed when he couldn’t find foreign women in his area. Moreover, “when you type ‘foreign women’ into Google, all you come up with is ‘mail-order brides,’” he said with a laugh. Frustrated by his experience and recognizing a need, the young entrepreneur started mulling over the idea of launching his own dating Web site to accomplish what he wasn’t able to do via the traditional sites: find foreign women locally. There’s gotta be other people that feel like me, he told himself. 

Two years went by, his idea still simmering inside his head, like a slow-cooking stew. He hadn’t taken any action but was inspired by 2010’s The Social Network to turn up the heat. Shortly thereafter, DatingMashup.com was born. With his parents’ help – their expertise in marketing, research, and information technology was crucial — Ballard was off and running.

“If you could date anyone other than an American, who would it be?” he asked me during our chat. I didn’t have an answer, but Ballard reflexively answered his own question:  ”Seventy to eighty percent of the people I’ve surveyed knew immediately. They just don’t have the resources to act on their preferences.” Ballard also added that DatingMashup.com is a great site for foreign people who move to the U.S. and are looking to find others with similar backgrounds, even if it’s for platonic purposes. Currently, the site is free, making money through advertising, but it will eventually sell e-books full of dating tips and strategies for both men and women. Since the site officially launched, in March of 2011, it has been growing steadily and continues to expand its roster of countries — currently, there are members from the U.S., Korea, China, Canada, Spain, Mexico, Indonesia, the U.K. and Japan.

So if you’re in the market for some global lovin’ or you’re an expat looking to find someone of a similar background, check out DatingMashup.com.

Special deal for Blast readers only: Don’t forget to take advantage of their 25/25 program – the first 25 people who register get a $25 gift card to over 18,000 restaurants nationwide.  Just be sure to select “Blast Magazine” when prompted by the drop-down menu to explain how you heard about the site.

Happy hunting!

An email from a New York City-based investment banker admonishing a woman who never responded to his inquiry for a second date went viral last week. Facebook posts and Tweets abounded. People couldn’t fathom how one person could take so much time and expend so much energy to email a woman who simply never returned his call or text messages. A normal human being would have taken approximately 30 minutes of feeling rejected, chalked it up to experience, and moved on. But Mr. Banker guy (who might have already moved to Mexico to avoid public ridicule) couldn’t seem to let it go.

The kerfuffle over the letter was reminiscent of a similar situation another woman found herself in about a year ago.

Last March, she had a rather bizarre experience on Match.com and emailed a group of her female friends the following:

“This is one of the craziest guys I have ever met (don’t worry – didn’t meet him in person); I looked him up yesterday b/c he sent my friend a nasty ranting email when she suggested they meet for drinks instead of a phone call. He was like, you’re not good looking, i don’t like to waste gas money, etc.

So then he starting IMing me last night. I kept it going at first just to see what he would do. He was crass, full of himself and NOT funny (your joke that there are 30,000 battered women out there and all you get is a plain one is not funny – even if you put LOL after it).

So i eventually called him a douche and logged off.”

The next day, this woman woke up to the below 1,700-word rant. We’d say the letter is nuttier than the I-bankers rebuke. What say you? Also, if anyone can understand what the hell this guy is talking about, we’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

The thing your young female brain forgot… is that maybe I wasn’t interested in you to begin with. Maybe it was all in jest and for another purpose. That is actually the case. You also need to keep your youthful ego and mouth in check when talking to people much older. We’ve already been your age, when you thought you knew it all, only to realize you don’t know much at all. I don’t even think I find many people under the age of 40 very interesting, worldly , sexy or interesting at all. Celebrity or not.

So of course I know my IQ, and that i”m the CEO of my own business and that I hire people like you to be a tool for me. If you’re polite and respectful that will win you points. When you start talking all gibberish like you’re the center of the galaxy thats when it starts getting downright funny. I would say you should check your knickers there kid. Young girls your ag e are so duped and foolish that you have almost zero clue that the world has existed long before you got into your diapers. The world isn’t clearing some huge path for your egocentric goddess worship.. what your’e really doing is helping my industry (pharmaceutical) to get fat and wealthy off your neurotic gender gone off its rocker.. the largest consumer of antidepressants, and Schedule II drugs, schizoid, etc… females. But a major lanslide…

You may think you’re pretty smart. I say give it a few more years. Thats when you will realize you dug your own ditch so high you can’t get out. There will be no hands left to pull you out either. I can tell just by the way you literally think you’re childish opinion carries weight with a worldly guy who commands respect, is alpha male and laughs at the very idea you think you’re making a dent at all here when you go off with silly remarks (little more than conjencture form a fickle youthful female) that you’re way off kilter already.. . charting a course into the depths of utter futility and confusion in the future, because you’re lost already.

there is a reason I IM”d you. It wasn’t to flirt or to find you interesting. You’re a statistic in truth. You make yourself that way by virtue of what you’ve chosen to do with your time. Confirmed.

You don’t know anything about Maine. You just think you know something because you were there briefly. I know exactly where you were.. and just laughed to myself. Why are you so clueless ? Do you think maybe sometimes you’re being a bit toyed with by men and you’re totally unaware of it ? I think so.

I IM’d you because I was 100% sure that your headline was indicative of your lack of couth and manners. Within a few keystrokes it was obvious. Just a confirmation check. Just out of curiousity my dear. I’m not attracted to you physically. I don’t think you’re someone who would raise my interest level . I’m guessing you’ re pretty dull, boring and well just a kid. So it was interesting. Especially your smart alecky ways forgetting how young you are in the eyes of a more mature adult. Yes of course one has to “play along” with you. You forget its impossible for you to zip forward and gain the years of wisdom, so you can’t have a clue how you appear. Kinda silly. Especially with your boastings. At least have some years of experience as a good wife and mother before you start talking about having acheived a thing. You haven’t. Right now you’re a walking talking statistic. A Rockefeller wildchild..creation right out of the mind of Rupert Murdoch. LOL

Good luck on match. Next time I think it would be wise for you to know when to digress, when you’re outclassed, and outwitted, instead of fighting and sounding stupid like a teenage girl ranting silly insults. Come on. Go to your room !

Silly. All the college degrees in the world are not going to save the massive feminist implosion th at is now pending on the horizon. The bottom dropped out of it long ago. Empty wombs, early tombs. Thats the result. Men got wise. They aren’t going to deal with you are marry you. You’re on your own when you choose that path. Word to the wise, get used to being old gray and lonely now. That is where you’re headed. Men are not interested in a competitor favored by law, as set up by Masons, SkullnBones and their int’l banking brothers, in order to usurp humanity, and dominate every sphere of the human race. Women will not have control over their own ovaries very soon. They’re already pupetted and poisoned physically and mentally and don’t even know it. They can’t procreate and if they want to, they’re discouraged from it. A massive backlash against feminism is creating a deluge of over 40 single never married no children TE’s….

A TE is what they call the ‘goyim’. You’ll have to spend about 15 years to figure it out, reading and researching. So I’ll save u the time. “Temporary Entity”. Thats right. Thats why you are fooled and duped into what you’ve fast tracked yourself to become. Extinguished. Gone. No offspring. Population reduced. Already the birth rate is below the replacement rate and dropping fast. Some really mean spirited nasty white men from another part of the planet planned this out a long time ago. They owned all the banks. They owned all the industry. They financed all the wars and revolutions. They owned the educational system and the lawmaking bodies of most countries. The one thing they wanted to own was your womb. They got control over that thru little pills when they financed the research, and then carried it even further by financing the education of women thru books, movies, tv, secondary education. The funniest and saddest part is that women everywhere actually BELIEVE that something magical and happy is happening. In fact its quite sinister, and plays on the naivety of the female brain. As a biochemist with a 15 yr. career in industry I can say that its scientific fact the female has a smaller brain, a lower IQ in general and is very gullible, and more easily ‘trained’ , has a lower pain threshold (although lied to and told not true), and will go along in groups easily persuaded than male counterparts. Just look at Oprah. Her rise to fame isn’t accidental. Was financed. There is a reason for it. Bernie Madoff only went to jail because he stole his brotherhood’s money too. Otherwise he would have been in the clear.

If ever you want to make some sense and come into full awareness, of the world, and really gain some maturity…learn to understand the history of money, the financial history of Europe, the Masons, Templars and the Rotshchild banking system. Read Creature from Jekyll Island and the History of Money. Research the battle between the central bankers and Lincoln, Jefferson, Andrew Jackson (who abolished it in Philadelphia ), and Teddy Roosevelts battle against John D Rockefeller that l ed to anti trust laws. The Rockefeller and Ford Foundation fund feminism directly. thru ‘womens studies’ programs. They funded ‘eugenics’ and the foundation of Cold Spring Harbor Labs where Dr. Watson discovered DNA. Dr. Watson was sitting in MY office 9 years ago at (Name removed) when I was the head of (name removed) there, invited as a keynote speaker. They were not after DNA research for no particular reason..they were searching for the ‘fountain of youth’ and to control the destiny of mankind. Eugenics. Its now called “genetics”. Almost everything around you is not what you think it is. We live in a false environoment, glued together by a belief system that the bottom floor of this massive construction is secure… when its not, it never was, its always been a house of cards, stacked so high few ever dared to delve into the ground floor. The monetary system is a scam. All of humanity is literally a mind-slave indentured servant working for an elite that keeps itself in the shadows and has only its puppet figureheads in the limelight. They own your mind. They train it from the time you’re young. From TV and school systems. You’re too young to remember a time when there was little to know feminism on TV anywhere. IT was peaceful. There was alot less chaos, except for the end of the Vietnam conflict.

Next time you think you’re so smart..check yourself again. You’re living in a delusion, but you don’t know that at all. You’re actually living in the rubber room, comfy and cozy not allowed to question why you’re there and why you’re so happy to be there. You don’t realize at all that this house of cards is being stacked against you, and especially your gender. But if you opened your eyes up and saw who the man behind the curtain really is.. you would be aghast. And for the millions of single women on this site you would feel horror. Mind control is just as powerful as any standing army. When you can teach and train an entire class of population, by manipulating one gender to render itself impotent by teaching her how to behave unnaturally.. you have accomplished something tanks, planes and bombs can never do without collateral damage. Believe that in this century… the warzone is actually inside your head and they work overtime to own the gray matter you think you own by systematically programming it from dawn to dusk.

Good luck smarty pants. One day you’ll be wise. Today is not that day.

*Spelling errors not corrected

Yes, “The Nutcracker” is on at the Boston Opera House, and the Rockettes will be kicking up their heels at the Wang. But don’t worry if sweeping balconies and sky-high ticket prices aren’t quite how you imagined spending your hard-earned shopping funds. Boston offers a wide sparkly spectrum of seasonal shows to choose from this season, from free family-friendly fare to racy renditions of holiday classics.

Christmastime 2011 Reagle Music Theatre

Christmas Time

Reagle Music Theatre

The Robinson Theatre, Waltham

From $25 (student rush available)

December 3 – 11

SEE IF: you’re a fan of the Rockettes, or your parents and grandparents are driving in from western Mass and want to do something fun.

Why dish out for Radio City? Here’s a traditional variety show on a slightly smaller scale with no punches pulled. There’s even a Living Nativity and tap-dancing toy soldiers! The cast of over 40 adults and 150 children, including Broadway actors (and real-life couple) Sarah Pfisterer and Rick Hilsabeck, promise to drum up lots of wholesome family fun.

New Rep Christmas Story

A Christmas Story

New Repertory Theater

Arsenal Center for the Arts, Watertown

From $28
December 11-24

SEE IF: the carols and goodwill are getting to you, and you just want see a kid “shoot his eye out.” The 1983 film didn’t make much of a splash when first released, but now the Red Ryder air rifle, pink bunny pajamas and fishnet-clad leg lamp have become modern holiday symbols. If the thought of zoning out to the TBS marathon (which replays the movie for 24 hours through the 24^th and the 25^th) isn’t thrilling, but still want your yearly dose of 1940’s childhood hijinks, the stage version of “A Christmas Story” will play at the Arsenal Center for the Arts all the way through Christmas Eve. Double dog dare you to check it out.

Slutcracker logo

The Slutcracker: A Burlesque 

Somerville Theatre, Davis Square

December 2-24

$25

SEE IF: you always thought “The Nutcracker” needed more scantily clad dancers and blatant sex jokes. This frequently sold-out burlesque returns to the Somerville Theater this year for the fourth time, bringing all its risqué charm and energy. The dancers jeté, arabesque, shake and shimmy their way through the story of the nutcracker, with more than a few raunchy twists. This production is quickly becoming a Boston institution, and this year’s production continues the sexy, silly tradition in grand fashion. This year, though, they’re not just using “The Nutcracker” as a parody punching bag: the Boston Ballet is offering a 25% discount for “The Slutcracker” audience members. Details here.

GrinchleyChristmasCarol-Poster-Web

Mrs. Grinchley’s Christmas Carol

MACHINE 1254 Boylston Street, Boston

December 3 – 18

From $35

SEE IF: you’re curious to see how the past, present and future of an alcoholic drag queen Grinch will turn out. Certain circles may be shocked that a drag show ripping two holiday traditions—“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and “A Christmas Carol”—performed at one of Boston’s most notorious gay bars could be such a smash. In fact, last year’s run was completely sold out, and there are a few new surprises peppered in this year. Expect many “celebrity” appearances, puppet shows, musical numbers, and a ridiculously merry time.

Improv Boston

What the Dickens?!

ImprovBoston – Central Square

December 15 – 23

From $17

SEE IF: you want to see Charlie Brown’s Scrooge-like tendencies finally get the better of him.

After all Charlie Brown’s trials and tribulations, it’s not particularly surprising that his adulthood is more than a little whacked. This season, ImprovBoston’s “What the Dickens?!” is probably your best bet for low-key holiday-nostalgia laughs. After years of adapting “A Christmas Carol,” ImprovBoston has added “A Charlie Brown Christmas” into the mix, envisioning Charlie Brown as Scrooge, Lucy as Jacob Marley and the red-haired girl as the woman Scrooge loved and lost—not to mention the incredibly satisfying casting of Peppermint Pattie and Marcie as Bob Crachit and his wife, and Tiny Tim as their adopted son. The production is certainly not classified as family-friendly, but might be a happy medium between wholesome caroling and raunchy drag shows.

Sometimes people use New Year’s Eve as a barometer to measure how well their life is going: Big plans equals a big life. Over-bloated expectations can make this a tough holiday, especially when you’re single. It is impossible to escape the questions that highlight great expectations others have for your “big night.” And on top of it all, if you’re single there’s the dreaded tradition of someone to kiss at midnight.

There are two typical ways single gals may deal with the New Year’s Eve pressure-cooker: avoiding it or faking it. But there’s no reason to crawl under the covers or to slap on a make-believe happy face and stay out until all hours. Here are my top tips for single women looking to genuinely enjoy New Year’s Eve, either with your single friends or on your own.

If you have some other single gal-pals this is a great opportunity to spend some time with them. Use New Year’s as an excuse to capitalize on the importance of strong female friendships and to celebrate the women in your life.

Have a girlfriend get-together at your place.

If you’re with your friends I recommend avoiding the bar or club scene. It’s a high-pressure night and you’re likely to feel like it’s all about forced-fun, flirting with anyone around, and potentially hooking-up with someone you would avoid on a “normal” day. Instead, grab your girlfriends and stay in.

  Host a finger food party.

Have each guest bring an appetizer and a bite-size dessert. These fun foods can be passed around all night or set up on a buffet. You can munch throughout the evening as you talk, drink and laugh. This will be less work than serving a traditional dinner and a lot more fun.

  Have a classic movie marathon.

Pick up a set of classic mysteries (like Hitchcock) or have a horror film festival. Avoid anything sappy, like dramas and romantic comedies. Pop a few batches of popcorn (you can add fun flavors to them to make it more festive) and ask each of your friends to bring a bag of their favorite fun-size candies/chocolates. Create a little movie buffet, sit down and have some fun. Incidentally, this movie night can just as easily be adapted for one. Don’t skimp on yourself—do up the popcorn and candy and see some of the movies that have always been on your “list.”

  Make your own spa night.

Stop at your local beauty supply store and splurge on some relaxing spa treatments: bubble bath, a body exfoliator, a face mask and some luxurious lotion. Follow-up with a do-it-yourself manicure and pedicure in a cheerful color that embraces the day.

Don’t forget, in life you need to take care of yourself first so kick off the New Year celebrating the most important person in your life – YOU – and get ready for your best year yet!

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/love-and-romance/the-single-girls-guide-to-new-years-eve/feed/ 1 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/leaving-a-mark-on-professionalism-the-tattoo-generation/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/leaving-a-mark-on-professionalism-the-tattoo-generation/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 03:20:17 +0000 Blast Magazine Newsroom http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69693

By Kelly J. DeSisto at Emmanuel College

PROVIDENCE — Twenty one-year-old Rhode Islander, Lexi Neelis, sheds light on her fascination with body art.

“I have tattoos because I feel they enhance my body aesthetically. They are a way for me to bring a part of my personality literally to the surface of my skin.”

Almost every guide to professionalism makes a point of condemning the tattoo junkies from displaying their latest tribal symbol or finished sleeve. Necks, faces, wrists, hands and sometimes shoulders are some exposed areas of the body in which sporting a tattoo may not go over too well in the office environment. It’s becoming more common, however, for job seekers to show their tats proudly, whether traditional employers like it or not.

Photo Credit: Providencetattoo.com

Fortunately for this coffee barista, her five tattoos didn’t stand in the way of starting her gig at Coffee Exchange, a renowned café in Providence.

When asked about the impact that her tattoos have had on her job, Lexi replied that, “I may work at a coffee shop but I also work within their office. And, even though I work in an office setting, I have never felt the need to hide or conceal them. I receive compliments on my tattoos while I’m working all the time.” Lexi not only got accepted for the job with her tattoos showing, but also received a raise and, shortly after, a promotion as the organization’s administrative assistant.

Tattoo parlors are popping up everywhere, perpetuating the desire to get tattooed. From media outlets to technology enhancements, it seems that tattoos are showing up more often and may begin to alter the traditional expectations for interviews, conferences, internships and other opportunities that involve the element of appearing professional.

But let’s be honest. A café isn’t going to uphold the same dress code that law firms and high-ranking corporations require. The upcoming working generation, however, may change the norm of attire in even the most pristine business settings. Young adults in their early 20’s, such as Lexi, find it more common to have at least a tattoo or three before feeling like a rebel. Lexi represents the general point of view of her contemporaries when saying, “Proof that our generation is changing the way people view tattoos is everywhere! When I meet someone my age who doesn’t have a tattoo, I’m slightly surprised.”

From the way things are going, it wouldn’t be a shocker if tattoos started showing up in more professional settings. But what about now? Should young adults keep themselves from holding back by showing who they are through body art?

Dan Jalbert, assistant director of Emmanuel College’s Internship Career and Development office, has more to say on the matter. Individuality is important, but when it comes down to it, “while you may be a 20 something year old, you may be interviewing with someone in their 50’s or 60’s who puts a great deal of value and emphasis on traditional interview attire.”

Should the upcoming job seekers feel concerned about their tattoos? Could it be that our sense of fashion must come to a halt once we enter the networking world?

No need to fret. For those of you who are nervous, however, there is an array of options. As everyone knows, there are more places to get tattoos than your forehead or other obvious parts of the body. Let’s keep in mind that we not only have conservative clothing at our disposal but also the use of Band-Aids and other concealing tools to mask one’s expression of individuality. These quick fixes can be used for the entire time working within a more professional culture or at least for the interview.

The diversity of the work force is also key to keep in mind. Dan makes a point by mentioning that tattoos are, “definitely more accepted and normal in certain fields. Although, since you never know for sure what kind of person you’ll be interviewing with or working under, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

With professionalism 101 in the back of her mind, Lexi has found an openness to the idea of covering her beloved pieces of body art if her occupation takes her elsewhere. For now, however, she keeps to her passion for writing, art, and distinctiveness.

“In a setting where I need to convey serious information without distractions, I would consider covering my tattoos in some way. Other than that, I actually feel incomplete when my tattoos aren’t showing. They are a part of me and I don’t see myself ever regretting the art I have chosen to carry for the rest of my life.”

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/leaving-a-mark-on-professionalism-the-tattoo-generation/feed/ 1 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/for-richer-or-poorer%e2%80%a6till%e2%80%99-our-marriage-expires/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/for-richer-or-poorer%e2%80%a6till%e2%80%99-our-marriage-expires/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 03:01:31 +0000 Blast Magazine Newsroom http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69677

By Elizabeth Race-Moore at Emmanuel College

For many young people the idea of marriage may seem outdated and old fashioned. Perhaps it’s the “till’ death do us part” line that sends 20-something’s running. But lawmakers are now looking to make the enslavement of marriage a little less scary, and a little easier to get out of.

The idea is to create a contract between married couples that would require a marriage renewal after 10 years of marriage. After that time, couples would either agree to extend their marriage or have it dissolved. Couples wishing to get married already have to fill out their marriage license; this contract would be very similar.

The contract would also specify how to split up property, pay alimony and determine custody of children in the case that the marriage was not extended.

Photo Credit: almightydad.com

Boston’s unhitched women are warming to the idea.

“The downside of this law is that it might encourage people to jump into marriages too soon,” said Nicole Oliveira, Emmanuel College Junior.

“But at the going rate of divorce, maybe it isn’t such a bad idea.”

Political party members are not looking to speed up divorce but to give a solid chance to the marriage. On the other hand, this can help to avoid the long and complicated process that comes with a divorce.

For the younger generations starting to think about marriage, this mandatory “expiration date” could dramatically cut the rate of commitment phobia.

“I know all too many guys who will say ‘I’m never getting married’ or ‘Who wants to be with one person for the rest of your life,’” said Boston College Junior, Hannah Kavanaugh.

Maybe if more people felt they weren’t being sentenced to life at the altar, it might open their eyes to the idea of marriage. “The first ten years is like a test run, see where it goes from there.”

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/for-richer-or-poorer%e2%80%a6till%e2%80%99-our-marriage-expires/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/mp4-love-1-alpha-female-33-and-divorced/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/mp4-love-1-alpha-female-33-and-divorced/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:31:34 +0000 Neely Steinberg http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69666

Hi Neely,

Love your articles and realistic approach to dating. Thought you might have some good feedback for me. I’m 33 and am looking for a relationship. I finally think I’m ready after being single for the last two years. Before that I was married for four years. The divorce was amicable and I still talk with my ex – there just wasn’t any passion and his meekness became a problem for me. People tell me I’m an Alpha female (I have a high-powered job, am very organized, and I’m a bit anal retentive in certain ways), but I’m not really sure – sometimes I see how they can say that but sometimes I disagree. I really want to be with a strong man, an Alpha male. I’ve dated a couple of guys after my divorce who were just plain boring. I’m tired of being in charge. I want a man who is going to take charge and be in control. Is that too much to ask for? All I seem to be meeting and attracting are guys with more Beta qualities. What do you think? Help!

- Desirous of Alpha male, Boston

Submit your questions to neely@blastmagazine.com!

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/mp4-love-1-alpha-female-33-and-divorced/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/travel/gettin%e2%80%99-outta-town/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/travel/gettin%e2%80%99-outta-town/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:22:45 +0000 Blast Magazine Newsroom http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69649

By Ashley Pierce at Emmanuel College

NEWBURYPORT — At times, living in the city can take a toll on almost anyone’s mental health. From the noise, dirty air and visions of cement in every corner, it’s easy to yearn for refuge away from the chaos.

For those living in Boston, it’s sometimes hard to remember that it’s a city within an entire region that is New England; a region known for it’s natural beauty, rich history and many tourist attractions.

However, you don’t have to travel far, or even go out of state for a New England experience. A mere forty-minute drive up interstate 95 is the only thing separating you from saving your sanity from inner-city blues.

Or if you don’t have a car in the city, like me, the Commuter Rail runs directly to the city’s train station from North Station.

Photo Credit: Tripadvisor

Newburyport, only 35 miles north of Boston, is the perfect coastal destination escape. Though anytime of year looks beautiful in this North Shore town, the fall is perhaps the most perfect time for a drive up. To some, the drive may be worth the whole trip.

If you prefer the scenic route, take the exit before Newburyport, exit 53-b, Rowley. From there, route 133 East will lead to you route 1A- a quiet and winding road, dotted with colonial homes, radiant orange and crimson hued foliage, alternating with landscapes of salt marshes and small boatyards along the river.

You know you will have reached Newburyport when the Colonial houses become more numerous, closer together, and larger in size, with 18th century old cemeteries appearing in-between.

While the smallest city in Massachusetts has a lot of history to offer, it also has a great natural resource to escape to.

Maudslay State Park is a state reservation of the Department of Conservation and Recreation, and the former home of the late Mosely family estate.

Though the park is beautiful during any season, autumn is especially flattering. With paths winding through rolling meadows and shadowy forests, stretching all the way to the Merrimack river-such natural elements make it a leaf peeper’s paradise.

As we walked the perimeter of the park, I found that not only was I enjoying nature at its finest, but I was getting a work out as well.

After our “cardio session” in the park, I appeared to work up quite an appetite. So, we packed up the car and headed downtown, to the heart and charm of the city.

While walking along the red-bricked sidewalks of High street, it was clear that there was no shortage of places to grab some grub. We were even suggested by a local to get a lobster roll at Bob Lobster, just outside downtown, for a real taste of New England flavor.
However, one glimpse at “Agave Mexican Bistro,” had me persuaded that burritos or fajitas could be the only cure to my insatiable appetite.

I thought it most logical to order the fajitas, since it was almost guaranteed to be a decent portion. I was mistaken. “Decent” was an understatement.

My plate was heaping of yellow rice, refried beans, sautéed peppers and onions, perfectly seasoned chicken, guacamole with notes of cilantro (which I’m partial to) and their -not too mild, not to spicy-house salsa; all accompanied with soft flour tortillas, perfectly warmed.

I ate most of it, with the exception of a single flour tortilla and small clumps of rice and beans.

We skipped dessert and instead washed our meals down with one of their tasty libations. Though the menu offered up to six different flavors of margaritas and 70 varieties of tequila (all along shelves back dropped by a cascading waterfall), I decided to go with the house sangria priced at six dollars, while my “research partner” went with a bottle of “Negra Modelo”, a Mexican beer with hints of honey.

After we paid our bill, which ended up to be a little pricey for our college budgets, we headed back to the car with our bellies full.

On our walk back, we peeked in the windows of the quaint boutiques and coffee shops until we came across one selling products of our interest: wine and beer. As we walked in the door of “Grand Trunk Imports”, the smell of artisanal cheese alerted us that alcohol wasn’t the only product sold here.

As we surveyed the various types of wines from all over Europe, we ended up at the grandiose beer selection, which included brews from local and European breweries. We ended up choosing “hoptimus prime”, a dark, hoppy brew, which tasted as good as the name was clever.

Jeremy, co-owner, along with his wife, offered us a taste of cave-aged cheddar, a hundred times more delicious than the grocery store offerings. He pointed us to the glass case, filled with a considerable variety of cheeses ranging from camembert to gruyere to manchego, all imported from all over Europe.

Although we only ended up purchasing the beer, we thanked Jeremy and left the charmingly rustic looking store, and headed back to the city to toast to a great day, with our new, delicious brew.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/travel/gettin%e2%80%99-outta-town/feed/ 2 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-aint-misbehavin-at-the-lyric/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-aint-misbehavin-at-the-lyric/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2011 23:40:14 +0000 Jason Rabin http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69612

Did Fats Waller write every great jazz song of the 20’s and 30’s? It sure feels this way when you peruse the 30-strong song list for “Ain’t Misbehavin’, We’re talking about standard after standard from bluesy songs like “Aint Nobody’s Business” and “Black and Blue, to jaunty dance tunes like “the Joint is Jumpin,” “Honeysuckle Rose” and Jitterbug Waltz,” to satirical songs like “Loungin’ at the Waldorf and “When the Nylons Bloom Again,” to pop songs like “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love” and “I’m Going to Sit Right Down and Write Myself A Letter”—all of them lyrically witty and melodically rich enough to be covered by all of the greats for decades.

Waller was quite a character. A brilliant composer and virtuosic stride piano player with a flip vocal style and a propensity to clown at the keys, he was one of the greatest artists to immerge from the Harlem Renaissance. Someday, I’d love to see a play about his life. Actor Calvin Broxton offers an impression of the entertainer, but Ain’t Misbehavin’ is really a straight musical review in the classical Broadway style. The rotund Broxton plus one leading man-type and three women offer what a contemporary audience might think of as music video-style interpretations of Waller’s songs on a beautiful set: a shiny-floored cabaret, framed by a gleaming piano-key archway.

For what it is, this “Ain’t Misbehavin’” is not as musically sharp and polished as it should be. The show is also Broawayitized enough to not be for jazz purists. But it’s impossible to sit through without tapping your toes and cracking a few smiles. Being a matinee in Boston, there were many at the opening who seemed to remember these songs when they enjoyed radio play, and they appeared giddy with nostalgia. Anyone else who is at all wired to receive these kinds of tunes will find themselves tickled by at least a handful of these interpretations.

I loved watching Lori Tishfield, wearing a shimmering dress and clown shoes, transform the goofy song “Your Feet’s Too Big” in which a lover is spurned for her enormous “pedal extremities” into a sexy burlesque number. I also enjoyed watching Davron S. Monroe play an almost 70’s-style pimp in a slowed down, savored version of the reefer-extolling, “Viper Drag.” Good to see some Misbehavin’.

Directed and choreographed by Josie Bray with musical direction by Catherine Stornetta, “Ain’t Misbehavin’” plays at the Lyric through December 17. 

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-aint-misbehavin-at-the-lyric/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-kathleen-turner-in-high-at-the-emerson-majestic/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-kathleen-turner-in-high-at-the-emerson-majestic/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2011 22:24:17 +0000 Jason Rabin http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69605

Kathleen Turner and Evan Jonigkeit in "High"

In “High,” Kathleen Turner plays Sister Jamison Connelly, a tough-talking nun with a rocky past, whom a shady priest strong-arms into counseling a hopeless-seeming recovery case: a godless, drug addicted, gay street hustler.

Turner’s character narrates the tale. Arguments with the priest and sessions with the troubled youth are interspersed with soliloquies, in which she offers up memories from her wayward past as puzzle pieces that will ultimately reveal the story behind her strength, vulnerabilities and faith.

When she first speaks, it’s exciting to hear that distinctive voice of hers: a growl that sounds like it’s been caressed by years of cigarette smoke and washed down with whiskey, pinched a little by the slimness of Turner’s nose. She works this instrument into a steady rhythm which serves the caustic quips she constantly fires off, but which never varies much across the play’s peaks and valleys.

Not that there are too many of these. Shortly after Cody Randall (Evan Jonigkeit) our snarling, spiky-haired street urchin enters Sister Connelly’s office, we see how things are going to be. He rolls his eyes at the prospect of being helped and tries to hide behind silence or apathetic mumbles or shock value. She is surly and unimpressed and her tough love approach wears him down quickly. He lowers his guard and reveals more and more elements of his tragic story.

Somehow however, these sessions are being undercut. Connelly knows this has to do with her boss, Father Michael (Timothy Altmeyer) who is of course, hiding something difficult in his own past, but this the Catholic church and hierarchy rules. Not allowed to be as tough with Randall as she would like to be, the only tool she has left to offer his faith. But will this be enough?

I found myself not particularly caring. The tough nun, the shady priest and the troubled youth never branch off far enough from these basic characterizations. They never show much capacity for change and while they sometimes raise their voices, they never really break a sweat. They just each reveal more and more of their emotional damage until the pity party is complete. I suppose the appropriate thing to do is to forgive them. I wish Turner a more inspiring vehicle for her next project.

“High” is written by Matthew Lombardo and Directed by Rob Ruggiero. It is presented by Ann Cady Scott and Timothy J. Hampton in association with The Repertory Theatre of Saint Louis and AE Stages, and plays at the Cutler Majestic Theater through December 11.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-kathleen-turner-in-high-at-the-emerson-majestic/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-captors-at-the-huntington/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-captors-at-the-huntington/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:17:39 +0000 Jason Rabin http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69584

Louis Cancelmi and Michael Cristofer in Evan M. Wiener's "Captors". Photo: T. Charles Erickson

“Captors” is the best kind of memory play. It’s the kind in which memory is an action—and it’s the kind in which details have palpable moral consequences. At a time when the fall of a powerful war criminal is almost a monthly event, it’s also a deeply resonant history play.

Cohn (Daniel Eric Gold), a nebbishy-looking young writer working on a book, interrogates badass Mossad agent Peter Malkin (Louis Cancelmi), who, 30 years ago in 1960, pulled off an impossible mission. With a small team, he captured a chief architect and enforcer of the Holocaust, Adolf Eichmann, now an old man living under an alias in Argentina, and convinced him, without the use of force, to sign a statement agreeing to stand trial for his crimes in an Israeli court. Cohn narrates the story of Malkin, painstakingly dictating his version how he painstakingly convinced Eichmann that standing trial would be the only way for the high-ranking Nazi to gain control over his story.

Malkin’s greatest skill as a spy, it turns out, is his mastery of disguises. In fact he comes to bond with Eichmann (for strategic purposes) by revealing some of the tricks of physical subterfuge to this pathologically deceptive man. We watch Cohn strive to detect cosmetic tricks in Malkin’s story, and, in dramatized flashbacks, we watch Malkin and Eichmann grapple with the various metaphorical masks each adversary tries on. Designer Beowulf Borritt foregrounds them against warped glass which both reflects and distorts.

If you remember anything about the actual Eichmann trial to which the plot is a prelude, it’s probably that this man who oversaw the systemized slaughter of millions appeared chillingly nonplussed, that he appeared to be a normal, familiar enough looking fellow, who seemed at peace behind the refrain that he was only following orders. The actor Michael Cristofer (himself, an award-winning playwright), does a masterly job both of portraying Eichmann’s vulnerability, his twisted rationalizations and his sociopathic skills of manipulation. Crisofer’s riveting sparring match with the equally compelling Cancelmi demands some daunting questions.

What do we do with the pity we feel when we see an old man, naked, manhandled and terrified, knowing that this man is responsible for the death of millions of complete innocents?

As we watch Malkin struggle to put a redemptive spin on his story, how are we to feel about that chance he and his cohorts gave Eichmann for public redemption? Was this P.R. move on the part of Israel worth it for them? For the sake of history or the insights we may have gained into the psychology of a mass murder? One thinks of the P.R. debacle that was the trial of Saddam Hussein.

For his part, Malkin  is repelled by the project he is given, but must resign himself to simply follow his orders. What are we to make of this parallel?

Playwright Evan M. Weiner forces all of the right questions in this, his impressive first work for the stage. Catch “Captors” if you can.

Staged by Huntington artistic director Peter DuBois, “Captors” plays at the B.U. Theatre through December 11.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/stage-review-captors-at-the-huntington/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-is-this-feminist-angry/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-is-this-feminist-angry/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:52:00 +0000 Neely Steinberg http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69533

(Originally published on The Good Men Project)

On my day off from work the other week, I engaged in my first Twitter debate. I was perusing the Timeline when I came across a Tweet from Amanda Marcotte, a writer for Pandagon and one of the leaders of today’s feminist movement. I had been in touch with Marcotte recently, asking her to contribute to my piece on Skirtgate, the Park Slope, Brooklyn sexual assaults contretemps (which, incidentally, inspired my next piece titled Feminism: The Winter of Men’s Discontent, a commentary on the rise of misandry and men’s growing resentment toward feminism). Marcotte tweeted that she was disgusted with the New York Times for giving air-time to Katie Roiphe, who argued in a recent op-ed that sexual harassment in the workplace is an irrelevant, antiquated institution. Or in her words: “When I was at Princeton in the ’90s, the guidelines distributed to students about sexual harassment stated, “sexual harassment may result from a conscious or unconscious action, and can be subtle or blatant.”… If this language was curiously retrograde in the early ’90s, if it harkened back to the protection of delicate feminine sensibilities in an era when that protection was patently absurd, it is even more outdated now when women are yet more powerful and ascendant in the workplace.”

Roiphe is one of the most talked about cultural critics of her generation (her book Uncommon Arrangements: Seven Portraits of Married Life in London Literary Circles 1910-1939 was a delight to read, by the way). But Marcotte isn’t a fan. Fueled by her rage at Roiphe’s commentary, Marcotte launched insults at her throughout her response piece, writing things like, “She cashes that NY Times paycheck while doing no real research that could actually upend her baseless assertions” and “I’m looking forward to Roiphe’s denunciation of Dan Savage’s It Gets Better project, where she scoffs at the idea that pantsing a kid and calling him ‘fag’ on a daily basis should be a matter of concern, and not just a delightful expression of youthful boisterousness that shouldn’t be troubled by the high suicide rate amongst gay teens.” Marcotte considers Roiphe a giggling “hair-curler” who “panders to sexist men for condescending head pats.”

When I engaged Marcotte on Twitter I knew I was in for a wild ride. She is adept at Tweet debating (Twebating?) and dominated our discussion, firing out replies and replies to my replies three or four at a time, leaving me heady and confused as to which reply I should reply to. I’m new to Twitter and am still working on Tweet etiquette and strategies. Perhaps I tried too hard to fit all of my thoughts into one tweet – often substituting numbers for letters and symbols for words, which I now see is not the most couth approach – as opposed to doing it piecemeal like Marcotte.

The question that started it all was based off Marcotte’s response piece, in which she used the word slut several times (she wasn’t calling Roiphe a slut but used the word in other ways). I was curious to know, simply: “Do you have a definition for the word slut?” In recent times, feminists have appropriated the word, wearing it like a badge of honor at various protests, such as the Slut Walks, but I wanted to know how Marcotte actually defined it. Here’s how the debate began (I’ve done my best to reconstruct it):

AmandaMarcotte

http://bit.ly/tGiyq3 Fucking disgusting that the NY Times continues to run people questioning whether or not to allow harassers full rein.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte - Hi, Amanda. Curious: Do you have a definition for the word slut?

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg Yep. A “slut” is someone who has had sex with two more people than the person calling the target a slut.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg “Slut”, however, has no relationship to reality. It can’t be measured and basically is meaningless without misogyny.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg In other words, to believe in the concept of a “slut”, you must believe women are inferior to men on some level.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte - Can we agree it’s not just a term used toward females? What about misandry – women calling men “sluts”? That happens too.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg If you believe that, I have a bridge I can sell you.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte - may not happen as often, but my friends and i have called men “sluts” and “man whores” plenty of times. it goes both ways.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte – Don’t understand how u go from critiquing Roiphe to saying she would scoff at calling little boys “fags.” A stretch, no?

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg It’s a really nice bridge. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Can you get to the San Francisco area soon with your checkbook?

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg It’s also made of PURE GOLD. And you can have it for a mere $5,000. It’s an incredible bargain.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte -i had a feeling u would start to belittle my thoughts…a shame…I’m a fellow female who is just trying 2 have a dialogue.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg If you believe ironically calling someone a manslut is the same as calling a woman a slut, you have growing up to do.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg I don’t really see the point in arguing with people who are being disingenuous, sorry.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg And I can’t force you to grow up on Twitter, so what’s the point of engaging you?

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte - that’s ur biggest mistake, amanda. thinking that people who disagree w/you r being disingenuous. for the record, i’m not.

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte – why is calling someone a man slut ironic? you don’t think women feel grossed out by men who fuck everything that moves??

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg If calling a man a “slut” with humor is the same thing as calling a woman one sincerely, then I AM selling you a bridge.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg If you sincerely don’t believe in irony or nuance or context, then you believe I’m actually trying to sell you a bridge.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg You can’t have it both ways. So what’s your offer on that bridge? I’m not mocking you; there is no such thing as irony.

AmandaMarcotte

@NeelySteinberg For the record, I do think you’re being disingenuous. The only other option is “really daft”, and I don’t want to think that

NeelySteinberg

@AmandaMarcotte – that’s right. begin the ad hominem attacks.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-is-this-feminist-angry/feed/ 1 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/intoducing-mp4-love/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/intoducing-mp4-love/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:48:11 +0000 Neely Steinberg http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69472

I’ve dedicated a good portion of my life to writing, thinking, and speaking about dating, sex, love, and relationships.

I’ve written countless articles and hosted two radio shows and an internet TV show about these important subjects. At 34, I’ve had a ton of experiences out there in the dating and relationship world, and I want to share what I’ve learned with you by answering your questions. I am here to help you in your quest to find a healthy, happy dating life and/or relationship. I promise to always be honest and to try my darnedest to practice in my own life what I preach to you.

So send me your dating, sex, love, and relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com, and I’ll reply to you when my video answer has been posted on Blast.

Your real name will not be used. Please keep your questions under 500 words.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/mp4-love/intoducing-mp4-love/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/blast-contest-create-a-vampyre-vodka-cocktail-win-cool-prizes/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/blast-contest-create-a-vampyre-vodka-cocktail-win-cool-prizes/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:03:40 +0000 Shannon O'Neill http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69460

This fall, Blast and the makers of Vampyre Vodka gave you some blood-suckingly delicious Halloween-inspired cocktail recipes to try. Now, it’s your turn! Submit your own holiday cocktail ideas featuring Vampyre Vodka to us by Jan. 1, and one lucky winner will receive a Vampyre Vodka t-shirt, Vampire gourmet coffee and Vampire dark Belgian chocolate. Don’t forget to give your cocktail a blood-curdlingly awesome name!

Email your cocktail recipes to me at shannonconeill@gmail.com with the subject line “Blast Vampyre Vodka Cocktail Contest” by Jan. 1. Include your name and contact information in the e-mail. And sorry, we know vampires are ageless, but you must be 21+ to enter the contest.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/blast-contest-create-a-vampyre-vodka-cocktail-win-cool-prizes/feed/ 1 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/trend-alert-sexy-photo-albums-for-fiances/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/trend-alert-sexy-photo-albums-for-fiances/#comments Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:42:45 +0000 Neely Steinberg http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69178

This photo by Daphne Weld Nichols shows a bride who apparently came in to give her husband-to-be a photo album of sexy pictures as a wedding present. Channel 7 filmed this woman for a segment they did a short while back

The other day while sitting in the locker room at my gym, I saw a segment on Inside Edition discussing a new trend called “boudoir photography.” For those of you who didn’t study French, “boudoir” means a lady‘s private bedroom, sitting room or dressing room, or, according to Urban Dictionary, “a room where you can get S&M with Rihanna.” Let’s use the first definition for the purposes here. In this type of photography the photographer takes pictures of a woman in an actual boudoir (possibly hers) or in a studio designed to look like one. As you might have guessed, the woman posing is scantily clad. Boudoir photography isn’t necessarily a new art form, but as the segment mentioned, recently there’s been a surge of women giving boudoir photo albums as wedding presents to their fiances — the gal featured on Inside Edition did just that. Although you couldn’t see it through his pants, something was definitely happening down below, as the husband-to-be flipped through the final product, grinning ear-to-ear. And why shouldn’t he be … ahem, aroused? She looked hot and the photography was spectacular. The lady sitting next to me, who was in her fifties and looked a little something like this, shook her head in disapproval. “Is that really necessary?” she groaned, gnashing her teeth.

To which I now reply (because I didn’t then, managing only a brief smirk): YES! I think boudoir photography is the greatest thing since sliced bread and this and quite possibly these. If you’re going to be sleeping with one person for the rest of your life, which assumes you won’t be signing up for this God-awful site, anything you can do to spice up your sex life is a brilliant game plan. To the ladies: Men love when their partners confidently express their sexuality – a private, for his-eyes-only keepsake in the form of erotic pictures is the perfect way to show him that you want him and that you want him to want you. Plus, in fifty years, when your chest looks like this, he’ll have a reminder of what you used to look like, and just maybe he’ll be able to forgo the Viagra for a few more rolls in the hay or Craftmatic adjustable. It’s a win-win, really.

When I mentioned the segment to my boyfriend, he thought immediately of an advertisement in the back of Improper Bostonian. He remembered it, because, well … what able-bodied male wouldn’t remember an advertisement in which a woman is posing provocatively wearing nothing more than a bra, panties, and garter, with an expression on her face that’s saying, “Take me, lover, and have your way with me!”? So, the next day, when I passed by an Improper Bostonian sidewalk dispenser, I pulled out an issue and took a gander at the last couple pages. Lo and behold, there she was! A lady looking seductively at the camera, mouth agape, with the words Fantasy Photography by Daphne nuzzled between her supple breasts.

My interest was piqued – who was this Daphne lady? After perusing her Web site and watching a behind-the-scenes You Tube video of a client during a photo session, I decided to get in touch with her to find out more. Turns out, Daphne Weld Nichols has been doing boudoir (or fantasy) photography for more than 25 years. Her interest in the genre, as stated in her biography, began when she came across an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine, which told how a particular Playboy Playmate of the Month captured the eye of a Hollywood producer, who in turn sent for the centerfold model to audition for a part in his latest film. When the centerfold model arrived for the appointment, the producer did not even recognize her, stating that the woman in his office did not bare the slightest resemblance to the perfect fantasy girl he had seen in the magazine.

“In that moment, when I read that article, I said to myself, ‘men are truly duped,’” said Weld Nichols. It was at that moment that she felt she received her calling. ”I wanted to be the equalizer for the average woman who doesn’t have all the beauty enhancement techniques, products, services, and artists that help manufacture the unattainable, unrealistic images that men see in the magazines.”

Fantasy Photography by Daphne was thus born. Her clientele, mostly women, ranging from 18 to 90 (!), couldn’t be happier with their experience and the end product. Weld Nichols, a native Bostonian whose studio is located in Arlington, MA, echoed the trend of younger women booking shoots so they can give albums as wedding gifts to their husbands: “We just had an 18-year-old newlywed come in, and about 50 percent of our clients fall between 21-35.” Mostly married, working women who have money to spend take advantage of Weld Nichols’ services, which, in addition to the shoot, include a complimentary consultation, full makeup application and hair styling by her all-female crew of stylists, as well as plenty of pampering on the big day.

While the impetus for most clients is indeed to present their mates with sexy photographs, Weld Nichols explained that many women usually want or need the excuse of it being a gift, highlighting perhaps the more prurient desires of the fairer sex. Many also come in for facebook or Match.com photos. To take the edge off and make the client feel safe – most are anxious at the start of the session – Weld Nichols makes use of Feng Shui and healing energy to make the studio space as relaxing as possible. “We make an effort to tune into each client, since everyone is different, so every session is a unique experience.”

Tricia Traxler, one of Weld Nichols’ older clients, speaks to that connection.  ”I can’t emphasize enough the connection we made and their ability to get me to relax. It was like stepping into an alternate reality and peeling the onion in order to reach through the day-to-day pressures to get to the real and true beautiful self,” said Traxler, who lives in Massachusetts and owns her own business in executive placement. “It was a transformative experience.” Traxler came to Weld Nichols when she turned 50 to “cast in stone” her look at the time. “There is nothing like getting a beautiful, professional set of photographs made that captures your essence,” she opined. “No matter your age, you are at your peak of beauty once you have this experience with them and will want to go back again and again (and I have) to mark other milestones and track your progress in life. Everyone should do this for themselves and would be happier for it.  I did this for me but it is a beautiful, personal, heartfelt gift for couples to share.”

Over the years, Daphne and her crew have seen some incredible transformations – timid ladies letting go of their inhibitions and insecurities; average-looking women blossoming into swans – but her most memorable shoot was when a handicapped woman came to her studio. “Her husband carried her up to the third floor where our studio was at the time. She had been in an airplane crash as a young woman. She felt so happy, sexy, and beautiful after her session that she painted a watercolor of herself, named it ‘Fantasy Dream,’ and gave it to us.”

There have also been some bizarre moments in Weld Nichols’ nearly three-decade career, like when a woman came in, shook her hand and said, “Hi, my name is Rene and I used to be a man.” Or the time when a handsome man wearing a three-piece suit, carrying a briefcase, came in for a consultation for his bride-to be’s session and it turned out that he was to be the bride. “The day of the shoot, we kept looking around for his fiancé, until finally he came clean and told us he always wanted to be a bride in a white gown,” said Weld Nichols. “Most of these types of unusual occurrences have been with men – Harvard professors, judges, high-powered attorneys, some wearing full beards, who have secret lives as women.” She continued: “There have also been many married women who made it clear to us that they wanted to do the hot sexy photographs for their lovers on the side.” Yowza! Maybe they were members of this God-awful site.

Not all men, though, coming in to Weld Nichols’ studio are gender benders. “Dudeoir Photography,” as Daphne playfully calls it, focuses more on internet dating photographs, and business and traditional portraits.

I’ll admit that some of the studio shots I viewed on Weld Nichols’ website (unfortunately, I wasn’t able to visit the studio) reminded me a little bit of the gal in the glamor shot photo Napoleon Dynamite – in the eponymously named movie – pretends is his girlfriend, but many of the portraits are beautiful, capturing the romance and beauty of the female form in all its glory. And testimonials of Weld Nichols’ superior artistry, professionalism, and warmth abound: This woman even wrote a blog about her experience. Clients also have the option to be photographed at their own home, if a studio shoot isn’t their aesthetic ideal.

So if you’re about to walk down the aisle, if you’ve been married for several years and are looking to freshen up a marriage gone stale or want to make an already blazing union even hotter, or if you’re just in the market for a sexy album of yourself that you’ll be able to flip through for years to come, get thee to a boudoir photographer. Weld Nichols is waiting for your phone call.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/trend-alert-sexy-photo-albums-for-fiances/feed/ 5 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/condom-purses-promote-safe-sex-break-down-stereotypes/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/condom-purses-promote-safe-sex-break-down-stereotypes/#comments Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:05:50 +0000 Shannon O'Neill http://blastmagazine.com/?p=69065

Dirty Little SKYN Cosmetics Bags ($25)

You’re about to get lucky: Are you covered? The approach of World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 serves as a reminder that carrying–and, of course, using–condoms can be a life saving decision. Fashion designer Maggie Kervick and LifeStyles condoms want to show you that being protected can be fashionable, too.

Kervick and LifeStyles have teamed up for a line of  vinyl bags made to look like SKYN condom wrappers, part of the “I’m Covered Campaign.” One dollar from each purchase will benefit Answer, a national sex education organization associated with Rutgers University.

“I’m hoping to break down the stereotype that if a guy has a condom he is considered ‘prepared,’ but if a girl has a condom she is considered a ‘tramp,’” says Kervick. “The bag is a great conversational piece that will relay a message to onlookers about the woman carrying the bag–how she is confident, responsible, and protected.  The ‘I’m Covered Campaign’ reinforces the need for self-respect and a proactive approach in regards to protecting oneself from STIs and unwanted pregnancies.”

The bags come in three styles, the Living in SKYN Tote ($55), the Dirty Little SKYN Cosmetics Bags ($25) and the I’m a Slave for SKYN Wristlet ($20). Bonus: Get a free pack of LifeStyles condoms and information on how to use them with each purchase!

To learn more or to buy a bag, go to bagsbymags.com.

Living in SKYN Tote ($55)

 

I'm a Slave for SKYN Wristlet ($20)

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/condom-purses-promote-safe-sex-break-down-stereotypes/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-teenage-breast-implants-are-a-bad-idea/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-teenage-breast-implants-are-a-bad-idea/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:36:35 +0000 Patricia Leavy http://blastmagazine.com/?p=68702

Can’t think of what to get your teen this holiday season? Some are forgetting traditional gifts for daughter such as jewelry and new clothes, and jumping on the breast implant bandwagon. Under the guise of giving their daughters a self-esteem lift, these parents may be setting them up for a lifetime of chronic low self-esteem.

Just a few nights ago I watched a tabloid television show that featured a mother who proudly bought her teenage daughter breast implants. I guess it was a sort of grown up mommy-and-me experience as the mother also had implants. I suspect the story I watched was fairly typical. The daughter had been teased in school because of her small breasts, became highly insecure and wanted implants. Her mother obliged. I have no doubt that this mother, like many other parents, was trying to help her daughter build her self-esteem. Sadly, she has likely done the very opposite.

There are 3 main dangers for teens getting breast implants, all of which they are ill-equipped to understand and properly consider at their age: 1. physical 2. financial, and 3. emotional/psychological (see http://www.breastimplantinfo.org/news/teen_implants.html).

1. Physical dangers: breast development can continue into early twenties; breast augmentation has a very high complication rate often requiring additional surgeries; an increased risk of various types of cancer as well as severe depression; risk of infection and even death; breast implants interfere with mammography (obscuring more than half of all breast tumors); less likely to be able to breast feed successfully (which carries health benefits for the child); if they change their mind at any time removal of implants can cause severe sagginess which is likely to cause more body dissatisfaction; and, breast pain and loss of sensation in the nipples is common (as teenage females have not reached their sexual peak yet they may be giving up personal sexual pleasure for life before they have had a chance to understand how their body works and they are objectifying their own body).

2. Financial dangers: corrective treatments and surgical procedures can be very expensive and may occur at a time when they are financially independent (they may not realize the potential medical costs they will incur over time).

3. Emotional/psychological dangers: teenage body image dissatisfaction is likely to lessen or go away with age; parents are validating that there is something “wrong” with their daughter’s body; and, possible loss of sexual pleasure has a psychological component as young women learn to prioritize males’ viewing pleasure over their own bodily pleasure.

Looking at the preceding list of risks it is clear that these are serious consequences a teenager is unlikely to comprehend on any meaningful level. Putting this list of dangers aside though we can return most simply to the reason the mother I saw gave-in to her daughter’s breast implant request-the reason I suspect other parents do too. Young women are often teased by their peers for not measuring up to the media ideal of the body-beautiful and so they develop a poor body concept and parents want to help them. Breast implants are not the answer.

There is no quick-fix for self-esteem; it must be built up internally. Giving in to external pressures will only feed insecurity in the long-run and set our daughters up for a life time of substituting others’ judgments for their own. Breasts comes in all shapes and sizes, there are even artificial ones. However, there are no substitutes for real self-confidence and trying to fake it will backfire.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/why-teenage-breast-implants-are-a-bad-idea/feed/ 3 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/growing-the-facial-hair-for-movember/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/growing-the-facial-hair-for-movember/#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:39:59 +0000 John M. Guilfoil http://blastmagazine.com/?p=68583

I’ve been sporting a beard for most of the year, but this month, it’s all about the Movember Mustache.

A bunch of friends, family, and I are raising money for Movember. Each year, in November, the Movember charity is responsible for mustaches sprouting all over the country on men’s faces.

Movember raises money for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men. The charity gives funding to the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG – The Lance Armstrong Foundation as well as its own educational and awareness programs.

I started by shaving off the facial hair. Little by little, it’s been growing back, but I admit I still have to get rid of the beard and chin hair and really shape my Movember Mustache. In the mean time, our team has raised more than $1,200 so far.

To learn more, and to donate, visit my Movember page.

]]> http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/growing-the-facial-hair-for-movember/feed/ 0 http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/nine-unassuming-places-to-meet-women-and-how-to-meet-them/ http://blastmagazine.com/the-magazine/culturefashion/kinky-stuff/nine-unassuming-places-to-meet-women-and-how-to-meet-them/#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:08:33 +0000 Neely Steinberg http://blastmagazine.com/?p=68574

If you’re tired of going to places like this to meet women, then you’ve stumbled across the perfect resource.

Single women are almost always on the lookout for eligible men. Sometimes they may not appear to be interested, but inside they’re really saying, “I hope that cute guy over there breaks the ice.” While I thought the movie was pretty stupid, Will Smith nails it in the opening scene of the movie Hitch, in which he explains that women hardly ever wake up thinking, “I don’t want to be swept off my feet today.”

A male friend of mine recently commented that although he’s now in a great relationship with someone he met online he’s started to notice more the many beautiful, single women all around him. He has no interest in these women and is in love with his girlfriend, but he found it curious that once he settled down and started expanding his horizons socially by participating in different kinds of activities he enjoyed, the women started to come out of the woodwork.

So if you’re a single guy, if you’re ready for love, if you’ve decided the bar scene isn’t cutting it anymore, and if you’re looking for something a little more organic than online dating, I’ve compiled a list of unassuming spots to meet women, some of which you may scoff at but definitely places where you’ll be able to meet lots of eligible ladies who are just waiting for you to sweep them off their feet.

Of course, listing the spots is only half the battle: Putting yourself in the company of women is the first step, but the key is to know what to do when that cute, little blonde is standing next to you, twirling her hair.

For pick-up strategies, I turned to the inimitable Gareth Jones. Voted the Best New Pick Up Artist of 2010, Jones, an ABCs Of Attraction instructor for more than two years, is known worldwide as a life-changing in-field coach and as the master of phone and text game from his Text To Sex program. This guy is so smooth, he convinced a porn star to take a 45-minute, $160 cab ride over to his house in the wee hours of the morning, for, well … acts of a sexual nature. Fast forward to 6:03 for the story.

He has taught in London, Sydney, Melbourne, and has been referred to by several students as “One of the best decisions of my life.” If you’re looking to attain a James Bond level of suave, Jones is your man.

Before we get to my top picks, though, Jones had a few general pointers, in his words:

First, we want to understand the two types of ‘openers’: These are “canned” and “situational.”

Canned openers are openers that you’ve prepared beforehand. In days of yore, guys would have ‘lines’ they’d use (i.e. “Do your legs hurt because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”). Nowadays, we tend to lean towards more interactive conversation openers that aren’t so cheesy. This is best formed with any kind of question to get her engaged, such as, “Hey, quick question, is it O.K. to wear jeans to a wedding?” (Neely’s note: No, it isn’t, unless it’s this kind of a wedding.) For some, these seem forced and can get a guy stuck in his head, but we’ve all been in that situation where we’ve either frozen up or simply couldn’t think of anything to say, so we know how important it is to be prepared. I always tell people to have at least one engaging opener prepared so we don’t lose the girl of our dreams on account of a brain fart.

Situational openers are just that: A question or statement composed off the cuff about an element in the current situation. Maybe this is a question about what kind of coffee she’s purchased or a comment about the long line you two are suffering in. A situational opener is unpracticed and spontaneous. A lot of guys find these quite difficult (especially when they start thinking they need to be witty to win a girl over right away), but undoubtedly, they give off a much more natural vibe, which is always preferable. It’s in this category that direct openers fall. They are one of the most genuine and, therefore, powerful openers. You are simply showing direct interest in a way that is true to you, so the actual words always vary. It may be something as specific as, “I absolutely love the way you’ve matched your shoes to your nail polish. Was that on purpose?” Or something as simple as, “I had to come over here and tell you I think you’re stunning. My name’s Gareth.”

Now that we’ve understood the forms with which we can engage, let’s look at some of the most important elements of actually talking to a girl.

The first, and, to me, the most important aspect of beginning a conversation with a stranger is, undoubtedly, the smile. Guys are always trying to be the “cool” guy that gets the chicks. More often than not, this comes off as really cold or, sometimes, downright frightening. When we smile at a woman it makes her feel good and shows her that we’re confident, friendly, and not up to no-good (don’t ever use no double negatives).

Another really important element of the approach is engaging her. One of the huge problems guys have when approaching women using a direct opener is that they simply compliment her and expect her to carry the conversation. Imagine a homeless man coming up to you and saying, “I like your shoes.” You’d say, “Thanks,” and try to get away as quickly as possible. That’s essentially what she’s going to do (unless she happens to be physically attracted to you, but that’s another story), so we’re going to need a way to engage her. This is as simple as asking a question. Whether it be a canned opener (which usually is a question in itself) or a situational opener, I make sure I follow up my initial line with something that will engage her. The strength of the nail polish compliment above comes from my interest in whether she chose to match or if it was an accident. I’m not putting an undue weight on her with a compliment that she’s expected to return, I simply happen to be complimenting her while I ask about her style.

Once we’ve shown her that we’re friendly and we’ve engaged her in the conversation, we can take it practically anywhere we want (which is up to your game). For the spots Neely’s chosen, I’ve added a list of “If I were here … I might say this … .”

1. Cultural centers

Neely: In Boston, for instance, the French Cultural Center is sure to turn up some intellectual, attractive ladies. In fact, I know it does: My boyfriend volunteers there, and when I went to visit him once at an event, I was bombarded by several young beauties. Find a cultural center in your city that meshes with your geographical sensibilities, and you may just find a great date.

Jones: Any cultural center almost certainly presupposes common interest, so a conversation is easy to start with something like, “I’ve always wanted to learn to speak French and I’m really glad to finally have the time. What brings you here?”

2. Open art studios

Neely: Women flock to open art shows. There’s just something about dim lighting, free wine, and aesthetic beauty that really gets our juices flowing.

Jones: If art is your interest, a studio is a great place to meet someone of similar passion; if it’s not, it’s a great place to meet someone you can learn from. “I know I shouldn’t, but I always tend to pick a favorite when I’m in a gallery. You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.”

3.Clothing events

Neely: If you don’t know yet that women could shop all day long, every day, then you apparently haven’t been living on planet Earth or have been too busy playing Modern Warfare on your Xbox to notice. There’s a gazillion clothing events (trunks shows, store promotions, openings, fashion shows, etc.) going on in your city, so get your ass there – the ladies will be plentiful.

Jones:Fashion events are great places for fashion forward people to meet, but make sure you’re dressed to the nines! “This collection is phenomenal. Do you know who the designer is?”

4. Salsa classes

Neely: My friend and three of her girlfriends signed up for salsa classes with Boston Center for Adult Education hoping to meet men there. When they showed up, there were five other attractive women and one 78-year-old man named Gene. Here: I’ll make it easy for you Boston gentlemen.

Jones: Dance classes are such a great way to meet and interact with women and they practically beg you to talk to other people. Say something as simple as, “Do you have a partner tonight?” Also, try not to say this in a seductive way while winking a bunch. I mean, you can, but let’s take it slow for now.

5. Dog park

Neely: An old boyfriend of mine had what I would consider the most awesome dog ever. When he had to go out of town his good friend was more than happy to take the dog for a few days, because that meant he could take him to the dog park to meet women. Just think about how women love to gather around a cute pooch (I’d stay away from the grey-hound, furless types and opt for the you’re-so-cute-I-just-want-to->stand-here-all-day-and-pet-you-which-is-perfect-so-my-owner-can-hit-on-you types). Of course, it’s possible the dog thing could backfire on you, like in this pee-your-pants hilarious movie clip from The Lonely Guy, but I doubt it. Note: If only Steve Martin knew what to say when all those ladies were crowded around his pup. Jones to the rescue!

Jones: Whenever there are animals playing, people are usually in a great mood. I’ve met so many women out playing with my friends’ dogs and it’s always incredibly easy to strike up conversations with a simple compliment and follow-up. “I think a happy dog says something about its owner. Is she/he always this playful?”

6. Jogging club

Neely: Do you know how many great women I know who join these groups? A lot. Plus, when you’re sweating your pheromones are at their finest, which will allow her to sniff you out in all your perspiratory glory.

Jones: It completely escapes me why anyone would join a jogging club, but it’s another common interest that is sure to be a perfect opener. I might say, “That was a great route. Do you have a favorite area you love to run through?”

7. Yoga/Pilates

Neely: Again, a breeding ground for the ladies, and no doubt in-shape ones. Plus you get to stare at their … yoga pants. C’mon, boys, get your mind out of the gutter! Jeez!

Jones: Of this list, definitely my favorite. At yoga, it’s going to be 90% women and they’re all going to be fit and motivated. Maybe I’ll say, “I’ve never been here before, but I like the vibe. Have you been coming here long?”

8. Volunteer at an animal shelter

Neely: I know several young gals who help out at pet shelters. What better way to meet someone who has a shared love of animals and a great heart?

Jones: I’m pretty sure all you have to do to meet women while you’re volunteering at a pet shelter is to be well dressed and walk up to her, stick out your hand and say, “Hi. I’m Gareth. I’m the type of guy that volunteers at pet shelters” and it’ll be a go, but just in case it’s not, I might simply tell a woman, “I admire people that you have time to give back to the community. What brings you here?”

9. Volunteer at a political campaign

Neely: Couples who have drastically different political viewpoints have it tough. You’re almost certain to meet someone of the same mindset, with the same values, if you meet them while volunteering for a political campaign. No more counting down the dates until you can bring up the fact that you are the proud owner of an NRA membership, or that you’re favorite hero is that fat slob of a filmmaker Michael Moore, because you already know you won’t offend the other with your political leanings. And trust me: The campaign parties and social gatherings are teeming with single women.

Jones: Politics are always tricky when first meeting people, but if you’re meeting someone that’s volunteering for the same campaign you are, it might be a little less hazardous. How about, “Isn’t it nice to be in a place where you can meet someone and know your political views will line up?”

Jones concluded by saying: “As always, remember that a big smile and solid eye contact are super important. Relax, be present in the interaction, and LISTEN!”

Which has always been my biggest advice to men: If you can listen (and listen well – good eye contact, active gestures, etc.), we are putty in your hands.

Good luck, boys!

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