Although my 25-year-old brain isn’t entirely sure what I played and why I was playing it, I am pretty confident in saying that Bakugan does not entirely suck.  It is derivative and not really that original, which would be a problem if it were aimed at (allegedly) mature adults such as myself, but it seems fine for its kid to teenage target audience.

My confusion stems from the feel of the story and plot, which is strictly low-quality, Saturday morning cartoon level filler.  You play as a youth who, uh, loves this card battling game that features creatures popping out of balls.  Think Pokemon, but with a bit of a technological and alien bent as opposed to animals.  Your youth is plucky, with a whole cast of stereotypes to help you out – A super cool dude who serves as a tag team partner, an obvious bully and a lackey to fight against, several girls that are cute but have no personalities of their own, and a nerdy kid who is obviously very nerdy because of his nerdy kid glasses.

Although all of the characters are definitely stock, straight from central casting, the voiceover work is done pretty well.  Likewise, the graphics are Saturday morning cartoon, but in the good way – Crisp, colorful backgrounds and good animation on the actual battlefields.  While the voiceover and graphics aren’t selling points, they do not actively take away from the experience.

If you are reading this and under the age of 18, then the above characters and presentation might appeal to you greatly.  If you are not, then you will have to rely on the gameplay, which is so-so.  While there are some fun aspects here and there, the basic gameplay is rather unrefined.

Bakugan is essentially a “monster battling” game, similar to the aforementioned Pokemon.  You create a deck of cards, compromised of three attacking monsters, three base cards and three power-up cards.  At the start of combat, you are transported to an arena, and you have to place down a base card.  You then use the Wiimote to “throw” a ball – one of your attacking monsters – on to one of the base cards placed by you or your opponent.  The control pad can be used to “steer” the ball in the air, and also after it lands.  You opponent then throws, followed by you again.

The goal is to win three gate cards.  If you can land two of your monsters on a single gate card, then you can claim it.  However, the main combat occurs when you and an enemy land on the card, which initiates a battle.  Each monster has a “power” level – think hit points – that can be amplified depending on the base card the fight takes place on.  For example, a Holy powered monster might get an extra 50 points for fighting on a Holy battlefield.

There are a few other wrinkles from here.  First, you can use power-up cards to give yourself some extra points.  And second, each battle features one of three mini-games – a rhythm timing game, a shooting game with the Wiimote pointer or a masturbatory shaking – in order to further increase the power level. Whoever has the higher number wins.  There are also power-ups your monster can collect while rolling around the arena as well, to raise or increase the power level, and to debilitate your opponents with annoying status effects.

It’s simpler than it seems, and unfortunately, you don’t need a lot of the extra options, like the movement or even doing well on the mini-games.  For the most part, I was able to accurately throw the balls on to cards with little trouble, with the computer’s success rate was about 50 percent.  I was able to win most of the game’s battles within three to five turns.

This lack of challenge and generally unoriginal gameplay creates a sense of “meh” while playing Bakugan.  It is kind of fun, but my old fogey mind kept thinking back to Pokemon, and how much better that was, even though its prevalent color was an odd sort of green and I played it on the original, chunky Game Boy that now doubles as a paperweight for me.

There are some attempts here and there to prolong the Bakugan experience.  For example, you can purchase new monsters at a store, and like every game of this type, there is an emphasis on collecting every monster, gate card and power-up card.  This will probably only appeal to the few ensnared enough by the game to continue with it though, and it’s not really a drawing point if you don’t like the basic gameplay.  Likewise, tag team, battle royal and multiplayer matches are available, but they’re all just more of the same.

Blast Factor: Bakugan has a very narrow niche in my mind – Boys who aren’t trying to get laid yet.  If you have one of these in your household, then this is a good game to forestall that hellish part of their life (also known medically as “The Rest of Their Life”) for another month or so.  If you don’t fall into this group though, Bakugan isn’t worth its price tag.  Just plow through the game in a quick renting if you think it’s your cup of tea.

Bakugan is available on the Wii, DS, Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Playstation 2. A copy of this game was given to us by the publisher for reviewing purposes.

Hey, don’t walk, “jump” and buy Guitar Hero: Van Halen!‚  Ha ha ha!‚  Man, I’m so witty “" Around the Blast offices, if we had such a thing that I hung around, they would say I’m the funniest guy in there.‚  Wooooo!

Anyway, don’t let my horribly corny jokes dissuade you from checking out Van Halen’s edition of Guitar Hero.‚  It offers much more depth than you’d expect from an installment of Guitar Hero that is more of a side project, and it totally shames the Rock Band offering of The Beatles, at least in this humble reviewer’s opinion.‚  While it clearly isn’t as polished or as much of a value as Guitar Hero 5, if you love Van Halen or need more Guitar Hero fun, it is a clear “must buy” for you.

As you can imagine from the premise of the title, Guitar Hero: Van Halen focuses primarily on the band.‚  Almost every significant single is included, from the pure arena rock nature of “Jump” to the… uh, other arena rock songs, like “Hot For Teacher” and “Jamie’s Crying.”‚  Happily though, some deeper tracks are included, such as the ultimate shredding song, “Eruption” which is as ridiculously difficult as you would expect.

A note right up front about the song selection “" The game only features songs and avatars of the current‚  lineup of Van Halen.‚  Given the band’s notoriously challenged relationship with past contributors, this probably isn’t shocking to most of you reading that actually enjoy Van Halen.‚  Almost every David Lee Roth song of significance is included in the 25 Van Halen tracks, and the avatars are of Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen.

When it comes to the other 19 tracks, they were picked out by the 18-year-old Wolfgang, the son of Eddie, and it shows.‚  Weezer, Foo Fighters, Blink-182, Jimmy Eat World and Fountains of Wayne are artists you would normally associate more with modern rock, but I’d argue that they have more in common with Van Halen than, say, Twisted Sister, or some other hair band from Van Halen’s era.‚  Case in point “" While era contemporary The Clash have a song on the game, “Safe European Home” is more gritty punk than the refined, arena rock sound of Van Halen.

The difficulty of Guitar Hero: Van Halen is definitely a tick up from the most recent rhythm game releases, Guitar Hero 5 and Rock Band: The Beatles.‚  Then again, that is probably to be expected with the tracks featured.‚  The guitar and bass portions feature lots and lots of notes, especially if you’re trying to segue from The Beatles, who feature fairly simple transitions and chords.

However, while the game is incredible at its core goal “" Roth-era Van Halen excellence “" it doesn’t incorporate some of the features from Guitar Hero 5.‚  I suspect that development on this game began far before the completion of Guitar Hero 5, which might explain why some of the new tweaks weren’t incorporated.‚  (It might also explain why there is a Foo Fighters song present, even though Dave Grohl got pissed that his former band mate was a playable character in Guitar Hero 5.)‚  For example, there is no drop-in play, and while you can chose or create an avatar to play as, you can’t swap out other members of the band.‚  On the plus side, the crowd sings along during certain choruses.

One other sticking point is the price – $50 for the Wii edition.‚  Eech.‚  For practically the same amount, Guitar Hero 5 is a much better bargain, since it provides almost double the amount of songs: 85 to 45.‚  Although Guitar Hero: Van Halen was a throw-in for purchasing Guitar Hero 5 early and features half the songs, this is not reflected in the price at all.

Blast Factor: Your enjoyment of this game though, as with any of these band-specific rhythm games, hinges on your enjoyment of the track list.‚  I love Van Halen, so I loved this game.‚  If you love Van Halen, the higher price tag will probably not dissuade.‚  In addition, if you love modern rock and alternative, this is definitely the best track list next to Guitar Hero: Modern Hits for the Nintendo DS.

Guitar Hero: Van Halen is available on the Wii, Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 systems, at a cost of $49.99 and $59.99 respectively. This review concerns the Wii version. A copy of this game was redeemed via the Guitar Hero 5 offer for review purposes; the official retail version is not available until December 22.

Did you like The Lord of the Rings Playstation 2 games?‚  You know, the ones where you played as Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, Frodo and others, hacking and slashing thousands of enemies with nary a mind paid to defense.‚  I know I constantly thought to myself, “I’d love to play this game, but without licensed characters, with ridiculously dark backgrounds and bad lighting, and a stupid gameplay feature, set thousands of years in the future!”

“¦ Wait, actually, that never happened.‚  But somewhat unfortunately, Spyborgs did.‚  If you lust for the days of mowing through thousands of enemies, then this game is kind of okay.‚  I mean, on a primal level, it is fun to just repeatedly jam on a button to beat things into a pulp of mechanical gadgetry, completely oblivious to the block and jump buttons because you don’t really need them anyway.‚  However, Spyborgs has several nagging features that make this seemingly simple goal harder to accomplish.

For starters, they do not believe in lights in the future.‚  Apparently, they live in a despotic world run by Al Gore, and all light sources have been eliminated in order to fight global warming.‚  This might be a slight exaggeration on my part, but only slightly so “" Half the time I was playing Spyborgs, I had trouble discerning the character I was controlling from the enemies I was fighting, especially since everyone looks weird and robotic.

I could talk about the characters, but really, they’re just an excuse to hit the button to attack the other characters who are attacking you.‚  There is a bit of a plot in place, the type that would be enjoyable if you were still a kid and watching Saturday morning cartoons.‚  Basically, your female robot ninja, machine gunner and robot must fight through these creatures because, uh… Well, they’re trying to kill you.‚  Oh, and at some point, some evil organization double-crossed you, so of course you have to get revenge against them.‚  The female ninja is kind of hot, so you’ll probably want to fight with her most of the time.

Anyway “" Smushing stuff talk.‚  The enemies come after you, wave after wave, with a typical stage having in upwards of 50.‚  You and a buddy, or you and a computer-controlled buddy, have to attack them, while you also bust open crates and boxes for health and power boosters scattered inexplicably throughout the stage.‚  The primary goal is to string together attacks to create combos “" The more hits, the better the combo rating, and the more points you get at the end of the stage to upgrade your characters.

Like every game of this type released since God of War, and similar to Madworld, you can fill up a power gauge to perform super combo attacks with your buddy or the computer-controlled character.‚  These are kind of neat to watch, except that using them almost always kills the enemy you’re currently attacking.‚  For point-harvesting purposes, it’s normally better to just beat them up yourself as opposed to relying on the combos.‚  They are somewhat neat looking though, and their application “" slashing the Wiimote, or pounding down with it and the nunchuk “" are one of the few productive uses of motion controls in Spyborgs.

That doesn’t mean that the combo attacks are the only motion controls used, just that they’re the only production controls.‚  I would have scored this game a half-point higher if it weren’t for the frustrating method used to discover “hidden” items.

Basically, by pointing the Wiimote at the screen, a little blue circle floats around.‚  Certain parts of the background look transparent, and pointing the circle at them will reveal hidden crates, kind of.‚  You actually have to point the Wiimote at it, then press A, and then yank up with the Wiimote, in order to reveal whatever you’ve found.

This sounds kind of neat, but its actual application is a nightmare.‚  There is a “ping” noise each time your Wiimote comes across a hidden crate, which would be fine if it was an occasional thing.‚  It’s not, as there are dozens of crates hidden in every god damn stage, all of which must be “uncovered” to be broken open.‚  Even worse, in later stages enemies are cloaked, so you have to manage this feat while they jump around like idiots, shooting green laser blasts at you.‚  By the way, the “hidden” crates are also placed right next to existing crates in the majority of stages, meaning you would have to be an idiot not to find them.

Blast Factor: I constantly felt like I was about 10 years old while I was playing Spyborgs, so I guess that the hidden crates next to existing crates was the right move.‚  If you have a small kid, they might enjoy this game.‚  But if you’re no longer stuck in a Saturday morning cartoon mindset, you’re better off playing the ultra-violent Madworld, a classic like Final Fight or checking out some of the more “epic” mash games like Lord of the Rings and Dynasty Warriors.‚  There really isn’t anything new in terms of gameplay to recommend here, and the cloaked items and enemies detract from an otherwise average experience.

Spyborgs is available exclusively on the Wii, and retails for $39.99. A copy of this game was given to us by the publisher for review purposes.

Like Harcos Mana Potions? You can now buy them in-game for your characters in Lunia, an online game where things like energy drinks are a must. What’s the best part though? Buying Mana Potions in the real world means you get free ones in the virtual world, and vice versa. We talked to Harcos about this neat promotion, which, if you’re into energy drinks and Lunia, is definitely worth checking out.

BLAST:‚  Tell us a bit about your promotion.

Aaron Rasmussen: If you buy a real-world Mana Potion with a code on it, you can go to Lunia on ijji.com and redeem it for a virtual Mana item. If you buy a big pack of virtual Mana in Lunia, we’ll actually ship out real-world Mana to you. We may have torn the very fabric of reality, and we think that’s awesome.

We’re fairly positive this is the first time anybody’s done something like this.

BLAST: Does your Mana Potion promotion rival the pure stealth and deadliness of Solid Snake? Can I make a better convoluted and cheesy gaming reference?

AR: Nothing rivals the stealth and deadliness of Solid Snake. Nothing! It’s heresy to even ask that question.

Calvin Yang: The promotion is nothing like the pure stealth or deadliness of Solid Snake. Besides, Solid Snake is too grumpy and self-centered for the comparison, not to mention he smokes too much. Lunia is a much friendlier and livelier environment. I suggest a comparison to Mario instead “" kid-friendly, yet surprisingly deep and involved. When boosted with power-ups, Mario is invincible. With our collaboration with Harcos, we give power to the gamers both in-game and in real life.

BLAST: On a scale of 1 to 10, do Harcos potions rank a Spinal Tap-ian 11?

CY: Have you ever tried Harcos potions? They’re off the charts!

AR: This promotion ranks a sqrt(2) * e^2. Close, very close.

BLAST: Are they better than the Ragnarok of Final Fantasy 6?

AR: As a sword or as an esper? This promotion is more akin to the esper version of Ragnorak. I would say yes, it is better, because drinking it doesn’t convert you to an item.

CY: Oh”¦ I like this old school reference you’re throwing out here. Our promotion is nowhere near as difficult to get as the Ragnarok though and you don’t need a secret key to unlock it, luckily. You can pick up the promotional potions at your local retail stores or buy the 100 pack in-game with a mere 200 Gcoins.

[Editor's Note: Go with the esper. It's useful in the Tower of Fanatics, after all.]

BLAST: Although “Mana Energy Potion” denotes a sort of role-playing game experience, does the drink still work if you’re playing a first-person shooter?

CY: I guess it all depends on the setting. I’d imagine that in a traditional first-person shooter, drinking a Mana Potion could cause serious advantages and imbalance in the game. The gamer would have super accurate aim and inhuman response times. The in-game character would recover 100% of his energy instantly, causing other players to suspect cheating. In Lunia though, use of Harcos Mana Potion is all fair game!

AR: Yes! I’m a huge CounterStrike and FPS fan, and while you might expect the energy effect from the potion to be totally neutralized by the inability to level, it works just as well!

BLAST: Regarding the other tie-in to this promotion, why should gamers be interested in Lunia? ‚ Is it the peanut butter to the Mana Energy Potion’s jelly, or is Lunia more like the jelly?

CY: I would say Lunia is more like the bread. Lunia is the foundation that enables gamers to enjoy the boost of energy with this promotion.

AR: Lunia is a refreshing departure from what you’d usually expect in an MMO. It’s an action role-playing game, so it combines fun arcade button mashing with RPG leveling. And we’re definitely the jelly in this one, “Ëœcause we’re blue.

BLAST: Will drinking Mana Energy Potion give me special powers? Also, if you had the choice between shooting a fireball out of your hands, Ryu and Ken-style from Street Fighter 2, or telekinesis, like Jean Grey, which would you choose and why?

AR: After much discussion around the office, we have decided on Jean Grey’s telekinesis powers. You could always light something on fire and use your telekinesis to throw it. Last time we lit a bowling ball on fire, we had to build the giant RoboPult to throw it. It would be much easier if we could just use our minds. It’s not quite as cool as a Hadoken, but you could spend a lot of time just messing with people if you had telekinesis. You can only light so many people on fire before it becomes a problem and you have to stop.

CY: If you have the time, I definitely recommend you to schedule an appointment and visit ijji’s or Harcos’ offices. We have people flying around shooting laser beams all the time. We each have our own special powers. In fact, I’m not using my keyboard to type these answers right now. I think it, and the words just appear.

BLAST:‚  What are some of the favorite games of the Mana Energy Potion and Lunia staff? How about some favorite old school systems?

AR: At Mana Energy Potion, we have an original Donkey Kong arcade machine from the early 80′s. Eli’s scored 146,000 and I’ve hit 118,000; both are past the 3^rd elevators. As for other games, we all love the Final Fantasy series, anything with Star Wars on it, Vampire: The Masquerade “" Bloodlines, CounterStrike, and of course Left 4 Dead.

Here are some oldies but goodies that we all voted on (we had this discussion recently).

1. Tetris – Multiple Consoles (as “Addictus” on my old ColecoVision)

2. Super Mario Land “" Game Boy

3. EarthBound “" NES

4. Rescue Raiders “" Apple 2

5. Altered Beast “" Sega MegaDrive/Genesis

6. Chrono Trigger “" SNES

7. Contra “" NES

CY: My all time favorite game has to be the Quest for Glory series by Sierra. I must have played through each one of those games at least four or five times. As a little kid, the wonders of trying different word combinations to open a box or start a fire”¦ and when it actually worked, it was like magic. A close second would be Taiko no Tatsujin, the Drum Master series. This was the rhythm game that took away years of my life.

BLAST: Where can gamers purchase Mana Energy Potion and your other energy drink, Health Energy Potion?

AY: We keep an up-to-date list of all our outlets at Manapotions.com. There’s also a store locator so you can see who carries it around you.

BLAST: If gamers are interested in Lunia, where can they sign up and play?

CY: Easy! Just visit http://lunia.ijji.com

BLAST: ‚ Thank you guys for taking the time to answer my somewhat snarky questions!

HARCOS: ‚ Thanks for taking the time to ask them and putting up with our answers!

A game like Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is maddening to review. To get “inside reviewing” a bit here, I got my copy of the game last Monday, and I’ve been picking at it since then. I wrote about three different drafts, consulted other professional reviews and just generally agonized about how to tackle it.

The thing is, I’m not a Harry Potter fan. I haven’t read any of the books or seen any of the movies, which is hard to do, I’ve been told. Should this matter? I’ve never seen Goldeneye either, but it’s still my favorite Nintendo 64 game, and I never even liked football before falling in love with the game based on my experience with Tecmo Super Bowl as a seven-year-old in 1991.

Most of the other reviews I’ve read give the game an extra few points for appealing to fans of the book and movie series, except that I’m not entirely sure if this is true. My friend Danielle is one of those nuts who dresses up for premieres, and when her and I played this, she was bored by the end of the hour.

She’s only a casual gamer, but again, should this matter? Harry Potter seems like something that should be ideally suited for a casual gamer “" wander around Hogwarts and cast spells by shaking the Wii-mote like a wand! Fly around on a broom from time-to-time! Mix liquids in a cauldron to create spells and magic! Duel with other wizards and friends in a two-player mode!

Don’t get me wrong, these things don’t totally suck. I mean, they’re not great or anything. But the experience doesn’t suck. That is kind of a good way to describe the entire experience of The Half-Blood Prince, although “doesn’t suck!” makes for a rather poor ad campaign.

I’ve been told that the book series does take a rather dark turn around this installment, so the tone of the game fits the book and movie well. Hogwarts is dark, moody, and gothic, with a constant gloom hanging over your every movement. Urgency, not so much “" characters don’t shut up, and you can’t skip dialogue. Sigh.

If I seem a bit dispirited and somber myself, I blame the dreary tone of the game and an existential crisis on my part. The one question that was constantly on my mind while playing The Half-Blood Prince was, “Why bother making this crap?”

Now, the game isn’t crap; it is solidly average. The 21 reviews cataloged on GameStats are between 4.0 and 8.0. Take out the two highest scores and the lowest, and the remaining 18 professional reviews all fall between 4.9 and 7.2. The average critic score is 6.0. Since my score is a 5.0, I am united in the cartel labeling Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as average. It is a bit dull, but no major deficiencies or outstanding moments, which are the biggest problems.

As a member of the Harry Potter universe, the Wii version of The Half-Blood Prince reminds me of a paint-by-numbers coloring book. It follows the source material so faithfully that it makes no attempts to really excel past it. Hey, this is a video game, so you know what would be cool? If I could chose to join up with Voldemort or Severus Snape or deviate from the plot of the book and movie. Of course, you can’t do any of this, so the whole experience feels like an on-the-rails, no-risk ride. At least if everything about the game sucked, it would be interesting material for the Angry Video Game Nerd or Internet trolls, but there is a base level of competence throughout. So really, what’s the point?

If you are a die-hard fan of everything Harry Potter, then you’d probably rather see the movie multiple times than play a watered-down version of wizard dueling and potion-making, even if they do use Wii controls. If you’re not a fan of Harry Potter, then you probably have zero interest in playing this when there are so many better games out there competing for your time. Young kids might be able to handle this, but the dark tone and acres of text and dialogue don’t make it as engaging as it could be. And heck, if you have young kids, make them read the freakin’ books instead.

Blast Factor: I can’t really justify anyone spending $50 on Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Just go see the movie four times, and save a 10-spot to buy the DVD when it comes out. Or, just rent it, or wait until it inevitably gets shipped to the $20 and less bargain bin. I can’t really fathom anybody who would be completely satisfied with this game, or who would completely hate this game. This is a satisfactory but ultimately unimaginative product that exists solely to cash-in on the Harry Potter trademark a bit more.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is available for the Nintendo Wii at a suggested retail price of $49.99

As long as they kept the same tone, I feel like I could play new installments of Shin Megami Tensei for years without tiring.‚  Excluding the most recent console edition, Persona 4, almost all of them take place during desperate situations or in a bleak dystopia.‚  With the Final Fantasy series being escapist in tone “" you ride on birds, listen to long-haired freaks talk about world domination and explore forgotten lands “" the SMT games are oppressively depressing, as if all of them were programmed by George Orwell.

The latest installment, SMT: Devil Survivor, is not an exception, and despite all this negativity, I always look forward to the experience.‚  Frankly, there aren’t enough role-playing games that feature realistic scenarios and characters, as opposed to some tart with a sword.‚  Depressing at times?‚  Absolutely, but it also feels that much sweeter when you do reach that conclusion.‚  You need sour to make the sweet taste so great when you finally do get it.

Devil Survivor takes place in present day Tokyo, which has been sealed from the outside world by a civilian defense force after a demon outbreak and a power outage occur.‚  As the self-named, 17-year-old lead character, you and your allies use COMPs (portrayed tongue-in-cheek by the game as DSes) to summon your own demons to beat enemy demons.‚  The COMPs also receive mysterious e-mail reports that seem to predict future catastrophes, unless you can stop them beforehand.‚  Along the way, you have to make painful decisions that cause people to live or die.

The best way to describe the gameplay of Devil Survivor is as conventional, turn-based RPG with tactical elements.‚  Your human characters serve as leaders of a trio, the other two members of which are demons purchased from an auction house or created via fusing other demons.‚  You can control as many as four squads on a map, for a total of 12 active characters, although you can swap out demons in the middle of a map.

While you form squads and approach enemies on a map, hence the tactics, the battles take place in turn-based fashion.‚  You and your demons attack enemies in rounds of combat based on speed, hitting weaknesses and avoiding strengths.‚  Hitting enemy weak points “" such as using zio (lightning) on mechanical enemies “" sometimes rewards you “bonus” rounds of combat.‚  And, in a welcome improvement from the past Persona and Digital Devil Saga games, the top screen of the DS is used wonderfully to display all the strengths and weaknesses of enemies, meaning you don’t have to memorize them for 100+ demons.

In fact, everything in Devil Survivor is streamlined, simplified and enhanced from previous SMT installments, if that makes sense.‚  For example, the Persona games featured inherited skills by fusing together monsters, but you’d often have to annoyingly try the same combination multiple times to get that Angel-character with fire skills.‚  In Devil Survivor, you can simply choose what skills to retain when fusing.‚  This alone prevents a lot of tedium of past games.‚  Other nice features include an easy-to-use fusion database, and a profile database to keep track of character background and developments.

If I have to find something to quibble about, it would be that the demons are still a bit too disposable.‚  In the Persona games, you have to rely on fusion to power-up characters, as gaining levels only provides incremental stat gains.‚  As a result, it isn’t uncommon to use fuse your way past several demons without even trying them out.‚  There is little room for sentimentality; each new day of the story essentially requires you to cycle your old demons out for new, more powerful ones.‚  However, even this makes sense from a story perspective, since the situation is so bleak you shouldn’t expect to bond with your demons…

BLAST FACTOR: Devil Survivor is yet another near-mandatory RPG for the DS.‚  While the story’s tone and characters aren’t for everybody, if you liked any of the previous SMT games, then this really is mandatory.

A game that is, thankfully, very aware that it is a game at times.

In honor of the Fourth of July, I’d like to spotlight one of the few efforts of Square’s American branch in the late 1990s.‚  Actually, to be honest, it is the only effort that ever hit store shelves “" Secret of Evermore, the quirky follow-up to Secret of Mana that has nothing in common except a similar combat system and the word “secret.”‚  The best way for me to describe Secret of Evermore is with a mathematical equation:

Secret of Mana + Earthbound = Secret of Evermore + WIN!

Thank you, thank you.‚  No, I do not have a math degree, but thank you for assuming.‚  Evermore combines the weird, B-humor of Earthbound with

This guy helps you cross a desert, but he's a better tour guide than Charon.

the primary elements of Mana: equipment and spell rings, charging weapons, art style.

Evermore is the clearly inferior product in terms of the actual game, since it is much easier in certain areas and generally less solidly constructed.‚  For example, instead of acquiring new spells every couple of hours, like in Mana, in Evermore you have to be told spells by certain characters, some of which are hidden or who you never really encounter in a casual playthrough.‚  I remember gazing at an issue of Nintendo Power and being shocked by its listing of about 25 spells, since I was in the last area of the game and had about a dozen.

Spells still level up like in Mana, but annoyingly, you have to purchase ingredients to use them as opposed to having MP.‚  If you have a ton of money, this makes it a little easier to power level your spells, but it means you have to fight a lot more as opposed to using the free recovery spots in Mana.‚  The game also gives little indication of what spells are better.‚  For example, you acquire Sting after Flash, but Flash is better for the most part.

Despite these flaws, I still love playing Evermore for a couple reasons.‚  First, the American influence definitely shines through in the story’s plot and characters.‚  You play a spunky, sort-of-hero archetype; imagine a PG version of Bruce Campbell.‚  He is a bit self-aware of his situation, comparing himself constantly to characters in fictional B-movies and noticing some of the absurdity of the main plot, which has you venturing through four different areas of Evermore “" prehistoric, Egypt-kinda, Medieval Times and the science fiction future “" in order to find a way back to Podunk.

Second, you get to use a bazooka.‚  Yes, a bazooka in a RPG.‚  And it is just as powerful as you would imagine, and if you use it on something mechanical, that mechanical enemy will often blow up in a nice little poof.‚  There is something fundamentally satisfying about this.

And finally, I enjoy Evermore because it is so wildly divergent from every other RPG out there, even to this day.‚  Earthbound was the first game released in America to be REALLY out there, as you used baseball bats to attack enemies and ate hamburgers to restore health.‚  Evermore followed in its path, but outside of those two SNES titles, I’m hard pressed to name other RPGs that have a clear American influence.

Most games are set in that odd “ye olde times” era, with characters using swords and guns side-by-side.‚  The good Shadow Hearts games “" the first two “" have a bit of an American feel, but they’re set in Europe roughly around the World Wars.‚  The third game was in America, but it stunk.‚  The Persona games have a modern setting, but they clearly take place in Japan, with references to weird sushi crap I’ve never heard of and nobody with an Americanized name.‚  (Tangent: Do Japanese and Chinese girls get tattoos with American lettering?‚  I’d like to think they do.)

Because of these factors, Evermore will always have a place in my heart, even if it isn’t the greatest of all-time.‚  If you’re looking for something besides the typical “Save the princess with swords!” experience, then hunt down a copy of Evermore.

Thanks to NFOpocalpyse, who’s review and photo gallery helped me with the images.

The other day, I was talking on AIM to a dashing man who may or may not determine the writing assignments here for Blast, and my calling him “dashing” is in no way an attempt to curry favor.‚  Anyway, the subject of RPGs came up, and since it is my favorite genre, I had plenty to say.‚  The query posed was a seemingly simple one: What were my 10 favorite RPGs, any system, from any time?

I actually found it pretty hard to limit myself, and eventually spit out about 15 different ones. ‚ The subject is so complex and the games so great (in my mind) that I could probably do a post on each game on my list.‚  I mean, just yesterday Marc did an entire post on Final Fantasy VII, which definitely makes my list of best RPGs and probably my Top Five of all-time.

Therefore, in an attempt to edit myself prematurely, I’m going to focus on the inverse today “" The five WORST role-playing games I’ve played.‚  (Note that I did qualify the preceding statement with “I’ve played” so fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint, most of the SaGa and Tales games are safe.)‚  I did not include old NES games that were meant primarily as action-adventure games with some role-playing elements (so you’re safe, Deadly Towers and Hydlide) or games that weren’t “officially” released in the United States (Final Fantasy 2j or Earthbound Zero, although that’s a decent game anyway).‚  The list, in no particular order:

I just loved when Frodo killed wolves in the book.

- The Lord of the Rings: Volume 1, SNES.‚  Much like Peter Jackson’s trilogy stands as the definitive work that the bad, 1980s animated films pale against, so goes the SNES version vs. the modern games.‚  The action-adventure-RPG fails in every aspect.

Released by Interplay in 1994, The Lord of the Rings’ programmers somehow decided that Tolkien’s original work, which is admittedly dry in some spots, would be better if it was simplified.‚  Unfortunately, their judgment was pretty piss-poor in terms of what they chose to remove.‚  For example, gone is Bilbo’s somewhat terrifying reluctance to part with the ring at the start of the tale, and in its place is a simple sentence about how “it’s hard to give up.”‚  Sigh.

Stealing a page from the book of the Angry Video Game Nerd (NSFW), remember how awesome it was when Frodo fought a shitload of wolves in the Shire?‚  Oh, you don’t remember how awesome it is because that never happened?‚  Yeah, me either.‚  But like the video game version of Back to the Future, which has you dodging bees and garbage cans and plate glass windows, Lord of the Rings SNES has little to do with its literary or film counterparts.‚  As the full name implies, it covers the first third of the trilogy, but because of dismal sales, I imagine the other installments were never made.

I could overlook this aspect, except that the rest of the game is a steaming pile as well.‚  You only control Frodo, but all of the other characters of the fellowship join you.‚  How can that be?‚  Well, while you walk around, they’re given free reign.‚  Unlike, say, Secret of Mana, there is nothing stopping Gimli and Legolas from wandering off-screen and getting killed by a goblin or troll.‚  And this will happen constantly, because the AI is ridiculous.‚  You can hold the L-button to “control” your other characters, but this prevents Frodo from walking, and it controls all of them at once.‚  This is an issue when you have as many as eight or nine people in your party.

By the way, death is permanent in The Lord of the Rings.‚  In the words of Ivan Drago, if Pippin dies, then he dies.‚  There is no way to revive him.‚  Combine this with the idiotic AI, and it’s impossible to make it through the entire game with all of the fellowship intact without some serious luck.

There are plenty of other “fail” aspects to The Lord of the Rings.‚  Even though it is a SNES game and thus a cartridge, there are long pauses when switching areas and accessing the menu.‚  You can’t chose who equips what; if you acquire a new piece of equipment, the most “important” character (in the order of Aragorn, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, Sam, Pippin and Merry, roughly) inherits it.‚  All of the character sprites are tiny, and it would be impossible to tell the hobbits apart, except that they wear different colors.‚  You do a bunch of crap “" exploring caves near the Shire and Bree for stones to open up the way in the Mines of Moria “" that isn’t in the book or the movies.‚  Even if you let everyone else die, Frodo and/or Aragorn can easily power their way through the computer’s also stupid AI.‚  The last battle is against the Balrog, but you can kill it if Gandalf dies.

There are two reasons to play The Lord of the Rings.‚  One, the sound is pretty good.‚  And two, Tom Bombadil is still the man.‚  He is the only character who doesn’t lose a god damn thing from book to game.‚  He still is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow; none have ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master, and his songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

- Beyond the Beyond, PSX.‚  According to Wikipedia, this game now has attained a sort of cult following, although I don’t know why.‚  It bears the distinction of being the first RPG released for the PSX, but this doesn’t excuse its inferior quality.‚  The game is actually OK in the graphics and sound department, as it looks like it belongs in Sega’s Shining series.

Unfortunately, this is where the similarities end.‚  The gameplay is plodding, with the double whammy of a high encounter rate and long, meandering dungeons.‚  Enemy magicians are especially overpowering, as group-effecting spells can wipe you out in a single round.‚  Your own magicians aren’t as lucky, because there isn’t a ton of MP to go around, and you often have to save it up for healing and fighting boss characters.‚  Nothing comes easy, and all of these gameplay and battle system issues have nothing to do with its debut status.

Also, as I mentioned in my review of Black Sigil last week (yay for self-pimping!), one of Beyond the Beyond’s major characters is cursed for a good portion of the game.‚  It is as if you have a confused character in your party the entire time. There is a one-in-three chance that he attacks, freezes up or takes damage each time he does something.‚  The whole “cursed” thing is the insult-to-injury, pointy stick rammed into the eye socket aspect of Beyond the Beyond that pushes it from below average to cringeworthy.

This skull randomly tells you things in The Black Gate. It is cheesier than you imagine.

- The SNES Ultima games.‚  Yeah, I’m just doing a group entry for them, but if I have to mention one, let’s go with The Black Gate, the seventh installment.‚  It features a top-down, three-fourths perspective that makes me somewhat sick to my stomach while playing.‚  The font used by the game doesn’t help matters either, as its slightly-cursive tint, small size and prodigious length makes it hard to read.‚  The other SNES Ultimas at least have a legible font, although they all seem to use the horrible perspective.

The Black Gate is the usual non-linear sort of game primarily featured in the Ultima series, but the dizzying perspective and better alternatives on the SNES “" like a decent port of Might and Magic III “" allow it to earn its place on this list.‚  Besides, being non-linear isn’t the problem, as Quest for the Avatar is an underrated gem for the NES, and very first, plain old Ultima is serviceable.

- Legend of Mana, PSX.‚  Here is the secret to beating Legend of Mana: Have a pulse.‚  If your lungs work, then you should be able to stream roll your way through the game.‚  Even if you are a corpse, or some sort of ethereal being that only has limited possession skills, you should still be able to handle it.

Basically, the only requirement to beating Legend of Mana is having a working thumb with which to press the attack button.‚  (In fact, by reading the preceding paragraph the game might have rewarded you with an extra level or two.)‚  It bears little in common with the great Secret of Mana, and nothing in common with the quirky, comical and underrated Secret of Evermore.

"And then I had to go allllll the way uphill to the market..."

- Lagoon, SNES.‚  If you’re wondering why there are so many SNES games between this list and the section below, it’s because the success of some legitimately great games “" Final Fantasy 2 and 3, Chrono Trigger, Soul Blazer, Illusion of Gaia, Dragon Quest 5 and 6 in Japan “" caused some developers to just dump mediocre games on the market.

The people behind 1991′s Lagoon probably noted (or bet on) the success A Link to the Past to propel their paltry title to some increased sales.‚  Lagoon is an adventure-RPG; Zelda with hit points and equipment, or a more RPG-ish version of the PSX and DS Castlevania games.‚  Like Beyond the Beyond, it was one of the first titles for console, but this doesn’t excuse its sins; Final Fantasy 2 came out in the same year and that’s still great.

No, Lagoon would still suck if it came out in 1791, although the villagers of Salem would get some sick enjoyment out of screaming “Witch!” at its strange, rectangular form before burning it atop a stack of actual witches.‚  Your character can only move in the four compass directions, which is a problem when you’re trying to dodge fireballs and other attacks from the game’s later bosses.

In addition to the lethargic movement, combat is hurt by the minuscule attack range of your character.‚  A swing from your sword has enough range to disturb some flies in your general area, and not much else.‚  The hit detection is generally poor, and makes Lagoon frustratingly hard.

As suggested by my picture selection, the dialogue is nothing to write home about either.‚  Most villagers will prattle on about any old thing.‚  And yes, your character is called Nasir.‚  Hot, I know.‚  The only names of major characters I like less in the various RPGs I’ve played are Ashley from Vagrant Story and Poo from Earthbound.‚  (Maybe that list can be next.‚  A man can dream…)

- Also at least considered, seriously or fleetingly, for this list: 7th Saga, Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled, Brain Lord (since Enix somehow got that stateside instead of Dragon Warrior 5 or 6), Brandish, Breath of Fire 2 (the SNES version with the high encounter rate, minimal experience gains and low gold drops), Chrono Cross, Drakkhen, Final Fantasy (yes, seriously), Final Fantasy Legend 1 and 2, Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, Final Fantasy X-2, Grandia Xtreme, Harvest Moon, The Legend of Dragoon, Lufia and the Fortress of Doom, Lufia: The Ruins of Lore, Magna Carta, Ogre Battle, Paladin’s Quest, Pinball Quest, Romancing SaGa 3, Shadow Hearts 3: From the New World, Spell Craft, the numerous bad Star Trek games, Suikoden IV, Uncharted Waters, Vagrant Story and Valkyrie Profile.

With its latest entry in the Guitar Hero series, Modern Hits for the DS, Vicarious Visions is proving it is interested in more than just churning out bastardized versions of its top sellers to make a buck. A special guitar controller accessory and good song selection help to minimize repetition and song quality issues in an otherwise great game. Let’s start with the controller, since the idea of Guitar Hero on the DS might be confusing to some despite the previous installments. A four-button attachment plugs into the GBA slot of your DS, and you strum across the touch screen with a (provided) guitar pick. (Unfortunately, if you did splurge on a DSi, you are out of luck for now.) You hold the console vertically as you play (i.e. clockwise from the normal DS layout), which is helped by the guitar accessory, which acts as a handle of sorts. Like the console versions, you hold down the respective colored button as you strum (slash) across the touch screen with the pick. Whammies / extends are played by holding and rubbing the pick on the touch screen.

Although the complexity is somewhat diminished “" the console controller features five buttons vs. four on the DS “" the difficulty is retained because the note pace is increased. I hover between 95 and 99 percent on normal on the console versions of Rock Band and Guitar Hero, and I had a similar mark on Modern Hits. The most diabolical songs will require you to quickly scratch out 10 notes, followed by a normal rhythm for a couple notes, followed by some quick-switching chords, and then back to a flurry of notes. To sound like Led Zeppelin, the scoring system remains the same in Modern Hits. You get a base score for hitting each note, and playing strings of notes without error multiples your score. Certain notes contain energy power for your guitar, and if you collect enough, you can unleash it and double your multiplier for a span of time. In a clever usage of the DS’s microphone, yelling at it starts the power-up, which is far easier than the console versions’ requirement of hitting a button or holding your guitar at a 90-degree angle while still trying to play notes. The higher your score, the more stars you receive for completing a stage.

The limitations of a handheld version of Guitar Hero are smoothed over pretty craftily by the programmers at Vicarious Visions and the content selection. While the graphics and animation are severely downgraded “" there isn’t much real estate on the DS screen anyway “" the sound quality is shockingly good. I thought it was slightly above the standard set by most cell phones. The content is also smartly confined to modern music, so the scratchiness to some of the songs actually helps. “Reptilia” and The Strokes in general just sound better with a bit of roughness. The same goes with most of the game’s roster: The Fratellis, Wolfmother, Weezer, Coldplay, The Kaiser Chiefs, Sum 41, Lenny Kravitz, Modest Mouse. That’s a solid range within the “modern rock” sphere, from strictly indy to pop rock and pop punk. I didn’t notice a distracting lack of sound quality at any point, and because all modern music is used, every song is the original master as opposed to a cover band version.

The only issue I had with Modern Hits was one of repetition. To unlock new songs, you typically have to beat the two or three songs at a venue, and then complete one, two or three “fan requests” at a venue. Fan requests are similar to the random challenges in the Rock Band games. For example, you might have to finish the bass part of a Strokes’ song above a certain percentage, or win a guitar duel. While this in itself isn’t bad, being forced to replay songs you’ve already beaten is somewhat annoying. I preferred the progression systems in World Tour (earn cash to unlock new venues) and Smash Hits (earn a certain amount of stars between all the game’s songs) to the one in Modern Hits, which forces a lot of backtracking. Still, this is a relatively minor quibble in the scheme of things.

Blast Factor: If the idea of playing Guitar Hero on your DS sounds great to you, then Modern Hits will be great to you. While it doesn’t really offer anything new from the console versions, Modern Hits doesn’t lose much in the transition thanks to some great song choices and its well-designed controlled adapter.

Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits is available exclusively for the Nintendo DS, and is has a suggested price of $39.99

Studies show that an attractive woman increases traffic by 12,783%, even if she is only tangentially related to the original content.

Because Guitar Hero: Smash Hits is just a re-release of previous tracks, I didn’t really feel it deserved its own review.‚  If you are interested in purchasing it, check the track list beforehand – Some songs are re-used from the Aerosmith, World Tour and GH3, so there might not be enough new content to make it worth your while.

That being said, I enjoyed it, since I am a relatively new convert to the whole Guitar Hero scene.‚ ‚ ‚  I still can’t use all five buttons, so I’m not good enough to be mocked on South Park, but there is something oddly hypnotic and fun about the whole concept.

Playing did make me create my own “wish list” of songs and features for future installments, though.‚  As a note, I tried not to include any songs that have been confirmed for future games, or use artists – Van Halen, The Beatles – who have their own games in production.‚  If I did mess up somewhere, feel free to e-mail me or to point it out in the comments.‚  In no particular order:

- “Your Love” by Outfield.‚  Along the lines of “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey, this is a strong karoake number that would translate well to Guitar Hero or Rock Band.‚  As an added bonus, it is from 1986, giving it retro points.‚  Covers are not acceptable, unless a bosom-y avatar for Katy Perry’s version, “Use Your Love,” is used.

- Anything by Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin, but especially “Wish You Were Here” or “Comfortably Numb” or “Kashmir“.‚  Although there is hope that Pink Floyd will eventually get their own game, it hasn’t happened yet, and the talks are at such preliminary stages that I feel find settling for a song or two.‚  I nominated “Wish You Were Here” even though it is such a sparse song because of its haunting vocals, and the guitar solo in “Comfortably Numb” is a natural for Guitar Hero or Rock Band treatment.‚  According to the scuttlebutt on Wikipedia, concerns about the quality of the original masters and royalty payments to the bands have caused the hold-up for both.

- More noteworthy live tracks.‚  Pretty much anything from Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan would apply here; “Surrender” was in Guitar Hero 2, but it is scandalous that “I Want You To Want Me” also hasn’t gotten the digital treatment yet.‚  Similar to Cheap Trick, anything from Nirvana’s Unplugged album would be great, although a bit somber for a GH/RB game.‚  An “acoustic” game in general might be a good idea.

- More difficulty sliders.‚  In sports games like Madden and NBA Live, you can specify whether certain penalties and fouls will be called, or dumb down certain aspects of the computer AI.‚  Likewise, I’d like if I could play these rhythm games at the higher difficulties, but limit the songs to four fingers.‚  For example, there is a big jump in difficult in Rock Band 2 from the normal to hard difficulty.‚  Why not give the option of normal with more notes to hit, as opposed to jumping straight to the five-fingered hard?

So, you’ve heard my half-baked ideas.‚  What are some of yours?

- Steve

Why aren’t there more clones of Chrono Trigger?‚  If any game seems like it deserves a slew of clones, it would be one of the Top 10 role-playing games of all time, one that is so synonymous with quality that its Nintendo DS remake tops most of the user-rated lists around the Internet.

Unfortunately, the answer was constantly running through my head as I was playing Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled for the aforementioned DS.‚  Chrono Trigger set the bar so high that no other game really tried to emulate it. ‚ Even Chrono Cross, the PSX “sequel” of sorts, scrapped the combat system and takes place in an alternate, fractured timeline.

A mediocre, original game is sometimes worth playing.‚  For example, I hated all the grunt work of the Super Nintendo’s Harvest Moon, and the Aerobiz series is painfully dense at times, but both concepts are original enough to be worth sticking with.‚  Black Sigil’s issue is that it feels like a warmed-over, plodding clone of a classic.‚  My constant thought while suffering through yet another boring battle was, “Why don’t I just play Chrono Trigger instead?”

The similarity to Chrono Trigger stems from the top-down perspective, three-person party and general atmosphere of both.‚  In some aspects, Black Sigil holds it own.‚  The dialogue is snappy, and while the plot of being thrust into a strange new world with feuding empires has been done a million times before, the spunky and sarcastic characters make it fun anyway.

The stoic, man of few words, Kairu, is the lead character, and since he doesn’t talk, it’s yet another comparison to Chrono Trigger.‚  But Aurora, Kairu’s sister, is the real star in most of the early scenes.‚  Her spunky and snarky replies to other characters’ comments, mostly about her sex appeal, differentiate her from a typical video game damsel.

However, the two titles skew wildly when it comes to battle system.‚  Black Sigil’s combat has two jarring features “" absolutely no transitioning and a high encounter rate.

By no transitioning, I don’t mean visible enemies like in Chrono Trigger.‚  I mean that you will be walking, and suddenly the game almost seems like it “freezes” and then you move to a combat screen.‚  There is no sound effect or music to signify that you’ve switched to combat, and if you’re near an exit, you don’t know if you’ve successfully made it to the next screen or entered yet another battle.

And the battles, good lord, there are a lot of them.‚  I may have fought more in my initial 10 hours of Black Sigil than through entire games.‚  It doesn’t help that some weapons have limited range, and there is no automatic “move” command.‚  For example, if an enemy is behind a rock outcrop, you either have to wait for Kairu’s turn (his movement is seemingly unlimited) or wait for the enemy to attack you, and thus move into your range.‚  You can also manually move character by using the L-trigger key, but this isn’t explained in the game, and it seems like something that all characters should do automatically if they chose to attack, not just Kairu.‚  As a result, a single battle can drag out for an extra 15 to 60 seconds because your characters apparently lack the intelligence to properly position themselves.

Also from the “stupid idea” department, your main character is randomly afflicted with status ailments.‚  A storyline reason is later given for this, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying.‚  Beyond the Beyond, the very first PSX RPG from 1995, tried a similar thing with one of its main characters, and 14 years later it is still mind-numbingly frustrating.

Black Sigil doesn’t help itself with some muddy visuals and a general lack of refinement.‚  Exits, climbing areas and ladders can be hard to spot on various screens, meaning you have to “trace” your way around the borders of an area to find the proper way out.‚  The menu screens are generally OK, except that I sometimes forgot whether I had to pick the microscopic book or the microscopic armored guy to equip and use my skills.

The high encounter rate, movement issues and just poor planning really do detract from what is an otherwise solid game.‚  I understand the desire to create a more “traditional” RPG that relies on a bit of grinding, a la Dragon Warrior or the original Final Fantasy, but the extra time spent it takes to beat Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled feels artificial and based on poor programming. Unless you are desperate for a new game, you’ll get more enjoyment from hunting down the originals and remakes from those franchises.‚  Or, just play Chrono Trigger again.

Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled is available on the Nintendo DS for $29.99

Swords & Soldiers is almost too good to be a WiiWare game, showing a great level of charm and a fun factor it shares with the best of its counterparts, Tetris Party and Bomberman Blast, which are primarily based on “real” console predecessors.‚  Although there is a lack of information that can lead to frustration at times, for $10 some amazing value is provided.

Around the web, I’ve seen Swords & Soldiers described as a side-scrolling real-time strategy game, but I’d argue that the better term would be as a tower offense game.‚  True, you harvest gold, farm mana and pay for upgrades, but the majority of the game involves buying units that march from left to right, defeating anything in their way or being defeated themselves.‚  Like a tower defense game, you do not control your units, but rather try to build up waves that will eventually overrun your opponent.‚  Unlike a tower defense, your side is almost always the one on the offensive, sending waves to conquer your opponent’s base.

In terms of personality and just general gameplay, Swords & Soldiers reminds me of a more offense-orientated Ninjatown, an enchanting tower defense game for the DS.‚  You control one of three factions: the Vikings, the Aztecs and the Chinese.‚  All are caricatures, as the Vikings are obsessed with having the best BBQ ever, the Aztecs growing the greatest hot pepper, and the Chinese ruler must have the latest toys, even as the expense of his empire.‚  The dialogue is snappy and has a fun sort of brevity to it, regardless of what side is being played.

The actual gameplay, well, it’s so simple that I pretty much already summarized it.‚  Taking full advantage of the Wii Remote, all the actions your faction can do – building units, upgrading, casting spells – are accessible from a single screen.‚  What little menus the game features expand from a bar at the top of the screen, and there is almost no text except for the dialogue screens between stages and short bursts of text from characters.

If anything, there is a lack of information in Swords & Soldiers that can be frustrating at times.‚  For example, in a normal RTS or tower defense game, you would be able to see each character’s max hit point level, and attack and defensive ratings.‚  As far as I can tell, this is kept intentionally vague in Swords & Soldiers.‚  I know that the big, brutish golems of the Aztecs obviously have more strength and hit points than the archer-like dart shooters, but how do they compare to jaguar warriors?‚  Outside of trial and error, it’s hard to tell the “best” units for each faction.

This is a somewhat minor quibble though, more of a complaint about not being able to see how the sausage is made.‚  Most of Swords & Soldiers’ 30 campaign stages, 10 for each faction, are balanced well and allow you to get a feel for the strengths and weaknesses of each.‚  Generally, the first five or six stages of each campaign introduce you to the units you’ll use and suggest tactics, and the final couple of stages are maddeningly difficult.‚  In particular, the last two Aztec missions took me more than an hour each to beat.

However, the colorful graphics, good animation and robust sound effects keep things fresh, even if you’re trying for the fifth time to beat a specific stage.‚  Swords and Soldiers looks crisp, like the best of 1990s Saturday morning animation; the art style is reminiscent of SNES and Genesis puzzler The Lost Vikings.‚  All the characters have their own sound effects, and the leader of your faction barks out orders as units spawn and confront enemies.

Swords & Soldiers is available exclusively on WiiWare for 1000 Nintendo Points

With a considerable amount of pluck and charm, Steal Princess manages to elevate itself past some middling gameplay mechanics and into the range of an above-average puzzle game. While the premise is utterly bizarre on paper, the tongue-in-check humor reminiscent of Disgaea, Makai Kingdom and other Atlus imports creates an experience ultimately worth sticking through.

The humor starts within a minute of gaming. After watching your controlled hero, Anise, get caught by an Indiana Jones-esque boulder puzzle while robbing from the Demon Palace during the opening scene, she is seemingly dead. This causes an unidentified voice to remark, “No!‚  You can’t die before they reveal my face!”

Wisecracks like this are a common element of the game, most emanating from reluctant hero Anise. She wants no part of saving a kidnapped prince and the kingdom at-large from the threat of the Almighty Demon Emperor. Unfortunately, because of a thief with the same name as her “" wink wink, nudge nudge “" she takes up the mantle of “legendary hero” instead of being strung up at the gallows. The supporting cast is similarly nutty. The unidentified voice from the game’s opening moments is your guardian fairy, Kukri, who zealously insists that you are the legendary hero, and whom Anise ignores with hilarious thought bubbles for the majority of the game. Although the Demon Emperor is capable and coherent, none of his henchmen are, especially the sprite-ish demon Lucretia. How does she talk? Well, she always asks her own questions and provides her own answers, often repeating, that’s how she does it!

Steal Princess needs all of this humor and personality in its characters, because the game itself is fairly by the books, and downright frustrating at times. It is a traditional top-down mix of puzzle and adventure, as you use the stylus and control pad to move Anise around a grid layout. Anise comes equipped with a whip, which is mostly used to position enemies and hit switches. Other items, like swords, bombs and lances, are left lying around stages and are used to defeat enemies. The whip is the only item that carries over from stage to stage, and Anise can only carry two items at a time, so much of Steal Princess relies on good planning.

Most stages require you to complete a stated objective “" normally, defeat all enemies “" and to also bring a key dropped by the final enemy to a locked box in the stage. There is no time limit, although beating a stage within certain times earns you gold, silver and bronze medals. Gems are also scattered throughout stages and dropped by defeated enemies, which are used to pay down Anise’s debt in town and to buy items for your own maps in the Create-A-Map mode.

The initial stages of the Grasslands area walk you through the controls and mechanics, but Steal Princess starts to tax the brain pretty quick, and I hit my first dead end within the first 10 stages. Throughout my experience, there was nothing so ridiculous that I couldn’t figure out what needed to be done. This isn’t an esoteric graphical adventure like Myst, or one of the mind-numbing puzzlers from the 1990s like Solstice, The Lost Vikings or Young Merlin. “Tricky” is a descriptive and correct term for most of Steal Princess’ difficulty.

When the difficulty of Steal Princess is elevated, it is generally a reflection of the game’s lack of focus. It mostly rears its ugly head in design and play control. For example, while the game is primarily a puzzler, it throws mini-bosses and stage bosses at you. None of these battles are particularly entertaining, as most either involve running circles around the boss until you get an opening for an attack, or vaulting up to their platforms to take a slash at them. Repeat either tactic for two minutes, and you have victory with minimal effort and danger.

The second issue is the slippery play control. Movement is much easier with the control pad, but vaulting “" using your whip to scale up several platforms “" is easier with the stylus. Several stages in a row might require minimal use of whip, meaning you haven’t used the stylus for 20 minutes, and the next stage will require seven vaults in a row over a chasm that means instant death if you fall. Then, you might be right back to control pad gaming the next stage. There is little rhyme or reason to the game balance.

If you dig the Steal Princess experience, you can also create levels with the custom map maker, and then trade them over WiFi or with friends locally. There are 150 levels to start with, but it will be interesting to see what comes out of the minds of the niche Atlus fan base now that they have been handed the keys. It’s a solid addition to the game that extends its replay value further, and you can’t complain about that.

If you can overlook these flaws and focus on the quirky characters and dialogue, then Steal Princess is a good addition to your DS gaming library. It aligns itself closely with the type of off the beaten path games Atlus is known for.

Steal Princess is available exclusively for the Nintendo DS and retails for$34.99

The developer of Puzzle Kingdoms, Infinite Interactive, should just be more honest with its naming. Instead of giving each “new” version of their series a different title, they should use numbers. This would at least signify the derivative gameplay and design in each instead of building up hope for the same jolt of creativity inherent in the original Puzzle Quest.

At this point, there is a certain “paint by numbers” feeling to each new game released by Infinite Interactive. There are slight tweaks, such as switching from the Bejeweled-style of the past games to a new system that compares more to a hybrid of Bejeweled and the classic board game Labyrinth, but the same engine hums underneath. Specifically, a challenging early-game experience leads to easy, mind-numbing repetition as you gain levels, and this is a monumental issue when there are no enchanting visuals or sound to fall back on.

Puzzle Kingdoms starts promisingly enough, as your tongue-in-cheek hero is a bit plucky about his assignment to save kingdoms from famine by securing the Box Of Evil in each. Apparently, these were planted at some point by a Skeletor-looking figure. Keeping with the comparison to 1990s cartoons, after you save each kingdom, Skeletor essentially shakes his fist and chastises a minion, similar to Dr. Claw from “Inspector Gadget.” Unfortunately, outside of the overall goal of saving the world, there is no story continuity from kingdom to kingdom.

When you swim past the initial sea of text to open the game, you finally get to the relatively simple puzzle dynamics. You control a hero who commands a group of up to four soldiers. Sliding rows of colored symbols on a board up, down, left or right, you try to match three or more. Do so, and you either fill up your magic meter or the attack gauge of your troops. Each of your troops has attack and defense statistics “" when they take too much damage, they die. If you lose all of your troops, and you don’t have a hero in reserve, it’s game over.

As previously mentioned, Puzzle Kingdoms is challenging in its initial stages. The beginning units “" peasant, swordsman and archer “" all have very low default stats. As your hero gains a few levels, his or her stats stack with the troops; i.e. if your hero has a defensive rating of three, then all the troops under their command automatically gain three more hit points. Equipment, spells and new troop types are all unlocked via timed and “solve this puzzle within X moves” mini-games after you conquer kingdoms.

Unfortunately, this initial challenge is negated within a few hours. Once you survive the first pair of kingdoms, you get access to the knight unit, which can soak up damage for the rest of your troops. Another acquirable item gives a five-point boost to the defense of all your units, making it easy to win battles even if you have four peasants. You are technically limited to carrying 100 “points” in each kingdom “" for example, a high level hero costs far more points than a level one hero, and the knight costs 13 points to the peasant’s five “" but as long as you carry a few items, you are practically invulnerable.

If one feeling permeates Puzzle Kingdoms, it is this lack of caring and balance. I suppose it is nice of me to save the ogres from resorting to cannibalism, but meh, I don’t really care if I don’t. I mean, the main character is kind of entertaining, but nobody he interacts with is. The game also froze on me several times, invalidating an hour of work. And even though it is an untimed puzzle game for the most part, you have to use the Wii-mote to play it, which leads to input errors, because of a generally sloppy interface. How much can a company really care about a game if it recycles the exact same perspective, style and mechanics from a game released on the PS2 several years ago? Or if they make idiotic decisions like using a minuscule font for all of the dialogue? If they don’t give an S, why should I?

Unless you feel like lining the pockets of the developers a bit more, there isn’t any real reason for me to recommend Puzzle Kingdoms. The original of the series, Puzzle Quest, is still the superior game of the trio “" stick to that if you need a puzzler on the Wii. Kingdoms is only worth playing if you’re absolutely desperate for a new puzzler fix.

The Dark Spire should come with a large warning label on its cover, and not in the good way, like a new Wu-Tang compact disc, or whatever the kids listen to nowadays.‚  Rather, the warning should concern its anachronistic gameplay:

CAUTION!‚  Game will cause flashbacks to mid-1980s and early 1990s computing exploits.‚  The game programmers would like to take this moment to laugh at you if you were expecting any sort of overall story arc, automated functions or general helpfulness present in games released when more than 16 colors existed.‚  Also, please check any responsible feeling of popularity at the door, as otherwise, you will surely lose it playing this product.

With this pseudo-warning, I don’t mean to rag on The Dark Spire, but instead to put everyone on notice for what you can expect.‚  If you love Dungeons and Dragons, or wonder why they don’t make ‘em like they made Wizardry and Might and Magic and Ultimaanymore, then The Dark Spire will have significantly more appeal than if you grew up with the post-SNES Final Fantasies and gaudy full-motion video of PSX and PS2 titles.‚  The only game I can think of that is kind of like this game that came out in the past five years is Etrian Odyssey. This is a game that throws you into the middle of things and expects you to know how to plot a course – literally, because its map does not keep track of where you are at any given time.

If you have no idea what I’ve rambled about for the past three paragraphs, then honestly, this game probably isn’t for you.‚  If you’re kind of curious, realize that The Dark Spire has practically no graphics, outside of cardboard, non-animated models for its enemies and slightly-shifting backdrops, depending on whether a wall or door is in front of you.‚  The music is simple as well, strictly bleeps and blips as effects with a background theme underneath. It is a bare-bones, turn-based, dungeon crawl role-playing game that will only appeal to diehard fans of the genre.

The result is a bit mixed though, even if you grew up playing these sorts of games, like I did.‚  Playing this sort of game now seems masochistic.‚  The lack of refined graphics and sound isn’t as much of a killer as the crippling lack of options and accessibility.

The most glaring example of this would be the complete lack of information about any of the game’s weaponry.‚  The only idea you have of a weapon’s quality is 1) its price and 2) a short, one-paragraph description.‚  Traditional table top dice rolls are used to calculate damage, with modifiers based on class and race, but I only know this because of exhaustive testing done by hardcore gamers on various message boards.

Nowhere in the game does it tell you that a short sword is an 0d6, one-handed weapon.‚  Heck, it won’t even tell you if a shield can be used with it until you buy the damn thing and try to equip it.‚  And even though price is a guideline of a weapon’s efficiency, it’s not perfect.‚  A katana costs 3,000 gold, but if you have a dwarf warrior, a battle axe that costs a fraction of the price will do just as much damage.‚  But then, if that dwarf takes on a secondary class of ninja, it’ll do a ton of damage with a katana.‚  Such reasoning seems more random than logical and intuitive to me.

The other “why is it THIS hard?” issue would be the lack of direction and positioning on the auto-map for The Dark Spire.‚  In other games like the Might and Magic series, you can either cast spells or purchase skills that will reveal your position on the map for more than one move. ‚ Not so in The Dark Spire–if you get disorientated, you either have to cast a one-use spell or to keep compasses stocked in your (limited) inventory.‚  Neither is a satisfactory option for an issue the programmers could have simply solved.

Overlook these two annoying gameplay quirks, and you have a game that would be above-average if we time warped back to 1985.‚  It is at its best when your characters are churning through floors of the ominous tower, earning experience points to power-up base stats, class levels, secondary skills and spells.‚  There is the full array of traditional, esoteric quests that require you to do things like finding a pirate’s journal to gain access to their ship so that you can go up a couple floors to feed a squirrel pickled beer nuts to later get the elevator on the first floor working.‚  Weird?‚  Absolutely, but it is charmingly old school lunacy, as opposed to the frustration of the auto-map and weaponry.

In the areas of level grinding and quests, The Dark Spire is second-to-none, as you don’t have to re-roll your characters’ stats 50,000 times to get an 18 in one area.‚  Why bother with that when you can earn experience points to raise it later?‚  Later quests allow dual class characters to take on an uber-class combination.‚  For example, a character with level 10 training in thief and warrior can become a ninja, a front-line killing machine.‚  If you can master the mage class piously enough to retain your priest skills, you can become a druid, which has full access to spells from both classes.‚  These uber-classes also have their equipment restrictions lifted.‚  A thief can’t equip plate armor, but a ninja can because of its previous warrior training.

Because these battle and customization aspects are so good, The Dark Spire gets a moderate thumbs-up.‚  Like the latest independent flick, it clearly has a very defined, narrow audience, but it does provide snack food nutrition for that group.‚  However, if anything, The Dark Spire just stoked my nostalgia for the genuine article–After a few weeks with it, I just re-installed my copy of Might and Magic III with a DOS emulator, and found that entirely more satisfying overall.